My Best Friend Claims She Had An Affair With My Boyfriend But Something Isn't Right r/Relationships

[@Lordofthelosers01]

Story 1: OP's friend either was interested in her boyfriend, wanted drama or wanted OP to be single. But like the comments have said OP should drop the "friend".

[@s1os2s3]

It is in line with female narcisist memo.

[@ElleD308]

Women keep women single

[@lickindoorknobs]

😊

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Yep. Odds are most women friendships will have one horrible person that is jealous of what their friends have, be it a job, house, kids or spouse. Even the body. And they’ll try to sabotage their friends life to bring them down

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@Catherine.Dorian. Yeah. I'm starting to notice a pattern here. There's always that one friend who just can't be happy for anyone. And they're always the ones who end up alone and miserable.

[@HaliaStone]

When I read stuff like the first story, people honestly baffle me. I’d get it if she couldn’t stand her friend happy when she wasn’t and faked it using a ‘mystery woman’ but by saying she’s the other woman, she’s gonna find herself out of a friend.

[@ScandalizeMyName]

I think she thought she was a talented manipulator. She thought she could manipulate her friend into believing her and breaking up with him. Then she would try to manipulate OP with crocodile tears, endless apologies, some mild groveling and lies about how she was taken advantage of too. All while lamenting about the end of their lifelong friendship over some boy who used them both. By employing the sunk cost fallacy, she thinks she can get her friend back. She really thought she was smarter than every person involved. So much so that she didn't even bother to fact check dates and times that could easily disprove her accusations. She really overestimated herself. She's actually a great example of the Dunning Kreuger Effect...

[@renatatarnawski5974]

And NOT Soon Enough!!

[@catsncrows]

I'm not going to directly call her a narcissist but they do tend to think they are smarter than everyone and they're really bad at forseeing consequences

[@nicholerubes2959]

I read history and people baffle me. I think at least we change. Then I hear stories like this...nevermind

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

I honestly wonder if Kim is having some kind of mental health crisis. She may truly believe the affair was happening.

[@NemFX]

Story one: "Well, now that we're both single, and she's talked bad about you to everyone, guess you're stuck with me." .. that's the girl's logic.

[@littlesongbird4566]

That's not even girl logic, that's just vindictive stupidity. When Op questioned her about how the dates didn't line up and she got offended saying "I can't believe you don't trust me". Lady your literally saying you had an affair with my boyfriend why would I trust you. Honestly people like Op's "friend" are so annoying.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Last story sounds like the husband is starting to suffer from caregiver burnout. That can be very dangerous. OP and husband need to have a calm conversation and get help. A family member or hired help to take the pressure off both of them, medical check-up for OP on that wound and maybe a few sessions of therapy of them both to get perspective back. Good luck.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I had a feeling this would be a jealousy story. Misery loves company after all. 😒 OP was right to get to the bottom of this and I'm so glad she got rid of that fake friend. The Bonus? She has a even better relationship with her future in-laws than the good one she has already. 😊

[@Italktocarrots]

you took the words out of my mouth! my ex best friend tried to break up my bf and i after she broke up with hers, misery does love company it seems! screwed me up nice and good too!

[@kaydwessie296]

I'm glad she solved this logically, cause while I HATE cheaters, I hate false allegations even more!!

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

@@kaydwessie296same because false allegations like this end up diminishing the real accusations from partners that have actually been cheated on and give those cheaters who are better liars than OP’s ex friend ammunition to say “it’s a lie just like this”

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@Italktocarrots Sorry to hear that. It's really sad that people like OP's former friend and your former friend try to ruin other people's happiness, just because they can't find it themselves. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)

[@meghanmckenzie5273]

Either Kim is in love with Mike or she is in love with the OP and wants the couple to break up.

[@noydb-1]

Or she's in love with herself, and can't stand it when someone else's world doesn't revolve around her. Her need to show them all that she was right was her downfall, since she gave easy to disprove "facts".

[@ElleD308]

More like she either wants her single friend back so they can go bar hunting or she's bitter and lonely, therefore can't stand her friend is happily in love with a good man.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@ElleD308 Yeah. It's probably that. In any case, OP was right to cut ties with that fake friend. She doesn't need a miserable black hole like her in her life.

[@rachaeledge9719]

“i don’t think i would ever presume i’m a part of someone’s event, regardless of who i am to them, without being asked first” someone tell me why the first thought i had was someone asking mark “why tf aren’t you getting ready for the cake tasting” and him being like “WELL I DIDNT WANNA OVERSTEP” and the other person just exasperatedly shouting “YOURE THE GROOM” 🤣😭💀

[@angelizdaboss]

For the first story, i think op friend lied like that was because she was jealous and mad that OP didn’t agree with her raising suspicions. Maybe she wanted them to break up by sneaking in potential suspicions so she could swoop in. And when bringing up potential suspicions didn’t work she made up a story. So she could be like see i told you he was a cheater.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: FFS, let people do their own weddings their own way!

[@debl3063]

the fact that the moms complained about it should tell OP she made the right choice. They would have been all over her to do some bigger traditional thing. Good on her.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

It sounds like OP and her husband need to put their mothers in a time out.

[@Janjones7735]

The people saying the moms are entitled to share their opinions are sooo wrong. No one deserves to have anyone hear their opinions. The moms were such AHs. It’s the sort of thing you commiserate with your friends about but do not tell your kids.

[@c.b.h1151]

My mum and MIL acted the same way when my husband and I said we were eloping (we hate attention, and boths mums are narcissistic drunks, his mum was vile to mine, just couldn'tbe bothered to deal with their pathetic drama), his mum even said "But what about MY big wedding?". She was mad she wouldn't get to be the centre of attention "as the Grooms mother".

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

@@c.b.h1151 I hope you went through with the elopement and had the wedding you both wanted.

[@TheNicolevertone]

I have had a friend whose jealousy and lies destroyed our relationship. I never got direct closure from her, and it drove me crazy for a while, but I realized a few things: one, it will never play out in a satisfying way in reality because she has never and will never take responsibility for her actions; and 2, her actions were so hurtful, hateful, and horrendously petty that I had to walk away. There are no reasons that are ever going to excuse that, so it ultimately doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm not letting someone do that again.

[@bethb4432]

I’ve had 2 c-sections and my first thought to the last story was that it does NOT take a month to recover. I was doing most things normally after about two weeks and I have a low pain tolerance. I agree with the nurse who said she’s milking it.

[@winternova1454]

From the way the story is going sounds like the friend is jealous and just cause she’s your friend dosent mean they won’t back stab you it happens all the time it’s sad and fucked up

[@rogerrabbit80]

You can only be betrayed by someone you trust. Either the friend was worried about 'losing' OP, or she wanted to hook up with OP's boyfriend.

