My Best Friend Just Confessed His Love To My Boyfriend r/Relationships

[@tuopsy]

i don’t understand how redditors keep harping on OP “punishing her” or “being bitter” when this is literally about OP getting a new job. it’s not all about the wife just cuz she’s a mom.

[@aentn]

I think its because of some people having been in a similar situation on the mom's side or has seen this happen and was on the moms side, or some old school bs about "Mothers are the only ones supposed to love and care for the kids"

[@ChrisMr666]

@@aentn they all seem to forget the mother did this to herself. And OP is the one helping his mother recover from the choices of her actions. He explained why he is taking the new job and yet everyone wants to write off her crimes and the consequences of them. Those who think OP is the a**hole are children and do not understand responsibilities.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

​@@ChrisMr666 Seriously 😂 I was confused at the shear amount ov YtA comments considering he had to move for a better job to help pay for her fvck up, which was stealing 30k+ from her husband's mother (who is on a fixed income) so she could buy herself clothes, makeup and designer bags. Oh and some kids toys. And they think because she is a mom that she should be allowed to suffer no consequences from her theft?! I don't get it. And I'm a parent to three kids and an ex junkie. I've done some things I'm not proud ov but I will never hide what I've done and I always seek to make right the wrongs I have committed. I hate people that feel no remorse or refuse to apologize for their mistakes. If the wife were truly remorseful she would understand why he needs to move away with the kids, she is a felon and is going to have a much more difficult life from here on, because regardless ov whether we should judge others for their past actions or not we always will. And some people have a hard time changing so they should be treated with skepticism until they prove otherwise. Commiting identity fraud on my aging mother! 30k is a massive amount ov money, especially for an elder on fixed income. That upsets me so badly.

[@MrGhettoblastin]

Pretty simple, the aita subreddit is chock full of sad unemployed women

[@icecreamnoodles3742]

​@@MrGhettoblastinThe amount of incels in that place disproves that. There is honestly enough on all the loser ends to deck out both genders. So going after one in particular just makes you sound bitter.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Last story: people seem to conveniently overlook, that those kids will always be stigmatised in their old town and when you've been bullied before, you know how damaging that can be to one's self-esteem. He moved to a job and place that allowed in-house child care and psychological services were available thanks to this. OP might have been able to pay for this or got it from insurance in his old job, but this was making that way easier. It sucks for the mum, but I think in the long run this is better for the kids. And I get weird vibes from the people who hate on OP for "keeping the kids from their mum" as though you'd need a certain parent/gender of parent to be able to become a well-adjusted adult. She bought them new designer clothes, etc. all the time. Imagine how entitled and bad with money they could have become if this went on longer or at an age were stuff like that seems more important to kids. How is that being a good role model for your kids?

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Thank you, your the only person I've seen mention that part. If OP had stayed those boys would have totally hated her by high school at the latest. Edit spelling.

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

Years ago I had a student who ended up at our alternative high school exactly for this reason. Their mother commited fraud against the township she worked for and lived in, and they were bullied for it at their regular school. Moving wasn't an option as they ended up living with elderly grandparents.The best the grandparents could do for them was enrolling them in the regional alternative school where fewer people knew their circumstances and they could have the support of staff. The school had in house social workers and partnerships with various groups to provide these services for our students. Stigma in a small town is a real thing and should not be treated lightly.

[@yohishi1221]

If op did not move his kids would be stuck because his ex is a fraud would be a local town gossip and warning perfect for bullies and from what we see in teens at school this would be use for labelling them and blame for stolen stuff for a long time. Also the mom certainly do not care that her actions impact her family lives permanently in town right does she ?

[@wmdkitty]

You know what bugs me about people saying OP is "keeping the kids from having a relationship with their mother"? The fact that the only reason that relationship is broken is because of HER OWN CHOICES. OP is fine, he's keeping his sons away from a bad criminal influence, and should not even consider visiting her.

[@LunaMane]

Precisely. I'll bet they just skimmed through everything but only paid attention to how the mother cried, which I believe were only crocodile tears. You know she'd just use her sons as part of her scams if she got custody.

[@kili_liniani_3768]

It’s also the fact that they are acting like if OP was moving just because he wanted to hurt the ex wife, and not like he is moving to get a better job and more money for his kids, himself, and help his mother who got financially destroyed by the ex wife. I get it, it’s a hard decision, but it’s for the best for them all.

[@taz598]

What they also over look is the fact that if she would do that to her MIL what is to stop her from doing the same to her own children....as their mother she defiantly has the info to do so. Even if she was the best mom in the world who in their right mind would want to risk traumatizing their kids again if she gets taken out in cuffs in front of them or worse getting them involved in one of her schemes.

[@tharfield9012]

Unfortunately I feel if you switch the gender, few would care about "his" tears.

[@mindyschocolate]

She’s going to prison. The only person who took her away from her kids was the ex herself. She chose crime over her kids. OP is right to move.

[@gorudashiro]

So, on story 2, this is what I am hearing: "my wife did something highly illegal and very personal, so we got divorced. I got full custody of the kids and she got only supervised visits. I'm now not only having to support my kids without any help, including looking for childcare because my wife isn't allowed to be alone with them, I'm also looking forward to probably having to help my mom out of the financial mess that my ex-wife put her into. I get a better job offer, and I want to take it, even though it means moving farther away. But clearly I'm the a****** because even though my ex-wife created this financial burden and I'm the one taking responsibility for it and she's not allowed to be alone with the kids, I'm taking them away from her." This just triggers me in so many ways. I mean, he's willing to accommodate his ex-wife, as best as he can, but she created a burden that he's left to clean up. She doesn't have any right to be pissed, and and she's lucky that he didn't fight to have her parental rights removed, because if she did this to his mom, what's the stopper from trying again to do it to him? Or to the kids? I've seen that before too. I know somebody who's credit was ruined at the age of 17 because her mom kept taking out credit cards in her name. While she was a minor. But he wants to take this better job, but he's still willing to FaceTime make sure the kids have all the visitation possible, including EVEN TAKING THEM TO GO SEE HER! I feel like some of the commenters in Reddit don't even read the post completely. They just skimmed through it, missing some of the more important parts of the post. So many people calling him an a****** because he has to move away to take a better job so he can clean up this b****'s mess! Okay, I'm done ranting. Sorry, and thank you if you made it this far. I applaud you. ETA: Oh, yeah! And that the sons were being BULLIED at home because of her!!!

