Told Fiancee Her Academic And Work Related Failures Are A Product Of Her Choices r/Relationships

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Story 1 update: she still cant take accountability, jesus. Bet it'll be OP's fault when her friend realises how toxic she is and kicks her out and OP doesn't take her back.

[@DrownedInExile]

Good riddance to her. But this relationship was always on her terms, what Her Majesty said, goes. OP needs to work on himself. And he cannot be afraid to pick a fight with his g/f.

[@juliearmfield2634]

I got a gut feeling she had someone on the side and she's just trying to twist it around so she doesn't look like the bad guy. She agreed to that break up way too quick

[@Davtwan]

Considering both her sister and parents are on OP’s side, I imagine this will happen sooner rather than later. This is especially because it sounds like she wants social attention at almost every waking hour.

[@rebeccaabram2312]

@@Davtwan This! The fact that as soon as her sister and parents told her "He's got a point" or "He's right you know..." She IMMEDIATELY fled to a 'friends' house who just re-inforced her belief that she wasn't at fault

[@snake5solid]

@@juliearmfield2634 It might be. I had a feeling that she wanted to end this relationship for a while considering how fast she was to agree to break up. Even if she doesn't have someone now, she sounds like the type who might cheat in the future.

[@kpeggs82]

She’s only 29!!! Seriously? It’s not that she does have her crap together, she doesn’t take accountability. When is she going to learn that if she hasn’t in the last 30 years????

[@carlrood4457]

That comment ENTIRELY missed the point of the post. Yes, people can find ways to change and excel later in life. However, this was about a person who failed and still takes no responsibility for her choices. OP: I tried to get you to study. GF: You didn't try hard enough to get me to study. The only shame is he didn't see the signs earlier.

[@AndyyWithAY]

She wants to have it both ways-- if he helps her financially he's using that to lord over and be superior, but it's also his fault she's suffered every misfortune. WTAF. I'm so glad he dumped her.

[@lynnw7155]

I'm not sure in what ways they are compatible. Sounds like they don't mesh on some of the most important aspects of life.

[@fandomfan2800]

hope she ruins his life

[@Mkay999]

He is through. There’s a reason she felt like that he isn’t being gracious about it. He sounded incredibly condescending and we can alllllll tell he thought he was better than her. She also wants to blame others. 2 things can be right at the same time.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@Mkay999 Name even one way he wasn't "gracious"

[@DrownedInExile]

@@Mkay999 He accomplished his goals, earns a good salary. She just wasted her time partying, and has everyone but herself to blame. He IS better than her. That's just an empirical fact.

[@seyeshittu3297]

Story 1: that girlfriend was more trouble than she's worth. Good riddance.

[@AleksandarBradaric]

Story 1: Phew...Dude saved himself from being cheated on and an expensive divorce...People like her are just....

[@melikeskalico3812]

S she is trxtbook about to cheat if not already xD

[@anwarpine6797]

She sounds like she is setting herself up to be one of those perpetual victims, exhausting

[@DrownedInExile]

I guarantee she already had another boy-toy lined up. No way a party-girl airhead like that could stand being alone for more than 5 mins.

[@juliearmfield2634]

​@@melikeskalico3812as quickly as she agreed to the break up my money is she's already cheating

[@ElleD308]

This!! The whole post sounds like a manipulative drama so OP supports her while she keeps partying. And when OP finds out she's been cheating, that wasn't her fault either and OP is an asshole for making her feel like a bad person.

[@Mylittlestcorner]

Story 1: she literally just wanted to make him the bad guy and when he was too good of a person to paint that picture on, she got pissy and make bs accusations ("you neglect me!", "you support me too much!", "my parents not taking my side is your fault!")

[@kirasant]

Story 3: I loved how the independent career woman instantly whipped out tears when it served her. That was 100% a calculated move to make her husband defend her from the big bad MIL.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@bangeryun94]

DIL thought OP was a doormat because she didn't work. And the tears, big eye roll. Nicely done

[@MisterNightfish]

That's the problem with people like OP's ex. If she could see that all her problems are the consequences of her choices she wouldn't be stupid enough to consistently make bad choices. Now she doesn't like where she ended up but her ego can't handle being responsible so it's gotta be everyone else's fault. Good riddance to her and if OP is smart, he won't take her back when she inevitably comes crawling back.

[@jkosov2319]

I dont know this guy really needs therapy or he would take her back..

[@ElleD308]

😂🤣 You would be surprised how many people are warned about the consequences of their actions, don't care, still do them, and then cry when the bill comes up. Also, people with her mindset tend to cheat and it was other people who made her cheat, lie, and blame other people that they made her lie, etc. OP is an idiot if he stays with her

[@elizabethescalante8114]

Yep. She's definitely gonna use the victim mentality as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for her stupidity.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

I just hope he doesn't take her back, because she most certainly will. A chick just about to hit the wall, with no real prospects for her life? Yeah she's just gonna be pump 'n dump material out there lol

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

I agree, Op's lady sounds like a gnarly phoque of a hoarfrost. Good riddance.

[@ivyproductions7097]

A note to add for S2 that wasn’t addressed, OP and her partner have been together longer than her niblings have been alive. The eldest is 5 and they’ve been together for 6 years. Was OP ever prioritized in her relationship? I know they sorted it out and her partner distanced herself from her toxic sister but this really needs to be a longer conversation. Wishing them both the best

[@ElleD308]

I don't know... Every time she said that the girlfriend is extremely easy to manipulate, I think OP is the one super easy to manipulate. The gf is abusive, uses her as a caretaker, and many things and she only backpedal when OP told her she was out.

