Friend Announced She's Getting Married But I Have Reason To Believe She's Lying r/Relationships

[@BlueSkyBS]

Story 2 "I forgave him" "I forgave him" "I forgave him" "I forgave him". STOP FORGIVING HIM FOR F*CKS SAKE. This guy has mentally beaten her down so much that she can't even read what she's writing with any level of self-awareness, anymore.

[@hm5468]

She can. She’s just spineless. I’m tired of people not holding others accountable. She’s not in an inescapable situation and she’s not isolated. She’s just being with a shit stain and I really don’t see any other reason why except she’s weak. As per her own words, she understands what is happening but is taking no steps to fix it permanently.

[@victorr2698]

She clearly responsible for this too and is just as toxic. Husband said don’t hangout with this pow person and she continues to do it over and over again. So they are both just as bad but of course blame the man like always you clown

[@x1tekja]

This is why she's not innocent she makes bad decisions consistently ESH

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

@@x1tekjapeople who make bad decisions dont make them not innocent. I will never understand these totally intentionally un-understanding takes. There are a ton of communities where forgiveness is touted as the most important thing. If you dont forgive someone, you are a bad person and aren’t giving them a chance. It is never as easy as “you are an adult, make better decisions”. You have to actually HAVE the background and groundwork to make good decisions, they don’t just come magically at a certain age.

[@LilySaintSin]

Alice isn't the problem. Alice can probably see through OP's husband bs and he knows It. Leave this man OP.

[@kentario1610]

"my opinion of her will not change, she is a threat" My first thought was yeah, to you (the husband) she is

[@matthewzaslavets8423]

Alice influenced the OP to try LSD, she is a threat to her as well. The part where OP defended herself hy saying "I don't do drugs" is a great reminder that Alice is not a good influence. The OP saying she'll meet another friend and meeting Alice instead without saying anything to her husband, now how do you think husband feels? Considering OP lied before, thinking she lied about going to meet another friend is normal. It's like no-one even triesto think how the husband felt during the time she was we them, not rven OP described it, while the husband clearly struggled at the time. Damn people see the world in black and white

[@lynnw7155]

Why is she with this man?

[@miminana-hd6nf]

@@matthewzaslavets8423 are you the husband? because you sound just like him.

[@matthewzaslavets8423]

@@miminana-hd6nf thankfully no. I'm blessed with a lot more understanding girlfriend

[@AndyyWithAY]

There is a huge difference between calling someone to get weed and calling your booty call on the side. OP please leave this man. He will never get better. This is destroying you. You talk like a beaten down woman

[@Rae.Harper]

Story 2: “Like flowers to a beaten wife” OP knows this relationship is abusive (emotional and verbally) whether she realises it or not… she acknowledged it in those six words. Alice is a threat because she is not under a man’s control. She is a free woman (a little unfocused maybe but free) and he is worried that his wife will see that in this case, the grass is greener on the other side…

[@whims6278]

This 👏 🙌

[@Emily-ck9ji]

Last story - They need to get divorced. He gaslights the HELL out of her and tries to bend her to his will. The fact that he's in contact with his affair partner still should be enough of a reason for OP to leave. Do I believe she needs that friend and her weed in her life? No, probably not. But it seems the only reason she contacts this person is when she wants to feel "free" from the pressures of her husband. That she feels like she NEEDS to escape her husband's control on any level is a pretty red flag. He throws divorce around because he's convinced she'd crawl on her hands and knees to avoid it. She needs to file those papers and put him in his place. This relationship is toxic. According to her, she's the bread winner and manages the children and chores evenly with her husband. She can manage better on her own and not have to deal with being screamed at, judged, and gaslit by the man who is supposed to love and support her.

[@NCAnon]

You put this in words better than I could

[@pansprayers]

This goes beyond gaslighting, and straight into mental torture. He's getting a weird kick out of all of this, and uses the love bomb/emotional spin cycles to keep her off kilter. He'll never divorce her because she's the breadwinner, and his bragging point when he's in public, and should he actually divorce her, he wouldn't be able to torture her this way. There's a weird personality disorder combo going on with him.

[@NCAnon]

@@pansprayers why does it sound like you described Ed from TLC 90 Day Fiance? Oh. Oh no

[@wmdkitty]

@@NCAnon Because they _did_ describe Big Ed. (I don't even watch or follow, but even I know who he is.)

[@bearnaff9387]

They absolutely must not get divorced. If they become single, they could end up with other, decent people and ruin their lives. They need to stay together to isolate the rot.

[@WobblesandBean]

That second story - dear god. OP, _RUN._ He is NEVER going to change, why do you continue to believe him?! Ugh, it's so hard to see a person clearly stuck in with their abuser, unwilling to see what's obvious to everyone else. 😞

[@UnityDoesWhatever]

This story made me cry cause it’s exactly what it was like with my ex fiancé. I’m glad I’m out of that relationship now, but with that mental bullshit and gymnastics he’s pulling it’s gonna be suuuuper hard to mentally get over that type of relationship, I still struggle with what he did to me and navigating all the emotional abuse. I feel so bad for OP, having been in the exact situation for 6 years. :(

[@tinygabriel9760]

Ladies a ring and so called "security" isnt worth a toxic, sad relationship with a man who doesnt respect you and doesnt want to change... YOU DESERVE BETTER.. Edit: he blocked eva but a recent chat of hers magically appeared😒🚩🚩🚩

[@brigidtheirish]

Hell, the guy's cheated on her several times over the years. That's a case for annulment if I ever saw one.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"Ladies a ring and so called "security" isnt worth a toxic, sad relationship" When society talks about the "security" a woman gets from being married to a man, they are referring solely to financial security. Ignoring the fact that marrying a man in no way guarantees woman's financial security (the opposite in many cases), society likes to act as if that's the only kind that matters. What about physical and emotional security? What about being able to feel secure in your relationship? All the money in the world means nothing if you can't feel physically and emotionally secure with your partner.

