My Husband Cheated So I Gave Him An Ultimatum, Open The Marriage Or Divorce r/Relationships

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Is it just me or does anyone else think it's totally adorable when Mark says Holy Moly?

[@BunkoValentine]

Mark is always adorable.

[@RockyGems]

Hulley mulley!

[@rosemarie1817]

He really is, he's so cute and surprised every time ❤❤❤❤

[@Tokyo_Rose.]

😄 LoL, yes, makes me smile

[@GeekyBibliophile]

Yes! I also love it when he says "You cheeky little so and so's"

[@evieb8412]

The commenter who told OP of Story #1 that she was just teaching her husband to be more secretive was spot on. She didn’t give him 48 hours to make a decision: she gave him 48 hours to study her very detailed list of rules and figure out exactly how he could flout all of them without getting caught a second time. So glad she came to her senses and withdrew her ultimatum before the nonsense went too far.

[@ladyv5655]

Maybe, but OP is wise to him and will be more vigilant from now on.

[@RomeGod177]

She didn't withdraw her ultimatum, the time came an the husband. Like all selfish cheaters are did want to share. So like op said she made the choice for him.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Her solution sounded like something rather old-timey (in the days before divorce was acceptable). This was just divorce with extra steps. He wasn't going to change, why bother making it comfortable for him?

[@ronhall5395]

She knew he would not make any choices. I am sure he got no sleep worrying about what he should choose. She already had divorce papers Ready. This was just her way of mentally thrashing him prior to the divorce.

[@marshawargo7238]

​@@ronhall5395 Wow, that's kinda the same as I thought! I think she Knew, setting up the ground rules, that he wouldn't go for any of it! She just made his last 48 with her, sleepless worry! "What's she thinking? What's she up to? She's not like that! What's going to happen?" On & On & On All 48!!!😊😂🎉

[@croftant2]

For theblast story: those kids aren't teens anymore. They never visited or came to see their terminally ill father, and the face that some people seemed to ignore that sp they could go in on OP is very aggravating.

[@drea4195]

Story 2: the name was "solved", but there was a bigger red flag that didn't get addressed: husband believing everybody but his wife. That's not going to stop with the name issue. And It's concerning how OP just swept it all under the rug in her update. OP, the two of you still need therapy to deal with this gaslighting and toxicity on the part of your husband.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op is a moron for marrying a guy who allowed his mother to mistreat her. this won't get better.

[@stan8479]

The... The gaslighting? Do you even know what that word means?

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@stan8479 "she can't have done that, you must be exaggerating" is trying to make his wife not believe her own perception of reality. And he did that.

[@stan8479]

@@SidereusOfTheFallen You can't gaslight someone about something you don't know is happening.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@stan8479 WTF? Yes you can. She TOLD HIM it was happening and he told her "no, it's all in your head". WTF are you even on about.

[@bricksloth6920]

That's not an "open marriage," it would be a "marriage of convenience", AKA a sham marriage. Just no.

[@YellaBellaReno]

This. Sham marriage is the perfect term for this.

[@Puffinugginns]

I mean thats true but many people are in sham open marriages for financial reasons alone.

[@johnbradbury8610]

It would be worse for the kids.

[@BaeBunni]

seem pretty obviously a bluff I mean the guy is such a spineless fool he couldn't even give a yes or no within 2 days. because I doubt he took that long to decide to cheat.

[@mwvidz324]

All "open marriages" are sham marriages.

[@imajinallthepurple]

Story 3: No matter what caused the rift between OP's husband and his kids the fact is that HE chose to leave HIS money to OP. They then became HER money to do with what SHE wanted. End of story. (and personally I think it sounds like she chose a worthy recipient)

[@lockhak33]

That's a very good point

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 it wasn't a stranger. She was more family to y'all than those bio kids. I hate when people scream gold digger just because a woman isn't working outside the home. You were a SAHM. Even after he didn't pay for college, they didn't try to right the relationship. They got what they deserved: no money

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op is the AH for asking reddit after she already promised the estate to someone.

[@TailsFan]

@@johnbradbury8610 Some people ask reddit to assure themselves that they aren't wrong, even if they already made up their mind.

[@callalily5404]

Thank the lord someone else was thinking the same as me. Those comments that op was the ah made me really mad. No, those “children” are adults and chose not to be there for their father throughout his illness and that was a chance they had to reconcile. No. No money for their entitled butts

[@robertx8020]

If OP's husband was TA for not paying for their education then his ex was an AH too for not paying either Btw I don't think OP was TA and neither was her husband ...his kids kept calling his wife a golddigger and all kind of stuff ..'Don't bit the hand that feeds you' comes to mind THEY sound like golddiggers ...you don't pay? you don't get out 'love' Besides, OP's husband doesn't seem too rich if he only left her $25000 Sure he owned a house but it;s not like you can use a house to pay off an education! It sounds like OP had MORE money as she could give up the house and had enough money to get an other place.

[@robertx8020]

@@johnbradbury8610 Are you new here? As that happens a lot

[@a.munroe]

Story 1: OP knew her ex wouldn't want to share or follow rules, she was just making it clear divorce was going to end up his only option.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op was the AH for being willing to put her kids through this. she is an even bigger AH for saying if I get pregnant I'll either get an abortion or he can take the child. this couple deserves each other.

[@a.munroe]

@@johnbradbury8610 I didn't defend her. I just said the ultimatum was bc she wanted the divorce and needed to make the other options unappealing.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@a.munroe you know this how?

[@a.munroe]

@@johnbradbury8610 because. She chose divorce in the end anyway? Duh.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

​@@johnbradbury8610To put her kids through what? What's wrong with an abortion or giving up the child to a willing parent?