[@jestersreign7530]

Unfortunately from some of the Reddit post I've read you'd be surprised how many of these people have read all of the comments and the whole post and still refuse to acknowledge any opinion besides their own.

[@gorudashiro]

@@jestersreign7530 right. I look at Reddit on my own, and have even suggested one of the stories Mark read once. So I've seen it. Some people just have no freaking sense at all, and I might under certain other circumstances side with the mother, but it seems like absolutely nobody's taking into consideration all those things that I pointed out, hey so they just want to crucify the dad because he's a guy, and the woman is the kids' mother. It's like, "women can do no wrong." I remember once reading in a book a small biography of someone who was horribly abused by his mother. Shortly before he left her home at a very young age, I think about 9 years old, she had stabbed him in the chest and just missed his heart. But somebody got him out of the home, and he became successful, and he became a public speaker. I remember something, along the lines of, where somebody asked him why he wasn't bitter about what his mom did. I can't remember what he said, but I do remember that he said that later as an adult he went to go see her to try and get some closure. She told him that if he hadn't left, she would have killed him soon after. That he wasn't bitter for all the abuse she put him through was nothing short of miraculous. He said something along the lines of that he didn't even hate her for it. His life had come together, and she wasn't a part of it. So anything that happened in his life was due to his choices, not hers. And I've heard people all over the place saying, you have to love your mama. She gave birth to you. Does that mean that the prostitute who doesn't have an abortion and beats her kid because she lost her prostitute body by having him is worthy of any kind of respect? I get that you got to do what you got to do to survive, but that doesn't entitle you to behave any which way you choose. And just because she spread her legs and didn't insist he wear a condom doesn't mean that she's entitled to anything. Sorry; I don't know if you've noticed, I have a tendency to rant sometimes.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@gorudashiro Having a parent is only a good thing if the parent actually gives a fuck. 0 is better than a negative. This is what people fail to see. I haven't seen or spoken to my father in nearly 20 years. Having a father figure would be nice yeah, but not MY father. That would be bad.

[@jestersreign7530]

@@gorudashiro it's fine I had to stop myself from ranting on my comment. Actually deleted like two paragraphs of stuff that was originally in my comment.

[@gorudashiro]

@@jestersreign7530 I say let it out.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 2 NTA- Imagine calling a guy an ahole for protecting his children from being ostracized by their town or city because their mother decided to become a criminal. He did what was absolutely best for protecting his children. All the YTA comments genuinely don’t know what they’re talking about lol

[@mikaq19]

That was my thought too. I agree with you 100%. This move was most beneficial for the kids. The mother is still too selfish to see it. She would rather her kids suffer being ostracized than her having to face her consequences.

[@Wileybot2004]

It's because reddit has a hard on for believing women can do no wrong. If the genders were reversed the tune of those people would change so fast it would break the speed of light.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@Wileybot2004 oh yeah the r/aita subreddit is filled with nothing but man haters. I remember a post about a husband and wife and their newborn and the husband was posting on Reddit because his wife started a small fire in the kitchen and totally abandoned the newborn in the living room and ran past the baby out of the house when she could have easily grabbed the baby. They live really far out in the country so it took the fire department like 30 min to get there. The baby would have d I e d from smoke inhalation. But luckily the husband happened to be coming home and ran in and grabbed the newborn but the wife tried to stop him. And reddit called him a monster for yelling at his wife for abandoning their newborn in a burning house 4 literally no reason. I stopped going to the subreddit after that post. This subreddit hates men so much. Men should never ever go to the subreddit for advice or ruling. And if they do they should not mention their gender at all or pretend they are a woman.They will never get a fair ruling otherwise

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Agreed. Mom needs to sort her shit out. She still doesn't seem to understand that everything that's happened is a consequence of HER actions. Also, she scammed her MOTHER IN LAW.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Is no one processing that this lady defrauded her own mother in law who's on a fixed income of 30 grand?

[@WobblesandBean]

Wow. Imagine trying to steal your best friend's boyfriend, and still thinking you're not the bad guy. That update was wild.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

That's called "narcissism." Guy thinks he's the main character of the story. He's selected a love interest for the story, and the love interest's boyfriend is clearly an antagonist.

[@Mx-rr3qm]

That called beign a nice guy😄

[@robertx8020]

I bet that 'nice guy' would pull the Homophobic card as soon as ppl would disagree with him even if therse persons would be gay themself! It fits the profile of this AH ! But I feel sorry for OP that his mothers seems to be a homophobe herself It should not affect the relationship though!

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@robertx8020 homophobe is an incredibly overused term, and from the sounds of it, Mom isn't remotely one. I suspect she just got upset seeing her future grandchildren being taken away from her. As long as she still expected him to eventually give her grandchildren, she was fine with him having sex with men. We've heard far worse from the mothers of childless straight couples.

[@robertx8020]

@@groofromtheup5719 ok

[@Cosmo270]

I honestly can't understand the YTA comments in story 2. As a society we have put mothers on a pedestal and it's practically a cardinal sin to judge mothers for their actions. That's why there are so many stories of mothers doing horrific things to their kids and being allowed to get away with it. All the commenters saying that "she's the mother" and "it's cruel to take kids away from their mother" need their heads examined. She committed a crime, but not just any crime, she committed a FELONY and could've faced serious jail time. If she cared about her kids so much then she shouldn't have committed the crime. OP did what was best for his family and also got approval from the courts to do so. He was even kind enough to not make her pay child support. The kids are 5 and 3, they're still very young and based on the update they were doing incredibly well an OP even did everything he could to include the mother in their lives. But that still wasn't good enough. I have a feeling that if the genders were reversed the commenters would be encouraging and label the dad as a "deadbeat". Before anyone says that I'm a man who hates women. I'm a woman and I don't hate mothers. Just those who think that the world owes them because they are mothers.

[@x1tekja]

Appreciate and applaud your thoughts

[@PawleyGirl]

If the roles were reversed, and this was a woman getting away from a man, the commenters would be praising op for doing the right thing for her family. Of course since it's a man, he's the a*hole. People are crazy.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Yeah. Especially the whole “YOU’RE ISOLATING THEM FROM THEIR MOTHER!!” No, going NC would be isolating them. He’s taking them back to see her, plus doing video calls whenever (god bless modern technology ). That’s a far cry from isolating her.

