I Believe My Wife Is Hiding Something, So I Installed A Keylogger To Find The Truth r/Relationships

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

Story 1: This relationship is already over.

[@paulastiles5507]

This relationship has been dead and gone so long, it can't even come back as a Ray Harryhausen skeleton. She's basically never been faithful to him. Either he needs to reconcile himself to that (not something I'd do, that's for sure) or leave.

[@anwarpine6797]

Yeah, if you have to go that far to find out the truth your ship has already sunk

[@paulastiles5507]

@@anwarpine6797 Exactly. I don't see anybody here suggesting he should just accept that she's cheating or not leave her. But the dynamic between these two is super-messed up.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

It's severely damaged and definitely could be on its way to dead... but that dude acted like a man on his first gut instinct & took appropriate action to catch her lying in the early stages of her normal woman amorality. He's threatened her with definitive consequences & has a good exit plan... he's in a dominant power position & she can either get better at or get gone.

[@mikewalls2694]

We can grow closer together by living separate lives? She would be fine just living together until the kids are older? Why are you playing pick me with this woman? She has no respect for you and you doing all the work to save the marriage will only make her respect you less. Men need to start acting like men again.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: Gotta love how OP's wife went from "no longer needing the support of someone else" to doing a 180 after she's found out when OP threatens to take the kids and move in with his parents

[@nursebee-vomit5058]

It’s funny that she doesn’t realize she’ll get all the freedom she wants if they divorce. I don’t judge people for partying sometimes, but parents have a thin line to walk with how much they do it. Maybe having the kiddos with her future ex-husband would make it easier. When they get older I can’t help but think they will be embarrassed of their mom for valuing the thrill of an affair more than maintaining a healthy environment for them. Op isn’t great, but he sounds more like a responsible adult than she is.

[@squirrel670]

@@nursebee-vomit5058 if he was reasonable he'd know it was already over. Neither of them wanted to really leave so maybe it's codependency

[@WobblesandBean]

@@squirrel670 He's a sleaze for keylogging his own wife, she's a sleaze for cheating. They're both horrible.

[@oceana3070]

@@WobblesandBean I think he acted more out of desperation than trying to be sleazy. It’s not like he was getting off on being a voyeur. He asked if something was up and she vehemently denied it with apparently what to OP looked like an obvious lie. And surprise surprise, he was right. And luckily the key logger provided vital evidence that he needs for his divorce case, otherwise she would’ve lied it never existed when she deleted it unless he has records. So OP was actually being pretty savvy here, and hopefully will be in a good position to take care of his kids (something she doesn’t seem too concerned about).

[@irontemplar5570]

@@WobblesandBean found the cheater

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "Yes, hello, police? There's a woman here with a nose piercing and too much eyeliner. You need to come arrest her, she's distracting me"

[@ggdail]

Story 1: Holy Gaslighting, Batman! He needs to call it quits because he will (rightfully) have trouble trusting her & drive himself nuts trying to monitor her every movement.

[@ronhall5395]

Well she made it clear once he told her what info he had( nice fake on his part as he had very little),that she was actively pursuing an affair. That would be enough for me. She really thought he was just going to cave in an let her do her thing? He needs to pack the kids stuff up and get out. Finish the financial separation then move in with Mom for a bit. See that divorce lawyer and find out your options. You don't have to get a divorce just because you file. You want her to be like she used to be,but that is impossible. People change. She doesn't want a divorce or she would not have tried so hard to hide it. Make her decide, screw her trainer or stay married. Unfortunately, even if she apologized, I doubt it would be sincere. She hs an itch she wants scratched and not by you. She will just hide it better next time.

[@sfsin3380]

Thing is she already broken up with him before the key-logger found anything. They weren't officially divorced but she had verbally started the separation. He found nothing even with all his monitoring till a week and a half after she had the dear John conversion. Is that ridiculously fast? Yes suspiciously so but not impossible. Is it proof of cheating? debatable if they weren't married it be a defiantly no but again suspicious. However because they are married this is in a giant grey area. OP needs to be very careful a Judge may fall on the it's not cheating side and all the c**p he's pulled could be found out and come back to bite him badly

[@invisible123-l9d]

@@ronhall5395 She told him that he was not giving her what she needed. Had he been a better partner, and LISTENED to her, and TAKEN HER SERIOUSLY, and been willing to change, and give her what she needed, she would not have felt the need to look elsewhere. You lot on here think that men have no responsibilities, and need make no effort, in relationships. You don't have the balls to be civil, so do not bore me with your sexist c***

[@yellit1975]

Story 1. I don’t think that this relationship will last. The wife was gaslighting OP while planning an affair with another guy. Not sure that the trust can be rebuilt. Story 2. I think that OP is heading for a divorce.

[@WobblesandBean]

Regarding the bridezilla, I certainly hope she's headed for divorce, for the sake of her poor groom.

[@zerobolt9506]

Agreed

[@cl1cka]

Story 1, yep, but on the other hand OP sounds like complete insecure psycho control freak, so I can see why the wife want to get away from him.....

