I Don't Like The Relationship Between Husband And His "Work Wife" r/Relationships

[@katiecakesl4691]

So story 1: He hid the kiss, continued to be friends with a woman he knows is very into him, allowed her to trash his wife multiple times, and then claimed it was all because of a dead cousin? No...he was cheating and he knows it.

[@LololoriShow]

Yup tapping dat🍑

[@Wildpeonies23]

Exactly, did he like like his cousin as well…

[@small_joys2022]

Forget engineering, the husband deserves a special degree in gaslighting. 😂😂😂

[@boogitywoogity248]

I disagree but only cuz they uncovered a ton of evidence, she saw the work video and it backed up hubbies version of events. I think he did plenty wrong, but I do believe his cousin story, he likely never dealt with the trauma and then having her back made her so important to him that he legit was just rug sweeping her behavior forever, “what my wife doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her.” I think he likely only didn’t cheat because it felt like incest honestly, I think he pushed her away so aggressively because he was using her as a cousin insert.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1: the husband DID lower himself to work-wife's "level." He was in denial. Or was complicit. Neither are good. No excuse to cut down others if you were bullied. Immature

[@cisio64123]

Exactly in not standing up for his actual wife against his "work wife" ( disgusting tag that shouldn't exist ) he was allowing her to trash his wife and therefor became complicit in it. I do think he did ultimately understand that HE should have stood up for OP when she broke down about how when he didn't step up to defend her he seemed to be agreeing with the " work wife" . He later admitted that he WAS wrong to have allowed it and it won't happen again. Still don't like him though and think OP should dump his sorry behind because no one who truly loves their spouse allows that kind of behavior from anyone towards them.

[@groofromtheup5719]

It would have absolutely turned physical if allowed to continue. This one is very borderline about salvaging the marriage. If there are ANY other problems, I'd probably divorce, and maybe even if not, get a post-nup.

[@fytrndm]

Yup. I don't know any of my friends that wouldn't tell someone to knock it off if they're saying something along the lines what OP's husband had laughed along with. Then again, I'm friends with sensible people who doesn't tolerate these crap or dress it up as being "classy" when there's absolutely nothing classy over it.

[@andysixxstalkerangeloftrag5833]

So her husband laughed when this little girl threw an elementary school insult but this grown child's own partner stood up for this woman? Hm. Sounds like they need to switch partners. The op's reaction to the messages and seeming to doubt herself makes me want to hug her.

[@LunaP1]

Agreed. I'd give OP a list of divorce lawyers.

[@elizagaskell7957]

LOL I thought the same thing AndySixxStalker

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

How big are your logs

[@Starfish-gp8vq]

Today there was another update from story 1. The op is thinking about leaving her husband. She doesn’t feel any connection to her husband anymore. And he admitted in a therapy that he can relate more to the work wife

[@DominicanaChika]

Can someone link it? I need to read it!!

[@coureenlawrence4915]

I was thinking the same thing when he started talking back to the work wife because he felt sorry for her. He doesn't love his wife.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

The last update: using his trauma to manipulate the OP. It doesn't excuse the way the husband talked about the OP and just allowed his fling talk about the Op

[@immapotato1]

I don't buy his crap. he probably thought of using the cousin when he was rummaging for excuses.

[@xplayfan21]

Yeah here we go believe all women do not believe any man at all I'm tired of this horse crap

[@colleens1107]

Have EITHER of you ever lost someone to suicide? This is an extremely traumatizing way to lose a person. Grow some compassion. Yes he’s wrong for his actions but dont be so dismissive of trauma.

[@susankaempfer8427]

@@colleens1107I don’t think anyone is minimizing the trauma of losing someone to suicide. The problem is it feels like he’s using that trauma as a manipulation tactic and for pity points.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@colleens1107 There are many people who have lost someone to suicide, who do NOT cheat on their partners.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Story one: work "spouses" are extremely inappropriate and disrespectful for the real spouses

[@maggpiprime954]

It's so weird to me!

[@sweetluvgurl]

I thought I was the odd one out on that thinking, and some people even explain what it means, which even proves it’s inappropriate imo. People say it means someone the person is around a lot at work and who they are so close with, and get along so well with, they could be seen as a couple. That’s literally emotional cheating. So, anyone rationalizing that stuff needs to check their boundaries.

[@woman_of_mayhem]

I would be very very upset if my husband had a work wife. Ops “work wife” has over stepped by far. Ops husband is crap bag. If I seen them messages I’d be out.

[@jaybea365]

They are, however, perfectly fine if you are both single

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

@@sweetluvgurl tbh I thought I was as well lol It's weird and creepy and why do you need a "work wife"? I personally have friends at work, some happen to be men and some happen to be women but that's as far as the relationship goes. just friends, and barely even that.

