I Removed ALL THE HOME IMPROVEMENTS I Made To My Parents Home Now They Want Me Out r/AITA

[@elaexplorer]

People are misinterpreting what OP meant by sockets. It's the smart sockets you screw into the regular socket to make it communicate with Alexa, not the actual wall socket.

[@toysruskid5074]

Well, there are smart wall sockets, but as he said, anything he removed he replaced with a basic one. And even with that it's likely an upgrade from what originally was there.

[@clarehidalgo]

@@toysruskid5074 The OP in story 1 is female

[@The.S.M.Evans.91]

Story 1: See, OP's parents were just trying to take advantage of the upgrades hy kicking her out. Way to try to emotionally manipulate your kids. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon. Glad OP stood up for herself.

[@KyrieChii]

This was my thought too, it's pretty interesting how little time there seemed to be between the room's expensive tech upgrades & their 'desperate need for alone time'. I'm not saying they shouldn't have asked their (adult) kid to move out, they have every right as parents (& the home owners) to do so for whatever reason, & wanting time without any kids in the house (grown or otherwise) is fine & to be expected. But their expectation that everything OP worked for, paid for, & installed to better their own living space, be left behind as charity or a gift (like everything that entered the house was somehow theirs by default, even with OP paying rent) was wrong of them. I don't know what the 'YTA' people were thinking. They returned the room to even better condition than it was in initially (fresh patch jobs, replaced equipment like sockets, fresh paint job) without complaint.

[@Callimo]

@@KyrieChii The "yta" comments are "but faaaamily" sycophants who either have been steamrolled by their own families to overlook a lot of questionable behavior by them or they ARE the parental types who would guilt their adult children into leaving things that kid bought for themselves "for the house". Really transparent you see :>

[@carolroberts4614]

They even wanted her 60" tv!

[@robertx8020]

@@carolroberts4614 a 60"" isn't that expensive so if they really wanted one they could use OP's rent money to pay for one ;)

[@havyellowmoneydinero1378]

Being that she was 25 it seems pretty reasonable that they would think it was time for her to leave the nest, and it's very likely her 'improvements' weren't even considered until she started taking them and they realized they'd have to live without them after getting use to them. I don't think it is emotional manipulation to expect your kids to grow up, in fact I think it's kind of expected (unless she lives in a place were it's the norm to stay w/ mom and dad till marriage), although it is weird to think she would leave the tv being that she would need one in her new house.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: the parents are salty because they asked OP to move out so they could move into her room and have all the cool toys she paid for.

[@erickaennis2738]

Exactly. That's pretty slimy. I'm glad OP took his stuff back. NTA.

[@waltdoherty540]

Yep. It's actually what they wanted.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: people who say YTA don’t seem to understand that this kind of thing is common practice.

[@KyrieChii]

Or they're doormats who don't see the manipulation for what it is. They're acting like OP was freeloading off her parents when that was clearly not the case. These weren't things THEY purchased or paid the extra to power/use, I just don't understand some people's interpretations in these judgements.

[@bbjjbb61]

I'm sorry, what? That commenter in the last story saying OP is a bit of an asshole for telling her sister she hopes never has kids is idiotic. There comes a point where politeness and kindness goes out the window. As emotionally mature adults we understand that when someone we love is hurting, even if we've never been in that particular situation, we're supposed to support and listen to them. However, once that person crosses a line into completely destroying all our baby's items while our toddlers are helplessly either watching/hearing/seeing the time for politeness is over. This woman doesn't have the mental stability to be around children, let alone have one herself. Idc how hard your life is, you do not destroy/steal/take from others. That woman's parents are absolutely ridiculous for suggesting words said somehow outweigh the destruction of someone else's property ffs.

[@harryh4h720]

A child can't be a parent

[@harryh4h720]

Also the sister is so stupid like OP was willing to surrogate for her so she had that option but doing this obviously cuts that option off if she wants a child now she needs a miracle or ivf/adoption both of which have there own troubles being financial and we'll her lack of mental stability

[@amberaseltine3012]

The wirdest thing is the parents says "After all she done for you". Yes she stayed and watch twin3 year old when she gavr birth. Buy she want taking care of them at all but put them in danger. That doesnt make since unless we are missing something.

[@simonO712]

@@harryh4h720 It _shouldn't_ be, but it can.

[@atinyevil1383]

That's a big thing people are missing; Sister didn't JUST do that to OP. She destroyed things for a BABY. A baby that wasn't even born into the world when she destroyed them. She took her anger out on the property of an infant that did nothing to her. If she's willing to do that, what would she do to bigger children who upset her? Based on that, she doesn't deserve children.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The parents are ridiculous and entitled. They wanted OP to leave the home, but also leave the things she purchased. You can't have it both ways. Some people called it spite, but I don't see how it could be. OP returned it to the OG state.

[@GLoLChibs]

It's spite because she legit said her parents asked their 25 year old daughter to finally move out. That's part why she took it. By her logic her parents should demand repayment for everything they ever provided for her in her 25 years living there. Taking everything in her room was understandable but anything outside of that? She is petty af, hope she never needs help with anything.

