r/AITA Girlfriend Booked Same Weekend As Boyfriend To Get Away UPDATE (r/AmITheA**hole)

[@missymeakin6945]

Sounds like BF isn't really going to see his daughter. NTA

[@iris5678]

My thoughts is BF is cheating, or is a shitty father, or both

[@jay_vee96]

I thought the same, glad she dropped him and I hope she finds someone better

[@carolroberts4614]

He's leading a double life!

[@aindrilaroy4464]

My thoughts exactly

[@moimeself1088]

Exactly what I thought. Either way, he's a terrible partner

[@Russman67]

He's gaslighting OP and is playing games with this schedule. He's making up plans on the spot so he doesn't have to be responsible. Not the asshole.

[@lorifiedler13]

Hit on the calendar, he never told you.

[@WolfgangDoW]

That tipex closed the case, zero respect

[@jakemarie828]

That whole story was infuriating. I'm really glad OP got out of that situation.

[@louisejohnson6057]

He sounds like the sort of person who would refer to spending time alone with his own child as babysitting. He'd bitch to his friends something like, "I can't play poker tomorrow night because she's making me babysit the kid." I'm so glad OP got out when she did.

[@lina9535]

I'm gonma say this. If it's not on the calendar, then it ain't happening.

[@MarkNarrations]

My nephew literally just told me "butts have souls" and I'm not sure how I feel about that...

[@UndeadSteampunk]

Well is he wrong?

[@katiesmith2031]

🤣🤣🤣 that's kids for you

[@allenwalkeranime7968]

Well... That's a new one. I was once called a "half teacher" by a middle schooler.

[@Dri3xA]

That's a precious response 🤣

[@cookiesmcsalsa1281]

That sounds like an r/rareinsult, being called a “half teacher”

[@traetrae11]

The witch house actually sounds pretty nice the way she described it. Dark leaf plum tree huh..bet it’s really pretty.

[@Nyanx4]

Plum trees are gorgeous. If you ever want a pretty tree for your yard and you've got the climate for it, plum trees are a great choice. Not everyone likes fruiting trees though.

[@traetrae11]

@@Nyanx4 I looked at a picture of the dark leaf plum trees and not gonna lie I love the purple color of the leaves and I love plums. Purple is my favorite color so this is a go for me.

[@madcatlady]

my dark leaf plum suddenly died 😥

[@WraythSkitzofrenik]

I want a witch house.

[@shithead1029384756]

@@Nyanx4 great trees. Just can get a slight bit annoying with critters sometimes. But relatively easy to care for in the right climate if i remember correctly

[@wintermute9459]

Last story: NTA, she's a receptionist not a therapist or spiritual advisor. She made it sound like OP's only value in life was as a womb to make somebody happy. "How will she find someone to care for her" is condescending AF. I'd ask the pcp for a referall to a more professional office.

[@teresadurham8828]

Not only that, her male best friend who overheard and called her rude sounds like the kind of guy who would put a hole in a condom on purpose to babytrap a woman. Disgusting. Throw that whole thing out of her life!

[@shithead1029384756]

Ain't there usually a consultation first? I really don't know.

[@lorifiedler13]

As for someone to care for her in her old age, well without children, she can hire the best or constantly take cruises.

[@mothertrucker936]

S5: NTA that nurse deserved a lot more scolding than what you did. This is a hill to die on. How dare she give you her unsolicited opinion. I would actually complain to her employer. Your body, your choice of which I’m positive you’ve put a lot of thought in. Maybe tell the doctor you’re thinking of having the procedure done elsewhere due to the judgements received.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

It's not as simple as finding another provider if you find a doctor willing to do it you take them because it's extremely hard to find one.

[@lorifiedler13]

There needs to be a state by state registry of doctors that will perform female sterilization.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 2: my husband works long days and sometimes over night at a very dangerous job. He still makes a point of getting up for our kids at night and playing with them for dedicated time every day (except for the rare time he ends up working an emergency for 24+ hours straight). The OP's husband is a major a-hole.

[@AngelaNortonTyler]

Honestly, I am tired of these stories about people just being mistreated over and over again by their spouses.

[@LadyJoolree]

That last story just had me shouting 'Oh FUCK OFF!' at everything the nurse said! OP was properly bingoed all over place! I do hope she gets her procedure in a timely manner.

[@angelbechtol7873]

Me: **listening to the witch house story while Painting a Dinosaur on my wall** YOU GO WITCH HOUSE DO WHAT YOU WANT

[@angelbechtol7873]

Yes, I am infact an 18 year old with Dino walls but they are awesome dino walls and if your buying a house might as well decorate it how you want :p

[@dillongage]

​@@angelbechtol7873 😮 what kind of dino? And inside or outside? What style? Like cartoony or photorealism.

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. "It was a solid relationship" You mean until he purposely locked you down with a baby. Just because you have been together for eight years and married for five years it doesn't mean that he had shown you his true face. Now you see his true face. The one that he had hidden until it was time for you to depend on him financially and emotionally. He doesn't want you to do better because where will that leave him......

[@catandrobbyflores]

For the last story nta. I've been wanting to have this procedure done but constantly being told no because of my age and the ever popular "you might change your mind" plus a personal favorite "well your husband might want kids". My answers are always "if I change my mind I'll adopt" and "husband plans on getting the snip, next excuse"

[@draughtoflethe]

When they say "But your husband might want kids," I feel like the best answer to that is, "Then he can birth them."

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@draughtoflethe that was my response to him early in our relationship when it came up in conversation. He has respected my decision ever since.

[@draughtoflethe]

@@catandrobbyflores Awesome! :)

[@cheekyftoro8962]

Look in to your family medical history if you can find any hereditary diseases it's often the best way to convince doctors. Don't go in their saying I am child free don't want kids. Say I don't want to pass on my what ever you can find. If you have had lots of cancer or mental illness in the family these will also work. Then tell them you are child free but even if you change your mind you want to adopt rather than risk passing it on. As a child free woman that's almost 40 I warn you to take out all the bs trying to push you into having a kid but look at the reasons the give closely. Because I started out as a teen with lots of friends that were child free and now I am the only one that is. And for exactly the reasons people use. Finding a partner that wants kids, growing up and changing your mind, wanting a family for when your older. Actually being afraid of pregnancy and birth rather than not wanting a child. I never changed my mind but many did so be sure and do what is right for you. Good luck

[@dillongage]

Y'all know men get the same treatment when we want a vasectomy right? Just pointing that out. Doctors are legally allowed to say no to basically any procedure, and I find that strange. I've beem trying to get the snip for 3 years now and been told no by every doctor. Ive already frozen sperm and everything just incase I do change my mind, but its still "youre too young"

[@15oClock]

1. Everything he did was done willfully. It doesn’t matter if he says he changed; it's too late. 2. He doesn't even act like a husband *or* father! If all he's worth is money, he'll pay child support. 3. It's ridiculous to demand someone else's house look how you want it. It's OP's house, not one else’s. 4. You don't always need to help, but you should never hurt. This is the worst hurt OP could do. 5. Objectively, it wasn't any of their damn business! This is all too common and I wish it wasn't.

