My Mom Tried To Take Over My Wedding And Showed Up In Her Wedding Dress r/Relationships

[@shadewolfe1231]

Story 1-The “weak” cousin. Being pressured to reveal the wedding details was one thing. But WHO would even be pressuring her about the “unplanned/secret” dinner with OP. How would the mom and aunt even know about OP visiting? Cousin seems kinda sus honestly 😒

[@pippo17173]

Honestly hearing how all this started after her husband death, tells me that the cousin is the go to kid to pick on, especially when aunt seems to have the same thought process.

[@kichikitsu]

OP's mom is insane enough to wedding crash her own daughter's wedding in her wedding dress, she's DEFINITELY insane enough to harass the cousin consistently bc she knows OP would visit her eventually. Like, it's absolutely not a reach for her to just "TELL ME WHERE SHE IS" every day until cousin can actually give an answer (which she will, bc she has the backbone of a wet paper towel)

[@bautistalover]

@@kichikitsu OP literally said her cousin was the one to first crack when they misbehaved as kids so yeah she was the easy target. Honestly OP is a raging hypocrite because she needed reddit to tell her she was a doormat and standup for herself but she can’t give a little understanding to her cousin that she knew was a doormat too.

[@maiab.4894]

That's BS. The weak cousin could've asked reddit or a therapist if they were feeling conflicted like OP. The cousin lived in the toxic family system along with OP and knew the consequences. They have to live with the repercussions of their actions.

[@LiminallyYours]

@@maiab.4894 I completely agree. There is no empathy to have for someone who doesn't try to fix the problem. The cousin gets pressured by people on one side, maybe she should get a taste of getting pressured for being a snitch too. If I were OP, I'd have told her she is spineless, disloyal, and that she will remain a disgusting person who doesn't deserve my friendship until she becomes a real friend. Everyone is talking about her not having a backbone, but what about her being a selfish bitch who betrays her friend?

[@catsncrows]

No wonder that mother hasn't found someone to settle down with and marry. She's lost her last hinge!

[@seraglioborneo2803]

Must remember that last bit. LOL

[@geekfreak2000]

Bold of you to assume she had any hinges to begin with

[@catsncrows]

@@geekfreak2000 true!

[@whitewitch32]

​@@geekfreak2000I think the deceased father was the hinge, when he passed away she lost it.

[@hattimounattimou8258]

@@whitewitch32 yeah that was the last hinge on the coffin... i'll see myself out

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

If the cousin actually wanted to protect OP, she could've said a random date and random place and time to divert attention

[@Wander85942]

I came and broke out of crazy. I would have backed up OP no matter what they threw at me.

[@audreynothepburn7663]

I was actually thinking that too. Would’ve asked to make a plan in case things escalated like the did.

[@darkmask5933]

Not to knock you, but you obviously don't know how hard it can be to deal with emotional abuse. Even OP admitted she and cousin used to be the same, OP isn't even mad, just sad that she knows she has to cut cousin off as well.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@darkmask5933 I understand that the world isn't a nice or fair place, and has no mercy for the weak-willed. OP passed the wedding crucible-test. Cousin didn't.

[@jedimasters1462]

I actually feel bad for the cousin. It sounds like she was attacked on both fronts by op's mom and her own. Her mom would know what buttons to push to get her to tell and especially the truth. For a shy, timid person, it's not easy to fight back. The cousin didn't tell because she wanted to be mean or because she thought that she knew better than op. She told because she was cornered and was probably scared.

[@CatLoverX74]

She mentioned in the comments he was letting them roughhouse in the tub! One slipped and busted his lip! So yeah he definitely needs to let the nanny do her job. The tub is not the place for roughhousing 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@pragatisingh8467]

busting lips and bruising are a part of growing up. Its not all cute. These things are important for a child's growth. If she's one of those overbearing mothers who act overprotective of their children and makes a scene about little issues then that's not good either.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@pragatisingh8467 The bathtub is *not* the place for roughhousing. It's entirely too slick and slipping in the bathtub can result in life threatening injuries. The child could have busted his head on the faucet and gotten a fractured skull. Bedtime is also *not* the time for roughhousing. The kids get wound up and then can't sleep. They're awake far past their bedtime, don't get enough sleep, then are hard to get out of bed and can't concentrate the next day at school, and possibly fall asleep during class. Yes, active play is important to children's growth and development, but at the appropriate and safe times and places. In the tub 10 minutes before bedtime is inappropriate and unsafe for roughhousing. You've made several comments to the effect that women are overprotective and overbearing, but have you ever seen the morbidity and mortality stats on bathtub injuries? They aren't a place for active play due to the chances of slipping. There are other times and places for active play and roughhousing.

[@vanzy01]

​@@bunnyslippers191 👍🏿💯

[@Sassy_Kat]

@@bunnyslippers191​Totally agree with you. My kids are grown now, but back when they were little, my husband worked offshore as a tugboat captain 28/14. So, I was basically a single parent 3 weeks a month, home with 3 kids(all 3 yrs apart), trying to juggle them and working 2 jobs myself. He pretty much tried to act like OP’s husband and be the fun parent. I was NOT having that after my oldest ( that was maybe 12) at the time and they were rough housing in the tub and she slipped and hit her head in the tub (old time enameled steel) and ended up in the ER. I later found out he had let them do tricks and play around during bath times and go in their room to read to them after, but always hyped them up instead. I had to set hardline rules down about that and it took a while for all of them, but it was my only way to manage it all. Now, that we’re older and have grandbabies, I let him handle all of that with them and I’m the fun one egging them on, just to give him and their mommas a lil payback. My daughter used to tell them that they were coming babysit me, when she wanted us to babysit them. LOL

[@CouncilEstateRach]

