Mary Eberstadt | The Sexual Revolution Was a Mistake

In this Direct interview, John is joined by author, essayist, novelist and commentator Mary Eberstadt as they tackle contentious issues including the impacts of the sexual revolution, the decline of the nuclear family, the #MeToo movement, the politicisation of sexual identity and much more.
Eberstadt argues that the sexual revolution has wrought great harm upon Western families, and despite lofty ideals of empowered individuals seeking, and finding, long-lasting pleasure, it has in fact resulted in atomisation, loneliness and deep misery & disconnection for many people, especially women and children.
Mary Eberstadt holds the Panula Chair at the Catholic Information Center and is a senior fellow with the Faith and Reason Institute. She is the author of several books, including Primal Screams and How the West Really Lost God, and has written widely for newspapers, magazines, and journals.
A frequent contributor to magazines and journals including TIME, the Wall Street Journal, National Review, and First Things, Eberstadt has also served as an editor at The Public Interest, The National Interest, and Policy Review. During the Reagan administration, Mrs. Eberstadt spent two years as a speechwriter to Secretary of State George Shultz. In summer 1981, she became the first female voting member of the student body at formerly all-male Deep Springs College.
Links
Mary Eberstadt on Triggernometry: • "The Sexual Revolution...
The Combarhee River Collective Statement: americanstudies.yale.edu/site...
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- 00:00 Intro
- 00:31 Introducing Mary Eberstadt
- 02:25 Suffering through radical social change
- 07:00 The rise of identity politics
- 12:30 The damages of the sexual revolution
- 18:15 Unhappiness and loneliness amongst the younger generation
- 24:00 The consequences of fatherlessness
- 28:20 MeToo and the sexual revolution
- 32:00 How animals reveal the importance of family
- 36:50 Christianity as a foundation of social identity and ethics
- 41:00 The importance of forgiveness and redemption
- 45:50 Secularisation in the West
- 49:00 Political action for restoring families
- 55:30 A call to political tolerance
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Conversations feature John Anderson, former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, interviewing the world's foremost thought leaders about today's pressing social, cultural and political issues.
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Follow Mary Eberstadt:
Website: maryeberstadt.com/
Twitter: / eberstadtmary
Facebook: / maryeberstadtauthor

[@Alipotamus]

This woman’s ability to use her brain and her mouth without hysterical language and extreme positions without facts is what we all need to share with others. Thanks

[@Scylithen]

You can share it with others, however this generation (Z) and the newest (generation Alpha) won't listen to her or read her writings as they have the idea that they know best. So even if you explain to them history of what happened to make it so that their mothers were single mothers they know deep down in their core that they *have this, you go girl* which won't change their idea of what their future life will be like. The cycle will continue, until you hit a real oblivion point.

[@stevend8785]

And cite Tupac? Wow.

[@oldtools6089]

I never quite understood how to throw a football for a job opportunity, but I wish I could have before I got CTE.

[@matthewstokes1608]

@@Scylitheneven more reason to say it right at them and not back down. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Anyway, one must do the right thing - and by Him - not give up and walk by.

[@matthewatwood8641]

My whole entire generation was abandoned. My parents stayed together - I was lucky. What I saw divorce do to my peers was devastating.

[@skylinefever]

The only reason my dad didn't divorce my mom during my childhood was because of the number of times he had to "yes, dear." He was there as a father, but the threat of divorce showed how much he was really able to do. He was divorced shortly after, and he revealed the things he wanted to do, but couldn't. He caved into shipping me off to Lakeside Christian School of Clearwater Florida to have the fear of God put in me. He would have had me grow up like everyone else if he had his way. However, mom would have simply divorced him, and some judge would decide who was right.

[@matthewatwood8641]

@@skylinefever I don't think a lot of people realize that, after a divorce, the mom often rejects the the dad and & prevents him from being part of the kids lives. That happened to my kids parents. They divorced when she and her sister were little. Both of them as adults are dependent on their mom now. She likes it that way. She's a raging narcissist.

[@skylinefever]

@@matthewatwood8641 This is why I say divorce laws must change first, otherwise even married fathers will be limited in effectiveness.

[@matthewatwood8641]

@@skylinefever I think the laws aren't going to change until society changes. I think we're in the process of discovering how important all the things we gave up fifty years ago actually are. I think we as a society have to recognize how important our children are, and how important it is for them to be the number-one priority, and have healthy families and communities, so that we can have a healthy, happy society.

[@blastoff2022]

That’s my parents, too. I grew up and learned and as an adult I truly understand the meaning of the words commitment and responsibility.

[@barbarajackson5959]

I'm in my seventies and have been widowed for thirteen. Widows and especially widowers without children or very close nieces or nephews are lost. They write wills not sure who to leave their estates to. Grandchildren are a total assets to those widows who have them. Your motor bikes , dogs, fancy houses, careers don't cut it when you're old.

[@halcyonzenith4411]

Won't be an issue for those who won't have any assets to bequeath.

[@barbarajackson5959]

@@halcyonzenith4411 They will die lonely living in poverty. Great.

[@merseybeat1963]

@@halcyonzenith4411 Being without someone solid to help them will be.