[@bwill887]

Regarding 1, I agree with everything and I doubt he changed. If OP took him back, they would be in the same situation within 6 months. Even his solution, giving her a free weekend when there is nothing to do isn't a fix, it's a further dig at her by purposely destroying her plans and time with her friends. I almost have to wonder if he was trying to isolate her by preventing her from ever planning anything with her friends. I hate to say it, but this was the push needed to get out of the quagmire OP found herself in.

[@Sunnysunshine626]

Story 2. Sounds like that’s all he wants to do. From what OPs written, it sounds like the husband doesn’t even want to be a father or in that marriage.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Story 1 he's doing it all on purpose.

[@songohan3321]

And now the stupid prizes from the stupid games that he played have presented themselves. He made his bike trail, so now he must traverse it.

[@megaman37456]

@@songohan3321 Ex2 should contact Ex1 and both file for child support from him.

[@stephaniewilson3955]

Last story: I would be reporting that nurse for her unprofessional behaviour. As soon as you ask for their name they back off as they know what is coming.

[@paden1865able]

Making a special doll for a newborn, her father is a dear friend and this is his first child.

[@Jess-sb2nj]

Adorable, hope doll turns out well :)

[@BersealiaDreamheart]

Story #5 - NTA, what a patient does with their body is none of the nurse’s damn business. She needs to shut up, do her real job, and keep her opinions to herself.

[@areyoufauxreal26]

Story 1: the bf (ex) was totally lying to her and gaslighting her over and over again. Not an overreaction at all to break things off.

[@CryogenicFire]

That last story reminds me of my life. I'm 51, child-free by choice, and had always known that I never wanted children. I tried and tried from my early twenties to get a GP (I'm in the UK) to refer me for sterilisation to no avail. I heard all that shite that nurse spouted from multiple medical practitioners to the point I just gave up. Thankfully through diligent practising of birth control on the part of myself and any partner I stayed child-free. If you want your tubes tied, be you male of female then that's your damn choice, and that choice needs to be respected by medical professionals. That nurse got off damn easy with a rather take response to her unwanted commentary!

[@marinam3809]

Story 5: NTA. Its absolutely none of her business to try to “council” OP, especially over the phone. Overall it’s just unprofessional and unethical to do this, that nurse should be reported.

[@Sirxeko]

In many countries, such counciling is actually mandated.

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

That nurse was way out of line and should be reprimanded. I know someone who got her tubes tied when she had her c-section even though she was in her 20's. It was her 3rd accident and she kept popping out twins. That nurse has no idea what OP's reasoning for wanting her tubes tied and it is not her concern. That discussion should be between the patient and doctor or other professional if appropriate.

[@owl7072]

Story 5: "You had no reason to be rude, she was just trying to help you think of this objectively" as a child free person who constantly has their own mom say "Are you sure?" and "When you have kids/grandkids-" even after several points of me saying I don't want them, there comes a point where you get absolutely sick of people just "trying to help" by being condescending and borderline lecturing you about how you'll regret your choice. Like OP said, if she wanted her opinion, she would have asked for it. I'm pretty sure that anyone who is making an appointment to get their tubes tied is already absolutely certain they don't want kids, at least not biologically. Also the whole "Meet a man and give him a baby" part really rubbed me the wrong way and kind of weirded me out, maybe it was the wording idk but it seriously bothered me.

[@SilverMaychan]

Omg yes. And lately people being happy to say: you are going to die alone. Excuse me?!

[@WolfgangDoW]

@@SilverMaychan cos apparently friends don't exist

[@crowdemon_archives]

@@WolfgangDoW I would sooner feed my body to cats ngl

[@Cassandra765]

Story 1: NTA. OP's boyfriend isn't doing this accidentally. He's deliberately trying to saddle OP with the responsibility of their child while he goes out and does what he wants. Sounds like it's time to toss out the entire relationship. This guy clearly has no respect for OP. Edit: Why am I not surprised that bf snuck out like he did? I'm so glad OP finally put a stop to this. Story 2: NTA. I genuinely don't understand why people like OP's husband have kids or get married if they have no intention of being an available partner/parent. Story 3: NTA. It's ridiculous to tell someone how to paint their own house. Story 4: YTA. There's honest and then there's cruel. All OP's done is validate his insecurities and body image issues. Story 5: NTA. OP wasn't rude. The nurse. She had no right pushing her "help" onto OP. OP is an adult and fully capable of making decisions regarding her body. Friend also sounds like an AH and needs to mind his own business.

[@civivva4501]

I am here for Mark to say 'pound sand' and 'Flying monkeys'. And the random swearing. LOL

[@bunnyslippers191]

It's not random swearing. It's very appropriate swearing, at least I think it is. BTW, I'm 69 years old and I swear a *lot* more than Mark does. F bombs flying like the monkeys up in here, especially when I'm trying to do some of those quests on my MMORPG.

[@civivva4501]

@@bunnyslippers191 I still don't know how he gets away with it and is monotized. Other reddit channels bleep lots of things out.

[@johnnagustafson9996]

Story 1.... NTA In my family, if it isn't on the calendar... it is not happening. But to change the calendar?! What an A$$#@!&.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

A couple in my neighborhood painted their house a very vivid blue color. I don’t even remember what color it was before. A neighbor mailed (yes, real mail) them an anonymous letter asking them why they did that to all the neighbors and said it was ruining property values. The couple posted the letter and their response on a sign in the front yard and explained that they thought it was beautiful and the color reminded them of the Frida Kahlo museum color. For years they have made the front yard magical with beautiful flowers and plant arrangement, non-tacky statues and art pieces, even a large bush cut into a heart. It absolutely looks magical and like a piece of art. They manage to make it look beautiful on holidays without making it look tacky, and I could just stand and stare at their yard of it wouldn’t make me look like a creeper. I left them an anonymous note myself, telling them I love it. They are great neighbors and obviously care for their property, so why should anyone bother them about their house color? I’m actually hoping that some of the other neighbors will also paint their homes brighter colors (the houses are mostly really pale, including our own). Why not? No HOA, btw, just a cute neighborhood.

