Matt Rife, The Patriarchy Won't Save You

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Hi! I'm Shaniya but I use the moniker Shanspeare on KZbin. I'm 25, use they/she pronouns, and love all things pop culture! My channel has a lot going on: think Shakespeare meets Baz Luhrmann meets insufferable jester in a relevant but silly costume. I have a bachelor's in English Professional Writing (and basically Literary Analysis--long story) which aids me in the creation of my content. Above all, I wish to emphasize teachability and critical engagement through a fun lens.
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Timestamps:
0:00 matt rife, so confusing
9:48 the inferior feminine
17:07 babbel break
19:05 the patriarchy and you
42:59 what's next
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Tags:
Matt Rife, Netflix, Natural Selection, Video Essay, Manosphere, Femininity, Zach Justice, Matt Rife Stand-Up, Matt Rife Dropouts Pod, Patriarchy Explained, Video Essays Pop Culture, Shanspear

[@Shanspeare]

Hiiii guys! Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel 🎉. Get up to 60% OFF your subscription ➡ Here: go.babbel.com/t?bsc=usa-influ-eg-dt-1m&btp=default&KZbin&Influencer..Jul-2024..USA-TATAM..1200m60-yt-shanspeare-jul-2024

[@laysaferreirasilva2146]

Watch pop culture detectives video about it

[@lillycallie]

@@laysaferreirasilva2146今天

[@mrsoul6825]

Thanks so much for the nikki giovanni and james baldwin interview suggestion

[@Hybrid_The_Hero]

This is just another lesbian predatorial grooming gang channel

[@ashes2ashley230]

not you having to censor your feet while on your bed. on behalf of all men i am so sorry

[@Hahlen]

Dude won the fucking lottery of being rich, famous, and desired by thousands of women and said “nah, I wanna be misogynistic instead”

[@arlensandinobarrameda8108]

He didn’t used to be good looking, when this misogynistic side surfaced (wherein he issued the apology link to a helmet for kids with special needs) some videos/pictures of him resurfaced, he wasn’t desirable to women back then.

[@Sondi]

That face the result of hella surgeries and botox

[@abstract5249]

@@arlensandinobarrameda8108 He may have had plastic surgery. There are older photos of him in which he didn't look nearly as good as he does today. Nothing wrong with that, of course. It's his character that's the problem.

[@chalkandcheese1868]

​@@arlensandinobarrameda8108Well to straight women he was

[@arlensandinobarrameda8108]

@@abstract5249 yup no prob with the surgery. His body, his choice.

[@mesadrums375]

Bro had a golden ticket and couldn’t just wait it out. People would kill for that growth in comedy, all he had to do was keep making good comedy and the guys would eventually start to come.

[@apathybronson]

And even if they didn't. Many people have bosses they don't like or think they're better than. Just shut up and take those women's money.

[@tiger-22]

"keep making good comedy" LOL

[@mesadrums375]

@@tiger-22 he has decent crowd work and decent jokes from pre tik tok stuff. The kid has been on the scene since he was like 15, toured with Ralphie May. Say what you want but you have to have some sort of routine to tour with someone like that.

[@vishnu2407]

​@@mesadrums375i don't think I've ever seen these I usually find his stuff distasteful. He had good jokes?

[@VGbeck22]

@@vishnu2407comedy is subjective. It’s not for everyone. What you find funny is going to be different than what I find funny and that’s a good thing.

[@Ivory81]

The moment I realised that women's interests aren't seen as 'genuine' by men, occurred with my step-father. My mother and I met him after a game in his golf club to get lunch. We sat by a window that overlooked the course and I noticed a group of elderly ladies playing a round and having fun. My step-father remarked ''I kind of miss the man only clubs. Y'know, people who played seriously.'' and it stuck out to me, because I couldn't figure out why he assumed the women took it any less seriously then the male members. After lunch i mentioned that I'm interested in golf and would like to join him one day for a game. he chuckled and said ''Maybe in the range'' -- the practice course -- ''But you and your mother can feel free to use the spa while the boys and I play?'' To this day I'm baffled by the interaction and the underlying misogyny, intentional or not (although he has made quite similar comments since). Women's interests will never be taken as seriously as men's by men no matter how dedicated they are. England fans' comments during the Euro's and the complete lack of respect or praise for the women's team (who won for them), purely because ''it's not the same'', is also highly notable, but that's a rant for another day. in the end I'm just a 16 year old girl who wants my peers' and I's interests to be taken half as seriously someday.

[@Younghoulhead]

They arent genuine because you cant stfu and keep it to yourselves

[@cronic932]

A womans team win is different to the mens team srry @ivory81

[@luxxlenore1006]

@@cronic932 and that was the main thing that stuck with you about this comment? dear god. literally just proving their point lmao.

[@Walleyedwosaik]

@@cronic932not in Australia's eyes our women's team came third in the women's World Cup and it was the most watched tv event in Australian history (I’m pretty sure) and the entire country including got behind them but no one gaf about the Socceroos the male team lmao

[@cronic932]

@@Walleyedwosaik Ye im aussie and thats fax lmao I think aus just cares more abt women sports idrk why tho

[@hectoralvarado3173]

Thanks for this video. It showed me that I have unfairly belittled my wife’s interests in women focused entertainment ( bridgeton most recently ). I owe her an apology and need to be on the lookout for this bad habit.

[@daniv8500]

Damn thank you for listening and applying it to your own life, I'm sure your wife will really appreciate it!

[@blakewhite3131]

That's so nice that you took this opportunity to reflect on your own behaviour! Proud of you, man :)

[@dana_5589]

Thank you for being a great example to other men! We love to see it!!

[@data_expunged97]

Good for you! It’s definitely tough to do, I have to catch myself a lot when I find myself about to belittle someone for liking something just because I don’t like it, especially when there’s some aspect of gender to it (ie, thinking something is only for “basic white girls”), but it’s important to do when you want to support the people you care about

[@RaroHi]

If femininity is considered dehumanising, imagine how men with that outlook view women.... It all makes sense and is depressing.

[@shadowfox2730]

They did this to themselves. I used to feel bad for them and would stick up for them. But from what I'm seeing, let them be depressed.

[@crestfire8008]

I don't care about them anymore

[@arbitarious]

@@crestfire8008same. My only worry is that in some spaces anti men sentiment or even indifference to male suffering will 5% become anti trans women sentiment and it’s kinda scary it’s why I have to be super careful with which feminist spaces I partake in. This community is cool tho everyone is nice to me. I gave up caring about men when they hurt my sisters

[@seeleunit2000]

That says more about our culture than anything else. And moreover to the point, why should women have to be punished for this ? Why should we have to pretend that femininity and being a woman is a terrible thing that we should be punished over or that men make it our problem ?

[@daeve915]

I don't understand this statement

[@britneybij3997]

The way that Matt Rife thought he could appeal to a demographic of men by bashing on women says alot about not only how he sees other men, but what seems to be a pattern for what men find entertaining....that shit is disturbing

[@cassiusdhami9215]

👍🏾🎯🧠💯👏🏾

[@07Flash11MRC]

"appeal to a demographic of men by bashing on women": Sadly, that's the norm so he wasn't entirely wrong...

[@seeleunit2000]

Well yeah, a bunch of creepy incels and neckbeards.

[@natasha5553]

There are hundreds if not thousands matt rifes out there and even more men who defend them to the hilt despite their crimes

[@LoneWulf278]

@@07Flash11MRC Exactly

[@mars-guajardo2507]

It angers me how men get to riot in the streets and destroy property bc their favorite football team lost but then women are seen as hysterical for uhmmmm liking musicians… ?

[@paradiso4562]

Do you even know what hysterical means

[@MrsLPAmy]

yes I do. it's still a double standard. ​@@paradiso4562

[@artifalse]

@@paradiso4562i understand the misogynistic history and it actually fits perfectly in this context

[@paradiso4562]

@@artifalse Women are not seen as hysterical for "liking musicians."