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@GLoLChibs Parents morally and legally must take care of children, not the other way around. As far OP's adult years, it's reasonable to assume a "fat" rent means close to market rate, so I'm playing a tiny violin for them there. If that's the case, a renter's only obligation is to return a space to its original state + plus reasonable wear and tear. With all the fixing and new (if not smart) fixtures OP installed, arguably it's BETTER than original state.

[@4NeonFun]

@@GLoLChibslol

[@almostrevan8230]

@@GLoLChibs bro it’s not like she was living in her parents home rent free. She rented, meaning that if they were not her parents there would be no difference. She wanted her stuff so her “landlord” doesn’t keep them.

[@kasugaifox8571]

It was a Tennant and landlord issue.

[@sagesaria]

"Having a good relationship with your parents should be on your list." So...OP should let them steal all of their expensive devices? Cause it seems like the parents sure aren't making keeping a good relationship with their kid a priority either.

[@robertx8020]

This commenter might just bhe one of those parents who believe that kids own their parents something?

[@nela3986]

My thought exactly. Based on was described here they seem like they don't give two f*cks about OP. Could be because we just heard one side of the story, but they sound like arses.

[@MyUniqueBeauty]

Exactly, it goes both ways.

[@JLee-gm6jx]

So if the roles were reverse, would the parents allow OP to keep all the stuff the bought for themselves in OPs house

[@heartears]

Them insisting on him leaving the 60" 1 year old smart tv as a "gift" just solidified to me they're just entitled

[@OkamiLyra]

Why are some poeple calling the first OP an asshole? It doesn't matter how much rent OP paid, those are HER things and no matter what she doesn't owe her parents any of the stuff she bought with her own money. They don't have a right to their daughter's things. EDIT STORY 2: Jesus, I'm also hoping that woman never has children. Someone who will fly into a rage when someone has done all they can to be loving and supportive is NOT fit for parenthood.

[@darkmask5933]

Final story, complete NTA even with OP saying something so terrible to her sister, fuck being "polite" to people like that. Frankly OP was right, sis spent hours destroying every baby item in the room, this wasn't something that took 10 seconds, she spent long amounts of time destroying every item, and having to push herself to keep going over and over again until she destroyed every piece. Woman is unhinged and frankly she shouldn't be a mother in that case. There's a reason people like the sister are put on no adopt lists.

[@SummonerOrthan]

Anyone who can fly in a rage like that does not ever need to be a parent

[@ashh4929]

For real and when the hell did it become OK to coddle people like that? She has a "rage breakdown" (I'm still on the fence with how random this "breakdown" was but for posterity, let's say it was spontaneous. ) caused thousands in damages while OP was in the middle of labor while watching children who are her own kin and completely uprooted that whole households mental and financial state, not to mention while the mother and child's physically recovering. But her poor feewings are hurt and suddenly OP is the bad guy for not being P.C. after all that?! That is complete and utter bull. And if her mental stability is THAT bad, than she needs to be on a 72 hour psych hold at minimum.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

In front of children no less, and then blame the Kids. THIS IS childabuse before she had even Kids. No she should definite doesn't have Kids. It is a good thing OP found out before she was a surogat.

[@kellywaters643]

@@SummonerOrthan this right here

[@PrimateProductions]

@@ashh4929 agree 100%

[@andredunbar3773]

Story 2 had an update. Apparently, OP and his husband would be the talk of the town whenever they stayed in the motel, with his aunt and uncle being some of the biggest shit talkers. OP's Dad proved himself to be true to his words of support by evicting the freeloading Uncle and Aunt.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

Yup. And the motel owner was a two-faced 'friend' who made sure the gossip travelled.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "They complained I made the house worse." No, you just returned it to its original condition. Since you paid them rent, tell them as their tenant, that is a common tenant's responsibility, to return the property to its original state. If they're used to the house being smart, they can pay for their own upgrades. NTA. S2: NTA, bigots get no sympathy from me. Any flying monkey family members that are harassing you, are welcome to take them in (watch them trip all over themselves with excuses as to why they can't). They literally bit the hand that housed them.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Exactly, if you replace parents with "landlord" then people can see how ridiculous they're being.

[@toshi9742]

It’s the ‘but your dad was going to move into your room’ that secured the NTA for me. Clearly they planned to use OP’s purchases for themselves (and could be argued it was a factor in why they ended up kicking them out- ie ‘oh if we kick OP out their renovated room is ours’). Like. No. At least offer to pay for the things but as it’s written, it seems the parents expected OP to ‘gift’ them everything

[@bloxnirogaming5269]

For story 1: OP'S parents became landlords when they starded charginy rent. Op bought all the amenities and paid rent to live there. Op keeps what he pays.

[@joeschmo622]

"Ooooooh! You really improved this place Nice! Now *get out!* And leave all your shiite behind because *we* want it!" Yeah... no.

[@LisaApril]

The last commenters wrong about the first story. I had a crappy shower rod and bought a new one and when I left I put the crappy one back in and took my new one. The towel rods were old and not attractive and I put in new pretty towel rods. When I left put the old ones back in and took my new ones with me. When a place is not yours you’re supposed to leave it in the condition you found it. That they were her parents really didn’t matter especially if she needed the things for her new place and to not double spend the money on those items.