Both wrong, urs you can mess around and fill the bath with bubbles to the ceiling and slip and slide around the bath BUT you teach them how to do it safely.. ie.slide feet first towards the taps... you have to let them slip and slide a little... no jumping though and this is how you have children who can regulate the risks of injury for themselves... sadly due to the onset of phones parents just aren't present in their children's lives like they used to be and it really really shows.... there seems to to be no happy medium any more. We've either got helicopter parents or parents that don't give a toss. As for rough housing at bath tine, of course not, no one should be allowing their children to play fight in the bath. That's just asking for trouble. My kids were constantly outside so when they came in for bath story and bed they were stinking but we could afford to bath them every night so fun was always had. Just think, my age, we couldn't afford to have a bath every night so it was a wash the a sink of water and a flannel. Times change so quickly. Xxx The best bit if advice I can give any parent....when ur children are 0 to 7.... put yr phone away.... thise 7 uears fly by so so quickly and its when they learn the most. Be there, be present for all of it because if yr not... its really hard to teach 9 or 10 year olds things they should have learned at 4 or 5. Much love. Xxxx

[@mx9226]

The worst betrayal comes from the people who are closest to you.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

So true! And it's really sad when it happens. 😢

[@Icalasari]

Thanks for being such a consistent part of my and everybody elses day!

[@MarkNarrations]

I wouldn't be here without good folks like yourself, so thank you for listening

[@Ledvolta]

I agree ☝🏻👍🏻. 😀👏🏻

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The mom is unhinged on more than a few levels. She's obsessed with controlling OP's life first the wedding, then pushing for grandbabies. And the cousin needs to stop being such a pushover and grow a backbone.

[@carterpitbull7366]

I actually feel bad for the cousin, based on the little information from OP it sounds like she’s been manipulated by her mother her whole life. Girls who turn out that meek and quiet and unable to hold a secret is probably because they’re used to being screamed at as a child.

[@Russman67]

@@carterpitbull7366 I feel bad for the cousin. I feel worse that she loses someone who could be an ally for her because she betrayed OP to her mom. Cousin traded her peace for OP's.

[@pippo17173]

@Russell Grant all we can hope is this will finally get her a spine.

[@DrownedInExile]

@@carterpitbull7366 I don't have any sympathy for her. Why the hell didn't she warn OP that she was being pressured? She's a damn coward and a quisling. Cowards die many times before their death.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

​@@pippo17173 Yep hopefully loosing the closest person in her life convinces her to follow OP's example and pack her shit and run.

[@zard5930]

It is totally okay for OP to cut ties with the cousin. But I feel for her cousin. Being that much of a pushover is a telltale sign that cousin has their own heap of trauma due to her mother. And now the cousin lost a trusted friend, OP. While, it is for her actions, it also isolates her even more

[@mbyerly9680]

The cousin is screwed beyond the death of these two monsters because she's become so damaged by them she'll most likely will attract an abusive partner. The abusive can always spot someone with a victim mentality.

[@samaryechic]

I feel the same. I really hope she's ok, now she has no one.

[@bautistalover]

I don’t agree. The OP is a hypocrite. She’s mad at her cousin for being a pushover when OP herself was a pushover and needed Reddit to tell her to grow a spine. I find that to be completely insane. Not only is the OP a pushover she has no accountability and no compassion for anyone else.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

I swear, who actually thinks wearing a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding is appropriate. Like what do they think it accomplishes. Like I get its out of jealousy, but I don’t see how this is supposed to do anything. This seems like a weird combination of resentment, homophobia, grief, mental illness, and jealousy of her own daughter. Story 2: He either needs to let the nanny handle it or step up. He’s the one undermining himself, not his wife, and not the nanny.

[@ElleD308]

No one ever thinks wearing a white dress to another's people wedding is appropriate. They do it to either get attention, feel like it's their wedding, create drama or fuck someone's day. They only say "they had no idea it was bad" just so they don't look like the assholes they are

[@catherinecox573]

Right? It just makes the jealous party look desperate and weird for trying to steal the spotlight on someone else's day...

[@tallyp.7643]

Mom's definitely gone off to another galaxy. She doesn't see OP as a daughter, but a proxy for herself. She acts like this is actually HER wedding. I can only imagine if OP had married a man--I'd bet my last paycheck she'd demand tons of photos of her holding the groom's arm while in that hideous wedding dress. She'd be in every bit of their lives and try to take over OP's life. Mom needs therapy badly.

[@seffie]

I remember the story where the MIL was going to be wear a wedding dress at OPs wedding, so OP changed the invitation of all but MILs family who were on the plan, saying they could wear their wedding dresses to her wedding, so everyone was in white, while the bride was in a purple dress and rode in on the sidecar of a motorcycle, the one bright color. 🤣

[@LunaMane]

And it just gives off a big living vicariosly through someone else type of disposition.

[@heatherweir8726]

I heard if one story were a mil wanted to wear a white dress to her kids wedding so the bride wore a different coloured dress and said all the guest could wear their own white wedding dress. They did not tell the mil this so when she showed up she was lost in a sea of white while the bride stood out in her dress. ( this us a very condensed version of what happened.)

[@halla3184]

That’s goddamn glorious! I’d love to see the pics from that wedding. All these women in beautiful wedding gowns, OP the dazzling splash of colour among the white, and one disgruntled looking mil. Beautiful

[@candypettynettie487]

That was a crazy story. The mil still said that the bride bullied her.

[@brianaschmidt910]

I loved the one where the mil asked the Indian bride to be if she could wear a white dress to the wedding. (fiance said she couldn't allow it at first) and the mil, even though she was in a beautiful white wedding gown, still looked underdressed next to the other guests (let alone the glamorous and extremely decked out bride)

[@streamerssaymyname]

​@@brianaschmidt910 ​ yeah and in India, wearing all white is a sign of mourning, so it's kind of funny - she was already mourning not being the center of attention before she knew it.

[@ScooterBond1970]

This is so much The Best. Plus Ultra!

