I Told My Boyfriend To Get Rid Of His Dog As It Scares My Son r/Relationships

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1 OP: “At least everyone agrees with me.” Reddit: “bitch, where?” That last commenter to her post had me CACKLING

[@littlemisstink921]

lmao Me too. All I could think was “Yes! Go off!” At least there was as happy of an ending as possible. If someone said I had to choose between them and my dog, I’d ask if they wanted me to help them pack. I don’t trust people that don’t like dogs.

[@EphemeraImaging]

@@littlemisstink921 I would be packing for them.

[@Ospyro3em]

Well if OP in Story 1 wasn't an A-hole before, she proved herself to be one in the updates with how she spoke to the commenters. If she had just accepted that their wants/needs were not compatible, fine, but she still acts like she's completely blameless. She sounds like a delight.

[@catherinerawson3559]

1st story: Don't let the door hit you in rear on the way out.

[@BenunoKagaho]

Guess we know the reason for the divorce: it's HER way or she walks away. Ex-husband made the right choice, and ex-bf dodged a bullet.

[@pippo17173]

@@BenunoKagaho I feel so bad for the kid as I can see a future of being an entitled brat that ends relationship because of his fear of dogs.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I'm glad OP's ex and his dog managed to get away from her. They deserve better.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

For real though. She keeps saying that she’s fine her boyfriend shows her dog over her son but her post and the update just gives off scorn to me. And she never does come across as a bitch with how she talks to commenters.

[@sonofhell98]

Story 3: nta/esh. The daughter is acting like a spoiled brat- throwing away the lunches op makes for her because it doesnt match what her dad can afford, not understanding that she has to clean her own room because OP isnt rich like her dad and step mom, crying to the step mom every time something doesnt go her way. I can't believe the amt of people who are calling OP the AH for not providing the same privileges that the dad can afford just to appease the spoiled daughter. OP needs to have a sit down with the dad and step mom as well as the daughter to get her to understand why things are different at her house.

[@LinneAzalea]

You don't get it, we're not calling the OP the AH because she can't give the girl a privileged life but because she literally abandoned her child for 14 years and then force her to move in with her. Did they even ask the daughter if she wanted it? She more than old enough to have her opinion on this respected. The OP isn't the girl's mother, the stepmother is. OF COURSE she will be calling her mom when someone treats her in a way she doesn't like. Who else would she call? She is used to a certain life and now she's forced out of that life - not for her own sake, but for someone who's practically a stranger to her's sake, just because this person birthed her. This has actually nothing at all to do with the money or being spoiled or anything. Someone who's not her parent is trying to raise her and tell what to do. Sure it's not nice throwing away the food, and she's definitely spoiled, but that's for her actual parents to deal with. She shouldn't even be living with the OP to begin with. The OP made a choice 14 years ago and now she needs to reap what she has sown, by sticking to her choice and continue to only have the occasional visits. If she wants more and the daughter also wants more - then she can meet her more often in the week but let her stay at her real home.

[@saratronus]

@@LinneAzalea So you would prefer a child to live in poverty instead Living with the father full time. to mention in the post OP does say that she visits her child. And honestly the kid sounds spoiled to Ohio couldn't get steak dinners so she threw out a perfectly good food to order her stepmom to make her a steak dinner She had to clean up after herself instead of having a maid service do it for her. Like these are petty and bratty to complain about.

[@LinneAzalea]

@@saratronus Yes, she seems spoiled. But it's irrelevant due to the much larger issue at hand here.

[@saratronus]

@@LinneAzalea The largest issue at hand here is that the girl didn't get steak dinner for lunch literally her main complaint besides that there You're just grown adults being grown adults Raising a kid not every parent has the luxury of skipping work for a Without any penalties or bring a super SAHM

[@LinneAzalea]

@@saratronus No, that's not the largest issue. The largest issue is that she has been taken from her parents. The birthmother is not her mother, yet she wants to raise her and tell her what to do. That ship has sailed. I can only imagine how traumatic this must be for the girl

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 2: Unfortunately, the parents are likely to force future niece into a dress for the wedding. But you know what she will remember? She will remember OP telling her she didn't have to wear a dress and she will remember OP telling her that her maid of honour would be wearing a suit and she will remember looking at androgynous options with OP. She will remember that OP saw her discomfort, jumped to her defense, and offered her unconditional support. She will remember that OP is a safe person to go to who will not judge her. Keep being that person, OP.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

It would suck for her if they did, but also kinda like the people being like "Bridezilla for good!"

[@arleneclark6369]

I don't think dresses are an option as maid of honor and all other bridesmaids will be wearing pants of some kind, that's why the mother wants the bride to force all the other bridesmaids to wear dresses, so niece will have to. So just to have her daughter( 1 person) wear a dress for a day she wants OP to force dresses on all her bridesmaids?? Entitled much?? Stick to your guns it's your wedding have them wear what you want, the only people who have a problem with it aren't even in the wedding party so they have no say.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

If the girl's parents force her into a dress, OP can just have her change into pants before the wedding.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

I thought at first OP was going to kick her niece out of the wedding party because she wasn’t feminine enough. I’m glad i was wrong. 😊

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Even if OP did do matching dresses, I bet she would of stood up for her niece for wearing what she wants every day that isn't her wedding, and let her wear what she would of wanted to the rehearsal dinner as rebellion.

[@yukiochan1]

The moms story, I think everyone is overlooking what stort of things the daughter is asking for. I have my own children. My kids don't get homemade steak, homemade salad dressing and 10 course lunches either. Having to be at work at 6am i wouldn't have time nor do I have the money. I guess that means I'm unfit? Could OP be the AH for giving up custody? I only say maybe. Sounds like there's a large financial difference between birth parents and mom wasn't in the right place mentally or emotionally for a kid, so she did what was best for her. I can't blame the daughter in some ways for thinking birth mom should be doing what stepmom did when they're not in the same situation. At home she doesn't have to clean. Stepmother didn't work so going to ANY and all after-school things are much easier because there's no work to schedule around. Sound like OP is a retail worker who has to ask 5 months in advance for a chance at a day off. Working full time, can't even afford the ingredients that stepmother does. And as a working parent, even if she had full custody from birth, there's no way she'd have the option of staying home for every illness, creating elaborate meals or forego cleaning the house herself because she doesn't have money for a maid. OP isn't mad because the daughter isn't sobbing with tears to be with her, it's because her daughter, who had lived a privileged life so far, is naively comparing them on very unequal grounds and calling her shit for it. I get she wants time with her mom so asked her to stay home. But if she did, there'd be no roof over her head. Most normal people would not get up to make such elaborate meals for themselves for lunch even if they could afford it. Going out to eat before school can add up quick. Feels to me all the things the daughter is pissed on revolve around having the money and alot of free time like the stay at home stepmother had but working mom doesn't. It's a damn challenge being a working mom, more so when on a tight budget. If this was a 'rich grandparents spoil kids so kids only want to live with grandma while I spend the whole years savings on Christmas for my kidsbut it's not as much as grandma' it wouldn't get so much criticism. Even OP giving up the daughter, might have been the right thing. Let's remember. it sounds like dad's rich. OP could have taken him to the cleaners if she kept custody, used that money to improve her own life. But she didn't. She knew she wasn't in the right place mentally/emotionally and did the right thing. It took her a long time to get her shit in gear but she's trying. But trying to upkeep a daughter who expects caviar when you're living off Ramen is pretty much impossible. Everyone's right that at this point OP is like a birth mother of an adoptee and it's on the child if it goes further BUT I find it SAD that this girl had the idea that 'mom working instead of staying with me means she doesn't love me' or 'mom didn't pack me a rich lunch. Anyone who gives their child a turkey sandwich doesn't love their child!' One grew up rich, one poor. Why is it the poor always get how the rich live but the the rich think anything less than what they have means everyone hates them? I can only view it as ESH, mom for not trying more sooner, dad and stepmom for not bothering to even explain that there's different lifestyles out there. Mom's working for rent Can't show up to every function or hire a maid. That she should appreciate what she had but understand that having to live with less didn't mean there's no love.

[@AMV_KINGDOM_mv]

I have to be honest when I say this you do understand this is the equivalent to a deadbeat dad coming back into a child life right and then not being able to afford the lifestyle the daughter is now accustomed to the child owes this woman nothing when you give up a child that child is no longer yours period she fought for visitation for herself not for the child so it could only be yta period you can't force time with a stranger

[@catsithx]

This!!!

[@mbyerly9680]

And OP was very young while the guy who knocked her up already had a well-paying job and should know better about birth control.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

I think daughter would still come at OP with hostility if class difference wasn't the issue... She only visited two times a year before, and gave him full custody from birth when courts ABSOLUTELY favor women... An update lets us know she's only doing this because Amy wants to adopt her and asked OP to give up her parental rights. This more time together stuff is just her competing, considering she should of been more involved the whole time...