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

Considering that OP is the breadwinner, I’m not sure what kind of security her husband provides, certainly not emotional

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ineedhoez]

​@@AngryReptileKeeperexactly... financial security from a time when women were not permitted to work because of legalized discrimination. This woman is the god damn bread winner

[@Mewse1203]

Stpry 2: " you're right honey. I do surround myself with bad people....so here are my divorce papers." Dude Alice didn't even sound bad. She wa the victim of a scam...so she's a bad person?

[@ladyj.9350]

“Sad you have a loser like alice around you” dude sounds like a high school bully who never grew up

[@jakemarie828]

Honestly his hatred of Alice and fear of weed is so hypocritical. He can get so drunk that he stays out til 2 AM and makes himself sick, but she can't smoke with her friend for an evening? I bet Alice stuck up for OP when she was living with them, and that's why she is a "threat." Classic abusive isolation. OP: RUN.

[@sfsin3380]

​@@jakemarie828 My guess he's trying to project but couldn't find anything he could spin into an affair so instead he latched onto Alice. That bit at the end where he say he'd worried about OP seeing Alice and smoking weed every day again despite OP having never having done that before. Ya that him with his affair partner. He's gone back to seeing and sleeping with her everyday.

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

Well, Alice does sound a little irresponsible. Two things can be true at once though. The husband is a shitty husband for sure.

[@rossbrumby1957]

Introduces her to lsd and mixed up with antifa and isn't bad? WTF?

[@pansprayers]

He isn't going to divorce her, she's the breadwinner, and he wouldn't be able to screw with her head like this anymore. Get rid of this lying, projecting, AH.

[@AndyyWithAY]

ALICE is not the problem, no one give a f@#$ about Alice. The husband is the problem. He is deflecting. What about Alice? Funny how he doesn't say OP painted too bad a photo of him, but made Alice look too good

[@helenafarkas4534]

Story 2: op, next time your husband threatens divorce, take him up on it. Your marriage is over. It’s been over for a long time. Take care of yourself and your kids, because he’s made it clear that he won’t.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Yup. She should thrust the divorce papers in his face and say, "sounds good to me! Here's a pen!" I bet hubby would combust on the spot.

[@StefenBruh]

To be fair I don't think she's really the better parent either. Considering she drives her kids around while high

[@Puffinugginns]

Whats funny is depending on where they live all he needs to do is say she gets high even if he only proves it once. his cheating wouldn't even be questioned. It doesn't matter if weed is fairly harmless or not most judges are still old school when it comes to drugs of any kind.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 2: I seriously can't comprehend how people stay in situations like this immediately after they write these things out and post them...You would think they they could get past the abuse fog that victims are in, but I would hope they can break out of it after writing all the abuse out

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. OP is being abused. She needs to get out and talk to her kids because I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's doing the same thing to them.

[@y2kthe2nd38]

It's horrible. Her husband knows he has to stop short of being cartoonishly evil because she has financial leverage.

[@Hrb3968]

Emotional abuse is so difficult to break away from. There’s no physical marks, it’s so easy to gaslight yourself

[@robertx8020]

Ppl like OP will never leave their partners because 'it's not their (partner's) fault " They should just not trigger them ...and "it's only sometimes" We can only hope that her husband walks under a bus some day :(

[@AndyyWithAY]

Hind sight is 2020. It's all obvious to us because we're not in it. If she makes it out of this, she'll wonder she stayed so long

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 2: Can I file for divorce on someone else's behalf?

[@indianspartan76]

22:47 I agree with the husband on this. OP, why do you surround yourself with people that are bad for you, for example, your husband? And also Alice, I guess......

[@NCAnon]

You had me in the first half

[@WobblesandBean]

No, not Alice, just the husband.

[@laica01]

was thinking the same

[@indianspartan76]

@@WobblesandBean Naah, I've known too many 40 year olds get roped into MLM and other shady shit by people like Alice.

[@Flufferz626]

@@indianspartan76 so women can't befriend another woman who falls prey to an MLM? I struggle to understand your logic.

[@TaltharaKaelthas]

Girl is exhausting, she is the kind of person who makes you wanna bang your head against the wall but you still try and help because she's obviously in a bad way. She is in an abusive relationship PERIOD. There is no help for her until she chooses to acknowledge that.

[@pansprayers]

Showing here WHERE it's abusive is a place to start. If you grow up in a toxic family situation, this is literally what you think is NORMAL. Absolutely nobody acquires the knowledge needed for a relatively normal life right at birth. Thinking that she would just 'know' that this is not OK when she's continuously alienated from her entire TWO friends is as ridiculous as me expecting that you knew how to tie your shoes, walk, and talk, as soon as your head crowned at birth.

[@hm5468]

@@pansprayers I grew up in a toxic family situation but I have a brain to think with and as consequence I’m even more intolerant of shit from people I’m with because I can easily get rid of them as opposed to the time I was living with my family as a kid. So I need people to stop creating excuses out of past circumstances.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

That second story. The cycles are grabbing my attention. And the story and his activities, including the cheating, remind me of someone I know who is bi-polar. Or he could just be an azzhole.

[@WobblesandBean]

Even if he IS though, it's not an excuse for abusing OP. She needs to get out of there _now._

[@pansprayers]

It's also a pattern of someone who deliberately throwing off their partner to keep them on uneven footing. It's hard to care for yourself when someone keeps yanking the rug out from under you.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

@@WobblesandBean agreed

[@bunnyslippers191]

It's the classic cycle of abuse. OP says there's no "tension building phase," but she's so used to the abuse she's just not seeing it. The "everything" is her fault and demanding she cut contact with everyone outside of him is classic isolating behavior. He's not hitting her, but he's abusing her mentally and trying to isolate her. He even promised to get couples therapy, but somehow it never happened-it never does. She needs to get out of there and get therapy for herself and her kids.