[@CasualVFlowerEnjoyer]

Replies to the last story make me roll my eyes. If the husand wanted the kids to have anything, he would have left them something. But he didn't and that's his right. He left his inheritance to op to do with as she wished. He wanted her to have it all. He did so without expecting op to redistribute it to his kids. Otherwise he would have left it to them himself. He didn't want the kids to have his money. His wishes should be respected. Op did a good thing with the money that he likely would have approved of.

[@HinataElyonToph]

Hmm and the kids are accusing her of being a gold digger. Methinks they doth project too much

[@CasualVFlowerEnjoyer]

@@HinataElyonToph Oh for sure. People who are guilty of something love to be suspicious of others doing the same. It makes them feel better, like "If I can do this and get away with it, then why not them? They must be doing it too. That makes what I'm doing forgivable and normal. Because they're the same as me." Or something along those lines. They brainwash themselves into believing it because they don't want to accept they aren't the rule, they're the exception and a terrible person. Nobody wants to believe they're a terrible person.

[@janedoe885]

Story 3, I think 'not enough information' is fine as a verdict but I'm skeeved by comments literally making shit up to paint OP as an evil stepmom who should accept any and all abuse by offspring and give them money while she's at it. It's possible for offspring to mistreat parents. It's possible for step-kids to mistreat step-parents. Being a younger generation is not a free pass to be as abusive as you want while maintaining a moral high-ground because 'parents/adults are responsible for all of it anyway'. Especially when those kids were brought in as teenagers and purportedly instigated cruelty as teenagers. The generalizations are just creepy at this point.

[@bessieburnet9816]

But as the adults, OP and her husband had the responsibility to clear it up and solve the problem to have a peaceful household. They willfully kept the information away from them. They had a responsibility to clear the air, they had nothing to loose, and if they were still dicks, the facts don't change and they can be secure in the knowledge that they did everything they could and she isn't a gold digger.

[@janedoe885]

@@bessieburnet9816 The reason OP didn’t tell the step-kids she had money is because it shouldn’t have mattered whether she did or not. Coming from a less financially secure background than your partner doesn’t automatically make someone a gold-digger incapable of love who is only there to exploit wealth. The presumption that that’s the only reason someone not independently wealthy could love a person with money is insulting and classist. There have literally been stories about times wealthy partners financially abused less well-off significant others because they assumed them to be shallow and only there for money despite all evidence to the contrary. Adults do not bear sole responsibility for fixing conflict with offspring, especially teenage offspring. The teenagers have their own agency and made repeated choices in their behavior. They also aren’t teenagers anymore. They have never been owed information about OP’s financial status and should have been treating others with decency regardless of economic standing. It speaks poorly of THEIR character that they didn’t.

[@mariselytorres8039]

@@janedoe885I would also like to add on that many Reddit posts in the past about disrespectful teens is either because the bio parent was turning the kids against the step parent or the kids still want their parents to be together and now with the new addition, they’re in the way of making their wishes come true. Other reason for teens to behave that way could also be because the step parent is affair partner while parents were married but that doesn’t seem to be the issue here. I believe a lot of redditors that attempt to pin step parents as “horrible person” or “isn’t telling the full story” are projecting their own bad experiences with their parents/step parents. Teens tend to be angsty and assholes (I should know, I was one) but they shouldn’t be excused just because they’re teens. At that point, they should at least know better. I’d understand if they were kids below 13, but damn, 14 and up should know damn well not to be a dick just because they feel like it.

[@janedoe885]

@@mariselytorres8039 For sure! Like… it isn’t that step-parents or parents are incapable of being in the wrong either for sure. Some cases they will absolutely be the source of the issue. But can’t just assume and generalize like that, you know? When I was a teen, a guy’s mom in my group of friends was bending over backwards to provide for a group activity or event. I can’t remember what it was, but I think she was the only adult involved and she was doing A LOT to help out. She got a minor detail mixed up, and her son just started berating her in front of everyone in the ugliest way. She looked like she was going to cry. It was absolutely horrifying and I couldn’t look at the guy the same way afterward. Couldn’t imagine talking to my own parents that way, let alone when they were trying to do something nice for me. I’ve seen cases like what you described too with cheaters, abusers, all kinds of bullshit behavior from parents. But the idea that being the offspring means you can do no wrong and parents/step-parents are always evil is delusional I think.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@mariselytorres8039 Good points.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

For the last post I think OP is NTA and I’m not surprised by the amount of YTA votes, AITA has a tendency to be biased against stepparents and extremely lenient towards kids and teens.

[@kumikor3392]

Oh yeah, AITA always acts like kids can be monsters AH if they want because of puberty, but adults can't ever feel hurt or disgusted by that behavior

[@RuminatingRaptor]

Especially stepmothers. I swear, some people believe the evil stepmother trope to be true.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

​@@kumikor3392I actually laughed when the poster said being upset was his way of "lashing out." 🤣😂🤣😂 Adults aren't allowed to have any negative emotions. We're supposed to either be happy or...happy.

[@kumikor3392]

​@@MargaritaOnTheRoxmy eyes rolled so hard at that part 😂 they just don't want to acknowledge that parents are people first.

[@aga3852]

@@kumikor3392 Literally hilarious honestly. Adults are simply children who have spent time in the world. They still got feelings, they got traumas, they got stress, etc. Respecting them is very important.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: So hold up. OP can't tell her husband That Mildred was cruel and be believed. But one of his exes can tell him and he believed it. Okay there's something wrong with this. He trusts his ex more than he trusts his wife. Holy Moly indeed!