[@marshawargo7238]

I don't think gf is manipulating, I think that she only listens to whoever the last person who talked to her & that's all her memory holds. If she tries to make several ideas/conversations make sense for herself she can't. When it looked like OP was leaving she came back for a conversation & Agreed with Everything OP said. When with sister, she agrees with everything She says. I Think this girl can't make her own decisions! This relationship may well be over because as soon as she's with sister she'll agree with anything sis says. She might need a Different therapist! Misdiagnosis! 😢(Personal experience here)

[@ElleD308]

@@marshawargo7238 that would make sense but she's been treating her like crap every day and OP said she hadn't seen the sister in a while. Of course, she was going to agree with everything OP said 😂 her meal maker and caregiver were about to leave.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

OP needs to bolt and forget the sunk costs fallacy. Enough mental health issues to not be able to work? Do you really want 40 more years of that?

[@ILicoriceProductions]

​@@marshawargo7238 It sounds like she has BPD, and that's an unfortunate symptom of BPD. Your brain can only see people as all good or all bad, so you have to literally remind yourself when you're around people you've learned are "bad" that they're "bad" so you don't fall for whatever they're doing when they're buttering you up and acting nice.

[@michaelag6829]

3rd story it pisses me off to no end how people can be so opinionated and rude but if there is is any reply or slap back it is immediately the waterworks and playing the victim Disgusting

[@AndyyWithAY]

People like the first GF are exhausting. She sounds 10 years younger. At 30 this is so not cute. That commenter in support of her is probably an enabler of people in their life. Some people work very hard and can't get ahead, but she just sounds lazy with no drive. I wouldn't marry her. This sounds like a marriage forged in hell. It's one thing to try and not get ahead, it's another to constantly blame others. NTA

[@anthonygilmour6236]

No she sounds more like a spoiled 10 year old.

[@laica01]

they both sound insufferable to tell the truth, she doesn't take accountability and he sounds condescending, glad they break up, it will be good for both of them, or at least better for him than her.

[@diarradunlap9337]

He may SOUND condescending, but she actually IS lazy and REFUSES to take accountability for herself and her life.

[@xplayfan21]

He doesn't sound condescending to me what makes him condescending

[@bhart3321]

​@@xplayfan21To some women anyone holding them accountable is considered condescending, pick-me, controlling, or abusive.

[@EnDB]

Redditors, who love to hate mils, always claim missing info so they can still call them aholes without proof.

[@icdogg2361]

I have to say, my late mother-in-law was very sweet to me always and I miss her very much.

[@crem-crem4070]

JustNoMiL is exactly this Some of the MIL are bad but so many posts there are just a circle jerk of negativity

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 you need to break up and move out. This is completely unfair and ridiculous. Your expectations are completely reasonable. It's been SIX years? Run for the hills 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@ElleD308]

She's a caregiver and enabler, not a girlfriend.

[@techterror1282]

This is where you and Reddit tend to get this wrong. This is BPD. It is one of the most treatable personality disorders. He'll probably be fine, especially cuz she's already getting treatment.

[@ElleD308]

@@techterror1282 She's been already getting treatment for a while and still treats OP like shit. Life is too short to be the caregiver of an unappreciated asshole that treats you like an ATM and then tells you to better get used to it or you're selfish. Thanks but no thanks. Leave her 😂😂

[@sonialinsey8083]

@techterror1282 from the therapists I have worked with the consensus about BPD is “treatable” as in there are therapies that they can use. Treatable and curable are two very different things. I once had a therapist sigh and tell me “most of them won’t get better” so it’s not even like I’m finding this information on the internet. And by worked with I mean I used to work at a major psych ward with in and outpatient services and I asked curiously because my mom has BPD.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op needs therapy of her own because she has no self-respect. She has spent six years taking care of a woman with nothing that would indicate they were a couple. " I don't think she's using me for my money" It's far worse, Op is wasting her life taking care of a woman who is in no position to be in a relationship.

[@ISIIN15]

Also I look forward to hearing about her son's divorce and story 3. They're both very young and she sounds just absolutely miserable to be around

[@Lillireify]

They'll either divorce or go NC with in-laws. I hope it's the former.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@BNezzy]

sounds like a Feminist with a capital F lol

[@sergeipohkerova7211]

Op: makes stern, TRUE remarks, ONCE, but apologizes enormously afterward when he shouldn't Partner: attacks other people relentlessly and unjustly for years, and never apologizes even once, even perfunctorily, when she should . 🙄

[@ToxicSunrise132]

I've found the people with the sharpest tongues are often the ones with the thinnest skins.

[@MrNemitri]

Spot the narcissist!

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Probably due to all the comments on his original post brainwashing him into thinking he was in the wrong.

[@ineedhoez]

Narc alert!!!

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64 She definitely has him wrapped around her finger. They have a perfect Narccisist/Doormat relationship.

[@stellamccoy5259]

If my son allowed his wife to disrespect me like OPs dil did, they would both be out. Why do people always think there has to be more to a story? Sometimes, it is what it is.

