Brother-In-Law Is Insisting I Wear His Wifes Wedding Dress To My Wedding r/Relationships

[@rf159a]

Story 1: OP's future brother-in-law needs a checkup from the neck-up!!

[@alarmedregret]

He's batty! 😂

[@curtisalex456]

OP's fiancé should just move a few hours away (and not share his address). Problem solved!!!!!

[@hmspretender]

Lmao 🤣

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

BIL and his wife are a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 🙄 They're absolutely unhinged and so is MIL for enabling this toxic behavior.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

@@meggammacisaacrylie7869 AND Half the family for blaming OP instead of that pathetic psycho!

[@carolinaazevedo2088]

I am a twin and I would never wear my sister's dress. We are 2 different people. And the way to intertwine our celebrations is by being present at the day. Simple as that

[@Swnsasy]

Right?! I'm friends with twins since childhood. Yes, they are close, they wore the same outfits in our teens, because all of us were intertwined they had their birthdays together. As we all got older they separated, married, kids etc.. I worked with triplets and man, they were their own person big time! I giggle because it's so easy to tell them apart but I'm pretty sure they are tired of people mixing them. I mean like different hair cuts, color and still can't 🤭

[@AngelaVEdwards]

My step dad is an identical twin and his parents treated him and his brother like they were the same person which caused a lot of psychological issues for my stepdad later in life. His brother was the more “alpha” twin which made the whole thing damaging. Twins look alike but are two completely different people.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

I went to school with and have known multiple sets of twins in my life. Like at least 15 sets. Some identical some fraternal. My step dad is a twin.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

P.S. Once you get to know a set of twins they actually don’t look just alike to you anymore. One set of beautiful twins I went to school with I only mixed up one time in our entire lives and that’s because I was looking at the back of her head in the girls room. I haven’t seen either one in more than 30 years but we’re all friends on Facebook and even to this very day I can easily tell them apart in pictures.

[@marycrawford9428]

I’m not a twin, but the ‘something borrowed’ might be nice. Not a whole dress though!

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 1: why the hell is BIL’s wife enabling and encouraging this?! Her husband is obsessed and she’s actively making his behavior worse

[@toxicginger9936]

This was surprising me too. I can kinda see that she is doing what she thinks will make her husband happy and is under his dillusion that they share everything and doesn't realise the brothers perspective because she's heard her husbands for so long. But... Like how would she feel if the roles were reversed? How would she feel if OP had gotten married to the brother first and showed up demanding that she wear the same dress? I bet the twin would be ALL for it, but how would the wife feel if she was the second one to get married and was expected to not pick out her own dress for her wedding?

[@loiracitr]

I wonder! It's like this couple is in a very small cult

[@DesertStorm-ul2cm]

Thats just creepy in so many ways and it will only get worse if she keeps incuriging this behavior

[@voutsider190]

Shared delusion

[@carlrood4457]

Sounds like a twin who never really separated and established an individual identity for himself and being enabled by mother and wife.

[@Laura-it2zb]

Reminds me of a book I had read a very long time ago (I think there have been a couple of movies based on the book) ... it was a thriller/horror. This reddit story hits some of the creepier notes.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Obviously there’s something wierdly incestual and codependent going on from the brother's side and the mother's final comments confirms why the brother is the way he is. It’s also intriguing how BIL managed to find a wife that’s just as crazy as he is.

[@user-blob]

lol, IKR! I guess crazy attracts crazy.

[@Bijecarli]

Better that wife than someone kinder, more well adjusted person who can't see how toxic he is until it's too late lmfaooooo

[@carlrood4457]

Sounds like the brother never established an identity outside of being a twin, enabled by the mother. I'm more interested in his wife, however. Why is she enabling this? Is it a case of vicariously living through OP and getting the wedding she never got? Does she have some twin fetish ruined by OPs fiance establishing his own identity?

[@hi_stranger9156]

Well ,they are a match for each other.

[@13thMaiden]

​@@carlrood4457 Probably the vicariously through OP since she hasn't shown these weird tendencies until just now when wedding was involved. That or her crazy was in the background hiding under Nutso brother.

[@poetryqn]

I'm not even two minutes in, and the BIL's demand that OP wear his wife's wedding dress is X Files level weird.