[@sweetsugarystars2378]

Story 2: I never understand people who say being gay is a "bad influence" and "there's children in the house." 1. Why are you bothered by gay people's sex lives? Why is that the first thing you go to when you think of gay people? Hmmm. Sounds like a you problem. 2. Being gay is not just having sex. Hell, some people are gay and *never* have sex for their own reasons. NTA. You wanna be a bigot? You face the consequences of being one.

[@wildone9946]

The second one is something I have tried to convey to my parents when they found out about me and my gf (gay and ace relationship). It's so annoying

[@robertx8020]

Ppl that are 'into god' this much stop thinking for themself! Btw Jesus must have been gay too ..so .,...

[@peteranon8455]

The concept of "being gay as a bad influence" goes out the window when the uncle doesn't own the house he lives in. If your argument is that a cookie cutter society is the best, you'd better make sure you have enough dough for the cookies.

[@jackchop1576]

He said he is bisexual and you are a biphobic bigot for calling him gay and are no better than the people you think you are calling out.

[@beegee1960]

I got the impression in the moving out story, that the parents deliberately waited until OP made the improvements, and then asked her to leave, because it was only a few months later.

[@RedOnly]

They waited until op made the rooms as nice/comfortable as possible and then said we want alone time.... Parents should have offered to cover costs to leave it.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

The fact that their plan was to _move into her room_ makes your point 100% clear. They thought they were getting an upgrade to move into on OP's coin after they got a trial run of the smart products with her paying the difference in electricity.

[@AndyyWithAY]

People like the sister piss me. You beg and demand the truth then you call the person a liar and disregard everything they tell you. If you can't handle the truth, don't ask for it. NTA.

[@robertx8020]

We can only hope that one day OP's sister finds out the truth so OP can tell her "I don't believe you ...your superdad would never do that to you " Just kidding I would still help the 'hero worshipper'

[@Spagettigeist]

@@robertx8020 Actually, I think the sister might have already seen the cracks in her dad's mask. And that's likely why she insisted on the truth. But she's probably not quite ready to accept the truth yet, hence the violent denying. But yeah, I do think she's starting to see her dad change and maybe what OP told her can help her get out there sooner rather than later.

[@silentmuse6660]

Story 1: Uhhh, how is Op entitled? They bought those things. Parents wanted them out, Op replaced everything that was theirs with new things but not smart things. Op was paying for the extra electricity the smart things ran on so the parent bills would have increased, so taking the smart things out was probably a good idea anyway, but Op is entitled? The parents are entitled! Op didn't just rip out every smart thing and leave the room with many holes, she replaced everything with more common stuff. But the parents wanted the smart stuff even though they didn't pay for them! The parents had forgotten that all they were benefiting from was because Op put it there and let them used it. Was Op just expected to leave all their furniture behind like some sort of free interior decorator?

[@TiffWaffles]

She returned everything the way it was before she made the changes. Even in an American court, the judge would dismiss the parents' claim if they tried to sue. OP wasn't entitled. Those commenters are probably similar to OP's parents. That one commenter going on about 'fat pay' as if they knew what they were talking about. Fat pay is a slang term for a whole shit load of money.

[@Swnsasy]

ROFLOL what in the entitlement and selfishness is going on here?! The parents are ridiculous.. She just took out what SHE bought and if they want it, go buy it for themselves.. Wow, how entitled!!

[@indiashante1560]

Story 1: The parents are mad. They can stay mad. Lmao if OP was a paid rent they had every right to leave with whatever they purchased. Op also went out the way to return the house to its original state so the parents really can't complain.

[@garysprandel1817]

Parents wanted OP out in order to enjoy all the improvements. Back in the mid 90s our gaming group was friends with a fellow that was president of an association that ran a small meeting hall that sat empty most of the time when not being used for events so after a number of break ins and vandalism events we were offered use of the hall to hang out for gaming, LAN parties, etc. Guy who was president had 3 or 4 coin op video games in the back room and over the years we contributed improvements ourselves as well such as a big screen projection TV( anime nerds what can I say) etc. We'd usually arrive on a Friday night and a good chunk of the crew would crash at the place and pack up Sunday morning and we'd of course stay clear if an event was scheduled for the hall. After about 8 years of this set up several of the trustees had changed out and a couple of the new trustees noticed the big screen, the games and the other improvements and started thinking the hall was wasted on this group of nerds and would be a perfect man cave for Saturday sports events and Sunday football etc and lobbied and campaigned to be appointed president of the association and were successful in getting the friend voted out and promptly informed the president that as soon as they were officially in charge we were out. Of course they were informed that all non association properties would be removed and a weekend was set up to allow the people to remove the items they brought in under their supervision obviously. Apparently they must have thought the items we were removing were some computer components from the back storage and some board games in a closet or maybe some kitchen items because they were surprised AF when several pick ups and Uhaul type box trucks pulled up and completely start to lose their crap when one of the first things the moving crew went for was to unplug and disconnect the big screen TV and start rolling to the door, screaming that was association property and to put it back or police would be called. The looks on their faces when the guy pulled out the old warranty stuff with the original receipt attached ( God love us nerds never throwing anything away) and even more screaming when the guys walked in with the appliance dollies and began unplugging and dismantling the larger coin op games and rolling those out and again proof of ownership being provided. In the end they just kind of stood there with hang dog faces as they watched their boys club/man cave walk out the door. Funny thing is we had no problems with sharing had they asked but they wanted it at any time they wanted and never once considered all the cool stuff wasn't association property and ended up with a fairly empty meeting hall and played themselves.