[@owl7072]

Every time I hear "friend was cheated on" I automatically know the reasons why they lie about partner's cheating in stories like this. Either she likes Mike or she's unilaterally decided that if she can't be in a relationship then Op can't either

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 3: if you're feeling that bad a month after your c-section then you need to go back to your doctor because something is wrong. I've had 2,one emergency and one planned, you should be able to be up much sooner than a month.

[@DerekScottBland]

Well whoop-di-fucking-do for you! Not everyone is the same.

[@sirenblack]

You would be surprised on how many doctors will pretty much eye roll and not listen when women say they are still in pain

[@terramarini6880]

I was up and about immediately, my mom came to visit day after and was gob smacked to see me striding down the hallway, hubby did hire help for the older sibling and heavy lifting but I did everything else while hubby did a butt ton of overtime he needed to do. Helper got to buy a state of the art satellite system, I healed well and fast and hubby was a hero at work... win, win, win

[@soogymoogi]

​@@sirenblackthat's true but it's still worth making the minimum effort to check in with the dr, their nurses or PA over the phone.

[@murielrossi9761]

She is still on pain, it's not because all went well for you that you need to base your experience as the norm. I also had 2 c-sections and the first was hectic but I recovered in due time. The second however was extremely painful and it took me twice the time to recover.

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - I also think a simple low-key surprise wedding is seriously cool. All the stories about all these elaborate preparations feel over the top and, quite frankly, expensive. Given the fact that I am a pensioner and on social security my whole life, cost is huge issue I would have. If I had any marriage prospects (frankly with my suburban hermit nature and social awkwardness when it comes to men, I don't consider it likely), I would be looking at the idea of a backyard wedding and family potluck reception. In fact the idea of a family-catered wedding is one I have encountered before, back in my teens, when a wedding was conducted by a second cousin of mine at my childhood church.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

My brother had a lovely low key church wedding and a cookout afterwards. Everyone brought a dish and Mum & I made a cake. Kids ran wild in the park and the adults sat around chatting. Loved it. Ten years, two sets of twins and they're grand!

[@Lillireify]

My husband and I decided to skip everything and everyone and we eloped - and it is a treasured memory of mine. Nobody was there to make us stressed, uncomfortable or pressured. Just us, and our best friends as witnesses. I'd do that again in a heartbeat and nobody would be able to change my mind. 😊

[@Flakey101]

@@Lillireify I think Op did herself a huge favour by doing this way as well. I am sure moms in the story would spend ages trying to drag her to wedding dress shops so they could have their imput, and not be satisfied with "ohh I spent 20 mins online and found the one I want" and then going for a big church wedding.

[@babybookworm003]

This is also a surprise wedding done correctly as both bride at groom were on board with it

[@Lillireify]

@@Flakey101 absolutely!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Enjoying a beer while listening to Mark's smooth, velvety, mellow voice. Life is good.

[@PrimateProductions]

Though Mark is my favorite and I really enjoy his voice I certainly woukd not describe it as velvety and likely not smooth or mellow either.😏

[@AndyyWithAY]

Your "friend" is cuckoo bananas. When someone accuses your man/woman of cheating you better doubt that 💩 if you have no suspicions. Get the receipts and let the evidence speak for itself, but never blindly believe a so-called friend when you trust your lover. I think the "friend" is mentally unwell and lonely, I don't think she necessarily wants the BF. She's jealous but I don't know if she wants the BF or OP.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

I feel like this is why it can be a risk going to Reddit with relationship issues. There are a lot of people on there projecting their own past relationships who will say to divorce/leave even if there is zero evidence.

[@ronhall5395]

I would never trust reddit advice. Get ideas sure, but they don't know half of the story even. Many ate broken people who want you to break up. They honestly think that is always the right choice. It seldom is. In this case there was zero proof just her word and some WhatsApp sort of conversations. She did the right thing. She worked to verify her friends story, which was 100% fiction. Not sure of friends motivation. The best she could hope for was to.break them up, and none of them ever talk to her again. Maybe she just didn't care. She didnt like OP having a good relationship.

[@kltil5082]

Why would you doubt it when the vast majority of the time a friend tells someone they know someone is cheating they're telling you for a good reason? This person happened to be lying (not that we even know that for sure), but that doesn't stop this from being an exception to the rule.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@kltil5082 WTF? WTAF?! Why would YOU be in a relationship with someone when you have so little trust in them that you blindly believe someone else when your partner had given zero reason to doubt them?! I'm honestly baffled and appalled by this take. I pity any current or future partners you may have.

[@ScooterBond1970]

I wonder if the friend's own break up maybe has colored her view of men as "they all cheat!" I'm reminded of the story Mark did a while back where a woman convinced her 'friend' with post partum depression that her husband was cheating (which ended with the wife unaliving herself). Sometimes a nasty break up will cause a person to irrationally lash out at their ex's entire category, "All men are cheaters!" "All women are [horse]!" Maybe that's what's wrong with the friend here.

[@sophied9294]

2nd story: my mum lost it at me the day before my wedding for, amongst other things, this reason. But the difference was I DID bring her dress shopping, AND my husband and I changed our original wedding plans (elopement) so she could be there. The thought of planning a wedding made me was to curl in a ball and die, so I outsourced everything. Both mums are selfish. It's not their wedding. They can be disappointed, but they're rude af to make a big deal over it

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #1: You keep asking what friend's End game was. You're assuming she had any plan past, "I have to break them up". In her mind that WAS the end game, Guy would be gone and she's have her friend's full attention again, OR guy would be free and she could make HER move now. BUT there was NEVER any more consideration to the aftermath than what SHE wanted. What OTHER people wanted, Their feelings, their issues never entered into it because it was ALWAYS about HER and her alone. Everyone else is just a supporting caste in HER story. She never thought past "When I succeed" and she never considered "What if I fail?" It's the planning and forethought of a CHILD.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

It was a cute graduation for my granddaughter today. They grow up so fast. Luv to all and thank for all the Luke's this morning. ❤️ Now I can relax , luv your accent, luv your story telling and your comments are bang on!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Aw congrats to her

[@bloonh8tr619]

Late upload? Don't mind if I do. Thanks for the late waffle Mark!

[@Swnsasy]

Story 2: If I was invited and found out it was a wedding, I would cry MORE!! So beautiful and amazing.. Nta.. The mom's just showed they would have made you boths wedding all about them... I freaking love it... My grams used that same thing, "NO, no, we don't have tradition, we have a do what you type life."

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I HATE surprise weddings. I was invited to a "late lunch" twice on days I was working doing manual labor and needed to get back to work right after the "late lunch". I told them what I was wearing ( shorts, t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and work boots), they said that is fine, don't worry about it. I did wash up quite a bit but you could tell I had been sweating previously in my clothes and they were dirty. I got there both times and BAM, guess what??? It's a surprise wedding. Others are dressed in suits or collared shirts, polo shirts, etc. I only work at the construction sites a few times a week but EVERYONE knows what I look like when I do and it ain't pretty. I was P*SSED. Then they got mad when I stood outside of the door in the backroom because I wasn't going to get into any "wedding pictures" looking like I did. They could have at least gave me a heads up and said the "late lunch" was kind of "formal" so I could have brought other clothes with me that day.