[@myhubbyislouisvuitton4218]

He’s a narcissist and she’s addicted to the cycle.

[@rokuth]

On the 2nd story, her husband is correct that she is surrounding herself with bad influences... and that is her husband. She needs to drop him like a bad habit.

[@msredux]

Op has already received counselling from reddit, and she completely disregard it, she is married to a cheating emotional abusive man, but she keeps on forgiving him, they won't go to a therapist, I honestly don't know what she expects

[@cl5470]

She's addicted to the ups and downs.

[@lunabelle01]

My parents relationship was like story op 2's. My mom stayed in a relationship with my father after he pulled the same shit.. for twenty five years. It wore on her, and unlike that op, she was a stay at home mom. She had 0 outlets and 0 ability to leave. My father? A cheater that gaslit my mother and was a massive controller. Op needs to leave. Otherwise he's gonna pull the same shit on their kids.

[@Bijecarli]

Mark...man. You have been knocking it tf outta the park with these updated stories, even some of the ones sans updates. Your insight, your readiness for expressing empathy is breath of fresh air from the soulless commentary from other similar channels.. Thank you so much for making my chores easier to do the past two years; productivity is slightly through the roof lolol

[@sannahayes832]

Exactly how I feel!! You expressed his value so well. Mark Narations is my favorite stories. Even if I have heard the same story read by someone else I listen to Mark as he tells every story so much better than anyone else does.

[@SyskeBehard]

@@sannahayes832 agreed!

[@ReGGiEbayer95]

100%

[@whims6278]

This is exactly what I enjoy about him as well. He's always so empathetic and kind hearted, but civil (I'd be unable to hide my anger with some of these) and warm. It's such an upgrade from the robot voice ones 😭

[@theresablack9261]

On that second story, girl just fucking leave! Ditch the man if not for you then for your kids. Cause your kids will take the image of your marriage as how love works. Your kids will grow up thinking that push and pull love is normal and eternal. That being controlling of your segnifigent other or the segnifigent other being controlling is normal. Even if you settled and seemed to have stopped caring about your health due to staying with this man, do you want your children to end up like that. Get counseling. Get a lawyer. Screenshot everything. Leave him.

[@Ospyro3em]

My head was spinning listening to story 2- that sounds like a seriously unhealthy relationship

[@WhitneyDahlin]

How is no one talking about the crazy women lying about getting married!!!! Like wtf all anyone is talking about is the mundane second story! Like wtf 😂

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

My ex was one for lies. Apparently he once had a bird land in his hair and lay eggs. He karate kicked his teacher across a room... His dad was the culprit. My ex was absolutely 100% convinced his dad was former SAS and had a cyanide pill in his tooth. In hindsight it's so sad that people feel the need to make up lies to get the approval of others. As far as I know, no mental illness was ever diagnosed, however the whole family were all exactly the same with the lies, to the point it was exhausting trying to figure out how much of what they say is the truth. Very sad ☹️.

[@SkyEcho751]

No, the bird didn't lay eggs, It took a dump in the empty hole that should have held his brain. From what I understand it's sometimes not their fault they are pathological liars, but it is their fault they don't bother seeking help over it. Edit: I With the update, it sounds more like She is suffering some kind of other issue, and pathological lying was a symptom. The fact she is on medication sounds like it's along the lines of schizophrenia, but I don't know Nearly enough to say it's one specific condition.

[@sunisbest1234]

@@SkyEcho751 I was thinking along the lines of schizophrenia as well. Or bipolar. My son has both. Acute. He lives in a different world. When they are so far into delusions, it's pointless trying to reality check them. That IS their reality. Son went through a stage where he believed we were clones and he had to get rid of the clones to get his parents back. Bloody terrifying! Fortunately, he was admitted into hospital as involuntarily patient and stayed till they got his psychosis under more control. Took a while. I don't argue with him about his delusions, nor agree with him. It's a fine balance. It takes a lot of time, work and meds to help anyone that far down their delusional road as OP's friend. Hopefully she stays on track.

[@itsjustme7487]

My ex said he was in Aluminum sales. ( Picking up recyclable cans along the highway) And the time he was in the oil sales business (changing oil at Jiffy Lube)

[@marahbaker8615]

It's so upsetting how little can be done when someone is stalking you until they've done something seriously dangerous to you

[@huinismith]

"Flowers for a beaten wife". I nodded because "flowers" is just another word to refer to Mary Jane. After the update: Holy manipulations, Batman! What can I say, I would call his bluff.

[@AndreNDP]

I was ready to say S2 was like, 70/30 his fault, but maybe she shouldn't hang around toxic people and such, which Alice is. Then heard the updates, and HOLY SHIT IS HE ALARMING. If she stays, this is the kind of mental case that snaps and kills you someday. There is no happy ending here. He's a monster and she needs to get the fuck out yesterday.

[@libbypeery1533]

The last one he's either been cheating the entire relationship, on and off, or it started up again recently. He probably also starts so of these fights when his other relationship is rocky

[@ynmonroe]

Definitely agree with this. Controlling people like him tend to strike after their own wrong doing.

[@Alteusgirl]

Story 1: i had a childhood friend who was like this, when she talked in groups she had those crazy stories about school trips and people from her class having crazy outings and all but it was always weird because her parents were best friends with mine and if she went on a school trip it was usually discussed, i also knew she was always home on weekends not on outings with friends.. then the lies became bigger and bigger to the point she invented internships where she as an intern secretary was given the responsibilities of an actual real estate agent because she was that good and also started to lie about things that concerned me and my friends crushes and boyfriends.. until i said no more and cut called her on a bs lie that she was making up about a party and she lost it and came to my house and attacked me and that's the problem with people living their own delusion like op's friend, when you go that far into inventing yourself a whole other life even to close friends.. once their lie gets too real they can get violent and they need help, because while small lies are ok and not dangerous those extreme cases usually can get very bad... the worst part with my ex friend is that the lies worked and she stole the bf of a close friends and convinced him to help her get a job in real estate while she didnt even finish her secretary diploma...