[@SailorMya]

RIGHT! I just see the two of them sitting across from OP with unsettling smiles on and a dress bag! DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID OP!!! Seriously, I have heard of this before with twins where one bases their life around being a twin so they never create their own identity outside of what their twin likes. Still very creepy!

[@CaitlinKelly-mo1ld]

It got so much worse!!

[@RavenOfNirvana]

Listening to Story One waiting for the inevitable "twin brother wants to swap wives too so they can share that experience too"

[@marshawargo7238]

That was exactly what I was thinking😮!!! Like when dad's gf, in The Parent Trap, asked one twin if they share Everything? Twin said yah, & She Slapped Her! Then told her to give her twin her share of that! It might have been cute when they were little, but eventually you come into your own personality, likes & dislikes. No one is exactly the same, even twins! (Well I guess maybe some twins are but I bet ONE of them wishes for some distance😢)

[@SusanPederson]

That crossed my mind too...

[@littlegreycat]

The epitome of "dont set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm" especially when they already have their own fire.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Hell, at this point, they're dumping water on every fire you start, only to demand you start another one.

[@rebekah.2187]

But they ARE being intertwined. SIL got to choose HER OWN wedding dress and OP will get to choose HER OWN wedding dress just like SIL did. See? Exactly the same. 😊 Edit: I place the blame squarely on the mother as she seems to have spend their whole lives encouraging the one twin to copy the other instead of teaching him to be his own person. All because she "thought it was cute." I'm sure it stopped being "cute" once they were about 10. I'd like to know how much OP resembles SIL. Given the level of insanity here, I can imagine this brother and mother pushing the fiancé to marry someone who looks like SIL too.

[@Boundwithflame23]

BIL: “Your ability to make compromises in order for me and my brother’s wedding experiences to be intertwined is straining our relationship” Dude your brother is already sick of you doing that shit throughout your entire lives just stop. Edit after update: Keep the future FIL. He’s a good egg. Future mother in law not so much. And omg 7:48 the BIL is unhinged!!!

[@kaykay8855]

And MIL’s dismissive attitude towards it. She enables BIL’s behavior and pretty much gaslit op’s hubby to go along with it. The reason I think FIL was quick to side op and hubby is because he knows how delusional MIL and BIL is and stayed with MIL to make sure that at least hubby is his own person.

[@Bijecarli]

Meh, he's still married to a mentally unstable woman who will most likely go underground with her hatred.

[@carlrood4457]

Do people not know what compromise means?

[@devegas4910]

@@carlrood4457entitled people, abusive people, narcissistic people, and the worst of the worst don’t know what compromise means. Sane people do

[@WobblesandBean]

No. FIL chose to stay with that wretched woman, he's just as bad for it.

[@jackwatt8988]

2: if they have expensive cars and an expensive house, they don't need help. They can sell these things.

[@michellekeith5602]

Sure they do ... They need help keeping their money by spending his🤣🤣🤣. I can't even imagine what the future would look like because I think a family that would take so much from one about to start their life when they have more than viable options to remedy their own situation is a family I'd want to stay away from. With family like that who needs enemies?

[@7188lisae]

Twin has issues that need to be addressed. He views his twin and himself as one person.

[@smidgelette]

It’s almost like he thinks of himself as the ‘master’ twin as the fiancé didn’t get to even go to the crazy twins wedding, let alone being part of planning it. Nuts.

[@evanundefined430]

S1: Yet another example of someone thinking "compromise" means "one party unilaterally gets their way while the other must sacrifice."

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Thank you! That drives me crazy. Compromise doesn't mean giving in. People need to look this up.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: *"his mother said that she thinks it was just a drunken comment from him and that he's just hurt and confused"* The mother's final comments really confirms why the brother is the way he is.

[@myounakami]

If I was in OP's shoes, I would definitely be having a conversation with the fiancé about MIL's involvement around any future children. BIL wished death upon OP's future children (via miscarriage) and MIL is excusing the commentary; I wouldn't trust either of them not to do something to hurt those children out of spite if given the chance.

[@jusminejustice2794]

She's one of those twin parents I bet. the one who doesn't see and treat them as different people.