[@Germania72]

Story 1: It must have been her who kissed him first, but then, he kept it secret and allowed his colleague to treat his wife like rubbish. My instinct tells me there was an emotional affair there and he's using the cousin as an excuse for his behaviour. If she wants to salvage this, they need to go to couples therapy. He got it way easy.

[@bredaisy4001]

But if she kissed him, he would stay away from her, not go on a couples trip and ignore his wife on the trip.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@bredaisy4001 Unless he liked it and is a spineless, honorless *worm.*

[@drakedragon4572]

Yeah, cant believe op is so gullible

[@MaryTheresa1986]

@@drakedragon4572 Looks like she'll have to learn the hard way. 😔😔

[@robertx8020]

@@bredaisy4001 It was recorded ..I bet it was easy to see who kissed who!

[@BohemianScandalous]

Story One update: congrats bf, you enabled this work friend to bully your wife purely based on your friend’s insecurities. That girl doesn’t need protection from you, your wife needed you to stand up for her and create clear boundaries instead of stringing this girl along. if you truly care about either of them you should have gotten in contact with the husband and tell him that his wife needs needs therapy.

[@jojoa694]

Remember it’s not just a BF, it’s her husband. What a POS.

[@robertbishop5158]

Everyone except the co worker BF OP's husband needs to Run very fast Do not pass go get the hell out of jail Now. He's never going to get a better opportunity. The way the wife is writing the post she's bonkers. Seriously I would Jump overboard without a life vest. She's become a mental case. Who the hell is jealous of Kim Kardashian, their is Nothing real about that tramp.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah what his dead cousin has to do with his blatant disrespect for his wife is beyond me

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

@@jakemarie828 She looked like his late cousin and he lost his mind in recreating work friend as his late cousin. He needs therapy to get over that. WF hit a nerve by saying she thought of suicide and it triggered him so he was doing whatever made her comfortable including letting her mock his wife.

[@jakemarie828]

@@Mew_Mokuba_Akari mhm I heard the same story you did. His grief was his excuse, and it was both non sequitur and not enough. If beloved cousin had been alive and had said those things herself, would the disrespect be acceptable? No of course not, so it makes no sense in death either. I say again, why he thinks this will assuage his wife's fears is beyond me because he is basically saying "when I am in distress, I will throw you under the bus to feel safe instead of going to you as a partner." The whole thing is gross. People with no integrity shouldn't get married.

[@Mimikinn]

As someone who was bullied terribly as a child, I am so sick of these grown ass adults using their bullied pasts to justify mistreating others now. Especially when these people had nothing to do with your own trauma. Knock it off and grow up already.

[@kolonarulez5222]

Whoa I remember one time a guy tried to call me "work wife" and I shut that down immediately. I couldn't believe my (older) coworkers who couldn't understand how inappropriate the term is.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Older people have been using that term forever. It’s not a new thing unfortunately

[@pelgervampireduck]

@@amberleeannalee1999 that surprises me. to me is a new thing that I never heard before starting to listen to these stories in the last two years. I never heard of it in movies or in reality. it's a shocking and confusing concept. (and very uncomfortable). is it really a thing?. why would you call a coworker a "work wife" or "work husband" instead of just "coworker" or "friend"???. that's insane. I'm really surprised this is a thing, and I thought it was a new trend invented in the last couple of years.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It requires a ton of skill and talent to be a beautician. It's not the same type of intellect involved in being a neurosurgeon, but a special type of brains is required. You have a husband problem. He should never let her or anyone talk badly about you. You are doing very very well for yourself. Almost 6 figures.

[@brigidtheirish]

My paternal grandpa once told me about his favorite mechanic at the local shop. Guy couldn't read and would probably score rather low on an IQ test, but he just had to *glance* at an engine to know what was wrong with it. More recently, my brother-in-law worked with a man who couldn't *count.* He didn't need to. Whoever long he cut a piece of lumber or metal pipe was always *exactly* how long it needed to be. It baffled my brother-in-law, but he tested it in various ways and, sure enough, this guy could eyeball *any* measurement. Intelligence manifests in many different ways.

[@carlrood4457]

Not only that, she's self employed. That means things like accounting, taxes, inventory, etc. She's a business owner.

[@robertx8020]

Besides, unless you have proven that you can't do any better, being in a certain job doesn't mean you can't do any better. I remember a story on one of these channels of a man working a very low paying job when he used to work a very high paying job Think of CEO lvl ..but his wife cheated on him so he got a divorce and the law being the stupid law it sometimes is, she still got 'rewarded' so she could choose between half his possesions OR 25% of his income 'forever' so she picked the latter (they were still in their 30sh and she though that was a very good deal .. then he quit his job and took the low paying job and still enjoying his wealth!

[@brigidtheirish]

@@robertx8020 And probably a lot less stress!