[@sakatababa]

not always, just when it doesn't make sense. right off the bat, there is no mention of what the son thinks. if i was op, i would not even hassle with dil, i would be angry with my son. there are several oddly placed phrases and onesided interactions that leave me pretty sure this isn't how it happened. this story has no verisimilitude. what we do have looks like few excerpts from a battle of a trophy matriarch versus a domineering boss-babe. and that concludes to nah (if you are an anarchist like me) or esh (most likely conclusion for most, i suppose).

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@AndyyWithAY]

Last story you told her right. It's not the husband's money, it's their household funds and it has nothing to do with DIL. Somewhere along the way son went very wrong to disrespect his mother like this and choose such a partner. OP has probably touched so many lives volunteering and that's priceless. Her and her husband decided on her being a SAHM, it worked for them DIL needs to STFU

[@iamalbertwesker2]

Probably manipulating OP's son into isolation.

[@tully6648]

"It's not the husband's money, it's their household funds and it has nothing to do with DIL." Right on. OP and her husband agreed to the arrangement, and if she's a good homemaker, then her contribution is time and effort that translates into her husband being able to do his best to work and live. She gave that to her children as well, and then switched over to giving some of that time to the community around her. Society needs people like OP, and their hours of dedication shouldn't be dismissed just because it doesn't put money in the bank.

[@catherinecox573]

And then she cried when OP pushed back??? Who tf talks like that to the person making you dinner anyway?! You trash talk the chef, you don't eat here. I thought that was common sense 🙄

[@jedimasters1462]

I'm wanting to hear the DIL's side of the story. Something is telling me that the op is leaving a lot out to make herself 100% the victim. The son's reaction makes me curious as to what has been left out.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@catherinecox573 That too. But more like you trash talk the chef, you get POISONED. Dark humor aside, my mother always told me NEVER piss off restaurant workers because they'll spit in your food or do God knows what else to it.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 2: Girlfriend has made it clear she doesn't value or respect OP. And that not only will her family always come first, but that they will be allowed to walk over their relationship however they want. After the update, I'm really not sure if that fixes anything. It doesn't take back the things that were said and that situations like this could happen again. I hope things work out, but I can't say I'd be willing to look past some of the things said, manipulated or not.

[@LoveableNiki]

Truly. GF realized that her meal ticket was leaving and fell in line. Good luck to OP.

[@Naadeneo]

He has low self esteem

[@mihalybalint8969]

S3: There are *some* high earning and ambitious women who think that they all should work their way up to high earning jobs just to show it to the world that they can. This is all good, and nobody should have a problem with that. The problem starts when these women see a housewife/homemaker living a happy and fulfilled life, they lose their shit because how dare a woman not be conforming to their ideal.

[@cuzican1902]

That bothers me as well. A woman who chooses to be a housewife should not be looked down upon a woman who chooses the work life.

[@sergeipohkerova7211]

​​@@cuzican1902true. Every human, whatever their gender, is entitled to pursue joy and happiness their own way, so long as they're not doing something illegal. Some people want to be astronauts, others want to work at the bowling alley. To each their own. *edited to add* and also, one profession or life goal is NOT necessarily more valuable or better than the next.

[@user-blob]

There’s an equal amount of SAHMs who look down on other women who don’t choose their same lifestyle. Females can be dicks and I’m continually ashamed of them.

[@merrick1588]

@@sergeipohkerova7211 Astronauts and bowling alley attendants, this is a Simpsons reference right?

[@truthseeker9249]

It's difficult for me to hold down a job. I have Autism. My brain doesn't work like everyone else's and there are lots of things I just don't understand. I struggled a lot in school which is why I knew I was better off not going to college. I knew my family would hate me more for going to college and failing out than just not going. I decided to start working right out of high school. But no job ever wants to pay employees well at least where I'm from. I move from job to job trying to work my way up to where I'm making the amount of money I need to be making to take care of myself. But businesses are greedy and they have no respect for people who are different. I was bullied out of my most recent job and I refuse to work a job that toxic ever again. Like OP I love volunteering and I have things I'm passionate about but finding and keeping a good job is almost impossible. So let people like this b*tch daughter-in-law sit up on their high horses looking down at "losers" like us who don't work or who work bottom of the barrel jobs. They're just completely blind to the world around them and how much most of us are suffering in the work force. Some people don't want to work and given everything I just said I can't entirely blame those people (depending on what their reasons are). And some people like me do want to work and are doing the very best they can but just can't catch a break. This b*tch could stand to have a little more empathy. As it is I've often considered stripping just to make ends meet because this economy and the workforce is so cruel. If I keep up my streak of bad luck I may have to keep working bottom of the barrel jobs for the rest of my life or be a stay-at-home mom/homemaker. Taking care of a home and taking care of people makes me happy. I already feel terrible enough because if that happens, most of the financial burden will fall onto my boyfriend's shoulders. I don't want that for him. I don't want to just be worth my skills as a homemaker, musician and artist. I want to be worth something financially too. People like me get chewed up and spit out by life, we don't need people like this daughter-in-law making us feel worse.

