An Attractive Female Friend Invited MY Boyfriend To A Wedding As Her Date r/Relationships

[@shiankovalik-stager7344]

Ladies STOP trying to be the “cool” girlfriend. It’s dumb to not establish boundaries

[@patty-pat-pat]

The cool gf just means you have no standards, boundaries or expectations. No thanks!

[@FirstIsa]

Speaking as a guy: I'm fully aware when it comes to relationships I am denser than a compressed lead brick. I would rather you tell me something bothers you than have a relationship blow up because you didn't tell me something was wrong and it caused a rift. talk to me and be honest and I'll do the same.

[@hismom5600]

THIS. RIGHT. HERE. There's nothing wrong with having hard boundaries. This doesn't have to mean you're an insecure control freak. I'm tired of people denying their common sense to prove something.

[@dream6562]

@hismom5600 you're right but it's also important how you convey them

[@KateBrod]

Sometimes, it's not about being the "cool girlfriend", but being scared of looking controlling. When I started dating my boyfriend, his girl best friend wanted him to go on a run with her the same day he brought me home to meet his mother for the first time. Me, not wanting to look controlling after only 5 months of dating was planning to let him go and not say anything until his mother told me to put my foot down and not let her come between us because this friend has inserted herself in every single relationship he ever had, which ruined them all. That woke me up and I told my boyfriend I was not comfortable with her excluding me and asked him if she was willing to change her plans. What do you know, she changed plans to include me and cancelled them last minute because she suddenly "didn't have the time to see him".

[@carlrood4457]

Has to be some of the stupidest advice I've heard. While OP is being the trusting GF, the other girl is imposing herself into their lives. You don't say, "My parents will love you." to a platonic friend.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea, or needing him to spend the night on a wedding weekend.

[@cheeriomartinez]

The fact that someone told her to trust him because he chose her was mind blown.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

I'm stuck on "doesn't want to spend the night alone". No wedding I've ever been to ran so late that you need to make sleeping arrangements with your date that you aren't dating. You say "I don't want to go to the wedding alone". Not spending the night alone means you want after hours company.

[@Nortarachanges]

I’m ace as heck, and even I would only want this kind of arrangement if I was looking for a ride afterwards and not driving there myself. I talk about my family a lot, so the “my parents will love you” didn’t trip any alarms for me. But there is no other way to take the not wanting to spend a night alone comment unless she has some severe anxieties not mentioned

[@JennRighter]

The boyfriend is the most responsible party.

[@tatertot1946]

Both stories. Rule #1 and the only rule: DO NOT PLAY THE PICK ME GAME. Tell them they can have each other and walk away. Permanently.

[@DullestStar9299]

Sensible advice, really. It's so sad that people would rather fight for someone who has shown to have wishy washy loyalties. Like, where is the self-respect, people?

[@Russman67]

Story 1: That woman is working her way in on OP's boyfriend and he's letting her. Granted, she tried to get the home run by taking him on an overnight date to a wedding. But when that failed, he got her to take her out for ice cream? And the boyfriend has to "make it up to her"? That man is not trying to push her away. In fact he might be looking at her as a solid next girlfriend.

[@Kalossupremacy3356]

Honestly, I’m dense as hell so I prolly would miss pretty much all of the stuff the op pointed out. But the wedding invite? That gotta be atleast a sign to confirm with someone with how close that is, like even I’d suspect something is up.

[@catsncrows]

Maybe not that but possibly soaking up the attention which is semi shady

[@SailorMya]

I think he is just playing dumb regarding the "friend's" advancements since anyone with eyes can see her game! He liked having her hang on him and even tried to protect their "friendship" to keep her around since he wouldn't be able to see her if those two stopped hanging out together. The pit of my stomach feels like he might start "hanging out" with her alone because of how persistent she seems and how easily manipulated he can be. All it seems to take is her saying "OP doesn't have to know!" and "I just want to be "friends"!" to make him putty in her hands! Look at how easily she got an ice cream date!

[@izuela7677]

I am not a jealous person. If a mutual friend asked my hubby to be their date at some family gathering, to show up their more annoying relatives or whatever, I would be fine with it. IF I had no reason to think she had feelings for him. This situation is not fair to the girlfriend. And if he truly has no interest in the friend it's not fair to her, either. He is stringing her along by indulging her crush. How dense is the boyfriend? He is either cheating, contemplating it, stringing the friend along on purpose out of vanity or so damn naive he doesn't notice the inappropriate feelings. I can't help but feel that the next update will be the boyfriend slept with the friend. "He didn't mean to. He was just so upset he tripped and fell into her vagina!"

[@bmarie1001]

He's playing stupid...

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

The fact that no one is calling out this dude for having to be TOLD it's inappropriate to go to this wedding is absolutely MIND BLOWING to me!!!

[@coreymartin6486]

I did. Im a guy who had a female bf while being in a relationship and his behavior start to finish disgusts me.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@@coreymartin6486 for real I couldn't believe she even had to tell him these completely obvious common sense things. Then in the end she ends up feeling like the bad guy or the crazy one and like apologizing to Reddit. What?!

[@paperkay]

Because no woman should ever tell a MAN what is appropriate and what isn't. It's what HE says is. Not what SHE thinks. She matters nothing in this triangle.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@paperkay oh stop, I've seen the exact same situation play out with the genders flipped. Take your man hating somewhere else.

[@wmdkitty]

Because Reddit hates women, and everything must be a woman's fault. I'm not even joking.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 this is rude AF. It is so inappropriate to ask someone's BF to attend a wedding with you, especially if it's overnight. And these aren't randoms, this is HER family. She's not spending the night alone. She is a complete red flag. She 1000% wants your man

[@anahkit]

I'm wondering if the boyfriend doesn't realise this girl has feelings for him, or if he's really liking her attention?