[@MomokoTuHarumaki]

Also cosmetology licenses are intensive to get. You have to be able to know how to safely dye, bleach, and perm hair for different hair types, which requires knowing a lot of different measurements and techniques.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 1: The fact that OP's partner failed to mention the kiss to her when it happened, even if he didn't kiss back, and then continued to interact with the work wife should be enough to torpedo OP's trust in him. If OP is truly intelligent she'll kick him to the curb, homeless and jobless! Secrets secrets are no fun Secrets secrets hurt someone

[@GrayTimber]

Story 1; okay... but what about the way he talked about wife in messages and how he allowed her to disrespect his wife? I'm sorry, the disrespect would have ended it for me

[@carolroberts4614]

He skated over this,and using the cousin as an excuse was a dirty trick! He will carry on seeing this girl.

[@ginathecookie]

@@carolroberts4614 idk It could be a real excuse In which case he needs to work on his issues The work wife is toxic in so many ways and he is enabling it

[@kaitohkid7229]

He lifes at her house...

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

I hope whoever came up with the term Work Wife/Husband phone charges only at a certain angle

[@sadtitties222]

Oh, now THAT is evil. 🤣 I love you for this comment! 😁

[@lucialovecraft]

Good I really detest this attitude that, if someone is a trained beautician, they’re automatically stupid and shallow. I done a course on beauty therapy and know a great deal about human anatomy and chemistry/biology. It’s absolutely ignorant to think we talk about some celebrities that, most of us, don’t even care or talk about. I love making people feel good in their own skin, it makes me happy.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Hell cops get less training than beauticians.

[@jennilynne1977]

I wanted to be a cosmetologist. I just wasn't able to get enough practical stuff in my books (mainly because the beauty school didn't put them in my books) in order to get my certificate from the state.

[@CanonSkyrissian]

I went to a cosmetologist once years ago and just that one experience told me that this is a job that requires preciseness and thorough knowledge of human skin and its different types and how to treat each type as it should. I also chatted with the woman who was treating me and she was one of the smartest, most sophisticated people I've met to the date. it's absolutely not a job for stupid and shallow people

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

They are men, and they are Americans. Any trade that is mostly done by women is seen as 'silly' and not needing any study, or qualifications, or brains.

[@alexandrina5127]

She knows the beautician wife is smart, she says those stuff to devalue her

[@mandyj2809]

Story 1: Real ironic that work wife hated OP because she “looked like she could be a bully” so decided to bully her. Also ironic that a husband knew what something like bullying leads to because of his cousin, and also proceeded to enable and participate in bullying his wife.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: Simple. Don’t refer to people as your “work wife/husband”. Don’t presume people who you’ve never spoken to is so one dimensional that they can only talk about one thing. Don’t be such a pushover that when people mock your SO or even your friends that you laugh and agree with them, stand up for them. Story 1 Update: He doesn’t even own up to his part in all of this. And even if she kissed him, he hid it for all this time. And then when asked if they had feelings for each other, he lied and said no. Story 2: Did is so sad for those kids. Taken in by an aunt who just wants to pawn them off to someone else. If she took them in thinking it was temporary, she’s probably going resent them. And having your parent/guardian resent you will mess you up.

[@binary0118]

So, by Ops husband logic, he wanted to marry his cousin?

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@binary0118 i think it’s some weird psychological stuff. Like how people who have weird relationships with their dad end up wanting older men to fill that void.

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

The title of "wife" and "husband" should be for spouses ONLY. Sick of this "work wife" or "work husband" crap, so disloyal. Feels like it will lead to emotions affairs, which then go all the way

[@cisio64123]

@@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets I think that is the whole point of the titles as it indicates a work relationship that has crossed boundaries into inappropriate territory.

[@ondank]

I mean if two people are single and want to call each other work wife and husband thats A-ok. But in any other circumstance it feels more like a pejorative term that others would use to describe two people who have gotten far too close.

[@TheIronwil]

Story 2: Stories like this just enrage me. The aunt wants to sit on her high horse about this being OP's and her husband's responsibility - when they never even met the children or knew her husband was listed as their next guardian. She wants to talk about family responsibility, then she can keep those kids herself. Saying he's heartless or whatever is just cheap. There are tons of needy children in the world. Are we going to randomly select people who are blood-related to make responsible for them? No, because that's insane.

[@wickedwillis5611]

Agree totally also wonder why they have not tried to see if any of the kids mothers family would be willing to take the children in

[@cisio64123]

That's the whole point ....the aunt doesn't want them either, this is why she is being so aggressive about OP and her husband taking them. She's trying to use any trick she can to get rid of the children even if it means foisting them on their half brother who has every reason to be resentful of having to care for them .

[@TheIronwil]

@@cisio64123 Oh I know. Her histrionics were just a smoke screen to offload responsibility for those kids. She likely brings up the father willing the kids to OP as a cheap attempt to validate her hypocrisy.

[@OmniscientlyMe]

Yeah, so she wants to give the kids to heartless people, or she's heartless herself for trying to get rid of them.