[@cnrspiller3549]

Lonlier still are those aged parents whose adult children are too busy pursuing careers, experiences and consumption to be in their parents' lives. My mum is 88 and I see her once a month for a short, 20hr visit. I moved miles away in pursuit of a career. Two kids born out of wedlock and one failed marriage later, this lady's words resonate loudly with me. I am terrified my kids will repeat the pattern.

[@cnrspiller3549]

@@Diana-yn2ho I am very lucky that she has a busy social life back home - but no thanks to me.

[@Susan-qz1su]

May I also add Motherlessness to the equation? We have a pandemic of children in childcare in Australia from 3 months old. Women are devolving themselves from mothering and handing over their role to "professional educators"

[@JezaLoki]

This stat is from America so take what you will from it: incarceration rates are highest from fatherless homes. Incarceration rates are the same from two parent homes and motherless homes. That is, where the father singlehandedly raises the children , they go to prison at the same rate as children from two parent homes.

[@mht5875]

Devolving due to one of two reasons: 1. These women would rather be at a job than their own children, and 2. These women want to be alone away from their children.

[@skylinefever]

@@mht5875 This is why people should only have children if they have a genuine desire.

[@katrielisrael7262]

@Skyline Fever also parents who understand their roles and not just dropped them off at a government sanctioned daycare and call themselves parents. It takes more than sending kids to indoctrination camps to be labeled as parents.

[@thomasjefferson6]

Excellent point!

[@lawrencemay3067]

A very good video. So many disruptions in my 81 years. Youn men need a purpose in life and our education systems let them down. I see too many well qualified young women but they need to have a home. A reflection: I have friends and relatives scattered in four different countries. Two hundred years ago my people were no more than a few miles apart with the occasional input from a different area. Now we hardly know anyone on my street.

[@jennpul1015]

Great point. Community support was what made life better. These days if you don't have a spouse and children you are totally lonely with no support when hardships come.

[@networth9151]

I married the only girlfriend I have ever had. After 40 years of marriage, it has been a great partnership. I have always been a husband and father first. I missed nothing delving into promiscuity that so many of my peers did.

[@Cuinn837]

I admire you. My husband also was not promiscuous. We both knew that messing around would lead to misery in the end. We will be 40 years married in August.

[@hufficag]

I met a cute girl when I went to teach English in Asia after graduating. My first girl. Ran into her while asking for directions outside a university. Then my mother kept telling me on the phone to come home, it's already been a year. So I broke the job contract, broke up with the girl, and went home. I've never met a girl that nice in the years since, and I even specifically lived in a mansion and ran a company right next to a university. And now people tell me I'm too old to be thinking or talking about girls.

[@reverendbarker650]

You don't think people committed adultery before the hippies ? , think again, its always been rife, and often by the most religious and well heeled people .

[@Cuinn837]

@@reverendbarker650 It got even worse after the hippies. Much worse. I remember the VD rate shooting WAY up at the time. The honestly straight-laced didn't get it and didn't have to worry.

[@SunnyDay335]

@@reverendbarker650 It is in the Christian Bible, too. Actually dealt with in all spiritual/religious realms throughout humanity.

[@michaelhines4990]

I was raised in a fatherless home, but my family examples came from Christian families I met when I became a Christian. I bear testimony to what positive examples I got.

[@qjtvaddict]

Yes FAMILIES

[@greggcal4583]

The body of Christ. "Who are my brother and sisters? These are my brothers and sisters."

[@damianholmes3049]

I too was raised in a fatherless Christian home. Question: Where/how did you learn how to carry out the specific and unique responsibilities of manhood and fatherhood?

[@b1crusade384]

You were okay because you did not go stupidity. You don’t need a religion to teach you that although it helps despite the resultant baggage.

[@damianholmes3049]

@@b1crusade384 The level of arrogant ignorance required to tell a random person, how they arrived at the person they are or what they don’t need because YOU see no need for it is astounding.

[@thefleecer3673]

I agree, the summer of love was a facade. I've thought that for a while now. We've ended up with a poorer society because of it

[@caroliner2029]

Agreed. From what I have seen it was the start of the rise of Narcissism. Narcissism and relationship intimacy, love, trust and being able to build a life together are diametrically opposed in their goals. Delayed gratification is good for humans. We need a partner who can do that, thereby displaying self control and demonstrating empathy and consideration of the other person's feelings. They demonstrate self-respect and respect for the other person. They are a good bet for being able to develop trust too, because they'll be faithful to the other person while either is away from home. My last thought along this line is that we want a partner who values the relationship they have with the other person, that some things are special, private, to be cultivated and treated with care.

[@thomasaquinas6628]

The "summer of love" was the name given to the time after the Supreme Court legalized birth control in all 50 states in 1965. It didn't take long for the fallout from that bomb to settle into and poison our entire society.

[@thefleecer3673]

@@thomasaquinas6628 yep. It wouldn't surprise me if the fertility crisis was in some way caused by it as well

[@themsmloveswar3985]

The summer of love, was the complete antithesis of love. It was all about self indulgence, impulsive attention seeking, and IRRESPONSIBILITY.