[@alyzu4755]

Good lord, the whole "adopted kids arent really family" mentality is stupid and beyond cruel! OP's mom has lost every last one of her marbles. I hope they go completely NC. And possibly get a restraining order.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

They're doing just that. Hopefully, they can get that restraining order.

[@ClearandCloudy]

Second story, I only ever went and saw my dad on weekends and there were so many times my mom sent money, food, FURNITURE, so that my sister and I had something. Then as an adult he told me I wasn’t allowed to do something, I just thought to myself “where do you get off telling me what to do, I cleaned up after you. I cooked for you. Before the age of ten.” I spoke with my therapist about it and she said it’s normal and very easy for children to recognize who actually put in the effort. My dad wasn’t a parent, he was a babysitter that had to pay (peanuts in) child support.

[@AndyyWithAY]

This lady was crazy AF, but in general even when your mom is well intentioned it's OK to not let her decide things for your wedding. I love my mom but we like 2 very different aesthetics. I'm all about glitz, glam, how much fancy do you want? Yes!! She's more lowkey. There doesn't have to be some wild crisis like here for your mom not to have a planning role

[@dillongage]

😂 you just have such an energetic way of writing that it makes me giggle. Its always a treat to see your comments down here.

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 1: This isn't about the wedding. OP's mom is mentally ill. There are far too many hints that there is much, much more wrong with the mom. For those who read Reddit "The Iranian yogurt is not the problem."

[@madgevanness4011]

Miss Haversham.

[@MorganaCrow]

Wasn't that story about a guy who horded yogurt?

[@enjolireyes643]

Time to look that up AND I JUST FOUND IT 😂😂😂😂

[@AutumnFire1414]

@@enjolireyes643 Wild ride, isn't it?

[@enjolireyes643]

@@AutumnFire1414 yes it was!

[@Sovreign071]

Mother's Day is coming up. Maybe OP should gift their mom a doll. It won't argue or have any opinions, and Mom can do whatever she wants with it!

[@megannason3649]

Last one, good for the mom for recognizing she was overwhelmed and struggling with PPD and actually asking for help, and good for the nanny for rising to the occasion. I’m also glad nanny felt comfortable enough to go to the mom over the dad’s behavior to get it resolved. She is awesome and I hope she stays with the family.

[@robina.9402]

It was good to hear the moon recognized how much the nanny had supported not just the kids but herself.

[@MarkNarrations]

[@dogeman5584]

thank you

[@girlscoutaz620]

Love these waffles! 😹💖

[@carolsh1983]

Dad in the last story had another option: to parent during bedtime and make more time for his kids during the week for play.

[@Allmightyimortal]

Kind of depends on the job he works and how much time he needs to put in. Nanny wouldn't work for free and op would also be complaining if they had less money. So just finding more time might not really be an option.

[@carolsh1983]

@@Allmightyimortal fair enough, finding more time isn’t always just a choice. But that doesn’t mean he can just wind them up and bedtime and expect someone else to deal with it.

[@Allmightyimortal]

@carolsh1983 can't argue with that. Honestly feel like both parents need to sit down and talk because the way op talks it sounds like she implied he is a bad father and less of a parent. Despite him working hard for the kids as well. There communicated needs some work.

[@pragatisingh8467]

Working a high profile job might mean he has little to no control over his schedule. Its his job which provides them financial stability and allows the wife to hire professional help with the kids. I'm sure she'd not be very happy about him cutting work hours, which will lead to a salary cut. Funny how everyone has a problem with the breadwinner spending long hours working but no one has problems spending the money they earn.

[@Purexfallenxangel90]

@@pragatisingh8467 the mother works a 9-5 as well and due to the pandemic (which was when she had the second child) they got a nanny to help out. so he isn't the sole earner of the household.

[@darkmask5933]

People dogpiling on the cousin obviously do not understand how debilitating emotional abuse can be. Even OP said that she and cousin used to be the same, she didn't even realize her mother and aunt was abusing her and that her 'boundaries' were a joke. People need to stop attacking the cousin, even OP isn't angry with her, just sad that cousin is stuck and unable to break free.

[@damien678]

This is what I was thinking

[@simonO712]

THANK YOU!

[@samaryechic]

Agreed. The thing is, just because OP "grew a spine" that doesn't mean she can harp on the cousin though. She admitted that they were bullied all through childhood. Her response was just different than hers. I feel for them both. Now the cousin probably has no one.

[@bautistalover]

Yeah my thoughts exactly. The OP has no room to criticize her cousin or be mad considering she needed Reddit to tell her to grow a spine and set boundaries. She and her cousin are just alike. Cutting off her cousin to me just seems as a way to take away from OPs personal accountability for how her mother tried to ruin the wedding. Instead of cutting her cousin off they she could’ve talked to her and showed her the Reddit post or something to help her cousin come to terms with their reality.

[@Qabim]

it explains it but God, it was a shit decision to bring a narc to one of their victims. I, too, am a victim of similar backgrounds but just because something is understandable doesn't make it AT ALL A GOOD DECISION. I'm sympathetic to the cousin but it doesn't change how engaging it is to expose a victim to their abuser. The criticism is very valid and while some empathy could help us understand motives, it shouldn't let us excuse the actions taken.

[@dogeman5584]

Mark i came here early to say you make my day everyday i have been going through some bad things and your vids bring me a smile all the time i just wanna say thank you you are amzing

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww Hollow, thank you for being here. Whatever is going on I'm wishing you the best my friend, take time for yourself

[@catsncrows]

His voice is really comforting and relaxing. It's funny because he's talking about personal chaos but I'm oh this is nice!

[@carolroberts4614]

Mark could read the telephone directory and I'd be listening!

[@chantelinsertnamehere4513]

I feel sorry for the cousin, i feel like there is some definite emotional abuse happening with her. I hope shes able to grow cause unfortunately with OP cutting her off she's lost a support system 😔

[@samaryechic]

Same.