[@tintinismybelgian]

The word is "fabulist."

[@ScarabD]

16:12 ...Oh trust me, lady, speaking as someone who went through this in childhood: you're not being nearly as subtle as you think. The kids KNOW things are bad even if they don't know exactly how or why.

[@AlyssaGettingScrapDone]

The husband's reaction in story 2 to hearing the OP spent time with Alice made me wonder if he had an affair with Alice and is worried she'll find out.

[@pansprayers]

Sounds like he knows Alice thinks he's a POS, and has no problems telling OP.

[@huinismith]

My mind went in that direction too, but then I thought "oh, she disobeyed her POS husband".

[@ynmonroe]

Plus I keep thinking that this is his way from isolating the OP. The "criminal" did nothing to suggest she hasn't changed. What's his beef?

[@nathanhinman9069]

Story 2 is an absolute mess that needs to end yesterday.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Last Story: I am 90% on OP's side... but Alice does sound like a leech and OP seems in denial that weed is a kind of drug. More concerning is the idea that she thinks she is able to hide her and her husband's dysfunctional sh*t from her kid. Kids pick up on things and unless that house is more soundproofed than a bunker, they've probably heard the arguments.

[@Alecswelms]

I'm glad someone else saw this too.

[@milieg3309]

It is obvious she is turning to drugs to cope with that asshole husband of hers and he is using that to beat her down further. She has stayed with him too long, now she'll either be an addict or a slave for life, maybe both

[@JasperIllusian]

yeah even if the arguments arent being heard, you cant hide silent treatment from your kid, esp if its days long. they'll notice and likely also have gotten the silent treatment tbh

[@digitalharmony26]

Honey, leave him. You’re asking strangers what to do in your marriage. He broke you. You’ve given up. He’s abusive, manipulative and a gaslighter. You’re not benefiting your kids by staying. I promise you they’re noticing what’s happening. Leave. For you. For your kids. For your peace of mind. For your freedom. For your safety. Please.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: I think OP's husband, in his own most eloquent phrasing, is a "lying liar"! I hope she takes him up on divorce especially since she is the breadwinner while working from home and taking care of her kids 24/7.

[@angelaa7388]

Story 2: he would never divorce her, as he keeps threatening to, because then he would not be able to control her any more. Narcissists like to play a game where the words and phrases they say can sound like they are just trying to be good person/look out for you, but it's the intention behind the words, and the entire scope of the situation, that reveals how predatory they truly are.

[@teresadurham8828]

I feel so sorry for their kids caught between doormats and controllers.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- so heartbreaking for OP to lose her mum and my heart is with her. I have a story that kind of ties in with this post regarding husbands behaviour. It's not an excuse, but I would really push for husband to get mental health treatment. I'm not a physiatrist and could be wrong, but the way husbands behaviour is described sounds so much like Borderline personality disorder (now renamed emotional unstable personality disorder). The black and white, you're good or bad, love hate, sudden outbursts of anger ect, all sound like symptoms. I was diagnosed with this disorder 16 years ago when I was 18, although I am a lot better on medication, and more aware of the condition and how to handle it. I have a friend who is a fellow BPD/EUPD sufferer, however, when we first became friends, she was only just starting to get help for the condition. This post almost perfectly describes our friendship those first few years. Things would be great, then I would do something to irritate her (like not replying quickly enough on messenger) and BOOM, I was horrible, I didn't care about her feelings, I am selfish and unkind ect ect. I would be blocked. A few weeks later I would be unblocked and we got back in touch with each other again. With help, my friend is now also a lot more able to manage her emotions. She is an absolute real life badass with a heart of gold, and although our friendship has its... Turbulent... moments, I am so glad she's doing better mentally. I could be completely wrong about husband, he could just be a pure blooded asshole.

[@carolroberts4614]

My ex husband was like this when we were married, back in the seventies. I'd just lost my mum when he started his shenanigans, and had 2 small children. He didn't have any mental health problems, he was just a cheating scumbag. It took me a long time to get clear, and I hate that there are women still being treated like this.

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm a group where one day, a bunch of BPD havers began mercilessly bullying another member for calling many BPD behaviors "toxic" especially if they refuse to seek treatment, which is objectively true. Just goes to show how these people think, and that they frequently think having BPD means no one is ever allowed to hold them accountable for their actions.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

@@WobblesandBean Unfortunately some people with BPD can be like that, and refuse to believe they have an issue. I have BPD but have been receiving mental health support since I was 14. For a long time I didn't believe that my toxic behaviour was toxic, I genuinely didn't see it. Over time, with therapy and a good support circle who call me out if I'm being out of line, I have learned to recognise my toxic trains of thought and talk myself down from them. I'm far from perfect, but I do my best. It's a very confusing disorder, your brain lies to you and you cannot trust your own distorted thoughts, it makes you see things from extremes. Although, if a person is able to understand they have an illness then their behaviour is their responsibility, and people (including myself) should absolutely be held accountable. I understand that now, took years of therapy.

[@StefenBruh]

@@carolroberts4614 men are treated like shit too. It's not gender exclusive.

[@beckygilmore4798]

This is a true definition of toxic marriage… poor children in the middle of this s storm

[@NCAnon]

My anxiety actually spiked listening story 2. This is a horrible situation. Not even therapy can fix this. OP needs to just leave. Give the husband the divorce he threatened to go through with and get the kids away from him.