[@moonbear5929]

4th story: So, if OP's toddlers trashed all the baby things, why didn't her sister stop them? Why let the destruction go on that long to that extreme? If that is true, and sis didn't stop the destruction caused by two 3 year olds, then she's a lousy baby sitter. The children could have been hurt creating that much destruction. OP knows it's a lie, which means the sister did all that destruction, which means she's STILL rather unstable and unhinged. Another reason why she shouldn't have children. So, if what OP said to her sister about she hopes sis never has kids might seem mean, she is not unjust in saying so. Sis is an angry, jealous, vengeful, unstable and dangerous person. She should not have kids if this is the kind of thing that has sat deep in her soul for that long. She has no business being around children. I can only imagine how the twins might have felt to see their aunt destroy their bedroom. I bet it was scary. Even little children know when something is wrong, and having something like that happen in their own house, in their room makes them feel vulnerable and unsafe in their own house. It can cause some psychological trauma. If sis took out that much revenge on inanimate objects, I have to wonder if she did anything to the twins themselves. Hind sight is 20/20 but OP should have had Nanny cams running in the bedroom if she doesn't already. If she does have cams and it captured Sis destroying the room, it should be shown to every one in the family who thinks OP was being unfair to sis. Ask them how would they like sis trashing one of their rooms which small children watching? Ask them if they would want sis to babysit their small defenseless children. Sis needs to seek some massive counseling/therapy. If I were OP, I would definitely keep my kids FAR away from sis from then on out. Obviously she cant be trusted. And any one else who is poo-pooing OP's stance can also get bent!

[@zebnemma]

The sis is also very dumb and impulsive. She finaly had a chance to have a kid since OP offered to be a surogate. She blew the one chance she had. And all for jealousy. Yep if she's that impulsive maybe it's a hidden blessing that she's infertile. OP was right. Impulsive people can become dangerous and she has already shown she is capable of violence by destroying a whole ass room!!! I've had fits of rage in the past and still happens from time to time but I've never wanted to destroy other peoples things, I've always thrashed my own things/taken anger out on myself. But it's dangerous when a person does the opposite and takes anger out on others, what the sister did is a telling sign what she will do if she gets angry with her future kids for example. Maybe it's good that she exposed her true nature, otherwise OP would have become a surrogate for her sister that will abuse the kid in the future.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Am i the AH for not leaving my stuff so the people kicking me out can benefit from them? Lol, no.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Op literally paid for all of that plus rent. It's theirs to do what they want with. You don't get to tell someone to leave then complain when they take _their_ stuff with them 🤨 It's like that Op who redid their backyard then took the stuff with them when they moved out. If someone pays for something, you don't get to demand they leave it behind (within reason of course, it depends on what was bought) Edit to add: My parent and I have an agreement that anything _I_ pay for goes with me when I leave so I don't have to worry about getting it later. They would never demand I leave things behind just because they couldn't be bothered to get their own or "because they're the parent"

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

She also paid for the raised energy cost without regard to the parents also benefitting from it.

[@sannahayes832]

I would love to have an update to that final story. Thank you Mark for all of your hard work, & your lovely voice. Hugs to you and all of the Waffle Gang!

[@someoneelse4710]

Markee! Story 2 has an update! I saw it on another channel. Turns out there were a lot of gossips in town that spoke negatively about op and his husband when they stayed at the hotel, run by a family friend who was kind to their faces and talked shit behind their back. Aunt and Uncle were very involved in the shit talking. They were embarrassed about it though so offered their house to avoid inciting more gossip. They said some nasty things about op to his parents defending their actions, THEN they were evicted. The parents tried to keep mum about it to keep from hurting their son/sil's feelings but eventually got questioned by the op iirc.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta they kick you to the curve then think they get to keep everything. That's what happens when you try to run your own kids pockets.

[@cryofist]

*curb

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'd heard all these before, but it just hits different(better) when you read it, Mark. My favorite thing about this channel is that you hear us and give us what we want. I always love a classic AITA video.

[@KyrieChii]

Agreed, Mark always brings something a little 'extra' to the stories he narrates :)

[@sannahayes832]

It is Mark's voice and commentary. I love hearing everything he narrates. His ability to tell stories and entertain goes above and beyond everyone else. I'm proud to be a member of the Waffle Gang!

[@podunk_woman]

I think the parents got envious of OPs stuff and decided to kick OP out to take it for themselves

[@Mewse1203]

Stpry 1, NTA OP made improvements in the room she was renting and allowed her landlords/roommates some use of thkse materials. They wanted her out, which is fine. They don't get to let her improve her quality of life, kick her our, and they keep her stuff. They kicked her out thinking that was the case and THAT is what is selfish.

[@HackiePuffs]

Man story 3 hits me on a personal level. I know my mom probably didn’t intend to make me hate my dad but she always talked about him like he was the devil himself and that she was always a perfect little angel. Btw there was no abuse involved they just had a hard time managing the same household and raising a child together. I still internalized all this and took it out on my dad by pushing him away. If I was the sister I would definitely want to know what was really happening in the family she doesn’t deserve to be lied to.