[@Swnsasy]

@@thomasjoseph5876 From what you described, that doesn't sound like a SURPRISE wedding.. You're invited to come eat lunch at a restaurant, you get their and others have on suits, nice polo's etc.. Are you saying the place they asked you for lunch at was the Olive Garden type or $250 per couple type? I mean your story doesn't make much sense at all! You wrote this happened to you twice and they KNEW what job you work, they KNEW what clothing you wore to work yet you didn't object coming to a restaurant wearing that which leads me to believe it wasn't even any place nice.. That is why your story doesn't make sense unless they had a wedding at the Olive Garden type restaurant?? Yea, not buying it.. What restaurant allows an ENTIRE WEDDING to happen on their premises? If you're talking about the US, then that makes you an even bigger liar OR, it was NOT a surprise wedding, it was only to you! Then, that makes it horrible too because that means they told EVERYONE else except you... If your story is true, I would go find new friends and family because it's OBVIOUS they don't think that highly of you and that breaks my heart for you...

[@SailorMya]

Yea, the fact that they were more upset about not getting to plan THEIR dream wedding for their kids and not just pure happiness for the wedding they had is proof that they would have spent all those months making the couples life hell to get their "vision"!

[@SailorMya]

@@thomasjoseph5876 I don't think the "surprise wedding" is the problem in your story... The people who invited you knew what you look like when you work and they were okay with that fact because they just wanted YOU there but instead you sulk outside the restaurant ruining the mood because YOU think you will mess up wedding shots!? Dude, they wouldn't have invited you at all or would have given you a heads up if they thought how you dress/look would ruin anything... Seems to me that YOU are the one making all the issues in your story because how you dress for work when they had no problem with it... "EVERYONE knows what I look like when I do and it ain't pretty" Exactly!!! They KNOW this and didn't care as long as YOU were there! Being surrounded by the people you care about is what "surprise wedding" is about not how people who show up look. Sounds like you were embarrassed to show up to a nice restaurant in your work cloths when everyone else was dressed for a nice meal...

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@SailorMya I guess I forgot to mention some of the weird looks I got as well as several people coming up to me asking why I didn't wear something...... nicer. I also found it ironic that out of the 40-50 people there, at least 1/4 of them knew about the "surprise" wedding ahead of time. But hey, I appreciate you telling me all about something I was at from people that I knew when you weren't there and have never met any of them. Thanks for that awesome insight. Maybe you can tell me all about my inlaws too. Even though you don't know them, you have seen them on the movie screen so I'm sure after my only being married to my wife for 10 years you probably know much more about them then I do.

[@jimfahey2329]

Last story, the poor guy is probably ready to go back to work for a "break." Also, she didn't seem too bedridden to skip her spa day!

[@skyelindsey687]

My understanding is the spa day was right before the c section. But she shouldn’t be bed ridden at all and she most definitely didn’t pull a stitch because by 1 month the stitches have been dissolved/removed for 2 weeks.

[@kiaboss9945]

STORY 3: I know you aren't going like this but surgeons ALWAYS recommend getting up and moving as SOON AS POSSIBLE AFTER SURGERY.. it helps the healing process by something like 79% better recovery time than doing nothing ...my 9 year had her appendix BURST and they were making her walk around less than 10 hours later, Same with removing my Gallbladder...it SEEMS cruel but cuts risk of infection and other complications greatly.!! She Ripped a stitch or 2 the first day and they said they knew it seems mean but studies have found that it DOES help you heal faster. It DOES NOT FEEL GOOD

[@champblaze]

Same for me with my gallbladder. Though when I a big cyst removed just above my butt. I couldn't without a walker from a month due to its size and pushing on my nerves.

[@jp8649]

This. I was forced up the day after my spinal fusion. It's normal.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Yup, it also greatly decreases the risk of stroke after surgery.

[@brandyb2931]

I have had 3 cesareans, they definitely have you up and walking. Also, stitches from a cesarean dissolve agter 10 days tops. She didn't stretch her stitches leaning over a month later. Women who have been through this like me, know she is milking this. There is zero reason for her to be bedridden over a month later.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

@@brandyb2931 maybe a presentation of PPD?

[@paul-georgjordan2650]

There are two typs of Tradition: 1) are answers to problems, where we forgot what the problem was 2) peer pressure from dead people and we most find out which is which

[@averycheesypotato]

Sometimes the problems no longer exist, so 1 can turn into 2 also

[@suehamilton269]

NAH for your surprise wedding. You are not required to live your life in such a way that you never disappoint anyone. If they are disappointed, it is their responsibility to resolve their emotions. Congratulations on what sounds like a wonderful wedding.

[@nicknitro86]

She SHOULD feel like shit for doing this to him. ---- "I ordered him food to cook for me. Happy Father's day."

[@WildArmACF]

she could have ordered nice food from a local place but dialing numbers is too hard *rolls eyes*

[@listener709]

​@@WildArmACF not only that she could help with the baby in bed plenty of viable positions to breastfeed in bed plus baby bonding with her is a neat bonus

[@4BWVan]

LAST STORY: The mom made ZERO effort to give DH a break. ZERO. She easily could have gotten a babysitter and ordered a fancy dinner on Doordash, FROM BED, and she just didn't.

[@nondisclosure3920]

What cemented it from me was the comment from the Nurse saying op was milking it.

[@flavialm1]

Not really, I have a 7 month old from a C-section, at 30 days I was so mentally exhausted that I couldn't even answer people's questions, my mind would go blank the minute I could stop speaking, I couldn't solve issues or planed anything, for someone in the outside is obvious but when you are in that situation even the smallest thing or obvious ones became huge. It only started to get better after 2 months.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@flavialm1but here’s the thing, she stated she couldn’t do anything due to the c section which was just proven false by someone that gives those instructions multiple times a day. As OP states it it sounds like a routine c section which means her stitches or stables are already dissolved/out. She CAN do stuff to help her husband around the house. She’s CHOOSING not to. And you probably weren’t sprawled across the bed going woe is me as your baby daddy did all the work of raising the children and getting the house clean.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

@@flavialm1 OP was mentally okay enough to make a long Reddit post a bout her situation, meaning she was okay enough to order a nice dinner and hire a babysitter.

[@americasteam2112]

@@nondisclosure3920nurses and doctors alway shut down women’s health concerns. Many women have died or have issues will become chronic because health care workers don’t take them seriously.