[@MidnightAndLuna]

I went to high school with someone who was obsessed with one of the members of New Kids On The Block. At the time, it seemed like just a weird crush, but it persisted into adulthood and got worse. One day, me and a few friends received wedding invitations for her and his wedding. This was in our mid 20s. They were not getting married, btw. I found out later that her parents were feeding her delusions and even would drive her to where he lived or places he would be. I hope she got the help she needed. If she did, it would have probably been court ordered because her parents certainly wouldn’t have.

[@pattyslater514]

The first story broke my heart. Mental illness can be so damaging with a widespread affect to friends and family. It was nice that it ended on a positive note and she was finally getting the medical attention she so sorely needed!

[@kathydurow6814]

Story 2: any chance husband was cheating with Alice while OP was at work and he's scared Alice will tell her? It's a stretch, I know, but she was living with them for a while. OP is the breadwinner. She needs therapy herself, her emotional resilience seems very low (understandably, though). Maybe someday hubby will threaten divorce and she will whip out the papers and say "sign here".

[@Fingerscrossedout]

I thought the same thing, or Alice told him straight up what he's been doing to op is toxic. So alice sees for who he is and he does not want to have op find out

[@courtney.marlene]

Even more likely, he came onto Alice, she rejected him & his ego couldn't handle it. Honestly though, I just don't think he wants OP to have any friends. He wants her entirely dependent on him, plus Alice is now single & it sounds like Bob was a dick. It sounds like Alice is doing better single, she's done a lot recently to make her life better, holding a job for example. Maybe her relationship was the cause of a lot of her previous behavior, OP wouldn't want his wife to get ideas that single life might be a vast improvement over her current situation. Alice doesn't seem like a bad person, a little irresponsible, but she's young & doesn't have kids. I don't think it really matters though as I'm pretty sure OP's husband would find something wrong with any friend his wife tried to have.

[@samalvarez8776]

It kinda seems like the husband either tried to sleep with Alice, or did sleep with her. The way he's so against her is strange. My ex was like that. He would talk trash about a girl he wanted to or has slept with. Alice won't tell OP because it would hurt her feelings, but it's super sus that the husband hates Alice like this

[@k3upikachu]

I think she just sees the light and he's afraid she'll convince OP to leave him

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Story 2: JUST DIVORCE ALREADY.

[@protoskeeper]

17:42 that comment spoke to me way too much ... I already left that relationship but I have a hard time admitting it was abusive because it was just like this, there were a lot of times were everything was just so good until then again something happened where I wanted more freedom and was beat down. It is still hard for me to admit to myself how shitty everything was and how I could stay in it so long... This really resonated with me and I think it helped me quite a bit going further on my journey of self improvement. Thank you commenter and thank you Mark for always reading these stories, some of them really help me heal.

[@babette1762]

it's like how a fisherman plays with a fish on the line, let them swim a bit and then reel them in.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - OP needs to either break up with this nutcase or somehow force him into couples therapy.

[@Mimiroo]

My ex has a pathological liar and I didn’t know the full extent until I’d broken up with his and moved 3 cities away to get away from him. He made up his first girlfriend (who’d supposedly died), made up a full friend group I wasn’t allowed to meet, and made up so many stories I lost count on what was true and false. After we split up he stalked me for 6 years and the lies ramped up to the point I was scared for my safety and tried to get a restraining order.

[@Graves933]

I knew a girl like the one in the first story. She had an online boyfriend that she really loved and cherished but one day her parents found out and took her phone away and forbid her from continuing the relationship and talking to him. She obviously continued and during an abroad trip she meet him briefly under the eifle tower, they kissed and he gave her a ring. Tw ahead When she got back home something happened and he ran away from home and hung himself carving "fuck all " into his arm. The story changed on certain days and no evidence was ever found of him existing or killing himself, also a mutual friend was WITH her in Paris and didn't see her move anywhere to the eifel tower lmao

[@kalinaphillips9779]

Story 2. This is one of the most toxic stories I heard in a long time. What OP is teaching her children is that abuse is ok. I doubt the therapy would help. It is too deep and too habitual. It seems they enjoy this kind of relationship. If they do, that's fine, but they shouldn't put their children through it. Their children will learn this behaviour and live like their parents.

[@cthulhusmom]

In dealing with pathological liars- it's usually not helpful to start questioning, pointing out or bringing the lies to light. It makes the liar frantic and they will only panic and lie more. Pathological liars don't want to lie, they feel a lot of shame about lying. Very similar to when someone asks "how are you" and many people say "fine" automatically, pathological liars compulsively lie. The best way to respond is to let them know that you like them for who they are and not for the lies they tell. Make sure you say things like "even if that didn't happen, it's a good story. You are so creative, maybe you should write that down." If you take away the stigma of lying, they are more likely to get comfortable enough to address the lying. They may still lie to you, but they are more likely to admit that they were lying later, when they calm down. When they do admit that they were lying, don't moralize, just thank them for telling the truth and move on. Pathological lying is usually the result of social anxiety, like most insecurities it can be overcome if the liar experiences a calm, neutral response enough to realize they are safe.

[@natashaisaacs8874]

If O.P. doesn't think her kids don't notice that they are fighting she is wrong, the kids definitely feel the tension in the house while the husband is throwing a tantrum and not speaking to anyone.

[@phtevlin]

#1 I worked in Psychiatry for several years. NEVER confront a delusion; the deluded individual will always double down when confronted. All you can do is not reinforcing them.

[@cheyennetrumbos]

Love that this drops just in time for my walk home from work.