[@damien678]

The daughter has to clean up after herself and get *gasp!!!* a completely ordinary lunch. OP Worst Mother Of The Year confirmed 🙄 like ok, I do get there's complicated feelings here for the daughter, but... seriously. and I feel bad for OP because she was 19 when she gave birth. I can understand her getting a wake-up call from step mum wanting to adopt the daughter and feeling like she's at the age were she can try to mother her, now. maybe she's wanted to mother more but felt awkward before she realised it could be too late. of course if it doesn't work out... she'll probably have to let her daughter go. I just wish they could all get therapy for this, tbh

[@hhhhhhhh704]

1st OP is crazy. Literally ignores all the YTA comments and only comments on the NTA or anyone siding with her. Feel so bad for her son who gotta deal with her

[@definitelyarealperson248]

I know. I loved the comment telling her to learn to read and count.

[@azurekite3870]

yea,to have a bad mom like her too

[@ljd6711]

@@azurekite3870 how is she a bad mum she put her kid first

[@joshuarichards8065]

@@ljd6711 because rather than teaching coping mechanisms for dealing with a phobia she would rather coddle the child instead.

[@motomax_99]

@@ljd6711 she isn't taking any responsibility for her actions, if she doesn't do that then how will she teach her kid to do that in the future? Sounds like a bad parent to me.

[@Cendy777]

I remember reading the 3rd post in Reddit. The OP admitted that the only reason they went for partial custody is not because they moved closer, but that the stepmom asked to sign away the rights (when OP was still visiting rarely). Instead of recognizing she was barely played a role in daughter's role and the stepmom is the mom, OP decided to be petty and sue for partial custody. That reads as someone who never even really wanted Natalie back in her life, only OP wanting to be petty

[@Buff_Helpy]

I love how she totally Karen's out during the update. At least the trash took itself out.

[@Likeomgitznich]

Fun fact: an arguement requires 2 or more different ideas that are trying to be persuaded. It wasn’t an argument. It was OP’s SIL bitching into a void.

[@ElizaBetsy_]

Not entirely true. An interpersonal argument does require two points of view. But, the other definition of argument, for instance a legal argument, is just laying out a reason, or set of reasons, intending to prove something is wrong. It doesn't really require another point of view, it does sort of imply one though.

[@Snipergoat1]

No openness to persuasion is required for an argument to exist. Although it requires some in order for it to end without escalation.

[@Poeticfloetic]

It's *argument. No e needed.

[@johnf.kennedy7683]

Story 1: YTA. NEVER force someone to pick between you and their pet, 99% of the time you will lose this battle lol. AND THE WAY OP LIED IN THE UPDATE LMAO?? Did she think nobody would go check??

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

And the person who checked was appropriately savage.

[@sophiescott143]

Story 3: I love how everyone in the comments is telling OP that she is the asshole for not leaving work (which could get her fired, or make her unable to pay bills) to comfort a 14 year old with a sore throat and spend all her time cooking extravagant expensive lunches she may not be able to afford anyway. Whatever flaws OP may have, she can't do the impossible. What is she supposed to do? Quit her job so she can spend as much time doting as the step mom? I doubt that's an option.

[@LinneAzalea]

No, she's not supposed to do that, she's supposed to not try and be a parent at all. OP made her choice 14 years ago, she didn't want to be a mom. So someone else had to step in an be a mom for her child. The real mom here is the stepmom. So what the OP should do is not to force the girl to live with her one week of the month, but to rather try and meet her more often - IF the daughter wants to. The whole thing is bizarre. You don't get to abandon your child for 14 years and then just show up and wanting them to live with you and just expecting the child to be satisfied. The OP literally forced her from her home and her parents. For what? Definitely not for the daughter's sake and well-being.

[@saratronus]

@@LinneAzalea People change.

[@saratronus]

Yeah I have to strongly disagree with reddit here some people can't afford to skip A-day at work. And the daughter does sound a bit ungrateful Because OP still makes her lunch breakfast dinner takes her to school want to go to school events and it's there for her but because she can't afford a house cleaner or steak lunch the girls upset?? It just sounds like a spoiled rich girl to me

[@LinneAzalea]

@@saratronus Yes, they do. But just because you change, you are NEVER entitled to be trusted by the people you once betrayed/abandoned. So it's irrelevant here, if she has changed. It's 100% up to the daughter if she wants to have a relationship or not

[@saratronus]

@@LinneAzalea So you're one of those people who would like to see a child suffer in poverty instead of being with someone that could Financially support them OP gave up her Her rights is apparent but she was still in her daughter's life She didn't technically abandon her. She was 19 could not support a child so she gave it to the partner who had the money and the resources to give the child. And the only issue I see here is that the daughter expects a expects a working woman to provide the exact same luxury as a rich Sahm Because most of the things she is complaining about is Literally hold no weight because op is providing that but not in the same luxury sorry she couldn't have crime Steak for lunch And have a maid follow her in cleaning up after her everywhere she went she just lived a middle class child's life for A-day through a tantrum then left.

[@adiarobinson4743]

Story 3 the mother is NTA she doesn’t have the resources that the step mother has. She is trying her best with what she has. The daughter needs to be sit down with all the parents and be explained that her mother doesn’t make the same money as her father. That she has to work and can’t just take off of work when she wants to. She is trying with what she has and you can’t expect her to be able to do the same things your step mother can.

[@atinyevil1383]

Right? Idk what the reddit comments are on about. OP literally cannot provide the lifestyle she’s accustom to. Amy is a SAHM, OP works so she doesn’t have time to prepare Amy a 4 Star lunch or stay home with her when she’s sick. Also, the comments call daughter having to pick up after herself as “not having her needs met? Wtf? Daughter is 14, she can make her own lunch, stay home by herself, and clean up after herself.

[@randomusername3873]

Giving up the child at birth and seeing her a couple of times a year for 14 years is trying her best?

[@clownrat5759]

@@randomusername3873Um.. a year late, but it’s better than *never?* Yeah.

[@lemondropped8426]

50 second in, the man has a dog named cat. I know it’ll turn terrible later but that gave me a smile

[@clairebear-96]

“what goes through their head? Obviously not very much” DAMN roasted lmfaoo

[@roelthas]

Wow, to me the daughter had unrealistic expectations and I don't know if I would call OP an a-hole.🤔

[@AIBot929]

That would go vice versa as well the difference being one is a child tho, so not expected to be the most reasonable. The op is the adult and should be aware of the displacement she is causing by suddenly wanting to parent

[@tailsimp]

I think the daughter is a bit unreasonable but also throwing in your daughter's face "I cant keep up with her so go home" is not an appropriate way to handle it. This is extra true when she's not feeling well and is used to having her parent there for comfort. Does it suck that the daughter is being a brat sometimes? Sure. But this is part of being an actual parent and not the birth mother who visits a few times a year. She needs to be understanding, explain, and if needed possibly get some family therapy for herself and her daughter. Saying something like that to her daughter is an asshole move to me, even if the frustration is understandable.

[@Grace_x68]

It sounds like our mere working class mortals trying to keep the Kardashians happy

[@queencatherineofaragon938]

Op tried to sell a dog: without a discussion with the real owner, without a price, and without even CHECKING the people she was selling to was even safe/had the means to care for a dog. She’s an AH on multiple lvls, and it’s clear she’s impulsive, reckless,stubborn and overly prideful, glad her bf chose the dog over her.

[@briansmaller7443]

That last story - I would turn it around. Go and set up a picnic on their front lawn and start grilling something. Invite friends over. Then tell them that you last neighbours had no problem with you doing that because they had a nice front lawn and you didn't.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Wow, that first OP is super delusional.

[@dracawyn]

Story 1: it was a complicated no one's the AH until OP found the couple to rehome the dog without telling her BF until they were literally on their way. Then she became a major AH.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed.

[@dracawyn]

Also, if his mom was willing to take the dog, why not just basically set up custody of the dog with her opposite of OP's custody schedule with her son? From there, you could try to gradually introduce OP's son to the dog to help alleviate his fear. Helping OP's son overcome his fear of dogs feels like it should be a higher priority here. As an autistic person myself, I cannot begin to tell you the number of ways having a service/support animal or even just an emotional support animal can improve his life and make things easier.

[@Flakey101]

@@dracawyn The trouble is if the son is a low to mid functioning autistic child it is very hard, to impossible, to over come this fear. None of the normal ways to reduce the fear response will tend to work. I know of very dedicated parents that have tried every thing they and experts have come up with to do it, and nothing has worked.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@Flakey101 Exactly. Autism can cause cognitive rigidity, making it impossible to change the child’s mind.

[@wmdkitty]

No, she started out as TA, by not getting her kid into appropriate therapy to deal with his dog problem.

[@justin09756]

Last Story: "the previous owner said we could use the pool." "Am I the previous owner?" "They said-" "Am. I. The. Previous. Owner?" "No." "There's your answer."

[@bun04y]

I find it highly doubtful that the previous owner gave them any permission. I think the EM is just saying that in an attempt to persuade the OP into giving in. Time to call the cops and/or put up an electric fence.

[@mbyerly9680]

OP needs cameras and needs to call the police every time she has evidence of trespass. It will not end well for her if those kids drown. Plus, insurance may not pay because she has no proof she tried to stop them from entering her pool. She could lose everything.

[@kitarrah1422]

@@bun04y When I was a kid, our neighbors were elderly and would leave for the summer. They said that we could use their pool as long as my parents maintained the chemicals and kept it clean while they were gone each year. It was awesome! But when they sold the house, the arrangement ended and we didn't try to make the new owners keep letting us use the pool. So, it DOES happen that some people are willing to allow neighbors to use the pool if they help out.