[@alejondromaestas4166]

As a identical twin myself. My brother is bestfriend in the whole world. And we would never be like what happens in story one. Literally the fuck

[@LordBison98]

Story 1: Begging you to take the twin to therapy. This is NOT a normal behaviour at all, and who knows how far it can go.

[@Azulakayes]

I have twin boys. It would break my heart if something like this happens to them.

[@Davtwan]

The fact that the mom is seeing OP as the scapegoat, because she does not want to realize that _her son_ is solely making the decision tells me that BIL is likely not going to go to therapy. The parents need to be a united front for this one. The mother sounds like she’s not willing to play ball with her husband, so he’ll need to bring his A-game to convince his son.

[@One.DeSanctis.]

These are some frightening twins. They want a quadruple. OP will be a sister wife of a different type.

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Yeah, people are not pawns you can dictate over how they live and what they do. They are individuals who are free to choose their own path. This isn’t a fairytale story. (Btw, I think FIL needs to put his foot down and put his wife on a tight leash. She’s clearly enabling this BS fantasy.)

[@jmarie9997]

Ick. Can we say, "Emotional incest"? Story 2; get OUT. NOW.

[@sovereigncrux]

Mark is such a gentleman, utilizing the word 'slur' as opposed to what had been written.

[@michelledalenaa]

I'm married to an identical twin. This is NOT normal.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

I have twin cousins and they have told me many times that people have asked the weird questions that are similar to that story. I can't believe others have asked questions and brought up situations l Iike that.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 Run! Do not pass go, do not collect $200, run directly from this man and family. If they were destitute that would be different. But, they live in a lap of luxury and won't downsize. He can support his family...As a single person. Sounds like OP is gonna stay. She's gonna regret it. Hopefully she's not financially ruined when they inevitably break up

[@Bijecarli]

No. She needs to keep every cent. Take that $200 AND THEN RUN lmfaooooo

[@kristelneedtoknow3207]

100% this can't believe she doesn't see this. It's a gift that this happened before they got married. She can leave now before this gets legally gets intertwined with her.

[@carlrood4457]

My suspicion is the house is the house is already mortgaged to the hilt and the cars are leases or on loans as well. They've probably been borrowing to maintain this lifestyle for years and have finally exhausted their credit. Not sure what the next plan is. It does not sound like 100K will keep them going long

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

The fact that they're the human version of pillow poodles who haven't worked a day in their lives makes it even worse. They have a lot to face up to and *they* need to be the ones handling it. I'm sorry if their pride is hurt, but it's their condition and no one else's. As others have pointed out, the SO is either going to take out loans or otherwise keep trying to placate them, and it's not going to work. He needs his Come to Financial Jesus moment sooner than later.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

OP needs to be honest with her partner and tell him that this situation is unsustainable for her. No compromise, no whinging, no waffling. Tell him he has to choose between helping his family or creating a family with her, but he will never, ever have both. Give him a week to decide and that's it.

[@Akemi.24-45]

While listening, 0:42 - _"... share everything with each other, from interests, hobbies, and even...",_ 'girlfriends?' I thought. 😅

[@carlrood4457]

Yeah, I'm wondering if that's why brother's wife seems on board with the crazy. Maybe she has a twin fetish. Maybe she just wants to vicariously get the wedding she didn't have.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: I don't understand people who would willfully encumber their children with maintaining and expensive lifestyle. And this is coming from an old man with three adult kids. Our job is to set up children so that they can succeed in life, not leech off of them to maintain a facade. I'm glad OP at least has the backbone to look at the situation and say "Nope! Not gonna happen".

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: *"I can't bring myself to say this to my partner because I don't want to seem unsupportive."* I'm sorry, but this is one of the stupidest things ever. How in the hell do you expect anything to actually change if you don't tell him? This is one of those cases where an ultimatum is needed.

[@lynnw7155]

Really! You should give up the lifestyle you want to support someone else's lavish lifestyle??? No way. And she can't even talk to him about it? That's not a good relationship.

[@colorlesscanvas1151]

He needs to put his foot down tell them to sell the luxury cars and downsize or if they’re house is big enough get a renter for part of the house.

[@tully6648]

I get that OP's partner has likely been highly conditioned by their family to cave to them ('cause faaamily!), but both OP and partner need to find their spines and give solid NOs. Partner is eating _ramen_ while their parents f-k around with their fancy cars and fancy house. Screw 'em.