[@threeducks157]

Kind of reminds me of the misunderstanding fiancee caused when she told her parents that she was "dating an older rich men" FIL at first thought she was lying, then he freakout thinking she was a sugar baby or being taken advantage of. Next day he showed up to my house, i answer the door and he takes a look at me and asks "is tour father home?" I very confused answered "my dad is in another country, this house is all mine" *crickets* he asks "whats tour name?" I told him my name, at that point he busts out laughing and apologizes, he finally introduced him self, and its now a very funny memory we share. I was 27 ahe was 22 btw we got a 5 year gap.

[@Girl-Supersonicboy]

Story one honestly hits close to home for me. My mom has this "friend" Jen who clearly has bipolar disorder. We let her stay with us, she was living in her car during winter, and she started seeing things that weren't there. My mom has not touched alcohol in over 3 years, a year at the time Jen lived with us, and Jen accused my mom of being a druggy and drunk. Jen then pulled me aside and said to my face that she suspects I have been SA my younger brother; who was around 10 at the time. Why? Because he likes to wear only underwear and would come bug me in my room or give me hugs. She then accused my mom and I of trying to ruin her life. Stuff like my mom is sleeping with her ex (wasn't), we were sabotaging her getting a job (wasn't), and so many other things. We kicked her out after a while, and my mom still gets messed up texted from Jen. Jen accuses my mother of so many things that are laughable at times. I had to block her because she was threatening me with police because she still thinks i was SA my brother. People with these types of delusions need help, but sadly in cases like Jen they wont

[@khaleesireyna731]

Honestly, story 1 sounded like OP was talking about my mom (like one of her friends or something). Same age, same delusions, everything. It was eerie. My mother has bipolar and as of last year I had to cut all contact with her because she accused me of attempting to murder her and has lied about me on court documents. She's tried to get me committed, I've tried to get her help. She's gotten a DUI and gets upset if I even mention how that affected me. Now I'm away from her and I'm free. It sucks sometimes because now I'm basically an orphan, but I'm also better off and the truly sad thing is that I realize, I lost my mother a long time ago.

[@Jxmiie]

My name is James and my ex name is Ashley💀 and she ALWAYS LYING ABOUT SOMEONE just to ruin their relationship with ANYONE

[@littlemisstink921]

I swear…after reading that second story…I’m actually pissed at OP too for sticking around and going back time and time again and letting her kids grow up in a toxic household with an abusive father and spineless doormat mother. She knows that shit is toxic as hell and yet still refuses to leave. She’d rather get on Reddit and play victim than get herself and her kids out.

[@kerridwynntheacegoblin6465]

Last story has me actively shaking and seething as I remember my last relationship where he tried to gaslight and make me feel dependent on him. He is why I don’t dare anymore, even now, over a decade later.

[@shadowm2k7]

The anime convention I was really nervous about selling my art at went very well!! Thanks so much everyone for the positive vibes & kind words!!! 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘 Happy Valentines, Mark!

[@brendapaws7933]

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to get the help you need, no matter what the problem is. EX: drugs, drinking, mental health. I'm happy that op's friend in the 1story is getting the help she needs and have family and friends that cares for her.

[@KarmatheCorgi]

Story one is the reason I HATE our health care system... You have to dangerous to get immediate help? So, we're just gonna let you suffer in silence because you aren't "hurting" anyone. I don't know the answer but... it isn't this.

[@Mimikinn]

Well, OP is surrounding herself around bad people who will drag her down. Her husband is the best example of this.

[@kreuger2062]

My grandpa died in a hospital bed in Mexico, i live in the US, my mom and I were able to collect enough money for a single ticket to Mexico, till this day i feel empty for not being able to be there with him before he passed and not being able to give him a last goodbye before they buried him. I'm not doing this seeking attention i just wanted to tell a story somewhat similar to OP, and say it's extremely painful to not be able to be there for loved ones final moments.

[@bailey678]

Story 2: That marriage and relationship is TOXIC!!!!!! Op needs to run.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Some people are just argumentative. You can never be perfect enough to get along with them. The husband is toxic

[@d.l831]

I had an ex like the second OPs husband. Rules for me, not for him. And when he did whatever he wanted, I was punished for not only his actions, but what he decided I did (yes, DECIDED. Literally just whatever was in his head in that moment, I was guilty for. No proof, no discussion, just his imagination) I felt crazy and like I was the problem in our “relationship “, even though I spent ALL of my time either working, at home, or with him. It wasn’t enough. NOTHING I did or didn’t do at his will was ever enough. I left. And I have never been happier

[@JennyT101]

I had a co-worker who constantly told lies. None of us really knew how to deal with it, so we just smiled and nodded at her stories and got on with our day . She claimed her famiky were millionaires and that she was very closely related to the family that owns de Beers diamonds (we live in Podunk USA FYI), she claimed she was a part time paramedic and had to retrieve a decapitated head on one shift, she had nearly qualified for the Olympics in downhill skiing etc.

[@kittybit711]

geez louise that last story is wild! it makes me kinda sad :(

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) I can't even, I would get proof of everything and secretly see a lawyer. I feel like he would turn into John Skelton if he knew she was leaving. Quickly and quietly get out of there with your children before it's too late.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, that's definitely the best way to do it safely!

[@joshuapierce3085]

It really makes me sad to hear everyone immediately saying that Wendy was delusional or something. Yes, in the update of the first story, it's found she actually is, but I recognize myself from Wendy's part of the story, and no, I was not delusional. I was catfished. The guy had said he was a marine and independently wealthy but couldn't access his money at the moment as he was deployed overseas. At the time, I was going through a really hard time and couldn't get any of my family or friends to listen so turned to social media and dating apps. The kind words, compliments, offers of gifts (that I normally 99% of the time turned down with the exception of helping get my mom flowers for Mother's Day and a few books), and the great body he showed me in pics had me almost head over heels for him. Thankfully, I was smart enough that even with all the emotional turmoil, I was smart enough to flat out say that I would not marry him without meeting in person. Eventually, I did realize I was being catfished when one of his other victims got in contact with me. Unlike me though, she had agreed to marry him but unlike Wendy, he convinced her to pay for the wedding herself. The other victim turned out to be a harder psychopath to deal with than actual catfish had been. This is not to say that OP in the first story and the other commenters weren't right, just that I find it sad that everyone jumped on the "Wendy is delusional" bandwagon right after the bat. I'm very glad she got the help needed though.