[@tamarasmith9060]

Last story: I am completely stunned over how many people cried about him "taking his kids completely away from their mom" when 1- That's not what he was doing & in his original post even made it clear that supervised visits & phone calls would still go on, just that the in person visits would be not as often. 2- Her criminal actions were literally beginning to hurt her children's emotional & mental wellbeing, & yet she & all her sympathizers don't seem to care. OP said that everyone in their small town were not just shunning him (probably suspecting that he had to be in on the fraud) but also shunning the kids! They were suddenly being excluded from their peers right at the age that developing friendships & social skills becomes as equally important as family relationships are. This is probably a big part of why the courts gave OP free reign to move far away even though there was an order for visitation with the mother. OP wouldn't even have had to point it out in his application himself. The court appointed social worker for the children would likely have already noted that effect on the kids as part of why the kids need therapy (in addition to a marriage breakup they were too young to understand). So then when OP applied for permission to move & said his new job would not only pay more but also get therapy for the boys & himself as part of his medical benefits, it tipped the scale in his favor even more. Not only was OP needing a better paying job because the wife was clearly not finding a job even though her 3 months in jail was over & she's on probation now, so he needs to pay for childcare when he wasn't before & also help his mom who the wife defrauded, but those people crying about how the kids will miss their mom are clearly overlooking what the ex's actions were doing to the emotional health of the kids! She couldn't have been as great a mom to them as they think because she was spending time & stolen money sneaking around to purchase things on the computer. Also she was going out in person while OP was at work to retrieve all those designer items & makeup & whatever else she was buying, meaning she was not spending quality time with her kids then but instead dragging them around with her or pawning them off on a sitter without OP knowing. OP said that even once he found out it was designer stuff the items he saw couldn't have totaled to the debt. That means she was also likely spending big money on intangibles too. Was she getting her nails & hair done at an expensive salon instead of doing it somewhere cheap or doing it herself like before? Was she getting massages at a spa or such? The money was going somewhere. 3- The crying that "she needs her kids" is BULLSH*T!!! It is never the responsibility of a child to fulfill emotional needs of an adult, even their parents. It is the responsibility of the adults to care for the kids. If she can't be a stable & responsible person without kids to care for then she definitely can't be stable & responsible when with kids, because kids take a lot of time & energy (both physical & mental) to care for properly.

[@Steampunkkids]

The pessimist in me wonders if those crying “but she needs her kids” or “kids need their Mom” will still be saying that when the Mom steals her kids’ identities.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

You said EVERYTHING that I was thinking.

[@robertx8020]

@@Steampunkkids They make up some other BS Because ppl like that will NEVER change their minds I somethimes wonder if they even read the full story but stop at "taking kids away"

[@robertx8020]

I agree with you @Tamara Smith but next time please use some spaces ..it makes reading so much easier :)

[@robertx8020]

Op also needed to move to get a BETTER paying job to help HIS mother out, who is also a victim! OP's ex sounds like a selfish B****

[@tuopsy]

that wife is so selfish! she stole money “for the kids” but when OP gets a job that would give him more money “for the kids” all of a sudden the kids don’t matter and only her feelings matter.

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: Imagine stealing from your own mother-in-law and calling your SO a butthole for divorcing and taking the kids. Though I do believe without a doubt that she loves her kids, it doesn't excuse her for her actions. This is her new reality. It's up to her if she wants to pull up her pampers, admit her wrong doings and start getting some self help. OP's a damn good father. What he did was incredibly difficult and brave.

[@mariabarker2036]

She doesn't love them. If she loved them, she'd want the best for them. But she'd rather her children be in a worse place for them so that she can keep thinking of herself as a loving mother. Selfish to the core, that one.

[@KCCAT5]

My ex-husband and the whore he's living with did exactly that to my mother-in-law she died bankrupt

[@lisashook4290]

This woman was charged with a felony which means she has probation and cannot leave their state. She stole $30,000.00 from her mother-in-law. It is OP’s responsibility to raise those boys by himself. He is willing to drive them to see her. As long as he’s getting them counseling and protecting them from the backlash of HER making he does not need to give HER anything.

[@philwill0123]

Don't matter how introverted you are. A "friend" who tries to steal your partner is no longer a friend. Full stop.

[@minecraftmum3436]

The sad thing about the last story is that either way the kids suffer. If OP didn't take the job and stayed then the kids would have grown up being bullied and sidelined for what their mother did. By moving away the kids have much less contact with their mother who clearly loves them a lot. While it is very sad that the mother is in such a mess over her children she brought this on herself and I think OP comes across as a very kind and understanding person and will do his very best to give the children all the support they need. My best wishes go out to him

[@WhitneyDahlin]

They could have moved in state tho? Like the other side of the state where no one would know them. Moving across the country isn't necessary if the only concern is the children, getting ostracized for their mother's crime. That being said I do think he made the right decision the mother was not a good mother. A good mother doesn't steal $30,000 from her children's grandmother (who is living on a fixed income no less ) just so she could buy herself designer clothing. She became a criminal and ripped her family apart. No actual good mother who actually loved her kids would ever risk doing something like that because she would never want to risk going to prison and being taken away from her kids. The mother should be grateful that she isn't spending 15 to 20 years in prison and she gets to see her kids grow up at all. The mother loves designer clothing and expensive items more than she loves her kids. If that wasn't the case she would have never committed the crimes to begin with

[@PrimateProductions]

Really? To me he sounds like someone who is coming up with all kinds of reasons to explain why it is better his way and to feel less guilty about something knows is quite possibly a wrong move...to feel less guilty and to justify it to everyone else...

[@PrimateProductions]

@@WhitneyDahlin she became a criminal, huh?

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

@@PrimateProductions The mother committed federal crimes and ripped off an elderly member of her own family so she could buy vanity items, then used the "I'M A MOTHER" defense to evade most of the responsibility. The right thing to do is move away and leave her lonely, even if a pay cut is necessary. The fact that this guy found a better paying job to support his mother and right the wrongs committed by the ex-wife? Dude is a hero, and you're only supporting the criminal because she owns and operates a uterus.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@LetholdusKaspyr Exactly. Sexism is sexism.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: Imagine calling someone an AH for "ripping kids away from their mother" as if said kids weren't getting bullied/excluded due to said mother's actions 🙄 she did this to herself. A "loving parent" wouldn't have committed a federal crime.