[@lockhak33]

It didn't sound like her husband cared about how his mother treated his wife and ex girlfriends because he still wanted to name their daughter Mildred after the ex GF confirmed the story. I think the reason he backed down was because OP showed just how far as she was willing to go to not named their daughter by tracking down one of his exs.

[@LayfonDragnia]

Yeah, I agree Mark. Opening up a relationship after an affair is a bandaid solution for a lethal wound. If op goes through with this it will only make things worse.

[@shalaineenglish3761]

Story 3 It seems the kids interpreted their dad not paying for college as him picking the OP over them. I wouldn't be keen on helping take care of someone that I felt didn't feel care about me. Her precious daughter is a money grubber too. Why did all these kids think he had a huge windfall of money?

[@pippo17173]

Oh ya the daughter seems in line of the greed. However it does make me think how much the ex wife is involved because I'm sure all this us coming from her.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2: wow OP needs to get her husband into counseling, he believed his ex words about his mother but not her?! And he still wants a first name that he can turn into a nickname that sounds like his mother’s name? He’s still clutching that umbilical cord and that needs to be addressed before the baby arrives.

[@Kingdo_RGT]

I think it's more about an "unbiased" view than anything. He didn't believe his wife because it's usual to have bad wife/MIL relationship by standard. But his ex doesn't have any ground to lie about it. It's still a crapy behavior.

[@TailsFan]

It's about revealing a pattern of behavior, showing him that it's not just OP having a problem with his mother.

[@ringluvr]

Yes, just get a freaking divorce. That's too much. Whew! She made the right choice.

[@chezshirecat1872]

Story 3#-As a parent, my money is my money. If I chose to give it to family I will-but no one deserves the money. She is the wife and got the money-if the will says to give it to the children then she should have-but now it is her money.

[@kumikor3392]

Yes! They didn't even come to his bed side when he was suffering from cancer. I can't see how anyone's would side with those grown brats

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 2. Don't name your daughter, Mildred. Not only that name is old fashion, it is also to name after someone who despise you. Though your husband may disagree with you, he should at least hear you out and compromise. He did not believe the wife and the ex had to come and reaffirm what the wife said. He was too emotionally attached to his mom to see how wicked she was.

[@GiordanDiodato]

divorce time

[@nwilady1867]

Idk how she let it slide, him not believing how sick his mom was. And she's a dunce for not giving proof.

[@lsmmoore1]

I sure as hell wouldn't name a daughter of mine Mildred, considering that's the name of a woman who tried (failed, but tried) to MURDER my mother when my mother was a little girl. As it was, I'm pretty sure THIS Mildred stole at least 20 years of my mom's life with what she did.

[@tripleultima]

Llll .ll

[@HinataElyonToph]

Not to mention if they DID name their daughter Mildred, she would be laughed at and bullied heavily at school

[@paden1865able]

You don't honor people who abuse you or your partner. Tell him to get stuffed and walk out if he keeps it up. Instruct the nurses to bring the paperwork for your child's name to you and ONLY you. If you have to give the word to disallow him from the hospital, do it.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op is so screwed, she marries a guy who allows his mother to mistreat her, than gets knocked up hoping things will get better. way to go OP.

[@nilianstroy]

In fairness there are too many reddit stories where the partner sides with their family members that openly abuse their SO, that's why this story doens't surprise me at all, and op caved, it will only get worse, i can see the husband calling their daughter mildred ''by accident'' or trying to manipulate the daughter into asking op to change her name to mildred.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

The father sounds like he's trying to do some weird life continuum with the name. Ol' mommy dearest is dead, dude.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Even if MIL was kind to OP that's not enough to force your partner to name your kid after them.

[@shadowsolion7325]

Story 3: um…. The step kids didn’t visit at all and asked about money on the DAY OF his funeral. There is a HUGE difference between that and OP’s daughter who later on when she gave the money to the person that helped them was disappointed about money. There is a time and place for things. The funeral is not it.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Usually it’s the other way around, with the cheating spouse begging their partner to open the relationship or giving them permission to cheat. But this seems slightly different. They’re staying as a couple for the sake of keeping their house and kids. But it seems like OP doesn’t want any more intimacy. So they would both be able to have extramarital relationships, with boundaries to keep them away from their family and home. It kinda seems like a cope. She wants to change their relationship to more or less roommates. If that’s the case, they won’t be a family, her entire reason for not wanting a full divorce, it won’t be good for the kids. Just divorce, it is what is best for her and her kids.

[@SailorMya]

I found this one odd too but notice that when given the choice to continue to sleep around like he had been, he doesn't want HER to be able to sleep around as well. Strange how possessive cheaters can be when the tables have turned. Plus this would make an unbalanced power dynamic in the household where anytime he is upset at her using the open marriage she would just pull the divorce card which is not a healthy relationship... Teatering on the edge of divorce would just make everyone unhappy in the marriage, especially the kids.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S1- I must admit when OP gave him the options to divorce or open marriage & then laid out plans for both, was pretty smart. The fact that he could actually see the future what comes with whatever choice he chooses, it’s not what HE wanted. He wanted his wife to ignore the heart ache he gave her and now wants to be on his best behavior. The husband’s infidelity was discovered and is trying to keep OP (my reason is bc the house is in OPs name and his side chick has a part time job and either has a small apartment or a husband with a house) bc he doesn’t want to leave his family and share his wife, he wants to be the only 🍆 . He doesn’t want open marriage OP w/ a man bc, 1.)Other guy might be better than him and 2.) doesn’t want a divorce bc she’ll remarry and kids will have stepdad. The fact that she gave him 2 days to think it through and he still insisted on talking, just showed that he didn’t have any intention to think about the options SHE gave him and tried to manipulate his way for OP to reconsider her taking him back; after having his fun of course. What an A$$.