[@ZombieMinion1992]

I think it’s stupid that she think she’s being unsupportive when she’s supporting her partner like a grade a bra that he’s grown out of and he is being supportive like a pair of underwear that has holes in it. She is trying to support a weight that she cannot handle and he’s not supporting anyone at all except his parents.

[@Draggonny]

Sometimes being supportive is telling people they're being taken advantage of and that they have every right to walk away to protect their own interests. My husband took a job working for a friend and accepted a low salary on the agreement that he'd a specific pay rise after a specific length of time. I was okay with this as a temporary favour for a friend starting a new, small business. Well the timescale came and went, there was always an excuse for why they just don't have the cash flow right now. My husband was working ridiculous amounts of unpaid overtime because they had so much work from so many clients, other staff were getting pay rises and they were taking on more staff. There was another staff member doing the same job as him, doing fewer hours and getting paid more money and they were a horrible aggressive person who destroyed staff morale. Every week I'd tell my husband "this guy is taking the effing mick. He's taking advantage of you.". After months of nagging my husband finally caved. Started looking for other jobs. Landed a job with an even higher salary than the one he should have had with plenty of perks. He's since had another pay rise that was backdated and the new employer is begging him to apply for promotion. Some people don't want to be the "bad guy" by saying no because they feel like they're letting others down. They're letting themselves down by being a doormat. Support them in standing up for themselves instead of by cheering them on in their martyrdom. Give them permission to tell manipulators where they can shove it. My husband has since returned the favour by talking me out of my awful old job that was making me ill and I found one I absolutely love.

[@7188lisae]

Story 2 Dude has to decide if this is the life he wants, for the rest of his life. He needs to recognize the difference between his family's needs and their wants. He also needs to decide to prioritize his own house first. I would not advise staying with him if he makes a decision that puts both your futures at risk.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Honestly, yes. Family wants to keep living in a million-some dollar mansion, eat filet mignon every night and maintain multiple fancy cars, meanwhile their own son has to cut back on groceries? What will happen when mom, dad or sis needs surgery or something? What if sis wants to get married? Will they expect their son to finance all this, too?

[@rachaelclark8465]

Story 2, Sweetheart, you need to exit stage left. This will NOT get better. Furthermore, if there not willing to help themselves, you are under ZERO obligation to.

[@kp2223]

💯

[@wildblue0]

Exactly. Tell fiance he's welcome to help them from _their house_.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story two: OP has a partner problem. It sounds like the guy is being financially abused by his parents. And he seems to be conditioned to cater to these two. Either he gets to the bottom on why he wants to please his parents so much and act to get turn his life around. Or he risks facing homelessness, not being able to be financially independent, and losing OP. That, and just sticking to ramen. It's just a miserable life.

[@katwitanruna]

WTAF?!?! There are a lot of twins in my family but no one has ever expected them to be the same person. Indeed, it is healthier for multiples to be their own person.

[@katwitanruna]

Does anyone else have the feeling her fiancé‘s brother wants her and wants them to have the „same“ experience so he can use their wedding pictures to pretend to be with her as opposed to his own wife.

[@marshawargo7238]

Aside from thinking that he wants to share wives, I wondered if he's thinking about "While we're here & our family is here, let me stand next to you & my wife can walk down the isle with OP & we can get married again at the same time and event! (Probably why he First asked them to change the date to when they got married!!!

[@katwitanruna]

@@marshawargo7238 eh, the fact he wanted her to wear his wife’s wedding dress kinda negates that IMHO

[@metalliclav9289]

My first thought was that BIL wants to rail OP.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 1: NTA If you can't uninvite them, assign them handlers for the ceremony and reception. And password protect everything about the wedding and honeymoon. Probably a good idea to have a word with any DJs, photographers, and videographers about who is allowed to make requests on the day of.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story one I’m pretty sure that SIL is weird. No person wants another woman to wear their wedding dress unless it is passed down to kids and grandkids. It sort of makes it sound like she wanted to marry both twins but she couldn’t and this is the best way she could make it happen.

[@ianh2950]

Yeah, it sounds like she has some sort of fetish

[@ettinakitten5047]

Yeah, I think she's got a twin fetish.