[@rangeraero]

Story 1: I doubt the parents or the OP exist in a vacuum, so the parents likely knew when OP started removing those improvements, and likely had time to negotiate for those items to be left behind. Instead, they expected to keep them, and complained about losing them, instead of getting off their asses and paying for or reinstalling the changes. One does not patch a hole in an exterior wall without serious, obvious work. NTA.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: she isn’t a child, mom. She is a legal adult. She is going to want to hear the truth about her manipulative father who turned her against you, her mother. OP is NTA for telling her sister why she left, even because she didn’t want to be treated the way her mom did

[@UchuKejiMovan]

That 3 part comment was just stupid. OP is under no obligation whatsoever to leave anyfreakingthing at their former residence. Just because that commenter would just leave the stuff doesn't mean OP had to

[@Davtwan]

Imagine biting the hand that feeds you despite knowing better and then whining over them being offended about the bite. Their way of life will someday die out, and the people who read about them will only laugh and shake their heads.

[@KCCAT5]

That last story is insane. I just have to wonder what kind of torture did she put your children through while she was in the house? Did she take it out on them as well? And since they're only three they probably can't articulate to you what happened

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 The aunt and uncle are truly horrible. OP and husband didn't mind getting a motel as they always have. They INSISTED OP stay there then were so rude and bigoted. OP wanted to buy a room to sleep as they like. This is classic f**k around and find out. It sucks for the kids, but the aunt and uncle deserve this. This was a powerplay and it failed. Thankful that OP has such supportive parents.

[@amberaseltine3012]

This might be looking back and could done. But if he stod up and said I'm calling my dad and let him know what you think and feel about my marrage and this house. Walk out and leave and never come back. Then they can't blame you fot making them loss of home because you didnt threat anything just info someone who need to know what they thought.

[@wessexdruid7598]

There is an update, re the motel - it gets worse. Scroll up the comments.

[@AppleStrawberryLove]

Story 3: I have an abusive father who used similar tactics when we lived with him. My mom left him because she saw he was starting to turn on me and basically went "Nope. You don't touch my kids." And yes, my dad even has pulled the "Don't believe your mother. She's crazy" line on us... about things we actually watched him do. (Really, so she's crazy and my eyes just... imagined that incident? Okay, buddy. Sure.) My brother is more connected to him still and one time got mad at me for not staying close with our dad and going very close to no contact (long story short, my dad called me up drunk to yell at me for not talking to him after he ignored several big events). My mom ended up telling my brother to drop it and that I had had different experiences than him with our dad and that it wasn't his place to tell me how to deal with that. Sad as it is, same with this girl and her sister. It sucks, but you can't force her to believe you nor are you wrong for warning her. Sometimes people won't believe the truth or see it until they experience it personally. And abusers can be very good at hiding their dark side. I've had women ask me why my "catch" of a dad is single still since the divorce. He's very charming... so long as you're not family/someone he feels he should be in charge of.

[@OpticalArxenal]

Honestly, I almost think the last story, the sister destroyed the stuff to take over the new kid, but I'm overly suspicious of people in general

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Story 1, some people are not aware of how costs work in other places, plus costs can vary depending on your skill. The smart things the parents wanted all likely rely on a hub that the OP has, they won't work without it. Replacing smart things can be VERY costly, we are currently smarting our house and a single light bulb costs 50 dollars on special, and that is one of the more reasonably priced brands. Hubs and desks can be very expensive and depending on your set-up you NEED certain things to run other things, it is very customised and takes a lot of research. Patching an AC hole CAN be complex or simple, cheap or expensive. Some people can easily do it themselves or spend as little as 200 bucks to patch it. A standard AC that is decent quality is at least triple that and if they have smart air con and integration devices that could be 2k at least, easily. That is where I am from. People are trying to say maybe the parents did the laundry etc but also...they liked and benefited from the system OP had set up, they had all agreed on certain terms. Leaving them with what sounds like at LEAST 5-10k of tech that they would have to replace when they have just bought a house is not realistic.

[@ddjohnson3961]

Story one: NTA. Story 2: NTA. Story 3: NTA.Story 4:always press charges.

[@niyablake]

Story 2 has a juice up date. OP dad flipped out when the uncle called op a F*G and was talking shit about op

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

Story 1: If you move, you take your stuff with you. Its like if your land lord wanted you too leave your furniture behind

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 2: NTA, and this just strikes me as bizarre because of their insistence that you stay with them. That's the real kicker for me. It's not like your family still owns the house, and obligates them to put you up when you visit your old hometown. And you and your hubby were sensitive to the potential problem of a conflict in moral values, and happily stayed in a motel when you visited. They literally brought this on themselves by insisting they would be hospitable ... and then not being hospitable. It was like they wanted to create a situation to make you and your husband feel awful. And that being the case, yes, it's sad about your cousins, but they deserve what they got. You even gave them the opportunity to apologize after you made your threat.

[@angelaguisbert1773]

I wasn't sure about the first story until OP said they wanted her to leave her TV too. That's crazy

[@myrabeth77]

Story 1: Treat a housemate like a tenant, you get treated like a landlord. Treat them like family (in the household for the purposes of mutual practical and emotional support), you get treated like family. The parents played themselves.

[@geminidawn7315]

I can't possibly see how someone taking their smart devices, furniture and widow/wall mounted a.c. could be an asshole move. It's not like they ripped out and h-vac system or something.

