Sister-In-Law Thinks Me Treating My Wife Is Compensating For A Bad Marriage r/Relationships

[@ElleD308]

Anyone who complains and wants you to stop making your spouse and yourself happy/have fun/pamper each other, and it's clear you're both happy and ok, comes out of jealousy and resentment. Don't ever listen to them.

[@onepieceisking5493]

Exactly 💯, their jealous and probably entitled. Don't listen to them and they can bug off. Specially when their racist and I'm not surprised that SIL blames op's wife for mom and sister for not speaking to her. When it was herself that made a comment to hurt op's wife and showed everyone that she's racist and horrible. She's definitely going to blow up in the end that everyone is keeping away from her, except her idiot rose glass wearing husband, and blame op's wife for it all.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yup. People like that tell on themselves every single time. Problem is, they’re usually not cursed with anything approaching self-awareness, so they’ll probably never change.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

I see you've become acquainted with my stepmom. Was the séance expensive?

[@alexvalentine5091]

Anyone reminded about the southern roommate story?

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

@@alexvalentine5091 haha I hadn't thought of it, but now you mention it..

[@DoritoBot9000]

So, putting effort into having a good marriage somehow means you have a bad marriage? Um, what?

[@truthseeker9249]

No one wants to believe that healthy relationships exist anymore.

[@jbgra2566]

Well some people do that for appearances but in this story I believe SIL was just talking from her butt. When people don't have anything to critique another person for, they just make sh!t up

[@truthseeker9249]

@@jbgra2566 exactly. And I know about that firsthand.

[@marshawargo7238]

Putting effort in Is the Reason that they Have a good marriage/relationship!❤ Gee makes me think bro & SIL Don't have a good relationship!😢 SIL is trying to say to the bro that "Theirs is even worse than ours" so brother wants cooberation, agree or deny.😮

[@sonialinsey8083]

Do I think filling your house with wildflowers is a bit much? Yes I do. Do I think it’s a sign of a bad marriage? Lol no, what sense does that make?

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You spoil your wife way too much and my wife thinks it's to compensate for a bad marriage" Tell me you don't do shit for your partner without telling me you don't do shit for your partner. Gift giving and acts of service are the two love languages i use the most and you'd have to pry them from my cold, dead hands before you ever made me stop doing them🚶🏻

[@LunaMane]

Precisely! Then to such foolish statements the question then becomes, "so in a relationship you shouldn't express your love for your significant other and treat them to gifts?". Of course, I'm not saying you should break the bank or anything in doing so. But it's a nice thing to do here and there. So resentment and jealousy are key factors in why people act that way when they see happy relationships where the couple gives as much as they take.

[@vykcryptid]

RIght? I think if the brother's wife is a racist (sounds likely) this probably also contributes to her jealousy/anger that someone she sees as "lesser" than her is being treated better than her and has a healthier marriage with more love than hers.I'm aro and I was still like "AWWWWW" at the filling the house with wildflowers gesture it's lovely when people love and take care of eachother and do nice things like that

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

You should always take care of your partner but "love language" is a term only used by psychopaths.

[@owl7072]

​@@MuDkipzCHancelLOr????? "The term love language refers to the way that a person prefers to express love to-and receive it from-a partner."

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

@@owl7072 Yep. Used exclusively by psychopaths.

[@crazycatlady9749]

Story 2: If the dog is so well behaved that he always walks next to them, and stops and sits when they stop, then why did she say he hates the leash because he can't explore?

[@coreymartin6486]

Yep I noticed that as well.

[@amberluppens3292]

Literally this. Plus, it doesn’t matter how well behaved a dog is. If a nice unleashed dog goes up to an aggressive leashed dog, something bad will still happen, and guess who will get in trouble despite doing everything right. She doesn’t seem to understand that her actions also affect others outside of her

[@ivorynk752]

Good point, restraints are only uncomfortable when you pull on them

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: "He followed about 85% of the commands" ... and what happens during the 15% he doesn't?

[@puli_dreadhead]

I caught that too. Cause does that mean he just ignores everyone or gets easily distracted.

[@averycheesypotato]

And that’s 85% obedience with the owner in a controlled environment. With a stranger on the street? OP might get 50/50 from him

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@averycheesypotato not even that its 10-15% max. i dealt with this before with my uncle's dog. he can be leashless but even after yrs he's on his leash every walk.

[@jusminejustice2794]

​@@Kris-wo4pjSounds like your uncle is responsible. I would be too paranoid about the things that could happen. What if there's something that dog wants to chase and what happens if it decides to ran into the street. Op's friend sounds irresponsible.

[@averycheesypotato]

@@Kris-wo4pj Some dogs are used to being handled by different people, so it can be higher or lower. Retrievers do tend to be fairly docile, but there’s no telling unless we were to meet the dog himself. Like I said, OP *might* get 50/50

[@sammieg8641]

She ate all 3 meals in 1 night.. she ate them… she did not share with her kid… who eats all that in 1 siting… I’d be sick… nope the wife is definitely the AH… and she needs to figure out how to make a sandwich

[@mbyerly9680]

It's both passive aggressive and shows why she stopped the diet.

[@Dymondslayr]

Seriously! Even the worst one can figure out how to pour a bowl of cereal and milk for heaven's sake.

[@weirdlyghostly1814]

​@@Dymondslayror even order pizza

[@fancyme.alter1311]

​@@weirdlyghostly1814I was going to say she could push buttons on a cell phone for pizza

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

OMG, even my grandsons can operate a toaster oven and a microwave. They do frozen dinners, Hot Pockets, pizza rolls, nuggets and tater tots. They also make PP&J or sliced meat sandwiches. They do ramen, Mac&cheese, scrambled eggs, spagettios and can soups. All started about the age of 12.