[@calico_queen8976]

There's nothing wrong with not being successful academically and in your career but blaming other people and not taking accountability for your own shortcomings is where the GF is just irresponsible and greedy.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: She blamed her parents for not giving her their will/sustaining her? Yeah this definitely doesn't make her seem crazy at all. Story 2: At least OP's girlfriend learned her sister was the problem, also going on a date with your boyfriend then just inviting your sister and nieces along to doesn't make it date anymore. Story 3: Is Op's son must be blindly in love with his wife to be mad at his own mother for standing up for herself against DIL

[@fyoutube9410]

Story 3, it's always funny how shocked abusive people are when you return fire.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) When things don't go her way again she'd find someone else to blame for it but herself. OP dodged a bullet and Reddit needs a reality check. S2) She's made it crystal clear you're never going to be a priority. She's showing you how much you matter to her. Don't stay with someone who's already checked out of the relationship. Leave her. Six years now is nothing to ten years married and looking at a divorce where you loose half of everything. She said you don't matter to her. Believe it. Dear lord OP got played like a fiddle. This behavior will come back to bite her in the end and I have zero sympathy for her. S3) Ignore that harpy. She's a green eyed monster who's looking at all you have and wanting it. Your son's in for a rude awakening when she cheats on him for someone she deems "better". Until then don't give them any hand outs or assistance. Think about if you want to give presents as well seeing as according to her you didn't earn it.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Story 2, Op is a dumbass for staying with her Gf, Stevie wonder could see this will not get better. Op should stop asking for advice because she clearly won't take any.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Story 3, It's really sad that OP is 39, but she needs reddit to tell her she has a right to kick disrespectful people out of her house. It wouldn't surprise me if she was 19 and making this up.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@johnbradbury8610 So you completely ignore the fact that more than one person telling you you're in the wrong can actually make you doubt yourself? Especially if they're family or close to you. Only assholes never doubt themselves.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@SidereusOfTheFallen Of course I doubt myself sometimes, but not if someone treated me like this in my house I would have enough self-respect to kick them out.

[@warjdani]

1st story I have a feeling she got another boyfriend on the side and was just waiting for an opportunity to dump him, she just agreed to the breakup so fast.

[@AWildJirachi]

DUDE I was just thinking that too. Like, she does come off as a huge martyr, but to not even *consider* what OP was offering while almost going out of your way to keep making him look like the bad guy? I think that, at the very least, she was looking for an out and wanted one that made her look like the victim

[@anthonygilmour6236]

If that's true and I was OP, I would find him and thank him for getting her out of his life 🤷

[@Shinukuro]

Agreed! She probably has some party guy who’s willing to go party with her and who happens to have money right now, but once the money runs out and the partying lifestyle, no longer appeals, she will try to get back with OP. Hopefully he will be married happily and tell her to get lost.

[@jackwatt8988]

"Your whole life is not about studying, you should have fun while you are young" - I believe this, absolutely. Mostly because doing nothing but study leads to burnout and isn't good for one's academic success. But, when I was in school, I treated it like a full time job+homework. So 7 am until 5 pm, 5 days per week, and then I'd take a break for a few hours and then would study for another 3-4 hours before bed. On the weekends I'd do about half as much work and studying as during the week. If a person's grades are bad because they socialize too much, then that's their own fault and they aren't prioritizing their academic success enough.

[@BoxOKittens]

That last story made me sad. Kinda reminds me of my own mother and SIL. my mother was so excited to have a daughter in law but the SIL just keeps her at arms length and tells her she can only see the grandkids on special occasions. My mom's heartbroken. I think some women think that MILs are all evil so they sabotage the relationship from day one.

[@jedimasters1462]

Or op is leaving things out.with reddit, sometimes a person lies or omits information to make themselves the only victim. Something tells me that this op is leaving out a lot of information.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@jedimasters1462 I doubt it. I put up with people like this DIL 24/7.

[@buckeyenative1365]

That OP had to drag her husband to the wedding says a lot about DIL, because we normally read that the FIL doesn't see there is a problem. DIL appears to be one of those women who look down on any woman who don't conform to their definition of feminism.

[@ericaallisonc]

@@buckeyenative1365and older folks look down on working women. Neither is wrong, they are just different life styles and works for one person might not work for another.

[@BoxOKittens]

@@ericaallisonc you're right, but shaming a woman for working or for being a housewife is wrong.

[@Wtfamidoing2970]

There was a teensy tiny part of me that felt like his choice of words could have been better, but that very quickly dissipated as she sounds absolutely toxic and exhausting. Thankfully her parents agreed with him though. Without a job she’s going to have to go back home to mommy and daddy at some point in time. Reality will hit at sooner or later for her as it sounds like she’s mooching off someone else now🤷‍♀️ Somewhere an angel gets its wings every time a spoiled rich kid gets a good dose of reality.

[@carlrood4457]

Well, she'll always have Walmart

[@GMAMEC]

@@carlrood4457 With that attitude, she will not last a day at Walmart.

[@Freakyanimefan181]

story 2: NTA its one thing if there was an small emergency and op's SO had to take care of her nieces during that time. it's another story to just bring them along on what's supposed to be a date.

[@MalachioftheForest]

His wanting to help her is patronizing? She's delusional and just wants to be a victim of her circumstances.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

Clearly. She just wants an echo chamber.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

She is a LOSER

[@rebeccaabram2312]

She's also a hypocrite, she wants his help and support to follow her dreams, but she also believes that he thinks she's below him and only helping to be superior. GIRL make up your mind!