[@judev3197]

1st story: how can you treat your kids like that? Parents are so entitled. NTA.

[@Butterism]

I can relate to the guilt for Story 3. For YEARS my dad spoke poorly about my mom to me. I was wrapped around his finger and believed the worst things about my mom. I thought she was a horrible person, mother, and wife. Dad showed his true colors to me when I was a teenager. And then I felt like the worst daughter ever. I've apologized to my mom tons of times, but I still feel guilty. Logically, I know that it wasn't my fault and my dad was just shitty, but still. My Mom is the best and for years I only saw and acknowledged her worst.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

NTA! If her parents want a smart home they get it themselves!

[@believeinshadows139]

If I was in OPs situation and the parents came to me and said “we love all the changes you made to improve the home can we pay you a lump sum to kickstart your new place and keep some of this stuff hear”? I would have given most of it to them for free. When they showed there entitlement to keep there own kids hard work as if it was owed to them that is the second they would get nothing. And for them to keep pushing compound the idea in my mind the parents from the start of asking him to leave till now didn’t give a fuck about there kid and just wanted to use all the nice thing there kid worked for. They showed there true colors the second they complained

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: too bad the parents are more concerned about the items leaving making the house worse, instead of the child leaving making the house worse. You go on to your own smart house, OP; that is, anywhere you're away from your parents.

[@katecooper3410]

Story 2: NTA. It sucks that the kids are homeless, but that's aunt and uncle's fault. It also teaches them a lifelong lesson of: if you're gonna be hateful to people, you will face negative consequences

[@cm06c]

Press charges and Sue omg

[@janicewilcox8590]

All your sister had to do was keep her shit together for one day. That's literally it. And then you were going to give her a baby. But no. She let her jealousy destroy her chance of being a mother. If she can't control herself for one day and tries to blame her actions on toddlers she does need to be responsible for a child full time. But watch. She'll still expect you to carry a baby for her after all of this.

[@TailsFan]

I think after all this, she'll be lucky to see OP anywhere but a courtroom after the police are called. Destruction of property AND child endangerment? She's not getting that surrogate baby.

[@janicewilcox8590]

@@TailsFan no she definitely should absolutely NOT get the surrogate baby. She's coocoo nuts. And yes I think OP should 100% should call the cops and press charges. But I almost guarantee you she's still gonna expect OP to give her a baby like none of this ever happened.

[@dianemartel5205]

Story 1: F**k around and find out, parents.

[@lucere3674]

I get why people might think OP is the AH in story one. Taking everything out seems like a super petty thing to do. But smart items can be super expensive and even the smaller things can cost a pretty penny. For example the only smart thing in my house is the light bulbs and I buy a enough light bulbs for the year durring the holiday sales because otherwise they're $10 per bulb. So if I leave my current situation I'm going to 100% take every last one and replace them with standard bulbs. I could completely imagine people thinking I'm being petty by taking the lights with me, but that's hundreds of dollars that I would otherwise have to replace. So if OP spent years slowly transforming the house into a smart house, she probably put in thousands into the project.

[@toysruskid5074]

I don't like having a smart house. Voice recognition doesn't work well for me. But I do buy the sale ones for people who do. Echo dot was $5 instead of $40 for a while a couple years ago. Bought. Also got a smart plug for $3 normally $25 and gifted them as a pair for Christmas. Acquired a $10 echo earlier this year to add to my Christmas gifting. Even with those rare sales, I'm well aware that it would cost a lot to make a smart home. Unfortunately, I have a higher pitched voice and my health insurance company still sends me to the su1ç1de hotline when I try to voice the need for a representative.

[@KyrieChii]

If they thought you were the AH for doing that, then they would be idiots, rendering their judgement moot.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Literally if the parents were any other landlords, the whole sub would be in agreement.

[@mercycunningham2813]

@@toysruskid5074 OP doesn't live in the US. Says so herself. In most countrys sales are not that good and smart stuff more expensive.

[@toysruskid5074]

@@mercycunningham2813 As I said that's 3 sales in over 2 years. I'm only able to be that choosy because they're almost useless to me. Sure, I could control them from my phone, but I'd really rather not have products that may do random things because my voice commands register as other things. Google maps once directed me to an abandoned area with hollow empty houses and a church covered in graffiti. >.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

It was nice to have a classic episode! The ESH in the destruction of baby stuff story rubbed me wrong. It was such mealy-mouthed devil's advocacy. The line about the newborn having a place to sleep being 'important' is what really got me. No, that's not 'important,' that's the baby could get taken away if the sister spitefully calls CPS after what she did.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

OP Kicked Out, Took Their Things: NTA. This did not sound like an amicable situation; it's kind of a quick bit in the middle but it sounded like the parents were planning on turning OP'S room into the dad's man cave with the line "they were going to move his room to mine". Also, nobody is willing to go through that level of work to remove fixtures unless there was a history of the parents deciding anything that belonged to OP was theirs as well. I see the replacement of all of the convenience items that the parents got used to with the standard stuff not only as a CYA move but a calculated message that they could no longer control anything involving OP, especially if they want to just kick them out.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 2: they wouldn't be homeless, assumably they've been paying rent and can pay rent elsewhere. Yes, now they'll have to move and pay the market rate but it's their own doing.