[@zachf748]

Doesn’t even matter if they’re cheating… the complete lack of respect is enough to end it. Their behavior and text logs are atrocious.

[@SailorMya]

The husband in story one is the worst! He has a super sad story about his cousin being bullied to the point of no return and then transferred those unresolved emotions to his coworker essentially putting her on that same pedestal of "can do no wrong"... This is why he kept turning a blind eye to EVERYTHING she did. He couldn't even see that the bullied became the bully the first chance she got to get "revenge" on ANYONE who resembled her own tormenters! When you look at it that way she is putting his WIFE down just like how his cousins bullies (and her own) did and he is doing exactly what he did before his cousin passed... Nothing... If anything he was adding to it... His texts talking behind her back is the biggest betrayal... How can he not see that "petty/jealous girl" drama as bullying or that talking bad behind one persons back to make another person feel better is disgusting. Now she has to live knowing what he really thinks of her, her profession, and him thinking her "dumb" for it...

[@x1tekja]

Umm yeah.. sums it up pretty well. If she wouldn't have talked to other bf this would have been a full blown affair with sexting and hotel visits before long. As it stands a betrayal of trust and contemptible disrespect of his own wife and the other parties SO. Not a good look.

[@roelthas]

OP would be a fool if she stays with that trash of a "husband."

[@crazypyp5871]

Why do people call coworkers they’re close to work spouses. It seems very odd and disrespectful to their partners. Why can’t it just be work friends? Just call them work friends you don’t have to make yourself “work married.”

[@traetrae11]

I don't understand that either. I've had plenty of work friends of both genders but I would never call any of them a work husband, ever. I also would shut it down if they ever tried to call me a work wife. It a solid no for me.

[@cisio64123]

The whole term really is just code for co workers who have crossed boundaries into an emotional affair...at least. It is disrespectful to the real spouses because the behavior itself is disrespectful.

[@Veep989]

This is why its always important to tell the full truth up front rather than letting your SO find out on their own or from someone else. Leaving out important details, like someone other than your partner kissing you, is almost like an admission of guilt of sorts. Your case will only be taken as seriously as you present your evidence. Trust that trickle truthing will do nothing but make you look more suspicious even if you think your SO might freak out the first time finding out.

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

Story 1. Honestly it sounds like they should partner swap. Sounds like the one guy is a better man that the guy she is with.

[@bannerturtoise1219]

Story 1: What actually happened was the guy went home to mommy and tried to grasp at straws, trying to come up with anything to not be the bad guy. So now he's making stuff up about his late cousin to manipulate op. There's trashy, there's disgusting, and then there's this.

[@rebel1612]

I thought the same thing! Like you dont kiss your cousin. I also agreed with an earlier comment that says, "work spouses" are so so disrespectful to actual spouses

[@SakuraMoonflower]

It's truly vile. I feel like taking a shower after reading all of that. :/ Poor OP... I really hope she leaves his ass.

[@aphelion4616]

I don't think he is making it up. A story like thati s easy to coberate. However, him using the trauma as an excuse is off base. While I do get that trauma can influence future decisions due to triggers and the like, the moment he started hiding things, it would have been over. I don't care how much proof he has she insitgated. He still allowed the behaviour and, in going back to the friendship after putting the boundary in place after the kiss, showed, to the work wife at least, that she could stomp all over his boundaries and that she could worm her way in. Him not immediately telling his wife everything as it was happening shows his lack of respect.

[@melindaflick631]

Story 2 - it's the final manipulation of an extremely manipulative man. A man who cheated on his wife while she was dying and he just couldn't wait. Poor OP and her DH. What a mess.

[@disneydork100]

I feel awful for those kids, they lose their parents only to be given to their aunt who apparently doesn’t want them and just keeps trying to pawn them off to a couple of complete strangers.

[@astronautviolet153]

Story: 1 Unprofessional and disrespectful disgusting. Definitely feels like the Husband is cheating on her with a coworker.

[@kp2223]

Right! He quit his job, no transfer? No find another job first option? There are other things he doesn't want OP to find out

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 1: couples therapy is a MUST. But honestly I wouldn't give him a second chance. He needs to live with the consequences of his actions.

[@luislee3247]

New update says they are in sessions right now, and OP is considering leaving him.

[@cmlemmus494]

Story 2: It would be nice to know the kids' ages and whether there was any money to support them (life insurance, father's savings, etc.), but it doesn't change too much. My guess is that the reason the father made OP's husband without asking isn't some power play, but because he'd already asked all the in-contact family and they'd already said no. This is also why aunt is so desperate to get rid of them. She has already said no and now has them anyway. I'd suggest this also answers the first question: there isn't any money to support them. OP's FIL is ignoring his responsibilities from beyond the grave, just as he did when his wife was in hospital.

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

Story 1: OP, at this point, he can't be trusted. He let someone belittle you, both in a private chat and to your face. The work wife's boyfriend did more to stick up for you than your own husband. On top of that, he hid the kiss from you and planned on doing so until it was found out. Don't give him another chance. Take your six figures, go live a happy life and heal from this.