[@SailorMya]

@@heatheraucoin5832 So true! I love your take! When you boil it down he is just an A$$ who is controlling and showing narcissistic behavior. (I would just flat-out call him a narcissist but I'm not a therapist!) He wants things HIS way even after HE f*cked up.​

[@rickraber1249]

You're right - and he if he got what he wanted, he'd be looking for more fun to come. @@heatheraucoin5832

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@SailorMyayeah, I thought maybe she was planning to divorce him anyway, but wanted to ask this to see if he was hypocritical as well as a liar. But she was just trying to cope, but less than a day later, just divorced him anyway.

[@JL-zt7dn]

Story 1 I love this woman, "I don't believe in cheating makes the relationship stronger crap" YES! Infidelity is not an obstacle you need to go through for a relationship to get stronger. Cheaters will always be cheaters and excuses will always be made to either downplay, justify or gaslight infidelity.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

The only people that truly believe that are cheaters and/or delusional. lol

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 3. Stepchildren generally don't respect stepparents. The stepchildren don't deserve the inheritance because their father did not leave anything in the will for them and did not pay for their college due to their deep disrespect. Either way, when their parents divorced, their mom still have her inheritance to give to her children.

[@heymrnickerbocker]

Exactly. But it goes both ways. We all grew up.with a bunch of Brady Bunch lies How many stepparents molest and beat the kids and the parent does NOTHING!! Bottom line is people with underage children should be deemed UNDATEABLE!! If you can't make it work, stay single til the kids are grown. Period.

[@glendastaples8206]

Story two, I just think the fact that he had two women telling him that his mother wasn’t nice to his girlfriends is what gave him the push he needed to convince him that it was true.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

He seems really, really daft tbh.

[@blairn8748]

Story 3. She did not give the money to her own daughter either. The girl who helped them throughout the husband's cancer was more helpful than the step kids. The money was willed to the wife not the step kids. She could give it away to anyone she wants. It was her money.

[@madgevanness4011]

Mildred: sometimes it takes two witnesses to confirm things. Especially if one is emotionally involved and the other is more disinterested.

[@samantharoggelin1467]

Story 1: I’m gonna say this right now if you have to give an ultimatum after you catch your husband or wife cheating on you you already know the marriage is over despite opening the marriage or divorcing it’s always going to end in divorce. This is just a dumpster fire of an ultimatum. I am so glad she left in the end. Edit: story 3: I really disagree with the YTAs. Sometimes kids can be assholes and she said they were teenagers when they met. They knew exactly what they were doing so it’s not like they were very young kids. OP is definitely not the asshole because they never excepted you as a stepparent and was constantly degrading you for being one and calling you a Golddigger. Why in a million years should you give money to kids that never treated you with respect? They knew exactly what they were doing whether they got it from outside influence or not they could’ve chose to change their ways.

[@pippo17173]

Ya I don't get hearing post like this because why even bother? Like screw the cheater at this point.

[@peculiarpossum7149]

Also, they never came to visit their cancer ridden father and showed up to his funeral just to ask about inheritance? Like...provided we believe the POV, these "kids" made decisions as adults that determined them not receiving any of the estate.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

@@peculiarpossum7149 Right, that's where any sympathy for the stepkids went out the door. They could always have visited the dad, but didn't. They were adults at that point, that was something they could be control over, but didn't. When a stranger shows more kindness than you own family, that's really telling.

[@HinataElyonToph]

I’m guessing OP of story 1 was never actually gonna go through with her ultimatum. She was just calling his bluff and making him squirm. Plus you know he never would have liked it if she got to sleep around. It’s only okay when HE does it 🙄

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: I don't remember all the details of the story, but I remember what Mark is referring to. It was the story where the baby was going to end up being born on Valentine's Day, and husband and in-laws insisted on naming the baby "Valentino" because 'its so cute'. OP refused and they came up with another name, but when wife was recovering he forged her signature and named the kid Valentino anyway. OP ended up divorcing him and renamed the kid, and the ex-husband suddenly didn't care about his son or ex anymore. Pretty sure he was cheating on her or something.

[@yamigoya8291]

For story 2: I didn't feel like the resolution was great either but I interpreted the thing about op getting an ex to tell her husband about mil and him starting to believe that his mom was awful as, like, since op wasn't the only one saying that stuff but it also happened to other exs it means that she wasn't exaggerating or misinterpreting things like he thought she was now that they have more witnesses. But tbh I would've left him a long time ago just for that if I was the op...

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I'm just baffled he needed someone else to tell him instead of believing his partner. Not the sharpest tool in the shed is he.

[@yamigoya8291]

@@itsjustmaddisen There's a lot of things wrong with him for sure lol

[@bessieburnet9816]

Story 2: He wants her to name their daughter after the mil that mistreated her? Ok, Harry Potter with your "Severus" middle name choice. Now, the question is, why has OP stayed with a guy that never stood up for her and dismissed his wife's problem with his mother? Douche hisband right there. Update: What? She can't just end it there! She got an ex to verify? He believed her over his wife who complained many a time?! Tell us more!!

[@ynmonroe]

Definitely the question. I never would have moved past the part where he didn't believe me. It's not like she complained about a single occurrence that could have been misconstrued. I don't know how anyone could love someone that doesn't trust their word. Like what?

[@bessieburnet9816]

​@@ynmonroeif he thinks that type of relationship with a mother in law is normal, I wonder what Mildred's relationship with his paternal grandmother was.