[@annabellehe4307]

She should let the nanny take care of the baby, the dad take care of the older kids, and take the night off lol

[@sweetbeanpaste6987]

Hi Mark, I've been binging ur videos for the past view months now and I absolutely love your channel! Since my adhd brain literally ALWAYS needs background noise, your channel has been so perfect for me! You helped me get through my workouts, to keep me motivated while I'm drawing and crafting, and biking to and from work! Ty for your amazing narrating! Much love from Amsterdam :)

[@agingophelia9812]

His voice is sooo relaxing.

[@platinum_noelle]

With what OP says her cousin told her, it sounded like the aunt and mother just pressed a little bit before she gave everything up. If just the mention of grounding could get her to confess to anything as a kid, it sounds like it really doesnt take much more than one or two stern words to get any information out of her.

[@stonefox2546]

Standing orders to tell everything she knows about OP. And any attempt at growing a spine trampled to ground from age 0.

[@mogulmade]

Beware of non-confrontational people. They will throw you under the bus to maintain their need to be liked - EVERY TIME.

[@camellia8625]

So true

[@caitofga]

OP’s Mom: of course wedding vendors send invitations to shop with them - that’s not suspicious!

[@ScarabD]

Honestly, feel kinda sorry for cousin in story one. I get what she did was wrong and don't disagree with OP cutting her off, but she's obviously in an abusive situation and that sort of behaviour is pretty hard to get over - it's basically psychological conditioning. I can't imagine what sort of things the aunt and mother did or threatened. "Growing a backbone" isn't as easy as OP makes it sound. She had her wife and in-laws to support her and help her get away. Who did the cousin have?

[@samaryechic]

Perfectly stated!

[@haitianalphagaming8324]

I work as a night auditor and your videos really help me wind down. They are also really good. I promise I promise I stay awake until the end of the video 😂

[@sarahclapp505]

It's the voice😌😌😌😔😔😔😪😪😪😴😴😴

[@KE-hr4sb]

My mom did the sending packages thing after I cut her off. Only, she had the not-very-wise idea to write on the outside of the package some bs about how “forgiveness is divine and god’s will.” Oh, my bad. I’ll just forget all the times you beat the crap out of me and allow you access to your grandkids so you can continue the cycle then! /sarcasm I returned it to sender and she got the message. Or I should say, she never tried to send me another package after that. S2: NTA, but maybe change your rule a little: Instead of saying, “follow her lead or don’t help at all,” try “follow her lead or do it by yourself.” This will give him a chance to still bond with the kids, teach the kids that when daddy is home they can play together a little bit, but hopefully not derail the nanny’s routine after the kids have gotten the hang of the changes. If your husband says he can’t do it without the nanny’s help, remind him that a) he’s the parent, his income pays for the nanny, b) he didn’t want the nanny to take over and replace him, and c) the nanny handles it on her own when he is gone, so he should be fine, he just needs to get into a routine. Either “he’s the parent” and can take care of bedtime on his own, or he admits that due to his frequent time away he’s struggling and needs help -in which case he follows the schedule and rules that are working. He’s wanting his cake and to eat it too.

[@DiabolicGoth]

Women who get married (same sex marriage) you can take one's eggs, fertilize it at a fertility doctors and place it in the other spouse. This way one is classified as the bio mom and the other as the birth mother. As a bonus, legally laws can't take away the kid from either since this is a tight biological tether! (Why would they take away the kid? Well divorce is one and remarriage is also complicated when it comes to custody)

[@dillongage]

What 😂😂 you can 100% take children away from biological parents. Ask the millions of men who have had that exact thing happen. Whoever told you that has no idea how reality works.

[@DiabolicGoth]

@@dillongage bro that's not what I meant. I literally put what I meant at the end. Obviously the exception would be shitty parenting, abuse, ect. for court to take ANYONE'S kid away. Duh 🙄😒 like I said, it's just in custody cases. They favor 99% of the time to the biology parent.

[@tallyp.7643]

I'm glad OP got the scaled-down wedding she wanted and did security. But honestly, I'm enjoying the "what if?" game here, because sometimes it takes a public shaming (or exposure) for the person to get their grip on reality back. Can't help wondering how it would've gone had mom shown up in that hideous old wedding dress and there been no security to keep her out. She would've probably felt like Cinderella going to the ball for 5 minutes before realizing half the room was looking at her like she was unhinged or ignoring her obvious ploy for attention. Then the screaming would've started and the whole family would've had a front-row seat to her narcissistic and deranged behavior. Of course, some will STILL try to explain it away, but the rest? Yeah, you're exposed. Now we just have to wait for the Reddit post from spineless-cousin asking "AITA for telling my aunt and mother to let me plan my own wedding?" I'm 99% sure (if no therapy happens) that since OP is going NC, Spineless is gonna be next in momma's crosshairs to plan the perfect wedding. Would probably be like Godzilla vs. Mothra, watching cousin's mother and OP's mother fighting for control over weak-cousin's wedding planning, because I doubt Spineless' own mother is gonna sit and let her sister run roughshod over "her" territory.