[@JohnSmith-xq1pz]

Story 1 how DARE you expect me to take personal responsibility lol

[@jackwatt8988]

comment: you called your fiance "below average" - she is though. It's not a moral judgment, but she's proven herself to be mediocre at best. She complains about profs giving her bad grades, employer's wanting previous work experience, etc. That's below average. She's not a rockstar in her field or even a desirable employee. If she wants to complain about her position, she needs it pointed out to her that her current position and station in life is to be below average and undesirable. I can say this, because I'm kind of in the same position as this woman, I'm 34 with no job and I didn't do great in school, but I accept that I'm below average and I have a lot of work to do if I want people to take me seriously in my chosen field.

[@truthseeker9249]

High five. I have no college education and have been working bottom of the barrel jobs ever since high school. I'm trying to find a long term, hopefully forever job but it's difficult for someone like me. But at least if I have to be somewhat of a loser, I still make a difference in the world with volunteering, being a musician and being a dedicated family person. I'm not below average, I'm rock bottom. But I do have things to get me out of bed every day.

[@bhart3321]

But you're a dude. We don't get coddled like women do so we have no choice but take responsibility for ourselves. She'll probably eventually find a simp to take her in until history repeats itself or he catches her cheating. Men don't have those kinds of options.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@bhart3321 I know. I feel bad for you guys. I'm not coddled very much but I know it's even worse for men.

[@bhart3321]

@@truthseeker9249 Always appreciate a woman that can take responsibility for herself. My gfs do everyday. They're considerably younger than me but have more grace & maturity than 90% of the women their age or mine for that matter. I'm a blessed man.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

@@truthseeker9249"But I do have things to get me out of bed every day." That's more than some people have. I think it's worth more than it might appear at first glance.

[@Lilginger89]

Story 3) that woman has some nerve treat someone who chose house life. The son is a YTA too in the situation. I hope OP finds some peace and the son gets his head out of his a**. I would love an update too

[@jemase7931]

The date. Don't keep Crazy in your life. It is exhausting and will make you crazy, too.

[@ISIIN15]

Oh man story 3 if I was the son I would have dumped her after the gift comment. That's so unbelievably disrespectful and shitty to say especially when it seems like OP and her husband have a very good dynamic and compliment each other well.

[@juliearmfield2634]

What it shows is how unhappy and insecure the daughter-in-law really is. If you're happy you don't take pleasure in tearing other people down

[@sc-bj2fs]

The son chose her because she wasn't like his mother. He doesn't respect or like her. Facts are facts.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@sc-bj2fs shows what a pathetic man he is he sits back and lets his mother be insulted for no reason just because she's keeping his bed warm

[@AndyyWithAY]

I had no issue falling asleep last night, actually fell asleep accidentally and slept until about an hour and half before my alarm. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I just logged in early for work. Gonna start the weekend an hour early 🙌🏾🥳🥳🥳

[@Lillireify]

Dang, I envy you! Sleep avoids me like a plague recently, the end of pregnancy sucks :D

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Yay

[@hmspretender]

Story 1: I hope OP gets his ring back ASAP.

[@technomancermagus8357]

For the person who go so mad at the "below average". 50% of the population is below average, that's just how maths works. Unless you think only the top 50% of the population are getting married, then people who are below average are getting married.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

Even then, he was only saying she turned out below average because she refused to put the work in.

[@technomancermagus8357]

@@ruthsaunders9507 Exactly, when you do 0% of the work you shouldn't be pissed when somebody points out you are getting below average results.

[@jackwatt8988]

3: "no wonder I can cook a home cooked meal because I don't do anything else with my day". "my son is pissed and we had a huge argument and he called me a huge asshole" - the son is the huge asshole. His partner is rude to his mother for no reason. I feel really bad for OP, her son allows his partner to verbally abuse her and demean her, and he doesn't stand up for his mother.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1: he excelled in school, but was scoring zero in psychology. Supporting someone who blames everyone but herself means HE WILL BE BLAMED NEXT....FOR EVERYTHING. Happiness gone forever! RUN.

[@jkosov2319]

The fact that everytime she doesnt get her way ended in a fight yells how both of them are

[@kristinecollier9155]

WOW,, the first two stores really got to me. My heart goes out to the first OP, he must have been crushed! 15 years of being together without even being married is a feat! He didn't have a chance with the way she was treating him! The second one , i hope the girlfriend stays away from her sister for ops sake, that's so cruel.

[@SorenPenrose]

Often times when people are blaming everything that is going on in their lives on everything around them, it’s because they learned that needing help is a weakness and they never learned to ask. In other words, it’s a cry for help from someone unable to communicate the help they need. They need help. “Stop blaming everyone else for your choices” reads as “well you did this so you don’t deserve help, handle it by yourself.” That’s the type of mindset that prevents them from asking for help in the first place. A natural result is that not only do they not learn to ask for help, but they don’t know what the help actually looks/feels like either so they won’t recognize it at first sometimes.

[@jeaniebee3657]

story one...at 29 she should know better than blaming everyone one around her for her own short comings. she can change it but she needs to take responsibility for her failings. this woman has some mental health issues if the op is not lying that is on how she talks.

[@deettekearns9092]

Story 3: - When you are taken out (first meet, no less) to an expensive dinner by your future in-laws you say thank you. - OP wasn't clear if the son and DIL are living with them (I assume not) but when in someone's home, you are gracious and say 'Thank you for cooking,' not what came out of DIL. I have to wonder what kind of relationship OP and her husband has with their son. Was he not in ear shot when DIL made those comments to OP? You know DIL had made rude remarks about OP to the son (assuming here). DIL has no manners and is condescending. Who raised that woman? Wish there was an update!!!