[@trashotaku]

Fr, I absolutely hate when people use the “but they’re family” bs to excuse terrible behavior and actions

[@brandijohnson8215]

Story 2 nta anyone saying that did not take into consideration the kids were socially being isolated in the neighborhood because of their moms actions. And he is still letting her see them

[@trashotaku]

Fr, the comments claiming to be thinking of OP’s kids while still calling him TA clearly didn’t register that part

[@RylieRiddle]

Last story: NTA, OP did what was best for his kids and doing all he can to make keep the mother in their lives while she sorts out what she can do herself. He's also tossing her a huge "bone" by not doing anything about the child support she isn't paying, his job is making sure she doesn't have to and she should be a bit thankful for that. If she does get some kind of permission from the court to move closer to OP and the kids, not only is that a good bump to her savings, but OP seems like he would even help her out in any way he can. Her own actions have caused this divide of her family, so long as OP doesn't alienate her from the kids, the ex wife needs to get over being distant and just work on her own stuff.

[@immapotato1]

seriously reddit and their female bias. the ex destroyed his mom financially and possibly OP as well and as always reddit is busy kissing anything remotely female's ass

[@technicaldifficulties368]

I agree. There isn't some sacred mom and kids bond that they need her like plants need light. Once she clears things up she can always move closer and get more involved with her kids.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

The reaction would be totally different if the father was the one who was arrested.

[@pegacorn856]

He needs to explain to her that the people in the town they used to live are punishing the kids because of her. They and he get pointed strange looks. Their sons are no longer being invited to birthday parties. The move has given them back a normal life. He knows this is hard on her but it's best for the kids and again he will be glad to help her get permission to move to their new state. Even try to find her a new job and place to live but she should keep her current job and apartment until she gets a new job after permission then an apartment.

[@Iflie]

Ex wife better start paying, I don't think it will help her case if she can't prove she'd doing her best to comply with the court order regarding her children. They like to se her commitment in paper. Instead she will just keep looking selfish.

[@neiltheblaze]

Last story: "But I'm a mom!" Yes - I can empathize. You're also a criminal! The courts are inextricably involved in this whether she likes it or not - that's out of everyone's hands, including op's - but that's something only SHE brought on - so, sorry, she should look in a mirror if she's looking for a villain. So mom thinks OP is supposed to ditch his new, good-paying job, leave the new neighborhood and new house his kids are happy in, and their new friends who they are bonding with, just so his wife - the felon - can feel like a "mom" without having to wait. What a self-centered narcissist she is! She should have thought about those consequences before defrauding her mother-in-law and involving the feds - maybe her life would be normal still. What utter nonsense! If she were a man, Reddit would be calling for decapitation. OP isn't forbidding a relationship! But he should absolutely NOT uproot his kids again just because mommy dearest - the actual, honest to gawd, FELON - is impatient with how long the courts are taking. While I feel bad for her plight - and I do - her feelings are the last priority here. I do have a degree of sympathy for the ditch she dug for herself - but she's the one who dug it. Sometimes there's no choice but to take your lumps and try and prove you're sincere and work to be in your kids' lives again. No one else can do the work.

[@darlieoneeleven]

Last story: I just want to say if the shoe was on the other foot... ( He had done that to her mom.) The same people that are telling him he is bad for taking the kids away from their mom would be telling her to run for the sake of her kids. I for one am proud of you! She made her bed and now she has to lay in it.

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 2: NTA he made the best choice for his kids, better opportunities and therapy for himself and his kids. Ex wife doesn’t seem to get there are consequences for her actions. She’s the one who created this whole mess. OP is not preventing his ex wife from seeing the kids.

[@jamessweat9168]

The last story. Alot of those commentors weren't thinking about the kids at all. Op said how the kids social life's were affected by the moms actions. So yes the move would help them and they can keep a relationship with their mother.

[@browniewin4121]

1) NTA. A friend wouldn't keep flirting when told to knock it off. Your boyfriend has the good sense to not want this guy around who went behind your back, and anyone trying to get together with your partner is not a friend. After update: Sorry for OP to learn he had a false friend who is such a nasty and defective person. After further update: It makes me sad that OP's family can not be supportive and happy for him, and trying to introduce him to a girl is ridiculous and disgusting after announcing he is engaged. 2) What a messed up person, she destroyed her family. OP needs to do what is best for himself and his children. NTA. After comments: Not a bad person and nothing to feel guilty about for moving and getting a better job and also a better location for the children to not be picked on and teased because of their mother. After update: I happy to hear OP and the kids are doing well and enjoying their new home. The X is a very selfish and unreasonable person, she is 100% the one who caused this to happen and has no grounds for trying to put the blame on OP.

[@ShubhamBH22]

Story 2: I agree with the comment at 22:52 that all these people are only taking side of the mom becase of gender bias. If the father was the criminal, they'd 100% be supporting the mom for moving away AND try to convince her to take child support.

[@heraclito3114]

Last story: Did all the "YTA think about your kids" miss the part where the kids are no longer invited to birthdays because the mother is a criminal?

[@alexvalentine5091]

The kids were being ostracized but somehow they still say “YTA. She’s their mom” like she wasn’t about to disappear from their lives for the next 15-20 years for a FELONY SHE COMMITTED

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@alexvalentine5091This is neither here nor there, but she NOT going to disappear from their lives. What part of she plea bargained and her charges got dropped to below felony level and just spent 90 days in jail did you not understand?

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@GrumpyOldFart2 1 year too late. Move on

[@khendralibbey617]

@@alexvalentine5091 I didn’t know there was a time limit on commenting on public videos. But completely ignore the fact that you obviously didn’t listen to the story.

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@khendralibbey617 I have no idea what you’re talking about

[@paden1865able]

When someone is predatory towards your SO, they're not a person that you should have around. Boundaries are there for a reason and this guy doesn't sound like he respects them. Flirting can be controlled, honestly, so don't believe his bullshit.

[@protojager]

Most of the people saying " but she's their mother" are the same ones who would laugh in your face if you said "but he's their father" so I tend not to take their concerns too seriously, Fathers are treated like second class citizens and Mothers are applauded for moving their children across entire continents to get away from criminal spouses.