[@damien678]

I'm a bastard because I really wanna see that 😂

[@dillongage]

Story 1: NTA but; AHHH YES OP YES YOURE A GENIUS! Your boundaries were not boundaries!!! If they arent clearly set and fully transparent people will never respect them. Not that it would've worked on your mom anyways, BUT STILL!! Im SO proud of you for learning that OP!! Personal growth 😤😤😤 is what I crave. Its what I live for. Such a vibe. Hopefully you have a happy marriage!! (and lots of babies just to spite dear old mom 😜)

[@BruinPhD2009]

Weddings. Yikes. I grew up in a family of church musicians and I think we've seen every awful personality trait. From my dad, I learned set of rules for brides when meeting about music: 1. Bring an open mind 2. Bring your checkbook (to get the pay for any extra musicians well in advance; saves hassle on the day of) 3. Bring the groom if possible; it's his day, too. 4. LEAVE YOUR MOM AT HOME. Your mom may be a saint, but more often than not, your mom either wants you to have the wedding she had OR she wants you to have the wedding she WISHED she had. Neither of those may be the wedding you want. Brides that ignored one or more of those things usually found themselves in a serious nightmare scenario. 😂

[@damien678]

Very happy with my decision to elope in the future Not that these are unreasonable in the slightest, I'm just happy to not have to organise a wedding in the first place 😂

[@Davtwan]

I heard that the death of a loved one can make people go unhinged but _yikes._ She went off the deep end the moment her husband died and a lot of the family is just letting it happen when they could have been a united front to help her (or at least shut her out). That’s just pathetic.

[@tashawilliams87]

Bang on for break time! Hope everyones day is going well 💚

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Tasha, enjoy your break! Anything nice for lunch? or just a coffee break? :)

[@tashawilliams87]

@Mark Narrations Roast chicken and homemade potato salad today! Gotta give in to that pregnancy craving haha! Swear sprog is gonna end up being used to your voice with how much I listen 😂

[@MarkNarrations]

@@tashawilliams87 You certainly do haha, enjoy that lunch, made me super hungry

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: it’s really sad how common this is. Mom and/or MIL didn’t have the most ideal, perfect wedding, either due to financial situation, early pregnancy, shotgun wedding, literally any small wedding where proper planning and stuff couldn’t happen. They tried to have the perfect wedding, but they dreamed after their kids being this controlling. They want their personal taste in the wedding so they can vicariously live through their child to have the wedding they regret not having.

[@videofan1010]

The mother is just as crazy as the day is long.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: Dad sounds really incompetent as a dad if he "can't handle" it on his own but the nanny can when he's not there. Sounds like the kids are well enough behaved when they're actually parented, which the nanny is actually doing.

[@bettreon]

Mom sounds really incompetent as a mom if she can't handle it on her own but the nanny can. Sounds like the kids are well enough behaved when actually parented, which the nanny is actually doing.

[@Dantalisman]

I kinda get where he's coming from though. If he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with them because most days he's back late then I can see why he'd want to play with them when he does get to see them. Him being told he can't would be depressing, especially if the fun their having is with a nanny he's paying for. I agree he needs to do better sticking to the routine, but I would never shot on a guy for wanting to have fun with his kids.

[@dillongage]

Hes playing with them. The whole point is to misbehave a little.

[@davidmccurdy8911]

@@Dantalisman yeah, and some of the ways that the OP worded it would really hurt, "the nanny knows them better". If this kind of job is the best for the family for financial security where he has to miss seeing his kids all week every week then of course he wants some of the fun times too. They need a long discussion about this and the OP needs to be more careful with her words.

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

@@bettreon She is doing a lot of the parenting and she doesn’t interfere with the nanny and she has PPD. You’re trying to make 1 = 2 and that doesn’t add up 😂

[@cattyanamontes5724]

Thanks for the early video today Mark. Overworked, overstressed and overtired teacher and single special needs mom here. Took a mental health day and my principal was understanding. Your videos help me get through the day. I wish you released 5 a day. Haha

[@michamocha]

Wedding story: It's sad that someone Op considered a sister betrayed her not once but twice. Don't get me wrong, it's gross of both mother dearest and auntie dear to hound her for an answer, but she had many options here and the opportunity to stand up for herself and Op. It was for the best to cut her off until she learns to do so since keeping her around would only put Op at risk. Last: NTA. He can either be a parent or let the nanny do her job, he can't have it both ways. If he wants time with his kids then he and Op needs to have a conversation and make some changes to make things more balanced but until then, he'll have to follow the already established system.

[@jeffreed2848]

How is he doing that? Op said hes an active parent when he is home during the off days and trys to help where and when he can the other days. But if most days he gets minutes at best to see his kids, its understandable hed want to spend time with them in some way. Because if he didnt, then everyone would say hes avoiding them and barely around intentionally. He works the longer hours to provide his wife with a nanny. He could cut back, they go to daycare instead and then hes home more with her and the kids. What do you want him to do?

[@michamocha]

@@jeffreed2848 that's kinda why I said he and Op need a discussion. Yes, he does help when he _is_ home but he's gone more than he is there which can lead to bigger problems in the future like some of those comments pointed out. Cnsidering that she's working as well and they can afford a nanny, it wouldn't be too much to think that they have some wiggle room to make things more even and get him more involved so he's not having to depend on risking their routine to get some bonding time in.

[@dillongage]

​@@michamocha the fact that OP also has a job means they dont have nearly the wiggle room you think they do. Either that or OP doesnt need the job at all for finacial reason, in which case, why does she have the job?

[@michamocha]

@@dillongage people work for higher promotions or just a job in general for many of reasons?? I don't think Op even said what her job was so there's really no telling but reasons varies depending on the individual.

[@karend1577]

Thanks for trying to find a YTA comment. There was one video story in which you presented both sides. Then on another KZbinr doing the same story, it was all the YTA comments. I reflected on yours vs. his/her. I was glad that you didn't make it seem like everyone thought the YTA. I smiled when you said you didn't find a YTA on the last story.

[@vampire9545]

Which is sad as she is the AH.

[@Fireprincess161]

How many other professions need passwords to deal with clients? Any job dealing with weddings must see some of the most insane situations.

[@phoenixfire8978]

Hey Mark, my support animal has arrived and is settling in. He’s inquisitive, vocal, and LOVES to cuddle!

[@daniellediller5070]

Aw please give them belly rubs from us ❤

[@carolroberts4614]

There's lovely for you! Hope you have many good times together!

[@damien678]

You gotta at least tell us what kinda animal he is

[@carolroberts4614]

I didn't like to ask!