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

@@anahkitthe thing is even if he doesn’t realize it himself, he should still listen to his girlfriend, and then observe the friends behavior

[@johnbradbury8610]

She's not going to look like a bitch for telling her boyfriend no, she needs to stop worrying about what it looks like. Is she running for office? That last commenter must be friends with Ops's boyfriend. Its over.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op is an idiot for staying with this guy.

[@anahkit]

@@justinebidulopoutchini9774 I agree with you 100%, that's why I think he might be aware but like the girl's attention, especially after the update, and how he got mad with OP for expressing her feelings about their friendship. Either that, or he's very easily manipulated.

[@AndyyWithAY]

IDGAF how long we've known each other, if you're trying to steal my man, you're not my friend. But let her have him. He should not be telling you to ignore this blatant disrespect. They're both out of line. Her for giving the expensive gift and him for wanting to reciprocate. Friends don't disrespect your relationship and blatantly flirt with your BF/GF. It's infinitely better to be alone than have people like this.

[@NottyAries]

Ikr. It's really suspicious how hard he's fighting for her not to end her friendship.

[@wimsylogic65]

​@@NottyAries Yeah right like why would he care if she keeps her friends or not. He shouldn't give a f*** if she ends a friendship with her friend. In fact he should be supporting her.

[@brianaschmidt910]

Guys. It's his friend. Not op's Edit: My bad, I thought this was about story 1. Not story 2

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 update let her have him. You're not some fling and y'all are not 14, 2 years is a pretty serious relationship. He should never treat you like this over a very valid concern. I don't agree with that commenter at all. Many people don't want to upset the status quo and choose what's familiar. Just bc he could've been with her and didn't doesn't mean he's all in with OP. ETA if she was repentant she would have apologized to OP and invited her to ice cream (too). What she did is double down Dump him. She wants him, he's not dedicated to you enough. End it. Let her have him

[@paulagoeringer9466]

But wait until after the wedding 😂 she deserves a bit of pettiness.

[@WyntheRogue]

@@paulagoeringer9466 And maybe put them both on blast on the socials and tell your other lady friends to guard their SOs around her, OP's back stabby [hopefully ex] friend is your text book thirsty Pick-Me hoe. Catty towards OP, steals her ideas, and gaslights and girlbosses her way into their relationship in hopes of being picked. Also obvi if OP were to go this petty route, put all the evidence out for the world to see as the collective scarlet letter. Either OP's BF is denser than a Christmas fruitcake or dude's been cheating this whole time to keep making such stupid excuses like this, OP's honestly better off without either of these trashy people.

[@k3upikachu]

Yup!! My bf used to let his ex wife stay in his guest room when she came into town for work/ appts. They were basically platonic by the time they filed for divorce and some time had passed, but it still made me uncomfortable bc they have so much history together. I tried not to care, but it stressed me tf out every time she stayed with him & it negatively affected our relationship. Once we started to get serious, I said he'd need to set boundaries with her if he wanted our relationship to succeed. I didn't demand it, but I made sure he understood my feelings and expectations, figuring that if he thought I was worth it he'd tell her she couldn't stay with him anymore. He did, they're still friendly, and things have been great between us. If a guy can't honor reasonable requests about behavior/boundaries, they're telling you that you're not a priority and it's time to move on 🙂

[@xXCocoHimeXx]

I agree with this. The absolute mind blowiness of it all, jfc.

[@StephFish1004]

Story 2: "I don't want to cause you to end a 9 year friendship" Dump this guy. He likes the attention he's getting from the friend, and is already insinuating that it would be YOUR FAULT if the friendship ended. It's her that is ruining the friendship by being a creep, but he's just as bad by not shutting that shit down. If he hasn't cheated on OP with her yet, he will.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Yep. This exactly. Time to move on to better things and let these two wreck each other.

[@user-blob]

Second this.

[@lucariodx8344]

Didn't the bf ended it in the update?

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Two back to back stories of disrespectful friends and boyfriends. I hope both OPs move on and get what they deserve in a partner.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - Hate to tell OP, but she is wrong. Sticking 'by her side' would include not letting that witch into his house at all when she showed up at his doorstep AFTER he told her they were no longer friends. Why the hell did he let her in at all? Did he accept 'the little BS gifts' she brought? Oh honey, he's got the wool pulled over your eyes and next time won't even tell you when she stops by...

[@pReCiOuStHePiMpCeSs]

Lol 45 minutes giving a "sob story" lmao more like best friend and boyfriend have been hooking up and he's been trying to end it but she's not happy about it and he still decided to fuck her when she came over. Now he'll continue sleeping with her because she's "blackmailing" him🤣🤣

[@bantubrat343]

Facts

[@NottyAries]

Exactly! That sealed it for me. They're definitely creeping behind OPs back.

[@ladytrucker251]

I'm so glad you pointed that out. I was thinking after all that she shows up to his home for an hour? Really?

[@Sydney_With_A_Why]

When my Bf told me about the wedding invite my first question would have been "Oh yeah? How did she react when you told her that would be wildly inappropriate and disrespectful to your SO?"

[@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat]

“You know, I’m really sorry about guilting you into being my date. How about I make it up to you by going out on a date?” … and the boyfriend fell for that. What an idiot.

[@wimsylogic65]

Is he idiot or is he trying to get his cake And ice cream and eat it all.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 1: OP's boyfriend has shown where his loyalties lie and they aren't with her. She needs to cut him loose and find a man who will put her first guilt free. The boyfriend and the friend deserve each other.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2 (before update): The only thing you can do is cut her out of your life, she has gone far beyond the bounds of friendship. You are not losing a friend, she hasn't been your friend for a while.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yeah. That's an out and out enemy looking to maliciously destroy you and your relationship.