[@Germania72]

If he confessed his feelings, he wanted to get something out of it. His friend would've betrayed him if his bf reacted positively. That's what he needs to think. His friend didn't respect him because he was flirting with his bf.

[@Ospyro3em]

were some of the YTA comments for story 2 from OP's ex or her friends? 😂

[@amphoteric]

last story: nta. the ex-wife would have probably opened up credit cards using her kids names/ssn's after they turned 18. the audacity of her doing that to her mil and thinking there wouldn't be consequences for her actions lmao

[@cnow82]

Why force the boyfriend to sit down with someone that has aggressively pursued him. Instead of thinking about his BF he’s thinking about his friendship.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Yeah. Im sure boyfriend is uncomfortable around that guy now.

[@caiargagnon]

I say if she wants you to meet this girl to "convert you" back to bi or straight, tell her you accept as long as she goes on a date with this woman you know because she also closed that door

[@Tyanna01]

Second Story: OP did the right thing. I lived in a small community where something not good a parent did made front page news. People talked for YEARS. My siblings and I were treated differently b/c of it. People talked behind our back. "Oh, did you know, they are the children of....", "Did you hear what happened to them....", "Oh those poor kids, didn't you hear what their parent did...." FOR YEARS. We left our church because of it. We lost friends because of it. Living under that shadow was so painful, b/c there is nothing you can do to change peoples minds and you can do nothing to stop the rumor mill. Any time you get in trouble "oh, it's b/c they are so and so's child." Any time you did something good "wow, I'm amazed so and so's child could achieve that." You try not to stick out. Kids stop hanging out with you and they don't know why beyond the adults don't seem to like you. Wow, that became a bit of a dump for sure.... OP's wife is selfish. She wants to keep her kids near and keep them under the shadow of what she did all b/c she doesn't want to deal with them being away from her. She doesn't care that they are going to a better school, that they have access the therapy, that have a bigger house and that her ex can provide them with a better life...nope....it's all about her and how she wants them near her. She still feels that she is what's best for her kids, but she's not. It doesn't even sound like she is remorseful in anyway, just upset it's cost her custody of her kids.

[@CarinaCoffee]

I'm sorry you had to go through this! And yes to all that you said!

[@draconicfeline6177]

Exactly! The kids actual welfare means nothing to her crocodile tears.

[@Davtwan]

The best revenge is living well. Harry can see how much more friendly OP is while he sulks with his lack of accountability.

[@canondocre8650]

I can't help but notice the blatant double standards in some of these subreddits. I've seen similar situations with the genders reversed where the commenters all but creamed themselves over the mother's courage to leave the first time offender husband. The stark reversal blows my mind. Someone's opinion is their opinion, but I think most of the ytas in this case are potentially a bit hypocritical.

[@mariem8705]

Loving parents don’t risk their freedom, loving parents don’t commit felony GT! Op’s wife had everything and blew it for some clothes and toys. Op is doing right by his children by giving them a better home. Imagine if the roles were reversed.

[@JoJoGranum]

The one thing I’d be concerned about is the ex committing a desperate act and putting OP as next of kin to force him to deal with her in hospital. Yes I can see it. Desperate people do crazy things like that.

[@DellCTRL]

“I can’t control my feelings!” That’s right. You can’t. You can’t control how you feel about someone, but you can control when you act on those feelings.

[@tinygabriel9760]

S1) Sometimes ppl cant help who they get feelings for but going behind op's back to confess thats shady .. obviously was hoping to steal the bf or start a fling.. glad he cut harry off.

[@Misspellednumbers]

Story 2: Wow, it's sad to hear so many people downplay what the mother did. She willingly stole/committed fraud against her husband's mother. All for what? Designer clothes and bags? She knew what she was doing, and she was ruining her family. How is she a "good" mother when she's taking advantage of people behind their back? When she put herself at constant risk of being imprisoned for _years_ ??? I feel bad for the kids, but if mom wants to rebuild trust, she should be doing it. People shouldnt be cater to her probation because "she did a mistake, she's still a 'good' mother." If she got prison, would people have wanted OP to take his kids to daily prison visits?

[@tharfield9012]

Amazing how many "best friends" really just see you as their competition and want to keep you in a bucket of crabs.

[@champslim]

I live in a city but it feels very small. He was getting weird looks and his kids were already being bullied. NTA at all

[@savagen7gamer807]

Story 2 I feel it is the other way around Everyone will be saying you're not the a******

[@cnow82]

I bet if the roles were reversed and the dad had done the defrauding no one would be yelling that he should see his kids still. Everything he is doing is with the best interest of his kids. She is again still being selfish and wanting the kids near her without providing any financial assistance. I live in a small town. Those kids are going to be bullied. He isn’t doing out of spite. He is doing it to care for his children. The bias towards mothers is detrimental to most kids. There are so many stories about mothers using their children. Not always. She decided that stealing someone’s identity to pamper herself was more important than her kids. She is a selfish POS. And forcing those kids to decide she is such a great mom and trying to keep her in their lives when she is such a selfish narcissist is wrong. Sorry. My blood boiled when I heard this story and the douche bags trying to shame him for actually trying to care for his children.

[@bbjjbb61]

You gotta love people with double standards. As a society we have gotten to the point where people are perfectly fine with children being fatherless but not having a mom? That's unthinkable. The fact that people don't even recognize this proves to me that men just cannot win. If that poster was a woman I guarantee most of the comments who encourage her to go right ahead and takes the kids.

[@oldgreggsmadmemes4431]

Story 2: well don't commit crimes then

[@LunaArtGallery]

In house childcare, therapy services and a pay raise? Yeah, take those kids dad.

[@dracawyn]

Story 1: if someone "just has a flirty personality" they generally behave the same way with pretty much everyone, not just a select, finite group of people they're particularly attracted to.

[@hesherette]

wow how tf everyone defending the fraudster mom going to just gloss over the fact that OP's OWN MOTHER was the victim that OP's ex stole from?!? like yes she's a mother to their children but that b stole from HER HUSBAND'S OWN MOM. OP did the right thing in bettering their situation away from her, hopefully she can get her crap together while they all do some much needed healing.