[@jafdatagraphics]

The hidden gem in this interview is the fact that there is no forgiveness in our modern society. Forgiveness is a Judeo/Christian practice that our anti Christian culture cannot understand. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Only God can forget. Forgiveness is not just letting go, but giving it to God. And, it’s a daily practice. We will be forever bound in spiritual, psychological and metaphysical chains when we don’t forgive.

[@greymanBB]

Forgiveness is not exclusively Christian. Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, many other religions teach forgiveness and non-violence. It is hubris to speak as if all morality comes from Christianity- it is why Christians demonize all other religions .

[@oldtools6089]

Well, it may look as if forgiveness is beyond a nation, but redemption is a measure of empathy and effort its people make on behalf of victims and perpetrators. I believe that, even if there were no words which described it in the laws of our land (there are actually many), it is part of the underlying psychological foundation to a western society today such that should they need be re-written, a governing compass inherent to human understanding would lead us to essentially the same ethos. A lot of what is claimed to secure stability within a society attributed to dogmatic adherence should be scrutinized under the eyes of people claiming they found themselves previously oppressed in that paradigm. Catastrophic failures and repetitions in history lessons already understood arise when this doesn't happen and THAT is a measure of a nation's health, viability and legitamacy. The woke understand it. The bleeding-heart, melodramatic, self-righteous, frivolously occupied latch-keyz with no identity see the writing on the wall and they are often SOOOOO annoying. Like it or not they have the data which backs up the plan. Science- yo.

[@coldhardtruth333]

Forgiveness is not a Judeo/Christian concept. It’s a human concept.

[@MaxDaves]

It is not just a problem with the young. It is a problem across all generations.

[@AA28_2]

Learned so much from this interview. What a wise knowledgeable lady.

[@cristinaoquias8986]

❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

[@alanaadams7440]

I have worked in nursing homes there are many patients that never have visitors we need to value our elderly and honor them

[@Pyasa.shaitan]

Who cares, we made 60% of animals extinct Broke majority of our families.

[@teaadvice4996]

Why?

[@suzann5312]

Up until the late 60s, if a child was fatherless the community helped discipline the child. Now you can't say anything without being sued by the parents.

[@qjtvaddict]

The parent

[@sew_gal7340]

Thats why america is in decline, you wouldnt know it because all of americas talents are taken from other countries...its native citizens are struggling without direction or sense of identity. Other nations are rising (india/china/singapore/taiwan) and their talents are no longer interested in coming to the US , i will wonder what happens in 3 generations without outside brain power and skills to prop up Americas false sense of exceptionalism

[@carolyna.869]

And many parents just want to be the kids best friend rather than a parent.

[@SunnyDay335]

Many parents want their child raised by an unrelated hired source.

[@toddjohnson271]

Fatherless homes were rare.

[@Savvynomad225]

It’s ok to make mistakes, it’s not ok to not learn from them

[@advocate1563]

Agree. One of my personal rules: a mistake is never serious unless it's repeated. I also like Dallio's take on failure: failure + reflection = progress.

[@Kefuddle]

Or to force people to make the same mistakes.

[@phillippenna5558]

as a soccer and ringette coach, I told my players "it is only a mistake if you do it again."

[@zeno2501]

I've read her book. It's absolutely brilliant. I agree with her that this issue is at the foundation of almost all of our other issues.

[@paulturner9998]

I need to read that, as this seems to confirm a lot for me, about the western decline, morally, mentally and institutionally. 🙏👍⭐💞

[@DanSme1]

She wants to blame all societal problems on the decade of the ‘60s. This is simply shallow thinking.

[@skylinefever]

@@DanSme1 I agree, the lack of desire to have children can be traced to the industrial revolution. The industrial revolution removed many advantages of having children. Children could no longer be used as free labor and a pension plan.

[@73elephants]

@@DanSme1 Maybe. However, the decade of the 1960s represents the confluence and triumph of multiple movements that had been gestating since at least the 18th century.

[@kaylenehousego8929]

Thank you both for your willingness to talk openly . There is another challenge that is also taboo for open discussion - many of our churches are now as woke as our places of learning. It would be good to talk about this sooner rather than later John ?

[@jumperstartful]

Yup, as a 78 year old christian i've watched the tragic decline into woke churches and it's a tragedy. But we were warned that there would be a great apostacy in the end times and it's here.

[@JeffCaplan313]

@Jay Aeecee Y'all ain't seen nothing, yet. Wait until Isaiah 4:1 comes to pass, then it'll start being much more obvious to all. Almost there....

[@vrager1564]

Everyone with a moral compass based on Christianity knew that espousing hippy free love promiscuity was a route to unhappiness, broken families, insecure finances and old age misery - all for a bit of short term hedonism that would end with regrets in middle age and beyond. The children from multiple relationships are the victims, and destined to repeat the folly of their parents.

[@srisivaraman8063]

its not just christian morality, most of asian culture (I'm a Hindu, Indian) espouses family values.

[@robertholland7558]

@@srisivaraman8063es I strongly object to this claim of Christianity being beginning and end all of morals and all that. It is utter nonsense! I 100% argue a moral compass would exist without Christianity!

[@Savvynomad225]

Let’s be honest, this entire culture movement is centered around a narrative that men are oppressive and ladies are victim

[@DDeCicco]

@@robertholland7558 Yes, and Christianity operates as one among many useful frameworks to navigate moral and ethical difficulties.