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Story 1: to the ESH: She has been blaming everyone, and talking his ear off, and starting those fights with venting. Being bummed out is no reason to drain somebody constantly

[@GillyFromPhilly]

Story 1: she’s mad because she knows nothing he said is a lie and he can see through her bullshit.

[@chrisidornigie]

Story 3: Looking forward to the son’s divorce and misery! Why people always assume a MIL is evil and not vice versa is beyond me😂

[@kizzy8581]

Love these uploads Mark - keeping me going during a tough work week 🙌

[@LISA75_]

Story 1 , so OP has had to listen for 15 years of his SO's moaning that her life was not going the way she wanted , while she put in very little effort and partied her life away , AND WHEN HE is finally sick of listening to the bullshit , he is in the wrong for saying it, because he didn't tiptoe around her feelings and told her the truth bluntly , THIS story sums up society in general now , don't tell the truth because it might hurt the feelings of the people who are in the wrong and grovel to make them feel better , and if you can fix their shit for them because they don't like to take responsibility. OP NTA GET A NEW GIRLFRIEND

[@Mrsbraynen08]

Mark, I listen to you often. I love how you narrate! Blessings to you, from Florida!

[@rf159a]

Story 1: OP's ex-fiancé wanted to break up. Her actions were just the fuel to add to the fire!!

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both a fantastic Friday! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@wildblue0]

Story 1: Drop the dead weight. You aren't compatible. Story 1 Update: She should get a gold medal for the mental gymnastics. Story 2: NTA. You'll never be a priority. Time to move on. Story 2 Update: I hope the boundaries include couples therapy. Story 3: NTA, but DiL sure is. Be there for the son. He'll get sick of her eventually.

[@ashleighberryman9280]

For story 2. Yeh that Narcissistic manipulation. My “sister in laws” did the same with my husband. He is the youngest and has always thought they wanted what was best for him. Eventually they couldn’t pretend to be supportive of our marriage anymore and eventually started giving my husband advice that would often send us into arguments and then started telling him things like his family should come before his marriage. He reminded them that his wife IS his family and their response was that I was not family at all especially since she hasn’t given us kids. He choose to go no contact and last resort emergency contact only after that.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: nothing of value was lost, quite the opposite actually, he is saved from an expensive divorce that is based on her issues regarding accountability

[@notevenlistening6072]

Up before my family, getting things ready for the kids school. Appreciate the company 😊

[@gottathinkupanewone]

Story two: OP seems to have invested a lot of time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. If the GF truly thinks that somebody else's kids "will always come first," I have to wonder if she actually WANTS a relationship with OP or any other adult. GF also has mental health issues and is in long-term therapy. She's verbally aggressive. She is "easy to manipulate" and is heavily influenced by her sister and her sister's dislike for OP. When she comes with this much baggage, it may be time to look at what she actually brings to the relationship and whether or not the positives outweigh the negatives.

[@SuperOdyss]

I wonder why people like OP can have so little self-esteem. 6 years doing nothing and it isn't getting any better and yet he stays. He hasn't been on a date in 6 years he might as well be single. With men like this it is no wonder modern women act like they do.

[@Notoriouscj1]

@@SuperOdysstrue most men now are really fucking pathetic.

[@Naadeneo]

​@SuperOdyss he is her care taker, not a boyfriend. They are already acting like 60 year old couple.

[@wendyhadley2764]

Last story. When a stay-at-home mom or housewife gets told she doesn't have any money because she doesn't earn it living off her husband. That wife needs to say, I did earn money, earned it making meals, changing diapers, mopping the floor, doing the laundry, shopping for the whole, tutoring for school, catering parties for children and adults. Try hiring someone to do all this. Stay-at-home wives and Mom you earned that money you've spend on your self.

[@sachmoe6584]

Funny how quickly someone turns around when their meal ticket "can't do this anymore"

[@ltfreeborn]

12:47 My expression when my brother says that he's "Never coming back" just to come back 3 months later and everything has changed/altered in a significant way.

[@Naadeneo]

Story 1 sounds like she has another guy and this fight is to breakup. She will be back when she is done messing around

[@thecrebain6760]

Story 3: If my partner said anything like that to my mother, they'd be out of the relationship faster than light speed.

[@Person-sq3xz]

That third story has me boiling. I work for our family and my wife is a sahm. It's OUR money. My wife takes care of the kids and does so many other things. I work, but she does too!

[@shebakoby]

"Why is the son defending it?" well, because he knows who keeps his bed warm! (and probably offers him a comfortable lifestyle as well)

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 naaaah this is the sunk cost fallacy. I could just tell he was a paycheck to her and it was proven in that update. He should have run from her. That's a bandaid on a gaping wound

[@lynnw7155]

I had to check the girlfriend's age. She's not adult/emotionally healthy enough to be in an adult relationship. Why does she need other people on a date? She clearly doesn't see OP as a romantic partner, just someone to hang out with. Oh; OP supports her? If he can't even go on a date with her, I'm curious about the real nature of their relationship.