[@audraverela3663]

Yeah, that story with the dog is pretty much the toxic side of dog owners. Leash laws are there for a reason, so I hope where they live they can enact some for the sake of ppl and dogs.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

My dog walks off lease in the night round 2 when there is no traffic and other people around and ofcourse in the dogpark. He listen verry wel to me. But when my daughters walk him, they complain about how bad the dog listen. Well my biggest dog has a thing for my oldest daughter she can do everything with him. Me not so much, if he sees a rabbit when i walk him off lease he is gone. She never has this problem. What i mean with this, the dog can listen great to her, does need to listen great to her friend. Asking a strange dogwalker for the dog to walk him without lease is a morronmove.

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP will be a major AH if she allows this toxic "friend" back into her life."

[@carlrood4457]

@@paulinadeboer3604 Pretty much what I was going to comment. Just because the dog behaves with the owner doesn't mean he'll behave the same with a different walker. It's really no different with people. How we act around old childhood friends is often different from how we act with friends we met as adults. Kids will behave differently with one parent than the other.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Even with the best behaved dog in the world - and mine is not - imagine there's a car accident nearby, or anything else doggo has never seen happen. Panic is a thing.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

OP also might want to ask herself if she wants to be used by someone who tries to bully her into doing something she is this uncomfortable with. This person is not a friend, she is a user.

[@thefiretailedweasel6206]

As a dog owner i wanna smack tf outta the friend in story 2. My neighbors walk their golden off the leash too, but my dog is, for some reason, his biggest hater. He jumped him the last time they saw each other and HE was on a leash. The neighbor's response? Take tbeir dog inside and later take him out on a leash because other dogs can absolutely cause your dog to run off.

[@helenlewis2510]

You just know that if op had taken that dog out and something had happen her “friend” would have blamed her completely.

[@coreymartin6486]

Yep...that's what I was thinking as well. Maybe even claim to police that she told OP to use a leash.

[@Brose3240]

Maybe I’m just an asshole but if I were OP, I would have brought a leash to walk the dog and not told the friend. Then, tell the friend that the dog took off while on the way to the dog park…even though dog is nice and safe. Maybe it would teach her a lesson. But again, I’m an asshole like that.

[@lulul0l039]

@@Brose3240 It only would've pushed back the inevitable, friend sucks big time. Dog will be missed, but OP is better of without having such dismissive, irresponsible bully of a friend. They can distance themselves better now, without friend going on tirade about OP 'harming' the dog. You bet they would frame the situation very differently than what actually took place.

[@emmathereb]

Girl is a whole damn cinema with how much she’s projecting

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@L33TRedNinja]

🤣

[@damien678]

A leash isn't abuse, she's just sensitive and a wee bit insane

[@dollface2907]

The other issue is yeah the dog will obey the owner but some random person who is one off is umm no

[@TheScaletIbisNW]

As someone who used to work with dogs i can't stand these anti leash people. Our lab was lovely. She never ran away. However, if she saw a cat than she was gone. She was also attacked by a pit, who was off leash. The dog also does not know op. It might panic and try and look for its owner.

[@leaflet1686]

Story 3: Imagine being so stupid that you can't even boil pasta or heat up bolognese from a glass... Or put soem dino nuggies in the oven!

[@akl2k7]

Put some meals in the microwave, order some food through an app, drive through McDonald's. There are so many alternatives to stealing her husband's food.

[@leaflet1686]

Your ideas are very expensive and unhealthy! She has to start small and build her way up.@@akl2k7

[@phtevlin]

#3 When I worked as a nurse, I'd go to the store, purchase a week's supply of frozen dinners for lunch & dinner. For breakfast, I'd have cold cereal. It took a max of 5 minutes to heat up the frozen dinners. I hated cooking & sucked at it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

You know good and damn well if something happened with OP and Jeffy God forbid got killed off leash, she would be trying to sue OP have her arrested, blasting her on SM everything.

[@jennilynne1977]

My dog will walk next to me with no leash and will listen to me when I tell him to do certain things during a walk. He won't however, listen to my husband if he's off leash. We generally don't take the pupper on walks without a leash on. It's just easier to put the leash on.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Absolutely agree. I used to walk my roommate's sweet older dog who would never chase anything, but you'd better believe I used a leash because any dog can get startled and run into the street!

[@AndyyWithAY]

@errantwinds-up8uu exactly. It's kind've like wearing a seat belt in a car. You may have never been an accident in 20 years, but when you are, you want that protection.

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Friend with dog claiming Abuse is not a responsible pet owner

[@YellaBellaReno]

She didn’t even need to learn to cook! It was one night, lady; spring for pizza like a normal person! 😂

[@starrhunter633]

Last story with the meals. People calling OP and Ahole and abusive, I wonder if OP was the wife and the wife has been a man and this same situation happened I wonder if people would have been saying the same things? Ungrateful people have to learn some times. Expecting a spouse to help with cooking especially when it is only one time and they just act like it is the others fault for not doing it is abusive and weaponized incompetence.

[@dimsufferer9951]

She ate 3 meals in one sitting, there’s no way that wasn’t fueled by spite

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, that's what I don't get. He didn't make dinner for one night that she knew in advance about? So what? She could have gotten something out or ordered something. Heck, if she didn't want to spend the money, there are those cheap $3-4 meals she could get from the store that she only has to microwave.