[@sess122]

@@robertholland7558 Well, as the family unit and faithful diminish in the U.S. IMmorality, division and violence has been rising, so whatever "morality" becomes the end result will be a shadow of morality BASED in strong families and faith. Political correctness leads to more and more division/fragmentation.

[@annsheridan12]

A brilliant example of the Chinese proverb “ Be careful what you wish for, or you may get it”

[@nancybartley4610]

That is one of the differences between conservatives and progressives. As a conservative, I am so patently aware of unintended consequences. Of course being like this has its downside. We do need change. We do need to realize that progress is necessary. I regret that we have not found a way to modulate between the two extremes.

[@annsheridan12]

Women outnumber men 2-1 in college. Therefore Hypergamy means that half the women won’t find a man.

[@craigwillms61]

Interesting discussion. Bottomline is that we as a society, as a culture - western culture - endeavor to solve problems by throwing the baby out with the bath water. We can't seem to make small necessary corrections; we destroy and replace. Where sometimes it's necessary to make wholesale changes but only rarely, we ought to take a breath first.

[@kimlennard1024]

She nailed it - those of us that don't go to Uni have no idea what those who do are talking about! Brilliant.

[@shaneanderson6230]

Totally awesome discussion, and I am so glad to have found it. As an Aussie, born in 1960, I can relate to all that has been discussed. I am so glad that John asked the question as to why no one is correlating the statistic that falling Christian values in Australia (and probably globally) are seeing rises in disconnected behaviour. One of the saddest statistics in Australia is the latest census result that we have reached over 50% reporting no Christian belief. One would be somewhat foolish not to conclude that falling Christian values means rising disconnect in society. This discussion nominates a solution to the global problem, and it will not be an easy road to travel, but travel it we must if civilisation is to correct the jilted moral compass of life.

[@thomasjefferson6]

The #1 cause for the decline of Christian belief is the atheism peddled as "science" by university faculties all over the Western world.

[@nunyabiznes4471]

I agree with what you stated. The lack of Judeo-Christian values has been a disaster to society. People became judge, jury, and executioner to justify every act, no matter how evil, they took. The absence of these religions created a terrible void and what it was filled by was evil.

[@skylinefever]

How did Japan manage to rebuild with Shintoism and Zen Buddhism? How did India manage to keep going with Hinduism?

[@thomasjefferson6]

@@nunyabiznes4471 I thank you for your remarks. The root of atheism is evolution theory (taught of course as "fact"), the molecules-to-man belief that insists that no intelligence is needed to create living things that are bursting with genetic information. This demonstrable falsehood continues to be peddled as "science" without any permitted challenge whatsoever. The consequence is that atheism never really gets challenged anywhere, to the delight of Marxists, and of course their allies, the Islamic jihadists waiting to take over when Marxism fails.

[@nunyabiznes4471]

@@thomasjefferson6 I was brainwashed in high school with secularism. I’m 61 now, and two years ago I started going back to church, I’m Roman Catholic, and since I was never confirmed, I have been not only attending adult catechism, but immersing myself in various doctrine and books. A great book is by Thomas E Woods, how the Catholic Church built Western Civilization. The false narrative that Christianity is in conflict with science is absurd, and let’s all “give a shout out” to the monks for the Carolingian minuscule who standardized punctuation, gave us space between words, capital letters, etc. On a final note, the more I connect with my faith, the better my life has become.

[@mlester3001]

This ladies analysis is spot on. The "Pill" became legal in 1960. My parents divorced in 1964. I grew up without a dad to teach me how to play baseball. Instead I spent my time alone and lonely and with no masculine influence to teach me how to be a man. I did finally learn, but not until my late sixties how to be an adult. Fatherlessness did a number on me. The "West" values rugged individualism and going it alone, whereas most cultures have valued families. This is the biggest mistake our culture has made.

[@Foxie770]

The West never valued rugged individualism as a solo sport. It’s supposed to be family unit as foundation of society/smallest unit of government individualism!

[@Easup1]

Great points. You don’t have to agree with everything she says but the ability to acknowledge a thought provoking idea which can move humanity forward is the goal

[@declancarroll1799]

Outstanding conversation 👏 👌 👍. Many thanks. 🍻 from Dublin, Ireland 🇮🇪.

[@christianelauener8975]

Great interview - great values discussed for a brave new world

[@miriamcohen7657]

This gentleman is exactly right about how the regular people fear, and feel.

[@JeffCaplan313]

It's always funny when I find another Cohen who agrees at how messed up the 'message from above' has been, in terms of responding to the words of others. Must be a cohencidence. 🤭 ✌️

[@grandparocky]

This lady has studied and found the root problem of our problems!

[@richcook2007]

But we, at large, will never admit it.

[@matswessling6600]

no. she hasnt.

[@bigt1114]

😳😳!.... Wow!! ... I'm a 66 year old Black Man..and I ONLY listen to Broadcast such as this...with Intelligence... Thought provoking.... people YOU WILL.. NEVER see on "Lying Mainstream Corporate Cable Media!".... I agree 💯 with the observations of your guest.