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 1: NTA I have fallen in love with a married man before and you know what I did? Absolutely nothing. The LAST thing I wanted was to persue him, because, when you love someone you don't want to hurt them and that's all that persuing someone who's taken does, it hurts everyone. That not what love is, your "friend" doesn't live him.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

First OP, your friend isn't the "flirty type." He's trying to actually steal your boyfriend because he has a crush and thinks you'll bend down and give the love of your life up just because he has love for a guy he can't be with. You may not be able to "get over" a love, but you certainly can deal with a friend being with them without trying to become a homewrecker. He's the one causing the issue, and clearly he doesn't care about who he hurts to get his way!

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 2: so I have a shit mother. She's awful, abusive, and manipulative, which is why my parents divorced. Now, I was 1 when the divorce happened and it was 99/2000 when the first custody battle went down. The short version is that my dad had to get shared custody (in her favour) even though he had photographic evidence that she couldn't take care of me because the judge decided that "a child can't be without their mother". A few years later, he won full custody because she traumatized me. Even though what she did was straight-up illegal, it was a hard battle for my dad because the court still didn't want to believe that he was the better parent. So it makes me really angry that all of these people are like "but she's their mom" about this, because she has proven that she is untrustworthy. She has proven that she is a bad person. Why would OP want to put his kids in her care? And furthermore, this woman has ruined he whole family's reputation in this town and no one wants anything to do with them because of her. So I don't blame him for wanting to go somewhere else for his and his sons' safety. NTA

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

Here's how your best friend should find out you have a crush on their SO: "Hey, yeah, been a while, I know. Sorry, I had a personal thing going on. Well, see, I found myself with a crush on your SO, which obviously isn't appropriate, so I gave myself some space and tried to put my life in a different place, so I could be around you both without things getting weird."

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP is NTA. How much time was this 'good mother' actually paying attention to the boys if she was online buying things with fraudulent credit cards, running to the post office to pick them up and whatever else she was doing? OP had to get the boys out of that area; being excluded from friends play dates and parties - combined with all of 'those looks' - in a small town is awful. Also, considering the ex screwed up OP's mom's credit, and mom is on small fixed income and will need financial help from OP, the ex has no right to fuss about anything. Ex is the reason OP's mom is going to have so many problems from here on out. My vote is tough beans and as long as ex keeps having these explosive reactions to OP reminding her she did it to herself, she needs therapy and maybe put GPS trackers hidden in the boys' backpacks or clothing if she ever does get overnight visitation. That woman is not stable!

[@ffraine]

Story 2 - I'm going to assume all the YTA comments were from ghost accounts created by the ex-wife, how could you possibly blame him for doing what's right for his kids?

[@mariabarker2036]

In what way is the mother a good mother? Do good mothers actively try to destroy her children's grandmother? Do good mothers commit financial infidelity? Do good mothers explode their families by commiting serious federal crimes? Do good mothers selfishly demand a worse life for their sons in order to keep them around branded by her shame? Precisely which of these actions are on the checklist of "good motherhood"?

[@SapphWolf]

Last story: Anyone else notice a pattern of the ex-wife only thinking of her self? She stole money so she could live beyond her means. She's made that he's taking the kids away from her. That he's kicking her when she's down. That he doesn't bring the kids around as much as she wants. She's not interested in what's best for them and never has been. She's mad that he moved because it inconveniences her.

[@delilahbelle2125]

S2: "She's their mother." Yeah, and she was their mother when she committed felony level credit card fraud. A good time to "think about the kids" was BEFORE she decided to commit a crime for the sake of designer clothes and luxury items. SHE made choices that impacted herself and her family, and all OP is trying to do is take care of his kids. Because of HER actions, the kids were struggling to find friends and acceptance in their community. Moving is likely the best thing for them to start fresh and move forward without living in the shadow of their mother's actions. NTA.

[@jadedflames2809]

S2 comments are just full of father haters and misandrists. Without the edits, trying to get her MIL into severe debt is not f*cking okay. She chose to destroy her family by committing this felony and to anyone saying she paid her due. Yeah, less than the bare damn minimum. OP is doing his fair share and isn't trying to rip their mom away and in fact, trying to do the best for everyone. Children can adapt and OP is already going to get them to therapy so they will adapt the best way they can. OP is doing his damn duty as a father. If the mother was truly wanting the best for her kids, maybe don't commit a felony??? And accept that the kids need to thrive and for her to get her damn crap together

[@lightwork11]

Story 2: There are some good reasons for OP to move away. In a small town, the wife's actions will not be forgotten. Children hear everything and understand more than we realize. OP's children would hear about what their mother did it even years after they start school. It's best to protect them from this as best as OP can because children can be cruel and judgmental. OP's children should be protected from this, they are innocent. The temporary separation of mother and children are a consequence of the mother's actions.

[@SilentDecepticon]

Last story: The mother is being very selfish in wanting the OP to move back with their sons. She has to know that the sons are being bullied and excluded by everyone because of her. She should want the best for them, which includes not living in the shadow of her actions. And who knows, things might improve for her and she may likely be able to move closer in the future.

[@TsukiKageTora]

I hate plea deals for this very reason. The plea deal should never be a thing for people who ruin people’s lives without a second thought or a conscience when doing it. She deserves 15-25 years in prison just the same as a person who murdered someone for the first time doesn’t get a plea deal or gets one but still gets years in prison

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Murderers get plea deals too. It sucks. This girl I knew from school died from a hit and run because the absolute scumbag that hit her took off and left her to die on the side of the road. She would have lived if she stopped and called for help. She was 26. The bitch only got 5 years and I'm still SO ANGRY

[@draconicfeline6177]

People get jailed for lesser crimes, why not her?

[@ALTAIR2]

Story 2 is a oldie but a good one

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm still gobsmacked that he was voted TA. The AITA subreddit is a total Mommy Cult, and there's no question in my mind that had OP been the mother and not the dad, they'd have unanimously supported the decision to move.

[@tylerpatrick3511]

A father would be called a deadbeat on story 2 if they didnt pay their child support. Another consequence to her actions is that OP needed a better job to afford therapy and to take better care of their children. If the mother thought about what is best for her children and not whats best for her maybe she wouldnt be in this mess.

[@trashotaku]

“But she’s their mother” She also committed a serious felony that is having direct and indirect negative consequences on her ex-MIL, ex-husband, and sons

[@Lisapizzza]

In story 2 when OP said his kids don't get invited to birthday parties I really felt that as someone who has experienced something similar. I was lucky that at some point a new scapegoat moved into the area.