[@taviabaldwin265]

Story 5: OBGYN It is typically spelled out with the letters not pronounced. When it comes to the subject of female sterilization or our reproductive health in any manner, at least here in the US, everybody feels they have more of a right to a say on what we do with our body parts than we do. It is a highly contentious issue where we're denied access to & criminalized if we get an abortion, regardless of necessity but we're also infantilized regarding our decisions whether we want to have children or not because we just don't know what we want. And this problem is, in my opinion, 100% male created. It blows the minds of people who will never get pregnant or give birth that there are women out here who don't want children, don't want multiple children and even that there are millions of women who should never get pregnant much less have children. I'm in my 40s, a single mom, and I'm still being told I might change my mind about having children when I go in to get my tubes tied. I have a family history of ovarian, uterine and cervical cancer... But because I only have one child, the only one I ever wanted, I am denied a basic medical service simply because some hypothetical guy that doesn't exist might want me to bear his children, which will never happen. By being denied the ability to remove my uterus or even just get a tubal ligation, I feel I am being denied a potential relationship simply because I cannot risk more children at my age. But, our lawmakers don't care. They just want to force babies to come through us.

[@25Erix]

While all that is true, another reason that gets glossed over is that women getting sterilized undergo premature menopause as a result and need expensive hormone therapy. I would like to have those organs removed but at the same time, I'd rather not face menopause about 20 years early. That health risk should be discussed at length and that's it.

[@WolfgangDoW]

In the UK we say Ob&gyne Only America says it as letters lol

[@dillongage]

Oh quit lying. Until a year ago, abortion was univerally allowed. Even now, only 14 states ban abortion, but ONLY if its not medically neccessary. Even in most of those 14 states, you can STILL get an abortion for cases of r@pe, and you can still travel to other states to recieve an abortion. Youre lying through your teeth. You wanna talk about reproductive rights? MEN HAVE NONE. Female reproductive rights are based on the philosophy that consenting to sex is not the same as consenting to have a child, yet when MEN dont want the child, we still have to pay child support. Until MEN can demand an abortion, until MEN arent legally required to pay for a baby that they didnt want YOU shouldnt have any rights either. Get over yourself.

[@jakeand9020]

Aside from one point. The people most outspoken about women not knowing what they want if they don't have or want children is women, not men. I will say the rules around female sterilization are absolutely misogynistic. My wife decided to have her tubes tied with the birth of our second child. Both were premature and the doctors very strongly advised against risking another. The chances a child would survive were negligible and it would be a serious risk to her own life to try. She decided to have it done when the C-section was done, doctors said it would be easier since they'd already be halfway there and since she wouldn't have to recover from an extra operation. When we went to actually confirm the procedure they asked ME if I approved. I told them to ask her, not me, they didn't like that answer but proceeded. Then, during the operation after the baby was delivered they had the audacity to stop and ask ME AGAIN if I was ok with it before doing the procedure. My wife was thirty with two children at the time, and we weren't even technically married!

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 5, I would be reporting that nurse to office management. That was ridiculous.

[@weaponwaffers3516]

Story 3: NTA, I would’ve sprayed my house with glow in the dark spray paint if i had a neighbor like that

[@owl7072]

Story 3: Op: **describing their house and how it looks** Me, whose playing sims and trying to decide what to build next: Interesting..... 👀

[@denelva]

Story 4: That's very disturbing. He sees himself as VERY overweight? And it all started with a binge eating problem, which is an eating disorder? And OP is looking at old pics of him in his literal TEENS, thinking that, "well, I'm gonna be supportive here and just tell my 26-year-old partner that I prefer the TEEN VERSION of him, that for sure will help him feel better about himself and make him loose weight so that I can feel attracted to him again, which of course is very important!" Girl, stop. Just... stop. At some point in life, you will also struggle with something body related. It might be weight, balance, skin problems, bad teeth - or a lifelong change caused by an illness or an accident. Your boobs will start sagging, your skin too. Your metabolism will slow down, your hair become more brittle. You, my lovey, wont be 26 forever and if you're unlucky, you may end up with anything from bad arthritis that turns your hands into angry claws, or you'll get disastrously thin hair no extensions in the world can hide. You might get stomach problems that leaves you unable to enjoy your favourite foods again, you might get a permanent problem with urine leakage while in your 40's. You are young now, you are healthy now and young enough to LOOK healthy too, but that will change. I'm 38 and have struggled coming to terms with my wrinkles and how my joints and muscles aches a lot more - I have an extremely active and quite heavy job - and while I'd like for my slightly loose skin on my belly and my "nose to mouth" wrinkles to smooth out, what I want a lot more, is for covid to go the fuck away so that I can start swimming again to get some relief for my joints. Your body is not a thing to LOOK AT, it's a form to LIVE IN. YTA. A young asshole who, just like me, hopefully will mature soon.

[@FrogsForBreakfast]

Even very fit and thin guys are still scrawny in their teens compared to in their 20s! They are going to bulk up a little more muscle and fat as they finish growing and transition out of puberty. Going by BMI, this guy's only a 27. If that's extremely overweight, then I'm the queen of England lol. He definitely has body image issues and his gf needs to tread very carefully. She should see a therapist herself so she can learn how to safely talk about body image around him.

[@simplyk6965]

@@FrogsForBreakfast Hopefully he has a new girlfriend, or he's single.

[@fishlady7930]

I wanted to scream at OP in this one, this poor man is streamlining their way to a eating disorder and body image issues and they are giving them the fast pass! Going off BMI and crap he's like borderline overweight/ideal for his height and age! If he drops 50 lbs he's going to opposite to the low end close to underweight. I really hope OP sees what they are doing to this person and either breaks up or helps them feel much better about themselves and make sure they stay healthy and not make themselves sick just to be attractive.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: So he started going on more trips after their daughter was born. He keeps claiming OP 'forgot' that he already told her about his plans. He has to be *nagged* to use the family schedule calendar and complains that OP is treating him like a child. Yeah... This is suspicious as hell. OP might want to check up on where he's *actually* going. Update: He seemed to agree and then went on the trip, anyway. Yep. Saw *that* coming a mile away. His reaction, too. Typical. 2: Hol' up. He works, hangs out with his friends and brothers, and then spends the entire weekend out wherever? He hasn't *once* honored the 'one hour of watching the baby' promise he made? Has he spent *any* time with OP since the birth? Where is he going on weekends? He's too tired after work to even do a little dusting or rock the baby but he can't play video games? Now *this* is a father who needs to shape up and step up. 3: Hers is going to be the coolest house in the neighborhood come Halloween. Neighbors shouldn't have a say in what people do with their *own property!* 4: On the one hand, he asked a question he obviously didn't want an honest answer for. OP mentioned that he's tried a lot of concerning diets. Has he tried exercise? On the other hand, OP seems to have chosen the *worst* possible way to express herself. Hey, I've been there. Autism spectrum makes figuring out how to say things politely and gently even harder than it is for neurotypicals, but *jeez,* girl, cut him a bit of slack! He's already got body image problems! Focus on you being concerned for his health and how being fit and health is more important than the number on the scale. 5: I was on the nurse's side through the "we don't like doing these procedures on people your age" and steadily lost me as she continued with the spiel. Lady, *I* choose not to have kids because I've got a bunch of mental health problems that render me too emotionally unstable to take care of baby for even a full *afternoon.* There's also a couple physical problems that probably mean I'm infertile, regardless. Sheesh.