[@ktyss1626]

​@@paradiso4562 where have you been your whole life? Cuz literally that's one of the first thing associated with a fangirl

[@caranook]

‘We get loads of girls at our gigs, and we get criticised for that because people think that’s too poppy. “Ooh, you’ve got girl fans”, so we can’t possibly be serious. That is soo patronising because these people are saying girls aren’t real fans, like they can’t possibly understand the music and they’re not going to have fifteen pints of lager, have a big mosh down the front and have a curry on the way home. And they should be at home reading Jackie and thinking about blokes. It’s crap! In terms of sensitivity and intelligence, girls understand so much more than men. We are proud to have them at our shows, most male rock bands only appeal to men which is telling in a way.” - Richey Edward’s, Manic Street Preachers.

[@mariaathena7910]

i loved them, I'm female!

[@derek96720]

Girls tend to like what's socially acceptable. That's a fact. Just look at comic books. Girls didn't start fangirling their favorite marvel heroes until after the movies with sexy hollywood A-listers came out. There's always a token population of women who like unconventional things. But most go with what other women flock to. Anyone that denies this hasn't been part of a fandom before it got popular.

[@Progressunlikely]

​@@derek96720I would argue that because superheros were not mainstream yet, it would have been a personal interest and I can attest to comic book stores and even music shops being very gatekept and even downright hostile to venture into alone.

[@willrmmerhunter]

​@@derek96720 Tell me you dont know anything about the comic book audience without telling me you dont know anything about the comic book audience. The vast majority of Marvel movie fams, regardless of sex, never read comics before. Also, saying it's a woman thing to follow the trend is WILD. Are tou friendless ? Im sorry for you.

[@aorihanazari524]

@@derek96720 Sounds like a personal opinion. Girls have liked comic books since the beginning--you just didn't see them because comic spaces that are male-heavy tend to be very hostile to girls and women but female fans have been there since beginning of arts. However, if you find a study that shows men are more likely to support things before they're socially acceptable and women don't, please do share.

[@bellathelittle6645]

that tulip corset is the cutest thing ive ever seen im living

[@Boevs]

Anyone who knows where it is from? In love with it

[@popcandy44]

Right omfg it's stunning!!!

[@natnuss98]

It's so cute!

[@greenstingray]

@@Boevs French meadows corsets

[@sarahenson9659]

I was here to say the same thing

[@noplace3571]

"All my audience are women, so I'm going to alienate them. I can't imagine how this can go badly for me." Matt, probably.

[@B.Harper7]

@noplace3571 Do I want my bills paid, a possibly global career, and a future in comedy............... Nope, I want a while lot less people, well actually -just men to come to my shows, AND I want them to have seen all of my shirtless pictures and commented on them!!!! Ooooh oooh, but I want them to come to my shows, and tell me I'm funny, face to face!!! 😁 👀👀👀👀😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 Ummmmmmmmmm, OK Matt, those are certainly.......... choices to make..........

[@thedevicebook]

Nintendo did this as an ad marketing strategy which baffled me too. In the early 80s, little girls loved video games just as much as little boys. Ms Pac Man performed better financially than the original Pac Man too. Then for some odd reason Nintendo said "we could keep selling games to kids of all genders. OR we could put out ads saying video games are for boys & a way for boys to show how very boy-like they are." And those boys grew into men who still thought video games were just for men, which led to gatekeeping, and at it's worst, the online harrassment campaign "Gamergate." So it strikes me that while I can't blame toxic masculinity on Nintendo, I can say that video games didn't need to turn out this way (and other game companies following Nintendo's strategy didn't help either.)

[@Kabullo76]

@@thedevicebook that's why i love Nintendo , gatekeeping is the right thing

[@nai110]

​@@Kabullo76 Trolls used to be better

[@thedevicebook]

@Kabullo76 actually Nintendo has shifted strategies away from their 1980s mentality because they realized they sell more games if they appeal to more people (for example Animal Crossing was widely popular across demographics.) Since you admire Nintendo so much, maybe you should try shifting your thinking too. If you really just want to stick to gatekeeping, I will gladly close the gate on this conversation since I don't have the energy for a back and forth argument with a stranger online.

[@brunacandida4232]

My man is so certain he is not funny that the only reason he thinks a woman would go to see his shit is because of his looks. This is the funniest thing about him

[@decoraqueena6413]

He isn't funny though. That's for sure.

[@henriettebopda5895]

@@brunacandida4232 he's more insecure than misogynist, that's what most women who dragged him didn't get..

[@brunacandida4232]

@@henriettebopda5895 its a shame cause when he is not being the worst, he is nice and funny

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

Lol this is definitely one of the funniest takes...he dug his own grave in a ruthless industry that will not let him recover

[@NoxAeterna-wf4iv]

His looks are from surgery and make up. Many men are getting lip and jaw surgery nowadays. Look at one of his old photos and you will know.

[@watchcloudspassmeby]

I’m thinking about the times Harry Styles and Bo Burnham came to the defense of their teenage girl audience. Both of them, in their own way, acknowledged that teenage girls are often tastemakers in pop culture, the most obvious and most talked out being The Beatles of course. But it’s funny, because now every boring white guy drools over The Beatles. I hope in thirty years they give One Direction the same flowers lmao ❤ Anyway, ultimately, Matt Riffe has to say people are offended by his work because, well, he’s not clever enough to do actual comedy. EDIT: lmao I wrote this right before the girl professing her love for the Beatles! Amazing.

[@natalialondono1356]

Woww I love the Beatles too 😭 but I know what you mean. And me too girl, one direction deserves there place in the history books too 😂

[@derek96720]

Pretty sure by "tastemakers" you mean "socially-acceptable bandwagoners." Women act like it's somehow countercultural to like One Direction, one of the most popular bands on the planet. XD

[@watchcloudspassmeby]

@@derek96720 By tastemakers I mean responsible for the mean stream, obviously, c’mon, use your brain for thinking instead of spewing misogyny

[@derek96720]

@@watchcloudspassmeby Perhaps you ought to use yours to form coherent arguments rather than spewing ad hominems and projections.

[@DragonGirl48]

@@derek96720 why would they need to argue with you when you are the one who can't seem to grasp what they are even saying, and then acting like your misunderstanding is good enough for a 'gotcha' counterpoint LMAO

[@zexionthefirst6767]

That "you're the one not surviving your vape, Jimmy" joke is funnier than anything Matt Rife has ever come up with

[@jaxj968]

yes 😭

[@zexionthefirst6767]

@@derekjordangregg7468 As per my last email, her bit about Victorians out vapeing todays youth is funnier than anything Matt Rife has come up with. Hope that helps ❤️

[@333scy]

​@@derekjordangregg7468i refuse to believe you're a real person

[@valolafson6035]

​@@derekjordangregg7468 Is she a comedian?

[@Cixon14]

@@derekjordangregg7468For someone who doesn’t find her funny you sure have a lot to say about her. How many comments have you made on this video my guy? Just leave bro. Literally just click off and watch someone you like lmaooo

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

13:50 He threw a speaker through a table and in a split second said 'it's not my fault'. Oh my gosh, the cognitive dissonance of masculinity is next level

[@randomlyswatching9481]

😂😂😂that one is fan boy

[@magical-soap5359]

He is a nightmare 😤

[@wutduck1763]

Makes me think of that one animation about a guy hitting his girlfriend with a table. Like it’s funny how absurd it is that, despite doing something objectively wrong to her, he still denies his actions and puts the blame on her. It’s also sad knowing that as absurd as it is, it’s hardly far from the truth as to how a lot of men will treat the women in their lives

[@junaurrrr]

⁠@@wutduck1763 idk if I can link videos in comments but I know what video you’re talking about (kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4O3ZZWLoZecfKMsi=VhkcmjjNO5RfLnt7)

[@jesterdays]

It's absurd. I hope he faced consequences for that bs.

[@fabdragon2071]

It is jusy crazy because Barbie, Mean Girls and Legally Blonde have proven having a women/gay audience translates to money. However, Male directors only really want male audience focussed movies.