[@phoenixfire8978]

@@damien678 Burmese kitty

[@podunk_woman]

Thank you for showing some compassion for the bullied cousin. OP could have limited info and still helped her cousin who she claims is like a sister without cutting her out. Its like heaping more bullying on the cousin

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Awesome way to start my birthday morning. Watching Mark Narrations while eating my birthday pie. 😂

[@carolroberts4614]

Happy Birthday 🎂🎂🎁🎁!

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@carolroberts4614 Aww, thank you kind internet stranger. ☺

[@JoJoGranum]

A hidden case of homophobia on the first case. I’m so sorry for OP. When they mentioned passwords and she managed to guess them I’d seriously use simlish (Sims4) words for passwords.

[@holyek7892]

I swear these stories are the reason to get out of bed every morning.

[@carolroberts4614]

They come in at about 5 pm and 11pm, here in the UK! I read the second one after I've gone to bed sometimes! Never miss one!

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

Story 1: Yes the mom honestly thought OP and fiancee were invited her over so THEY could apologize because that is the standard they set for her. OP says they set boundaries, but they don't stick to their guns on their boundaries. They cave after OP's mom breaks down in front of them, and this is why she believed her latest temper tantrum was going to result in an apology. Its not enough to set a boundary. You have to enforce it or it doesn't work.

[@Feynix4]

Hey mark! Love listening to your videos while I crochet my blanket, you have a very nice, soothing voice. Thanks!

[@zacharydrewke3344]

I love your narrations, keep up the good work!

[@blackmoment3052]

Mark always dropping bangers when I'm bored

[@ChangedWinds]

20:16 this is exactly my situation with my child and I. My child is 16 and has been living with me full time since their bio mom and I started our divorce. My ex was the fun time mom and I was the serious, picking up all the pieces and keeping the house clean mom. I work a full time job, she didn't have a job until we started the divorce. When I took my child to therapy to explain what is going on in their life, I sat in during the initial session. Majority of the "funtimes mom" was an act while acting like a vile pos when I had to go overseas for months on end. There was so much bs that I felt like this was my fault and wouldn't have happened if I had a different job. 1. I hate that woman (ex-wife) 2. OP's husband makes me furious and livid

[@tracygardner6318]

I think in her mind, she truly is helping which makes this even sadder if she could see herself like we she would be ashamed of herself.

[@Cheri8795]

Hi Mark. I've been rewatching your videos and I enjoy them as much the second time around. I had a rough night and I'm hoping to get into bed in a few, but i saw this had just been posted 3 minutes before so i had to watch it. Ysy!😊 I left you a comment on the one before this one that I would love for you to read. I hope you have a great day/night. Take care!✨🌸✨🌸✨

[@dandotvid]

While I agree that OP is NTA in story two, the comment about "why do dads always get to be the fun one?" forget ONE VERY COMMON PHRASE: "Just wait until dad gets home".

[@samuelcarter4244]

It’s ridiculous that he is seen as a bad dad because he’s sacrificing his time for his family’s livelihood. He has to work the majority of the time as OP made it clear, yet him being home and actually being able to spend time with his kids IS a special occasion to him, and I’m sure the kids view it as such as well.

[@jakeand9020]

Yeah, "dad's always get to be the fun one" is very much an upper class thing apparently. When it's mom dealing with the sh*t alone all day dad has to be "the bad guy." As far as him being seen as a bad dad, aside from some random redditors, whom, let's be honest can find an excuse to sh*t on anyone, it's the fact he gets the kids wound up then ducks out and makes the nany deal with the consequences. If he let the nany off when he got home and dealt with everything himself I don't think you'd see that sentiment all that much.

[@brianaschmidt910]

Kinda hard when daddy's gone to get milk for a decade

[@standinthegsp6858]

Lol, tell your mom that your cousin told you that she really really REALLY wants your mom to plan her bridal shower, wedding & every baby shower

[@daniellediller5070]

Oh that's evil... I love it 😈

[@MCWon212]

Last Story - I'm going slight ESH or NAH... 1. If the father has little time to be with his kids, it's natural he's going to want some play time. 2. The nanny IS an employee. 3. Father and kid time is very important, arguably more than following a routine strictly to the Tee 4. Neither you nor your husband can handle the kids alone, hence the nanny. Best solution is to find a middle ground for nights he is there, not my way or the highway...

[@kristinmartin2899]

I agree! If that’s his bonding time with his children then let him damn well bond!

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

@@kristinmartin2899 Why should he get to bond and then as soon as there's a mess, or a problem like a kid getting hurt, he backs away and nanny has to handle it? Being a dad is not just about playing with your kids, it's handling problems, messes, sickness, injuries, etc. From the story it's clear that he just wants to mess around as though he's the kid himself, then someone else has to pick up the slack and get the kids to bed.

[@MCWon212]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 that's what she gets paid for... If she feels like the extra responsibility is outside the purview of her job description, maybe she asks for a raise, or propose a middle ground. People have different ways of bonding with their kids. Playtime is one of them.

[@katie6731]

Ugh. This woman sounds like my mother-in-law. Except, I was too young and eager to please to have the backbone to stand up to her. I'm so glad that OP is no contact. It's such a relief to cut out a horribly toxic person. OP is much better off than if she were still trying to placate her mother. I'm proud of OP and her wife, and hope they have a wonderful life together. 💙

[@NCAnon]

The first comment on story two is just perfect

[@TsukiKageTora]

How does OP think her mom was ok with her being with a woman if she makes snide remarks like “you wouldn’t be infertile if you were straight”? (not what was actually said but basically the gist of it).

[@rebekah.2187]

Nanny story: NTA The kids need a routine, whether it's the parents, grandparents, or a nanny creating and maintaining that routine. The dad would be in big trouble with the mom if he screwed up the routine too, so it's no different with the nanny. The dad is the AH for treating his kids like toys he can put back in the toy box when he's done playing with them. He wants all the fun and none of the consequences of having to deal with giving a bath and putting to bed two young boys he just riled up with rough housing.