[@carolroberts4614]

And just because he changes jobs, it doesn't mean he will cut off communication with this girl.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I hate that term "insecure wife". Nine times out of ten if a wife is suddenly feeling insecure in her marriage, there is a very god reason for it. 2. Sure, send traumatized kids to strangers to live with. That's just a great idea for everyone involved don't you know. What was that dad thinking? Obviously he wasn't thinking clearly. That was terrible. At least they know the aunt. She needs to be the one to care for them. Poor kids.

[@pippo17173]

Did the aunt forgot about the father cheating on their mom? The husband is making the right choice not to see the kids because he is mature and did the smart thing to not blame the kids on the affair.

[@ynmonroe]

@@pippo17173 I wonder if she forgot that OP's dad was also her brother. That's nothing. Why would OP be more obligated to take care of these kids than she would, especially when he was no contact?

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Story 1: while I like the efforts the husband is making to fix his MAJOR screw up, ultimately he has a fatal character flaw that makes him incapable of marriage. His work wife's boyfriend stood up for his own wife instead of him? That's a nuclear red flag character flaw in her husband. She should marry the work wife's boyfriend.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

He can never 'fix' the fact the he cheated, when he snogged another woman, and disrespected his wife. She needs to divorce him.

[@whitneybennett4857]

A few points I'd like to make here: 1. If he had actually rejected her advances, he would've come clean to you then instead of now. 2. I doubt he would've apologized if you hadn't said anything and called him out on it; he'd still be allowing her to talk trash about you behind your back and laughing with her about it. 3. Yeah, nobody's going to want to leave someone who has a bigger bank account than they do. 4. If someone your partner knows is trying to steal them away from you, they'll just let them down easy but try to distance themselves from that person.....Unless, that is, the feelings are mutual. Best-case scenario here is that your husband has just gotten a major ego boost from knowing someone wants to take him from you. 5. Your husband's a moron. You don't have to actually be sleeping with the other man or woman to be cheating. In fact, cheating doesn't even have to require physical contact.

[@LillyianPuppy]

Yuck. Just finding out the person you love regularly laughs at insults about you behind your back is bad enough, but from somebody who likes them romantically? Ew. Ew. Ew. She can find someone better.

[@TarisLuna]

Last story NTA Why would anyone want to push kids, that just lost their parents, into a home where they are not wanted and don't know anyone? That's just horrible. Those kids need love and support, not being at a place where they are barely tolerated due to being blood related.

[@middaydraws3379]

The only time "Work Wife" or "Work Husband" is okay is if it's between two single people who've known each other for years.

[@stargazerkawaii]

Not once in any workplaces have I even seen one person with a work wife or husband.

[@carolroberts4614]

Same here! We were all just workmates, male or female.

[@pelgervampireduck]

I'm surprised it is a thing, but I never saw or heard of it in reality (or even in movies). the only place where the concept exists is in these stories. I never heard of it before I started listening to these stories in the last couple of years. I find the concept shocking, disgusting, uncomfortable, why would you call a coworker "work wife" or "work husband" instead of just coworker or friend?. the whole thing is very weird.

[@skylar408]

If your partner allows people to insult you and even INDULGE the person insulting you, they don’t care about you. Also just remember every relationship considers cheating differently. Cheating is merely a disrespect of boundaries/rules of the relationship. To me, if my partner kissed somebody who was not me on the lips, I would consider it cheating.

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

OP's husband absolutely loved the attention he got but was in total denial how badly he fed on it. He wanted to be a very important person in his coworker's life even though he didn't fancy her(just as he hadn't fancied his cousin). His story seems consistent.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

Uhhhhh who else feels like he only brought up the dead cousin because he knew it could manipulate op…

[@joshvwvd]

for story 2 if I were in OP's shoes I would have responded to the "as a woman you should be ashamed to be married to someone who would discard flesh and blood children over the actions of adults" with "you as an adult should be ashamed to be flesh and blood with someone who would break their wedding vows while their partner in at their lowest and suffering the most and later derive joy, happiness and legacy from these sins and then tries to pawn the legacy of these sins of on their own child"

[@jjr9792]

Final Story - [16:05] "She (OP's Aunt IL) told me they were just as much my responsibility, as my in-laws..." Absolutely true! Op and the in-laws both have exactly ZERO obligation to take in and raise these children. For the sake of the poor kids, the aunt needs to stop trying to force them upon OP and her husband, and put her efforts into finding a better match for them

[@TheIronwil]

Story 1: I'd have left my spouse over that level of disrespect. The only reasons you allow someone to trash talk your spouse is if you have crippling levels of social anxiety or you agree with them. He wasn't describe as a pansy or socially awkward, so that leaves one conclusion - he doesn't respect OP. Whether it's due to his own insecurities (sounds like OP is very attractive) or because he thinks she's stupid is irrelevant. Laughing at her being disrespected at the f-ing dinner table should have provoked an immediate response. OP was and still is acting like a doormat. Who cares if he pushed her away from the kiss? He lied to OP's face about them having feelings and allows his own wife to be blatantly insulted right in front of him... and laughed.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1: Girl, this woman wants your husband. And I get the strong suspicion it's reciprocal. Edit after update: Called it. Girl, he cheated on you, THAT'S why he deleted the convo. Do NOT let him move back in! Do you seriously think he didn't edit the texts before printing them out?