[@bautistalover]

You’re not wrong of the roles were reversed the people calling OP an AH would be saying OP was pathetic for being an adult and incapable of basic care for himself.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Eating my food is an act of war, so I'll pretty much always been on your side if someone eats your food. The most important thing is this wasn't sprung on her. She knew well in advance. NTA

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP has a wife problem. Any parent who refuses to learn some basic cooking is lazy. That's called weaponized incompetence. Men do it too. I doubt this is the only issue.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

It blows my mind when grown adults are incapable of cooking for themselves, and especially so when they have kids.

[@Gumbier_Than]

I used to do that grimy crap to my loved ones almost two decades ago. When someone told me that I was hastening their demise, I managed to stop. You're correct in it's waging war, I now have a cow if I catch others doing that. ❤

[@alannahd.7417]

OP in story 1 sounds so cute 😭 flowers around the house on their anniversary? That’s so thoughtful, I hope she loved it and they had a great time

[@juliearmfield2634]

They sound so in loving good for each other. Everyone should have a love like that❤

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@juliearmfield2634 That's exactly what I was thinking! OP and his wife sound like a match made in heaven! 💖 of course a miserable black hole tries to suck all the joy away because misery loves company. 😒

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly oh i know i just absolutely live for the ones that make my heart smile. ❤😇

[@anyaarcadia9166]

OP in story 1 sounds like a total romantic. He sounds like he doesnt try to flaunt it to other people (he omly tries to do what it takes to see his wife smile) so it shouldn't be anyone else's business how he expresses his love/they express their love

[@truthseeker9249]

Like my boyfriend. He romances me and wants to give me the world just because he loves me so much and believes I deserve it no matter how hard I fight him on it. But his family choose to see that as a bad thing because they're jealous at seeing a love so strong and beautiful.

[@audreym3908]

And she does the same too! I so want what they have, but between me and my future partner

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. OP and his wife sound like a match made in heaven. 💖

[@rosebud8043]

Story 2, I would never take my dog on a walk without a leash. I have a puppy who's pretty well behaved and never leaves the yard despite no fence but even then I would still put a leash on her since anything can happen, ANYTHING!

[@daphneebrisson7449]

Keeping your dog and others safe is not abuse. One of my dog (4 years old, adopted last year), even if he was doing so great and improving so much during his unleashed walk (on my land), decided out of nowhere, it was a smart idea to go walk on the side of the road. As long as he decides to be a dummy (said with love), he will be leashed until we are at a safe distance from the road.

[@babybookworm003]

I don’t walk Gibbs off lead there’s leash laws here

[@daniellerope7942]

My exception to this was I had a senior dog whose back legs were not great towards the end of her life. We let her walk behind us, stopped and let her catch up to where we were. We also had a leash with us for her. However we also kept her on leashes when we weren’t in our neighborhood. Every other time we keep all of our dogs on leashes so it’s safe for everyone around us.

[@islandlivin808]

Story two: dog trainer here. OP is 100% in the right here, taking into account the dog's safety and the fact that he is not accustomed to walking with them. I've worked with quite a few clients whose dogs "did fine" off-leash *until they didn't.* You never know what can happen and it only takes a split second for an entirely preventable tragedy to occur.

[@katie6731]

I saw this all too often while working at a vet office. It only takes a split second for an absolute tragedy to unfold.

[@OneFunkyBrutha]

Story 3: NTA. Why is the selfish spouse calling the responsible spouse selfish? I'm always with the petty if it's justified but is it even petty to expect your spouse to step up and learn a basic life skill for the sake of their family? Nah B.

[@amysmith6791]

Story 2- I'm currently watching someone else's dog. He normally takes her out at a jog without one. He insisted I use the leash as she isn't my dog and don't have the same level of control as him. NTA he might behave for his owner but not anyone else.

[@carolroberts4614]

My partner and I will be looking after my daughter's dog for a week. She is well behaved but does get excited when she has her run. She's deaf now too, so we will have to take her out on an extended lead all the time!

[@AceFoxx70001519]

Story 2: Op's ex friend is a type of dog owner I've seen a few times, she's anthropomorphising her pet too much and it's basically abuse, in a couple years the dog will either be dead or comfiscated because she's too fuckin dumb to realize domestic dogs are bred for tasks and goldens were bred for hunting, not being lap dogs, poor thing is gonna chase a bird or squirrel into a car someday, or kill a cat and get confiscated

[@technicaldifficulties368]

I do take my dog off leash in areas it's appropriate to do so. He's very well trained. I have a leash with me at all times.

[@AceFoxx70001519]

@@technicaldifficulties368 anyone who says leashes are abuse is a psycho, taking your dog off leash when appropriate was never in question

[@sunflowerlady2057]

@@technicaldifficulties368thanks for the share, but no one is talking about letting dogs off leashes where it is appropriate. The issue is the friend didn’t want to have her dog on a leash *at all* and expected her friend to walk down the road with her dog unleashed and called the idea of him being leashed “abuse.” The friend was clearly being ridiculous.

[@ineedhoez]

Facts!!!!

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

OP, NTA. Good move to refuse. If he got startled, ran out into road then got hit by a car, how would she react then? Would she then blame you, press charges, sue You?! Not worth chancing the hassle.

[@laurentiare]

*Story 1 OP:* Imagine being jealous of someone else’s wife because your husband isn’t OP. You’re 100% NTA. SIL and brother should take notes on what a *healthy* relationship actually looks like. I hope that one day I will have a future partner that will be just as thoughtful as OP. *TA:* I also LOVE the idea of a wildflower themed wedding. That sounds beautiful ❤

[@audreym3908]

Same here!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with you. If people see a happy and loving relationship, they should take notes, not rain on the happy couple's parade.