[@Tammohawk1]

My oldest daughter-in-law is a twin, and this is not normal twin behavior. Sure, twins can be very close but not to the extent that one demands the other have the same experiences as they do.

[@arithefierysecretary6411]

Story 1: Dude, I have twins, but it's boy/girl non-identical. This is the kind of relationship I dread them having! One so dependant on the other that their identities are lost in "being twins". Just because they came out at the same time doesn't mean they're the same people, and should be treated as such! The only time matching stuff is cute is for goofy kitschy family photos, yeesh.

[@ErdriedDeirdre]

I worry I'm listening to too many of these stories. I was feeling a little sad that I was single, then i listened to a bunch of these in a row now I'm like, Naw I'm good with being solo. Don't have to deal with in laws, don't have to make an escape plan. I'm good. I'm gonna go drink some sprite!

[@rizannesmith2284]

Story 1, the brother eloped? I get the feeling if they managed to get OP to wear the same wedding dress, it would be easy for the SIL to make sure she has a similar one, that way they can treat OP's wedding like both couples got married at the same time... They could even have told some that OP and her fiance has already agreed to this, and now claiming they are refusing to do this It's the only reason I can figure that they think acting this way would be ok, they eloped and this way still get a nice wedding while at the same time be able to say it was a twin wedding, making it extra special. And they don't have to foot the bill for it either. Had they managed to get OP and her fiance to have it the same date as well... Extra, extra special

[@happybkwrm]

Honestly, if I were OP1, I would be AFRAID of the brother.

[@EnDB]

With the second story, it's not about them just living, it is about keeping them living in luxury. That's excessive and I wouldn't contribute a dime to it.

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us ❤

[@lostshadows768]

Story 2: Sit down with your partner and ask them to write out a budget for them and their family. It might not have really struck home how unsustainable this situation likely is and seeing it laid out might be the only hope of saving your relationship.

[@annamcnarin]

1st story reminds me of a story I came across years ago abt a pair of identical twin sisters who became *obsessed* with being as "same" as possible. It got dark for them: eating disorders, depression, anxiety ect. It got so bad that tho they got help, they physically & mentally cannot be as close as even normal sisters because it will trigger them both. They even had to live in different cities to curb the impulse to be one person. I'm so glad at least one of this set has his head on straight. It sounds too like the mom played into it. I hope they get the help they need.

[@someonebored0100]

Twins are separate individuals and their own people. They are not the same, they are not interchangeable. Thinking this is abnormal and abusive. Clearly, OP’s MIL is responsible for this entire mess.

[@selinalee1077]

I actually read the first story on Reddit and got creeped out. There is a difference between wanting to be close to your sibling, twin or not, and share common interests to being straight up obsessive over them. Yeah I get the whole twins thing but geez. Just because you have a copy and paste of yourself doesn’t mean they have to be like you. Like be your own person. Reminds me of another story I read on Reddit where Op had a younger sister who wouldn’t stop copying her. Op was in her 20’s, sister was 16. Op once found a pink and brown wig, posted it on her instagram and her sister saw it then asked Op if she actually got her hair done like that. Op lied and said yes. (Don’t blame her for lying) when op went to visit her family the sister ACTUALLY had her hair done the same way as the wig and when she saw that op was still the same color and still pretty long, she threw a fit. Like literally this kid said she did her hair like that because she thought op had it then demanded for op to change her hair. People like this are so weird to me

[@kp2223]

I remember that story

[@Ace_AloneWolf]

Story 2: Shades of Persuasion by Jane Austin

[@ec4145]

Story 1: I think we can see a probable reason why the brother is so deranged. His mother raised him praising the twin stuff--it probably started as a way to get love from his mother, and became his personality as a result. Not excusing his behavior, just noticing possible origins. He needs therapy.

[@kateworkman921]

Story 2 - After I heard about them being pressured with taking out the $100K loan, I'd sit down with my fiance and say, "You're not actually considering it, are you?" If the answer was anything other than a quick, resounding, "NO!" I'd look at them and say, "Have fun being single, then." I've dealt with money troubles thanks to two different exes of mine, one because of his parents' stupidity, as well as their favoritism towards my ex's siblings. Never again. Doesn't matter how much I love them, I value myself and my sense of financial stability more.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

Story 1. Anyone think family enmeshment along with the mother encouraging her sons not to have separate identities their entire lives is involved here? Like she wanted a cute little matching pair of children and couldn't comprehend that they may want something different. Anything that does want encourage their own lives a family wrecker and to blame for all problems no matter what actions the other family took.