[@robertx8020]

@@cl1cka LOL ...He should just 'trust her ' , right?

[@cl1cka]

@@robertx8020 Yes? But I am not even referring to this specific case - his whole way of speaking and demeanor screams CONTROL and INSECURE. It's me me me me. I don't condone cheating, this relationship is over - period. But my point is - by his actions and personality, I don't really blame her for wanting to leave him. Also there is a saying - "It's my choice to trust, it's your choice to betray that trust". The moment you feel the need to install key-loggers - this is over, no matter what you find.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: Biggest red flag to me was that instead of proving her innocence, she calls him crazy and says he has to trust her, while continuing to shut him out and imply she'd be willing to stay solely for the kids. Like that's a good thing.

[@CarinaCoffee]

"Police emergency line, what is it you're calling about?" "You need to send officers to wedding location x IMMEDIATELY!!!" "OK ma'am, what is the issue at wedding location X?" "There's this server here who is prettier than me and who is doing her job! You need to come arrest her RIGHT NOW! She is RUINING my WEDDING!" ...

[@OZARKMOON1960]

If I'd taken the call, it is a toss up over just hanging up or laughing myself silly and loudly announcing this nonsense to the entire dispatch center. OH! How about sending officers to arrest the bride for abusing 911 lines? Yes, that one is much better!

[@GhostBear3067]

​@@OZARKMOON1960laugh and then send the cops, make sure the laughter makes it into the recording.

[@impagain]

I legit don't understand. It's so easy not to cheat?? You just... don't do anything at all! If you're not getting what you need, then you talk about it with your partner, the person you're supposed to trust most in this life!

[@ronhall5395]

Exactly just talk to your partner. Why do they always decide to go jump on some stud? Another broken family because mom got horny.

[@meirin5316]

ikr. i had many chances to cheat. truth is if you are committed: you are not interrested. i just say dood im in a committed relationship and cut those people out immediately. i dont need such weirdos around me.

[@invisible123-l9d]

MEN need to be willing to LISTEN to women and TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY, and DO what is required, WITHOUT expecting a reward for every little thing they do.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "I'll have to confess to the Spyware and go to definite divorce" and that's a _good_ thing Op. If she's cheating, which it absolutely sounds like she is, then divorce is going to happen no matter what. She's just trying to manipulate you by saying the divorce would be _your_ fault for spying rather than _hers_ for _cheating._

[@DragonicGamer32]

@Owl that's exactly what I was thinking. Her comment about "If I find out you're spying on me we're divorcing immediately" brought that to mind. Well he spied on her and her reaction was to love bomb him lol. It turns out she wasn't fully ready for the outcome.

[@invisible123-l9d]

None of you would ever judge a MAN for cheating.

[@owl7072]

@@invisible123-l9d 1. Where did this come from 2. Yes tf we would

[@invisible123-l9d]

Maybe if he had been a better husband, LISTENED to her, TOOK HER SERIOUSLY, and been willing to step up, and provide what she needed, she would not have felt the need to look elsewhere. MEN need to start looking at themselves, and stop blaming women for everything. None of you have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner.

[@owl7072]

@user-hk2fc4jv2g Nothing excuses cheating. If you're that unhappy then talk or leave, but don't justify it with that "YOU weren't doing enough for me" bullshit, because it only makes you look worse. Cheating is an active decision and process that you _choose_ to go through because you're too much of a coward to act like an adult who makes mature decisions. Notice how she threatened to leave then backtracked immediately. She's a coward.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Hold up. So during the early part of this relationship, the wife bailed out on the husband. Twice for another man. This should have been a red flag! It seems to me like she was treating him as the fallback plan. When it didn't work with one of the other exes she just walked back to him. And now she's ready to Branch out again.

[@catandrobbyflores]

can't imagine why she would bail with his sunny, not coming off as abusive and controlling personality. s/ this guy isn't blameless either

[@Russman67]

@@catandrobbyflores Not arguing that. Doubting he's a saint. Seems like a bad fallback options

[@squirrel670]

@@Russman67 she was with her exes when they went on a break so not technically leaving him for the exes. The relationship was messed up enough to have multiple breaks in it.

[@Russman67]

@@squirrel670 the relationship was messed up enough to end a long time before we got here

[@beermebro]

@@catandrobbyflores rolls eyes

[@Khaisz.]

Story 2: the problem with her insecurity wasn't just targeted at the server, remember that she also told her guests to dress in black matte clothes with no/minimal makeup. I do wonder what she dressed her husband in though, and yes I mean dressed, because there is no way in hell that he was allowed to choose a single piece of clothing himself.

[@mollyoconnor9365]

Honestly it's very sad to be so insecure in your own looks that you have to knock everyone else down a peg in order to feel beautiful...

[@sonialinsey8083]

I wish my husband and I could have been there, we look ridiculously good in black. We’re that couple that’s just lowkey goth. Would have gladly drawn the hate off that poor server. I do, however, have one of those hideous nose studs 🤣

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: *YTA* She was only distracting because OP PERSONALLY didn’t like how the girl looked…. “It’s my wedding and I don’t want someone else over shining me“ FFS…. It was blatantly obvious OP was insecure about not standing out at the wedding when she demanded her guests wear very minimal make up….