[@Zurround]

Its KARMA that all of the men in her life have treated her like crap. She has proven that she is a CRAP PERSON who deserves no better.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S2- To others the BF seems like a nice guy by saying, “ Please baby don’t get upset with her, I don’t want to be the reason you both stop being friends.” Really he needs OP to still be friends bc he still has “innocent” access to her, like hanging out and texting where it looks legit they are “just friends”.

[@NottyAries]

Yep.

[@ilovesports5468]

Story 3: it seems like the mother owned the house before she got with the dad and the half sister wasn’t entitled to it

[@KansasNotTheBand]

that's what i thought too. like, why else would it pass to OP and not the sister who's been living in it? why not to both of them? the only thing i could think was exactly what you said. edit: i went back and it doesn't _actually_ say who owned the house, but i now get the sense it was the dad's. it said the sister was paying rent to the dad until he died, and then to OP's mom/OP. it seems both parents died without a will, and iirc when that happens everything passes to next of kin, which is usually the spouse and then the kid(s). so that would mean ownership of the house passed to OP's mom. and when she also died without a will, it passed to OP as next of kin because her husband passed before her and OP is their mom's only child. the sister wouldn't have been in the line of inheritance from OP's mom without a will. either way, the sister wasn't automatically entitled to the house just because she'd been living there. OP might have even considered adding the sister to the deed if the sister hadn't specifically asked to be added "after the mortgage is paid". if she wants to own a home so badly, she could have (should have) been saving up these last 20 years. she was already paying way less in rent than market value, and now she's trying to get more for nothing. she could have asked to be added to the deed _and take over paying the mortgage instead of continuing to pay rent._ but she didn't do that. she expected the mortgage to be paid first. she could have asked OP if they could set up some kind of rent-to-own deal (idk if that's a thing with real estate but i know it's a thing with some things) where they take the rent she has already paid into account and consider it payment toward the cost of the house or something. idk, i feel like there's still some missing info but that's where i'm at with this now.

[@gamerraider889]

​@@KansasNotTheBandWhat gets me is how she's saying this when the rent covers the mortgage entirely, it's 500 a month. It's as if she doesn't even trust herself to pay rent.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: You don't have to go to a wedding with someone of the opposite sex -- it's not like animals going into the Ark. You can go alone, or with a same sex friend. Maybe in most cases it would be okay, but in this case, "friend" is definitely making a play for boyfriend. After update: boyfriend is getting sucked in. Which is not surprising, because he apparently didn't notice the red flag warning signs before the wedding request, either. I don't foresee OP's relationship lasting much longer.

[@Marina-uu2sz]

I'm sorry, but the Noah's Ark comment had me giggling. Valid point! I've gone to plenty of things with one of my girl friends as my plus one when I was single. It's so much more fun with a friend. I've been friends with my friend's partners, and I literally can NOT fathom asking one of them to be my plus one..so creepy! 😮

[@Good_Enough4]

I agree that you don't have to go to a wedding with someone of the opposite sex. My cousin, who was single at the time, took one of her female friends to my wedding. Granted she's bi, but the friend was also single lol.

[@paulastiles5507]

LOL! "Animals going into the Ark." I'm gonna steal that - with attribution, of course.

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@paulastiles5507 Enjoy, Paula. 😁

[@jjm152]

I've taken friends to weddings before, just not ones that weren't single. It's weird to take someone with a partner to the wedding, unless it's a situation like where the partner was invited and wasn't able to come so we just came together to hang out, not as a "date" or anything. The vibes from this situation are all wrong.

[@fizzydizzystudios4768]

I wanted a 2nd update to the first story and turns out it’s 10 years old, I hope everything turned out well for OP

[@robertx8020]

The 'pussing' girl disapeared the nextr day and was never seen again ..OP's was seen by her house and later in the woods by some ppl ..but the police didn't investigate. And when asked about the shotgun in her car, OP stated : "just wanted to feel if it fitted in the trunk of my car..btw don't mind the blood as that was mine" LOL

[@keyonwillis2191]

@@robertx8020 is this about the first OP

[@Janjones7735]

@@robertx8020😂

[@jennsyk7520]

Story 1, go get a male friend and start doing stuff with him a few times a week and see how the boyfriend reacts. If he doesn't like it, tell him you feel the same way.

[@l.b.9522]

My thoughts as well! she doesnt even have to have a real guy friend jsut someone she only meets out at a bar or something. See how he likes the tables turned on him.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

petty xD. I bet he would have a meltdown because they are just friends and op is doing it on purpose or sth

[@marcusgray2799]

Right. Do it to the extreme and have him spend the night too😊

[@heatheraucoin5832]

That can’t work because he met both girls at the same time. He would say “I don’t find this ok with you and this spending so much time together” BS. It would have to be a guy friend she grew up with that looked like Private Steve Rogers and now looks Capt. America but she still sees him as a brother figure but makes bf uncomfortable knowing she’s hanging around with a Chris Evans 😍type guy

[@IAmNotASuccubus]

I was JUST about to comment this. Give him a taste of his own medicine

[@MH-ku5kn]

Story 1... right off the bat, huge red flag that you’d be “spending the night alone” at your SISTERS wedding??!? Kinda don’t even need to finish the story.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Beyond inappropriate why is your boyfriend somebody else's date for a wedding is she that pathetic she can't get her own man she has to poach taken men

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

The biology term for this is "mate poaching."

[@Zurround]

@@AngryReptileKeeper is it really a biological instinct? I cannot figure out why in a world with 8 billion people someone would need their "mate" to be their best friend's boyfriend or siblings girlfriend etc? How is that even helpful in the animal world?