[@lisakaz35]

The typical stories here of young mothers with husbands who are at best weekend uncles (rather than fathers) is basically the reason why I have neither husband nor child. If you don't want to end up raising the kid alone, it's the safest alternative. Too many men are stuck in the mentality that they only babysit; they're not fathers.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Agree 100%!

[@willj24]

Story 4: All you have to do is reverse the genders, and you will know whether YTA. Seriously, if a boyfriend told his girlfriend, under any circumstances at all, that she could stand to lose some weight and would be more attractive if she did, can you imagine anyone, anywhere suggesting that he wasn't TA? There's your answer.

[@gabrielmeth4844]

And it would likely be true no matter who said it. A lot of people could stand to lose weight and gain muscle; health is not zero sum, and you can't be TOO healthy. Fit people are attractive, and I would dare anyone to say otherwise and be serious about it.

[@videofan1010]

No need to reverse the genders in a situation where everyone already recognizes that the OP is the problem. People like you are purposefully overusing this mental technique to help people think critically when people are promoting unfair gender bias. Cut it out.

[@gabrielmeth4844]

@@videofan1010 or it could be acknowledging pervasive double standards: the body positivity movement has not benefitted or empowered overweight men, for example, or touted them as desirable. You say that it is overused, I counter that it is difficult to make people empathize with men outside of the most egregious situations (which this one isn't), and in the case of s*xual assault, often not even then.

[@slimecorn]

@@videofan1010 people always bring up the "reverse the genders" thing when it's not even needed lol

[@pinklemonade8320]

Yeah, I can. I (female) asked my bf to tell me honestly if he would prefer me to lose some weight and he said yes. I was just like "ok thanks for being honest, I will now try to lose some weight". If you ask your partner to honestly tell you if you are fatter than they would prefer and you will accuse them of lying if they say no and get upset if they say yes, YTA for putting them in an impossible situation.

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

Story 2 made me feel sick to my stomach. Fathers really tell on themselves when they think that working outside of the home is the difficult part, becaus eit shows they've not even spend an afternoon or evening caring for their baby, because if that were the case they'd know that taking care of a baby 24/7 is the difficult job, because you don't get a break. The husband needs to choose between playing games when he gets home, or the weekends, and that would make him a marginally better dad. Becoming a decent dad would be to actually put their family first and not party until late into the night every weekend. He's not tired from work, he's tired because he's acting like a bachelor when he's married with a child.

[@dillongage]

Working outside the home is MUCH harder than raising a child 99% of the time. I work in factory lifting hundreds of pounds of equipment, standing 20ft in the air on top of machinery thats 1,500°F. I frequently have to operate heavy machinery that WILL kill dozens of people, because if I f@ck up, it explodes and releases chlorine gas into the air. Also, YES YOU DO GET A BREAK 😂😂 Children spend the vast majority of their early years asleep or at school. 6-8hrs per day at school, and 8-10hrs a day sleeping. Thats a minimum, of 16/24hrs. You have to do MAYBE 8hrs of actual work, and atleast 4 of that the father will also be there. You BARELY do anything as a stay at home mother. You really think raising a child is anywhere near that hard? Youre weak. Also, the vast majority of fathers come home from a long day at work and ALSO RAISE THE CHILD. Get over yourself.

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

@@dillongage lmao. First off, not every person who works out of the home has a job like yours. The majority work in an office building. Second, no a 1 year old doesn’t spend the majority of the day at school when there’s a SAHM. You just prove that you don’t know anything about raising a child

[@ineedhoez]

Ayo!

[@roryemmons7929]

Story 2: "For at least an hour" On the weekend he can only watch is kid for an hour??? WTH. He's not even a Dad at this point, just a bio-dad. Honestly this guy needs to be belittled more! Earning money doesn't get a free pass to do anything.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA I don't need the Story. It's OP's house and Karen can STFU. A darker shade won't hurt property values as long as the house is kept up. This Karen is getting her panties in a bunch for business that isn't hers.

[@micheleosullivan4430]

The final story is such a trigger for me. (Not one that I can't handle) I jumped through so many hoops to get my tubes tied. I was young, but I had three children within 4.5 years. I was SO DONE! First hoop. My, then-husband. In the state we lived in, the husband had to sign an authorization for the wife to have their tubes tied! What? Yet, he could have walked into any urologist and requested a vasectomy without my authorization? The injustice had me fuming! This was one of the first nails in the coffin of our marriage because he agreed with this law, Second Hoop. My age went against me. (Remember, I already had three children, 4.5 -.3.5, and a newborn. I was only 21 years old. I was a teen mom (highly do not recommend it) I had a terrible home life and ran wild at times because of the stress at home. Anyway, 17 - 21 with 3 children. Third Hoop. I was forced into 6 sessions with a therapist. I'm not mad about this one and I took advantage of this opportunity to sort other things out. I had an amazing rapport with the therapist and she let me talk about anything. After six weeks, she sent her recommendation that I was fully aware of my choices and in a good place mentally. (She was a rockstar) Hoop Four. Insurance turned down the procedure. It was outpatient and a common procedure so I was baffled. I made so many calls and was finally told by an agent that they deemed me too young. Fuming again! I fought it and lost 4x over. Fine! I saved every bit I could to pay cash. (My youngest is 6mo at this point) Hoop Five. My, then-husband refused to sign the authorization after I jumped through hoops 1-4. I'll admit, I became unhinged. I cut his butt off and there was a NO SEX on the table until he signed. I was even petty af. I'd walk around in sexy nighties and flirted like mad, only to turn him down. I'd have the authorization papers on the dining table every morning with a pen. He broke in five weeks and I finally could schedule the procedure. Note: I'm 56 years old now and not one single day of regret after my tubal. 😘

[@Emilia-vy3hz]

Mark´s witch laugh was the highlight of my day 😂

[@dracawyn]

Story 3: OP's house sounds like my exact aesthetic. 😂 NTA. If there isn't an HOA dictating how houses in the neighborhood should look, them no body gets to tell you how to decorate your own home and space. Neighbor is just being an annoying, controlling boomer who can't stand anything different from her. NTA

[@ashh4929]

Me too! This woman almost sounds like my doppleganger style wise. Cooperate goth as she says. Lol. I live by a bright purple house with bright white trim and a bright yellow house with blue trim and doors. I think it's ugly as sin but I'll be damned if I would ever say that because I don't like it, you *have* to change it. If neighbor comes back round, tell her to kindly diddle herself with a hot curling iron and cackle like a maniac. Lol

[@itsjustme7487]

@@ashh4929 Better reply than I came up with.