[@Naadeneo]

​@@lynnw7155he can not admit how bad it is, he must have low self esteem as well. Maybe guilt because she is disabled. I had a similar case with a mother and son.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: It's great that the girlfriend has a relationship with her sister's kids, but OP seems like an afterthought when they can crash any outing. Her sister sounds like the girlfriend was in demand childcare.

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - YTA only b/c :What the hell are you doing with her?

[@trilbynhiss]

I kept thinking of The Ant and The Grasshopper fable while listening to S1.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

I have never understood the lack of logic behind insulting someone's cooking and then expecting to still both eat their food and stay in their house.

[@memyselfandi7782]

Can’t wait for an update to the last one

[@BlackHikariAngel]

Good Morning everyone time for the daily listen at work 🎉🎉

[@YG_GLeeKo]

Same

[@peterhobson3262]

I spent 20 years in the US Navy, retiring as a Senior Chief Petty Officer. After working a couple of going-nowhere jobs I got a job as an audit clerk in a fair-sized company. I retired after 25 years there as an accounting middle manager, having picked up an MBA along the way. It is possible to reinvent oneself at age 40.

[@maggpiprime954]

Whoah! An early upload? Nice!

[@DomSte128]

Story 1 - OP was fighting a losing battle and breaking up with his fianceé was the best outcome. They have different values, background and maturity. She blames everyone for her misfortunes, never herself. She's a 29yo woman who can make choices for herself.

[@graciesmith3368]

Y’all that daughter in law is a real piece of work. I’d have “southern style” put her in her place. Like oh my all of that education and that never taught you manners??? Oh my! Well don’t worry dear we will help you to learn proper manners as I’d hate for you to embarrass yourself again. If she protests or insults again; just say oh dear there’s no need to be upset we are happy to help you. You’re family now 😊

[@salomerodriguez5145]

Saying someone manipulated you into being an asshole is the ultimate asshole move.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: having just finished my uni degree with a difficult final class where I worked my bum off to complete my assignments, got tutoring three times a week, did all the extra credit work and participated in all the group projects where you got more points for doing it in a group instead of on you own, (despise group projects) I have no sympathy for the fiancée. She squandered her opportunities to party, blames everyone else for the resulting impact on her life, and is taking it out on OP because he is now experiencing the success she believes should have been handed to her without putting in the work to earn it. OP is well out of that relationship.

[@Sbranch412]

The 1st story is wow that person is delusional

[@theseawriter]

Kitten update - his bum is looking much better. He’s sitting on my lap purring away as I type! Still an outside kitten until we get him to the vet.

[@mattl6300]

S1: NTA. He should scrape that barnacle off and move onward and upward. Stay focused and stay on his square.

[@dracawyn]

Story 2: tell me your gf has an enmeshed relationship with her family without telling me.

[@damiang888]

Story 1: Sounds like she NEEDED to blame someone, and when OP disagreed with her he became an option to assign the blame. Now she can talk badly about him for a couple of years while taking zero accountability of her life choices.

[@anonymouslee2083]

OP1: Tell your ex these three words: “Ya gotta wanna.”

[@mindmaster323]

Story 1: NTA. The lack of accountability is astounding. She constantly complained about how things didn't go her way yet never made any attempt to make things go her way. She didn't end up where she wanted and it's everyone's fault but her own and she's mad OP told her she has no one to blame but herself. She ran from her own family because they didn't coddle her when she ran to them complaining about how hard it is for her and how nothing is her fault. Then OP says "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh. If you really want things to change I'm here to help you" and she spat in his face and blamed him. She's toxic as Hemlock and OP will be better without her in the long run. Can't believe people are saying OP is being egotistical just because he's comparing her irresponsible choices to his more responsible ones. Story 2: There's a lot of moving parts here. For one I'm not sure how much a romantic relationship OP has with her girlfriend. I also really wonder what the GFs sister was saying to cause all this. I can't help but feel like the sister was plotting to break them up so the GF would have to come live with her instead and she could have more control over her and maybe free babysitting. This whole situation is a mess and beyond what internet strangers can actually help with. Story 3: NTA, the DIL is just extremely rude for no reason. It's incredibly audacious of her to act shocked and cry when OP finally hit her breaking point and told her off. She strikes me as one of those women who look down on other women for not taking the same path in life she did or choosing more traditional lifestyles. I'd need more context to say for sure, but at the very least she seems disdainful of housewives.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: NTA. Fiancee sounds like an irresponsible brat. But that background points to much bigger problems. This relationship is always on HER terms, what she says goes. Meanwhile OP is more accomplished and has a better job. What does she even bring to the table? I think he needs to kick her out for at least a week, take some time away from her to rethink this relationship. Update: irresponsible brat is right! I'm so glad the trash took itself out. OP now needs to work on improving himself, hit the gym and get in the best shape of his life. He can do better than this airhead in a heartbeat.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

Bring to the table she's the kind who thinks she's the entire dining room set when in reality she's a folding chair and a takeaway box.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@anthonygilmour6236 LOL well-put! She thinks her plastic plates and utensils are silverware!

[@anthonygilmour6236]

@@DrownedInExile plus she's as useful as a paper soup spoon.