[@shadowyplays8290]

They have 60 days to make that house unlivable and a mess to be rented out when they’re gone. 😁

[@GMWILD87]

Last story yep no contact time for sis and parents if they don't see the danger their one daughter is.

[@skyelindsey687]

The last story: NTA. No one who would destroy items belonging to a new born out of spite and jealousy should ever be a parent or have a child in their custody.

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA put all of those home improvements to your house instead she payed for it.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Nope, not wrong for taking what you bought so long as you replaced everything necessary with products at least as good as what was there before you made changes. NTA. 2) Other people should not disrespect you marriage and husband. I do not blame you for coming down on your aunt and uncle for how they treated you and acted like the house was theirs and they could discount your marriage after insisting you stay with them. NTA, they are disgusting. Good for your dad for taking this stance and giving them the boot. 3) Your father was nasty and all he did was awful, abusing your mom and manipulating and alienating you from her. It's good you got away from him and reconnected with your mom. Too bad your sister is delusional about the goodness of your dad. She pressed you and you gave her facts. NTA. 4) No reason to feel guilty since you have children and your sister does not, and OMG your sister is insane and horrible. Nothing you said was wrong, your parents are wrong for thinking her behavior should get a pass. Do file a police report and make an insurance claim. Keep sister out of your life and away from your children. She is unhinged and dangerous and I therefore concur with you in wishing she never has a child. I think someone who's behavior is that outrageous should not have a child no matter where it would come from.

[@amysmith6791]

The parents in story 1 sound like what happens in a share house. Just because you use something, doesn't make it yours. What you bring in is what you take out. NTA.

[@emeraldpichu1]

If they took every last thing it implies some level of animosity between the parties. If the parents have a history of d****** their child over if they get the opportunity then they have every right to take every last thing that's theirs.

[@Vipre-]

Or it just implies that OP can't afford to get their own place AND replace all those items in the new home. The parents gave away their game when they announced the intent to take over the renovated room as their new master bedroom. Expecting to keep a new 65" tv in the room as "a gift" was icing.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Last story: I kind of expected the story to go on the route of something happening with OP’s childbirth to the point where OP had to have a full hysterectomy and her sister demanding the newborn baby to be her child cause it would be fair. Which would make OP’s statement maybe a little mean, But the story took the direction it did, OP is 100% in the right to say she doesn’t deserve to have children. OP’s sister shouldn’t have kids. Look what she did!Ruined a newborn baby’s room in a fit of jealously fueled rage and blamed it on toddlers. She is unfit mentally to be a parent to any child if that is literally what she does to cope with jealously and what she did to all 3 of her nieces and nephews. She probably scarred the toddlers too. She’d be a scary mother. I’m sure she will be denied fostering children too cause they would see her as unfit

[@candypettynettie487]

Agreed! Sister isn't safe around children, pregnant women or anyone

[@bloodlos]

In story one, they didn’t make the house worse. She made it better and then returned it to the original state when moving out.

[@catsncrows]

Story 1 op was paying rent. They're a tenant. I'd have to believe that there must be some acrimony in the relationship for them to do this even if slight. But faaaamily...

[@Becks-and-books]

S1: my first thought was that I can't believe the money people pay for items that are a major security risk... but that's their risk to take. NTA, he explained why he took it out and that it was cheaper to do so than to replace the items. Sure, he could've asked for money to keep it there, but that would've hinged on the assumption that the parents expressed a want to keep the things rather than OP just going "so pay me." I'd never go up to my parents and say "since I need to replace these things do you want to pay to keep these things here?" Whenever my parents have bought stuff from me (like a computer or similar) they've got a heavily discounted price, or gotten it for free.

[@jessicamarsh9779]

2:53 NOPE. NTAH. If you paid for them on top of rent then that makes it yours. Your parents should have taken that money used for rent to update their home.

[@Katja32]

S2: Of course they did it on purpose. They are from Texas. This is extremely common in Texas, ESPECIALLY the rural areas. It's super deep-red conservative, and OP mentions that this is a conservative Catholic town. People in these parts of Texas also tend to think that because they're older you have to yes-ma'am/yes-sir them constantly. You should trip over yourself and bend backwards for family even if they're bigoted to hell. And accept it. my aunt expects all my siblings to basically kiss her ass and she has said my brother's wife is going to hell for being jewish, etc. when my mom got custody of me she intentionally got knocked up to have a baby, too, at the same time, and pit us against each other our whole lives. Any time my mom has something nice to say about me, my aunt has to trash it. She hates that I'm Queer, too. It's just. So VERY VERY on brand for Texas.

[@sopadumacacoumadelicia5]

That's sad :( I really dislike the horrid zealots. In any case, you go friend. Live ur life as u see fit ♡

[@nareegreel]

Story 2: they caused that on themselves, and yes they did set them up. They could have apologized and it was all good but they double down fucked around and found out.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: NTA. Sounds like parents told OP to move to benefit from OP's upgraded room.