[@indigowulf]

I had an arrangement with this one dude one time, it was a friends with benefits thing. So, because I had that arrangement, I expect you to be naked in my bed by 5:00. What do you mean, my arrangement with him doesn't apply to you? You just set the precedent that all arrangements with anyone apply to us. I'm just following your precedent. So, are you wearing the strap on, or am I?

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Story 1: “I just didn’t want my son to be scared in his own home”. Many comments agreed with that on OP, agreeing that her son comes first for her. It’s just that she shouldn’t have arranged for Cat to be picked up without her BF’s consent (which, btw is a major F.Y. To him and also one to the people who’ve wanted to adopt him. I highly doubt they knew the whole story). The fact that she’s not even acknowledging it says a lot.

[@darkmask5933]

Both of them suck, OP overstepped by going behind boyfriend's back, but boyfriend sucks by being wishywashy knowing he was keeping a mother from her child, boyfriend kept saying he would work on it, but it seems like he already knew he was keeping the dog and was just hurting OP by that point.

[@aikikaname6508]

@@darkmask5933 Boyfriend was being strong armed into it by his girlfriend and had only just lost his brother and I think was wrestling with it still. I don’t think he’s TA for that and gf wasn’t exactly coming through with compromises. I think he made the right call

[@darkmask5933]

@@aikikaname6508 what was OP supposed to do in the meantime though? Abandon her child for her boyfriend's grief?

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@darkmask5933 How do we know she’s even telling the truth to begin with? She seems like the kind of person to lie about anything and everything just to get what she wants.

[@darkmask5933]

@@itsjustmaddisen I can only judge based on the information given, if you're gonna claim OP is a liar just because no reason you just want it that way, then I cannot argue with you.

[@kayemckeeth2301]

Story one: definitely YTA. Without a doubt. Instead of teaching her son that the dog was safe and fine to interact with, she chose to try to get rid of it behind his back.

[@maddy8328]

Ikr, it's horrid.

[@mindyschocolate]

Lazy parenting for sure.

[@ZPokemonfanA]

I checked OP's other comments... she's extremely delusional. She seems to think that "most people agree" with her, but she only seems to notice the comments that even SLIGHTLY agree with her, despite the massive amount of downvotes and massive upvotes to all the YTA posts.

[@Flakey101]

You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to teach an autistic person that. I have had one child client ride her bike into a river to get away from a dog and had to be saved by her carer and a bystander. I have 4 other autistic children with the same fear, and nothing. I repeat nothing, that their parents or carers or therapists have suggested, or tried, work to get that fear away.

[@Flakey101]

@@mindyschocolate Ok explain to me how you teach an autistic child not to fear a dog, while noting all normal fear reducing strategies will work on them. Please tell me how you would solve it because I have 5 sets of parents and their children would love to know your strategy to solving it.

[@beccaf262]

Story 3 makes me sad cause given the ages of the OP and the dad it’s hardly fair to expect them to be at the same financial position. Tbh sounds like the daughter is kinda spoiled expecting the lunches she gets from a mum who doesn’t work or do housework and has the means to provide them. You can’t pretend amy and birth Mum are on equal footing. The daughter is still a child and won’t necessarily understand these factors but OP working at a supermarket vs two parents, one can afford to not work and take the daughter out for breakfast everyday.

[@LinneAzalea]

She does sound spoiled, but that's actually irrelevant. Her birthmom abandoned her at birth, has only seen her a couple of times a year, and now wants to have her a full week every month? The OP isn't the mom, the stepmother is. But now she's trying to be her mom? No, that woman already gave that up. She should honestly not even try to have her daughter over for 1 week at all, UNLESS the daughter wants it. The daughter is more than old enough to have her opinion respected on this and she definitely doesn't seem too happy about the arrangement. The OP should instead maybe see if they can meet more often, without having the daughter live with her. The birthmother honestly seems very entitled, that somehow just because she birthed the child she's entitled to have her 1 week of the month after having abandoned her for like 14 years. The stepmother and the father seem like amazing people for even allowing this woman to force her way back into their daughter's life like this

[@atinyevil1383]

@@LinneAzalea it’s not irrelevant, though. Because the post isn’t about OP leaving her daughter when she was born, the post was about if OP was TA for not providing her what Amy does. That was the whole point of this. Judging OP on whether or not she left is the irrelevant part.

[@LinneAzalea]

@@atinyevil1383 It's irrelevant, because the OP is just deflecting and making the issue out be her lack money when in reality that's not the issue. We're not judging her on how she left, but what she's doing RIGHT NOW to someone else's child. Imagine this scenario, someone is asking "am I the a-hole for not giving my kids the candy they want?" but from the story we can tell that the person asking isn't even giving them food. Who cares about the candy when they kids aren't being fed at all? That's why it's irrelevant in this story. The daughter is 100% acting up for having been forcefully taken from her parents. She may be spoiled, but that's none of her birthmom's business. And had the birthmom ACTUALLY been her mom then the girl also wouldn't have acted up like that

[@SXLLYSTRXNG]

Im just confused why OP thought it was a good idea 2 even attempt 2 get back in the daughter's life when she literally said she wasn't ready 2 have a kid??? Like relax OP, she has a stable family away from u, u can pull away completely now why r u doing this 2 urself LMAO

[@cheskydivision]

At 14 op daughter is spoiled but also old enough to see the status difference in each home. It’s all great to be a perfect mom when financially supported by hubby and having a house keeper.

[@Ryokamen]

Unpopular opinion: The story with the mom vs step mom. I think no one's the jerk here. There is clearly a communication issue. The mom / Dad and step mom need to sit down and have a discussion. The child doesn't understand there is a huge wage gap. The mom mentioned working at a grocery store, compared to the dad who has alot of money. At 14 regardless of income you should know to at least clean up after yourself. The difference in food should be expected, and the step mom, as much as she wants to help her step daughter, seems to be only making the situation worse. A grocery store employee may not be able to take a day off work, much less afford to send the child nice cooked meals.There should be ground rules set out for each house, as well as therapy for the daughter to help her with this situation. Everyone needs to get together and talk

[@Streetwisefirst]

Exactly. The step mom seems like a great person, but she’s creating someone who will be spoiled and not understand not everyone is well off. I hope they are able to work it out so the daughter can grow to be well rounded

[@squirrel670]

@@Streetwisefirst people are calling op controlling for wanting the daughter to pick up after herself and not throw away food she is paying for and making for her.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@squirrel670 It sounds as if there are a *lot* of people in the comments on Reddit who are just as spoiled and entitled as the 14 year old daughter. The bio mom simply can't take off work to say with a 14 year old who has a sore throat. She's barely scraping by as it is. The kid is perfectly capable of staying home alone and by that age she should at least be able to open a can of condensed chicken noodle soup, pour it into a saucepan, add a can of water, heat it up, and ladle it into a bowl or big mug. Stepmom is spoiling the kid terribly, probably hoping to make being with the dad and stepmom so comfortable the kid completely rejects the bio mom.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Do people forget how OP just gave up custody though? Courts ABSOLUTELY favor women, and OP didn't do a damn thing! OP needs to accept she just doesn't wanna do it. Because Nat, of course, is testing if OP seriously wants her in her life, even if she doesn't know it. OP just pushed her away and didn't apologize. Kids aren't perfect, and OP made zero mentions of trying to communicate with her baby daddy and Amy.

[@squirrel670]

@@bunnyslippers191 i bet if op was rich and giving the daughter a better life with the ex being poor, they wouldn't act like this

[@rustyshackleford1697]

I bust out laughing at the update comment on story 1. She's gonna need some ice for that burn

[@ddjohnson3961]

Happy Mother’s Day to Everyone!!!! Hope you are doing ok Mark today!!! Story one YTA.

[@MarkNarrations]

Pretty good thank you, how about yourself Diderune?

[@ddjohnson3961]

@@MarkNarrations Doing good. May have a cold or it could be my allergies. Yay Spring/Summer😆.

[@fcold9402]

1. YTA. It was not your dog to give away. It was his dog to find a new home for.

[@OhHeyItIsNano]

Obvious verdict aside in story 1, poor kid will grow up with a huge fear of dogs. Hope he makes friends that will help him tackle the fear as it sounds like his mother will do little to nothing about it. Edit: Removed the extra space and I would like to comment on story 2. The one time I see where being a Bridezilla is a good thing. You go girl!

[@HearsayTheySay]

I blame mothers like her, who are *TOO ACCOMMODATING* for children on the spectrum. I feel it makes Children with autism either worse or stereotypical.