[@alanaadams7440]

This is the society we get from the 60s saying ", Do your own thing"

[@solaris6070]

Worse than that was the 60s 'If it feels good, do it', a recipe for disaster if there ever was one.

[@rekindlefitness]

A fascinating discussion. This lady is brilliant. Thank you for sharing this interview.

[@Missgevious]

Brilliant interview. I have no family and I understand how this could happen. Loneliness really is the true pandemic. The description of learning life skills from family members (as she mentioned with the cat in the tree example), is the same how adults who suffered childhood PTSD as the result of neglect, abuse and/or all alcoholic/addict parents who don’t learn how to do “normal” things. I never learned about my period or what to do when I got it - it’s a scary world when you don’t know how to deal with normal life experiences, especially when you get shamed or shunned by others who assume you should know how to do this automatically like they do (because they grew up with a family that taught them).

[@nancybartley4610]

Your comparison to CPTSD is spot on. One can come from a two parent family and still not get the nurturing that is needed to navigate life in a healthy way for yourself and others. So I agree with Mary E. but think the explanation is a little more complicated.

[@beth1979]

I remember being puzzled at school because everyone seemed to know how often do shower, wash your hair, and wear deodorant. As a somewhat neglected child I was bullied by people who didn't understand that I wasn't being weird on purpose. At least they taught me the hard way how to have self hygiene. I was in a two parent family, but still in the family system I had some support from grandparents and Aunts who loved me. I think families are still better than the lack of them.

[@paulturner9998]

@@beth1979 I agree. Well said 💞

[@paulturner9998]

Missgevious Definitely agree, with you about the relational way things are passed on from our families, should we have them. Mary E makes some great points I have pondered over myself for a long time. The world we live in (and those who run it, but also the way they run it) wants to make us inhuman and to dehumanize others. Bad parenting has been coming on for generations and the religious decline during that time is more than mere coincidence. Neglectful, absent, over indulgent parents can be just as detrimental to a Childs learned behavior patterns and attachment styles.

[@Missgevious]

@@paulturner9998 yes I agree. Thanks for sharing

[@francesblabey3055]

Mary and John , thank you so much for bringing this to the surface . ❤

[@TranslatedAssumption]

The fact that the overwhelming supermajority of people bought into it was a mistake, the social engineering that brought it to fruition was no mistake whatsoever but rather brilliantly plotted and executed.

[@stephencockett9959]

How can you conduct such a clever and insightful discussion - without even mentioning the fact that all this diabolical societal destruction is in fact absolutely deliberate - and carefully designed by a specific group of subverters.

[@nathanhenson8050]

Your absolutely correct, I too recognize the plot.

[@marciamartins1992]

I thought it interesting when she said," they don't have the words to combat the situation." If we don't have freedom of speech, we have nothing. And the kids are doomed.

[@stephencockett9959]

People need to realise that we, the people of western European stock, are under a direct military style attack. That attack is a calculated psychological subversion attack. If an enemy throws a hand grenade at you - then you know that you have a few seconds to take cover to avoid being harmed. A psychological subversion attack, however, has a longer fuse. It takes about 30/40 years to fully embed within the target culture/society - but when it explodes the damage is massive - far worse than any grenade or bomb.

[@stephencockett9959]

@@marciamartins1992 - can I suggest that you enter into a search engine (like firefox focus) the words: whale frankfurt school This article by Timothy Matthews in March 2009 - is eye-opening. Also the warnings of Yuri Bezmenov.

[@stephencockett9959]

Our current predicament has NOT been brought about by a 'series of unfortunate events', mis-management, mal-administration OR by poor decision making - but by DELIBERATE enemy subversion.

[@sosaysthecaptain5580]

The observations are on point, but neither of you have acknowledged that the destruction is done with malicious intent and is very much on purpose.

[@viramandybur]

Thank you for this enlightening conversation. Mary Eberstadt presented a compelling, compassionate discussion on our current societal problems without vilifying either side of the debate.

[@paulwilson7622]

A marriage, partnership, requires discussion. For example, a man realises he has made a mistake & he apologizes. In order to make the 'partnership' work the woman must ultimately accept that apology. If not, the 'partnership' is over! Nowadays, it is a reason to twist the already inserted knife!

[@skylinefever]

Nowadays, marriage sucks so hard, men say "Love is saying you are sorry even when you aren't."

[@MrPoncho1965]

Fascinating conversation 👍

[@treewalker1070]

I loved this interview because of her compassion. This is what we need, not inflammatory rhetoric that just further divides us.

[@dabearsvt]

Brilliant observation: people need forgiveness, and identity politics does allow for forgiveness.

[@glennwidelko]

Wow ... what a privilege to have witnessed two beautiful, discerning and compassionate human beings ... bring to life so many possibilities ... about many challenging issues we face ... bringing these to life with humanity, humility, discretion, foresight, strength, clarity, equanimity, love, non-judgement ... you exemplify so much of the very best of our species ... thank you!! 🙏

[@bellakrinkle9381]

Family Dysfunction is passed down Generationally. I'm listening for her solution.

[@henrylicious]

It's also encouraged through poorly constructed social programs.

[@davidtuer5825]

You didn't listen hard enough.

[@strafe155]

Children are forced to live in the world their parents left for them. The problem is that the damage has already been done, and I honestly don't know if there is any feasible remedy for this.