[@reflexnight]

About the last story, when I was about 11ish I had a twisted Testicle. This started out early Thursday, My mom called our doctors office and was told by the lady there its nothing to worry about and she made an appointment for next Monday. My mom took her word for this and I spent the next weekend in huge amounts of pain as by the time of the appointment my Testicle was about the size of a softball. The Doctor looked at me and excused himself for a moment and stepped out of the room. I found out latter from my sister who saw it that he walked into the reception office and fired the lady there on the spot. he then called the hospital and booked me a privet room and booked the OR. I was in there in just an hour and that night the top specialist for this kind of thing was flown in and took care of the operation I needed. If I had gone in Thursday they could have fixed what was wrong in a quick painless operation. as it was my Testicle had died and gone Gangrene and if it had broken open I would have died. The doctor paid for everything and though we had a good case against him he lucked out as my parents didn't sue him. I did get the best care money could buy so that was something good about it. My point is that the front desk person has NO call to question your making an appointment.

[@HideyHoleOrg]

Story 5: How well does this nurse know OP to "Think she would make a great mother"?!

[@standinthegsp6858]

Time to break up with him & get an attorney. Have him sign over custody of the children. Although the child support would be nice, he’d do the exact same thing when it was “his” time. Be sure to document with approximate dates & times & keep several copies. Then you can show the courts & when the children are older you can show them too.

[@MildredCady]

Story 3: OP is NTA. If there’s not an HOA, as long as it’s good repair it’s not going to drive down the property values. Your neighbor is just being a judgmental busy body.

[@SourLlama]

Story 2: I’d calmly ask her if she really wants to piss off the ‘witchy’ neighbor by insulting her house? Can’t say as I’d be able to keep the spirits and beasties in check if I’m feeling unwelcome to the neighborhood. Also, so does that mean she’ll be passing on the monthly full moon dances?

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#4 YTA, he is at a healthy weight for his age and height and needs to be encouraged that he is, you seem to judge on looks.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 4: OP is TA. Even though she told him "the truth", she also had unrealistic ideals. 150lbs??? WTF??? A grown ass man with a good muscle mass will be around 170-190. Now it is true that an athlete can get down to 7% body fat, that is attained by doing rigorous training and a specific diet that even the athlete doesn't keep up during the off season. 15% body fat is just fine for a fit man. Maybe 20% is pushing it. I'm thinking OP's fiance is struggling with eating disorders so her "being truthful" has caused more damage than anything. People need to be smarter when others ask them for their honest opinion. SMH

[@pansprayers]

Yeah, if my husband managed to get down to 150, I'd be hauling him to the doctor, ASAP. But, I'm a nutritionist with legit medical training, and realistic expectations for the human body, age, and just reality.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@raeanna451]

Story 2. He's living like they don't have a child. He can't even give her one hour. And goes out drinking with his buddies every single weekend. That is not sustainable and is going to lead to a big burnout. I hope OP does just finish school and get out. At this point If he doesn't change and step up she is basically a single parent already.

[@hilarymurray8741]

Wife trying to finish coursework. This reminds me of my husband, whose idea of 'helping' me to study was to go fishing and leave me to look after four young children! NTA

[@fcold9402]

5. WTF. NTA. The nurse needed to set up the appointment, you didn't call for advice.

[@autumn557]

You’re right male friend. It’s SOOO much better having an accident kid you never wanted and arent prepared for. And let me play a tiny violin for how much any woman cares about his feelings about it.

[@helenafarkas4534]

story 2: sock him for child support and alimony. your already a single parent, might as well make it official. oh, and go for full custody as well, because you are clearly the only parent in that house

[@michamocha]

S2: NTA. If Op says that his behavior is shocking and brand new, that kind of makes me think he's just now showing his true colors now that he got her "trapped" with a baby. S4: YTA and a huge one. Jfc, you know your boyfriend has depression and disorder eating and you still tell him he would be better if he just magically snap back to his high school body. The man is 26. Of fucking course he's not going to look like he did in high school. He was seeking comfort and reassurance and Oo just stomped all over that with her unrealistic standards. If she's not happy with the way he looks, she needs to let him go so he can find somehow who appreciates him as he is and support him with his depression. S5: NTA and your friend's logic is painfully flawed. If he's doesn't want kids, why would he be upset that his partner's tubes are tied? One, you can just adopt if you change your mind and two, that means your life plans are no longer compatible and you should either seek a different partner or find other methods. The nurse should've stayed in her place as a professional and kept personal feelings out of the way. If she can't handle facing others who think differently from her than she really has no business being in a career that requires you to assistant the general public.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

3rd Story: NTA. I also love and have a gothic aesthetic so I already love OP's dark home. The Karen is just another old nosy diddy that needs to mind her own beeswax.

[@Nihlus16]

Last story: NTA NTA NTA and every friend who calls you an A-hole for telling the nurse off like that need to be told off too.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story: I am sick to death of people telling a woman what "they ought to do" with their bodies 🤦🏼‍♀️. Took me 5 years and 2 extra children than planned for the medical to FINALLY understand WHY pregnancy was too risky for me and why other birth control wasn't going to work, (tried all but one). And the people saying how husband should "step up"... er... I am the one who knew what she wanted before children, and we practice my body, my right, so why push for someone who wasn't comfortable, but the partner who has a much harder battle but got there in the end, do what they don't want? People need to just shut up and do their job without giving personal opinions that are not helpful/required.

[@crystalsmith980]

I had to fight for 3 months to get a tubal due to only having 1 biological child. I was told repeatedly that I will change my mind, I’m not old enough to make that decision, my husband should have a say. No. No. And definitely not. I have 3 kids even though only one is biological. If I’m old enough to get married and raise said kids, I’m old enough to make that decision. Finally if my husband wants more kids, he will have to find someone else cause it’s not going to be with me. I got a tubal the day my youngest turned 3 1/2 months old. Have never regretted the decision. P.S. My husband supported my decision. After looking at the statistics on a tubal and vasectomy pregnancies, we decided that I would get a tubal. My youngest is 19 and we know of 2 people who got pregnant after their spouse had a vasectomy (paternity tests were had). I’m super glad I had a tubal 😅

[@rogueshark23]

What the nurse did was too personal and what a woman does to her body is no one's f***ing business but hers alone and her choices.