[@ynmonroe]

@@bessieburnet9816 Food for thought, for sure. We often see that these nightmare MILs like to dish out abuse because they were treated similarly. I personally don't buy the idea that she hid this mistreatment of OP well. No way would she have been disciplined enough to keep her slick comments on the low. Also, I can bet that there was more than one past girlfriend that had nightmare tales.

[@krazycats564]

Hey Harry Potter doesn't say Ginny didn't like that middle name.

[@Kingdo_RGT]

"She got an ex to verify? He believed her over his wife who complained many a time?!" I think it's more about an "unbiased" view than anything. He didn't believe his wife because it's usual to have bad wife/MIL relationship by standard. But his ex doesn't have any ground to lie about it. It's still a crapy behavior.

[@FromMiamiWithLuv]

Story 3: Honestly, I understand the kids up until the showing up for money part. It taking teens a while to warm up to a woman and a family dynamic that was potentially forced on them sounds normal. Did OP's husband leave the kids mom for her? What was custody like? Did the dad make a big deal of custody or were the teens free to choose? What was the relationship like between OP's husband and his ex? How old was Op, how old was the husband? Did OP's husband ever try to mend his relationship with any of his kids prior to being sick (they were adults at this time, but so was he)? There are just too many unanswered questions for me to villianize the kids. Also, does OP's daughter know that she has money, because wanting a piece of 25k when you come from money is some selfish ish. She should have felt no way about the waitress receiving it all.

[@err0r51]

Was the lights on or off in the bedroom, what was the temperature?? They didnt even visit their dying father..

[@HinataElyonToph]

Nah they were mad at her because she got in the way of what they thought was theirs by birthright but dear ol dad saw right through them. They were projecting

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 1- yes it should have been a divorce right off the bat but I won’t lie. I love that she made the ultimatum of open marriage.. or divorce. Not because of the fact that she needed to stay in the marriage but to really twist it in how he EFFED up the relationship. He would have to contend with the fact that because of his selfishness he would have to feel the same thing she felt. “Is he better in bed than me? Is she really at work? What are they doing?” He knew he couldn’t answer the ultimatum so it ultimately lead to the divorce where we all knew it would go!

[@AraAra6367]

I’m surprised no one caught on to the fact that OP didn’t want an open relationship. She put the ultimatum down so as to force him to choose divorce.

[@valerysamantha3646]

This is probably the coziest background. I do miss that "wake up" song thought, that was my fave

[@Feralcottagecore]

Yeah. That husband doubting his wife until she brought in the “troops” is annoying. That’s gonna be a fun pattern of behavior.

[@crumblemuffin1257]

What the hell lmao, the Story 1 OP even gave him the opportunity to go out and screw around with other women with the open marriage and he still tried to "talk things out" My god man XD

[@randomusername3873]

Eh, but if the betrayed spouse agrees with it, where's the fun of betraying her?

[@ynmonroe]

Oh it wasn't that. He didn't want HER to have the same option. That's usually the case with cheaters. What's okay for them, especially when it's the man cheating on the woman, it's not okay for the partner. She is meant to stay pristine and "his".

[@ynmonroe]

@@randomusername3873 Lol, right?

[@carolroberts4614]

My ex was like that! After our divorce, he used to turn up at random times, I think to check on what I was up to. ( I couldn't stop him because the house was in joint names.When I was going on a solo holiday, he warned me about men who would be looking for someone with a 'free house'!

[@chrisidornigie]

Story 1: kinda feels OP would’ve never followed through but just wanted her ex to suffocate in the pressure of the ultimatum: Justified!

[@Khaisz.]

Story 2: i also remember a recent story where the grandparents (in laws) wanted the kid to have one name, OP refused, and later found out that the grandparents was calling the kid by the name they wanted the kid to have behind OPs back. At least OP husband was on her side in that story and flipped out against the grandparents.

[@oompaloompa83]

Story 3: I don't think OP is the AH here. The fact that she put her daughter straight for thinking she would get any of the money shows that she was wasn't just an evil stepmother type. I have 2 stepmothers (polygamist family) and #1 is the definition of that trope. So, I'm very familiar with it and OP did not come across that way.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I just finished my coffee☕️ and YT recommend me a banging Playlist 👯‍♀️😌 It's rock today. I need this energy because I'm tired AF and ready for the weekend.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@OriginalContent89 happy Friday and a fabulous weekend to you too!

[@teamthoth]

Story about naming the baby.... hell no. Ask the nurses to kick him out of the room when the time to name the baby on paper comes. My nurses were amazing- kicked out everyone I didn't want in there.

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 1. I don't recommend open marriage. This is actually unhealthy to your marriage. Your terms are fair, but it is human to be imperfect and break rules. You both did not start off this relationship with an open marriage, but only led to it by infidelity. This means that there is a lack of trust with deception. No marriage will survive with such dishonesty and lacking trust. Open marriage will require trust and honesty, which he lacks in character and integrity. You should end this misery and find someone who will be truly committed with fidelity towards you. Do not prolong the inevitable - divorce.

[@tallyp.7643]

I'm just glad she took the time to realize that whether they stayed together or not under the proposed arrangement, the kids would STILL be from a broken home. It just wouldn't look obvious to outsiders. This was just an extreme version of the "stay together for the kids" crap that everybody hears about. No one would be happy here because as the kids get older, they'd be seeing what's going on and get suspicious, or get torn up because they have to tell on the parent who got sloppy. How many stories have there been of kids who've seen something they shouldn't have only to go nuts trying to keep the secret? Worse when the parents already know and don't give a damn, THEN WHAT? Nope--best to cut the cord. She clearly wanted divorce and she has all the cards. Play them now, not giving out so much rope she could hang them both a dozen times over down the road... and have the kids despising both.