[@JacobW98]

Things always come back full circle.

[@jumperstartful]

John 14:6

[@bobomac8330]

Complete collapse, only thing I can think. Maybe the next generation when Christians have had bigger families and have out bred the progressives.

[@user-og6hl6lv7p]

Be the change you want to see. Stop with the self defeatist attitude. Humans have solved far greater problems than this.

[@sarahhughes5590]

Brilliantly said, thank you Mary ❤

[@judymarie1]

A great discussion. Thought provoking and informative. Please have this Ms Eberstadt back on. Cheers from Canada.

[@ozzlicious]

Mary is an excellent speaker with a great mind. Loved the convo

[@petermathieson5692]

What a gentleman is John Anderson. Thank you, and thank you Mary Eberstadt for your deep insight.

[@tommore3263]

You have a world class presence sir.

[@pm9716]

What a great interview, I agree and enjoyed this

[@rw-xf4cb]

Incentivizing the Family is one thing but the Family Court and No Fault Divorce have to change. Why would one marry, knowing 80% of Divorces are initiated by Women (and often the reason is differences) and that the Family court and the legal system seems to incentivize women to divorce to get half and often more of the man's wealth including his retirement savings.

[@skylinefever]

No conservative dares fight against that. That would be too easy. Far better to just call unmarried men cowards and complain about what losers they are. Dr. Helen Smith always loved pointing out to conservative media people that if they don't fix family court, they completely miss the point.

[@Cuinn837]

More and more women are complaining that men don't want to marry or have families.

[@lizgichora6472]

Civility: Societal Crisis can be confronted with open discussions, open minded conversations leading to consensus. We may be different but we ought to protect our shared common values and defend democracies. I m grateful for this Conversation on the great divide on family, identity and belief. Thank you Mary Eberstadt

[@garbonomics]

Fantastic talk. Really good perspective on the zeitgeist of the moment. In the end however, where join said a young person “will realize his life will be determined by his relationships. Not his material success”. I was struck by how right and wrong he was. It’s true you family, friends and relationships in general will be what matters most at the end. Ask any young man however what’s going to determine his relationships? The number 1 answer will be his “economic status”. Certainly in the darting market/family formation realm. I hear young men say this all the time. Women and girls want men who make more $. Reconciling these two realities is not easy.

[@ausforaus7617]

Yes, motherhood should be respected and supported by financial support to ensure it is the mother who raised children, not some stranger in a pre-school or school. The focus is on mothers working, where as I believe the focus should be on mothers being mothers. There is no greater vocation than being a mother ...... none

[@MrsYasha1984]

My daughter gets really offended when someone wants to talk her into being something 'more' than a mommy. She says everything else is not important. She even once told me, that she really wants to be a mom, but she also feels she HAS to do this. Becoming the best mother she can and have children is what she feels called to do. Granted, she is 8. There may come a time she sees things different, when the teenage years start raging. But if she follows her calling and becomes a great mom and puts wonderful new little people on this earth, I know she will have made th world a better place

[@thomasranjit7781]

The destruction of society was a well planned operation, one of the agenda was to get women out of home into workforce so that Hollywood will give value instead of mom and dad.

[@ausforaus7617]

@Melissa Nicole I did not say the financial support should come from a husband

[@coldhardtruth333]

@@ausforaus7617 but why shouldn’t it come from the husband? Why do you want to have kids without a father in the home?

[@coldhardtruth333]

@Melissa Nicole it looks like it’s the mothers who do the leaving ..

[@faysal8597]

Great & essential discussion

[@pwalk4160]

Fantastic discussion. Thank you.

[@SunnyDay335]

It is the thinking within the family that is important. Such as how to parent to raise emotionally, spiritually, physically healthy children that will live peacefully, with grace and understanding with meaning within the group as the group spreads out to society as a whole. Currently, we are losing how to raise a family as so many children are publicly raised.

[@adrak91]

yeh 1000's of years of learned experience thrown out because we thought we could do better

[@airbourne2]

Excellent discussion.

[@adrianalanbennett]

"To fear the Lord is wisdom, and to depart from evil is understanding."

[@SoloRenegade]

religious people love to quote things, but not actually understand things, nor be smart enough to recognize when they are part of the problem. The, "god will save me", attitude.

[@jezzamobile]

@@SoloRenegadeNot just religious people.

[@SoloRenegade]

@@jezzamobile true

[@jayrock360pr]

@@SoloRenegade why get so mad at people doing them , if a person quotes the Bible then quote your favorite philosopher, what's so bad about believing In a god , If you believe in science that's fine What If you die and it was all true You can't say it isn't Let's start being nice to each other I'm so tired of when someone says god You people attack If you don't believe then don't it's all good.

[@SoloRenegade]

@@jayrock360pr If you were better at reading, you might understand. "what's so bad about believing In a god" never said anything to this effect. "What If you die and it was all true" not relevant "You can't say it isn't", watch me, it isn't true. see I said it. "Let's start being nice to each other" you first, hypocrite. you started off by misrepresenting what I said, and falsely accusing me of things I never said. How about you lead by example and be nice before expecting others to reciprocate. "I'm so tired of when someone says god You people attack " that's not what happened here, try to keep up. This had nothing to do with god or believing in god. But you're only proving my point perfectly by showing a lack of reading comprehension. "If you don't believe then don't it's all good." says the person insulting people and misrepresenting them.