[@TheOddityFair]

Wedding Story ~ NTA. I’ve seen people that had grand weddings with all the bells & whistles, & people who were just like, “We’re getting married in the barn. It’s a potluck, bring brownies.” It’s whatever suits the couple. The moms didn’t get what they wanted & are upset, but that shouldn’t matter as long as their kids are happy. They’ll get over it.

[@tiffinyhunter5901]

Story 2--Im a hardass. My mom knows me well. She'd probably try to stop the MIL from saying annything to me as my response would be 'do you want to know about the grandkids at all? If so MYOB.' A wedding is for the bride and groom. Others there are because they chose to share it. People want too much to grab onto other's experiences for themselves and its selfish.

[@emcustard]

Story 3: I just want to know why OP didn't look into either of their parents taking the kids or getting a babysitter like DH mentioned.

[@WildArmACF]

Heck she could have hired a caretaker to just help out around the house

[@skyelindsey687]

@@WildArmACFor ordered steaks precooked from a restaurant using her phone instead of ordering ones her husband still had to cook.

[@TheSergio1021]

Or ordering I dont know, cooked food? As opposed to steaks that he would have to cook, because of course she only thinks to give him more work

[@helema23]

the idea of a suprise wedding makes me smile, they did it their way and the moms can kick rocks.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Agreed! I would've had a surprise wedding too if my husband was on board. They sound like fun!

[@onurkneezb]

Story 3: Mark left out the commenter that called out OP for not even ordering her husband hot food. Yes, she ordered him uncooked steaks for him to cook himself on father's day...

[@skyelindsey687]

Not just himself but also her and their children. Instead of using that same amount of money and ordering DoorDash from a steakhouse

[@MrsHyde1018]

Least she could’ve done was offer to cook them. 🤡 it’s Father’s Day, wtf?

[@TheSergio1021]

Yeah no, she's just lazy. If she is feeling pain, its because she's not moving for days on end so the healing cant speed up.

[@noemiemi7213]

Story 3 and others like it always make me think how little we take fathers’ mental well-being and life-family balance into consideration, as much as we do mothers’. Just because involved dads end up being a lower percentage than moms on average, it doesn’t mean that the involved dads who pull their weight in the house and family balance shouldn’t be considered in need for personal time alone, a treat once in a while and support to keep themselves afloat mentally. I’m seeing this in my household, I was the one that suffered the earliest and more openly from ppd, other mental issues caused by baby coming in our life, phisical issues… but my husband is closely following and even though he avoids opening up about himself (he’s just like that) I can see he is feeling more and more tired and defeated by the grind of parenthood. I hope op’s husband gets not only some overdue rest, but to look for mental health help if he feels it could be of use. And I don’t know exactly about op’s situation phisically but months of bedrest and doing nothing at all for active recovery seem to me like a sure way to losing mobility and strength long time 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Musiyca]

It's not "months". The baby is only 1 motnh old. Singular month. She says she's in pain and I don't think she would be really milking it as people try to claim, but rather she follows doctor's instruction. We need to give women more grace about it, both post delivery and during mentruation - just let them slow down as much as they need. They have 2 older kids as well. Husband having a breakdown after a SILGULAR MONTH of caring for all the kids and house is not on. That suggests to me he didn't do much before this that's why he can't handle the load. Accusing OP for not giving him a day off is also aweful. Might have as well arrange something himself with family members.

[@meganhall8290]

It's not doing g everything for a month.....it's doing while sleep deprived.

[@onyxdragon1179]

​​@@Musiycand you conventiently forget that a nurse in the comments told it's no excuse to do *nothing* at all! That the only thing she shouldn't be doing is lifting anything heavier than her baby, but can do other chores instead of just lying in bed all day! Not only that, but you try to reach to a conclusion where the husband is lazy or something, but can't even imagine her trying to milk her situation? Wow, double standards much? Smh

[@onyxdragon1179]

​@@Musiycaand you also seem to underestimate how long and tiring a singular month can be when you're the one having to do everything around the house while taking care of people's needs. When my grandfather was bed-ridden there wasn't just one person taking care of all his needs. My mom, aunts and uncles set up a schedule and everyone had to chip in on taking care of him. Nothing was left to a singular person for more than one day because they knew it was a major disruption to their lives and because people get really, really tired when having to take care of others for long periods of time. OP could have done the bare minimum for just one day, and called someone to take care of the kids so her husband could have father's day off. He did it for her when it was mother's day, why couldn't she?

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@onyxdragon1179 and the nurse conveniently forgets that everyone is different when it comes to recovery

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#2. Sounds like the best kind of wedding. Quiet, low key and it didn't break the bank.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

Point where the dad couldn't even cook his own space on Father's day but had to eat cold pizza I think he was justified in feeling upset.

[@spanky814]

One of my best friends did one of those surprise weddings. It was beautiful and fun. Some people didn't even really dress up, we did fireworks, it was great. The only person who complained was her kind of somewhat emotionally abusive mom, but she was easily soothed over by letting her plan her own bachelorette party afterwards.

[@sarahjaneuldricks6729]

Imagine having your kid do their dream wedding and you get salty that you didn't have a say in what they did. Let's be real, that was the real issue.

[@rickraber1249]

True that. BUT - as a mom (I'm Mrs. Rick), and having 2 daughters who both eloped, you really DO miss out on the fun, the helping, the traditions. Having said that, I never gave my kids one single word of grief over their choices. Their dad and I got married the way we wanted, and took no crap from anyone over our choice either.

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

​@@rickraber1249It's perfectly fine to be upset about it tbf! As long as you're quiet about it, I can def understand.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Totally. It also sounds something like "I didn't have a chance to make you rack up a huge debt for a 1-day party, so I could appease my sense of tradition I got from peer pressure/TV."

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

That girl wanted the BF for herself or didn’t want to be the only single one. She’s definitely off her rocker. The Father’s Day one was frustrating. She could’ve called someone like my mom always did.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's late AF there, what are you still doing up Mark?? 🤣🤣 I hope you are well though. Taking a break from rewatching the O.C. to watch the vid, still need to eat dinner.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Have a good dinner 🤗🤗💜💜

[@chasefrost1401]

The wedding story, the moms can get over themselves. It's not avout them no matter how much they wanted it to be. That's selfish.

[@amberaseltine3012]

If they want to. Tell the moms to plan a wedding they want them to have and pay for it. We are only involved with invite. So when you make the invite and say the wedding that moms wants. They get what they want you don't do nothing but act, and everyone know it's because of them.