[@brianaschmidt910]

I'm sorry, I stopped right at the beginning of your post, but the husband cheating kinda means the relationship isn't just unhealthy, it's dead. So.... Op doesn't need to worry about the health of her marriage either way. I think she was trying to be helpful for the kids by not immediately kicking their father out and allowing him to continue seeing his kids everyday, something that's not possible when they divorce. Not strictly for the sake of her children, she's just not willing to pretend to trust her husband for their kids because she went through that herself when her dad cheated on his marriage to her own mother. The ultimatum was probably to see what, if any, option her stbx would choose. (Like divorce or couples counseling) especially since he chose to change their relationship by cheating, she was probably also trying to give him the option to decide what the relationship looked like. When he tried to get her to move past it, she gave him the papers because she couldn't. She gave him a compromise to keep his kids and same address and not have to find a new place quickly, or he could keep his harlot witch Egyptian Queen (history reference) and leave now.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

that stepmom has no self-awareness.

[@mikeremski2102]

Listening to this a couple of times, I think OP fully intended to always divorce "right now". The ultimatum was a test, something that could be used as leverage perhaps. But that's the way I see it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OMG I just watched a video about a lady doing this to her husband. If you can stomach it, it really is the best revenge. Most men honestly can't handle the woman being with another man. Do I think it's healthy? No. But, cheating isn't a deal breaker for everyone. OP was too emotional for the open relationship to work out though. And, that's not bad, it's just true.

[@tully6648]

I feel like OP's ultimatum got right to what cheaters hate the most: having to face the consequences of their own actions. Cheaters typically plead for things to go back to normal, and she said "That will not happen." Of course I'm glad that she said eff it and went for divorce, but I hope it was a devastating rug pull for him.

[@WildWestRosie]

When my dad passed away, we kids (past and present) got nothing. Nada. I later heard from his kid that my disowned brother was upset because he got nothing. I explained that none of us got anything, and he was aggrieved for no reason.

[@paperpager]

Story 2: My name is Gioia, Italian for “joy,” but it’s also my grandmother’s name. She was my dad’s mother and she died only a few years before I was born due to cancer. Growing up, I got to hear stories about her and why my middle name was named after her. I love how Gioia is my middle, I can’t think of any other name as it. It made me angry this husband thought middle names “didn’t matter,” because they do. I agree with all of the video comments, husband needs to wake up into reality again. Hell, I got bullied as a kid for my LAST name even though it’s a very simple last name. Glad for the ending, I guess? Hope the husband understands it was a bad idea, it’s also a red flag husband believed his mother over his wife about how badly she treated his wife.

[@loiracitr]

What a cute name!

[@25Erix]

Story 2: Sometimes it takes two people to convince someone their view is skewed. Nothing wrong with that and it happens. Sure, ideally, you should take your spouse at their word 100% but that's not how the world works and some spouses do shit-stir. A second opinion is never a bad thing.

[@kumikor3392]

Story 3: OP is NTA. They were his children, and he died of cancer without then giving af. No matter what, they disconnected from their dad and let him die without them there. Then they come back just for money? No matter what OP might've done, they abandoned their dad and came back as if they were entitled to his money. OP could never be TA in this, no matter what. They aren't teenagers anymore. They have no excuse to be this cruel. So what OP was petty

[@xelectrix]

If OP is to be completely believed. I'm on the side that there is missing info here. To get to a point where your kids don't come to your death bed... you'd have to have messed up somewhere. Maybe the kids are just bad people, but then again, he raised them.

[@kumikor3392]

​@@xelectrixthe dad didn't raise them because they went with the mom during the divorce, and then they immediately cut him off. It's leading me to believe that the mom got vindictive about how they divorced, and spoke badly of OP. I've seen my own uncle's do that to my grandma, and while she was on her death bed, they still tried to call her for money. Some kids are just a product of their upbringing, but these are adults. I don't understand wanting money from someone you supposedly hate

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: I'm glad OP is divorcing that scum. The open marriage ultimatum would have just ended in disaster. I wish OP a happy future. Story 2: The hubby doesn't respect OP. If it took finding someone else to back OP's story, it will eventually be an issue in the future. Maybe with their kids, Maybe with someone else in their life. Ultimately OP will never be respected. I'm glad they found a compromise though and hope it continues to get better. Story 3: it sounds like the ex was bitter and it didn't matter what OP told the kids, their mom had already filled their heads with lies. I'm sorry for OP's loss but those kids were never around for her hubby. He left the money to her so it's hers to do what she wants. The kids have no say in anything and didn't even come to see him when he was sick. I hope that young girl has a wonderful future ahead of her.

[@moonyollie6977]

I love how Mark tries to be so polite all time time, but then went "Oh SHIT, remember that one story-"

[@carolcarol9982]

First story: OP said she knew her cheating husband wouldn't be able to come to a decision, her "Offer" of an open marriage or divorce was payback.

[@HinataElyonToph]

Because we know he would have never been okay if she was sleeping with someone else.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 2: OP should have recorded MIL when they were alone together to prove to hubby how horrible she was. And if hubby still didn’t stand up for OP against MIL with that proof, then he gets handed divorce papers.

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : An 'Open marriage' is the beginning of the end of a marriage, and just draws out the pain.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, naming a child is a two yeses and one no situation in a healthy relationship. You said no to her name, now he has to get on board with picking a name you both agree to. If he doesn't soon, it will be on you to choose a name independently (only in the case of him refusing to consider names other than his mom's).