[@LokisWitch]

Last story: NTA 1000% she did it to her self. She lied, she stolid. She got off light She is a bad mother in the end hands down. Why? Saying she did it for them was a copout. She did it for herself. OP did the right thing.

[@kimmurphy6621]

Story 2- NTA. Most people against it said "she's their mother" as if that's a good enough reason for all of them to suffer for her actions. I'm curious if roles were reversed what people would say then.

[@avencree]

I love the comment saying the mother in the second story “paid her debt to society” when 1) No, she didn’t. She got a ridiculously reduced sentence be it was her first offense, and 2) The victim of her crime is still suffering from said crime and will probably continue to suffer from the crime for many many years. The mom did this to herself and she has no one to blame. The sons will resent OP? Ok, but they’ll probably end up absolutely hating the mother for defrauding their grandmother for some designer clothes and causing to whole mess to begin with. And if people believe the kids should never be told are the exact kind if people who don’t want to take responsibility for their horrible actions. It doesn’t matter if she’s a good mom. A good mom wouldn’t jeopardize their family’s well being for selfish reasons.

[@misamisaa4547]

1st story: years ago I had a crush (or what I thought was a crush, lately I'm questioning if I'm really bi/pan or just conditioned to also like guys...) on a guy in my friend group. After he rejected me, he texted my bestie to make sure I was ok & they ended up chatting a lot. Like a month or two later my friend realised she liked the guy. Ya know what was the first thing she did? She talked to me about it. Only after I told her I understood & encouraged her to ask him out, she told him. It's been years and they're still together & we're all still good friends. If you like someone you know your friend also likes/has liked before, talk with the friend first before telling the crush how you feel

[@rsmith6425]

I had strong feelings for a friend who was with a long term girlfriend and you know what I did? Didn't say a damn word about it! Knew them for 5 years and didn't say anything, in fact when he was thinking about breaking up with her I was incredibly careful not to say anything that would be biased towards them breaking up, I just listened to him. Because I wouldn't do that to him, to her or to myself, incredibly disrespectful, a good way to lose your friend and a horrible way to start a relationship in the slim chance he did leave her for me.

[@j_hi]

Story 2, I'd be terrified the ex wife would open up accounts in her childrens' names and mess up their credit

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Even if OP didn't realize he was fully gay, if he still identified as Bisexual, he'd still be Bisexual while also being engaged to a man. Just a nitpick, but yeah that mom sounds like a Just no mother and soon she'll be a just no Mil.

[@groofromtheup5719]

She is probably just has a case of grand baby rabies.

[@nellwhite7581]

Story 2 mom gets braclets and perp walked in a small town where her children are being shunned because of mom. op made all the best moves for his chidren and himself. he is NTA. the quicker fraud mom figures out it is nobodys fault but hers the better for her and her boys

[@katiesmith2031]

Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8 much love 🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 thank you broken I will try just brought a Xbox one and the controller doesn't work so got to wait 12 days for a new one. Hope you are having a wonderful day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 oh no that sucks, but have fun with it🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 I will when I can finally play with it 🤣🤣🤣

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 yeah true lol 🤗🤗💜💜

[@jamielegacy2366]

heartbreaking that people think that breaking the law means someone doesn't deserve compassion. my heart breaks for that mother and her spiteful ex. the least he could do is drive them to visit more often

[@anonymouslee2083]

Story 2: I don’t think the people who made YTA comments have any clue how much damage the mother did to her kids’ social lives. If they didn’t move, all they would be to that town is “your mom’s a thief.” They were outcasts, and growing up with that kind of baggage would fuck them up. The father moving the kids away from that situation gave them a chance to start over and have a healthy social life with new friends who wouldn’t ostracize them over the theft scandal which, as OP pointed out, made the news in their hometown. OP’s ex needs to understand the damage she did, beyond ruining her ex-MIL’s life financially. I fully think OP should ask for contempt charges on the child support and send her back to jail, because she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson!

[@Love2Banime]

Last story: how is OP TA? He did not know his wife was a theif. He wasn't trying to keep the kids away from their mother, he was keeping them away from learning her bad influences. He never even requested child-support from his ex. She may have been SAHM, but it was not right she decided to steal just to go on a shopping spree instead of asking OP for some money if she needed something. Or, for the least, she could've done a side hustle if she needs income.

[@mykus_aurellius]

Last story, OP is absolutely doing the right thing. All the pros (OP's better job and pay, access to therapy, better schools, moving away from a town where their mother's crime could cause them to be ostracized) far outweighs the one con (separation from their mother). She has to pay for her crimes and to those in the comments that say she has paid her debt and OP is punishing her further, you're totally wrong and need a lesson in the CJS. She is on probation, she is still paying her debt. That's why she can't move to OP's new state. Here kids should not be punished for her crimes. OP is absolutely NTA.

[@gamexpert1990]

Story 2: NTA. If the kids' mother was willing to commit credit fraud using a family member's identity (in-laws or not), then it could very easily turn her into something like another story you recently covered - the mother/ex-wife eventually using her kids to commit student loan fraud and buying a boat, or something along those lines.

[@lina9535]

I always find it funny when people try to defend themselves with "I can't control my feelings". While that is true, that's also not the issue. You can't help how you feel, BUT you CAN decide on how to act on them. Like you can feel something for your friends bf, but you can also be a decent person and a good friend and NOT say anything about it.

[@matthewfoley1875]

Story 1: OPs mother can only affect his engagement if he let her. He needs to shut this talk of meeting a girl down right away instead of saying "we'll talk later". Saying that kinda thing only tells his fiance that she has some sort of grip on OP still and/or that OP does want to meet that girl.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Your ex wife wasn’t thinking of her children when she was stealing…go to new job and make a great life for you and the kids. And I would demand the child support from her, put it in an account for the kids college.

[@RatTailSoup4]

in story 2, I love how all the yta comments ignore the fact that he ISN'T cutting her off. he would be continuing visitation, he would even be happy to get shared custody when she gets what she needs to do done!

[@AhamkaraMommy]

Story 2: For all the "YTA"; Keep in mind a court of law judged this and decided the mother's supervised visits. for all the "NTA"; People can change, he stated her motive was her kids which at the very least suggests she believes in what she thinks is best for them.