[@puli_dreadhead]

I agree with the comment that said that just because the dog listens to her family it might not listen to op. Also if op is not used to giving commands the dog might get confused and not respond.

[@embluvya]

Story 2: it's crazy how hard it is for some people to understand that dogs are not people. If she loved her dog, she'd put it on a leash. For its safety and the safety of everyone around it. She'd rather project her own emotions onto an animal and pretend you're the crazy one.

[@BlackTheBerserker]

I am currently taking care of my dad's dog while he's out of town. My dad has trained him so well that there have been times he accidently yanked his collar off, and then once he realized, he ran back to me and waited for me to put it and the leash back on. Despite that, I still walk him with the leash on. Sometimes even well trained dogs might do something they know they shouldn't when they think it might be fun, or put themselves in danger unknowingly.

[@tallyp.7643]

Yeah, my blue heeler used to have the run of the yard (out county, no fences) and knew to stick close to home. But when she saw a squirrel, rabbit, other dog, that "target fixation" went into gear and she'd take off running. I used to yell "INCOMING!!!" when neighbors were out and she headed their way. they would just stick their hand out in a "stop" gesture and she would, and patiently wait for a petting. But animals? She was NOT gonna listen if she thought she could get them. Now because she's getting older and developing wanderlust (keeps wanting to go to some pond where snakes hang out), she's always leashed or on a tether like her brother (he's an escape artist retriever mix who would charge into traffic in search of new smells). I walk them a few times a day and let them smell and explore, but he is a multi-rescue who is mostly untrainable (too many conflicting commands over the years, just sit and stay seem to get through). If it weren't for a harness and leash, he'd have been a splatter on the pavement years ago.

[@anyjen]

On the leash story, I was at the vet's once and in came a weeping woman holding her small unleashed dog in her arms. She had been walking him when a pack of big dogs spotted him and chased him, panicked, into the busy street. The dog had been hit by a car and had most of his teeth broken. If nothing more serious happened, that poor dog still had to spend the rest of his life eating mush because the owner couldn't be bothered to put him on a leash.

[@Windxchild]

Story 2: NTA, I have never had a dog, so I don’t have much experience with them. My best friend has a 13 year old Labrador with arthritis. Not the type to run away, but I would never walk her without a leash. I don’t see how taking some precautions is “abuse”

[@Windxchild]

Update: “… that they don’t know her dog, and nor do I”. All the more reason to just have the dog on a leash, if you don’t know them very well… Smh

[@yef122]

​@@Windxchildand all the more reason for that OP to not walk the dog at all. Well, that plus the "friend" being a crazy beeatch

[@snowythealicorn5784]

I see a lot of dog off leash hate, which is fair, but some service dogs can't be leashed due to needing to do a specific task.

[@happyfriar]

​@@snowythealicorn5784This is not a service dog, and service dogs that don't get leashed generally do get well labeled with a service vest

[@snowythealicorn5784]

@@happyfriar no, i know it's not a service dog, im just saying walking a service dog off leash isn't abuse.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one they are jealous of your wife its pathetic. They wouldn’t be in my house again. You love your wife and it’s no one’s business if you “spoil” her. Fudge them. I bet their marriage is the one that is crap.

[@AleksandarBradaric]

Last story: HAHA people call him AH....Love to see If the roles were to be reversed....It would be: "He's a grown ass man, he can learn how to cook for himself"....Hypocrites.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Fr, I was thinking 'why hasn't this bitch learned some meals she CAN cook or just ordered something?' there are even meal kits out there that are so easy to make.

[@pinklemonade8320]

There is actually proof of this. Look up "AITA for stopping cooking for my partner without warning?" And then "AITA for not warning my partner I had stopped cooking?" Someone posted the exact same story word-for-word, but with the genders reversed (it's actually a pretty similar story with the wife working as a nurse and refusing to cook for herself) The sub just voted that the man is the asshole both times. And I'm not just talking about the top comment. It was almost unanimously YTA when OP was male and unanimously NTA when OP was female. I found this out recently and honestly it's completely ruined the sub for me. I always felt it was kind of sexist, but this is hard evidence that the genders actually matter more than the content of the post itself. I don't know why men even bother posting there anymore. The only thing the votes really identify is who the man is in the post lol. I'm actually pleasantly surprised to see people on story 3 saying NTA but maybe Mark just picked the more reasonable comments

[@myroc1]

I saw a dog owner pulling his dog back from an innocent, yet unleashed dog wandering up curious about the other dog totally tame. The unleased dog owner said "oh don't worry he won't bite!" and the dog owner with a leash said "oh yeah well my dog DOES bite."

[@mercycunningham2813]

This! Some dogs don't like other dogs.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Lmao the other one was lying too, their dog 100% can bite and would if given a reason.

[@BerryTrekkin]

Story 2: frankly I would be calling the local animal control/welfare organisation to knock some sense into her 🤷‍♀️

[@vilwarin5635]

Story 2: my grandparents used to have this super smart mutt that was super well behaved and didn't need a leash. First time that my mother (then my father's gf) offered to walk the dog WITH a leash, the dog waited until they turned the corner to jump, rip the lash away from my mother's hands and run away. How do we know the dog did it on purpose? Because he stopped to see if my mom was following him, and started running away when she was close enough. She finally went back home to call my father to fetch the dog... But the cheeky bastard was following her the hole time with the leash on his mouth! So yeah, don't trust any animal, specially the smarter ones. They may try to fool you

[@karenrickert9430]

The dog might be “Well behaved” but that doesn’t mean that other dogs or people will behave!