[@augustlunaonline]

I work with high school kids and it is so sad to see teenage boys who only know how to connect with their peers by relentlessly teasing/mocking them. There is very little honesty, earnestness, and vulnerability with their friends. They don’t know how to connect with each other, so they just bully each other! It’s true, they are victims of the patriarchy. They are miserable inside but also make everyone around them miserable as well.

[@thac0twenty377]

that's how we've always done it lol where have you been?

[@loveydovey7264t]

​@@thac0twenty377 but they're not really friends if you're not close? Bullying each other will just make you insecure and prone to unhealthy relationships

[@thac0twenty377]

@@loveydovey7264t I've been through it. It's a thin line but there's a difference between bullying and trash talking. there's ways going to be people that push boundaries. the one thing that's awful is the online factor

[@Frank-DuxVanDamme]

Patriarchy? Jesus 🤦 It's being a teenager,going through puberty, that's all.

[@galaxyocicat5660]

@@Frank-DuxVanDamme tell that to conservatives who complain about young boys doing worse in school

[@gregvs.theworld451]

Men have pure intentions going to his shows? I mean, connotations, but does he think no gay or bisexual man who might find him attractive has ever gone to one of his shows?

[@layma5113]

He also seems to forget there are lesbians who by definition don't care about his "good looks" 😒

[@strawberrysolar9086]

@@layma5113 and aroace women

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

I had the same thought. Like do gay men not exist in his little head or...?

[@lightinthedusk]

⁠​⁠@user-xr7ci8tf3e He’s extremely insecure. This is what happens to some guys who originally were considered “ugly” or “uncool”. As soon as they glow up (or in his case, gets cosmetic surgery and dental work), they get an inflated ego about their attractiveness, so they keep drawing attention to that. Meanwhile, inside they are still super insecure from all their years of not being accepted as one of the “good-looking cool guys” by the other guys. That’s why right now he’s desperately trying to pander to a male audience. He’s still trying desperately to get validation from the “bros” that he never got when he was younger. Too bad he thinks he has to do it at the expense of women, who actually were his genuine fans

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

​@user-xr7ci8tf3e Incels would be out to 'humble' them real quick

[@agirlsrambles]

Why does he looks like the love child of Toy Story Ken and Handsome Squidward?

[@alyssapinon9670]

And how he actually paid to look that way. If you’re gonna spend money on surgery and complain how hard it is to be handsome, why would you make yourself look like a Ken doll from the uncanny valley

[@klaudia5003]

Do you think he looks like Prince Charming from Shrek too?

[@offensivename11]

Because his chin has been glued on.

[@VictoryXR]

@@alyssapinon9670are you sure he did? Or are you assuming that?

[@crestfire8008]

Cause that face is manufactured in a factory

[@AutumnLovingPallette]

All these little boys being insecure about women liking them - I’m certain Paul McCartney, Harry Styles and BTS are sobbing into their MULTIMILLIONS made from playing to paying women!

[@miaumiaumiaumiaumiauou]

bts mentioned

[@theewildrose]

I forget who he said it to but Tupac told another artist to make music for women and don't bother with guys because women will actually buy the albums and stick by you lol

[@ohnopleasestop483]

I said it a hundred times and I say it a hundred times more. Where is the difference of knowing the names of every member of a boy band compared to knowing the names of every football player in your favourite team? It’s patriarchy. One is for girls and therefore cringe and one is for boys and therefore they are real fans not fangirls for football players etc.

[@MrNukedawhales]

the difference is one is sexually "loaded" the other isnt. sex sells, which is why boy bands are sucessful. while football is about skill - noone supports a team because they have soooo nice hair... or at least no one ive ever heard of... the look doesnt matter - it seems patriarchy is less superficial than feminists... anyway... some teens screaming when they see their dream prince, might be cringe, but some 40 something thirsting for some young boys, is creepy.

[@ohnopleasestop483]

@@MrNukedawhales what about female football fans? They’re not seen as cringe when they support a football team and thirst over the players. And what about female players? Are they not sexualised?

[@MrNukedawhales]

@@ohnopleasestop483 if that was the case the wnba would make more money than the nba... or at least make a profit - same goes for these soccer chicks, who constantly whine that they dont get paid the same as men - why is that, do you think? are the male soccer players so much more attractive than the female soccer players? people arent interested because females are less athletic and slower... they dont come to the see the girls, they come for the sport. now replace the members of a boy band of your choice with ugly dudes and then watch how much money they will make - none.

[@MrNukedawhales]

@@ohnopleasestop483 my last response got autodeleted - so.. in short: why does the wnba make no profit? who do these women soccer teams lose money? do you really think a team of ugly football players who wins the super bowl makes less money than a good looking team constantly losing? people dont care about the looks. now replace the members of a boy band with ugly dudes and tell me wether this affect the bottom line or not.

[@MrNukedawhales]

@@ohnopleasestop483 what about the wnba or female soccer? why dont they make a profit? are the female players so much more ugly than the male?

[@kuyoshie]

I always found it jarring how men perceive being “feminine” in any way as a dehumanising insult, but women are taught that being perceived as “one of the boys” is the highest compliment a man can give. edit: so many people (cough men cough) seem to miss the point. It’s not about explicitly using the word “feminine”, it’s about using terms that are typically perceived as feminine; pretty, sensitive, gentle, vulnerable, etc. would be treated as an insult when used to describe a man. All while traits perceived as masculine are the holy goal for a woman to feel genuinely recognised and validated as a *real person* (stuff like self assured, direct, strong, ambitious, etc.). It wasn’t mean to be a direct comparison between “feminine” and “one of the boys” because they both result from the same exact root cause; misogyny and patriarchy that are deeply embedded within the society. All my comment did was talk about two sides of the same coin. I know reading comprehension can be tough sometimes, but it’s really not rocket science

[@Sintanity]

It's the same argument. Being feminine is bad, so showing more masculine traits is good. Whether you're considered a woman or not 🤷‍♂

[@RikoAyaka455]

Ehh its not that simple. Surely nobody thinks that butch women are so loved and appreciated by our society..

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

It's a simple, stupid 'man good woman bad' thing

[@hughcaldwell1034]

It confuses the hell out of me, and has done since primary school. I'm a cis guy and feel genuinely great if someone calls me feminine or gives me a fem-coded compliment like "pretty", etc. I remember girls in theatre class saying "Don't be offended but you would make a really pretty girl," when we were doing make-up and, like, why would that offend me?

[@MariLionheart]

​@@hughcaldwell1034do you ever consider the idea of being trans or just be you?

[@KatBaumgarten]

Matt Rife is the "not like other girls" of standup comedians

[@haruhwa]

i was JUST thinking about that

[@gealdbrisoce649]

Lol

[@mickmichaels4245]

This poll they took in 81 on masculinity reminds me of my young insecure self. I had long hair and was kinda androgynous looking back when i had my first girlfriend. One day she called me beautiful. It was in a cute innocent way, but i blew up and had a meltdown. Im so glad i grew up after a couple of years and learned i can be beautiful and have other female traits.

[@beth-bi9yv]

Yup, society demeans and belittles anything tied to being feminine. He was lashing out because he didn't want to share the scorn he so obviously has for women.

[@dharma6525]

Maternal complex

[@borza4440]

I date a cishet man, who, when I asked him about his own relationship to his gender said "I am a man, I know I am a man, and therefore everything I do is masculine - I define things, not thing define my gender. If a dude is trans - they are a man, and what they do is manly because of that, even if he's wearing a dress. " which I think is a quite healthy, although unconventional approach to this topic.

[@scottbuck1572]

This is EXACTLY how I see it: identity is fluid and every changing, I am a cis het man, but what that looks like is complete up to me, and could be completely different day to day. Like your bf said, a dress is masculine if the person wearing it identifies as a man.

[@derekjordangregg7468]

Lot of modern men think this way. We just get lumped in with the rest of them and don’t have the energy to make sure everyone knows we’re different. Plus you label us as “not all men” men. So why defend ourselves. Luckily those of us in relationships like your boyfriend and myself at least have their girlfriends to care who we really are. Because the rest of us are just assumed to be wicked.