[@wimsylogic65]

​@@Zurround Yes it's done because it shows that that mate is worthy of being taken if someone else has him. Like another woman has already determined that this man is worth having, And since that woman has already given on the seal of approval. To some people that's like Alright he's all set He has everything to be the perfect guy. Because another woman determined it so. All I have to do is just take it from that woman and then I'm all set with the perfect guy. I think it's a kind of mindset. Usually even more so if the guy is a father. Because then it shows that he is fertile and can have kids. I know pretty ridiculous but that is really how some people work. Imagine it similar to the sick reasons why men go after Taken or pregnant women

[@kausha7135]

S1: The advice to just tolerate this woman because the boyfriend doesn't seem to reciprocate her feelings is literally the most "I'm a single 22 year old and have gained wisdom from my one serious past relationship" advice I've ever heard. Ladies, take it from a woman in her 30's who has had several relationships ranging from casual to live-in for years....do not play the cool girl. Do not tolerate disrespect. Do not put up with this friendship. You can never completely trust a man who does untrustworthy things. You can never say you respect yourself when you allow an inappropriate relationship to continue between him and another woman. The men worth being with don't want a cool girl. They want a grown woman with a clear vision and self-respect. Putting my foot down and demanding respect scared off a couple guys, but now I'm with an amazing man. He has his female friends but they respect our relationship and he has boundaries he'll never cross with them. I never need to worry about him and that is freeing.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - OP shouldn't have to feel bad because this relationship makes her upset. That girl is totally trying to get her BF away from her. Asking a 'guy friend' who already has a GF to a wedding takes some balls, asking him to an overnight stay and a wedding takes the whole bull! Here's hoping the BF really doesn't have feelings for this girl and walks away from her the minute she crosses a line. I wish OP luck with that.

[@hothotheat3000]

Going to a wedding together is sending a signal to people that you’re next down the aisle. That’s very inappropriate. She’s absolutely making a play for your boyfriend, OP. I wouldn’t dream of asking a man who is spoken for to go to a wedding with me. This is way across the line.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: This relationship is over. OP has zero self respect and she needs to get herself into therapy about it. And she needs to dump this artichoke.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, it is deeply inappropriate to invite a sexually compatible friend to be your date to a wedding if they are in a relationship. Story 1 (update): wait so he agrees it is inappropriate, then she flips out and his response isn't to break of the friendship? But instead to go on a date with her...Wow you have a problem, either your BF is already in a relationship with her too, or he is extremely naive and easily manipulated.

[@HinataElyonToph]

That’s what I was thinking . Honestly it sounds like it’s all just going over his head and he’s not comprehending any of it

[@LadyJoolree]

​@@HinataElyonTophHe's comprehending enough to get irritated with his girlfriend, while he's on a date with someone else to boot. He may act oblivious but deep down he knows what time it is, and he likes it. Man's in full monkey-branch mode!

[@madambutterfly1997]

Instead of trying to reassure you with empty words your boyfriend needs to show through action, he has zero interest in your friend. Edit: so he did the right thing he immediately cut ties with her after you did. However him getting manipulated by her tears of the huge problem it needs to get managed as soon as possible

[@panicwithcompulsion]

Honestly, I don't think he is being manipulated by her at the end. If you are cutting someone off for their disgusting actions, why would you invite them inside to chat? I would be slamming the door in their face or telling them to leave after taking my stuff back. He never intended on cutting her off :/ it was just a show to try to smooth things over so OP can't complain without being seen as unreasonable.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

He didn't cut ties with her, he only her he couldn't go go the wedding. The friendship continues.

[@AntiSoraXVI]

@@Nathan_Bookwurmyou’re thinking of story 1 and the commenter was referring to story 2

[@ergotempusvernum]

2. Op got a glimpse of why the ex friend is always having a hard time with boyfriends.

[@paulchaudoir190]

Here's a thought. What OP should do is pick one of her boyfriend's friends and go on a "friend date". One of his friends that she considers a friend to her. Let her boyfriend know that they are going to see a movie or something. If he objects and says that sounds like a date. Just remind him about the ice cream date he did with so and so. And just maybe he might finally agree with OP that they both need to talk about boundaries.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Make sure he's at least as attractive as the "friend". Let the bf see the mirror held up to the relationship.

[@One.DeSanctis.]

Petty. I love it.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Great idea. The relationship is probably ruined after that, but imo it's already ruined right now also 😂. Doesn't have to be his friends though, can be one of her own male friends too. From his male friends he'll know if they're the kind to cheat/respect his relationship. He won't know that when she goes on a date with one of her own male friends.

[@wpierce34004ever]

He'd get labeled "insecure" and shamed...so I guess she's insecure with what happened? If so shouldn't she be getting shamed?

[@One.DeSanctis.]

@wpierce34004ever what, specifically, is the shame causing scenario or behavior you are referring to?