[@tallyp.7643]

R'amen! It's like "defensive driving": You might know what you're doing, but you gotta protect yourself from others that might not.

[@KonekoPurrrfection]

Dogs are still animals....you may have domesticated them but that never takes the animals nature out of them completely

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

it sounds like the way OP treats his wife hits a nerve with his brother and SIL. I'm willing to bet the brother is salty because he doesn't do shit for his own wife and the contrast makes him look bad, and his wife is resentful because he doesn't make an effort. But instead of doing better in their own marriage, they'd rather shit all over OP's.

[@ynmonroe]

Exactly this!

[@amandab8433]

Story 1 : OP is definitely NTA. My husband (White) and I (Black) had a similar situation happen to us, but it was with (ex) friends. We just celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary, and our 35th anniversary of being together. We are absolutely blessed that we have a wonderful relationship, and just love being with each other. Even our kids, now adults, kid that we've never left our honeymoon phase. The friends said that we were faking all of the lovely dovey things we do with each other. I told them it was pretty sad that since they were having problems, that they thought raining on our parade would make them feel better. We cut the friends out, and are happy to have done so. I only mentioned race because I definitely know what OP, and his wife, may be going through.

[@truthseeker9249]

So do I. I'm black and my boyfriend is white. His meddling parents and meddling older sister are like that too. But they're all just jealous. My boyfriend has found true love and is in a strong healthy relationship and they can't stand it. They try everything they can to find what's wrong with me and our relationship because they're bitter. I could air out a lot of dirty laundry about his parents' marriage and his sister's relationship with her boyfriend but I won't. We can't cut them off at least not yet, but I do not want any of them around our children especially with how his parents keep explicitly saying they do not want grandchildren ever. Fine by me cause I don't trust them to be good influences and to not harm our children's mental health.

[@Mammongus]

S1: They're projecting HARD

[@ynmonroe]

Yep. Imagine being upset with the level of affection someone is exuding towards their spouse. That can't be anything but jealousy.

[@MistyAnime]

That last story. The wife is very heavily reliant on OP and probably feels she can't cook anything as they agreed that OP would handle it from now on. She doesn't have to be a gourmet chef to make food. My husband makes a lot of the food in our house because I'm blind, but that doesn't mean I can't make food at all. I think OP and his wife need to spend time and him teaching her and simple ways of making food.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

Or she could take initiative and learn on her own, but shes too much of a bitch to do that clearly since even though she KNEW she'd need to make dinner for herself for ONE single night weeks in advance, she did nothing to get ready for that. She could of gotten take out or gotten a pre-prep meal box from a store most big stores have those now.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Too tired to cook for herself? Go FYS unless you're sporadically passing out into a coma like sleep everyday you come home from work I sincerely doubt you're as tired as you say you are

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 is not about how well-trained the dog is, it is about how confidant OP is in handling an unleashed dog. OP is NTA, because they held to their boundary on this issue. Besides, a leash can be attached to a harness, which broadens the area on the dog's body the leash pulls on, making it safer.

[@babybookworm003]

My dog is harnessed and leashed on walks 1. It’s a bylaw here. 2. He’s super social and wants to meet everyone who walks by. 3. Wildlife. He may have his rabies vaccine but there’s other bite, scratch borne infections that don’t have vaccines why risk it. 4. The obvious traffic

[@aerolister8093]

Story 2: I’m the go to pet sitter for my Aunt’s dog, I’ve known her most of my life and I still NEVER walk her off her leash even though my aunt walks her off leash. That lady is just insane

[@ineedhoez]

Story 1: happy to hear a sista getting treated well in a marriage!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Practical-hoe?? What a username 🤣🤣 Leashes on puppies are not abuse. TF? I wouldn't walk a dog off leash either. NTA.

[@akl2k7]

If leashes are abusive to dogs, then are seatbelts abusive to kids? They both play the same role of protection.

[@onepieceisking5493]

Story 1, NTA. Sil is definitely racist and can't stand that someone that she thinks is lesser than her has such a great marriage and gets so many gifts. By making that comment she made the family hate her and I'm betting she was aiming to hurt op's wife plus think they would side with her. The brother is just as horrible for not putting her in her place and stopping her horrid behavior. Update, wow, the brother has rose glasses on to not see what op sees in his racist wife. Its obvious that she's racist and hates op's wife yet he's hurt that op thinks the truth about his wife. Not surprised that the witch is blaming op's wife for op's mom and sister for no longer speaking to her when it's because of what she said that showed her true racist colors. Definitely keep them at a distance and i wouldn't be surprised if the witch does blow up at some point due to her hatred and jealousy.

[@tashacooper1753]

Which is very surprising with all the racism Italians have been subjected to they would be better than that

[@jezebelle57]

My first thought once we know his wife is Black is that his SIL is a racist. I’m going to tell you why: there is a weird bend of mind that an awful lot of white people have about Black people only getting the bare minimum. They think that Black people have no right to good jobs, happy relationships or high salaries. And certainly no perks, unless they’re a substitute for a low salary. Shonda Rhimes who has had a succession of top tier shows that have made BILLIONS for networks was told she was asking for TOO MUCH when she asked for an extra pass to Disneyland. “Don’t you have enough?” she was asked by a Disney exec. Oprah Winfrey was denied entrance into a European store because the shopgirls decided that a Black person would never have enough money to buy anything in their store. I have personally seen white women try to sabotage black woman/white man relationships because the man treated her so well. The level of vitriol “Who does that Black bi**h think she is going out with HIM?” Especially if the man is good looking and/wealthy. If Black women are anything other than poor, saddled with umpteen illegitimate children each by a different man and on welfare, you’d be shocked at the hostility from white women. I have had my life nearly destroyed by a group of jealous white women who were furious and banded together once they discovered that I was the beloved, pampered daughter of well to do parents. I was college educated and our home was a 10 room, 4 bath old world apartment with a fireplace. I needed a separate room just for my wardrobe. I’d never talked about my background because I took it for granted. Once I showed them pictures of our beautiful collie taken in various rooms of our home, the only comments were disbelief and anger that I could live in such a beautiful place. And once they heard about the five bouquets of roses I’d received from different men, they dragged my name through the mud. So yeah, that shit is real.