[@Kageoni187]

Story 1: OP needs to understand a broken marriage where they stay together for the kids does more damage than ending it and putting your energy into healing and healthy co parenting.

[@nathanhinman9069]

That server should receive full pay for what she was put through and can't wait to see the update "My husband is divorcing me for being a Karenzilla"

[@MortalOrder]

Yeah I hope the manager was like “yeah go home; you’ll receive pay for the rest of your shift”

[@sonialinsey8083]

I assume he did because it seemed like he didn’t even understand what the problem was (considering he didn’t even keep her in the “back”). Bride’s mom sounds like we know where she got it from.

[@heatherv3417]

Story 1: well, she said she thought she could be independent. Looks like she’s going to learn the hard way whether that’s true or not

[@bricksloth6920]

[reads title] :WELL THIS CAN'T END WELL:

[@UchuKejiMovan]

Got my 🍿 ready 😂

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Yeah, that is a title that is going bad one way or another

[@Ars-Nova258]

Story 1: Single mom, flirty, got back with more than one ex (let alone any) during “breaks”, hides her social media posts, changes passwords after a Bachelorette party (where infidelity is as common as oxygen), gaslights by holding the threat of divorce if OP asks questions or expresses doubt… she’s 100% emotionally cheating at best. She’s a living red flag that should have never have been married. Updates: CALLED IT!

[@trinitylane2202]

Yeah. I think if I were OP I'd do paternity tests on the children.

[@ronhall5395]

Bachelorette party for three days in Vegas. Oh boy. I don't care who else was there stuff happens in Vegas. Add in the fact she is aggressive anyways and gets super flirty after drinking. I wonder if her physical therapist happened to bein Vegas that weekend?

[@trillionbones89]

Congratulations

[@BerryTrekkin]

Story 2: even if the server WAS dressed inappropriately (she wasn’t but let’s just pretend she was), OP never made these rules clear to the company. If you want something a certain way then you need to add it into your contract, not just assume a company is going to know your guest dress code and dress their employees accordingly. Hope the poor server didn’t lose out on pay due to Mrs Bridezilla

[@jackspring7709]

This Bridezilla was a BridekarenZilla.

[@riley6740]

I would have done the same thing. Who wants to be served by someone with face piercings and all those tattooed, pierced faces? Certainly not me. I actually had some chick serve customers with so many piercings and black eye makeup (thick). Needless to say, the party I was with, all got up and went to leave. Manager came running out and asked if the service or food was bad. The guy, whose party it was, told him to go back inside and look at our server. Then he can ask what was the matter. I knew the owner (restaurant owner here. We’re a tight bunch) and let him know what went down at that location. We went back another time and it seemed he implemented a dress code for the staff.

[@jackspring7709]

@@riley6740 You and OP in Story 2 sound like a perfect match.

[@crissantos44]

@@riley6740 omg I can't stop laughing at the sheer stupidity of this comment 🤣

[@owl7072]

@Gabrielle B what do piercings have to do with food? It's not like they're putting their face or whatever in the food or wearing jewelry so big it falls/dips into it. As long as it doesn't actually make it physically impossible to cook or serve food then it doesn't matter. I work in the food industry, I have coworkers who have piercings, _nobody cares or bats an eye._

[@DanaG1970]

On the second story a co-worker of the waitress chimed in and said that the drive to the event was 3 and half hours for most of the staff and that the girl that sent home got paid for the whole night. This is why I’m glad I don’t work in the wedding business, I’d be telling people to F off all the time. Lol

[@Silent_Ghoul]

Honestly if I was the manager I would have taken all my staff and let the bridezilla serve herself.

[@DanaG1970]

@@Silent_Ghoul that would be a good possibility as well.

[@cathybaldry7822]

This is management's problem for letting dress code slip and/or setting the staff dress code to low. A high end wedding function is not a biker bar. It isn't a pub wear guys love a bar chick to pawn over them to get their numbers.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

I mean, I don't like nose studs either, but I can't imagine being so insecure on my wedding day that I was worried about an ordinary server's everyday casual makeup and piercings. The bride was probably the only person who thought twice about it.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

This bride was so insecure she thought the server was taking away attention.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

@@Alberto-wu1mj Right? How plain is this bride?

[@mollyoconnor9365]

@@Alberto-wu1mj Also, what a sad thing to be so focused on when this supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. Instead of enjoying the celebrations with her family and the man that she loves, she zeroes in on what another woman (not even a guest!) is wearing and ruins the whole event for herself. I honestly can't imagine being so insecure that you are more focused on a teenage server's looks than the fact that you've just married the love of your life.

[@flowerjpotter1629]

@@mollyoconnor9365 And thinking she could call the police. They would have laughed their heads off " Remove her, she's too attractive".