[@k8tieisjustjusthere]

@@derekjordangregg7468the people who think EVERY man is bad are stupid, the vast majority don’t think that bro. when people say “all men” they mean that since there’s so many bad men out there who aren’t punished or held accountable for the sh!t they say and do- it’s hard to trust any man. ofc i get you’re frustrated by being lumped in with them and when you try to defend yourself people say “ugh you’re a part of the ‘not all men’ crowd,” but no one’s upset at like… normal guys (at least no one with basic elementary school level critical thinking is) we’re upset at the system as always bro 🫡🫡 sorry you’re getting caught in the crossfire

[@GargoylePrincess]

@@derekjordangregg7468 you’re getting mad at victims of horrible things for being apprehensive of the demographic who did them harm. It’s okay to feel sad and bad that as a man or a masculine person we will be seen as threatening. That is sad. Don’t blame woman for that. Blame the countless men who have made them feel so unsafe that they can’t trust any of us. You being mad at them and making it about you is like if someone got punched directly in the face by someone who looks like you and your first instinct is to be mad at them for not trusting you when they’re the ones who got hurt. Talk to the other men in your life about how we can do better and be safe people for those have have been harmed

[@BelBelle468]

@@derekjordangregg7468 I think that part of why the Kendrick vs Drake beef got so big. One of Kendrick’s criticisms was his treatment of women, and how it stems from weakness. And he was very pissed about it. And it’s so nice to see a “win” from a man with that mentality, and the massive support he’s got. Shows the tides are changing, and while there are horrible men out there, other men are actively changing and fighting back and it’s really heartwarming to see. So I don’t think ppl presume men are immediately evil. Heck, if that was the case there would be less female victims cuz they would have had to trust men to a certain extent to become vulnerable to begin with.

[@freckledandred]

I quit stand up comedy this year because it's not even about telling jokes anymore. It's about being intentionally offensive then guilting your audience for being woke if they don't think you're funny. It's not even a boy's club anymore. It's an incel club

[@SleepyMatt-zzz]

I haven't watched stand-ups since the 2000s. Contemporary comedy has always been about punching down. It's why comedians from that time are bitching about being "canceled".

[@seraphim108]

I follow a couple of comedians on KZbin and I've yet to run into anything like that. Maybe it's your feed? Algorithms are attempting to appeal more to rage nowadays.

[@StartOfTheYear]

Because of the internet, there are so many more diverse comedians you can find with so many different world views. Comedians like Malik Elassal, Liz Blanc, Taylor Tomlinson, Gianmarco Soresi, Matteo Lane, and many more. Hell, I would even say Trixie, Katya and many other drag queens are adjacent to professional comedians. Main stream might be a little shit but if you take the time to look, there are good comedians.

[@freckledandred]

@@seraphim108 I'm talking about stand up comedy not internet comedy. Like I comedy clubs

[@freckledandred]

@@StartOfTheYear again I'm talking about what I see in person at the comedy clubs. Not whatever is trending on tiktok and they are not diverse with who they book at clubs

[@Meowzer030]

And he’s not even that cute…

[@amiraa_...]

he looks like if a block of cheese asked to be a person

[@seamusb9012]

It's funny how as an adult, I can see this script in myself when I was younger. The way when I was attacked for being not masculine enough, I'd find someone to pass it down the line to. Now that I'm father of a boy, how do I avoid that for him? Anyway, glad to be in the 20% of your audience!

[@hektorsehmsdorf1336]

I don't have the answer to that but I feel like I learned a lot of useful stuff about male socialization from bell hooks' book "the will to change" Maybe it would be useful for you? Good luck with your son!

[@dragonartist22222]

i think recognizing that it's an issue is half the battle so you're doing pretty good 👍

[@lacey892]

As a parent to a young boy, we talk about sexism, masculinity, and gender roles/performance a lot. We consume media w female musicians or movies/shows with strong female leads. (We love Steven Universe and Ghibli films, for example) I try to make sure he sees/is aware of different cultures and social/family structures aside from the typical western patriarchal heterosexual nuclear family with men as the 'head of household'. I decenter men when possible so that masculinity isn't seen as the 'default' with everything else being 'other' or 'less than' in comparison by searching out doctors/teachers/mentors for him that are women. When he was younger, I would jump on family or acquaintances who would demean women in front of him or commit little microaggressions that convey the idea that women are inferior... for example, when someone says to 'suck it up bc boys don't cry', 'you look like a girl w your long hair you need it cut', 'boys don't play with dolls', 'you throw/run like a girl' ... that sort of thing.

[@taylamuller1811]

@@lacey892this all sounds amazing, well done parent!

[@frozenweevil4022]

He has a fascinating vendetta against his own career. It seems that at every possible turn and opportunity to expand his career, he deliberately seeks to sabotage it with the reality of his own dullness, his own stupidity, and the insatiable fact that he is just not funny.

[@InternetNonsense]

Too proud to be liked by women, seems kinda fruity tbh. What happened to it being cool to attract women? Bieber fever and boyband craze raking billions in marketing? I get some men being jealous, but Reddit weirdos really shot themselves in the foot lately and now are whining about loneliness after conditioning each other to be insufferable and repulsive, you can't make this up. They made this "culture" of crapping on women they can lie in it when we leave them alone to their devices. At least I'm grateful they made our fog lift so early so we realize we are indentured servants to them for nothing and should stop.

[@vaporeonice3146]

My wife shared a lot of his TikTok clips with me, and I actually found most of them VERY funny. They were usually crowdwork, improvised stuff that he seemed to do really well. I haven’t seen his full performances (I’m not even sure if I’ve seen…like…a pre-prepared joke of his, except for really short sections like the one in this video), but it seems like they’re SIGNIFICANTLY worse. It seems like he can be funny if he makes an effort to meaningfully connect with and engage an audience. When he tries to put on a performance, especially one like his Netflix special where he was REALLY trying to appeal to men, he doesn’t hit the mark at all.

[@_Sloppyham]

@@vaporeonice3146when I used to watch him he was a solid 6/10…but that was when he wasn’t talking about his looks, going on rants, or beating the same dead horse. Could be above average at his best, but held back.

[@manderly33]

He has a specific skill that could have made him famous and wealthy (women have cash to spend) and instead he pivoted toward something for which he has no obvious skill. So stupid.

[@queenofbeinghungryaf1025]

I watched some of his videos and some jokes landed others were cringe but it was really getting unbearable to hear him refer to women as bitches,hoes and whores. It's always so tiring to discover a comedian who is a man saying one funny joke in a short to then get immersed and hear them refer to women as females or bitches. It's so draining to watch and i end up giving up trying to enjoy "offensive comedy". Anyway,while watching his jokes on his self esteem,you can tell he us truly insecure in himself as a man. That's part of the reason(in my opinion) that he did the plastic surgery that he did(allegedly?). His goal was to be validated by people especially men because a lot of men are brought up to homosocial,seeking validation from other men that they see as "alphas" who are at the top. He definitely bought into the macho men beauty standards and behavioral standards. It's sad to see insecurity brood like that and him embracing it but not changing it. At first i thought it would be refreshing that a man would talk about his experience glowing up and his insecurities despite having become the standard but he really didn't grow from it and just got worse and worse.

[@technojunkie123]

I honestly didn’t know who he was when my friend asked if I wanted to go see his stand up show with her, I said sure if his tickets were like $50 or so - she told me it was $450 🤯 I decided to check out his videos to see why he charged so much, and BABYYY I still didn’t see it I was sitting 😐 through his whole online set

[@alyssapinon9670]

The confidence of a mediocre cishet white male comedian is why

[@stefunnylim]

$450 is insane what 😭 the audacity

[@AyAReI00]

Are women willing to pay 450 for being insulted by that man ?

[@ashleybowles7732]

For 450 dollars come to Montreal for a free comedy show each summer

[@idontneedaname318]

HE'S CHARGING $450? I've seen his specials before this that shit is NOT worth that kinda money

[@antdrioite]

Glad KZbin pushed this video on me. Got yourself a new male subscriber. I have found the toxicity within male circles a burden since I was a little boy. To this day the gender binary is always the norm wherever I go or work. Patriarchy limits men by being so close minded I feel.