[@WildArmACF]

​@@amberaseltine3012once the moms have to pay for it, that wedding will never happen lol

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: "They pulled us aside to say how disappointed they were in us. That we had taken away their opportunity to be with us when we chose a venue, did wedding planning stuff." Nope NTA. This was a joint decision on both OP & her husband. They didn't want a big wedding & all the bells & whistles that come along with it. The moms get NO SAY. "we'd taken away THEIR opportunity"?!?!??! Yea, not their wedding.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

If the moms feel that strongly about it, they could just marry each other so they can have the wedding of their dreams. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@TheSergio1021]

You guys are overreacting way more than the moms are. Women love weddings, and love planning them. It's a life event they want to take part in. That's all. They can feel disappointed, and OP can say "yeah we didnt know it meant that much to you but understand that it was how we wanted it, and thank you for being there." That would have gone a long way

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

@@TheSergio1021 "women love weddings, and love planning them" Generalizing much? As a woman I can tell you I hate planning dinner parties let alone to plan a wedding. All that stress that goes into it. Yea no thanks. As for loving weddings... in the 5 I've been to between the ages of 19 to 31, I've truly enjoyed 2 of them.

[@jennilynne1977]

Chilling out listening to Mark. Love his voice and accent. I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@Cheri8795]

I have so many questions about the last story. Did she have planned C-sections for the first two kids? Was the pregnancy planned? What did she pick up off the floor that hurt her so bad she couldn't do anything? Also why hasn't she been able to do anything for the first month and has she talked to her doctor about it? I had an emergency C-section and ya it frickin hurts, but my husband only had a weeks vacation so even though he did everything he could for me I still was up every 2-3 hours breastfeeding and changing our son from the time we left the hospital. People on Reddit always talk about PPD, but nobody even mentioned it or anything in the comments. I just wonder if this is completely out of character for OP and if so maybe there is more going on than her just being inconsiderate. Obviously if there isn't a medical condition or PPD then I'd say ya she's the AH. Take care everyone and have a great day/night!✨🌸✨

[@laurenjohnson4566]

Thank you, this! It's been a month, and only a month. Hindsight is 20/20, the husband apologized for his outburst. They are both exhausted, and exhaustion means you don't think straight. She's the butthead for not asking what he wanted. He's the butthead for not telling her what he wanted. They are in the thick of it: hormones, pain, hopefully doc helping her recovery, and adjusting to 3 kids now. Everyone needs a break, and calling in a babysitter or family will help them rest and I hope he can forgive and they do better in the future 😊

[@marychoppins8140]

Your videos are the highlight of my day. Hope you’re well. ❤️

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: Just tell the mothers that they are lucky OP and husband didn't elope.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

Tell both Mothers the fact they are complaining after the fact is exactly the reason you didn't plan a wedding. You planned an engagement party and just decided to turn it into your wedding. Proof- done, stress free.

[@ugaladh]

@@thecoolgrandma7208 Yeah, it wasn't the mums' wedding. The only problem I see with doing this is there is another story where a couple did the "Engagement party-turned-into-wedding thing. then the bride went ballistic because a female guest wore white when no one knew they were getting married.

[@carolroberts4614]

I think that NAH was wrong! The wedding is over, they all had a good time, why rain on their parade by complaining? Spoiling their memory of a lovely occasion over picking out a dress and stuff!

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

@@carolroberts4614 I agree, the mothers sound controlling and are using guilt trips as a power play. Didn't do the wedding like WE wanted? We'll shit on the memory of your special day!

[@55north74]

@@carolroberts4614 I disagree. The parents waited until everything was done and their kids got their special day. It's a perfectly okay adult conversation to have where they expressed their disappointment in not getting to experience certain things they would have found meaningful and that they were a little hurt, and then they moved on; that's how adults should communicate. And the kids have every right to have done their wedding that way and aren't the asshole for how they decided they wanted to do it. There are NAH, just adults who wanted different things.

[@coreymartin6486]

Story 3- there were many things she could have done for him without ever leaving the bed. Have in-laws take the kids for a few days, have friends babysit for an afternoon, ordered him a theater ticket, order a special cake to be delivered, order something through Amazon, etc..... Father's day doesn't randomly show up. She knew he was exhausted and doesn't sound like she attempted to do anything. It even sounds like she wasn't even the one to order pizza for dinner. THEN she made his breakdown about herself with the tears and "woe is me".....which doesnt fly to me given of her lack of planning and effort.

[@robertx8020]

This I would call her either dumb, selfish or having zero empathy! If the roles were reversed (hate to use it) ppl would tell her to leave him!

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

So what makes it so the Husband couldn't call his parents or in laws or friends? Have you considered they don't have any friends who had time off, or both sets of parents where busy, or are dead, or neither one have a relationship with the parents because the parents weren't very good people? Not everyone is so lucky to have a support system like that and since no friends or family was mention its probbaly because they don't have those options. I wanna know why neither of them have hired someone to come help out some.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@Splatoon_Kirby have you considered that people don't typically buy their own gifts for days celebrating them? Or have you not considered that an overburdened caring spouse generally doesn't want to bother other people and sometimes it takes the other spouse to take action? If the sexes were reversed there would be a huge outcry.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@Splatoon_Kirby she couldn't even buy him dinner without him cooking it for himself. Lol 😆

[@TheChosen141]

@@Splatoon_Kirbyso we just spinning on the man again, somehow? My goodness accountability is non existent nowadays.

[@rickraber1249]

#1: OP's friend has a screw loose. She must not have thought through that she'd be losing OP's friendship by "confessing", or else she just wanted to make mischief. Whichever, she's a vicious, toxic piece of work. No loss there. Story #2: and this is Mrs. Rick talking. We decided to get married on about a 10 day notice, and threw together a very quick, low-key, low-budget wedding. (We were broke!) Church ceremony, borrowed dress, pot-luck reception. You find out who your friends are in those circumstances, and our friends donated a gorgeous hand-made 3 tier cake, food, serving ware, etc. It was beautiful, and we were ecstatic. A month or so later at the female part of a family gathering, my mom-in-law who I truly love, told me & the other gals that she had had our wedding all planned out - when it would be, who would make the bridesmaid dresses, where it would be, etc. (Bridesmaids?? We each had one witness stand up with us.) I calmly stated that that sounded absolutely lovely, but that we got married exactly the way we wanted to, and were perfectly happy with it. And that was the last time the topic ever came up. That was over 37 yrs. ago.

[@shybiscket]

Story1. If OP and her former best friend are part of a friend group OP needs to publicly tell the group what she did. She's probably done it before and will do so later. Story 3. She aggravated her incision, nobody besides her knows what level of pain she's in, and the suggestion of sending the kids away on fathers day is the antithesis of what the day is about.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I agree. Everyone is different when it comes to recovering from surgery, and maybe OP is having a more difficult time this go around. She's only 1 month postpartum, so not only is she still sore, but her hormones are probably through the roof. That said, reaching out to family or hiring a sitter so they both have time to themselves is a good idea.