[@cathybaldry7822]

So if you went to a wedding function at a 5 star hotel you wouldn't bat an eyelid being served a chick dressed like she belonged in a biker bar with clown up that belonged on a fish from a tropical fish tank?

[@AliKatt0]

omg your "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE REST OF MY OYSTERS?!" voice killed me 😂😂

[@bbwsenpai2562]

Right 😂

[@Mrsbraynen08]

Yeees looooool

[@mollyoconnor9365]

How sad for OP that she is so insecure about her own appearance she feels she has to tear other women down so she can "stand out" on her own wedding day. As if someone else being beautiful or even just looking nice could take away from how beautiful she looks. The reason why a lot of brides DO look absolutely radiant and gorgeous on their wedding days is because they're beaming with happiness because they're marrying the love of their life, and that's all that should matter. That kind of love and happiness is a beautiful look on a person. Besides, personally, I don't think it matters if EVERYONE in the room thinks you're the most beautiful person in the room. As long as your partner does. It's such a highschool frame of mind to view other women as competition like this, and instead of focusing inwards and reflecting on where that insecurity comes from, she leaps to blame the other person for making her feel insecure by existing as an attractive person. OP, jealousy and insecurity looks very ugly on you.

[@jettanyx1]

#1 it’s pretty normal to drift apart living separate lives, even then a relationship takes work, make time to spend together. Rather than tell him her feelings she runs off to an affair, the quick reward while wrecking her his and the children lives

[@invisible123-l9d]

MEN need to put in the effort, and stop demanding that women do all the hard work. He clearly never LISTENED to her, or TOOK HER SERIOUSLY. HE made no effort to give her what she needed.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Her deleting the texts, then putting a lock on her passwords, and being possessive of her phone? Classic cheater behavior. Leave her. She's straight-up lied to your face, gaslit you, and threatened that your suspicions (which were right!) were going to push her away. No. She's already got one foot out the door. You'll never be able to trust her again, and "staying for the kids" is a terrible idea unless you want to model "how to be a doormat and stay in a toxic relationship because you're too scared to leave (while claiming it's for the kids)." S2: Wut? How could you not be TA? Are you really that clueless and unable to do the slightest bit of self-reflection? This bridezilla "it's MY wedding, my rules" attitude has gone too far. Oh, and by the way, the whole "don't outshine the bride at the wedding" rule means no wearing white, and no proposing/announcing a pregnancy/coming out etc. It does NOT mean picking on a waiter because she's prettier than you, and forcing all your guests to dress down making them as unattractive as possible so that you can be the prettiest woman in the world. 🙄 Yes, OP, since you need help adding one and one. YTA.

[@GBunnyG]

Ah, two stories that explain why I laugh uproariously when people ask why I don't date/get into relationships. Lord no

[@jamie7398]

Right? I'll happily grow old alone or perhaps with a pet.

[@GBunnyG]

@@jamie7398 My 60 pound tortoise will be around long after any partner drives me to drinking. 🥂

[@RylieRiddle]

S2: YTA because you ruined your own wedding by hyper focusing on something so small and probably got a young woman fired from a job she needed. Why just ask the server's boss to ask her to remove her earrings and give her a better top? Or let her remain behind the bar so she's to the side and not mingling amongst the guests? Or grow the hell up and accept you are the bride so all the focus is already on you and not on a server dressed like all the other servers? Like the one comment said, you need a therapist to get over these insecurities you have toward someone you perceive as slighting you with their accessories.

[@BW022]

Story 1: So, I dated a single mother, let her break up repeatedly where she slept with other guys and then came back to me, paid for her daughter, she is an extrovert who likes to flirt (even while we are together) and who goes out drinking, but... I have two kids with her before being married, allow her to go on girl's trips to Vegas and get sloshed drunk (even though she has three kids), we don't have an open phone and social media platform, she threatens to leave me rather than allow me to see her social media, she comes back and says she wants to live apart to "strengthen" the relationship, and... I'm shocked to find her cheating! Even then I go to counselling, demand things change or else... I move out, and I think I might have to divorce her. Dude. Don't get married again, stop going to counselling, never speak with her outside your lawyer's office, and try to get custody of your two kids.

[@danacarter9147]

The family courts are profoundly biased against fathers, so, if OP's wife doesn't clean up her act, she'll lose her kids to foster care, and ultimately, to adoptive parents.

[@tinycrimester]

story 1: i thought op sounded a bit paranoid until he talked to his wife and she just tried to brush it off / flip it, then i was immediately like SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

[@jennilynne1977]

The second story was just ridiculous. That's one hell of a bridezilla. I hope everyone is having a great day/evening/night! Peace, hugs and love to you all!

[@lsmmoore1]

Clearly Mark thought so too - he broke character while reading that story. He usually doesn't break character when reading these stories, but he did so no less than twice while reading this one.

[@Swnsasy]

That woman was batshit crazy! Nobody is bothered except her! I don't know if it's insecurities or controlling! What a nutcase! Omgosh insane

[@LOLtz1]

OP's wife was already filled with red flags when she would sleep with her exes during "breaks"

[@daviddow8150]

Once a spouse lies to you and accepts lying as an acceptable way of communicating, it is over.