[@grungekitty77]

It's shockingly common for men to resent their own success when it comes from women. Supernatural, 5 Seconds Of Summer, Sons Of Anarchy, you get the sense they would've rather been flops. They want to be "manly" more than they want to be rich.

[@thesilentgod7863]

Supernatural too? Wait what?? You gotta tell me everything, give me all the all the juicy details and leave no crumbs or at least point me to a video or something

[@laurepichet]

​@@thesilentgod7863 the directors/writers kept making fun of the fandom in the show, portraying the fans as crazy objectifying creeps that don't clear about the story, only about the sexual aspects of the characters.

[@thesilentgod7863]

Uhhh why men

[@grungekitty77]

@@thesilentgod7863 Because I have never in my life seen a successful woman resent her female audience, while I could immediately think of three men owned projects that did before the video mentioned them???

[@thesilentgod7863]

Men just be making their own lives and all others’ miserable

[@MaudSolli]

I remember when I told a male friend of mine I was excited to see Dunkirk when it came out in cinema's, the first thing he said was, "Oh are you watching it because Harry Styles is in it?" Bro, we both took the media course together Edit: Since I see you wondering, I wanted to see the film cuz it's directed by Christopher Nolan. I really liked his consepts and filmstyle at that time. I also didn't know Harry Styles was gonna be apart of the film until I saw the trailer.

[@shadowfox2730]

I notice that a lot of men think women only like hot men, makeup, and. It's like men have one dimensional why of thinking.

[@KD-ou2np]

I didn't even know harry styles was in it

[@shadowfox2730]

@MaudSolli I noticed that a lot of men think that women only like hot men, makeup, and shopping. Like men only have one why of thinking.

[@00s.v.n.s00]

​@@hansmemling2311Your Andrew Tate is showing bro. That question wouldn't be asked if she were a dude. Additionally, both could be true: she wants to see Harry Styles + she likes WWII media. Way to show how little you respect women. 🤙🏾🤙🏾

[@shadowfox2730]

@hansmemling2311 She doesn't have to answer that question. Why can she want to see the movie because it looked good? Or she just likes war movies?

[@TheVoiceofTheProphetElizer]

I legit forgot about Matt Rife - not to be mean or try to be cute or anything, but thinking back now...I have not seen anything out of him in months. That's crazy because he was every where at the beginning of the year.

[@xejelah]

was he?

[@TheVoiceofTheProphetElizer]

@@xejelah He was because he had tried to manufacture controversy surrounding himself for the sake of proving he was a "real" comedian and not just a face and he was semi-successful in it but then just as quickly as it all flared up, he was gone.

[@B.Harper7]

@TheVoiceofTheProphetElizer You're right, unless someone is watching the podcasts and shows that Matt has been going on, he wouldn't be on their radar. This is the first time in months I've seen or thought about him as well, not in a snarky way. I liked him in the beginning, but stopped watching when he was getting mad that everyone just wanted him to do crowd work, and started cutting it back for pre-written jokes. It was all repeats in diff location, so I was watching different comedians. Like Josh Johnson!!!!!! A friend of mine has a whole theory on how Matt is gay or bi and Matt thinks this is the only way he can come out without losing any male fans..... It ridiculous and that our friend was trying "to manifest his Crush to be queer", UNTIL the bombed show, and Matt did exactly what our friend said 🤣😂 Idk if he's correct, even though I haven't watched new content, I'm keeping my eyes open for any big announcements in the coming years 👀

[@xJusteBx]

He had really strong career momentum and virility that he completely derailed lol

[@r.e.w.7276]

I had no idea who he was until I saw this video tbh

[@mayoucheghalil5722]

I need to give my little brother a hug and ask him a few questions. Thanks for this video. It shined some light on some behaviors I never quite understood from him.

[@aarongiberson5140]

man here, this is better than dude's special.

[@floreya67]

I agree, Shan is actually funny!

[@jenniferklein1707]

"They are privileged but that privilege isn't love" ooooooh I'm going to be thinking about this for the next year

[@polija9898]

Yeah, hard to love someone who view you as a lesser being.

[@friggen_roylty4368]

@@polija9898 Yeah…tell me about it.

[@polija9898]

​@@friggen_roylty4368you have it in the video

[@shantellakaladypersephone8671]

​@@polija9898aint THAT the truth💯

[@Donutdealers]

Something that really urks me is Matt Rife saying something like not liking women with an outy vagaina because "it's like god left the tag on them" Which later turned out to describe the person he was seeing at the time It has stuck with me since I heard it I was honestly shocked when he said he has body dysmorphia To experience how debilitating it is to struggle with how your body looks Then to say that type of comment describing some else's body I just can't believe it I can't imagine how someone could rationalize that Thinking women are inhumane? Thinking their bodies belong to their partners? I just need to know how a group of men can gather in a room and talk about this shit in good conscience

[@cuculain78]

That's a really good point. He made those awful comments about women's bodies and then talks about his own body dysmorphia. How can he make those comments and then admit that he struggles with viewing his own genitalia as inadequate? He is ridiulculously lacking in insight and empathy. I didn't know that the comment about vaginas was specifically referring to his own partner. That's such a violation.

[@fluuufffffy1514]

What's an outie vagina? Is that another way of saying penis???

[@manderly33]

It’s honestly not that surprising. People often hate in others what they hate in themselves.

[@yoyoyoyo-lq4jb]

Yup, i remember seeing this and feeling gutted for the women and girls and other AFAB people who are already constantly told their genitalia is weird, or ugly, or disgusting. Straight men cannot shut up about how unattractive they find the vast majority of women's bodies.

[@DeadKraken]

@@cuculain78 He's lacking in all senses of the word then lmao

[@cowgomoo444]

there is a term amongst women - "pick me". if i understand correctly, a pick me is a girl that is constantly hanging around men to feel validation (on the level of feeling sexually attractive). this type of girl is reviled because she is prone to throwing other women under the bus (ranging from espousing misogynistic opinions to curry favor with the heterosexual men she surrounds herself with to the simple bullying and betrayal of other women she feels threatened by). in my opinion as a cisgendered heterosexual male, matt rife is the male equivalent of a pick me. he can feel it as well and it makes him feel insecure as a comedian ('i'm not funny i'm just hot' and similar thoughts probably come to his mind). another layer is in the fact that by and large, heterosexual cisgendered men believe that we are funnier than women. i think this largely comes from the state of modern dating. men believe they are funnier because not only do we make other men laugh, we make women laugh in order to sleep with them. it goes over our heads that when a woman giggles at our jokes in a bar, it may be thanks to the fact that she is trying to signal that she is attracted to us, not actually thanks to the shitty dad jokes we got off google while at the urinal five minutes prior. we are never around to hear women in a girls group making each other laugh until their sides hurt. so for most of us, we simply dont believe it to be possible lol (to be clear i dont believe this). this layer means that matt rife wont think hes funny unless he has a dedicated male audience. but he doesnt because we all see him for what he is: a pick me. tldr: matt rife is an unfunny pick me and he hates himself for it. that's just my take before i watch this video. another thing: his whole idea that all "male" humor is just to be offensive as possible shows how little he really understands about being funny. that domestic violence joke isn't terrible because we're all sensitive libtards or whatever. it's terrible because the punchline is just "cook well or get punched woman". dark humor is supposed to touch on the dark events that we see in this world and make us challenge our understanding of those things. not reinforce them. that "joke" was just lazy af.

[@daisybeck3099]

As a KPOP fan, I think its interesting to consider how much less threatening (in general) idols appear to be to women for being in touch with their femininity. Idols are made fun of by men for inherently appealing to what makes women feel safe, non brutal masculinity. Obviously there are exceptions to this, and idols aren't effeminate (although some choose to be), but their more typically "feminine" sides are what make them so easy to love.