[@lilolmecj]

Regarding #3, our friends had an emergency CSection for twins, the babies were quite early and in NICU for 32 and 35 days. The mother, after discharge was at the hospital for six hours each day, as well as the father, and went home to share care for a three year old in the evening. The grandmother was on hand to care for the three year old during the day. This mother is milking it for all it is worth! She was sore from having to bend over and pick something up from the floor the previous day! Sometimes I think the whole mothers and Father’s Day thing gets overdone, but she is taking advantage. If she is truly not malingering she needs to be seen by her doctor because she’s not recovering properly. Remember, twenty years ago fathers did not get but a couple of days off after a baby was born.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Heard story 3 over on XO yes OP is YTA, as one Redditor pointed out, she managed to get on the internet to post this but couldn't call antone, even a sitter to help?

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 3- there have been a few stories on Reddit of dads who have been on the verge of a breakdown due to burnout. This dad is dangerously close to the same fate and OP didn't even apologise. YTA.

[@GiordanDiodato]

because she's had a c-section

[@Ospyro3em]

@@GiordanDiodato having a c-section doesn't render her incapable of apologising or phoning for a takeaway or babysitter.

[@JR-zi4bj]

Final Story - I hope we see a follow-up to this one in future... OP ITA; not just for everything the other comments pointed out, but especially for her reaction when her husband started breaking down. Only an a****** would force him to get up again to deal with the crying baby while he was breaking down, or tell him to calm down instead of showing him any empathy. Worst of all, she had the audacity to start crying, thus making everything about her and her feelings, and no doubt adding to his burden and stress. Op clearly has a good husband and an amazing father for a partner, it's gross that she takes him for granted and treats him like this. I hope she listens to Reddits advice and judgment before it's too late.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Father’s Day dad is justified in feeling like his wife is a prick.

[@des1279]

Story 1: in my opinion, the mothers who assume they’ll be part of the wedding planning or push what they’d like so much are the ones who let THEIR mother and/or MIL make choices for their wedding when they got married. It’s like they didn’t stand up for themselves or pick stuff then, so they think their child is their redo wedding. Just something I noticed from hearing lots of wedding stories of the mother/MIL trying to take over planning and making choices the couple does not like. It’s kinda sad, but the cycle has to end sometime.

[@mariecole9948]

Story 2: My mom has always said that she hopes I elope, instead of having a big wedding. It’s a running joke that I’d be a massive bridezilla due to how my brain works with certain circumstances and situations.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 3 yta like op said he's losing weight from stress. She could have ordered take out so he wouldn't even need to cook. She has some serious making up to do.

[@northernexe880]

Honestly she easily could have organised a day off ask family to kae the baby for a day which seems what he truly needs a day to catch up on sleep or have some fun to help his mental state and health.

[@Bleg94]

3. Story: YTA it is not hard to get a baby sitter as a help for one day, she said she wasn't able to plan anything because she is bedridden? that is a reason to plan something, not a reason to not plan something getting a sitter, writing his family/friends and having them help a bit is not exactly hard if it is "he has the whole day off" also 30 days after an operation? she is malingering or has severe issues that should be adressed in a hospital

[@northernexe880]

Even if she was bedridden is was able to make a post she easily could have organised things from her phone

[@rf159a]

Story 2: I agree with you Mark 1000%. I liked the wedding too👍👍👍

[@oldwoman5942]

My friend called my boyfriend at my house during dinner to ask him out on a date and he went! She said she was lonely so called him. Then she expected me to babysit her kids! I had been going to college during the day while my two oldest were in school and my two youngest were at daycare then feeding and caring for her three kids, two school aged and a toddler while she worked night shifts. I did this for free. I hope the date was worth losing her free babysitter and friend. They only lasted a couple of weeks and he had the gall to show up expecting to pickup where we left off…no way no how! I heard later that he was also dating another woman at the same time and had a short lived marriage with her.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Wow, sounds like you dodged a bullet!

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S2- I looked up the type of dress op described, I looked it up and fell in love so beautiful, good taste

[@KatieC1020]

I had 3 c sections. 2 of them 11 months apart, she is definitely the AH. She is using it as a full blown excuse to do nothing.

[@ThatsViews]

Watching today's episode from my Liverpool office, overlooking the back of the Liver Building!

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

Regarding the wedding - I understand being disappointed. We all have ideas about our kids and their futures. However I think that disappointment should have been kept to themselves. Our kids don’t owe us certain experiences. We need to learn to enjoy and appreciate the experiences we do share. Granted, it’s not easy to come to terms with this sometimes, but it’s a lesson well worth learning for our own peace of mind.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with you. It's ok to be disappointed, but in the end, it's about the newlyweds and their happiness! ❤

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Yeah, if all the moms told them was 'it was such a surprise, I am a little sad I missed out in helping you two plan it!' rather then this vibe of 'you ripped this opportunity from me how could you' the moms got going.

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

@@Splatoon_Kirby I agree. A gentle, "that made me a little sad" is okay, but then the Mom's need to let it go.

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

@@Splatoon_Kirby I agree, a gentle, "that made me sad" is okay, but then the Moms need to let it go and not guilt trip.

[@Fenrislokisonsuncut]

The first story really pissed me off cause the issue could’ve been solved immediately the same night without leaving the house if she just checked the phone number on the profile

[@browniewin4121]

1) "With friends like that ... " What an awful person to do this, what did she think was going to happen when she tells OP this and there was proof to the opposite. Why? What is her end game? She has pretty strange logic, "How can you not trust me? ... from the person who claims to be cheating with OP's boyfriend." OP should go NC. After update: It's good OP was able to verify without having to cause any issue. Just block that awful person, I doubt OP would ever get a satisfactory answer as to why. 2) It sounds like a nice way to do this since OP and her husband did not want a big or traditional wedding. Their wedding and their choice. NTA. The mothers can feel disappointed that they didn't get to do things they assumed they would, but shame on them for being so selfish as to criticize after the fact and try to guilt the couple. 3) I think OP should have planned for something for Father's Day like he did for her, like hire a sitter or send the kids somewhere else at least part of the day, that is something she could have done. Also, she is being way too immobile this long after her surgery and should be up and around much more. YTA.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Goodnight form Texas! Finishing dinner up and then to relax a bit before bed

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Have a good dinner 🤗🤗💜💜

[@glitchsteph]

Story 3- I dont doubt OPs pain. Not everyone heals at the same rate. HOWEVER, a sitter, ordering hot food (why in the world would you buys steaks for HIM TO COOK?? More work??), you could stay home and bring someone over to help you and book him something outside, called his friends to hang grab a beer. There is so many options and you chose the absolute worst ones.

[@kristys7172]

Poor baby, the father got to experience what moms do 24/7/365!