[@HobieInTheBox]

BABE WAKE UP, MARK POSTED

[@bookkeepersnest]

Joseph King of Dreams also Dreamworks. Not as iconic as the Prince of Egypt but still a good one

[@marcusegan8682]

I honestly feel sorry for the cousin. She was bullied, and now she is being victim blamed and punished for being bullied.

[@SCP01986]

I don't feel sorry for her at all. She's spineless.

[@debc6260]

Yeah, my mother had her wedding through me. Except for the dress that I hated, it wasn't so bad. String quartet, my favorite tulips, I got my stuffed mushrooms. Took the heat off my younger sister when it was her turn so it was all good. But WOW, I hated that dress.

[@grungekitty77]

20:10 Can attest to this! Dad has no idea why my brother and I took Mom's side in the divorce, but he was an asshole to her and she was the parent that knew when picture day was, had my McDonald's order memorized, and made sure our clothes fit. Once he made it a war we had to choose sides in, no amount of fun outings is going to compare to the actual parenting mom did. I will always choose my mom's side. He still cries "parental alienation" like that's a thing when the "children" in question are grown adults. 🙄

[@anntphamvo87]

Babe, stop the car. Mark just dropped another one.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: Mom is mega-cray. It's probably for the best that OP can't have kids. Mom might try to kidnap them. While I feel somewhat bad for the cousin, what she did crossed a line. OP was right to drop her.

[@youngloki1]

Lmao he simped for the last story 😂😂😂😂 Talking bout you mark 😂😂😂

[@babybookworm003]

Nothing like mark after breakfast

[@MarkNarrations]

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@gcarr1089]

If OP knew cousin told why didn't she meet at the restaurant and go to another, while not allowing cousin to make a phone call so mum wouldn't get to see them.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good morning hope all is well!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hello Frieda, all is well here. How about your good self?

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@MarkNarrations I am doing good, tired but good

[@AmukaAkuma]

Story 2: The dad is a bit of a tool disrupting the nanny, but he is in his given right to play with his children, from whom he is forcefully separated to provide them all with a comfortable life. I would love to know the reaction of OP if he proclaimed he wanted a 9-5 with a substantial pay-cut so that he could spend more time with the kids. Would she be happy about that, I am not entirely convinced.

[@recycledapathy7411]

If Dad really does feel like the nanny is replacing him, he should, IDK, let the nanny go home when he gets there, don't you think? If he's as shitty to his employees at his job as he is to the nanny, I'm amazed he even still has a job.

[@tauntingsableye9474]

Then he needs to play with the kids at a reasonable time and not disrupt their routine. He keeps creating a problem and leaving the nanny and op to deal with it because he doesn't want to deal with the problem himself. Op also works a full-time job on top of childcare so if he took a pay cut to be able to spend more time with the kids, it wouldn't leave them destitute. At most, they would probably have to just cut back on a few extras. People love bringing in the money aspect and use it as a trump card or something. He needs to either respect the kids routine or let the nanny leave and clean up the mess he created himself

[@bettreon]

@@recycledapathy7411 well if daddy can handle bet time routine all by himself shouldn't mommy be able to as well? Or is it just different because mommy is a woman? If the mom and nanny cant change something for really 1 day while the nanny is there so he can bond with his kids then the nanny isn't as good as OP says she is. I also bet lots of money that op is the type of mom who says it's my way or the highway when it comes to everything about raising the kids. She'll be on here in a few years asking why her husband has checked out and her kids can't stand her.

[@samuelcarter4244]

Ironic the people calling sexism are the ones who tend to be most sexist. OP made it clear how much he works and she thinks him being able to spend time and enjoy his limited time with his kids instead of providing for them as a bad thing because both sides see it as a special occasion? ESH at her best case scenario, YTA at worse if she’s not giving us the entire story it seems.

[@recycledapathy7411]

@@bettreon Mom isn't the one crying that she is being replaced. Mom's fine with paying someone to do the job she hired them to do, as opposed to expecting them to do their job and extra work due to her interfering.

[@andrewalexander9492]

OK, don't invite her to meetings with vendors or venues. Don't tell her you have a meeting with a vendor or venue, so she can't invite herself. If someone calls about an appointment she set up, tell then you didn't make the appointment and apologize for the misunderstanding, tell them you won't be there.

[@KuroAlis]

The cousin most likely didn't want to hurt OP, but there are people who simply cannot lie or hide the truth. There was most likely not much that the mothers did to get the info, cousin has been programmed all her life to just do as she's told, kinda feel bad for her tbh, but don't get me wrong she was entirely in the wrong for folding.

[@jpbaley2016]

S1 - unless your last name is something you seriously need because of your profession. Both partners of the couple should consider changing their names to something completely different. My niece wanted to show her commitment to her husband and vice versa so they changed their names to a combination of their two names. By doing so, it makes it easy to sort your mail as you would only need to tell a few trusted people the name and a lot more difficult for the couple to be found. It also can be a big “F” you to the parent by letting them know they no longer consider them family.

[@PeterShipley1]

Story 1: OP either get her cousin counseling, or use her to feed false information

[@stevenfrost3469]

Story 2: So yes, YTA, but just barely. They are his kids, too, whether or not the Nanny is there. He is their dad, but if he's gonna come in and roll around with them, he needs to also understand their schedule. He probably feels bad about how little time he has with them, and his job may tire him out, so its very likely he's exhausted when he gets home. He does need to follow the Nanny's lead, but she's not in charge. She and he are. Kids dont absolutely need to ve in bed at a certain time, and he needs to have some bonding time that isn't just getting them ready for bed. This isnt a cut and dry, so yes YTA, but marginally so.