[@greyscalesx]

Bruh that's not how autism works, it's not some phobia. I am on the spectrum, I have the same issue. I not terrified anymore, highly likely bc I am no longer a kid and can dela better and they look pretty rad..from afar. The sensory issues that go with it will never change bc a dog will always be a dog. The fur, the licking, the loud barking the zoomies. It's unbearable for the oversensory issues only and you become a anxious and startling less after a while. Like naahhh. If you want to have an idea there's plenty of ppl who talk about what it's like to live with oversensory issues or autism on yt. I still think the ones who are crazy are the ones saying YTA. It's a clear ESH. Her fault is going behind his back and putting his back against the wall to decide, when he apparently was only considering it. But everyone here, seems to like to ignore, how the guy didn't even consult her either when he brought the dog in. If he could consider, like he said, to try to find a friend to re-home him now, he could have done it at the start and not cause all of this. That's if he had bothered to have a conversation with the person who's litteraly living with him for years in the first place, like tf ?? A convo about ''hey my brother's dog need a new home, think we can take it in ?'' ''no sorry my son is terrified of them, you litteraly work full time and late, and I work from home, so you don't have the time, you're basically asking me to take responsibility for it, and caring for it, while I am working'' Y'all acting like she was some gf just moving with her kid and asked him to get rid of the dog he's had for years. That's not what happened. they been together for 4years, they live together, she has a special needs kid and they guy just takes in a dog no questions asked. If it was an emergency, still a discussion for the dog to stay a few days while they re-home it. And ppl are saying HIS dOg iS LiKe hIs cHilD. No it's not. I have a cat who's a rescue and is my family. I wouldn't have the balls to tell someone he's as important to me as a child is to a mother who created life inside her, carried and raised her child. Like the audacity. And again that's not even what this is. The dog litteraly just got here, it's not even his own dog he raised. If they had a convo beforehand none of this would've happened. And the fact everyone is calling her the only AH when she did to him what he did to her first, which is essentially fixing what he broke, as in he brought the dog in without consent and she says the dog is out again and put her child as a responsible mom first is ridiculous. Willing to bet if the kid was allergic everyone would be okay with it. I've read plenty of those on Reddit. Apparently an itchy kid is more important than a traumatised autistic one. Ff's Reddit.

[@pinkdoobie]

@@greyscalesx As a fellow autistic, I totally agree. I was terrified of dogs as a kid, though I learned to tolerate my closest friends’ dogs with time. I’m no longer afraid of them, but I would never in a million years agree to live with one. They are loud, fast, smelly, and leave hair and dirt everywhere. When I was pregnant (and therefore more sensitive than usual), I couldn’t even bring myself to pet a dog.

[@DrPatANelson]

@@greyscalesx You don't get to say that somebody's dog isn't as important to them as a child is as important to the mother who gave birth to him. That makes you an AH. Clearly this selectively-reading mother is the AH here but she did the right thing by leaving. That guy is better off with his deceased brother's dog, which sounds like a nice dog.

[@PredictedCyborg]

Story 2 - as someone who hates wearing dresses (but has always said I'll make an exception for certain family events, yet never been pressed to) the OP rocks. Keep supporting the niece!

[@Athlynne]

Second story - OP, you are gonna make one awesome, appreciated aunt to your new niece. Kudos to you for making sure she'd be comfortable in your wedding party. Ignore your whining in-laws, and enjoy a friendship with this young girl who's going to love and be so grateful to you for being so cool and understanding. As an eccentric, much-loved aunt myself, this story made me feel warm.

[@Bekzee]

In the last story, I'm sure Mark has covered a video before where they've said if someone hurts themselves in a pool, the owner of the pool is liable, even if the hurt person is trespassing. It was something like attractive nuisance if I remember right.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Yep its why insurance on homes with pools are so expensive.

[@sarahbauer5593]

I have a pool and have 2 felices around IT and still have had stranhe kiss in IT. My local policía were called and put the dead of G-d un the kiss and parents as the completely ignored me. I falso had a dog the kiss world trap between the 2 francés and world tormenta. Their parents didn't care.

[@caiargagnon]

Story 2: just pretend to be a bridezilla. "It's my wedding!!"😅

[@JayeEllis]

Story 4: NTA - They've been warned plenty. Start keeping a record, and call the cops every time they show up. Having a pool on your property opens you up to all sorts of potential liability in case of injury. Invest in cameras, make it as difficult as possible to enter your yard (we had a 10' fence, with deadbolt locks), and ONLY allow guests to swim while abiding by your safety rules.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Omg. I loved that comment that told OP to learn to read and count. Speak the truth hero

[@marilynreed4180]

The dog is grieving, too

[@ckanon9887]

Op 2 is officially gonna be the cool aunt for that niece

[@Batman-st4hq]

Story 1: OP was definitely the A hole and I knew it from the beginning when she said she's not a dog person. That means she'll use any excuse to get rid of her boyfriend's dog and used her son as an excuse. What couldn't keep then apart while the BF was working? Like seriously OP son wasn't her BFs kid but the dog basically was his and OP wanted him to get rid of what he loved. She's controlling and a terrible partner. I'm seeing why she's a single mom. When your partner gives you an ultimatum between them and your pet always go for the pet they will always be a better companion than the partner if the partner is acting like this

[@EmmyKirk14]

Story 1: Yup. YTA. Going behind his back and trying to give away the dog without even talking to him. After the update, yup still YTA. OP not even sorry and think she's in the right. Glad the boyfriend kept the dog.

[@littlesongbird1]

Not only that if her son "visits" that to me says she doesn' thave full or even 50/50 custody. Why not just see if they can compromise (ie maybe confine the dog to certain parts of the house and have son not go there. How big is the dog? If it is not a big dog maybe they could try to introduce the dog slowly to help him overcome his fear?) How would she feel if he told her son couldn't visit them anymore because of the dog? I also love how she feels its "hers sons' own home" etc. Oh so the boyfriend has no rights?

[@brigidtheirish]

@@littlesongbird1 The dog is a bull terrier, so probably small end up medium to medium. Also strong and energetic. The dog needs space and attention. I just hope the boyfriend doesn't live in an apartment.

[@Me-wk3ix]

I would suggest OP realize that step-mom is the mom in this case and not put herself in a position where she is competing. Forcing the daughter to stay with her a week out of the month is a bad idea. Maybe do a movie night on the weekends now and again. Find some places that are cheap or low cost and take her there to spend some time with her. Maybe work with the dad and step-mom if possible to do some things with the daughter at her house. Find an inexpensive hobby, or try to get into something she's into that you can share. Take it in small bits and don't try to become a full-on parent to her overnight. It's okay to have some honest conversations that you recognize that her step-mom is more of a parent to her than you are and that you don't have the time or money that step-mom is able to invest. But you just want to be a part of your daughter's life where she is comfortable, and that you love her.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Considering OP didn't mention that much that she, does indeed, want Nat in her life... I think she's just competing with Amy.

[@fabiocandelori9163]

@@antithoughtpolice7497 in the comments it came out OP sued for custody after it came out that Amy wanted to adopt Natalie, before that she was happy to see Natalie just once in a while. Basically, either OP wants to be a mother without putting in the work, or, as some commenters hypotesized, OP wants some part of Natalie's inheritance.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

@@fabiocandelori9163 Oh, even worse.

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey all, happy Sunday. Hope you've had or are having a wonderful day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hope yours has been too much love 🤗🤗💜💜

[@ivy4104]

Same to you dude!

[@FlamesofJagger]

Having a great day. Gonna visit with family for dinner for Mother's Day

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Stay safe Mark much love to you and Poppy

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - Going with the unpopular NTA here with shades of ESH. OP needs to sit down with daughter and Amy and talk about the different circumstances at each household and draw some boundaries. Daughter gets input on lunches, but does not get the waste food by throwing it in the bin and having Amy bring another. Daughter learns that over half of her friends have to do chores and help clean their houses because many have one parent or both who work. OP needs to learn what kinds of things her daughter likes and be there for her just like Amy does. It is a co-parent situation, but OP has not put in the work and needs to - along with having her ex and Amy working with her.

[@cookingkurry4384]

Im going to put in my 2 cents (cause I also think NTA with sprinkled ESH), I think Op's daughter is going to turn into a huge spoiled brat with the way the Dad is raising her. The daughter is never going to become independent nor learn the necessary skills to survive. Tbh I really think Op should just cut her losses cause she is never going to be able to ever provide enough to the daughters standards, that the Dad has set.

[@therealdeathnote3]

I’ve seen the post the only reason she did any of this was to get back at Natalie‘s real mom. She is angry and jealous that the person she pushed out is going to be adopted by her real mom it’s really sad for the kid. The kidneeds to be with a real family that’s not OP.

[@Mewse1203]

I'm going to add further context to why OP is a major asshole. OP had barely any contact with them (maybe 2x a year according to her). It wasn't until she was approached to give up her rights so Amy could adopt that she decided she HAD to be in this girl's life. Instead of doing what was best for the daughter OP abandoned, she did what she thought was best for herself and forced them into court to get custody after 14 years. So she forced this teenage girl to come live a quarter of her life with a stranger. Then after forcing the girl, things aren't all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, so she tells the girl, who is rightly angry to be forced to live with a stranger who she asked to leave her alone for the rest of her life, to go away when it didn't work out the way OP thought. She is not that girl's mother. Never has been and never will be. She's just bitter and taking it out on the girl she gave birth to.