[@jameshutchinson2817]

The husbands reaponse to the confrontation over op seeing their texts is extremely telling, his mind went straight to why is her husband spying, and the part he was most likely thinking but didnt say out loud was, and how much has he found out.

[@kaitohkid7229]

I am absolutely sure that they were on their way to an physical affair.

[@catsithx]

Story one he messed by not telling his wife the whole story and kept trying to play it off thinking nothing would happen Play stupid game win stupid prizes both the husband and "friend" were stupid as hell. Mvp was the other spouse husband for standing up for op.

[@ttrev007]

oh she really needs to leave him. He does not love her.

[@wmdkitty]

He deserves better than this bitter, jealous, controlling harpy.

[@bredaisy4001]

Story 1, just divorce him. He doesn't respect you. Imagine going on a trip you know with someone who kissed you and ignoring your on the trip for her. Just no

[@OmniscientlyMe]

2. I'd have just told the aunt that "It's a good thing that you have them then, since we're apparently heartless. You shouldn't try to give the kids to heartless people, so I expect this is the last we'll hear about this from you."

[@taz598]

Story 1 Honestly sounds like husband needs some serious therapy.....he transferred his feelings for his cousin onto this woman simply because she played victim, then allowed her to manipulate the situation belittle his wife and destroy two relationships....If I was OP he'd definitely have to get therapy to deal with his past trauma before I'd even consider letting him back in because if he doesn't this will just happen again because there are way to many people out there that will play victim to get your sympathy and then try to use that to get into a relationship and that sounds like exactly what she did. Sounds like he fell for the oldest trick in the book.

[@lovingmusichere]

My anger issues could never. Bye husband and work wife.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Story1: The husband didn't care who he hurt with his actions. He manipulated EVERYONE in this situation to their detriment from the work colleague, to her now ex partner and even dissing on his own partner to achieve his end game: HIS own personal satisfaction. His cousin who unalived herself is tragic, but does not excuse the way he used every single person involved here and negated their feelings if they didn't align with his wants. This is not someone I would want in my life and I would run from ASAP.

[@glitchyglitchy3925]

Story 1: Nah fam, he was willing to hide all of this from OP and let some bitch insult her, his wife, over and over. On some level, he does believe his wife is less intelligent for being a beautician. Maybe the story about his cousin is true and maybe it isn't, but his actions were deliberate, and in the end actions are what matter. There are decisions you can't come back from.

[@ForAtanDaOss]

Story 1: I would serve him divorce papers at his work with a note 'I'm too stupid for your liking but I'm to smart to stay with you'

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 1: Where's the why in this? Why didn't he stop the coworker from putting his wife down? Why didn't he set crystal clear boundaries? Why didn't OP ask the "why"?

[@threeducks157]

I actually have it written on the employee handbooks for all my businesses, restaurants, lawn snd garden/farming equipment shop, and rental business, that any inappropriate relationships including "work husband/wife" is an instant dismissal. As you can probably tell i have 0 patience for that nonsense.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

There would nothing worse for a child, than to be raised in a home where they are UNLOVED and NOT wanted. The effects are psychologically devastating and last a life time. People can't be forced to love a child, love is an emotional FEELING.

[@hellund2874]

The term "work wife/husband" is a euphemism for "work-place side piece" because that's what it eventually leads to. If you value your marriage/relationship, don't put someone at work on the same level as your life partner, unless you want to lose them.

[@Sovreign071]

Story 1 Update: WW is in desperate need of therapy. Not just because she pushed away both her WH and BF, but because she's adopted the same mannerisms of her bullies, judging someone based on looks alone. And while OP's BF was a bit of an idiot, it's nice to see that he's taking steps to correct his mistakes.

[@drea4195]

Any time you hear someone refer to a colleague as a "work wife" or "work husband", you can bet there are romantic feelings from at least one of them, if not both. They can "joke" about it being like a marriage, but if they even come up with the term in their heads, it's because they've realized there's at least a little bit of truth to it.