[@terribleeditor4556]

Story 2: I can just imagine the manager just trying his best to move the server around so the bride wouldn't see but she bride was like actively looking for her. but I really hope he just approached the bride "this chick's crazy just go home for the day you have full pay for the day" because seriously? Who is so insecure that they're jealous of a server doing their job?? Just because she was wearing makeup and jewelry??

[@dragonleheart2137]

Mark, as a fellow Bucket Woman fan I was listening to the last story and imagining Hyacinth as the bride with Rose as the waitress. Probably with the rest of the cast looking on and thinking “glad she’s not near me right now” 😂.

[@yef122]

oohh that's a great way to visualize the last story!

[@AndreNDP]

IT'S BOU-QUET!!!!!!!

[@soogymoogi]

LMAOO

[@louellacharlton4425]

Omg I love that program. And yes that would be funny.

[@teacherbecca526]

RICHARD!

[@biikuajet]

I've done the exact same thing. Installed a keylogger on my girlfriends computer and learned exactly what i knew/suspected.

[@5H4D3]

If I was the husband in story 2 I'd be rethinking my marriage right now.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: I hate it when people cheat because “They haven’t been feeling their needs met/aren’t satisfied.” Just talk to your partner. But then again, it seems that in this particular case it feels like she was just using him for finances. I feel bad for their kids. Hopefully this doesn’t affect them too much

[@invisible123-l9d]

Maybe if men LISTENED to their partners, TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY, and were willing to meet their needs, instead of taking all the time and giving nothing, fewer women would feel the need to look elsewhere. You lot on here blame women for everything , and support MEN who cheat.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - if the physical therapist works for a company report him, they will not be happy he is having affairs with clients, OPs wife might not be the one. Story 2 -I wonder how much discount did OP wanted from the catering company ?

[@Batman-st4hq]

Story 1: OP went so far to install Spyware because he knew his wife was lying and she lied to his face and rrued to turn it on him and saying he just needs to trust her and he's pushing her away with this. Like before the Spyware the relationship was already dead, especially with her talking about living separate lives while keeping up a loving "parent appearance" in front of the family. Who even thinks like that, that's not a marriage and that's not even a family at that point. If I found that out I'd hate my parents because it my life would've been nothing but a lie because the parents wanted a false sense of security. This marriage is over and is nothing but a joke. He needs to divorce and with them making almost equal hopefully it won't be too messy

[@philwill0123]

This. once hes installed Spyware, shes either cheating or hes waiting to "catch" her. Its honestly not worth it at that point

[@onepieceisking5493]

I think she only asked that because she knew everyone was going to hate her and she no longer was going to have her kids, a free roof or income.

[@stellamccoy5259]

I hate the, "you're not giving me what I want". But do they ever talk to their spouses and tell them this? No. Cheaters are so damn selfish.

[@knitwit9447]

Story 1- literally nothing about that relationship is healthy. Divorce, get a custody agreement, and move on. But also though I know it ended up helping him, the key logger just feels...strange, to me.

[@catandrobbyflores]

that's going to bite him in court.

[@echtemeid415]

Right? She's wrong, but so is he. Tracking somebody without their knowledge and lying about it is not a good thing either. That's not what a normal, healthy relationship looks like. He went from 'I want to make this work because I love her but I think she is cheating' to 'I know she hasn't cheated yet but she wanted to, and now I don't want her no more because she lied'. She did lie, but so did he. Him then saying 'the ball is now in my court, I call all the shots' feels a little weird to me. Two wrongs don't make a right. They should split and both go there own ways. The trust is broken in that relationship and staying together for the sake of the children is probably only gonna cause resentment and a lot of pain for everybody.

[@knitwit9447]

@@echtemeid415 The 'I call all the shots' creeped me out too. He sounds...maybe not controlling, but unhealthily attached and willing to do fucked up stuff.

[@catsithx]

Story one: he needs to dump her. Go through with it she already shown she is not trust worthy.

[@brigidtheirish]

OP isn't exactly a great catch, either.

[@leegraves8878]

@@brigidtheirish Yes because cheaters are such moral great people????

[@solmas2111]

@@leegraves8878 neither are great

[@leegraves8878]

@@solmas2111 Well when someone is cheating all bets are off.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@leegraves8878 Nobody said that. But stalkers are worse.

[@diarradunlap9337]

OP #1 needs to lawyer up, go gray rock/180°, get all the additional evidence he can, and then aim for full Extinction Level in the divorce.

[@DragonicGamer32]

The very moment she made that comment about "spying on me" already told me all I needed to know. No sane person would jump to that conclusion unless they had something to hide. And considering she turned a complete 180 when he mentioned leaving and taking the kids tells me her bluff was full of BS in the first place. She knew she would eventually be caught and wanted to nip it in the bud with an empty threat. Now she's being attentive and loving. I bet it's because these other men see her as a side piece and wouldn't actually pursue a full relationship with her.