[@dillongage]

They do the exact same thing to men. Your problem isnt unique. Ive been told im too young by 6 different doctors in the last 3 years. I've already frozen sperm and everything. They dont care. Frankly I dont even feel bad for you. Men have zero reproductive rights. A 13y/o r@pe victim in Kansas was forced to pay child support to his abuser. Until men dont have to pay child support for children they didnt want, I couldnt care less about you being forced to have children.

[@fuilli]

story 5: get rid of the friend and get that nurse fired none of your business, friend and nurse!

[@Midorikonokami]

After he told me "check the calendar" I would have said "check the front lawn" with pictures of all his stuff in boxes there

[@opulentzinger]

#3: I want OP's house. #4: That nurse is way out of line. It's so hard for women who have decided to not have children to get their tubes tied, when men have no issues with getting a vasectomy at the same age. Plus she doesn't know your medical history, So she needs to butt out

[@OutsideGalaxy]

Honestly I'm really concerned for the boyfriend in story 4. Not eating and obsessing over ones wait, combined with the idea that he's still really overweight which it doesn't sound like he is are all signs of an ongoing or potentially developing eating disorder. I think the girlfriend continually pushing him to continue to lose weight, could lead to very bad consequences.

[@kairevenge9041]

*weight

[@pansprayers]

Yeah, combined with the OP *knowing* he used to binge eat? Yikes, yikes, yikes.

[@dillongage]

That guy either has bulimia or anorexia. Im 6ft and 180lbs and I could play my ribcage like a xylophone.

[@gilesclone]

As the parent of a child with an ED I find OP’s behavior here very disturbing.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1:,NTA dude is super inconsiderate and his "I told you but you forgot" is the definition of gaslighting. He also doesn't "forget" when she's already made plans, he just doesn't care. He's had a ton of holidays she's had none. She should get priority . OP really needs to reassess this relationship because it's it's clear he doesn't care enough about Her or care enough to care for the child without her. Finally OP needs to lighten up on the whole "I don't trust my parents thing". Unless there's some additional context like her parents are abusive or whatever" they raised her. They know how to take care of a child. If the child was an infant maybe I'd understand OP not wanting to be apart but the kid is 3 and it's very weird that she wouldn't trust her parents. Unless she has some specific reason not to she should. Edit: I'm glad OP finally left. What an unrepentant asshole. Then coming back like nothing could happen.

[@gaxalee7392]

I’m sorry. I might have missed it, but where did Op say she didn’t trust her parents to watch her daughter? I know she said something about being uncomfortable with it, but I thought that was referring to Covid and not wanting to risk getting her parents and/or her daughter sick. I hope I’m not coming across as rude; I’m just a little lost.

[@Mewse1203]

@@gaxalee7392 no, you may be right. I interpreted it as "I am uncomfortable cause I don't think they can handle something happening" as in she didn't trust them to handle bad situations. I may have misjudged that one.

[@gaxalee7392]

@@Mewse1203 Oh, ok. Thanks for responding!

[@cro3747]

he was able to remember HIS plans just fine and able to 'remember' to tipex out OPs plans. he ALWAYS knew exactly what he was doing.

[@Mewse1203]

@@cro3747 Him saying he forgot was either bullshit or he didn't care or respect her enough to remember.

[@anahun2270]

Story 2 already has an update! OP sat down with the husband and made it very clear: it’s either him changing his behavior and go to counseling or she and the baby moves back to her family which is 5 hours away. He agreed to counseling, apologized, made breakfast in bed next morning, told OP to go grocery shopping (which she loves) where she also meets up with a friend for coffee, and he also made plans for the next weekend for them to go to an arboretum. Let’s hope he keeps it up :)

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: YTA Dude isn't even overweight. OP was incredibly cruel. Instead of making him feel good about himself, she destroyed his self esteem. He wanted her to tell him she was attracted to him as is and she not only said the oppositebut that he'd be more attractive if he was younger. You're not even fully grown in high school so it's impossible for you to ungrow without some massive problems. Now he's not eating and it's her fault.

[@jackspring7709]

Hopefully he'll dump her soon before he developes and eating disorder. I couldn't believe what I was listening to - 14 stone lol!

[@carolroberts4614]

I hope one day she asks him if her bum looks big in this......

[@slimecorn]

She's an asshole but 5'11" 200 lbs is overweight unless you're a bodybuilder

[@pansprayers]

@@slimecorn 150 lbs is for 5' 11". Aside from that, it's really screwed up to tell someone who has a history of binge eating, and can trigger a relapse. If I would have seen someone with his height walk into my office when I was working with those with ED's (I was a nutritionist, working with males and females with ED's), the effing alarm bells would have gone off.

[@ravenmagic5]

@@slimecorn it's not over weight. The healthy weight range for those of 5'11 -6'0 is 180-200lbs 170lbs and below are underweight 225lbs is slightly overweight and so on. Eta: she also was tactless to the point of hurting someone she claimed to love by using his own insecurities against him

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 1 & 2. It took BOTH of them to make the baby! Not just the girl. What's up with all these partners not wanting to help with the child they helped make.

[@clairebear-96]

last story: “you’ll never have the chance to have an accident” uh YEAH that’s exactly the point. if i had an accident and couldn’t do anything about it I’d probably off myself tbqh. the whole POINT of getting ur tubes tied or removed is so you NEVER have an accident. what a stupid thing to say lmfao

[@SuperYoshi29]

The first one makes me so sad for OP that her (now) ex-boyfriend had treated her that way. I’m glad she finally split from him but he was downright awful to her

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Women, listen to these stories! Be very picky when you chose a husband and NEVER be 100% dependent on your partner. That power goes to his (or her) head and the monster comes out.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 1: Why did he and first baby momma not work out? I'd look in to that. Two I REALLY DOUBT every trip he said was see kid number 1 was to go see that kid. I hope OP is ready to fight and ring every last red cent her child is due from this dead beat.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙 also I got the results they are negative

[@UndeadSteampunk]

It is to late for you I have sent good vibes there is no stopping them

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@UndeadSteampunk awwww thanks and I send u virtual hugs and baked treats 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@colby625b9]

Can't get over OBGYN being a word in his mind, love it's O-B-G-Y-N

[@itazuranakisu]

OP is in a vulnerable situation as a stay at home since some people don’t respect it as a job but see it as “well I can help make the kid but you’re on your own but if they do something awesome I should get praise”. OP should be able to get some time to herself because a stay at home is a job and unwinding is important and provides better care of the child. The husband is being selfish and really if OP wisely leaves him after getting her ducks in a row he’ll see how he took advantage but hopefully OP won’t fall for his regrets after all this crap.

[@Buff_Helpy]

Mark:•sings• Buff Helpy:(palpatine voice)"goood."