[@jennifersmith-clark6418]

@@Mewse1203 This was my take on it too. I realized how this really isnt about the daughter, its about OP and Amy because she is just laser focused on her. We actually hear very little about the daughter in comparison.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

@@cookingkurry4384 I think she's being hard on the parent that abandoned her... She could wash the dishes she uses at her friend's houses for all we know! OP should of been prepared for hostility, all things she's done before this considered... And she didn't say anything about talking her baby daddy and Amy, and her comment that pushed her away shows she IS competing with Amy.

[@ACCER]

The last story: I've lived in several homes with pools. I've had issues in EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I remember moving into one where there was no fence at all (Back in the old days, before both laws and insurance companies required them. The first thing we did, as we were moving into the house, was having a fence put up. I was walking back out to grab another box and one of my new neighbors stormed up to me and demanded to know why I was putting a fence around "OUR" pool and how would her children be able to access it. I told her it was MY pool and they wouldn't. It was a wood privacy fence. THEY CUT A HOLE in it a few days later. I called the police and had her teenage son arrested and the two younger kids returned to the parents. I won a judgement against her (winning and collecting are NOT the same thing) but they never bothered me again.......or the pool. I had a stone wall constructed after that. My current house ALSO has a stone wall around the backyard and pool. Luckily, the houses around us have changed hands enough now that many people don't realize that I even have a pool. I can live with that. I'm not kidding......I could literally write a book series based off of the crap people have pulled over the years because of my pool. EVERYONE wants to swim........NOBODY wants to clean or pay for it......

[@kagekun1198]

Whoa, whoa. In Story 3, I really find it difficult to condemn OP too much other than the insecurity about stepmom Amy. All the daughter's complaints reeks of privilege actually. Steak, quiche, having to clean up for yourself and constant attention for a sore throat? Forgive my third-class background but that girl is just spoilt! Personally, I'd say that OP is going too fast with one week custody. She should start out with one-day/ weekend outings before easing her daughter into her lower-middle class life. Go slow, and be patient, Relationships take time. Trust takes time. Let the daughter see OPs world gradually rather than dump her into the deep end, otherwise, daughter would just run back to her privileged bubble, as she just did.

[@t.matthies3049]

She is spoiled, but I do think if OP had been able to use it as a learning moment it could have brought them closer instead of pushing them apart("I know this food is not your preference, but the reality is not everyone can afford to live like your dad and stepmom, so this is the best I can do." Or "I would like to stay home with you, but I'm on a budget, so I have to be careful about taking time off.") I know some people don't talking about adult problems on children (and I agree to in some cases that's the best approach) but in this case, some of that is needed to help the daughter understand why OP isn't able to provide the same things her other mother can. The daughter won't learn if nobody teaches her.

[@annettetorres5582]

My thoughts exactly, and I feel sorry for the mom. And in all actuality it takes a lot to give up custody of a child and admit not being ready mentally or financially to be a parent especially when the other parent is better off. We’ve all heard stories about people who should have never had children and raised them to the point of torture. Anyway, I hope they find a solution that works

[@DemonGodRizer]

Yeah im on op's side with this one, yes it could've been a "learning opportunity" to teach her to not be a spoiled brat but as someone who has seen and been on both sides at somepoint she just literally doesn't have the means to do things exactly like the stepmother. I also wonder if there was ever an update?

[@carrierelyea1908]

All of this. I cannot believe the comments on this one. “You aren’t meeting her needs”. She works at a grocery store, she’s likely not making a huge salary where she can make steak for her kids lunch regularly. This girl is a spoiled brat. They should reduce the time to weekends, but she was NTA.

[@charityquill4965]

Also no one was talking about the part where the daughter was throwing out the lunches OP made. that's just plain disrespectful and rude, and it would be rude to anybody whether or not the relationship was strained

[@Azulakayes]

Currently listening to this while baking chocolate cookies for my boys. Story 1: Title alone tells me OP is the A-hole. Her doubling down in the comments confirms.

[@mindyschocolate]

SO was right to chose the dog over her.

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

I’m a dog lover too. But the SO was not considering the kid at all. Desensitising from a phobia and take years and doing so in your home could be torture through flooding. It’s an awful situation as their are competing valid issues. Ultimately neither SO or OP are wrong for putting their respective dependants first. SO should have been more clear he was never going to give the dog away and OP should not have gone behind his back.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@nixxyhasthoughts Yeah. I get the emotional attachment to the dog, but the *child* is arguably more important and was part of the family *first.* OP also has a point about not having time to take care of the dog. I've seen far too many well-intentioned owners who simply don't have the time and space to have a dog but have one, anyway. This is *not* a good situation for the dog *or* the child. Going behind her boyfriend's back, however? *That* was an asshole move.

[@Azulakayes]

@@nixxyhasthoughts You are right the lack of communication and self-centeredness on both their parts made it ESH but OP was the A-hole for: 1. Issuing ultimatums to someone who is grieving(his brother has been deceased for just a month) 2. Trying to rehome the dog without consulting him. 3. Not trying to work on a joint solution including options like therapy for the child because dogs will exist in his life and he has to adapt. Her hardline stances even on the comments section make you realise the kind of person she is. Why go on reddit to ask for judgement and advise and refuse to follow or acknowledge it? Why double down to try and show a false sense of superiority. IRL people don't like people like OP unfortunately. She defines assholery.

[@thtvh1]

@@brigidtheirish and for that it is easier to get rid of her. Dogs wont go behind your back. Except to lick your fucking ear. Who knows what this would escalate to.

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: YTA, I was leaning between NAH and ESH before the update since the situation seemed to be very delicate with both sides having good arguments, but after the update, it became clear that OP is the kind of person that wants things her way or the high way, and I even question if her son is really that afraid of the dog or if that's her excuse. Good for her BF to keep the good boy

[@leegraves8878]

Story 1 obviously wasn't her house as she left so yeah you can't do that sweetheart.

[@yewwily9563]

Truthfully, she did not think about her bf’s grief AT ALL. I understand she has a kid to take care of, but bf lost his brother A MONTH AGO. I’m happy he kep the dog. She was the AH.

[@puli_dreadhead]

NTA- I feel like it's hard to compete with the stepmom when she has more resources than OP. Stepmom is a SAHM and OP has to work to make rent, OP is being paid minimum wage, and if she's in the states that's not a livable wage. OP can't drop too many days in a row without consequences.

[@LunaMane]

If we're going to call it a "competition", surely you would agree that someone who admittedly gave their child up after birth and wasn't there for their child until recently doesn't hold a candle to the stepmother who's been there since day one? This is only a competition in OP's mind because she made it out to be that way. But she's not really competing for Natalie's affection. She's competing for control of her. Even in her own updates she said that she doesn't like how Natalie turned out and wants to change her around, filed with the court to get partial custody as well as block Amy's adoption of Natalie and just recently said she's not even a kid person. OP is an arsehole because she's mad that people won't let her just insert herself into their lives whenever she wants. Something she has no rights to anyway since she abandoned her child.

[@squirrel670]

@@LunaMane her ex gets an unestablished barely legal person pregnant and surprise she wasn't ready to be a mother. It's better no mom than an abusive one and Op is trying but doesn't know how to be a parent. She doesn't need to make it a competition as the kid is comparing op to the mom to her face. Op isn't privileged to do those things for the daughter and doesn't know how to convey that. Having to work for everything to see your bio kid throw away food you made and not clean up after themselves is painful and insulting. Her about to be adopted was probably a wake up call to her, but it doesn't mean she'll be successful in her attempts.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

@@squirrel670 I met my now bf when I was 19 and he was 24, almost 25... Surprisingly, young women ARE attracted to older men. OP was an adult, don't patronize her.

[@puli_dreadhead]

@@antithoughtpolice7497 Age gaps like this bother me personally because he was already financially independent from his family when she wasn’t. The gap is big enough to fall into an uneven power dynamic.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

@@puli_dreadhead What if they were both 19, and he had his parents money to rely on (not being financially independent, but let's just say he doesn't HAVE to worry about money), and OP is still the same... What then? The class thing is still an issue, I know, but plenty of 18 or 19 year olds are also financially independent from things because they HAVE to be (no parents support or they aged out of the system). OP was an adult making an adult decision to be in a relationship. My mom's ex husband was toxic, but she knows she had the power to leave the WHOLE time. You're only victimized when you want to be a victim sometimes. Like when you help your friend leave a toxic relationship and she jumps into another... OP is not claiming to be a victim in any way, and didn't jump into another bad relationship, so you might want to stop trying to label people. Besides,plenty of 18 year olds harass the older love interest, and get restraining orders. If they're old enough for that, they're old enough to consent. Or the ones that have the age gap and are happy in a relationship. Not to mention, sometimes people fetishize a whole race, but it doesn't mean all interracial relationships are a fetish. Or that controlling behavior doesn't happen between couples of the same age.

[@GMWILD87]

Story 2 OP champion man a respectable bridezilla.

[@stephadoodledoo]

Story 1: Good for the ex boyfriend! I hope he finds healing and love in caring for his late sibling's pet. A pet's love will never come with conditions like such an entitled partner OP was. Her mindset to protect her child was correct but she deserves to be single for a long long time of that's what she calls "compromise."

[@dakotasan8719]

I’ve met far, far too many women who think “compromise” means “do whatever I say”.

[@jcdammittohell]

I have Asperger's (on autism spectrum), and i LOVE the sassiness of the commenters of story 1.