[@teacheschem]

I had a work husband who started dating someone who was biologically young enough to be my daughter. So we named her my daughter and called him my work husband son-in-law. And I had a work wife too! Not everyone has all these feelings! 🤣🤣

[@rai4119]

wow. I can't believe that husband actually managed to turn it around. That is a man that really really really wanted to keep his wife. The more and more and more that what's explained the more I realized, "okay, yeah, I can see how this really was just an accident." It actually would help rebuild the trust in demand because he's pretty much laid out the groundwork without the wife even asking.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good afternoon! Already working on Christmas stocking stuffers earring, money cards, secret Santa tags

[@MarkNarrations]

Oooo what you working on Frieda?

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

Story 2: NTA. These two are under no obligation to step up to cover for the father's irresponsibility, especially when they were never even consulted about being listed as the kids' potential guardians. Furthermore, in my mind, there is no such thing as good parents who didn't want the children they're raising. The two cannot be true simultaneously. You can go through the motions and not be abusive, sure. But children- hell, everyone- can tell when they're unwanted. They notice when you're just begrudgingly tolerating them out of a sense of obligation, and that'll only f*ck them up more. Bouncing them from one home that doesn't want them to another that doesn't want them would be even worse.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Still mad about the trickle-truthing and the way he protected work wife instead of his actual wife. S2: "She told me they were just as much responsibility as my husband's." "You're absolutely right, aunt! They are zero percent my husband's responsibility, and huh, look at that, they are also zero percent my responsibility!" "She called me heartless and told me that as a woman I should be ashamed to be married to someone who would discard flesh and blood children..." "You mean the way you are attempting to? As a woman, you should be ashamed of yourself." Close door in her face, the end.

[@hothotheat3000]

Very disrespectful of your husband to allow this woman to insult you. The other woman’s partner has more respect for you. Big red flag.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 husband is a lying liar and he has no responsibility. He's blaming her for everything. Even if she did initiate the kiss, he didn't tell his wife, he let this woman demean his wife. And WTF he wanted to bang his cousin?? Because he definitely was having at least an emotional affair, maybe more with this woman.

[@carolroberts4614]

I would say so too! My ex husband came up with all sorts of excuses, similar to these!

[@wmdkitty]

Or maybe OP is a petty, jealous a-hole trying to ruin two people's careers over nothing.

[@juliamiller2299]

Story 1, OP had every right to leave her husband over his disrespect. He was lucky that she was such a good woman and didn't leave him. Story 2, It's too bad that the OP's husband would abandon his half-siblings because of such a poor relationship with his father. if it were me, I would have still met them, since it wasn't their fault. Interview the kids and then make up his mind. It was his father's fault, and the children shouldn't have been held responsible. But that's me.

[@KCCAT5]

If my husband's work partner said crap like that about me and he left I'd be leaving his ass because he obviously doesn't respect you

[@LittleImpaler]

What is a work wife? The wife needs to divorce her husband, if she's able too. I don't know what county she lives in.

[@Silence-1170]

Hope all you waffles are doing well! Stay safe and stay positive waffles!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey silence, hope all is well matey!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Thanks and you too🤗🤗💜💜

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Why is that the people who don't need to care for children are the ones being called heartless? Yes, it's unfair to children. They're innocent in all of this but you should NEVER be forced to raise children. Bringing children to a home where they're not loved is doing them no favors at all under any circumstances.

[@mygrandma3041]

That husband is 100% gonna cheat on her. First emotionally and then physically. He even let her wife got disrespected because work wife feeling is much more important than his wife feeling.

[@christakriel3632]

Last story. Is there nobody on the childrens' mother's side that can take them?

[@kayasmith9789]

Story one was definitely an emotional affair 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

I never understood idiots like the aunt in the final story. "You're heartless, cruel! the most horrible person alive!! Now take these kids off my hands!!" Geez, aunty... You think the worst of this person, yet you still want them to take "these poor innocent babies" in? Why do you hate the kids so much, aunty, that you would want them to be "stuck with the most heartless and cruel person who doesn't want them"? I get _why_ she's insulting her in order to guilt her, but it's still stupid. It opens her up to people responding with "You are absolutely right! I am heartless and cruel, the most horrible human alive! And yet, even *I* wouldn't trap children with someone as heartless and cruel as me... So what does that say about something like you, that *wants* to torture the kids with a heartless and cruel person??"

[@groofromtheup5719]

S1; that would be very hard to get over, but if the whole truth is out now, probably not divorce worthy. His trickle truthing and deleting conversations strongly suggests he is not worthy of being trusted to not cheat. I think he needs to accept that he deserves zero device privacy going forward. OP might consider Spyware.

[@jjgandthatsenough]

Kim kardashian is a multi millionaire currently pursuing a degree while raising 4 children and dealing with an ex husband with clear mental health issues, which she has done gracefully and with respect towards her ex and kids. I’m not her biggest fan but let’s give credit we’re credit is due.

[@1911odisea]

Didn't she do a SNL bit where she mocked Kanye in the middle of his crisis?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Tell the aunt she's a blood relative and as a woman she should be ashamed of herself.