[@shells500tutubo]

You WERE delusional, just not as much as the others in this story.

[@cl5470]

You have to be prone to delusions to fall for those scammers though. Thinking you can fall in love and plan a wedding with a stranger on the internet is insane. Even here, you are deluding us and yourself. You absolutely sent this person money or gift cards. I bet you are still sending money to strangers as we speak. Unless you get help, it won't stop.

[@cl5470]

How can I be so certain that you sent money? Because that person who contacted you claiming to be another victim is just another scammer. These are professional scam artists who work together and share the name of anyone who they can trick into sending money. Some will also pretend to be federal agents who can help you get your money back. It's all a scam. Stop talking to strangers online. Go meet someone in real life.

[@thetokenwon506]

Story 2 I'm having a hard time listening to this update. OP is an idiot for forgiving this piece of shit human being that is emotionally abusing and manipulating her. He's cheating and keeping her emotionally exhausted so she either becomes numb or initiates the divorce so he's not the bad guy.

[@selbarton]

1. Odd how the mental issues were left out until comments brought it up. Makes one wonder if OP wasn't the one making it up. 2. Step 1: isolate. One day in 5 years is always drummed up to every day, too much. Next clue: drugs to self medicate to ignore the abuse. It's a tool to avoid getting to the point she makes herself responsible for getting out of the abusive relationship. Instead she became an addict that felt she deserved it. It's her form of self-punishment. She even acts like saying she wouldn't be friends with Alice any more and then calling her up wasn't an issue. She didn't want to talk with him. She wanted punished for her lies and going after her addiction. As much as he is abusive, she needs to correct the analogy. It's like alcohol for an alcoholic. She threw away her values for her addiction. She will likely risk losing the kids since her solution to stress is get wasted, and a good parent can't be wasted. Her only dose of a drug that will impact her the rest of her life. Her family and kids didn't come before the trip that can warp her mind out of no where at any time. "Occasion arises" can be any and every hour every day. She got high and drove home. She put everyone on the road at risk. Started to sound like she is an addict with a partner desperate to get her out of her addiction. She says doesn't do drugs, so her weed and lsd are what she is not calling drugs, likely medication.

[@1tommyday]

S2 OMG...PLEASE LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND! He is all the bad things a person can be. Stop forgiving him and start the filing immediately.

[@RokoFireFox]

I was not expecting the update to the 1st story. I mean I knew it was going to be something. But not that James and "ex" didn't even know eachother that well. I really hope Wendy gets better with the help.

[@ACCER]

1-Once someone cheats they can no longer play the "You are a lying liar and I can no longer trust you" card. It is forever removed from their deck. Nothing makes you more of a lying liar that can't be trusted than cheating. 2-Sorry, but if you were dropping acid and smoking weed then YES, you DO DRUGS. YES, your husband is right to be concerned that you are doing those things at all but especially around your children! 3-BOTH of them have every right to play the divorce card in their respective situations. Their relationship is toxic because they are both toxic people. I feel bad for their children.

[@LisaApril]

Story 2: that must be hell for her children. This woman is so horrible for not taking her children and leaving.

[@brandyb2931]

In high school I was friends with a girl who told me Donnie Wahlberg was her boyfriend. She told me he bought her a cherry red 5.0 mustang and said she would come pick me up to go to the mall and hang out etc. Of course she always had excuses for not having the car, he was adding ground effects etc. I was always just like "Oh yeah, so cool." She would go into the elaborate stories about how they met and dates her took her on etc. I don't think she ever thought she was actually dating him, I just think she was trying to sound cool to me. Idk why, NKOTB wasn't my thing, I was more into Metallica. This was in the 9th grade 😂. I switched to a different school the next year and never saw her again till I was in my early 20's. I was working in a bar and she came in with her nurse friends. It took everything I had in me not to ask her how ol Donnie was doing. 😂😂😂

[@VidWatcher01]

Donnie huh? I would've gone for Jordan 🤣🤣🤣

[@minecraftmum3436]

2 points from that last story. First is, if husband has blocked Eva, how did she manage to message him so openly? Second, I would have totally called his bluff on the divorce thing as the relationship is just continuing to go in circles. I'm thinking he's more than likely getting involved with this Eva again

[@rahulmodi8706]

Story 2 - OP and husband both need major therapy and need to grow up. Alice sounds like a nightmare, I feel sorry for the kids. You know the kids can hear the fights and the dysfunctional and passive aggression is very unhealthy.

[@GMAMEC]

Right, he was wrong, but why hang around Alice? The kids may not say anything, but they know.

[@emeraldsword4528]

Story 2: he appears to be abusive (from this story). I know it's going to be a lot right now, but OP needs a divorce ASAP. OP CANNOT begin healing until the divorce is finalized. Weaning herself off the (recreational) weed would also be a good step to take. There is one thing I do have to agree with the husband on, though: Alice is a bad influence. By being around her, OP is likely to fall into a pretty bad addiction. Example: Op tried a new drug for the first time with Alice. Both husband and Alice are dangerous and OP needs a third person POV in order to see that.

[@cheskydivision]

My ex husband used to pick fights randomly. It was usually during the times he was cheating or in the flirting trying to cheat but if that relationship didn’t work he would be nicer. If I was doing well or optimistic he would also pick fights to bring me down to keep me dependent.

[@sassyrose7437]

Husband: Why do you insist on keeping bad people around you? Me: Because divorce/attorneys are damn expensive😑 Omg please leave this abusive marriage! Know your worth. You are better than the treatment you are accepting.