[@OmneyasWISH]

2nd story sounds like the one from yesterday. The family wanted the daughter-in-law to take out a mortgage for them

[@corrinbielawski8035]

Best voice to fall asleep to, thanks, Mark!

[@MarkNarrations]

[@lyregal5]

Story 1 - Twins run in my family and I’ve only ever see them try as hard as possible not to be treated as a pair and always want to be treated as individuals. They even hated being referred to as “the twins” all the time. I feel like the mother actually was pushing for all the matching and found an eager participant in one of her sons.

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

Hi Mark and Poppy! Story 1: the BIL is unhinged, along with wife and MIL. I'd be keeping myself away from that level of delulu. Story 2: helping out family is one thing, as we all go through hard times. My family chipped in during my cousin's cancer treatment, for example, along with helping each other out when times are tough. But this family aren't trying to get out of their financial situation by downsizing and changing their lifestyle, but expecting OP's SO to bail them out and enable them to keep living their high-end lifestyle. That's not going to turn out well for SO or OP, if she marries him. OP needs to nope out of the situation if her SO plans to keep enabling his family, as if they get married, she will be expected to use her money to enable stupid behavior.

[@KarinWaffle]

Uploaded just on time... In need for another one of Mark's videos 🥰

[@Whooachannel]

I don't understand why everyone is blaming OP for the brother being unhinged. Her fiance has a history of stating for YEARS that his brothers behavior has made him uncomfortable, the brother is the one trying to push his way into the wedding and making unreasonable demands, his brother is the one lashing out and acting entitled to the fiances life. It's the brother causing problems at every turn and yet for some reason everyone is blaming OP why? Just because she wanted to choose her own wedding dress? Like in what world is that unreasonable?

[@ettinakitten5047]

Because denial and wanting to keep the family together at all cost.

[@jinx21182]

10 bucks says the twin brother got this mentality from his mother. At best, she's an enabler and at worst, she's the architect.

[@ettinakitten5047]

I think she treated them like a "matched set" their whole childhood, and is having trouble with the idea that they grew up to be different people despite that.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.

[@JoshuaEdward12]

I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?

[@JoshuaEdward12]

Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.

[@rickraber1249]

SHE has the ability to reunite couples??? Maybe if both parties want to be reunited. Don't give this poor guy false hope.@josephregland

[@rickraber1249]

Joshua - please be realistic. This counsellor can't work miracles. Your ex has to be willing to work at reuniting as much as you. Be prepared to move forward with your life no matter what transpires here. I too was dumped - hard - after a 12 year relationship. I discovered that I could be loved by someone else who'd never do that to me in a million years. Keep your chin up. You're in my prayers. @@JoshuaEdward12

[@AndyyWithAY]

I said I would close my eyes for a few minutes then woke up 45 minutes later and was "late" for work. Although thankfully my time is flexible. Is this the second coming of Monday??

[@TiBunCosplay]

Only 2 min in and if I were OP I'd get like a decoy dress from a thrift store or something because I can imagine them doing something to her dress and pull the "Oh well I just so happen to have [BIL's wife's name]'s wedding dress in the car! You can just wear that!" in order to get their way.

[@o0BlackSand0o]

Story 1: the thing that really bugs me is BIL isn't trying to do everything like his twin. His trying to control his twin. BIL CHOSE his date, to elope, and SIL chose her dress. Now 'to be close' they are trying to force all of that on OP and her fiance. It's not doing things the same, it's taking away autonomy of his brother and in extension OP. If they were to truly do stuff the same, they would be either subconsciously make the same choices, or have the same taste and take each other's opinions into account

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2, Mark: "I think that partner needs some kind of..." Me: "kick in the pants?" Mark: "...therapy." Me: "Oh yeah that too."

[@megnotmegan1966]

Good morning beautiful Waffledom peeps! That’s a hell no for me for story 1. Why do people get so weird about weddings? SMH

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗🧇🧇💜💜

[@serenesavage8072]

Last story: Dude is setting himself on fire to keep his parents warm, all while they refuse to put on a sweater. He needs therapy asap to learn to say no.