[@cassiusdhami9215]

Your point of "constant distress" amongst men turned on a light bulb for me. I feel like that's why conflict in general is considered a "masculine" trait. This provides a physical way for the patriarchy to police and control behavior under the guise of "being a man". I'm an old, POC, SIS, hetro dude who is a big fan of your work regardless if our society see's your content as "for me". Thank you kindly! Please keep up the great and necessary work.

[@cassiusdhami9215]

Lol. Sorry, posted before I got to the part you explain exactly that. 😊

[@RenaissanceRockerBoy]

I think it also has something to do with how being raised as men shuts down any other emotions than anger/conflict etc, so ppl end up trying to solve their issues through conflict, which creates more conflict etc.

[@marigolden_mariposa]

when you wrote "SIS" did you mean "cis"? no judgement, just trying to help. and if that's not what you meant I apologize. ✌️

[@ana-nim]

​@@marigolden_mariposa yeah, I giggled at this part 😅 For some reason it added wholesomeness to his comment for me, bless his pure heart 🥺

[@B.Harper7]

@cassiusdhami9215 You incredible fcking human, you!!!! Typing 'Sis' is such a wholesome thing, I 100% appreciate you looking for content that isn't just a dude yelling at you. 💖💖💖✨️✨️✨️ I'm nobody to you, but I'm really proud of the work you have clearly done in life to take pause and think about things, rather than immediately jumping to being defensive. Please keep being the amazing person you are, and radiate your character to the people around you 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@GiaTheBird]

Was expecting a video all about Matt Rife, got a breakdown of how the patriarchy negatively impacts men. 10/10. loved it

[@alyssapinon9670]

For real. All the men complaining about how feminists don’t care about how patriarchy affects men need to watch it. Although I’m not sure if they’d have the self reflection to watch it without feeling attacked

[@B.Harper7]

@alyssapinon9670 the older I get, the more I realize that they truly do realize it's unfair, but they want to believe the lies their grandfather's told them. All the lies about not needing to be a good person, you just need a good job in order to deserve a slave at home, two and a half children, and a dog running around the picket fence. If they take the time to understand, personalize it, and apply it to their life, they have to realize that their family Heroes were horrific abusers to their grandmothers, aunts, mothers and such. They then have to take on the proper amount of work, because if they agree and show that they are intelligent enough to understand the implications, people will expect them to be better people, and that's hard for them. I understand it's hard, I certainly sympathize on life is hard, but I would never accept people in my life who lay their own issues and the laziness at the feet of someone they say they love, and pretend the patriarchy doesn't bend them over and say take it-- because they like the power they still have.

[@alyssapinon9670]

@@B.Harper7 exactly. In this book I was reading about Radical Joy, it debunks the myth that privileged people are more happy by virtue of being privileged. Privilege can certainly afford you things that reduce emotional distress. But overall, there is an unspoken social contract that in order to be privileged, you have to give up a certain degree of happiness. And even though happiness can be attained through giving up privilege, so many people would rather be miserable to hold onto their privilege. Long story short, I’m tired of privileged people (in this case men) complaining about how structures in place affect them without making any sacrifices to fix the problem.

[@faaaailure]

0:07 Why was I kinda expecting you to say "and I hate the way that his face disintegrates into chalk" 😞 /ref

[@Piccylo]

I made a joke to myself about this. The hypothetical response to "if so many transmen had NLOG/pick-me eras, shouldn't cismen have such eras?" is "Matt Rife". I laughed about this joke to myself for like a week until it dawned that it's really all the same misogyny at the end of the day, scrabbling for elite patriarchy seats that are arbitrarily limited.

[@ithinkiknowme6450]

Exactly.. they're grappling for the seats in a bus which will ultimately lead them to their own loneliness and destruction...

[@redvelvetunderground]

it's wild being a female fan of anything and having dudes casually tell you how impure and disingenuous your fandom of something is while also in the same breath trying to flirt with you

[@dozergames2395]

We can be very complicated and yet simplistic creatures 😂😂

[@youtubesupportsfascism]

@@dozergames2395 So you choose to harass women? Weird creatures is more like it.

[@violetvictoria7248]

@@dozergames2395 Who's we?

[@7Mushrooms7]

It reminds me how even the authors of series like Scherlock hated that their main fanbase were women and not (intellectual) men in their 20s and 30s and were big mad going even to extent of being outright nasty towards their fandom lmao

[@dozergames2395]

@@violetvictoria7248 im talking about young men (my friend group in particular)

[@Eve.v]

shout out to the folks also in the "user specified" category of shanspeare's subscriber base! we out here, specifying

[@Shanspeare]

😂🤍🤍🤍

[@apathybronson]

Specifically

[@indarknesswedwell9193]

We are specific speciments. 🖖👽

[@asuka_the_void_witch]

that reminds me i need to check my gender on youtube because i dont identify as nonbinary anymore!

[@emersonmcdaniel2023]

We are out here, and we are specifically specifying

[@normal6483]

A lot of the toxicity of the patriarchy manifests in homophobia and transphobia, so as an nb gay man I've had to grapple with the weirdness of male gender roles all my life, ever since I was a little boy with a face so feminine it looked I was wearing make-up. I had a conversation with a friend recently about masculinity that she said was really eye opening, and I'll see if I can't transcribe the important parts here: The main theme was that, while patriarchy views women as prizes with value, men are viewed as tools with use. A woman needs to stay desirable, valuable, and achievable in order to keep her womanhood, and women who fail at these values are considered unlovable. But a man needs to stay useful, competent, and effective in order to keep his masculinity, and men who fail at these values are considered worthless. But there's also an inverse to this; because competence is in the realm of masculinity, women are seen as inherently incompetent, and any women who go against this worldview by being masculine, competent, or exerting their agency are more than simply unlovable, they are conceived of as a stolen or misplaced prize that needs to be stolen back, and so must be dominated in order to be retaken back into normativity. And because love is in the realm of femininity, men are seen as inherently unlovable, and any man who goes against this worldview by being feminine, desirable, or affectionate is more than simply worthless, they are conceived of as a dangerous or misused weapon that needs to be destroyed before it gets someone hurt. This dichotomy is why often sexual violence tends to be wielded against people perceived as women, while physical violence tends to be wielded against people perceived as men. (Obviously not exclusively, but it's a very notable trend if you look at how crime, homophobia, and transphobia tend to break down.) One of the things I've always been frustrated by is that a lot of "toxic male behavior" isn't really done out of genuine belief, but to avoid punishment. "No homo" used to be every straight man's favorite phrase, and he said it any time he was kind or affectionate to another man to avoid having his sexuality questioned and interrogated. If I'd never been in the closet I'd think this was out of malice, but I've walked in straight men's shoes and I can tell you that it's 100% self-preservation. To be seen as gay was often a literal death sentence back in those days, and there was a wave of suicides by boys who had rumors spread about their sexuality at school; some of them were gay and some weren't, it came for them both. There was also gay bashing, vandalization of people's homes, it was rough all around. And the things that would get you labeled "gay" had almost 0% to do with actual homosexuality. It was the pitch of your voice, the limp of your wrist, how much you cared about grooming, how attractive you were to women, (literally every boy band and male pop idol got hit with *that* one,) how softspoken you were, and how affectionate you were with your friends. If you were close at all to the concept of "femininity," including it's sub-categories like love, affection, or desirability, then you were considered gay. Or a sissy. Or a tranny. Or just a general deviant. and being a deviant meant you were dangerous and needed to be put down, because that made you a danger to the people around you. A man is a tool after all, a weapon, and a weapon that doesn't work right is going to get someone hurt! And because of the weird logic that men are unlovable while women are valuable, it meant that gay men were often conceived of as a danger... to women. The fear was always that a gay man was a deviant who was going to come after our little girls, despite being definitionally uninterested in girls as a whole, because they weren't *actually* talking about gay men when they fearmongered about us. They were talking about the platonic idea of a deviant, a dangerous stranger who serves no purpose but is a dangerous to everyone around, and who is after the most valuable and vulnerable piece of society - its women. Even today this narrative persists, and while it still targets gay men it mostly targets trans women now, who are the new ideal of a useless and dangerous "man" looking to infiltrate feminine society. Because of all of this, men have an aversion to love and affection. Men don't want to show love, because that can get us killed. But we can't try too hard to be loved, or we'll still get killed. In a man's eyes, he is innately unlovable, and any attempt to change that is a delusion that will only get him hurt. When a man is told "just love yourself, because you are lovable" that man is very likely to think "don't lie to me" in response. A man, especially an oppressed man such as a Black or gay man, additionally has to contend with the fact that he is viewed as a dangerous weapon, a loaded gun even, to everyone around him, and he either needs to suppress himself for the comfort of others or embrace the perception of himself as a danger and live with the discomfort he brings. And a man has to be useful; whether that's intelligence, protection, or income he has to have something of value that others can reap from him. In video games, the hero is often a competent man who mows down weaker men to receive the love of women as a prize. Because the hero (and the player) is competent, he can finally have love. Because the woman is desirable, her love is a valuable prize. And because the enemy men are weaklings, their loss isn't worth thinking about, because it's not like anyone cares about them.