[@peterhobson3262]

Last story: OP wouldn't tell step-children she had money because why? At least the kids wouldn't have called her a gold digger and, since they're step-children and OP has a daughter, they wouldn't have a realistic chance of any inheritance from OP.

[@buckeyenative1365]

And what happens when they find out she has her own money? They would begin demanding she buy their love. They would share that info with the rest of their family who would then feel entitled to her money. No one has the right to know how much money you have in exchange for treating you with respect.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Couldn’t agree more with the comments, everything said was precise and eye-opening.

[@albertgongora6944]

What I don't get about the original poster in the second story is why did she marry this guy and have kids with him if she knew he was never going to defend her against his mother like I gave you love and care for somebody but that's if that loving here comes out of something in the relationship that makes sense but are they start showing toxic behaviour like not having a spine to defend you against their friends family members or their own parents then why are you staying stuck in a relationship like that like why are you staying in front of a speeding train that's about to hit you when they don't even care for you I literally don't understand like why people saying these types of relationships thinking that marriage and children are going to change them when it starts to make things worse and then you start seeing it more and more and more this true version of themself that was created by their friends or family members are their parents maybe that's just me but hopefully in the update there's a solution in the story for the original poster and her husband because I know in all honesty this is somebody I would not choose to settle down with or remotely have kids with

[@AleksandarBradaric]

6:08 Cheating makes relationships stronger....WTF...XD

[@juliearmfield2634]

You can tell that, nor was a gaslighting cheater

[@christopheravila7989]

Story3 Screw those kids, their father was dying and they only came around for his estate.

[@jackwatt8988]

2: I disagree with the comments that say they could have cleared up the misconception when the kids were teens. So, OP should have told them she had her own money? How does that help. They think that a woman who stays home with her kid is a gold digger. They didn't deserve to know. They either can accept that OP doesn't work and their misconception that their father pays the bills or not. There is nothing wrong with one person in a relationship not working if that's okay with the partner. It really had nothing to do with the kids. They were mean to OP because they thought women who didn't work were useless money hungry gold diggers, they are shitty people and their misconceptions about the world aren't OPs problem to clear up. The issue is how they treated OP, telling them that OP actually has her own money doesn't solve anything, they are still awful people who think it's okay to shame a woman and call her names because she doesn't work. Fuck them.

[@Digitalfairy]

Well said! I was frankly getting sick of the insular bullies throwing out baseless accusations of OP poisoning her husband against the oversized EKS.

[@shebakoby]

I guess the Husband's ex didn't get believed about Mildred either or instinctively just never said anything because the husband was too in love with his mother, but when two people confronted him at the same time about it, then of course he had to realize "Holy moly my mother has been dead X years, it doesn't make sense for them BOTH to be lying about it now."

[@TessuDraws]

Last story: I think the kids never contacting their dad when he was terminally ill, never taking care of him and only showing up for the funeral to ask for money speaks for itself. Unless my dad was an abusive piece of shit, I would want to spend time with him if he was actively dying. And if he WAS an abusive piece of shit, I wouldn't want his money. It would just leave a bad taste in my mouth. The kids didn't care about their dad dying, only the money they'd get out of it.

[@kumikor3392]

Thank you! It's why OP could never be TA in this story. They don't deserve it, and I would've been petty too. Why'd they even show up?

[@pippo17173]

Something tells me that all this accusations are from the ex wife here. She is the real gold digger and the kids are way too poison to even think straight.

[@persephoneszeliga]

When the Mark 14:32 with just 2 dots as eyes is shown, it cracks me up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@natas-h4]

I immediately thought of the story with the kid the husband wanted to name “Valentino”. He forged her signature on the birth certificate while she was resting.

[@aduckofsomesort]

19:50 he left his money to his wife. If he wanted his children to have anything, they would’ve been written in the will.

[@andredunbar3773]

11:18 I think it was the story where the OP's sister gave birth on Valentine's Day and the baby's father (along with his parents) named the baby "Valentino." The father and his parents managed to sneak away with the birth certificate and forge OP's sisters name on it, naming the baby "Valentino." It later came out that the guy was cheating if OP's sister and he disappeared, refusing to pay child support. OP got revenge sometime later by convincing the cheater's new girlfriend (who was pregnant when they met) to give the baby OP's sister's name, as a reminder to pay his child support. As for the baby, the name was legally changed soon after his father disappeared, though the family occasionally calls him "Val" as a nickname.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

It's a hella of an awesome morning! Good Morning waffle gang, hope you are having a great start to your day! My coffee is tasting great and of course I am loving being here with all of you and listening to Mark narrate these stories. He simply is the best! Good Morning Poppy, my little Hsrry says hi.❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜🧇🧇

[@Elizabeth-ud8su]

I had a situation similar to the first. We divorced but in retrospect, we should have stayed for the kids.

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@Digitalfairy]

Aren't you the same boy spamming video with the EXACT same comment over and oer again?

[@GBunnyG]

Story 3: Is it wrong how satisfying I find that?

[@MsTemptation]

S3:NTA. The step kids weren’t preteens when their parents divorced and when their dad remarried. Teenagers can be very cruel aholes and if op kept receiving nothing but their cruelty then the step kids are to blame for this. Funny how people always want to toss out the they’re kids card…so. Those kids had two parents and it was up to their biological parents to teach them how to be good human beings. Also when parents decide to fund your college or university you people should be very grateful and feel humbled by this gesture. You’re not entitled to your parents money after you become an adult especially since this is what independence from your parents actually looks like. Anyway, op didn’t owe his adult children anything and she did inform her daughter of the same when her also expressed her own entitlement. The money was ops’ and she decided to give it to someone who asked for nothing in return.