[@skyelindsey687]

If that’s you then you need to find a new man. In the case of this man he needs to find a new woman. There’s no way she could’ve pulled a stitch at 1 month postpartum because the stitches are gone by 2 weeks. And if she can use her phone to order raw steaks and post this Reddit story then she certainly can get up off her a**, like every doctor recommends to post surgery patients, and help around the house. Or bare minimum use the phone she ordered the steaks on and wrote the post on to determine a redo day that works with their friends or relatives that they trust with their kids. But all that would actually require effort on OP’s part and she much prefers to play the helpless victim.

[@ArethaVGuedes]

Story 2: I did something similar and fifteen years later, my mom sometimes still complain. I said that we will do a big party like a weeding on the 20's anniversary, but I doubt I would care to do something like that when the date arrive.

[@kathryngutierrez5967]

Forty years ago this coming August, we did a similar thing. After my husband and I became engaged, everyone started telling us all the things we HAD to have/HAD to do. We decided to get married the next Saturday, three days later. My husband picked-up 2 of our friends for a lunch date, the rest of our guests were immediate family. We had our wedding on our terms.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 2 - glad OP did the surprise wedding. Had OP told the mums they would have stressed OP out trying to get her to do the wedding their way. Last. Story - husband has seen what life is like for every single mum out there that don't have any support. OP should have given him time off from the kids every day not just on father's day. It would have been easy to have a movie hour once a day ( there is always 1 movie the kids will watch again and again lol), but like most mums dad would have used that time to play catch-up on anything else that needed doing.

[@Zm0r]

He could've organized that shit himself. Calling the parents or having a babysitter or, idk, fucking TALKING to his wife, telling her he needs a break for a day or two. Women can do the same thing. Some people just dont want to give themselves a break and then they complain. boo fucking hoo

[@nightengalenorth6881]

@@Zm0r thing is, he shouldn't have had to. she still should have. She knows exactly what he's been doing for the last *30* days. As the OB nurse comment said, she should have still been able to do some easy tasks, like call a babysitter. Men do this all the time for Mother's day. She sounded like an unempathetic and selfish woman. I hope she figures out how badly she messed up before she finds herself a single mother to those three kids.

[@Zm0r]

​@@nightengalenorth6881 She should've realized, yes, maybe she is a bitch, we don't know. Maybe she just got cought up in all that, without realizing how much it affected the husband, or maybe she honestly thought that he doesnt mind it that much... Ridiculous, i know, but meh, i've met people more delusional than that. It all comes down to the one that has it tough. He should've said something.

[@apopuffkin1717]

@@nightengalenorth6881 I don't understand having a third child when the other 2 can't even stay out of trouble and amuse themselves for an hour.

[@saje239]

@@Zm0rThe point of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is to show the person you care and value their contribution.

[@singingwordwright148]

Story 3: Speaking as a mother who had a c-section, unless something went drastically wrong, there is no way OP should be bedridden weeks after the operation. My c-section wasn't even planned (it happened after 6 days of stalling labor and 3 hours of intense pushing with no progress) I was walking the maternity ward hallway the next day. For a couple days I didn't get him out of the bassinet just to be sure I was steady on my feet when picking him up, but beyond that? There was nothing about caring for him or the home that I couldn't do within a week after the operation. Of course, I ended up sitting with him nursing 20-22 hours a day- (no, I'm not exaggerating, I thought I was going to grow roots, and I pretty much didn't sleep for five weeks until he had enough head control for side-lying nursing because I had to be sitting up to nurse him or he wouldn't sleep) because that's what he felt he needed to do to thrive, so I didn't get much done in the way of housework, but I was still perfectly capable. OP is malingering, or left out information as to why she's so traumatized by the c-section.

[@diarradunlap9337]

Malingering is what she's doing .

[@davidmccurdy8911]

If she is on bed rest from the doc then I think it didn't go as smoothly as normal. I have seen the 2 extremes from different friends. One was recommended to be up and walking within 48 hours and do almost everything normally, the other wan't released from hospital for a fortnight and even then was almost unable to help themselves never mind the baby so I tihnk that bit of the story may be missing. However as everyone pointed out, they are not the only 2 people in the world and they could have gotten someone else to help for the day so still the YTA. Also he is on the point of break down and her responses were crying and asking "what could I do" making herself the victim

[@UsiUsiUsi]

Well, I ask myself who did take care of the kids before? Is she milking it bc it was all she did before and therefore it would be very understandable. Otherwise she was told to bedrest and how her body reacts to even slight stretch I would say she doesn’t milk it. When her life was 364 days like his now I totally would understand the little empathy she has for him now.

[@Musiyca]

@@UsiUsiUsi Yes, that was the direction I see this story from. Husband lashed out a lot while OP is still in pain. While it would be lovely for OP to plan relaxing Father's Day for him, he very well could have arranged something himself, no? Accusing OP for milking it is another thing, similar how society is accusing women of faking and milking their menstruation pain :) People forget that when you're in pain and your body isn't well, you can't really focus on anything else but only on getting better, getting through the day. New baby is 1 month old. Husband is doing it for only a month and already is having a breakdown? Yeah, OP didn't say about their family dinamic before this baby nor what the doctor adviced after the c-section, but I think yours and mine lookout on it is more spot on. That before it was OP doing it all hence she can't sympathise while being in physical pain herself.

[@Flakey101]

@@davidmccurdy8911 She is not on bed rest from the doctors, it literally says that in her second sentance.

[@ivorynk752]

"She seemed really hurt I didn't trust her" you either betrayed OP by sleeping with her BF or you betrayed her by lying to her and trying to break her up, however this ends you aren't trustworthy

[@vaporean_boylove.0w083]

I'm now thinking that the friend looked hurt cause she saw OP didn't have the further reaction she wanted. Like breaking up with her BF on the spot.

[@hypocrite4318]

the husband is totally right to be frustrated but YES his needs are ABSOLUTELY at the bottom of the totum pole right now no question and that's how it should be kids always come first and your recoving spouses needs to recover before they can truly pick up the slack !! wife did not do anywhere near the bare minimum in this situation tho.

[@skyelindsey687]

Thing is she should’ve been up and moving about by day 3 at latest and stitches dissolve after 10 days, 14 max. She’s lying about pulling a stitch. I doubt she’s in as much pain as she claims and is probably milking it until her husband reaches beyond his breaking point. And even then both of their mental health is supposed to be on equal footing throughout the entire relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decides it’s better to be a single dad than married to a woman that cries about having to actually get up and be a mother to their 1 month old.

[@jonmendelson1104]

I'm guessing the name for the first story is Mike and Vike. There's a candy in the US called Mike and Ikes and there was a joke that I first heard in Archer (though I wouldn't be surprised if it was elsewhere first since it's fairly obvious) where Archer says "painkillers mixed with candy. I call them Mike and Vikes." (Vikes short for Vicodin).