[@bigplanslittledrive4791]

TLDR: if you so wish could you explain how a self professed gay man is non binary. The definitions of gay and man means binary has entered the conversation. Just asking

[@normal6483]

@@bigplanslittledrive4791 Basically I'm one of those people with He/They pronouns. Nonbinary doesn't just mean "third gender" it means "having a relationship to gender that's outside of the binary of pure male and pure female" For me that means I'm a demiboy, "part boy" in other words. But in my case the other part isn't "girl" it's "agender." There's a lot of reasons I choose to identify that way. My culture's gender roles are different from mainstream western ones, so normal guy behavior to me often leaves me feeling alienated compared to other guys. Because of that, as well as my face and sexuality, I've often been misgendered as a girl throughout my life, sometimes maliciously and other times genuinely. I even once had a stranger go up to my friend to pass along a compliment that I was "passing" as a man really well, because she thought I was a post-op trans man. When enough of that stuff happens to you, eventually you start rethinking gender and your place in it. My idea of a guy and the western idea of a guy sometimes overlap but often come into conflict, in a way that I can feel deep down in my bones. Other terms that technically describe my experience with gender are "genderqueer" and potentially "cis nonbinary." The nonbinary umbrella is really large and has a lot of different identities under it, so I honestly don't know where I fit. But I don't fully feel comfortable calling myself a man, and I feel like I'm only partially a guy, and the world around me seems to agree in practice, so I use the the umbrella term "nonbinary" to describe that.

[@friggen_roylty4368]

One side made the rules, the other enforced it. It caused everyone to get hurt in the process.

[@Mr.Waterhouse]

Cis nonbinary and non binary gay man make absolutely no sense. It’s an extremely reductive view of gender and identity. Nonbinary is inherently sexist in trying to suggest there is only one way to be a man or a woman. You might be an effeminate male, but that doesn’t change the fact you are a male.

[@hollystop]

You’re spitting so many facts ❤

[@aimamalik5126]

Matt is a pick me girlie

[@veronikakosir5751]

Fr, it's very fascinating how similar the behavior is down to the aggressive, desperate asserting that he's one of the guys.

[@DorksidertheGreat]

My granddad was traditional but when my mom yook me and my sister and needed a place to stay he took that father role and ran with it. When we went to see the first jurassic park movie I was like 5 and he pretended to be scared so I wouldnt feel embarrassed of feel alone. And when I patted his hand and said "Its ok, its just a movie" he just laughed it off. He took me in my little frilly dresses and would have me under a car with him bangin away at it with a squeaky hammer. I'd put on my grandmas lipstick and go learn how to mow the lawn. He grew up in a poor family of alcoholics who had to hunt for weeds and rabbits to eat. He had to fight and "be a man" all his life so when he got married and had kids and then grandkids he chose love, compassion and acceptance. These where the trates that made him so beloved. His ability to sit in one place for 30 minutes and make every person hes met days better. Race never mattered, sexuality never mattered because growing up it was often the het white people who treated him like a dog all because "he grew up on the wrong side of the tracks". He taught me that yes a man can be these "traditional manly" roles, but they dont have to be. The do have to be good people who value people for peoples sake.

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

Lovely testimonial, I'm happy he managed to instaur the change that made his grandbabies get a nice happy memories 🥺❤️

[@plushdragonteddy]

this is so sweet 😭🥹💖

[@bluejane6358]

That's awesome, he sounds like such a great guy to have known! Thank you for sharing!

[@johnsmith8981]

I see guys getting frustrated by the downsides of being a man but then when a woman says they want men and women to be equal they think "then she should have the downsides too." They got so close to seeing the point; why is there a toxic downside to being a man? Why do you want women to have to experience it instead of working to remove those downsides for both men and women?"

[@vampiredinosaur]

Yes!! I hate this attitude so much in all of the ways it manifests. I can’t help but think about the people who paid off their student loads not wanting others to get their loans forgiven. Like I suffered so everyone else must suffer too? I hate it, and I hate that it’s a type of attitude that’s praised and put on a platform.

[@MA-gu2up]

Those downsides are seen as responsibility, and authority shouldn't come without responsibility or something like that

[@terry9238]

🎯

[@seanathanseastar]

Yeah, as a guy, those kinds of guys get on my nerves. Like, dude, why do you want anyone to have to deal with that? Are you an idiot? I think we should be allowed to be who we are without the overbearing expectations of patriarchy. Why do we cling so hard to a system which encourages men to bury their feelings and hide parts of themselves, and which treats women as subhumans that men should never be associated with in any way outside of having sex with them? It's a system that hurts both men and women, but it especially hurts women, which may be why these kinds of men put up with the negative shit it contributes to their own lives. I don't know exactly where the quote comes from, but "When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression." feels like the answer to why certain kinds of men say shit like that. Well, that and the fact that they don't ever look critically at their deeply ingrained misogynistic beliefs.

[@vit968]

Yeah its like "Equal rights? Than equal fights!" or "Draft women too! Equal rights amirite?" Like none of them ever think "Nobody should hit anybody" or "Nobody should be drafted"

[@onion_enjoyer]

This is one of the most thorough and well researched discussions of how the patriarchy affects men that ive ever seen so much so that i forgot it was a video abt matt rife and when u brought him up again after the "patriarchy and you" section i was like 😮

[@patrycjawolanin598]

As a person whose been following him wayyy before his special, this whole thing has been so sad to see. I genuinely liked his wit, quick comebacks and ability laugh at potentially offensive topics. The closer it got to his special, the worse his jokes and overall demeanor got. I stopped watching him by that, because just listening to him made me uncomfortable. It's just sad to wittness - he could have so much, but in the end, he couldn't escape own insecurities.

[@sarani8524]

The patriarchy is the real matrix that men should try to escape from

[@user-yp6yr9te7l]

There is no such thing as the patriarchy in 2024.

[@LGrian]

@@user-yp6yr9te7loh honey

[@moimoi-dl2st]

​@@user-yp6yr9te7l you didn't watch a single second of this did ya?

[@holosniffer7569]

Nuh uh

[@user-yp6yr9te7l]

@@moimoi-dl2st Why, does this have a valid point in there somewhere? There is no patriarchy. There is no matrix. Neither exist in reality. People need to stop indulging in buzzwords that do not actually describe anything extant in the real world.

[@amielwayne]

Absolute galaxy brain take that Matt Rife & others don't want hordes of female fans who like them "for the wrong reasons" (i.e., attraction) because men don't like feeling objectified; because men are supposed to be *doing* the objectifying. And they want to be appreciated for their personalities. The irony is super thick! 🤯 (But also, this is like feminism 101 😅) This was great - thank you!

[@B.Harper7]

@amielwayne the call had been coming from inside the house with patriarchy since forever. Why TF do men keep running up the staircase instead of out the front door!?!?!?! (So to speak) It's fcking exhausting, like bro, you are ruining everything for EVERYONE, rather than spending the effort to be a fully formed human............