[@amyyaku5022]

Story 1: NTA. If OP's parents wanted to keep those improvements, they should either keep OP there or buy it themselves. They can't have their cake and eat it too. Also the tad Aholeish comment makes no sense. It's like they were trying to blame OP for no reason. 😂 Story 2: NTA. Sucks for the kids but the aunt and uncle got themselves kicked out. They ticked off the owner for mistreating their son and spouse and they faced consequences for it. Last Story: NTA the sister 100% deserved it for what she did. No woman deserves to be infertile but imagine if she had kids and ever got angry with them or jealous? If she did this to her own sister there's no telling what she'd do to her own kids.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Sister Feud: NEEDS to call the police, file charges, and get a restraining order!

[@ginger_snapped_]

I, as a native vermonter, love the way you pronounce vermont. It makes it sound more fancy than it is lol

[@Kerry-qe8ul]

personally if it were me I'd offer op money to leave the home improvements like exactly what she paid so she wouldn't be out of pocket but I'm guessing ops parents were hoping to benefit off there kid. I hope my kids want to live with me forever il be trying to encourage them to stay with mum and dad 🤣

[@CooperGal24]

Story One: NTA "OP, you need to move, but leave ALL of the things you've bought to make your old room BETTER because we said so!" Yeah, no. It sounds like they're a couple of Entitled Parents that expected OP to leave their room alone for their "Convenience". Story Four: NTA Oh HELL NO! OP did EVERYTHING to help her Sister be a surrogate and have HER babies. But the Sister decides to suddenly DESTROY the baby items in OP and her husband's home?! And her parents are the ones calling HER the AH and NOT Sister?! Sister was even BLAMING THREE YEAR OLD TWINS for the destruction! Nope, nope, nope! She's crazy and jealous, taking those out on the baby items in the home! Thank God she didn't abuse OP's three year old twins, or she'd be in DEEPER trouble! She needs to see a therapist and get help, after she gets slapped in the face with a lawsuit for destruction of property!

[@DisneyChar]

They kicked her out so they could have her room, no mercy for me

[@JordanDragonAs]

I love half the redditors don't understand story one

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 1: nta you made those improvements not them we did that to apartments we moved out of story 2: NTA I'm so glad your parents and sibling are supportive. you're right tho, it wasn't their house. your father had every right to kick them out story 3: nta she was older than you when you found out. atleast she had a few more years before you told her

[@MsStrangeEmilie]

Story 1: good on you OP, not the bad guy. The parents got what they wanted. Now kick rocks.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: OP didn't force his cousins to be homeless, his aunt & uncle did. All they had to do was apologize.

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day

[@simac8396]

STORY 2: DONT BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU.

[@thePanda_huma]

OP bought her own stuff, she improved her space for her convenience. The fact her parents kicked her out means she takes the things she purchased to make her life better. Redditors are confusing, one minute it's "kids don't owe their parents" or "parents don't owe their kids" yet people are calling OP AH for taking what she put into the house...

[@fhuber7507]

4... NTA. and press charges for child abuse.

[@savanamoon107104]

"rip out the sockets" did the commenter even read the post? Did they miss the part where OP said that they were very careful and repaired everything?

[@Floratic]

In response to the first story I would have left some of the stuff since it is my parents house. Taking the sockets, bulbs, switches, Alexa, and shower head was pretty petty. She should of left them. I do understand taking the furniture, TV, and AC unit. If this was a place she was renting from a landlord then I'd be like "take it all back!" But this is her parents house. I would want to make improvements to my parents house to make their lives easier or more comfortable. 🤷‍♀️

[@cryofist]

she was renting it though...and payed for all the tech(which wasnt cheap) and payed for the hike up in the energy bill and replaced all her stuff with newer versions of the old things that were there before. and they gave away their intent when they complained because they planned on moving into her room once she was gone and they wanted to keep the 65" smart tv "as a gift". these parents used op for the upgrades and then planned to kick her out to get them for free. all that stuff will have costed thousands of dollars to buy again for herself.

[@cryofist]

hell the tv by itself would be like 400-500 bucks

[@Floratic]

@@cryofist that all doesn't cost that much. I invested 5k in upgrades to my moms rental property while I was living there and I left it it all their when I left. Only thing I took was the TV, my amazon echo, and bed. I'm not about to take the sockets, bulbs, switches, shower head, and any other fixture I bought and installed. But that's me. 🤷‍♀️

[@sarakleinhenn3652]

Life tip #1: ANYTHING to do with MONEY and FAMILY has to be written out. Families have been divided over less...

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I kinda hope there is an update for the last story.

[@phtevlin]

#2 A very old story. Had a friend who had been married, divorced & remarried. HIs relatives were Catholic & thus didn't recognize the 2nd marriage. When he went to visit them, they insisted he & his wife sleep in separate rooms. The year 1972.

[@zefflar]

Good job keep it all! They kicked you out meaning all your stuff too! And those that said FAMILY can get bent! NTA

[@sameerkatte4895]

Waffles or pancakes? Left Twix or Right Twix? Coke or Pepsi?

[@ms.andeedill280]

Both. Both. Coke LOL.

[@dizzysdoings]

Yes

[@Calories_To_Calibers]

1: they became landlords the second they started collecting rent. Your landlord can't ask you to leave and keep your shit. The last commentor can get bent

[@claudiarico1620]

The last story nta and what the hell people are saying than op might be slightly yta nope....they are beyond wrong

[@sophiaeshleman3349]

They let you up grade when you were done they said get out that’s what they wanted and now they’re upset that you’re taking everything back.