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Second story Answer is, Dad has a busy work schedule, and limited time to interact with the kids, and rough housing is beneficial play. The simple answer is to slightly adjust their schedule. Build in time to rough house with Dad, have a sit down with all three of you, discuss how this can be reasonably done to keep from making Nannies job harder, but allows their father to have a part in their lives. Not that difficult.

[@tinak2576]

It’s pretty sad the cousin lost who was possibly her only ally in the family. It sounds like she’s been beaten down (not literally) by the “adults.”

[@Josku2411]

Oop great timing as i'm just headed into the shower after swapping out the tires on my grandmas car and washing mine and her car since the weather today was delightful

[@MarkNarrations]

Productive day Josku, love to hear it!

[@bluefox2844]

Story 1: at first I felt a little bad for the mom thinking though she is certainly being overbearing she's just thrilled and excited to support you. I was thinking perhaps you could let her control one small specific thing like center pieces or flatware just to make her happy and give her something to put all that energy into... But then she had to go and get all homophobic and every drop of sympathy she had gotten from me dried up faster than a rain drop in the desert.

[@pippo17173]

I was waiting for that since the info of them being lesbians. However I'm a Little more shock with the cousin but I guess that is what happens when op admits she has no spine.

[@thesoulofdark]

Man that mum is one unhinged gate

[@michelleb2669]

Nanny story:. Is the father abusive? Sounds like no. Does he provide for there needs? Yes. DAD IS IN CHARGE!!! Could you imagine a woman in the exact same position? The father usurping her role as a mother and asking her to defer to the nanny. There would be a slew of comments about; "you are following your career. You are the one paying. You are tired and contribute more to the household income. You pay for the nanny so you can have positive time with your kids when you are available." Unless there is a very compelling reason to take the right of a parent with his children...she is the asshole.

[@TheLastHylianTitan]

I hope we get another update to story 1. I need to see karma hit Mom, Aunt and Cousin where it hurts. it's gonna bother me like crazy if this story ends here. awful people need to get what's coming to them and I need to know that OP and Wife are safe.

[@dillongage]

If the cousins being bullied shes a victim bruh. Still cut contact, your issues dont excuse betraying someones trust, but shes not a horrible person. Cutting contact is punishment enough.

[@simonO712]

I really don't think the cousin needs any more suffering in her life; her own conscience and the constant bullying by family members is more than enough. While she did betray OP, she's also a victim.

[@TheLastHylianTitan]

Y’all are better more well adjusted people than me and it fucking shows. Yeah you’re right. She’s got her own toxic parental figures to break free from. I wouldn’t forgive her for blabbing tho. I would never stop being mad. Maybe I’m petty. But I stand by that choice.

[@victoriaherndon6857]

Last story: something not even mentioned is the nanny has already adjusted her schedule tremendously to accommodate this family. It's very rude that the husband messes up the routine and makes the nanny late getting off work. She has other things to do as well, I don't care that his paycheck pays her. What if she uses public transport? What if she has her own kids? Absolutely beyond disrespectful she isn't just "the help"

[@candypettynettie487]

S1- How old is the cousin? Im glad OP and her wife grew a spine.

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Story 2 - Don’t marry somebody who travels for work. I’ve never seen it end well.

[@jenswurm]

Story 2: there is nothing wrong with an employer deferring to an employee, especially if the employee is specifically hired for being a specialist in something. The employer may give a general direction, but would be well advised to leave the details to the specialist and to listen to the specialist's advice and concerns.

[@fhuber7507]

Anyone showing up to a wedding wearing a wedding dress, other than the bride, needs a bucket of paint dumped on their head.

[@DigitalCowboy000]

In the first/title story it was the OP's *NOT* the mother's. It's too bad that the mother didn't have the wedding of her dreams, but it *ISN'T* the OP's responsibility to make up for that. I loved how the OP's mother *NOT* only showed up at the wedding, but in a wedding dress *BUT* claimed it was *HER* wedding.

[@kelleygreengrass]

The mom is obviously having a psychotic break

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Yee ha! Another wonderful day! Crack on Mark...you are awesome!

[@MarkNarrations]

YYYYYEEEHAAWW!

[@Mammongus]

aww yis, wedding drama!

[@paden1865able]

I know what's best for my daughter, and that's to make her own decisions and follow her heart. It was hard to let go, but I knew that's what I had to do for her to have a great life. I'm there when she needs or wants me, but I don't push in.

[@kitkatandanongacha6339]

W mom

[@Yemto]

I usually find some comments by sorting by controversial and then CTRL+F and then search for YTA

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 1: I remember this story. Never thought I'd see more updates. My opinion still stands. OP is definitely NTA. It's a shame that her mother didn't get the wedding of her dreams, but she doesn't get to live through her daughter. She had her chance to walk down the aisle, now it's her daughter's turn. And OP is right. If she wants the wedding of her dreams, then she should get remarried. Although good luck trying to find a willing groom with that selfish attitude. I'm glad OP and her fianceè uninvited her toxic mom from the wedding AND have gone no contact with her. It's clear she's not going to change and OP is better off without that toxicity in her life. I'm so happy she had a lovely wedding and a lovely honeymoon with her new wife. ❤️💕❤️ After Extra information: Holy Cow! (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠) Poor OP......... she has an absolute narcissistic lunatic for a mother. (⁠٥⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠) I'm outraged for her! This is another perfect example for a woman who should've NEVER married or had children. I hope OP can get a restraining order against her birth giver. And the cousin was absolutely wrong to cave in. It's sad that OP had to cut ties with her cousin, but it's clear that she can't be trusted anymore. Hopefully this will force her to realize that trying to cave in to crazy is going to NEVER going to do any good.

[@tracygardner6318]

Mothers do not always know best

[@ozamyla]

Why didn't the cousin say anything to the OP? Like hey our moms have been bullying me etc and I caved. Just a heads up