[@EchoJ]

Reddit sure was doing a lot of mental gymnastics to avoid admitting SIL is simply an anti-black AH. Her behavior was clearly driven by OP's wife's race, not class or even jealousy.

[@masumi158]

I don't think she is anti-black. She's just jealous because her own husband doesn't spoil her as OP spoils his wife.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

do i you know her? No? Then you can’t say

[@Lillireify]

It's very racist of you to assume that all comments made towards someone with another color of skin are driven by racism :)

[@brianaschmidt910]

It could be both... The racism "allowing her" (so to speak) to release the jealousy. Or it could be the other way around.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@masumi158 Nah the Brother is doing some of the same stuff as OP, vacations anything the wife could need. If she is Jealous shes jealous they're happy, but OP also told us SIL has said racist things around them and calling the wife an outsider on her anniversary says a a lot. Most likely SIL projecting like hell

[@yamigoya8291]

About story 2: In Argentina, mostly on the big cities, is very normal to see unleashed dogs walking along their owners. In the capital you would even see dogs respecfully waiting for their owners outside stores and stuff like that. Saying all that though, ofc people don't trust dogsitters to have the same level of control over their dogs as they have and the leash is a must. So NTA

[@pezlover1974]

I would absolutely NOT walk any dog without a leash. The friend is unhinged to ask a friend to take on that responsibility

[@ScooterBond1970]

"You spoil your wife way too much." "I missed the part where that's any of your business."

[@tishellefrancois7840]

I can't stop crying that first OP is so wonderful oooh my heart. I wanna give them hugs oooh my heart

[@silentmuse6660]

Story 1: Bro sounds like he's projecting jealous because being an engineer didn't give him the money and glory like taking it would if he took on the family business, or Bro's wife is asking why bro can't spoil her like Op does with their wife. After update: Ah, SIL is just one of 'those' types of human being. That makes sense. Bro and SIL are perfect for each other with their 'everyone else is the problem' attitudes. Story 2: Well it's all fine and dandy if Jeffy actually does stay alongside his owners when they take him out for walks, but Op isn't them. Jeffy could very well just take off the second Op takes him out the door, and then the friend would be blaming Op for losing a beloved pet because the friend refuses to have a leash. Friend sounds like the type of people who would blame the person their dog ended up biting because 'he's so well-behaved and would never do something like this unless provoked!' After update: Yeah, I would honestly consider ending that friendship too. Icing Op out and then when they get in contact again, it's to try to 'rub' in Op's face how obedient Jeffy is? And pretty much saying how ignorant Op is? Girl, bye! Story 3: I could understand eating the food accidentally, but her blaming Op becuase he didn't make anything for the rest of them family shows the wife's true character. This is intentional incontinence. Nothing is stopping the wife from learning how to cook to help alleviate the stress her dear husband has, and it's not that hard to put a microwavable meal in the microwave, she just refuses to do so or learn because she enjoys the almost 'servant' dynamic that already in place.

[@dimsufferer9951]

Story 3 is just OP’s wife weaponizing her incompetence and OP getting fed up

[@audreym3908]

Story 3: even if someone sucks at cooking a hot meal, they can still make a salad, sandwich, or, like you said, heat up something in the microwave/air fryer.

[@Nuqutu]

It's just embarrassing when a grown adult can't feed themselves

[@Olivia-ek9ib]

Story 2: speaking from experience, do not bend to her demands. I walked dogs for a woman that had just moved to the country from the city, and swore her dogs would be fine off the leash. I guess she didn’t realize letting her dogs run around off leash at a dog park was different from letting them run around New England woods. Second time walking them they saw a deer standing several feet away and took off, and we spent a good thirty minutes chasing them all around the neighborhood. Months later I ran into the owner, and she admitted she hadn’t realized how much wildlife was around and even she had problems controlling them off leash.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

First OP and his wife have a healthy, loving relationship where they're generous and affectionate with each other, so apparently his brother and SIL find that suspicious. Just wow. Says a lot about Bro and SIL, doesn't it?

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: I've walked my pets before, I wouldn't trust them off leashes despite seeing them be aware enough of their surroundings to know watch out for traffic and stuff because it'd have taken was a single bad time for it to go badly no matter how well behaved they are, heck the OP even said they followed "85%" of the orders, 15% is HUGE when talking about possible life or death. Also it's not "abusive" just to have a leash, you can use it an abusive way maybe, but they're not inherently abusive. Honestly sounds like the poor dog's lucky to have made it this long.

[@michamocha]

S1: NTA. Some people just hate to see others happy. I do think it might be racism related because why else is she mad at the wife and not Op when the conflict was literally between him and his brother? The wife is an innocent party in this but it seems like SIL has something against her, lmao.