[@flamin.hot.cheeto]

Second Story: As somebody who experienced the aftermath of their parents going through a “traumatic” divorce, NTA. I understand that OP’s ex was a good mother to their children, but a move seems beneficial to these children. I was moved very far from one of my parents which sucked awfully because neither of them committed a crime. But honestly, OP’s ex did something truly horrible. I don’t think this situation is as black and white as the YTA voters paint it out to be, especially after seeing the edits.

[@mariabarker2036]

In what way was she a good mother? By committing financial infidelity? By trying to destroy her son's grandma (and coming damn close to succeeding)? By putting financial strain on her husband? By exploding her family unit? By selfishly demanding her sons stay in a place where they are being harmed, with no available counseling, with a more bleak future? By choosing to commit federal crimes for no reason? Which of these is on the checklist of "good" mothering?

[@flamin.hot.cheeto]

@@mariabarker2036 chill out, I’m going off OP’s personal description of his ex-wife 😬. it’s literally not deep, bud.

[@e.w9641]

the second story of story one is so upsetting to me and I know how hurtful it can be since my mom once also brought up that since I was bi I could also end up with a man (I'm a woman) and when she said that my heart sunk. I'm not in any relationship now, but I will be forever afraid that if I ever do come home with a woman my parents would treat her differently, or if I come home with a man they would be relieved, which I also don't want.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

2:19 - OP should join a group that focuses around something he's interested (sports, community theater, nature hikes, whatever) and try to make some new friends. Okay, it will take a while before a new friend becomes a best friend, but it's still better than pining for his old friend who he doesn't really trust anymore.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

story 2: that man is playing a dangerous games with his kids' lives. When you push a parent like that, you don't know what they'll do. In my town a few years ago we had a guy who was being kept from his child and then next time he saw her he did a mourder / soiucide

[@deliriouswhitewolf818]

The last story NTA, the mother did this to herself she tore apart her family for material goods and ended her relationship with her community, husband, his family and her kids. Like OP said her actions have ostracized the kids from the community and their lives are now unstable in that area. Moving to offer them a fresh start, better education, therapy, and needed funds is more important then someone's feelings. Just because someone can do the dirty and make some kids doesn't mean they deserve them. I hate the people who are all about moms as if the dad isn't doing his best in the wake of all the pain and turmoil just because he's the dad. There is consequences to your actions.

[@JustAnotherBuckyLover]

I genuinely cannot understand why so many people said YTA on that last one. He's not stopping them from having a relationship. That's clear. The fact that SHE broke up their marriage, SHE went to jail, SHE stole 30 grand in her MIL's name and ruined HER credit and stability, and she did this for YEARS. Why should HE stay in a small town where everyone avoids him and the kids are going to be known as the ones with the thief of a mother, when he can take them to a place for a clean start, a better paying job so he can get proper therapy and support for them ALL, AND support his mother when needed, AND he's not only NOT telling the court that she's failing to pay her mandated child support but he's actively offering to help with her getting permission to move too? I do NOT understand people. Jesus.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 🤗🤗💜💜thanks m8 much love

[@denisefulks8283]

@Broken_queer_but_fighting I am wishing you lots of hugs and happiness.💗💗💗💗

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Don't forget to take care of yourself too.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@denisefulks8283 awww thanks so much m8 you as well 💜💜🤗🤗

[@jshplock]

As someone who has had their ID stolen and credit ruined because of it I think everyone who commits that crime deserve to lose everything they hold dear and important and experience immense suffering regardless of their parental status.

[@beege4491]

Last story. OP should not move back and is NTA. First, the wife brought this on herself. Second, OP is right, small towns are brutal and the kids would be punished for their mom's crimes. They were already being shunned. Those of you who think this would go away after a while have never lived in a small town. Third, he's giving them a better future with his better job, counseling, and better schools. Fourth, he's doing everything in his power to keep her in the boys lives and to help her. She is very lucky to not be spending the next 15 years in prison. She really should be. If someone did that to me and only wound up serving 9 months, I would be livid. I don't care its a first offence. $30000 deserved significant prison time.

[@gcarr1089]

Last story OP did the right thing the kids happiness is the number one priority. Had his ex not done what she did she wouldn't be in this mess.

[@fluidwolf]

The father is moving the kids to a place with a new job due to them being alienated by the community because their mom committed credit card fraud against her mother in law. Keeping them there is actually harmful for them due to that. Keeping them in a place they are being alienated in due to their mothers criminal actions just because their mother is there is idiotic. The mother chose to destroy the family through her criminal greed and the father then chose to help the kids get a new start and grow up in a place that won't judge them for their moms actions. Kids aren't automatically traumatized for life because they don't have a mom at home all the time and it's not like they would never see her again.

[@TsukiKageTora]

You can’t handle how you feel. But you can handle how you go about it. If you’re in love with a friend’s SO: The good friend way is ignore the feelings, don’t confess and go to therapy to try to get over the feelings. The bad friend way is not ignore the feelings and confess and try to gaslight your friend and say “I can’t help my feelings”. Why choose to hurt your friend??

[@Wolvesbane39]

I don't think the people commenting on the last story actually understood what was going on in that story. Like they're strait up vilifying OP for making a hard choice. They re claiming he's being nothing but vindictive and didn't take into account ANY of the reasons he gave. Like wtf? OP's ex is a criminal that has destroyed their family and for some reason he's the AH???? He was got a better job that had better benefits for his kids and his kids wouldn't be shunned by their small town.

[@mindyschocolate]

S2: OP should move. The YTA people are nuts. She chose crime over her own kids and what’s best for them.

[@toxicdotaep2890]

cannot relate to everyone calling the last OP the asshole. dude said his kids were being ostracized for what their mom did. as a kid who grew up bullied and ostracized that shit fucks up a kid so bad. bad enough they were losing their mom to the consequences of her own actions. I'm also disgusted by people practically acting like the woman did no wrong because ~shes a mom~ so she deserves to, what, still be around the kids she put in danger by getting in legal trouble? maybe they're not in America and I'm being too American here but jesus fuck man the cops tend to kill people LMAO fucking hell. if she didnt want to lose her kids, she shouldve never done the awful things she did. op is just trying to do what's right for his kids.

[@Digitalfairy]

I agree.

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 2- YTA. When your kids are older they will not take kindly why you moved away from mom.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Him moving the kids was the best decision for them, now they won't be bullied, they won't be pariahs, he will be able to help his mom and kids. She will just have to work harder.