[@janejane6754]

Story 1. I saw this happen with my SIL. He just didn't listen and when it finally blew up she said she was finally done. And she really was done. She divorced and didn't look back with her daughter.

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA but if you have to set a curfew to begin with you are already in a lose, lose situation.

[@Listrynne]

Just before I turned 34 I had a hysterectomy. I went from deciding I wanted it to having the surgery in under 3 months. I had to sign a couple papers saying that I KNOW this means I'll never be pregnant again and I'm ok with that. Apparently some people don't realize that a uterus is essential to baby making. 🙄 I didn't get any push back from the medical staff. The only delay was waiting for insurance to approve it, and that was 1 week. I wish all people born with a uterus could have a similar experience.

[@HaleyJo1992]

I'm so grateful getting my tubes yoinked was a positive and easy experience. I entered that office ready for a fight, and doc was just "It sounds like you've really thought about this and it's the best choice for you." I was like "Yes, and...yes, yes it is. Wow, that was easy." Tubes gone 2 months later. 7 months out and I'm so happy dating a man who also doesn't want kids.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 5 : NTA. I find it amazing that there is so much push back on this kind of thing for people in their mid 20s, but a neighbour's teenage kid had hormones and top surgery done, to transition to a boy. Now in their mid 20's they have decided to stop the hormone treatments because "it's to much of a bother" and now many female traits are starting to re-emerge.

[@soogymoogi]

Lots of times trans people detransition because they face increased transphobia if they don't pass well enough. That could be what neighbor's kid meant

[@lavenderblack4165]

I've seen some places just make it extremely difficult to get treatment and refills for their treatment so that could be it. Honestly though both are pretty difficult. Depending on the state, most will as you need to get 2 psych evals just move on to the beginning stages of transitioning/getting your tubes tide. And the most you'll get as a trans teen, medically wise are blockers and then you cant do much else until after you're 18. How much you get fuck over depends on where you live in the states. Some states wont let you get your tubes tied unless you've already had kids or have permission from your husbands. and how conservative the area a person lives in has an affect on the rate of detransitioning, I think it was something like

[@ectonyx]

stories like #5 make me happy that i'm pretty open about my reasonings for not wanting kids. if i ever get my tubes tied or a hysterectomy and someone tries to guilt me about it, i'll happily inform them of my infertility and the several genetic disorders i don't wish to pass on! make them feel uncomfortable. besides, even if OP _was_ just scared of being pregnant, that's a completely understandable fear and a valid reason to tie your tubes? i'd be terrified of carrying another human inside me.

[@selbarton]

1. Wait, so is she claiming hubby is hauling in virus to his family or are the grandparents a risk to the child? He should be a parent and watch his child, but that poor child being left with a father that has no intention of watching so she is growing up neglected and treated as unwanted. She's going to grow up thinking this abusive behavior is what is supposed to happen and how men should treat her. Call the landlord to get the locks changed, not just sit around going "can't put forth the effort to protect myself or my child from his abuse". She'll be back with him in a few months at most. 2. Setting curfew for an adult like he's a child. Why is the child up at 11pm? She's up til 1 or 2 to be texting him. So there is time for homework if she isn't keeping the kid up at all hours to use as an excuse. He needs to be a parent, but her making the child attached to her hip by her own actions has her piling more stress on herself to get the attention of the baby to replace his while he's out. Have a feeling she doesn't go do while he has the baby either because she can't let it have a moment without her. 3. People need to stop going "wearing black makes me goth". It makes them sound so desperate to seem edgy instead of normal. If the house is that different from the neighborhood, yes it will drop property values as they won't want to see the eyesore of the area. And the suggestion of an HOA is silly since they don't exist in every neighborhood. Grey isn't "witchy" so sounds like she's creating fiction or is downplaying her decor. 4. For a man, his weight is fine for his height. He already has body issues, and she had to go and tell him he's too fat for her... A complete lack of empathy and still preferring a teenage body is disturbing. She wants him down to the weight of a 5'9" woman. Men are supposed to be heavier. Her excuse of not understanding pounds is bs because she's fully capable of entering the weight she knew to get the pounds, and she likely did. She just decided to skip looking up appropriate weight for his height and build. He needs to get out of that relationship, work on loving himself, and find someone that loves him, not just the teenage athlete. 5. If she disliked it from the nurse, wait until the doctor tells her the same thing because the nurse just gave her the stance of the office, they don't like doing it for young women because women aren't permitted to know their own mind. We as women are expected to reproduce and same as in the old days, women are too hysterical and emotional to rationally decide against their sole purpose in living. He is telling her how some males will make the immediate no for her being fixed which will be a discussion they will need to have fairly early on. She needs to stop feeling like he's horrible for admitting it. And if getting it done is to avoid the change in feelings toward having a kid, she's dillusional. Sure it'll stop accidents, but it sounds more like fear of liking having kids the way she phrased it. She's going to have a hard time finding any gyno willing at that rate.

[@carlajones9506]

Tell your husband that since he refused to be a father finish school, get a job and leave him and tell him he now dos'nt have to help with YOUR baby.

[@theasinclaire52]

Story 1: I bet this is the reason his previous relationship failed. He's probably done this to other women. NTA. He IS.

[@krazycats564]

I hate when people ask people to be honest and then get mad when people do...

[@Scheriff091]

All these stories from r/relationships and r/aita have comforted me in my decision to not have children. The amount of stories in which partners/spouses/relationships are perfect until a kid is thrown into the mix is absolutely mindblowing. If I ever come across an asshole of a dude, I want to be able to leave without any strings attached. Sharing a kid with one of these terrible people would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to me, and these stories show that you can't always tell these people suck before the kid is actually there. No thanks! Edit story 5: Ugh. NTA. Pretty sure people like that nurse are also the ones trying to ban abortions.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

Story 4: YTA. and how is getting him to 170 lbs any better than 150 lbs? this is just unrealistic considering you know he can't lose more. laziness?? the dude lost weight and after everything was said and done you still go "yeah, lose more" instead of something like "now let's maintain this weight". not to mention you put him down lmfao

[@telinhajp]

Story 1: Now, the boyfriend will have to really coordinate time to see both children from different mothers.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 3: NTA as long as there's no HOA. If there is, OP's screwed.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

It sounds like the boyfriend fron Story 1 doesn't want OP to see her friends, or be responsible for their daughter. He is deliberately isolating her from her friends and family. Along with the gaslighting, he sounds like an abusive and manipulative ahole. Edit. SO glad she dumped his sorry butt.

[@goofygoofymf]

Story 3: So NTA. She purchased the house with her own money, and she's just having a good time!

[@RenEmell]

23:31 I cannot get over the way Mark said "Bad partner" like "Bad doggy!!"