[@OneUponADime]

If husband didnt tell her about the kiss, hes a cheat

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

That man has an inappropriate relationship even if if I believe him that he wasn't attracted to the friend. You do not keep a friendship where you know someone loves you and accept them insulting your wife. Absolutely not.

[@ttrev007]

family is based on relationships. he has no relationship with the kids. they are strangers. sounds like the aunt does have a relationship so she would be a better fit for guardian.

[@damnbagobricks]

So in story one... he bonds to this women so much because she reminds him of his cousin who was killed by bullying... so he helps, supports, and encourages this women to bully his wife. And somehow he thinks this is a good explanation? Wtf?

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 1: OP needs to cut her losses and leave. Her husband is trickle truthing and gaslighting her. Worse yet, if he really did quit his job and remains unemployed, OP may end up having to pay him alimony once she's finally had enough. She deserves better than this.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: While I think the marriage can maybe be saved, they need couples counseling and maybe individual. Husband kept a lot of secrets and instead of honesty tried to hide it. And he allowed the work wife to speak poorly of his actual wife. Will need time to repair the trust and the husband needs to work on his behaviour and deceitful nature.

[@andreabrunkow9314]

Trickle truthing is the WORST thing someone can do. It does IRREPARABLE damage. A trickle truther can NEVER be FULLY trusted..... You already KNOW that they're NEVER going to give YOU the FULL truth.

[@maddy8328]

Him bringing up his cousin was so unnecessary. It seems like he went after her since he liked his cousin or something. He just dug his hole deeper

[@dm9078]

Hubby is one smooth operator. He enjoyed the attention. Hot well earning wife at home. Good looking smart Finn wife at work. I wonder if she bought it. It sounded as if she was falling for his bull! Story2 Dad and AP/wife were arseholes until the end. NTA

[@najah7781]

OP in first story: Leave. Get your stuff and get out.

[@Sarah-oc9zc]

In story 1, he would’ve hid things from her if she didn’t find out from the SO. Big yikes and yuck from him!

[@TheDarwinProject1]

On the last story, I would only add that OP should try to reach out to the aunts local CPS to let them know she is trying to get rid of the kids. If she can't find a family member, is she going to sell them to a non family member? They should go into foster care anyway should she decide she doesn't want them. I cannot imagine the QoL for the kids having to live with her either, based on how persistent she's trying to give them away.

[@dandotvid]

Is it even legal to just name someone as a guardian if they haven't agreed to it?

[@kichikitsu]

honestly even after hearing all that in the last update... i'd be like "instead of searching for a new job, you better be searching for a therapist before i ever consider trusting you again." because literally the amount of disrespect that husband showed towards op is staggering and based off of her explanation, it doesn't seem like he even acknowledges it? just that he "was wrong" and "shouldn't have projected [his] cousin onto [his coworker]." like yes, trauma, but trauma doesn't excuse "i thought it was just smth we had to disagree on" DISAGREEING ON YOUR WIFE? BRO? nah bitch you shouldn't even stand for actual family hating your wife based on a PICTURE of her, yet you're over here acting like a centrist over a coworker you've only known for a few years at most? and then the misogyny of "oh i thought it was just female jealousy" die actually. how tf are you gonna let someone demean the person you admit to wanting to grow old with and just... equate it to "fEmAlE jEaLouSy"??? tf even is female jealousy?? jealousy isn't gender locked!! whoever is unfortunate enough to get this man as their client has a lot of shit to work through and OP should stay away for her own sake until he's actually unpacked all that... and then they better get into couples therapy if they ever want a chance at rebuilding that trust again.

[@luislee3247]

Current update says they're in sessions right now, and OP is considering leaving.

[@nineblackgoats]

Just popping in to say that Mark's voice is an audio bear hug. An audio cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows.

[@rogrove6325]

His laughs make me relax like a tea of hot cocoa for sure.

[@erickaennis2738]

He's been cheating. He's not afraid of losing his wife. He's worried about losing his lifestyle. I'd leave. The cousin story is just manipulation. Leave.

[@michelleb2669]

His cousins suicide? What utter nonsense. Her SO didn't stick-up for her and was initially more concerned about the intrusive way they, the two jilted spouses, had uncovered highly suspicious texts, than his betrayal of their wedding vows. So manipulative.

[@Standinthegap4ever]

While the children are blameless in this, someone needs to tell the aunt that SHE should be ashamed for backing an adulterer who committed adultery against his dying wife!

[@jeaniebee3657]

mqaybe the aunt thought the kids came with money in the form of trust fund or something like that and when they didnt she didnt want them anymore

[@jameshutchinson2817]

How much you want to bet he was pissed about the office kiss because it was somewhere they could be seen, and after chasing him down they probably went somewhere and banged. The op said in the texts he would not only laugh but add on. That in itself should be reason enough to leave this asshole, poor op is allowing herself to be played.

[@kaitohkid7229]

Yeah absolutely it was an affair in the making which was stopped because they became bold.