[@colleens1107]

Story one: PSA, no one would invite someone else’s bf to a wedding and an overnight stay unless they are having an affair or WANT to have an affair. Common sense seems to becoming less and less common

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 3. My mom rented a house for 20 years. Her brother owned the house, and when he passed away, his daughter gave my mom the option to buy the house below market value. At no time did my mother exclaim that she had paid rent for 20 years, so she deserved to be placed on the deed. No tenant has that right. There were 5 years left on the mortgage, so my cousin did work out a deal with my mom. The house was valued at about $300,000 when my uncle passed away, and my mom paid about $160,000 in rent over the 20 years. So, my cousin told mom she would take half the total amount paid in rent ($80,000) and took it off the total purchase price, bringing it down to $220,000. Then my mom had about $100,000 in savings, so she took $50,000 and used that as a down payment. So, she only mortgaged $170,000. This all happened when mortgage rates were at an all-time low. So, her mortgage payment turned out to be $200 less a month than what she was paying in rent. The kindness my cousin showed my mom was wonderful because she didn't have to do any of that, and I could have just demanded my mom pay $300,000 for the house.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

That's really nice of your cousin. I think I would do the same in a similar position, if they're family. But only wheb it comes from me, not when they ask to be on the deed like in the story.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

That was generous of your cousin. In a way, the cousin is still making 220k without investing a dime, but at the same time, it's like your mom did a Lease To Own, so she wasn't completely screwed. (IE: paying the mortgage and then some for 29 years and then having to pay the entire 300k on top of it. Also, that YTA comment irritated me. Pulling the "what would your mother think if you didn't give someone else's child her house?" Like, excuse me? OP clearly stated it was her mother's house and that she is her mother's only child. Truth be told, that woman had a damn good deal! 40% of what the rent should be, with no late fees or penalties, in Los Angeles, for 20 years? Is she saying she was ONLY paying $875 a month(sometimes, but not every month), for 20 years, and still has nothing saved up? I don't even know how. By those numbers, that means she's at least 40 years old, she should be in the prime of her career or working years, building a retirement fund

[@tracicolvis7382]

Story 3: rent is not a lay-away plan. She wasn't living there bond for deed where she would own it in the end.

[@affsteak3530]

It sounds like the dad was tired of subsidizing his daughter's lifestyle by charging her such low rent while handling all the repairs himself. She's got some nerve demanding OP finish paying off the mortgage and give her the paid off house. She could have been saving the difference between her rent and market rate for 20 years and had over 100K by now.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1: It's the optics for me. Don't ask someone in a relationship to come as your wedding date. Don't humor them when they say you owe them for not going to said wedding. Don't go on an icecream date with them. Honestly either the boyfriend is terrible at boundaries or OP is being played.

[@HinataElyonToph]

Or he’s just that naive and doesn’t think she has ulterior motives

[@drea4195]

@@HinataElyonTophif this guy is genuinely that naive, he isn't ready to be in a serious relationship. Sadly, some people have to realize that the hard way.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Story 2: yo..this happened to me and I was a dumbass and believed my boyfriend of 2 years and my bestie actually cared about me. I literally caught them in bed together. Good luck!

[@greendiamondglow]

If you're too worried about being the "cool girl" to communicate how you're feeling in your relationship- ESPECIALLY after 2 years- then there are bigger problems in your relationship. The heifer is just exposing them. Honestly, HIS interest in her is a bit less important here than the friends' interest in HIM. If I was friends with someone who CLEARLY had feelings for me that I didn't return, and the friendship made my SO uncomfortable, I'd cut off the friendship. A friend who I'm only recently getting close with is not worth losing my stable, loving relationship over. OP should consider that. And so should the person advising her not to be overcome by jealousy over the woman who is blatantly trying to move in on her man.

[@chamab.6800]

Story 2: despite what she may think her man ain’t strong in their relationship. He’s choosing her because he doesn’t want to look like an asshole.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Yeah, so I'm gonna need ALLL the updates on Story 1 please!

[@gordybrown3667]

It's a 9 year old post, so is the second post

[@yusuka4ev830]

​@@gordybrown3667Damn it!

[@Swnsasy]

Oh hell no! That is an absolute overstep, BIG TIME! For the boyfriend to actually be ok with this is actually the biggest red flag to me.. There is no, ABSOLUTELY ZERO chance I would be ok with this and I know my husband wouldn't even say yes because it's a massive boundary stomp! We spend the night together and have fun? That just pissed my off!

[@LordBison98]

Story 1: She is trying to lead OP's bf away and bf is letting this happen. He is either really dense or he loves the attention.

[@macylouwho1187]

My thoughts on that first story is this is exactly how 99% of “friends” sleeping together and cheating on partners starts. That chick is into him, and he’s not shutting down the obvious. OP needs to ask herself why. The answer should be pretty obvious. That last commenter is exactly the sort who someone could really get the drop on him/her by cheating because that person blindly trusts when the people are literally being untrustworthy. That is the sort of person who does not want to know and would rather stick their head in the sand than face the truth. The truth is that he likes the attention of more than one female, and he spends too much time with her without anyone around while she’s totally and obviously throwing herself at him. Only a fool wouldn’t see that. He’s no fool, he knows and loves it. He’s eating it up like candy and gets p-ssed when his girlfriend tries to put a damper on his fun time with another hot chick who wants him so bad she can taste it and would gladly do so😛😂

[@nilianstroy]

Story 3... she was living there for 20 years, but waited for op mother to die to ask for her name on the deed, why didn't she speak about house ownership when op mother was alive?

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

Story 2: the BF should have instantly blocked her, I’m still expecting him to want to be her sugar baby, plus 45 minutes? Idk, he’s still acting sketchy

[@Dan_Hazard]

Of course he doesn't want them to stop being friends, he gets these bad ass gifts 😅

[@pezchef7577]

story 2: irony is. bff has 'bad luck with men'. yet, she is willing to turn, what she sees as a good safe guy, into somebody that would be emotional sus to their partner. if not ambiguously immoral. weirdo she is

[@wimsylogic65]

The reason why she has bad luck with men is probably not the men, it's her. She's the only common denominator between them all. And based on how she reacted with someone else's boyfriend. I think it's pretty obvious that she's the problem in all her relationships.

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

Ooo. The title. Also, I am drawing my D&D party right now (The Dead characters are ghosts in the background and in the front is their current characters).