[@carolsimpson4422]

😂 op broke the bro code- it's no fair treating his wife so well cause all the other wives will realize what assholes their husbands are 😂

[@mossynovels]

Story 2: my cat was attacked and killed by a dog a few months ago at the start of the summer. Its still unclear to me whether the dog was off leash or broke away from its owner. It was a young dog, normally well behaved. Apparently got "startled" by a blind cat under a tree across the front lawn. You just never know how a dog will react sometimes.

[@nareegreel]

I've been attacked by dogs, the owners SWEAR is just the friendliest dog ever! I did nothing but minding my business on a walk. Scared me so bad that I started walking with weapons to protect myself from people unleashed, super "friendly" dogs.

[@aurorathedragonlady2728]

I really do not like dog owners that don't use a leash. Granted where I live you have to have a dog on one if you have them on a walk. That's not a friend and I'm glad OP just cut that friendship. If your friend is not okay with something then you don't try and push them! It's not hard people.

[@michaeldowson6988]

If that dog is ever taken to a kennel, the first thing they'll do is put a leash on it, or pen it up.

[@ondank]

Dog story : Hes trained and walks beside me and stops when I stop ... if he is on a leash he can't explore Which is it? Because those are two very contradictory things. NTA

[@DameNickum]

Many City’s have leash laws. It’s abuse to walk a dog WITHOUT a leash. You are not protecting your friend by allowing an off the leash animal down a busy street. The dog can be startled, it can be distracted or frightened and run into trouble.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@RoseKoneko]

Hey, good to see you!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@RoseKoneko good to see you too 🤗🤗💜💜

[@P.H.R.O.G]

As a veterinary nurse of eight years, I’ve seen too many dogs that have been hit by cars thanks to owners not walking them on leads. Many of them lose limbs, need over £3k worth of surgery, or unfortunately pass away. It infuriates me when people don’t walk their dogs on leads, it’s so irresponsible!!!

[@MisterNightfish]

Never let anyone meddle with your marriage / relationship. That's between you and your partner and as long as you both are happy, everyone else can go kick sand and pound rocks for all I care. There are so many people that are miserable and instead of bettering themselves to be happy, they try to drag others down to their level. Just no.

[@johnathandiscua6176]

Story 2: had a very well trained dog. Very obedient, well behaved, never had any problems the whole time I had her. Except one time, I got pretty comfortable having her of the leash since she was insanely well behaved but she ended up chasing a car down the road. I was livid, mostly out of shock, and immediately got her inside and reprimanded. I have no idea what could have possibly brought up the behavior but the most well behaved dog can surprise you with bad behavior sometimes. She's never out without a leash nowadays unless we're at the park.

[@catT5236]

Story three: OP is absolutely NTA. Seriously, WTAF?! She can't make a sandwich, or boil sone pasta? Would she just wither & die if OP was in an accident & in hospital for a month? She can't grab a takeaway? Seems like she's being defensive & calling hom selfish because she doesn't want to admit she was wrong & apologise. I had an Aunt like that, she'd be downright nasty to avoid saying thank you or apologising. It doesn't ever work out well. Also if someone called me selfish for not cooking for one day when I do all the cooking I'd not only stop cooking for them but everything else & I'd insist on marriage counselling so they can understand just how ridiculous they're being. He's not her live in cook.

[@Swnsasy]

Story 2: When TF does walking a dog with a lead abuse?! She is not the owner so at times it is well behaved but that isn't to say he would be with OP... A good dog owner would know this!! Unbelievable that she thinks a lead is abuse, insanity....

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

Wife in the last story sounds like a real delight

[@jessicawolfe5861]

Story 2: the dog doesn’t know her. She can’t trust that he will follow her commands. And if I was on a busy street with an unfamiliar dog, I’d feel very uncomfortable. Dogs need boundaries. He’s not going to get upset with a leash. “They don’t know my dog” only goes so far till the dog attacks someone or runs into traffic.

[@DerekScottBland]

Story 1 - if SIL is upset, she needs to learn a basic rule of life... if you don't like being accused of being a racist, don't say things that racists like to say.

[@ricaivory6571]

First story, sil is racist, BUT mom and sister are GOLDEN. She is A racist. You don't have to call a black person a nigga to be racist.

[@chrismichaels462]

I hope Poppy ok and wasn't hurt. Take care, Mark and Poppy

[@phoenixsky6124]

Twice she’s told you that you are not experienced enough for a dog.

[@janbentzen6814]

This guy in the first story is not asking if he's an AH. He is just tooting his own horn

[@KarmatheCorgi]

I literally watched an innocent dog get hit by a car because their owner let them run loose in the neighborhood and I was out walking my dog. It was horrifying and the little boy had to come out and see his poor pup had passed away all because the dad couldn't be arsed to keep the dog safe and contained. Hug your fur babies close and for the good of all... please... keep your cats indoors and your dogs leashed!

[@DameiusLameocrates]

S2 if I let my brother's dog go for a walk without a leash, he would LITERALLY run into the road and get hit. He tries it even with the leash. Won't catch me walking someone elses dog without a leash

[@ondank]

Last story : I find it so frustrating when people give ESH ratings for bad communication when one side is intentionally making the communication bad. The wife doesn't want to admit that she has been horribly selfish to steal OPs food. What exactly can OP do with that. How exactly can he communicate with someone intentionally communicating poorly? If I were a betting man, I would put money on the wife being unhappy about OP sticking to the diet whilst she hasn't.

[@namayra299]

Yea the question wasn't if they had bad communication. It was specifically for the situation in which OP was very much not the asshole. Imagine being hungry all day and seeing there's no food left for dinner either. And then being called selfish. It's not like OP can just order in either since he's trying to eat healthy etc. Some of the reddit takes are so off the mark. Atleast majority were on OPs side in this one.