[@skyelindsey687]

There’s always “missing missing reasons” when a parent goes LC/NC with their kids especially when a step parent is involved. They want to find any excuse to make the parents the antagonist in the story when it’s simply as straight forward as the kids were assholes and he told them if they can’t respect his wife then that’s it. OP doesn’t need to tell his children her financial status just to get them off her back. Anyone who says that she should’ve are gold diggers overlooking the fact that they’re crying over the $25k left to OP was “theirs” when it wasn’t. Imagine how they would’ve reacted should OP tell them she has money but they can’t have any.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@GamerGeekGirl651]

Story1: what the actual heckity heck did I just listen too??? What exactly was her logic in all this by issuing this ultimatum??? I was relieved to hear that she decided to divorce this guy.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

How did that woman stay married to a man whose mother bullied her while he did nothing?!

[@angeloliver7613]

That one commenter isn't wrong, a relationship can survive infedility, BUT only if the cheater comes forward and shows true remorse and not gaslighting and lieing. Op made the right decision.

[@juanhaines7295]

Good day to everyone

[@shenanigans8258]

Hey Mark! Have a great day you cheeky so and so!😉

[@youngcanuck5397]

Story 2: that guy has a near obsession with his mom and it’s just weird. Story 3: if that husband wanted his children to have his money, he would have left them some but he didn’t. He left it to his wife. And if the OP wants to give that money to a woman who helped them out and had a pretty big influence on their lives, then that’s her choice.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

The baby name story- maybe OP tracked ex to share stories about how his mom was horrible to ex and OP and naming her after a woman that didn’t like the idea of naming her daughter after a mean MIL. Glad they accepted a compromise. Also I know losing a parent is hard and wanting to honor her. Reading that he would visit her after work and stay until visiting hours were over; made me tear up. That’s why I understand his disbelief for OP when he downplayed her feelings (still wrong). He didn’t want to believe that his mom (his first love, mothers will always be in a son heart and vice versa) would hurt his wife bc if she loved her son she couldn’t have someone HE loved.

[@LadySynako]

For the story reference of story 2; it's the second story on a video where a son gave his mom a book about cheating. To recap: the husband named his son after his late brother because the brother was the golden child. And he wanted to do that in favor of his parents to get on there good graces and such.

[@alenasenie6928]

Story 2 "no one cares about middle names" my sister and one friend go by their middle name.

[@raggarbergman]

Every time they say "think of the children" I hear the pastor's wife from The Simpsons 😅

[@owl7072]

Story 3: "They were kids!" And then where were they when their father was literally dying? Op shouldn't be having to show all of her bank accounts and statements to prove she's worthy of respect and being treated civilly, but I'm not gonna focus on that part. How are you gonna sit here and act like Op is being mean by viewing them the way she does when their father had cancer and they didn’t show their faces _once_ until _after_ he died, and it was to ask for _money._

[@MeerkatGirl93]

Story 2: My dad did something similar with my name. My parents had agreed on a name (Rebecca) and my dad took me to get registered. It wasn't until 2 weeks later that my mum found my birth certificate with a different name on it. She spent those 2 weeks telling everyone my name was rebecca and then had to correct everyone. On top of that I have the exact same initials as my older sister which has always made things like receiving letters a complete nightmare.

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both a fantastic Friday! ❤️🤗

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy Friday Telinha, have a great weekend!

[@alannahd.7417]

I hate the argument of “I don’t want my kids growing up in a broken home” it’s already broken, do you really think your kids don’t pick up on the fact that something is wrong between you?

[@Henry.25]

Story 1: OP's ultimatum was never about an open relationship, it was the perfect excuse to corner her husband and basically impose a divorce without him being able to contest it. So, when asked about giving him a second chance, she can say with certainty that she did gave him a chance, but he didn't want to accept it. It's simply to save face with her friends and family. (I could be wrong, but that's the vibe I got)

[@heidifruchtl354]

The inheritance story. My parents lived below their means. They had a house that was in a location, location, location and sold for a large amount after dad passed. My sister is still reeling over the amounts that she is handling for mom. We are not fighting, not worth it.

[@helenlewis2510]

Story 2 why do women let men that obviously don’t respect them impregnate them?

[@jrod1591]

Why do you think there are so many single mothers and kids raised in one parent households? Guess they like assholes, so I don’t really feel sympathy for it. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 1: the terms "gaslight" and "still want to be married to husband" do not go well together. Glad OP wised up.

[@kaitohkid7229]

Ahh finally I read a story before you posted it😅....🎉

[@stan8479]

I think what happened in Story 2 is that OP's husband initially didn't believe OP about his mother when she was the only one saying MIL wasn't great, but realised he was wrong when a second (ex)partner corroborated OP's story.

[@defuncttoad9552]

I've never been a fan of naming children after someone else.

[@booklover5238]

I'm sorry, who the hell's relationship got STRONGER after cheating?! Wtf 😂

[@LordBison98]

Story 3. When they grew up they could've came back and apologized. They could've spend days with their father. They didn't, but then once he died they came to claim the inheritance. NTA. YTAs comments would probably treat their step parents and parents like that and then would be all surprised pikachu face once they are left with nothing.

[@mishratheforsaken]

So last story: I’m curious if OP’s child got anything from the estate. Like not even talking money, just SOMETHING. Because it sounds like no one got anything besides OP’s money.

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Story #2 At least she is happy with the name now. I have my doubts as to whether the marriage will last given his gaslighting about MIL's treatment of OP.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 3 nta I heard this one before. Don't bite the hand that pays you.