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Fun

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: I so far have not gotten past the title, and I can already say that it is not appropriate. If he goes with her, as her date, then that is also not appropriate, and it is a deal-breaker. Let them have each other, and you will heal, and find someone who will not do that to you. Just by asking him, she is NOT your friend. Edit: After reading/listening to the entire story, I would really like an update, OP. Thank you in advance.

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: uh, wtf. What is she thinking asking someone’s BOYFRIEND to be her date? Wtf. Of course he should have said no immediately. I’m flabbergasted. OP definitely would be within her rights to say no herself immediately and then follow up with a “wtf were you thinking?!”

[@Grimangell135]

Story 1: I can see this chick's game a mile away. She's slowly introducing the little things OP's bf and her do together as innocent, then ramps it up. Her language is not to get the bf, its to drive OP mad which is working. OP needs to wise up and do what the person said about the thoughts. The girl WANTS OP to freak out so she looks sane and innocent. This chick is poison and if the bf doesnt figure it out, OP is better off without that weakling.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Story 1: If he wants to go, he probably shouldn’t be your boyfriend.

[@crawdaddy2004]

Story 1: I’m 48 seconds in, and my brain is already “Like, WTF? They hang out a ‘few times a week’?”

[@taylorslade961]

Story 3: Don't do it. She'll have legal sway and could potentially screw OP over. Halfsis sounds manipulative and selfish. OP needs to protect themselves.

[@Luve2020]

Story one: nooope. That would not be a thing with a partner I was with

[@bmarie1001]

Stories 1 and 2 there's very little either gf can do. The BFs have to set those boundaries, and its a reason they won't.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: It's the fact that she specifically said "date" that sets off red flags in this specific instance. You can go to weddings with friends, it happens, we've read/heard stories like that, but her specifically saying he'd be her date is where it's a "hell no"

[@MizuSky]

The first two stories had me so heated, I tried to find further updates because i felt i needed more closure 😂 They're so old sadly, but man, the rage ache in my chest is real.

[@shananagar1601]

Love that you add the user name to the story time stamp 💛

[@lisac.4558]

Renting 20yrs doesn't equal ownership

[@chamab.6800]

Story 3: just because she paid rent for 20 years doesn’t mean anything. OP isn’t obligated. Why wasn’t it on her to go through probate etc? If mom/dad had wanted her to have anything they would’ve done the paperwork. Even if is just luck of the draw, she still isn’t owed. Hell, she’s had crazy cheap rent for 20 years. She could’ve easily saved for her own house. Was she waiting for folks to die thinking she’d get a piece?

[@grungekitty77]

Well there is a lot of wiggle room in that story. We don't actually know what tone she used when she asked, she asked only the one time so far, and OP did describe it as asking. It could've just been a respectful request she was ready to accept a no for. Which wouldn't make her entitled, just shooting her shot. But, there's plenty of room for it to have been a demand she assumed would be complied with and her to not plan on letting it go. Which would be massively entitled. It's hard to say really. OP didn't include a whole lot of info. There could be a few things OP wants to hide in those gaps, or there's nothing and OP just didn't feel the need to comment on nothing. I wouldn't feel comfortable putting money on either option.

[@ynmonroe]

Exactly! If paying rent for decades equaled automatic home ownership, we wouldn't have the housing and rental crises that exists today. This house is OP's inheritance. End of story. The half-sis wasn't even OP's mom's, who was the home owner, daughter. Her wants don't matter. And OP needs to stop being a pushover. I don't even know how she gave this request serious consideration. I mean her own father didn't even suggest this before his death.

[@ausnerl4355]

I’m sorry but paying for 20 years means a whole lot. If you do the math $850 for 12 months is $10,200 times that by 20 years $204,000 if that’s not the price of the home it’s damn near close to it. Did OP say that she did anything to pay for the home or was it just willed to her? I would say to myself as a homeowner that has tenants that if I didn’t do anything to get this home but be born and this person has been paying the mortgage why not give it to them.

[@robertx8020]

@@ausnerl4355 That's not how rent works If that was the case then anyone who would be renting for a long time should be getting the house! And depending where OP lives, $200000 might not even be half of the cost of the house ..where I live you can't even but a house for 200000

[@ausnerl4355]

@@robertx8020 the main difference is that she was renting from her father not some random person who know what they may have discussed. OP has played no part in the mortgage until she was willed it. And the fact that she had been paying for 20 years could be one of the reason that the property even still exists. And the only reason as per OP post on Reddit that she got the house was because the father didn’t have a will and it went to her mother that hated the sister. It was the luck of the draw. OP knows that fact also so no. The house was purchased in the 80’s. The sister is 65 and the OP is 38 with 3 other properties that she received from her mother’s estate. The sister didn’t get anything because the stepmother (OP mom) didn’t like her and didn’t have a will herself

[@Silence-1170]

Hi waffles hope you are all doing well! Stay Safe and Stay positive waffles!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜

[@Starvingmetheartist]

Thank goodness, I was just falling asleep at my desk (super quiet day at work)

[@Bkgksan625]

Story 1: BF needs to learn what boundaries are. He is wrong. OP is not crazy.

[@jancatperson8329]

Story 1: Of course it’s inappropriate to ask someone else’s boyfriend as your date to an out-of-town wedding. But all OP can really do is say, “Hey, I’m uncomfortable with this. I think she’s into you and is trying to replace me as your girlfriend.” After that it’s up to him. If she CAN steal him, it’s because he’s willing to be stolen, and if that’s the case, OP deserves better and should let him go.

[@NottyAries]

Story 2: why the hell would a sig other take such a significant gift from the "friend" of their partner? That's inappropriate and problematic. ETA: She went to his house and he LET her stay for 45 minutes?!? Maybe I'm built different but I couldn't possibly be cool with how both the boyfriend and ex-friend have acted.