[@autumn557]

Op: does nearly nothing Family: it’s all her fault!!!

[@Bijecarli]

I know it's easy for me to ask, but why would OP want to marry into this mess? She's going to marry into a family that hates her, with only two other people on her side, one of whom is barely supportive because he (father) is still married to mother in law. No wedding should be this stressful. There's flower girl not showing up to walk stress, and then there's this gaggle of weirdos.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

That's what I was thinking. Unless her fiancé is willing to go completely no contact and move across the country to start over, she's better off cutting her losses.

[@BritInvLvr]

Story two. Reminds me of a couple of my friends. One wants to retire but his wife keeps spending their money on other family members. She is super generous to the point it makes everyone but the leeches uncomfortable.

[@shebakoby]

story 1: Tell me OP's BiL is the "evil" twin, without telling me BiL is the "evil" twin.

[@madambutterfly1997]

For me personally a bruised ego is a very short-term issue that I can deal with

[@shylavender]

I’m just so confused and disgusted that OP is being blamed by her fiancé’s psycho mom and some more of his family for this… What the hell? She did absolutely nothing wrong. I have twins myself and I could never envision any of them becoming THIS level of unhinged… We always encourage them to be individuals, because they literally are two different people! BIL desperately needs professional help, ditto his equally crazy wife and mother.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Compromises?? OP doesn't need to compromise on anything for HER wedding with someone she's not marrying. What a bizarre idea.

[@tishaw.8254]

Imagine the brother has a bun in the oven and tries to poke holes in his own brothers contraceptives….

[@gcarr1089]

Story 2- i was wondering if OP is being tested to see if she would help or run if the family were in trouble. Would be worth looking into the families finances to confirm. If it is a test then she has a bigger in problem to deal with. A bf who thinks she's there for the money.

[@crem-crem4070]

16:56 this is a good time to remind everyone that being nice isn’t the same as being good.

[@DaishaView]

I have an identical twin sister. I would never do anything like this lol.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Story 1 has the makings of a great horror film.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: I normally advise against getting married to someone who’s family hates you but the fact that OP’s fiancé can draw clear boundaries with his family especially when it comes to how they treat OP is a green flag.

[@merrick1588]

As a twin, BiL needs a serious psych eval. At no point does any of this make sense.

[@TsukiKageTora]

This I really hope that eventually the brother calms down and gets help. Like even listening in on stories about twins resenting each other because of similar situations and find it in himself and change for the sake of potentially getting his twin to be in his life. However, as of now his twin is doing all to make sure to keep him so far away Like it’s OK if you want to be nearly identical to your twin, but if their twin doesn’t want it, then they should respect it instead of trying to enforce what they want onto them. I really do hope he gets help. I mean, he gets so angry that his twin brothers wife, and his brother doesn’t want to be similar to him and his wife to the point where he is wishing that his brother’s future children would be miscarried or stillborn. He wished that pain onto his twin brother because he wants to be his own person. He needs psychiatric help and his mom is enabling it by not taking her son’s concern to heart. It was a warning and now we got you this.

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 1: I'm not a mental health professional and already I'm hearing really loud alarm bells and I'm only 3 minutes in.

[@KanaidBlack]

Story 1. I think the brother it's doing this so Op's and her fiancee's wedding gets cancelled so they'll have to elope too

[@n.g.l.]

The worst thing to experience is a disturbed relative who is obsessed with you.

[@justMe-po9uo]

lol I lived through this. DH (dear husband) has an identical twin brother 10min younger than him. DH is very sweet but he and his brother shared a personality and co-dependent relationship. DH was follower and the clean up/project completer. DH was already gently claiming his independence with longer hair when we met. MIL was always asking him to cut it to be more like his brother. When brother got married, he tried to blackmail him by saying he couldn't be in the wedding party unless he cut his hair. Over time DH learned to make friends and start projects on his own, his brother still has issues with finishing projects. Last night friends came over with pizza and while playing cards, he said a specific date was the luckiest in his life. Not remembering I asked why? He said it was the day we met. We've been married over 50 years.

[@yoshidababies4222]

Story 1: That escalated fast! The message about the miscarriage is just absolutely despicable!