[@VidGirl88]

That second one...just throw the whole husband out. He's gone bad.

[@CrazyClef]

First story sounds like erotomania. It can be heavy on delusions, there’s a really interesting French movie about it called “he loves me… he loves me not”

[@roelthas]

That's a mess of a marriage but that's on both of them, not just the husband.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 2 sweet Jesus stop living this hell, he is abusing you emotionally for years a cheating emotional abuser. Get out of there….unless you love the drama some folks are into the drama. I couldn’t live on egg shells waiting for him to explode.

[@-Umbrella.]

If he is cheating on you, gaslighting you, blaming you, accusing you, and controlling you then leave. Sometimes we get so used to abuse we forget how easy we can breathe on our own. Leaving isn't easy but staying is always going to be harder and the longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

OMG, OP is mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused by this loser. He is cheating on her. I picked up on that quickly. He is seeing Eva, he is trying to gaslight her into believing it is her fault. He is a master manipulator and he is trying to keep her "locked" to the house to control her. It is classic. He is a narcissistic control freak. As for his threat of divorce, just divorce him and get it over with. OP is the breadwinner, she does not need him, he needs her. My husband would NEVER tell me who I could be friends with (even if he hated their guts), and I would NEVER tell him who he could be friends with. That is how a normal relationship works. Pot is legal in the state I live in so her pot smoking is a non starter for me. I love that she does not judge people for their past indiscretions but maybe she needs to judge her husband for his because he is still cheating.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I really hope OP has proof cuz the title makes her sound crazy

[@miriam9419]

I have known two pathological liars. One was a harmful one, one was not. So the first girl would just make up fun, strange or random lies to make herself seem more interesting or to fill conversation. The other would make up really harmful and horrific lies (eg lied about being raped but luckily for the guy she lied about it being on a day that he was with a group of mutual friend out of state). I softly confronted the harmful girl at one time and she turned on me and made it her life mission to turn everyone against me. I didn't find this out until around 5 years later. I would say I wouldn't follow the advice to confront or investigate lies these people tell you. They know they are lying and will either dig deeper or try to discredit you. Tell people not to trust them but don't do anything else.

[@SandiL-]

Dear heavens! Story two was straight out of the original 1944 movie “gaslight” starring Charles Boyier -- Stop fussing you millennial and gen z waffles! I fully own that I am much, much older than most of you, probably old enough to be your grandmother-- that husband absolutely was controlling in the worst way!

[@1964Puddles]

Reading about the relationship between that last couple was exhausting. What a train wreck.

[@digitalharmony26]

I have a family friend like the friend in story one. She’s had a really bad history relationship/baby daddy wise and was really quite attractive when she was a lot younger (according to my mum) and she’s in some level of denial about reality. She supposedly hooked up with and started dating a member of NSYNC when they toured our country and her town yet on his social media it’s clear he was dating someone else long term. She sent us pics of him she supposedly took of him backstage but they were posted the year before on his Twitter. Now she’s dating a millionaire jeweller who is currently travelling to Cairo (despite our country being close to travel due to the virus) they have no photos together besides ones obviously photoshopped. Apparently he is making her a massive engagement ring and buying them a house as well as starting college funds for all her grandkids and even buying her parents a house. She’s sweet and harmless but obviously shrouded in insecurity. If we ask her questions she’ll take forever to reply then come up with a lie that doesn’t make sense. It’s sad but considering it’s harmless we just let her be and don’t engage much anymore.

[@bellarose-au]

Story 2, some relationships are just toxic. This couple need to do the right thing for their children (first and foremost) and separate. ETA: "I don't do f#cking drugs"... um, yeah, you do. Weed IS a drug. It may be legal in some places, but is still a drug. So is LSD which the OP admitted to taking. As to the ex-side chick, it is entirely possible she emailed him out of the blue, perfectly innocently, to share the pic she came across. My ex from 25 years ago recently bumped into my parents (after they moved to another state - one I've never lived in) and told them he still has some cds of mine and if I want them back, I should call him. Ha! (If I wanted them, I would have replaced them 25 years ago). My mother - she's the best btw - refused to take his contacts or give mine, telling him (truthfully) I'm happily married and was celebrating 20 years with my husband. Photos, I understand hanging on to. There's no replacing them and there might be other people in the pics. But hanging on to cds for 25 years... THAT'S disturbing.

[@umustbkrayze]

Story 2 the sad part is that she not going to leave him anytime soon or ever, next she going to use the kids as a reason to stay. They only way she going to separate from him is if he leaves her for Eva and even then he still will string her along and she will accept his treatment like usual. And the Alice situation I wonder if he tried something with Alice and she shot that down or he just fears that Alice maybe be a strong character and will get his wife to see the light with the help of the 'smoke'.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Ok if what OP is saying is all true, the friend is absolutely lying about this. She is delusional. She probably has never even talked to James

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

It sounds like OP’s friend is suffering from schizophrenia or something similar. It’s pretty sad as it is scary.

[@raz7573]

My friend from high school used to lie about relationships. She had boyfriends we never met nor saw a picture of. She said she met rock stars and celebrities, but no photos ever materialized. ETA. I’m not friends with this woman anymore. I got tired of listening to her tall tales. Everyone in our friend group dumped her too.

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

The second op should realize that he's one of those bad people that's apart of her life. That dude is toxic and is a controlling & negative force in her life.

[@BraveryWing26]

LEAVE JUST LEAVE second OP! If you dont you will regret it forever.

[@mikealaparr4132]

I'm no psychologist. However, having survived narcissistic abuse, I can confidently say her husband is a narcissist. Narcissists never change or get better. She really should leave him.

[@shhd2105]

I hate when people say well "they're not hitting me so it's not abuse"