[@neonlights3739]

PERFECT timing! I was just replying to my comment with an update, but I’ll put it here instead! I can happily say, we are home safe! AND we’ve got power! Quite a bit of yard work to do, got some upturned trees and a broken fence, but nothing some yard work and campfires can’t fix! Most importantly, everyone is happy, healthy, and safe! Talking with some friends to maybe get together and knock out the cleaning process in each of our houses!

[@julianne089]

Too many people don’t realize that they’re the wicked witch in their “fairy tale” wedding...

[@k-avocado395]

Story 1: when the guy sees the conversation and says “what do I do” all I can hear in my head is Adele “divorce babe… divorce”🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: from all OP has wrote it is NOT the first time she cheated , it is only the first time he caught on

[@bookmarkr7694]

Story 2: OP strikes me as the kind of person who snaps their fingers at retail employees and demands that everyone serve them at all times

[@Lady.B0420]

Story 1, OP needs to wake up and leave the relationship. It's over buddy, you are never going to be able to trust her again.

[@mercedeseales]

1- Big signs when they go from always having a unlocked phone to locked and password protected. Been there got the t shirt. Always follow your gut.

[@WhiteRoseNeko]

I've never caught a video this hot off the press before! I am at the bank getting a small personal loan today to jumpstart my new life with my amazing future husband! I am so excited! This is the best I've felt in a while. I just wanted to say thank you for the videos because they have really helped this past year that's been so hellish. Your voice is soothing and I love your humor and it's just like hanging out with a friend, so thank you. 👐💜

[@mrsmonroe7147]

🎉 CONGRATS AND BEST WISHES 🎉

[@jennilynne1977]

Congratulations! Another KZbinr you might be interested in (she talks about true crime and dark history, so if you don't like those kind of videos, you might not like her) is Bailey Sarian. Her videos are like chatting with a friend too.

[@WhiteRoseNeko]

Thank you guys so much! The well wishes are so appreciated! Thanks for the referral to Bailey, she's very interesting and I enjoyed her talking about Coke lol!

[@jennilynne1977]

@@WhiteRoseNeko I love listening to her and MrBallen for non Reddit stories. Bailey is like sitting and listening to the latest gossip with your friends and MrBallen is an awesome storyteller. He could probably make reading the phone book interesting (if phone books still exist), although he's mainly a strange, dark and mysterious storyteller.

[@mrbunnny]

Dude Mark we need your take on Story 2 man I don’t even know what to think about that

[@brigidtheirish]

1: Anyone else suspect this isn't the first time he's had a "gut feeling" and went snooping on her electronics? Because I rather strongly suspect this is only the first time he *found* something. 2: Damn. How *dare* a server *serve guests* and wear *simple earrings.*

[@indianspartan76]

Well he mentioned that during their "breaks," she went back to get exes. Why he stuck with her after that is anyone's guess

[@SherriLyle80s]

A very volatile couple. They just need to divorce already.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@indianspartan76 Dunno. He sounds creepy, so maybe she was the only one willing to get into bed with him.

[@ggdail]

Probably, but she's already cheated on him before, so it wasn't like he was off base.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

@@indianspartan76 Exactly. She's had dudes on tap for their entire relationship, and this guy wants to think there's something worth saving here.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - I think OP has just never caught her in a lie before. I mean, she said she didn't feel like she needed someone to support her any more. Did she only look upon OP as a meal ticket that was safe and secure for the moment? I don't see them coming back from this.

[@trillionbones89]

"has gone back to her exes during our breaks" Sigh, here we go again.

[@CaulkMongler]

Story 1: there is *no* coming back from this. He gave her every chance to be honest with him, and she turned around and totally gaslit him. But just because she got caught, he’s supposed to be able to trust her anyway? Rich. She’ll only get better at hiding her tracks.

[@dm9078]

Pathetic. It is over. See a lawyer. This woman has been using him. She doesn’t love him she told him that. She’s only turned around because she was caught.

[@mattdavis4248]

Story 1 - "She has never lied to me before this." Yes, she has you ding dong.

[@dracawyn]

Story 2: plot twist, op is a closet lesbian and was enraged when she was attracted to the server and didn't know how to deal with her emotions.

[@comicbooknerdisme]

Revisiting this and the first story is chillingly similar to the situation I’m finding myself in… where OP is my dad, but no data hacking software, just, my mom not being protective of her stuff and my dad crying over the closeness she’s had to their personal trainer

[@JC-tf2jb]

He should contact a lawyer and direct all communication through them.

[@Drezha3]

Story one: it’s only crazy if there’s nothing there. But I will say OP needs to stop confronting his wife and start getting his ducks in a row

[@FlamesofJagger]

Waaafffllleee Gaaannnnggggg!!! I need something more positive than they firs video today. Hope this is what I need. Much love Mark.

[@markkay6646]

Why do these people always confront without hard evidence and lots of it. Just suck it up for as long as it takes and then steam roll them at the end. Story 2, that husband needs to change planet because that's a sign of things to come

[@michaelmurratti4687]

Last Story..OP! You need to call the Fashion police Quick!