[@aaronlopez717]

hello ..in my story even to much real journalism i went to depression, lack of aims - Goals- future now I reflect it Thanks for your speech .

[@mikey6214]

At first I was going to shy away from this video because it was too long. But I stayed and enjoyed the entire hour.

[@matteofurlotti6211]

Why is there no talk about how industrialization affected family structure? It seems a pretty important piece of the puzzle

[@craigwillms61]

Huh, the family survived industrialization, it did not survive the welfare state. Let's hear YOU discuss that.

[@matteofurlotti6211]

@@craigwillms61 so that's the reason why industrialization wasn't discussed at all? It's completely irrelevant? That's your point?

[@marciamartins1992]

Welfare state!? Corporations are the ones suckling the teet of the welfare state at your expense.

[@skylinefever]

I suspect that if people didn't have the "Go forth and multiply" sermons drilled into them during the Industrial Revolution, birth rates would have dropped to almost nothing before the welfare state even arrived.

[@craigwillms61]

@@mudworld5307 I hardly remember this topic, but I think my point was that despite what industrialization might have done to the family structure it survived more or less intact for the nuclear family - you cannot say the same for what Johnson's welfare state did to families in urban America. That is what's true.

[@terrylm235]

Good conversation. Mary's ideas of remedy need to hold our attention and be incorporated in our conversations and dealings with others and our involvement in attending to political matters. We supposedly give direction to politicians with our vote. Talk to strangers where possible, love our neighbour and go back to Church becoming experts in Christianity.

[@mikedowning4869]

Great discussion 👍. We are all in love with the fantasy of limitless options with no checks and blowback. But there's no escaping the consequences of our behaviour.

[@aminawood1737]

Very smart woman! Thank you for the fascinating interview.

[@tl6537]

What an incredible insight,I’ve learnt a lot,thank you

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Excellent interview with a very articulate and interesting guest.

[@kendrom]

Wow, that was a fantastic and very insightful video. Thank you for sharing.

[@davidvalenta9394]

when seeing the unredeemable aspect of being cancelled: I see the insidiousness of the resulting requirement: 1) being made an example to others not to speak up, or confront the imposition of control(s) 2) the effect of reinforcing the mandates of speech, redefinition of words and assumption of authority of the few over the many by social force. the legislation merely follows.. (UK, Canada, USA, and a bit of NZ, all going this route). common sense isn't required, capitulation is.. :(

[@michaelmurray5536]

A very important discussion. Thank you Mary and John. God bless you.

[@MegPea391]

Wow! Can Not Wait to listen!

[@SunnyDay335]

Exactly right, lack of common sense showed among the young full fold when speaking to graduating high school seniors beginning at least 10 years ago. It was as if the common sense these young people once had until the age of 12 evaporated by the time they were 18. Didn't matter whether they were from Independent intact families or single parent families. Did the educational process take it away or is it the adoption of computers? My 26 year old granddaughter doesn't exhibit social common sense and was not privy to social media at that time. She is college educated. Brought up in a protestant church. That is supposed to be a pathway to a wholesome life, which she lives. But we have found the educational system and organized religion have pandered to what is popular (of weak foundation) as opposed to what is right. Education and religion are only as good as the weakest contributor in each sector. Life does not have to be as difficult as it is today. Having lived 72 years, I experienced much, much easier times without labor saving devices and high tech autos, with one phone, one car, one bathroom, shared bed in a modest home. It was easier than today. Correct, God is not dead. Society has thrown away the door knob to open the door for him to be invited into our lives. Every culture has common threads of organization to benefit the individual and the whole culture. There has always been a fringe of people attempting to cut those threads for self-interest and not respectful of the whole. Today, the fringe is loudly making their presence known and in many realms turned into the fake majority. It has been able to do so as it has found a pathway into the weak foundations of society. Any magnificent building set on a weak foundation will fail faster and bring devastating and thorough destruction much more effectively than a magnificent building set on a firm foundation. The building on a weak foundation (lies, untruth, half-truths) will not stand the test of time. We stopped teaching ethics, philosophy, morals to the many in the 1950s/1960s. Today we see where this path has lead. I have witnessed the fringe people overshadow the wholesome, the good, the TRUTH.

[@bansrajmattai4548]

Nothing but the truth! Marriage itself is becoming a thing of the past for larger and larger numbers of people!

[@mikey6214]

Thank you Gloria.

[@veeandrea]

Grateful for the sanity displayed here!

[@peterpunch8136]

Padded up and at the crease.. Good work JA... your putting ' 'em into the grandstand now... Mary E was a great guest speaker. Keep it coming.

[@PanhandleFrank]

12 mins in and I’m hooked!

[@gizellelouis5066]

This has been known for sometime now! It has caused so much misery, but we have to live with the consequences.

[@olwynthecat]

A very interesting presentation, many good points made. I especially like the importance of forgiveness being emphasised and how in woke world there is no forgiveness only cancellation. However I feel that there is no real explanation of how we have got into this situation and who has done this. I suggest more of an emphasis on exploring cultural marxism and the frankfurt school.