[@jennya9838]

My grandmother painted her house black with white trim for over 45 years. She never mentioned a single neighbor complaint or any problems with neighborhood property values. In fact, when she decided to move in with my uncle, her house sold pretty fast. As far as I remember, no one ever mentioned to her that house color would affect the value of even her house.

[@Lunasera]

Story 4: my fiance and I actually had a similar situation recently but I would like to believe mine went better. My fiance was really actively playing handball during his school years and had to stop when he got into his further education due to scheduling issues. He gained a little bit of weight, nowhere near enough to be seriously overweight. But more importantly he lost a good amount of muscles and had a shift in which muscle groups were more prominent. His trade involves a lot of heavy work which causes the back muscles to grow and push the internal organs forward causing his belly to be a bit rounded. Now I am overweight myself and since he supports me with my weight loss without any pressure I want to do the same for him. Recently he was complaining about his lack of training and his weight gain. Corona wasn't making it easier to do anything either. I told him that I love him the way he is and the way he feels good about himself as long as he is healthy. So if he wants to loose weight I will do my best to help him as far as he wants me to and if he decides he doesn't want to it will be alright too. Of course he was attractive as an athletic 20 year old but I love him not his looks. It's not like he's unrecognizable. However I have to say we have a pretty open and honest relationship. No unnecessary sweetening things up. We tell each other daily multiple times that we love and appreciate each other the way we are. I admit I have many flaws and I'm happy he loves me the way I am. So when he asked years ago, I honestly told him, he doesn't look like what I would have imagined to be my type as a teenager and he is no model or idol but he is perfect for me and that is all that I need.

[@abigailking6933]

The angry Mark face at the "WTF" at roughly 11:58 caught me so off-guard XD had me damn near cackling I love it how have I not seen it before XD

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: "You can do whatever you want. I agree you should get a break too."Then; "You can't do XXXX because I have something planned that day. I told you weeks ago, YOU just don't remember." Yeah; no, he is actively trying to keep OP from doing anything(alone?), and is "claiming" to have planned things "you just don't remember" to keep her stuck with the child while he goes to have a break. OP is already a single parent, so why not just make it official? I have a feeling OP would have more free time if they were to get away from this guy. NTA story 2: If possible; take the child to a family member for the time of the exam, or just ask if you and the child can stay while OP considers the future of this "relationship". Maybe if the man-child who is SOOO exhausted after work has some time all alone he will come to realise what a trash person he is. If he is so tired that he "just can't" watch the child for an hour, maybe the little boy should be going to bed early instead of "relaxing" with his bros. OP should go on strike. Do OP's and thechild's cleaning/laundry/ food prep. Leave all HIS stuff for HIM to do. If he gets upset about not having clean clothing; tell him "Sorry I didn't have time I was (insert everything done for child/school/ OP)" every day. NTA story 3: That colour scheme sounds totally neural, as in it goes with everything. If this "neighbour" want to live in her technicolour , cartoon-ish world that is her problem. OP is entitled to make THEIR home theirs'. Not what the grumpy old lady down the street wants. If she doesn't like how YOUR house looks, she can NOT look at it. How immature of her to berate OP for not living in HER cookie-cutter mold of a life. OP needs to continue to be a proud individual and not listen to bitter old ladies with too much spare time and not enough hobbies. NTA x 1000000 story 4: This OP is body shaming. That OP isn't grossly over weight. We all put on weight as we age, that is natural. It is unrealistic and unhealthy to be SOOO obsessed with the number of pounds rather than important things like blood pressure, and exercise. I find a hefty body much more attractive over a very slender looking body type. This is so sad. I feel SOOO bad for that poor guy. YTA x100000 story 5: F her!!! It is NOT her decision, or her choice to make. Could OP change their mind in the future; sure. Could OP get into a serious life altering accident leaving them unable to care for 6 kids, also possible. It is also totally possible that OP could end up falling for a guy who never wants/ can't have kids. There are SOOOO many "possible" things in the future that could change, that we have no way of knowing/any control over. This "nurse" isn't god(or god's messenger) and has no right sticking HER nose into other people's business. Tell the friend that when it's HIS bady/decision he can be as "polite" as HE wants. Unsolicited advice is unsolicited, as in; "I did not ask you for a lecture on what I NEED to do as a 'real' woman. I asked you to preform YOUR job and set up MY appointment." Not her body; not her decision, period! Once OP gets the appointment they should question the doctor as to what the office's policy is for interrogating potential patients about their decision making abilities. If they condone such behavior I would file a complaint with whatever medical over-cite board is available. This is totally unacceptable behaviour no matter what. NTA x 100000

[@Nikki_81]

Story #2: My daughter just turned 18, I've been the only parent in her life. I'm sure that answers what happened when I was in a similar situation to the OP! While it sucks and is super hard to do, being on your own is much better then the stress of begging your spouse to be a parent! I worked fulltime and went to school fulltime, not once but twice as a single mom! It can happen!!

[@notovny]

OP: "If it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist." BF: "I agree. I have erased your trip from the calendar." OP. "Our relationship is not on the calendar." BF: "Wait, I'm sorry! I'll use the calendar as intended in the future!" OP: "Necessary, but not Sufficient. Contact through lawyers, please."

[@ruffr4bb1t]

For story 5: it’s always an obstacle course to get any permanent sterilization for people young or without many children.

[@nancyjay790]

I was kind of lucky. When I was about to be taken into have a caesarean to deliver my third child (age 37, which may have helped), I asked if, seeing as I would be accessible, could we deal with it? The nurse paused, then said probably. I just had a few more permission forms to sign, and that was that. I feel really sad for women of any age who have to argue for a procedure while men rarely get much argument about theirs.

[@lulujac9196]

Story 2… Yes!! You’re the AH for letting him get away with all his BS!!! If he was my hubby….he’d be out the door. I was a SAHM and my hubby worked 60-80 hrs a week. If by chance he wasn’t working Sunday, he’d let me sleep in and once in awhile he’d get up with the baby at night during the week. This guy is a selfish AH!!!! I hope you can get him to straighten out…

[@fortitudeecho1264]

30:23 Mark having to take a short moment to breathe and compose himself sent me XD

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: NTA, say it with me, GASLIGHTING. Story 2: Second verse same as the first.(^) Story 3: NTA, a (witch house) to me would include a number of shrunken heads surrounding and a number of other unsettling things, this only clashes with the community, but it's doesn't sound that bad. Story 4: OP is the AH for ignorance that that isn't natural to weight that much, though at the same time the BF seems to need genuine help as some commenters say. Reminder, when you ask a question, expect that any answer can be said. Story 5: NTA, you are right that it's none of the nurses business. If you want to be child free then go for it, and on the point of being 'scared of pregnancy' if OP wants to be a parent in the future they could adopt, plain and simple.