[@devastus477]

Story 1 - The guy was Plan B from the start, he was blinded by her affections and got her pregnant. Now she is upgrading to a new Plan.

[@momshardrockvideos]

Story 2: yes you are definitely 100% the AH. It may be your day but you are totally in the wrong.

[@ronhall5395]

She should have specified, only ugly people wearing baggy body outfits can serve at my wedding. This is one of the dumbest bride dolls stories I have read. Army wedding, A female friend of my wife came. She dressed appropriate in a black strapless gown. Trouble is she was a 10+ on the scale. Her gown, while not tight by today's standards, seemed to cling in all the right places. She stood out. People did stare at her, even the ladies. I noticed she looked great, but was super busy being a groom. My younger brother asked me her name and did his best go hit on her with no success. About ten guys asked me who she was.I just told them her name was Lisa and she was a house mate of my now wife in college. Even a few married guys tried to dance with her. First thing my wife asked me after we got to our wedding night room was " did you see Lisa, she looked radiant didn't she?" I looked her in the eye and was about to say " I didnt even notice her". But I instead blurted out, " She looks goog in black, my brother was trying to get her to go home with him?" Which was the truth. My wife just laughed.Truth is she was a knockout, but not the brightest girl I ever met. I also think her parents lived close to the venue. She actually left early to go see her BF. He apparently refused to go since he did not know anyone. I think my wife told me she left after dinner to go clubbing with the BF.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: *Cough cough* Bridezilla!!! *Cough cough*

[@momshardrockvideos]

It never works out if you “do it for the kids”. They are smart little people and will feel they have to take sides and that’s just cruel. Just leave her.

[@nareegreel]

Red flag 1: going back to 2 separate exes during breaks. Red flag 2: having inappropriate convo with a man living in a fawking tent Red flag 3: cheating with her therapist. Op should divorce and move on from her. This is a pattern and I will give a years paycheck she has cheated on him before

[@jackspring7709]

They all went to Vegas together for a bachelorette but I know none of them would do anything because they're are not like that. Sure, OP - far way from town where no-one knows them and nothing will get back: sure none of them did anything.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

Exactly. "They're going to Vegas for a bachelorette party, but I'm sure they're all too uptight to do anything bad." Dude is weak and is willing to delude himself for the sake of being married out of his league.

[@jackspring7709]

@@LetholdusKaspyr Exactly. A lot of people are very naive about that stuff.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

If you need to attach a keylogger to your partner's devices, the relationship is already dead. Loving someone you can't trust is a big mistake.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 He should have gotten more proof. Story 2- I doubt the bride gave the catering company her dress code. What a nutcase.

[@Kai-uj5go]

The last one omg lol at my elopement party (like a wedding reception kinda deal) do you know how many servers or bartenders I remember? None. Not a single one! I remember my husband having a blast with his freinds, the DJ's awesome jokes and my guest all having a great time and enjoying myself with everyone I love and cherish in my life. What a crazy bride, she really just wanted or needed a reason to be upset that day. She does need to look into why she's so insecure and feels that calling the police on someone literally just doing their job is a correct option on dealing with her own negative feelings.

[@OfficialREVENGEMusic]

I knew she was cheating the moment she said that Op was crazy. You don't Gaslight someone who suspects you of cheating. If she wasn't cheating she would be perfectly willing to so she isn't, and take his concern seriously.

[@cyrilmarasigan7108]

Story1: Well bro you finally wake up from being a doormat like c'mon going back to exes when in breaks, being flirty when drunk and changing the password after coming to a bachelorette party sounds a red flag to me and also go get some help and also don't let your ex get some money after you when she is divorced, make sure she would be alone forgotten by her kids when she reached in her 50s

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

2: Okay but like, if I were working at a wedding, I'd dress up nicely because it's often a formal event. Wouldn't want to dress down right? Also the studs could have been cubic zirconia? Not that it matters, just felt like OP was picking on every little thing. What a weird friggin story.

[@bluexwings]

I just have to ask... Why would it matter what stone the earrings were? The way I understood it, OP was just upset that she wore ANYTHING.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

@@bluexwings Honestly you're probably right. My thinking was - how do you know they're diamond earrings? They could be any clear stone. But by saying diamond, it felt like she was using that as another point for exaggeration, since diamonds are expensive. It's another point of drama she can tell her friends - "Oh, she wore DIAMOND earrings! At my wedding where no one was allowed to wear EYELINER! GASP The horror!" It was just a weird comment to me. But yeah OP would have probably picked on the girl's jewelry regardless.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- sounds like she’s been cheating most of their relationship. He’s in denial. She thinks op is weak and the sobbing re-enforced that. She used op to get her financially stable. Now she’s ready to ride the carousel.