[@DakshaiRanger]

​@@anthonygilmour6236🎤you dropped something sir

[@blazngheart3496]

Heeey, early Mark upload! 🧇🧇

[@jellyrolljim2462]

Story 3 I am the stay at home parent. My brother used to make snide comments to me about it. His most famous one was about me wearing an apron. So my wife bought me an apron made of canvas and with an octopus with knives on it it’s really cool and manly. I think leaning into the insults works pretty good. Maybe like a least I know how to cook and can use my kitchen and not just the phone for take out.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: NTA She is the chef of her own dish. If she does not like it, it us up to her and her alone to change the recipe.

[@marlyrayray1338]

Story 2 I equate this situation the same as married couples going on vacations w/o the kids. To me, it's very necessary. You need couples time. Date nights/vacations are essential

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: OP deserves better. The now ex will regret her choice to dump him but she won't take accountability. She'll probably blame the friends she's staying with right now. Until She learns to take accountability, she's not going to have a healthy relationship. I hope OP finds happiness. Story 2: I hope OP is making the right choice but I agree it's concerning that the girlfriend became verbally aggressive. Though I'll give her the benefit of the doubt due to the toxic manipulation from the sister. I know it's not any excuse but being abused by a narcissist can cause the abused to pick up traits to protect themselves and the relationship with the narcissist. It's good she sees it not but it's also a possibilty that she's just as manipulative. I hope OP keeps her guard up. Story 3: I'm glad OP stood up for herself. I know it's difficult because she wants to be in her sons life but the disrespect and condescension would only continue from the grandkids if she allowed the DIL to keep speaking to her in that way. Maybe her son feels the same way the DIL does if he's not sticking up for his mom. Hopefully it gets better but OP did the right thing.

[@strandedinseattle9931]

Story 2: While the sister may have influenced the gf's poor treatment of OP, the gf doubled down on her own volition with what she felt was acceptable behavior on her part after belittling OP's place in her heart/life. The moment OP said in the update, "After a few days she asked to talk," I immediately thought: Yeah, now that she knows OP is really making plans to get out, the gf most likely panicked realizing her sugar mama funding her entire life was leaving. Where will she live, how will she fund her own lifestyle and comforts? She grabbed onto that wallet (OP) with both hands and a humble apology out of nowhere. She sounds manipulative like her sister.

[@Icalasari]

5:44 - "My fiancee is way more gifted than me" Woo boy, I think I spotted the problem. I was a "gifted child" myself - You expect everything to go your way. I'm sure I'd have been a bit of an ego maniac too if it wasn't for my crippling depression at the time (and heck, even before finding the right meds, I had moments of, "Everybody else is at fault I'm a genius") OP NEEDS to snap her out of that mindset if he stays with her

[@anonymouslee2083]

1: I think it’s entirely fair to tell her “you clearly need to take a long look in the mirror and start making better choices if you’re so unhappy, and I hope someday you wake up.”

[@JSainte17]

"Yeah every other aspect of our lives is a fight, but when I do what she wants, we have fun together." Seriously? Imagine what she'd be like with kids.

[@JoshuaLe93]

Not an expert in dating but as a massage therapist I have talked to many people and the Story 1, there are definitely traits and characteristics that seem to be consistent with other women I am familiar with. Entitlement, sexism, and the need to blame others for their issues seem to be a maturity issue. Not to say that each one a defining factor but the consistence in their usage to attack others despite their well intentions is a repeating pattern. Referring to "patronizing, blaming teachers for poor grades, and not being able to make it on her own." She clearly states that she does not refer to herself as someone who needs help but someone who can stand shoulder to shoulder to everyone else despite not having the no how or the means. A few of my clients define their partners as great partners with the exceptions of one flaw, but I do believe that they choose to ignore other signs of developmental problems. Not to say that their partners are terrible, but that they refuse to grow into becoming a more ideal version of themselves. Most of these people, I believe have a disassociate themselves from reality in some ways that regular people have a hard time seeing. Such as when they are financially dependent on their partner or parents but don't see that they rely on others for their comfort and daily needs. Sorry for the rant, point being that in the ideal situation, they learn to suffer. Not to say drop them off a cliff or torture them but allow them to do and the suffer their consequences, do not support them. Do not coddle them, watch them burn and watch them fall until they run out of excuses. Allow their actions to show repercussions, they will lose confidence, become more fragile, but eventually will rebuild if they learn to get pass their own egos. If they have a desire to become a better person it will happen, but learning to let people suffer is not a fun experience for anyone.

[@MsJapanino]

Story 1 He is a great guy and I would bet anything she will realize in her next relationship she had it great and try to get him back.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA She made it plain as day that her sister and nieces are her number 1 priority, not you. Find someone who wants to be with YOU, not the entire world every time the two of you walk out the door.

[@Mischa21xo]

Story 2: I'm so sick of people using their mental health issues as a wall of protection so as to Shield them from having to take responsibility for their actions and be accountable for them. She was not sorry until she saw those dollar signs walking away, AKA the OP breaking up with her. THEN and only then she does a complete 180 and now she says she is sorry and claims she was manipulated and puts the blame on somebody else as if she is not a grown adult making her own decisions. He needs to break up with this fool. She is unemployed and she can't even go on a date with him, give me a break. There are much better options out there, I promise you.

[@SherriLyle80s]

S1: The truth hurts, but if she kept blaming others, it's good you put her in her place and let her know it's all on her

[@jkosov2319]

Yeah and the OP needs to stop his sucker tendencies

[@bearb.7406]

Both relationships! Run!!!

[@Lillireify]

Story 1 - ex is the professional victim in the making :D