[@thedestroyasystem]

First OP sounds insufferable, especially with the info given in the update. They had good reasons not to want to keep the dog, they should’ve communicated better with BF and tried to reach a conclusion (maybe dog stays with mom when son is at the house?). Instead they decided to impose their decision about BF’s dog on BF, and when he didn’t act fast enough on what he was told to do they tried to get rid of his animal behind his back. That is not so absolutely not okay. BF is much better off without OP around.

[@actuallynotsteve]

Seriously, I almost want to believe that it's fake because if she's for real she'd be absolutely awful to know in real life.

[@diarradunlap9337]

Makes you wonder who was REALLY at fault for her divorce from her ex-husband.

[@actuallynotsteve]

@@diarradunlap9337 Yup, because "it certainly couldn't be the insufferable OP"

[@saratronus]

I honestly couldn't put it into words other than the update post felt so snobbish.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

I feel like it's not even about the son.... Feel like op just doesn't like the dog... " I don't want my child living in fear." Teach him the dog is nice

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Story 1: The freaking audacity! Who the hell does OP think she is, coming into someone elses home and demand they get rid of a family for her. She needs to hit the road "But my son doesn't wanna visit me" THEN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! Update: Whaaaat? OP doubled down and lied claiming she was in the right? No way! I'm shocked! SHOCKED I TELL YOU!

[@robertx8020]

I don't understand ...I think you are shocked but I'm not sure :P

[@PrimateProductions]

Geez, calm the hell down! She didn't "come into someone else's home" and demand they "get rid of a family for her"! She was already living there well before the dog came into the picture, it was her home as well.

[@kmon1324]

I'm not she just wants to stay in his home as a guest, but still give orders and make demands ignoring the fact that the person's home she was staying in was still greaving over a loss which makes the OP a Heartless controlling Bitch who needed to be shown the door. Oh, By the way, good use of a futurama reference.

[@readintimely2517]

@@PrimateProductions was it her home? No, no it wasn't then and sure as he'll isn't now xD hope she enjoyes tracking concrete!

[@jporskycroom7621]

@@PrimateProductions it was his home though, never was it hers. And for her to demand something is a dick move. AND her claims of "learn to read, everyone was on my side" was such bs

[@BigL_TheKing]

Story 1 YTA bigtime. Op crossed the line and didn’t back down. She wanted to put her and her sons needs over the boyfriends grief. That ain’t it at all. Boyfriend dodged a bullet and a half. Hopefully he can mourn in peace now.

[@WabbitHunter68]

I'm so glad he kept the dog. Her update just shows what kind of person she was and I'm not sure it was really about her son being scared.

[@greyscalesx]

I still think the ones who are crazy are the ones saying YTA. It's a clear ESH. Her fault is going behind his back and putting his back against the wall to decide, when he apparently was only considering it. But everyone here, seems to like to ignore, how the guy didn't even consult her either when he brought the dog in. If he could consider, like he said, to try to find a friend to re-home him now, he could have done it at the start and not cause all of this. That's if he had bothered to have a conversation with the person who's litteraly living with him for years in the first place, like tf ?? A convo about ''hey my brother's dog need a new home, think we can take it in ?'' ''no sorry my son is terrified of them, you litteraly work full time and late, and I work from home, so you don't have the time, you're basically asking me to take responsibility for it, and caring for it, while I am working'' Y'all acting like she was some gf just moving with her kid and asked him to get rid of the dog he's had for years. That's not what happened. they been together for 4years, they live together, she has a special needs kid and they guy just takes in a dog no questions asked. If it was an emergency, still a discussion for the dog to stay a few days while they re-home it. And ppl are saying HIS dOg iS LiKe hIs cHilD. No it's not. I have a cat who's a rescue and is my family. I wouldn't have the balls to tell someone he's as important to me as a child is to a mother who created life inside her, carried and raised her child. Like the audacity. And again that's not even what this is. The dog litteraly just got here, it's not even his own dog he raised. If they had a convo beforehand none of this would've happened. And the fact everyone is calling her the only AH when she did to him what he did to her first, which is essentially fixing what he broke, as in he brought the dog in without consent and she says the dog is out again and put her child as a responsible mom first is ridiculous. Willing to bet if the kid was allergic everyone would be okay with it. I've read plenty of those on Reddit. Apparently an itchy kid is more important than a traumatised autistic one. Ff's Reddit.

[@marshawargo7238]

She's not putting her & son's Needs above his. She's putting Want above him. This is the perfect way to teach the boy about animals and their care(since he doesn't live there All the time) This way it's kinda like going to school, he's not with the dog 24/7, he can learn in increments & go back to dads when it's too much. I'll bet it's gf who doesn't want the extra responsibility of care, more than kids fear!

[@theprodigaltrue]

Story 1: that response at the end, god damn

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 yta to just demand he gets rid of the dog. The entitlement of this one. Then for her to get so defensive when she ask for feedback. She's an adult brat.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

The fact her child doesn't even live there full-time was what cemented my YTA opinion

[@johntremble7993]

not to mention OP should've taught her kid that there's no reason to be afraid of the dog

[@keplersdream901]

Hence why I believe most of these so-called "autism" parents don't actually have autistic kids. They're either spoiled brats or have spoiled parents. This is why people should not date single parents. They're bitchy and entitled 100% of the time.

[@Becks-and-books]

@@Jessidafennecfox why? Because the child has two parents who want to be in the child's life? Wtf kind of thought process is that

[@aluralovell6829]

The fact that she lied about something so small as what her verdict was leads me to believe she's not being entirely truthful about her story? How much you wanna bet she didn't tell her boyfriend that a couple was coming to get his dog and instead got caught in hr act?

[@pilyq2079]

Story 1: That nuke evaded him, good for ex-boyfriend

[@Acidfunkish]

Story 1: Wowwww, OP is TA. In more ways than one. Story 2: Your niece appreciates you. I was my mom's first and only daughter, so she used to dress me up in these really frilly, lacy, itchy, uncomfortable dresses, when I was younger. I hated it so much. Once I hit around 8 years old, I started refusing to wear anything that wasn't comfortable, and in my pre-teen years, I refused to ever wear a skirt or dress, again. As an adult, I still dress like a pre-teen boy, because that's what makes me comfy. The more she's forced to do things that make her uncomfortable, the less she's going to trust people (her mom). Your child is not your little living doll; she is her OWN person. Learn to compromise with her. Story 3: Ehhh. Everyone seems to be siding with the daughter, which I do somewhat understand, but I don't think she's completely innocent, in this, either. She sounds like she is trying to set up "the moms" to compete. She does sound spoiled, and that won't help her to adult, in a few years. It sounds like she doesn't know how to cook or clean, at all, because she doesn't have to do so. I can only see that ending poorly. But also, just because you're her bio-mom, doesn't mean she owes you love. If you want a relationship with her, especially STARTING when she's 14, you are going to have to put the effort in. You're going to have to learn what she likes and dislikes. It sounds like you just brought her into your home and said, "Adjust to how I live my life, eat what I eat, do what I do, and if you don't like it, you can bugger off back to your real mom." And then act surprised when she does just that? C'mon. Yes, she's a brat - she's 14. You're supposed to be the adult.

[@dethkruzer]

Story 1: I'm glad he got away from her. Frankly I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd have tried to hurt the dog.

[@chs75]

She left...not the other way around. Why would she have hurt the dog? Nothing in the post indicated that?

[@dethkruzer]

@@chs75 1. Same end result. 2. The way went making unilateral decisions for the sake of her son has me thinking she will eventually go full Karen if someone doesn't give her a wakeup call. And Karen's are hardly the most empathetic or stable creatures around.

[@smokeyjazz5506]

The only thing I can say about Story 1, is that the boyfriend dodged a HUGE bullet. This relationship was doomed to fail from the start as OP continues to believes in her self-righteous rants.

[@lilfairykiki122]

Just the comment from OP in the first place “learn to ready please” told me all i need to know about her, especially since the next comment proved she was lying. This woman sounds like a controlling Karen and if she’s that defensive, manipulative, nasty and untruthful to people in a Reddit post i can’t imagine how she treats her ex bf. Not to mention she was totally unsympathetic of his grief, he’s so much better off without her. What a brat she is.

[@ElleD308]

"He kept the dog" ...... YES, Boss!

[@TiffWaffles]

OP overstepped her boundaries. SHE GOT RID OF HER BOYFRIEND'S DOG! To demand made her an AH but to overstep and find somebody to take the dog online made her an even bigger one. I hope OP got torn to shreds in the comments.

[@stephaniewilson3955]

She did not actually get rid of the dog. She just tried and got booted.

[@timmerner]

The comments were brutal

[@johntremble7993]

@@stephaniewilson3955 even so, op was torn a new one

[@Becks-and-books]

I mean if he wants to keep it he should be home more to take care of it instead of her. But she was an AH for doing it the way she did but he was an AH for forcing a dog upon her

[@Flakey101]

She should have just left him, since he showed he cared more about the dog than her anyway. Not tried to get rid of the dog.