[@VidGirl88]

Story one: brother in law has made being a twin his whole personality and has gotten his wife in on it. Ew.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

This is why you treat all your children as individuals, especially if multiples. My husband has, identical, twin sisters. Most of his family never even learned who was who, they just refer to them as "the twins". They are individuals, with individual personalities. they are not a "two for one" deal. This is just some crazy ass level shit going on with OP, and his brother. His mother is, obviously, complicit in it. "isn't it adorable that they dress alike, and do everything together?". No, it is not. They are not the same person, they are different people. Sounds like OP's brother drank the koolaid and cannot deal with the fact his brother wants to be his own person. Not only does OP's brother need some serious mental health help, his mother does too. Oh, and wtf is wrong with the brother's wife that she thinks this behavior is ok? She is delusional, too. I want an update on how the wedding went and if OP's mother, finally, accepts her responsibility for this mess. .

[@miminana-hd6nf]

oh, OP is the fiancee, just insert "in law" where appropriate, haha.

[@jillimi]

For some reason the second story reminded me of the Mexican soap operas from the 80s. 🤭

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I know twins are usually close, but it sounds like OP's brother has trouble distinguishing between himself and his brother, as though they MUST be exactly alike or else the brother feels like something in his life is wrong.

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

I had twin cousins similar to this, where one would try to hold the other back from outshining her under the guise of wanting to have everything the same. It was sad to watch. Val did eventually break free from the crap Vicky would pull and moved to the other side of the country.

[@carachoplin6952]

My fiancé is a twin and we are getting married in 2 months. His brother had a courthouse wedding. LUCKILY, they are very different people with healthy boundaries and his wife is an absolute gem of a human. Very grateful for this.

[@cynthiaholland13]

My husband's twin had a hard time when we were planning our wedding. They somehow ended up in a physical fight about it!!

[@RyomouShimei]

Story 1 BIL gives me similar unhinged vibes to the peegate saga BIL

[@carolsh1983]

Hello all! I hope things are good for you all today!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I wish the same to you as well m8💜💜🧇🧇🤗🤗

[@carolsh1983]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Thanks!! 🤗🤗

[@gxr7777]

S2: RUN! If you live within your means and someone else doesn't "IT WILL NEVER CHANGE"!!!

[@cutespheal3442]

man i can rly relate to story 2. i wouldnt call my partners fam financially dependent on them but they do rly on them an annoyingly large amnt. and i feel as if theyre hindering our progress in life

[@cheskydivision]

I think MIL is encouraging BIL because she likes the twin thing.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

S2: fiancee is propping up family as a means of getting all the possessions down the road. He doesn't see the wisdom of selling extra vehicles bc he wants them.

[@carlrood4457]

If they're not willing to sell assets and downsize, OP can't tie herself financially to this family.

[@jeaniebee3657]

story 2 OP needs to run i think they may have been the true target for the money

[@SergioBicerra]

looks like bro wanted to make a Twin Bro's reality show. I've seen a couple of minutes of those twin sisters shows and find it disgusting and attention seeking x100.

[@BraveryWing26]

I love how first OP and husband just said enough is enough and just went scorched earth,. The in laws probably never liked her anyway so no biggie.

[@francinetitherington4060]

I have identical twin friends and, even in their 50's, they have a Twin language. They still use it with each other and admit while it started as toddlers, it has developed and expanded into a fairly complete language. I find it fascinating to hear a onesided conversation on the phone.

[@carlrood4457]

The taxes on a mansion, alone will probably break OPs fiancé's budget. Some states have property tax on the car value as well. Edit: I'll bet the house is mortgaged to the hilt and they have next to no equity. Selling it would net them nothing. .

[@kp2223]

I thought this too

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: I'd really like to know how it got into BILs head that he and his brother have to have to same experiences in this way. That doesn't come from nowhere.

[@ettinakitten5047]

It came from his mom, I believe.

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: My twins(boys) are turning 10 this year. I seriously hope one doesn't turn out like the BIL. They are still at the matchy-matchy stage but they now have a different set of friends which started last year. I hope I would be able to parent them properly in the future so they don't become co-dependent but I really would hate for them to have fractured relationship like this one, it would break me. Any advice would be welcome.