[@buffysheffield1328]

Holy crying out loud! Just because you pay rent does not mean that you’re entitled to ownership, unless you have a rent to own agreement in writing! It’s rent, not a mortgage payment. Doesn’t matter if it’s 20 years or 2. Listen to your father. She took advantage of his kindness because family. She’s going to do the same thing to you. Do not let her. Your dad would be proud of you for standing up to her and saying no. Then give her until the end of her current lease until you raise the rent to market value. Stop the abuse, and yes it is abuse. She abused your dad by not paying properly for how many years? Expecting him to just eat the cost and be happy to do so. Not okay.

[@selfaware3940]

If my partner told me that she was going to a wedding as a plus to another guy, I would not argue or really say anything but I would go on a date with another woman after and just brush off her comments with something like "oh lets just pretend its a wedding..." As soon as she suggests going to a wedding with another guy as his "plus one" I would be done to be honest.

[@dragonrider1549]

Final story - I wanted to reach through the monitor and slap that last commenter. Sounds like someone who was burned by a landlord and now hates all landlords. Sorry but paying rent doesn’t mean you get to own the house. There is far more to home ownership than the internet likes to give credit for. No I’m not a landlord myself and am in fact a renter myself. They are providing a service that I am paying for, simple as that.

[@sequoyasierra5671]

BEST FRIEND CRUSH The friend is not a friend. However, the boyfriend telling OP he doesn't want her to lose a 9-year friend to sounds like he has a vested interest in keeping the friend around. ,Lose the friend, she doesn't care about OP at all. This is massive disrespect on the friend's part toward OP and is a clear indication of what the friend really thinks of OP. If the boyfriend jumped the friend would not hesitate to betray OP. Anybody who would betray anyone for their own best interest in a matter such as this, is not a friend at all.

[@jolteon345]

Story 1 I already knew was a problem is that it’s clearly as a DATE. Why can’t she invite a close friend? Why does her parents liking him matter? She clearly wants him, and what’s worse is that he can’t see how screwed up the relationship with that friend is. If she ACTUALLY felt bad then she’d let things cool off and apologize to OP, not going “Ohhhh let me get you ice cream”

[@nathansheldahl]

He knows. He may pretend not to know or hopes it’s not true for some reason, but I guarantee he knows deep down what she wants.

[@gailwarnock2764]

She won't be alone it's a family wedding .

[@KADDIE101]

Stories like these make me glad my friends and I have different taste in guys :-)

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: it is scary how this woman latches on a man _just_ because he is nice to her even if he is taken by her best friend no less. Let alone steal her gift idea for him It’s also scary that the guy doesn’t seem to think “why is this chick my partner’s friends with giving me such an expensive gift?” Like I would question the heck out of that and not claim my partner for “overreacting” for their very valid feelings. It’s also sad that she chooses men that would hurt her over and over to the point that it is “in love” worthy when men show her basic common decency and respect. Maybe she needs to get new preferences for dating and the same type of guy isn’t going to be there.

[@ameliahill8273]

My god the 'friend' needs to be put in her god damn place.

[@slick8086]

Story 2: OP need to get her BF Christmas themed lingerie for Christmas, something that only people in relationships can gift each other. She needs to show him that she trusts HIM even if she doesn't trust HER.

[@marcusgray2799]

Right

[@capucinecocquyt6142]

Hi Mark, I'm mostly a lurker but these days I'm going through Covid with quite heavy symptoms and I cannot seem to be able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time. Anyway, just wanted to thank you so very much, your video keep me company during long nights of insomnia and pain. You're the best!

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Hope you make a quick recovery 😟 covid really sux.

[@capucinecocquyt6142]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm thank you that's really sweet!

[@fufuden5078]

1st story: as the GF, I would have a male friend over when BF comes home. Then tell BF that male friend and her were going to get ice cream and leave. When returning home ask him if it felt good being placed second to someone who is not the significant other. In truth, she need to pack up and leave as it would only be a matter of time before he dumps her for his female bestie.

[@gailwarnock2764]

That inappropriate tell him no . That girl is not to be trusted and she needs to find someone else . Also he is spending to much time with her as well he needs to get away from her .

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@owl7072]

The speed of which your comments appear is astonishing, and I love seeing them every time.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@owl7072 yeah sometimes I'm fast when clicking the notif

[@owl7072]

​@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 I clicked quick too, and it was a delight to see you had already sent your usual comments

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@owl7072 🤗🤗💜💜

[@thebeebz9511]

say it with me kids: THERE IS NO POT OF GOLD AT THE END OF THE 'COOL GF' RAINBOW

[@LovesGaming37]

Story two: oh the bf will fall for the ex friend's games and will cheat

[@kecward78]

Story 1: Either BF has NOT set clear boundaries w/ the 'friend' or he wants the attention/side chick. Her actions and comments are blatantly over the line, yet he ignores them. Either he's a really naive m-fer or he's already cheating. Story 3: The sis is a HALF-sis. They do NOT share moms. That's why the property went to OP. OP should let half-sis the rent will go up to market value in ONE YEAR. A renter is not 'owed' the property after living there for 20 years and sounds like she took full 'family' discounts to an extreme.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Uh yeah. She is trying to worm her way into the boyfriend’s pants. Who takes someone else’s boyfriend to a wedding? And then demands he “makes it up” to her when he said no? Fuck nah. He needs to take a step back.

[@shananagar1601]

Story 2: if the friend gets the bf most likely she’ll just let her past trauma and the fact he left someone/cheated and the relationship will be as volatile as her others

[@Nita____]

S1: What's wrong with that guy? Why can't he tell that girl, I can't, I am in a relationship. Friendship is one thing, but if he is in a serious relationship his partner's feelings comes first and vice versa. Or did I miss something? Is going as a date with a friend while in a relationship with someone else the cool norm now? S2: That's not a best friend or a friend.