[@pnutbutterwalrus3626]

Story one: can’t wait to see their next post “I tried to give my bf’s dead brothers dog away. Now I’m single, looking for a new place to live and men are mean because they don’t want to date a single mom”. Not to mention if they didn’t have the time to look after a dog then how did they have time for her son? Imagine the shit fit she would throw if he had said the dog takes less time and attention to care for than her son so the obvious choice was to find some random on the internet and give her son away. What a bitch.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: op is such a jerk and I have a sneaking suspicion SHE is the reason her son doesn’t want to stay with her rather than the dog.

[@floraposteschild4184]

IMHO, she's the one with the problem with the dog for whatever reason, and she's putting it on her son. I didn't see any willingness to teach her son to overcome his fears -- the family working with the dog at an obedience class or with a trainer would be a good idea, or consulting his doctor/therapist. I've seen autistic kids with strong bonds to animals, and it's a pity neither side tried to work it out.

[@someanon1984]

"My son is more important." To you, ma'am. To you.

[@ToeBeanCozy]

She wasn't an asshole until she tried to get rid of his dog. I get not wanting your kid to be scared in somewhere he's supposed to consider home. But you don't get rid of other people's pets

[@xydis.06.03]

OP in Story 1 needs to re-evaluate herself. This could've been resolved by her teaching her kid not to fear the dog, who by her own admission wasn't violent or aggressive. And if that doesn't work, maybe _TALK_ to the poor guy and try to come up with a compromise. Instead, she decided on the "my way or the highway" route and look where it got her. I mean, there's definitely a reason why she now has an ex-husband _and_ an ex-boyfriend. My condolences to ex-BF, his mother, and Cat.

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: wow YTA. GF should just move out. You’re not married to him. He doesn’t owe your kid anything. Is it even her home? Did she move in with him? Thank god he chose the dog.

[@start1012]

they live in the same house۔ why are you assuming she moved in with him۔ why is he dating her if he doesnt care for her autistic son۔

[@Swnsasy]

Omgosh! Story 1 is HORRIBLE!! Get rid of my animal of ANY kind would cause me to break up.. She has zero respect for him and his grief.. I cannot understand how she thought that was a good idea when his brother just passed a month ago!! She could have got therapy for her son to learn he doesn't have to be afraid. Wow, too go behind his back is just horrible to me..

[@habituallearner7680]

I'm glad the boyfriend chose the dog. She's TA snd he's well rid of her.

[@immapotato1]

glad he got rid of that

[@majesticgothitelle1802]

I glad the bf got rid of the animals from his home and keep the dog

[@Sugieb]

@@majesticgothitelle1802 who calls a disabled Child an animal disgusting 🤢

[@majesticgothitelle1802]

@@Sugieb first all talking about the girlfriend if you was paying attention to comment and replied you would notice before jumping the gun

[@StarsCreaming218]

@@majesticgothitelle1802 actually,going off your grammar you did imply more than one animal which would be the child .

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

6:38 oh hell no! Even if it was the majority, that means no one else can have their own opinion! I love that comment for the breakdown! 👏🏾👏🏾

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

So for the story about the moms I honestly can't call OP the asshole. It's clear that her ex and his wife have given the daughter a very privileged life and she's complaining about stuff that most children don't get and more than that stuff that OP probably can't afford. She says she works at a grocery store and is presumably single which means that chances are she can't afford things like a cleaning service to clean up after the daughter, or the materials, let alone the time to make elaborate lunches everyday, or even the time off to take care of her while she has a sore throat. It sounds like these complaints are consistent and I can't blame OP for getting irritated and snapping at her kid when she's demanding that she take the day off (presumably losing that day's pay) to take care of her while she has a sore throat, which you really can't do much for anyways.

[@savagen7gamer807]

She should have just stayed out her daughter's life when she gave her up

[@LunaMane]

@@savagen7gamer807 I agree. OP is doing a lot of whining herself, about how Natalie doesn't want to be around her. And that's rather privileged on her part to just insert herself into the life of a child she gave up at birth. It was only when Amy wanted to adopt Natalie that OP got in the mix. On top of that she even says in her update that she's not a kid person. What she is, however, is a jealous and controlling person who can't stand that her ex, Amy and Natalie all have a happy life and she can't be part of it besides partial custody. So she's mad and takes it out on Natalie who won't bow to the will of someone who was never there. So OP is in fact the arsehole. She's got no one to blame but herself for this.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Also did she try talking to her daughter about these things she can't or won't do? I think not.

[@LunaMane]

@@louellacharlton4425 Nope. She also was very disparaging about Amy - saying she only makes Natalie those lunches because she doesn't work or have much to do. As if to imply that a parent can't make time for their kid otherwise. For all she knows Amy could be doing online courses. Not that it's any of her business if she does. Amy may also be a genuine housewife who likes to cook and make the home feel welcoming. Not the take but never give, new misconception of housewife that's basically just a trophy wife who stays at home.

[@MdMzzz]

I can blame OP for getting irritated and snapping at her kid. She is a deadbeat mom and has been given a second chance to connect with her daughter. She can't afford stuff that her daughter gets from her stepmom, that's fine, BUT : It's not that hard to pack a proper inexpensive lunch. It literally takes 15 minutes to make a salad and dressing from scratch (which she mostly complained about). OP is saying that her daughter not only isn't entitled to 15 minutes of her time, but if she doesn't like it, she's free to go. Is that what you say to a child you want to connect with ? What happened to talking to the kid and properly explaining things? OP is defensive and dismissive AF for every request her daughter makes and unwilling to compromise. She's completely unwilling to go out of her way to do anything for her child. She's still the same deadbeat she always was. The daughter called her bluff and now OP is all butthurt that a child who barely knows her and which she treats like an uninvited and unwelcome guest isn't willing to put up with her BS, just because she suddenly remembered, after 14 years, that her daughter exists.

[@jpbaley2016]

2nd story - OP rocks. I always hated dresses growing up and I still despise them now at 62 yo. I always found them uncomfortable. Worrying if the skirt flips up revealing too much; hot, binding pantyhose; and pinching, toe smashing shoes. I still remember, when my mother forced me into a dress, when I was 14, to attend my sister’s reception. Not every teenager or woman is a girly-girl. Many of us don’t have a feminine bone in their body. I’m glad there’s at least one person in this reddit that has her head screwed on straight.

[@damien678]

I'm autistic, scared of dogs, and I despise this OP 🙃

[@lunaisbellavalentine1823]

When I read the title in the picture I assumed it was taxidermy

[@megaman37456]

Story 1: After reading the update it's clear why OP has an Ex husband AND an Ex boyfriend now. She's just completely self-absorbed and refuses to admit any fault of her own.

[@littlesongbird1]

Yep and that's why she doesn't have full custody of her kid.

[@jamiemunger2931]

@@littlesongbird1 seriously. A kid so young is more likely than not to be given to the mother for custody. She must have really screwed up somewhere.

[@wmdkitty]

Not to mention refusing to get her son appropriate therapy...

[@ThePolarwolf89]

Story 1: good thing he kept the dog and dodged the bullet

[@hazil4540]

Story 1. In the update she lied about the comments…makes me wonder if her kid was for real extremely scared of the dog or she simply was manipulating the situation to get rid of it since, as she said, she was not into dogs. 🤔

[@floraposteschild4184]

That's it exactly.

[@rex8255]

Re. The dog story: There was another individual also grieving, confused and having a really rough time. Cat, the dog. The loyalty and affection people have for their dogs is a two way street. Fortunately, the dog had someone to stay with that they apparently know and trust.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP is not trying to overrule the parents; quite the opposite is true. They are trying to insist what OP is having her attendants wear. Bride's choice and if OP wants to make sure they are all comfortable and that means they wear tailored pantsuits or pants in general, that is HER choice- not theirs, no matter what they would 'love to see her in'. That is their fight for their events. OP's wedding is not the place for them to interfere. NTA.

[@HoneyBeeBritt27]

Hi Mark, I doubt you’ll ever see this because of how many comments you get, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for hosting this podcast! I found this podcast last year during Sydney’s second lockdown when my bakery had to close down, and I got to listen to your voice every single day from the beginning of what you put on Spotify. I’m only up to December 11th 2021 but I’m working my way through, and I still listen to an episode or two every day. Sometimes my partner and I listen together and we love discussing what we think of the stories! Thank you for being a friend on the speakers when I was so lonely during lockdown! Hello from Sydney Australia and take care!! 💖✨👏

[@MarkNarrations]

You're very welcome and thanks for listening :)

[@katiesmith2031]

Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8 much love 💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 thank you broken I will. Hope you are having a wonderful day

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 thanks and you too m8 much love 🤗🤗💜💜

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

OP in story 2 isn’t overruling the parents, it’s not the family’s wedding.

[@maddy8328]

Story 1, immediately YTA from the title alone. Even if your son wasn't special, you can't do this to someone's dog. Don't be with someone that has animals, simple. You went behind his back, he said that he would try to compromise. "Taking too long" what. Yeah you don't get that make this Decision without him. "If he wants to be attached to his brothers dog and not care about my son, fine by me". His brother died a month ago, woman! The dog is the only thing has left of his brother. If the dog was violent, that would be one thing, but it wasn't! Your insane to think you have any right to do something to someone's animal. "My child was more important" yeah, no. Animals are just as important as children. You went behind his back and the dog wasn't violent and you didn't even try to get your kid to get to know the dog. You lost all right to say your kid is more important. "Scared in his own home" that isn't his home or yours, it's your BOYFRIEND'S home. He has the right to say what happens in the house Pertaining to his animal. I fucking love that she thinks people said she wasn't a asshole, the Major majority said she's a POS. She needs to learn to read.