[@kbf9644]

“…if the server didn’t leave I’d call the cops” What in the cinnamon toast fork is wrong with some people?! 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

[@brendajustus9787]

There’s no trust in this marriage. It’s over. Even if she hasn’t done anything she will never trust you again when she finds out about the spyware. You killed any chance to reconcile.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Op is so dumb for not getting hard evidence …or getting back when she hooked up in breaks 😂

[@tifadreamers]

the moment she said she no longer needed the support of someone else, I knew she was already out of the marriage. she stayed because she did need his support. financially. and seems like he's been her fallback option from the start He might have found out about the PT but it's obvious that she had done more before. the concert and the trip? there's no way nothing happened then when she had already started gaslighting him then. this relationship is over. OP needs to step out before things get toxic and it'll be worse for the kids

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #1: Cheating wife says it's just the one time. One time is one time too many. She cannot UN-DO the dishonesty, the gas-lighting, or the cheating. It's done. The relationship is broken, all of her plans prior to confession, read in the light of her cheating is, "I want you to support me and "Our" kids I'm certain of this new relationship when i will dump you. If the new relationship doesn't gel, then you'll be a good place holder until the next one". Kick her out, and take any children. One good parent is better than a tense toxic relationship.

[@jettaspop]

Story 1: I've said it before and I'll say it again, if the only reason you're still together is "for the kids", just get a divorce. Your kids can tell. Divorce can be a traumatic process for some but if you're amicable, the divorce turning messy would be entirely your partner's fault. You shouldn't go easy on her because this is her first offense- establish strong boundaries and let her know under no circumstances is this to happen again. If you have any love left for her, counseling may be worth a shot. If she refuses to accept blame and tries to pin it on you, it isn't worth the trouble, but if you think you can talk things out then stick with it. It'll take time, a lot of time probably, but you can get there in the end.

[@debdoug4136]

No one can be PERTTIER THAN MEEEEE!!!!!

[@pannkeki8940]

Story 1 OP deserves it for being such a doormat. I don't feel bad for him.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: Op's wife gives me Mother Gothel vibes with all the gaslighting. lol

[@mistysgamingchannel9918]

Story 2. What a bridezilla. Disgraceful behaviour from the bride.

[@STB-jh7od]

Story 1: OP needs DNA test for kids. I hate doormat stories

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Story 2: Someone who works with the girl who got kicked out of the wedding commented on the post. The girl was actually 18 and was wearing nothing that wasn’t allowed. All of her coworkers are laughing about the whole thing. Also, there was this: “OP seemingly left out the fact that one of the fathers kept flirting with the staff, some guest got s word (sorry, KZbin keeps going after me for swear words in my comments) faced and tried to steal from the bar, OP’s wedding planner walked into the kitchen at one point and almost broke down crying, and the groom and groomsmen got way too high and left half smoked blunts all over the place.”

[@wellwouldntyouliketoknow4137]

Absolutely jealous of the server. Lol. Hubby probably has a wandering eye.

[@sylvanaire]

This reminds me of the time I was a travel agent back in the late 1980s. A client reserved her honeymoon with us to Antigua & after they had been there about 2 days, she called & blasted us for booking her to a place that had topless beaches. Seems her new husband was enjoying the view a little too much & she blamed us for it, demanding we move them to a different island w/no topless sunbathing like St Thomas. It would have been difficult to do mid vacation, but we would have helped her, except she expected us to pay for it all, lol.

[@WolfyFancyLads]

OP: "I'm worried you're cheating on me!" At the time wife: *becomes insanely defensive, insulting, and makes up obvious lies* Every time, I swear, how do people have secret affairs when they lie so fucking badly?

[@videofan1010]

I was really hoping there was an update to the second story 😂. She got flamed and I'm excited.

[@nexutus8073]

Story 1: The relationship is unsaveable This all is not a situation that "just happend as an accident". It was well planned out and the wife made several decision that lead her to cheating. You see it especially when she threatened him with divorce when he tried to dig deeper, after he confronted her with his gut feelings. Also her argument that she would be okay with just staying together for the appearance and do whatever they want otherwise was a dead giveway what was happening. OP needs to stop living in denail and see how it is: The wife he knew and loved is gone. She decided that her affair is way more important than her family. He has to cut her off and let her feel the consequences of her action.

[@groofromtheup5719]

Always trust your gut. I am only still walking the Earth because I have trusted my instincts multiple times.

[@Ashakat42]

Dude drove her away with his crazy.

[@KCCAT5]

Story one always listen to your gut instinct it's always right.

[@laurenc4138]

So the OP of the first story wants to use his “love” to keep a woman who basically told him she doesn’t love him or want to be with him anymore. Now that she’s feeling independent she realized she’s changed and doesn’t want a relationship, he’s not trying to save his marriage, he did shitty backhanded stuff too, he’s trying to force her to feel something it seems like she doesn’t anymore. Honestly, she’s an a-hole for cheating, there’s never a good reason for that, but he’s controlling and manipulative, including him bringing this up with his toddler son in their bed so she was once again trapped and unable to express how she actually felt. Op sounds really manipulative and controlling. Sounds like he’s always been this way from what he says, but she’s just recently realized it with her new sense of independence. They’re both gross and awful and toxic and SHOULD divorce

[@spacelady4935]

Story 1: Make her split the bills 50/50 and see how her attitude about being independent changes. She’s just making excuses in her head to justify her actions.