[@bautistalover]

But that’s the thing this wasn’t a case of bad communication OP clearly communicated what was up. His wife just didn’t care and did what she wanted. ESH and communication is just the go to response when they can’t bare the fact that it’s solely one persons fault(typically the woman) and they want to find a way to share the blame.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: it is not animal abuse to put a leash on a dog. It doesn’t matter how will behave. The dog is. It doesn’t matter that he will stop and sit. When is humans stop during their walks. It’s like what Mark said. It just takes one thing to cause a dog to get some type of aggressive behavior or run out into the road She really needs to learn that just because her dog perfectly obey is her. It doesn’t mean he’s going at the same behavior with someone else taking command of him. The fact that she turned her camera onto a dog to show how well trained he was… Completely irrelevant his master was giving him the commands, which is why he obeyed his master. There’s a strong possibility he was not going to be that obedient to OP.

[@pietracassolrigatti]

Story 2: "friend" is contradicting herself. If OP has no knowledge of dogs, why is she asking OP to walk the dog? Pff.

[@alyzu4755]

"The outsider"?!?!? WTF?!?!? Who does she think she is, a Plantagenet?

[@TheHellsHobbit]

Story 2 NTA, The dog will sense your uneasiness and may act out, a leash is a good training tool for when another person walks the dog. As a former German shepherd breeder and just common sense, the leash protects you, owner and the dog from harm. She should not be a dog owner

[@ollieaur]

Story 2: We had a super smart staffie that would follow all commands so well. I only ever walked her off leash for a short stretch of land in our neighbourhood, and even then I always had a leash with me so if a car or another dog came, I could leash her. Everywhere else we had her leashed more or less with some small exceptions, like if we were in a familiar yard where she knew the boundaries. Not having her leashed or the option to leash her would be negligent of me. She has since passed and I still miss her so much. Her name was Frida

[@ISIIN15]

as long as its mutual pampering each other is a good healthy relationship

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA No leash, no dog walking. There are just too many variables.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: Gigantic NTA, and I'm surprised OP didn't relieve his brother of a few teeth! He and his bish wife can eat concrete. OP should never allow them back into his home unless they have a real apology. Update: Remember drunken words are true words. OP should be wary of his brother, and definitely go NC with the SiL. She's never going to change, not ever.

[@juliabanes204]

1st post: NTA. That was one thing my ex-wife and I enjoyed doing, rambling between shops at birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc, to discover an odd item that we knew the other would appreciate and enjoy. 2nd post: NTA. I've house-sat with many different animals (incl expensive koi, snakes, birds, horses, rescued animals that need special attention) and if there's a dog, I agree to only take them out on a leash. NEVER walking loose beside me. I grew up with all kinds of animals and it's just generally better if the pup is leashed. Once closed safely in the park, sure, just not loose in public! 3rd post: NTA. Need communication between them

[@baileymch7088]

Dude the first story is just so sweet and thats how everyone should be treated lol

[@wessexdruid7598]

First story - my immediate reaction is they're judging brother by their own relationship - which is, in fact, the one which is the bad marriage.

[@leahrenea2709]

Story 2: I have a little Yorkie who is off leash 90% of the time. I live in a really small town and he is well trained. However there's no way I would let anyone else walk him off leash. Not even family. It's not worth the risk. Off leash requires trust. Not just for me to trust him, but also for him to trust me to keep him safe.

[@lorianabanana6066]

I lost my sweet elderly pomaranian this year. He was such a good boy and always listened, partly because he was afraid of everything and stuck to me like glue lol. I still ALWAYS had him on a leash. Not so much for him, but for everything else that could harm him. I always put him in a body harnass so I wouldn't choke him, because more than once I had to elevate him to get him away from other dogs or over excited kids, even a hawk once. Just because you trust your dog doesn't mean you should trust the rest of the world.

[@catking1059]

My sister has a corgi with damn near perfect recall. Her heel is impeccable. Back when my dog was alive and would slip his lead (I tried so many different collars, leashes harnesses, don’t get me started), she would stay right next to me through the chaos. He is passed, she is here. I do not walk her without a leash. My sister has bought a leash specifically for me to be able to watch her dog. I owned an aggressive dog, I know that if a dog is attacked, the onus is on the owner of the unleashed dog, whether they were the one to attack or not.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. My husband spoiled me, and we had a good marriage. It was his love language to bring me home little things that he knew I would love. There is absolutely nothing the matter with spoiling your partner. And it doesn't take a lot of money to do it. I think OP's brother an sis in law are jealous. I think the word was supposed to be YAPPING. lol 2. Most jurisdictions in the US have leash laws. Keep your dog on a lead or you are asking for trouble. OP's friend is being stupid if you ask me. It's not abuse to have a dog on a leash. Sheesh. My daughter in laws dog is such a great girl. Our front yard isn't fenced, and we have forgotten her out there a few times, she just lays in the porch. But the other day, a mama wild turkey w/her babies was strolling by the front and she took off after them like lightening. 3. Wife sounds a bit like a pig to me. She needs to learn how to cook too.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S2: leash laws are made for owners who think their dogs are "very well trained" but at the same time "need to explore".

[@lori4762]

Story 2 Jeffy is not OP's dog so it would be safer for him on a leash. Her friend would blame her if anything happened to Jeffy because he's not on a leash.

[@greninjastorm6734]

Leashing your dog is not ABUSE, it's KEEPING YOUR DAMN DOG SAFE

[@sadraccoonboy]

Broooo the couple in story 1 sounds so fricken cute what a guy that op is 🥺