[@kayemckeeth2301]

Autistic people really don't really like being called special btw. Just say autistic please.

[@mrs.h2725]

Used to have a pet care business where I did basic training and had a rescue trained as a therapy dog to help ppl with fear of dogs from past trauma. A HUGE portion of the time, if the parent is 'not a dog person', they raise children who are fearful of dogs. Even kids who've been bitten before can learn to love dogs again, but not with a parent like OP. A few of my clients had autistic children as well who needed extra care with learning how to behave with dogs correctly, but it can be done, and is about the kid learning the right behavior, not the dog.

[@maddy8328]

@@mrs.h2725 that's great and yeah I've heard of that happening. OP is awful.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

Poor dog is likely wondering where his owner is, too. Good riddance, far as I'm concerned. like, the dog isn't aggressive or anything, I don't see why they couldn't keep the dog away from the kid by putting it in another room or something when the kid's there.

[@maddy8328]

@@ItsYaBoiV agreed, the mom didn't even try to get the kid to get to know the dog.

[@susanlosey9511]

I’ve had several of my dogs given away without my consent. One was we were moving to a town and would have to rent and no fenced a yard. The second was when I was married and our dog barked at my son. They both trying to occupy the same play tunnel. Son was just a toddler. Sam liked my son, they were just playing. My husband wouldn’t listen. So that woman was TA.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Story 1. I said YTA before Mark started reading. I will always choose my dogs over anybody. If you don't like dogs I can't like you.

[@kmore2766]

OMG the number break-down at the end was fkin HILARIOUS. well done lol. "so YOU learn how to read, AND count" lolll im dyin

[@tamarasmith9060]

Story 1: It really jumps out at me that the OP didn't even consider therapy for helping her son get over his irrational fear of all dogs, even before the BF ended up caring for his deceased brother's dog. But especially after then it should've been something discussed instead of her just demanding the BF rehome it. She's just gonna let her kid stay that way? Sometimes something does scare a young kid, but rather than let it fester into a phobia a parent's job is to help them dispel the fear. Parents can, & actually should, teach kids to be cautious about strange dogs (& cats, & even a friend's pet hamster or lizard) just in case to prevent bites or diseases, but they also need to teach them to not be afraid of ones that a trusted adult has confirmed is ok. Also: She was just gonna give the dog to strangers meeting it for the 1st time without doing any background check on them as to whether they were a good fit for that breed? What if they actually have a small apartment with no yard space instead of a house with large fenced in yard? What if they haven't taken the time to even look up the special dietary needs of that breed vs a mutt? She said it was a bull terrier, right? Has she not heard of people that do dogfights & how they can be very unscrupulous about getting certain breeds of dogs to use as fighters, breeders & bait dogs? They love dogs like bull terriers as bait dogs since the most popular fighting dogs are pit bulls. OP was just gonna give the dog to the 1st person she found. If you really need to rehome certain breeds of dogs it's best to contact your local animal shelter for info on the closest rescue organization. They have people set up to be temporary foster families & they do actual background checks on potential adopters.

[@start1012]

its difficult for normal people to get over a phobia so its way harder for autistic children۔

[@tamarasmith9060]

@@start1012 1. Why do think it's automatically harder for someone autistic? In fact many autistic children will bond with animals easier than they do with other people. 2. It shouldn't have been let to become a full phobia in the 1st place. Does the mom think the world is going to go out of their way to keep dogs out of his sight? Does she never take him to a store, a park, etc?

[@start1012]

@@tamarasmith9060 1 many is not the same as all and the animals that these many autistic children bonded with probably wasnt the one they had a phobia of۔ 2 the kid was scared of the dog from the start۔ there is huge difference in being around a dog for an hour in the store and being around it all day at home، a place of comfort for most people۔ autistic people go through a lot of stimulation throughout the day۔ don't they deserve to have comfort in their homes at least؟

[@Snipergoat1]

@@tamarasmith9060 It's harder for autistics because they are freaking autistic. While some bond with animals easily, he obviously does not. As for teaching him to get over it I think her priority is to make him functional in society and after that teach him to tolerate dogs.

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@Snipergoat1 Society has dogs, all over the place. I didn't see any willingness in OP to help her son overcome his fears, but now she's looking for a new place to live, she'll see why it's important.

[@brandymoen7422]

In the second story, at least the OP stood up for her soon to be niece. My aunt bullied me by not allowing me to wear what I liked because she was determined to force me into things. Mom even helped her get her way. I was an adult. I wasn't allowed to wear Scooby-Doo and Care Bears on my shirts. I told mom if I had to change, no more Winnie the Pooh for her too.

[@lsilvaeditor]

Story one: I have ASD and was scared of dogs when I was little because I was attacked by one when I was six. Now, OP is TAH for trying to get rid of the dog behind BF's back, that I can agree, but honestly, it sounds like a LOT of people both on reddit and here don't know how much time and effort it takes for an autistic child 'to get over' a fear. It's a LOT of work and especially at age eight, you're still just trying to learn how to live in an overstimulating and socially confusing world. It's easier to tackle the fear of dogs when you're a little older because you're physically bigger than most dogs by that point. So, sometimes the 'easy' solution of just not living with a dog is the BEST, because when I was 15, my brother got a dog, and let me tell you, there was NO Hallmark Movie magic moment where I suddenly fell in love with dogs - I tolerated his dog, even pity the poor creature in his last year before he died, trying to take it on walks, but that was about it. I STILL don't like dogs.

[@wmdkitty]

It takes effort, so... what? Just don't do it? Let the kid be scared for the rest of his life? That isnt' okay. She needs to get the kid into therapy to deal with it.

[@lsilvaeditor]

@@wmdkitty ...I said it takes a lot of time, and so the kid STILL couldn't live with the dog while he is trying to get over his fear and that was OP's original problem - the kid didn't want to live there. It was a time sensitive issue because the kid is young, therapy is a long-term solution, not a quick one; it might have actually taken months or a year(s) to get over his fear - and there was no guarantee that he would end up LIKING dogs by the end (I didn't), so OP might have had to move out anyway.

[@BraveryWing26]

I love the 2nd OP. She's awesome and has her niece's back.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

OP is definitely the AH here! Instead of teaching her son to face his fears in a safe environment with a sweet dog, she tried to go behind her BF back to get rid of his deceased brother's dog. I think that's the part that gets me most! His brother is gone and that sweet dog was his beloved pet. I just wish there was a way for him to spend more time with dog. Leaving them alone all day is not healthy for them. He should try remote work if he can.

[@Flakey101]

That will fail 100% of the time. An autistic childs response is to try to flee and if that fails go into a total meltdown where they will not learn anything.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

Autistic children can’t always be taught differently. They have cognitive rigidity which can make it impossible to change their minds. But even non-autistic people who fear dogs can’t just get over it. People who think like you are ridiculous and ableist.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

@@Flakey101 Depends on the severity, but it's a moot point. The problem solved itself.

[@bunnyslippers191]

"What goes through their minds??? I know, not very much!" *Mark giggles* Exactly, Mark! Not very freaking much goes through these people's heads!

[@ivy456]

I know a girl that would scream and shake when she saw my dog. She learned to not be scared of our dog because she really wanted to stay over. If someone as scared as her can teach herself to stay calm around an american stafford OP could've taught her son to not be scared if she wanted to. It seems that OP just didn't want to put in any efford to make it work and I'm happy for ex that he kept the dog. He can now find someone less annoying.

[@squirrel670]

That's what I'm saying. Its like people forget that you can teach the kid to not be afraid. She just didn't want the dog and didn't care at all. Even though that dog is basically equivalent to the living memory of his brother.

[@start1012]

was she autistic؟

[@BraveryWing26]

I love the comments on third story tearing OP a new one.

[@michaelwest2388]

story 1 worked out best for all involved, op moved into her bf house and gets upset over a family emergency, I think bf dodged a nuke. The OP missed a golden opportunity to help her son learn a valuable life lesson and get over a possibly debilitating fear. Her loss, his gain as he can now find someone better suited to him.

[@start1012]

where did it say she moved into his house۔ it sounds like they were both renting it۔ also you cant just teach an autistic kid to not be scared۔

[@michaelwest2388]

@@start1012 if you owned the house in any way would you have left and let the dog stay

[@itsjustmaddisen]

I don’t trust OP’s narrative. I feel like she might be lying about her son being scared of the dog because she just doesn’t want the dog around.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@itsjustmaddisen well its either that or shes a bad mom letting whos not even trying to help her kid with his fears. no talk of asking his therapist for help with this or even the father. either way she doesnt look good.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@Kris-wo4pj That’s a good point. Autistic people aren’t stupid and her actions are a little insulting towards her son. Definitely should have had a talk with him.

[@CristinaFrank]

So happy the BF kept the dog and not the GF. It was all about her needs and what's important to her.