[@Musiyca]

Story 2: Why are the mothers making it about themselves? It was OP getting married. I wouldn't count that as a wedding even - getting married and then having dinner with family is what happened. Mothers are being upset for not being involved, but there was literally nothing to be involved with. Unless they want to be involved in the marriage somehow. OP could maybe write them a courtesy letter along the lines "I'm disappointed you're making my marriage and wedding about yourself. If you stopped and think and me and hubby you would come to realization that this is exactly us, it all suited our needs and aesthetic. Sorry for not informing you of our decision, but in the light of father's sudden passing we just wanted to finally sign the contract so we don't loose any other relative before your dream big wedding nor do we suddenly loose each other. You have right to be upset, but bringing it up to me and making it about yourself is inapproperiate and disappointing that you can't be happy for us". Like, mothers need to get reality check. OP is NTA

[@sfsin3380]

Because they're Guestzilla's who wanted to make the wedding about them and are mad they couldn't. I guarantee that had OP gone the traditional route they would have screamed Bridezilla every time OP/husband had wanted something they didn't like. (because regardless of what the groom says these people always blame the bride)

[@mogulmade]

Story 2: Why are women like this? They both have already had their own weddings! I'm glad Op did it THEIR way.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I'm guessing they either believed that they would have a big role in planning this wedding and/or wanted to run the whole show or didn't get the weddings they want and are trying to live through their children.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I think they were looking forward to organising without having the stress of it being their own wedding.

[@Grace_x68]

Unfair to say women. Just some women. Both my MIL and mother destroyed my wedding. I hated them for this. I told my daughter that she must ask me what she needs from me and that I won't interfere in her wedding otherwise. She did ask me to help her with some of the stuff and we had a blast. She had a small wedding as well, only 30 people including the photographer. Was the best wedding I ever attended. Her MIL was not so nice about the rule of "I'll ask if need be"

[@eleethtahgra7182]

10:37 its "misery loves company". It comes in many form. Either its 1. Cause u to distrust SO 2. Cause SO to distrust u 3. Cause/persuade u to cheat 4. Cause/persuade SO to cheat 5. Etc.

[@A_LadyBugs_Way]

Story 3 Huge YTA.

[@HC_Productions_UK]

My sister messaged the family group saying she was getting married in a few days and we were all invited to a party at her house at 4pm on the day. The wedding party included her, her new husband, her Mum and her Husbands Mum, her two kids.. thats it! At the party there were close to 50 people and it was brilliant! Too late to buy gifts so everyone gave them money (they already had a house etc) It was just after lockdown. My sister is a Rockstar!

[@jessicamarsh9779]

18:01 That’s not normal. I’ve had 5 C-Sections. I was up walking around & moving around within 2 hours of being cut open. They encourage you to get up and move around. The only major restrictions they put on you is the weight limit you can pick up. It’s usually 10lbs or your baby (which ever weights more, so your limit is 10lbs but your okay to lift your baby if they weight 11lbs).

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

That crazy story Kim told about him sleeping at her house when he was actually at his girlfriends the entire time really blows this whole thing up

[@Bourguit]

Mark: I hope it’s ok, I’m going to use that in my book: Traditions are the peer pressure of dead people

[@mztweety1374]

If my daughter wanted a small wedding which she probably will, I’d be thrilled. It would save us thousands and our tastes are pretty different.

[@ugaladh]

Had to LOL at "traditions are just peer pressure from dead people",

[@greendiamondglow]

The way I see it, the only motuve for the "friend" was jealousy. She either wanted what OP had, or she wanted OP (not necessarily romantically, but also not NOT necessarily romantically).

[@michamocha]

Story 1: I think it was jealousy but not in the "I'm single and you should be too" way. If it was, wouldn't she make up a different woman as the affair partner so she could play hero who caught his betrayal? Like, what was her end goal here and what was she expecting to happen? I think her aim was for the boyfriend because the other way just doesn't make sense.

[@kittyfox7]

I feel sorry for the father doing all the work and his wife just doesn’t even think about doing something nice for him. She could hace tried harder.

[@jacearmor5274]

Story 3- YTA. She could sit down and type out this whole post, but couldn't get a babysitter or call a family member.

[@destinedtogame]

Man!! My insomnia is grateful to you

[@happyzahn8031]

wedding: I was wondering why they were having a party, a fancy one at that, for their engagement. Different strokes, I guess. When it turned into a wedding, that was a great stroke of genius. As for the moms, low-key voicing their dissapointment, its fine with me - just communicating what they were thinking. Much of our communication is after the fact anyway. It gives the family another point of bonding and expressing how they all support each other. As far as the on-the-edge father, he could have set something up also. If its really a month, then she might need to see the doctor to get serious about healing. I guess some people get all crazy about a day labeled 'mothers day' or 'fathers day' but they can seriously do something on any other day they choose. It does get a bit hairy when the kids are always needing something and everyone's tolerance for stress is different but they should try to see what ways each of them (the parents) need nurturing and try to effect it.

[@khughes9574]

S1: Maybe "Kim' is a pathological liar. Maybe Kim is trying to beat OP out because she's jealous of OP. Ultimately she's shown OP she can't be trust so it's best to stay away from Kim. (Good book to read that I didn't write: "The Sociopath Next Door". It doesn't tell you how to create boundaries with sociopaths, but it does describe them in non-clinical terms.)

[@janejones7638]

People sometimes like to ruin their friend's happiness out of jealousy. This people aren't real friends to anyone.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

2: well this is the first surprise wedding I heard where it turned out ok because it's obvious the mothers would have walked all over them and controlled everything

[@ellorasg4525]

Good morning. This is fun to wake up to lol

[@theschnauz2138]

Story 2: As a mum of 2 adult daughters, I would be thrilled if they did their weddings this way! Weddings are out of control. I feel like it’s not about the love and celebration but about a commercial fantasy. $50,000 on a wedding or $50,000 towards their future?

[@Hammyroxz666]

Am I the only one wanting to know what the emerald green wedding dress looked like cause damn it sounds like it was damn gorgeous

[@dorianleakey]

"i also sleep while holding him tightly" well thats convenient, and uncomfortable.

[@jessicaholland1903]

With my 4th baby I had an emergency CSection and a blood transfusion this was after a month of being in hospital (all during lockdown so no one was allowed to visit) yet I still managed to help organise the children goin to ppls houses as my SO had to work .... plus make sure everyone had food for the children (this may not count as it was on line shopping to the individual houses) .... and then when I came home and was still on bed rest for a week (due to blood loss etc) I still helped with the kids as much as I could (this generally meant they came and sat with me to chill so not too much really) plus I kept the baby with me at all times .... what I'm trying to say is I don't understand y this woman isn't doin more unless obviously it's more than just a CSECTION issue ..... plus like the OB nurse in the comments the more I started to move the better I felt .... this woman is taking the rest to the extreme and I don't no y, we need way more info on her injuries ..... plus y isn't the baby with her surly they need bond