[@lanevotapka4012]

This woman is brilliant!

[@williamturns341]

Excellent interview.

[@glennwidelko]

Wow ... I'm so grateful for you sharing this important message Mr Anderson ... a fundamental human quality is we all want to be happy ... and when you look at liberal identify politics ... what you see is a level of desperate unhappiness ... that is staggering to behold ... unhappy people desperately trying to convince themselves that they are happy ... and their 'educational indoctrination' compels them to seek happiness in places that escalates unhappiness ...

[@marylong3371]

Excellent ideas!

[@tommore3263]

Her point on the death of religion being the death of community is so obviously true. I am so fortunate to have been able to look into Christianity... and I discovered how it is that we live in a personalized cosmos ordered towards life and intelligence and freedom. I discovered sanity. What it is.

[@skylinefever]

It provides sanity to some. It makes other people borderline paranoid schizophrenic.

[@themsmloveswar3985]

Another contributing factor is the power of corporatism in keeping wages down, while driving the cost of living up. Effectively turning workers into serfs.

[@1969cmp]

.....I'll have to come back to this interview. There is a lot to digest.

[@johnlacey155]

There is a movie in which Michael Fassbender stars (of which I can't recall the title), where some of these topics are addressed. He as the main character, who is a confident young professional living in Manhattan, comes to a very poignant moment of realisation regarding what life has actually come to. It's very easy to be pulled towards thinking you're moving forward, even if it doesn't involve promiscuity, without fully realising the need to maintain a broader view of what is important.

[@MR-dm1gx]

Absolutely right!

[@bobomac8330]

Ahhh fresh air. Breath deep rational thought.

[@lilnallie05]

All of this reminds me of the song love save the empty “Little girls don’t know how to be sweet girls mummy didn’t teach me Little boys don’t know how to treat little girls daddy didn’t show me”

[@kevingarris198]

Interesting, so Mary was able to see, with great clarity, everything responsible for the riots, with the exception of the grotesque history which precipitated the unrest. I wonder if the pervasiveness of sentiments such as these doesn't serve to further intensify the youth's discontent.

[@pradipamahadeva8051]

Simple HOME TRUTH!

[@aaronbrowning5224]

Great interview John & Mary ! 1- There are examples of what works in old movies & tv shows. Songs of yesteryear were about relationships ie meeting at a dance, park, campus and Dating! 2- Teaching Character Traits, Choices, Consequences, Law of Attraction, Giving Service, Seeking Positive Outcomes by being in environments that nurture success have been unlearned and needs a complete reversal to repair the damage inflicted on our young. 3- Until The Constitution is thoroughly taught, The Bill of Rights understood and it’s connection to Christianity this battle will continue indefinitely. Lastly, the Truth must always be the standard by enforcing laws already on the books but money, bribes and political shenanigans along with Religious capitulation by turning its head and conformity to bad behavior, laws and evils of social conditions created as a distraction to control the masses. When lies are served up every day in the media, double standards and persecution are the norm with no Accountability…it’s time to speak up for Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness and God’s blessings to be shared worldwide…big smile!

[@skylinefever]

Yes, we are all doomed until politicians are no longer puppets of the elite donor class. This system ends up becoming an oligarchy of those who can buy politicians.

[@jcarroll558]

I have a hard time understanding why Mr. Anderson a former Deputy Prime Minister does not understand how and why these themes are occurring???. It is an age old tactic where if the peasants are not fighting amongst themselves they will want to and attempt to look over the castle wall (peer behind the curtain of control).

[@prycelessly]

Wonderful show on a topic not often discussed which needs to be, desperately!

[@edwardsimmons7751]

If you really want to go down the rabbit hole on this issue, read Carl Truman's book, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self.

[@jezzamobile]

"..leave 'em laughing when you go. And if you care, don't let them know.."

[@thelastaustralian7583]

The generational foreign corporatized social psychological conditioning of the destruction of the Australian Families and Communities. Which expressed a healthy and decent Culture . Was 'no' mistake !

[@charlesb9602]

Spot on.

[@jenniferlawrence2701]

The move towards fewer children & fewer siblings is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I'd be interested to see what research is being done into the effects of these changes on individuals. My suspicion is that children with more siblings would be less likely to develop things like social anxiety, may be better socialized, and may be more resilient to life's ups and downs.

[@jumperstartful]

Please consider this. For a society to survive each family must have a minmum of 2 children. nations like china are in big trouble because they had a one child per family law for decades and now it's come back to haunt them. Same with Russia and Germany . They all kept families down to one child per. Russia started paying women to have more children. Germany is in the same boat. They have decreased the population and now they don't have enough of the younger population to support the older population. It has created a financial hardship that can't be solved in a few years.

[@kenlydon1395]

@@jumperstartful China had far too many people anyway and the best thing for the planet would be a halving of their population. Same for India where they are breeding like rabbits and it is irresponsible of these nations to allow their populations to expand to such numbers and then arrogantly expect the rest of the world to feed them and provide the means to " lift them out of poverty" , this causes great destruction of the worlds precious natural environments.

[@skylinefever]

Sure, if done right. Do a mental health assessment of the Duggars and see how many net positives they have.