[@keijogirl]

Story 1: I hope they talk calmly and tell him that he needs to cool it with hanging with her for a while so their relationship can heal from friend’s advances/inappropriateness. Story 2: It sounds like dude is being fought over. If he has any kind of respect he shouldn’t be making his SO feel like she has to fight. That chick’s no longer a friend and she’s doing the same crappy thing she always does just now at OPs bf.

[@michealwatts7469]

Story 1: she did the right thing in telling him she was uncomfy and he clearly cared for her feelings to tell the friend “No”. She isnt right to assume that every interaction is A her intention to get with him, and B needs to he monitored as if he cant handle himself. He already showed his hand in how much he put her feelings above his friends. So she needs to workout her own paranoia and not control his friendships. Story 2: Boyfriend did the right thing. And while friend of OP is trash, Im skeptical of OP on “Hes easy to manipulate” ah… I see how would you know that exactly? Cry a few tears when you were wrong on something or wanted something?

[@lalvarez5151]

Last story- NTA. Op owes the step sis nothing. Its her inheritance.

[@notconvincedgranny6573]

Last commenter: if you're renting an apartment, you're paying the owner's bills - they are NOT going to give you an ownership stake. Half azz already got mega-discounted rent, especially for California, for 20 years. Users always cry "but faaaaamily" - place the property with a property management company, raise the rent and tell her she's grandfathered in, but the property management company will collect rent on time, every month, and have the authority to evict. It will be worth the price of the service.

[@godzillakungfu]

Did anyone catch that “this always happen” or did the last terrible commenter miss that important information? The Boyfriend and this girl weren’t old friends, they all met roughly at the same time. OP started dating boyfriend and then boyfriend met the girl. This isn’t like a childhood or even college friend he met before dating his girl. That last comment was terrible.

[@LisaApril]

story one: This is the type of boyfriend you don't want to be with. You're not his priority and he doesn't have the same values you do about how to treat their significant other and what kind of boundaries they would put up around friends. This is not a good man. You'd be better off without him.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Let her have him. He's putting her above you and you're supposed to be his SO. It's time to end this farce and find someone who knows what the words boundary means. She'll get bored of him once she has him I gurantee. Just block him and move on. S2) This isn't a friend and if he wants to stay with you *he* needs to be the one to shut her down. *He* needs to tell her to not spend that money cause it's inappropriate and to stand strong on no contact. Cut her out and if he takes this present be done with him as well. S3) Its your property. You're allowed to do with it whatever you want. As long as your giving her proper notice your fine.

[@johnbradbury8610]

story 3, Op is a dumbass, she doesn't like her sister and she knows her sister is lying and was a bad tenet, just because you ay rent doesn't mean you get the house when its paid off.

[@gamerraider889]

For story three, I disagree with the person who said OP was the AH. Just because she's "paid" for twenty years doesn't mean she's paid consistently. OP mentioned that their dad had to pay for her multiple months to maintain the mortgage because she was irresponsible with her money and went on vacation, and also how she lied about doing repairs on the house prior to the rent increase according to OP. I have a sneaky suspicion what she did wasn't repairs and was more akin to replacing a fuse or lightbulb, even a window screen. Not replacing a hot water heater, or a pipe, or a broken wall, etc, etc... I've seen people do this before personally, and when they get stuck in a situation where they have to actually repair something they don't know how to do it. I think OP is strongly NTA as his concerns have legitimacy because if she doesn't keep her word there can be detrimental consequences, and alongside that I think OP would mention if his mother requested for him to give his half-sister the house. I don't want to be mean and assume she's manipulative, but she certainly doesn't sound exactly upfront about it when the first thing she says is for him to sign her on the deed AFTER the mortgage is paid. Like the other redditor said, it's as if she wants all the upsides of homeownership without all of the risk.

[@JBTFan124]

Nope nope nope. Who the fuck invites a "friend" to a wedding as a date. 2 years?

[@spongebobonmolly]

i don’t understand why people even insist on staying friends with people who clearly have feelings for them while they’re in a relationship; that would make me so uncomfortable

[@starlingswallow]

Main question: YES. It's inappropriate. Should have put your foot down, say you aren't ok with it. Your boyfriend is a JERK for accepting the invite. You're being a doormat. 😢 Gather your self worth and self love, set some boundaries and walk away from ANYONE who refuses to respect you, _even if_ it's your boyfriend. ❤

[@starlingswallow]

Yeah, she's after your man and he is not helping by entertaining ANY time with her. He doesn't seem to think you're important enough to protect your feelings. 😢

[@Yeahno-ey3rb]

Story 1 and 2: Both OPs' boyfriends should have blocked and cut out those friends, end of story.

[@identicalbear5684]

I really want an update on story 1

[@Mia-dt3gl]

I swear these women think they’re in a romcom and that romcom logic applies to reality.

[@Loveeleven10]

Story 1 - OP's bf is the ah. He is going to cheat if he hasn't already and OP is getting strung along like an idiot.

[@rickraber1249]

The second story is quite simple: OP's "friend" has a problem with screwed up men, so when she saw OP's guy was a good one, she decided to move in on him. Apparently having a guy was more important than a 9 yr. friendship - which tells you something. People like her should come with a warning label. OP needs to gently explain to her boyfriend that being so easily manipulated and soft-hearted could cause his problems in all kinds of relationships in his life - business, family, friends, etc., and that it's okay and healthy to put up solid, HEALTHY boundaries. Best to both of you; too bad for Miss Man-Stealer.