[@amielwayne]

@@B.Harper7 for real. IMHO, it has something to do with the zero sum framing of it all. Like, finding solidarity with women against the Patriarchy would mean admitting feminists were *right,* and feminists are "just angry man haters" right? 🙄People just need to read some bell hooks and wake up. There's also the power of what queer theorist Lauren Berlant called "cruel optimism," which occurs when we get attached to the things we *know* are hurting us, and stick around anyway. Like in a toxic relationship 🤮

[@abbieclement]

Exactly this. He hated feeling objectified and the thought of not being taken seriously as a professional. Funny that.

[@hearteu5260]

That and he's definitely gay, just hearing him talk about men is like just come outta that closet!- Dammit!!

[@spockezri]

really interesting!! i'm a trans man and a therapist, and cis male clients are always the ones to think i'm their friend, to try to get my personal phone, to get hurt if i don't treat them like a bestie. i'm one of the only men they ever talked to about emotions in their life and they see that as so intimate that we HAVE to be friends. it's pretty sad honestly

[@violetvictoria7248]

That's their fault. I been trying to help them but the only reason they even speak to me was for sex and then i give up. It like talking to a child, please i got better shit to do.

[@char1211]

Ooo interesting! I'm a cis woman and while I do feel like it was easier to have a friendly yet professional relationship with the male therapists I've had, I went to therapy between the ages of 14-21 so most of my therapists have felt like authority figures rather than peers simply because of the age gap.

[@spockezri]

@@char1211 ah yeah i went for lots of years too when i was younger!! and im going back now lol....my clients have all been older than me for the most part though which is wild lol

[@kkjkjjjj2525]

whats a cis male

[@spockezri]

@@kkjkjjjj2525 it means a man who's "assigned male at birth" which means he has (not sure if youtube censors names of genitalia) the external genitals that start with a p and a t. a trans man is the opposite, a man who's "assigned female at birth" meaning the internal genitalia that start with a v

[@Fredrick_Turner]

I want to sincerely thank you for not saying "All men are bad because all men are the patriarchy" instead saying "Some men are bad because of the patriarchy" Honestly it hurts when people don't clarify that, good job!

[@elleliteracy]

the chapter title being "matt rife, so confusing" lmaooooooo

[@sleepingpotato942]

you're so julia!

[@karak962]

ELLELITERACY X SHANSPEARE CROSSOVER WHEN

[@milkteamachine]

It’s so interesting to me how much contempt straight men in particular seem to have for women. I love making art that appeals to women, they’re enthusiastic about the things they enjoy in a way that I haven’t experienced from men.

[@Lovefortea448]

Yeah this emphasis on gender would never be something I get. If people like your work, I don't see why you shouldn't be happy about people liking your work.

[@derekjordangregg7468]

The gender wars are ongoing. The contempt is on both sides. And it’s just one of many wars. Assuming every single member of a gender acts a certain way or thinks a certain way is definitely not helping.

[@thatrantinggirl7376]

@@derekjordangregg7468idk, people always try to ‘both-sides’ sexism but it feels disingenuous to treat it like it exists in a vacuum. Men owned women for thousands of years and they still do in a lot of places, what kinda war is that?

[@holosniffer7569]

​@@thatrantinggirl7376 Yeah because Women always lost. Night makes right after all

[@henriettebopda5895]

Every artist has a target audience, he wants a male audience, if a woman wants a female audience it's not a problem

[@RhiannonSenpai]

You censoring your feet is so funny 😂. There are some weirdo feet lovers out there.

[@The_C_]

it is truly time that we address men as victims of the patriarchy. it's been discussed in history class when discussing war a lot, but never dissembled like you've done in this video. Women, in the past years, have been greatly liberated while men have gotten nothing, leading them into a spiral of being rejected by women (the object they've been taught to vent their anger on) more often, which leads them down radical rabbit holes, which creates more anger in them, which leads them to be rejected by women, the cycle continues. Ive watched many, many teachers and associated diminish men when they've said "well, men are burdened by a lot of societal expectation too" in conversations about patriarchal standards and didn't speak up because it seemed like just them trying to insert themselves into another conversation about women like always with their less grave problems. Thanks to this video i see that men's problems are (under this regime) everybody's problems and that we should now also lend them a hand. Well, apart from the fact that everybody deserves to be enlightened and comfortable with their true self and to be a good person, fit to live in a society where we all have equal potential and chances. Let's find a way why don't we!

[@AVERAGEHUMAN-se5gx]

WAKE UP! SHANSPEARE POSTED!

[@jospinner1183]

It's a good day when we get a fresh Shan vid!

[@Roseforthethorns]

Legit shared the link to a friend saying almost the same thing

[@grandsome1]

I AM AWAKE

[@TheNewblade1]

I need u to stop sleeping between the hours of 12-3pm and or 5-9pm depending on time zone. It can't be healthy.

[@AVERAGEHUMAN-se5gx]

@@TheNewblade1 Im not sleeping during those hours haha, its a phrase like “YA’LL! SHANS JUST POSTED!” lol

[@aila8286]

he looks like a randomized episode character

[@jebbyrat]

this might be the funniest description of a person I've ever heard

[@BigMoney398]

This is too accurate 😂😂

[@deph1niumz80]

Do not ever let the numbers dictate how you feel about your work; you are one of, if not the best creator, on this platform. There genuinely does not exist more thought provoking content that was created all by one person. It’s truly amazing. Please don’t stop doing what you do.

[@emelinejusten2618]

i dieeeed at "Matt Rife, So Confusing"

[@K.C-2049]

I read something the other day that really stuck in my brain, that suggested that our current conception of masculinity is obsessed with making men better workers and soldiers, and really gained traction during the mid 1800s/early 1900s. these gender norms and their enforcement coincided with the rise of the ownership class and Gilded Age, the dissolution of slavery and the necessity of a disposable workforce, the rise of mechanized work and dangerous working conditions, and the absolute meat grinder of the Civil War and then WW1. the patriarchy grants men privilege if they perform their roles and fulfill their use value "properly", but it loathes individual men and is obsessed with dehumanizing them.

[@cuculain78]

Wow! That's such an interesting point. It makes so much sense.

[@lexa2310]

But what about performative manliness in times before that? This makes it sound like its a new phenomenon when it very much seems to exist in medieval times and roman times as well....

[@K.C-2049]

@@lexa2310 yes, I think masculinity has always been built to some extent or another by various societies with various agendas, however I think the idea that it accelerated with increasing wealth disparity and mechanization is really valid. I mean this isn't my idea, I was just reading about it and it seemed to click so you'd have to do your own research on notions masculinity and ideals of chivalry in the dark ages, Stoicism for the Greeks etc. etc.

[@DeadKraken]

@@lexa2310 OP addressed the modern version of masculinity, what you're asking about are completely different versions based on completely different cultural values. Let's take the romans for example: most societies are patriarchal, and this one made no exception, BUT the rules to "perform" masculinity in roman times were much different. For example roman society saw bisexuality as the norm, but there was a rigid hierarchy on who could perform certain roles in same sex relations amongst men(no rules for women), because top and bottom had strong dominant\submissive tones, and since "bottom services" were seen as slave and low life's job, roman citizens were morally obliged to perform as top and shunned otherwise. Another thing is body hair and genitals, for example in certain ages of the roman empire body hair on men and women was seen as "barbaric" so both shaved, and being well endowed was considered "uncultured" and "beast-like", so all artistic depictions of deities and noble men, were represented with micro-genitals. So in the imperial era, a man could be gay or bisexual, have a brazilian shave and a small d1ck, and be considered peak masculinity. All those things are shunned and considered feminine ad unworthy of respect in the modern conception of masculinity, that's how different society is.

[@lexa2310]

@@DeadKraken Men get shamed for shaving? And it does seem like gay men who like receiving are treated way worse still anyway.

[@darielgibson8623]

someone else in the comments said "its crazy how men get insecure about having a female fanbase when one of the most successful artists of all time, taylor swift, is built on the backs of feminine fans" but its not just taylor swift any celebrity that appeals mainly to women experiences an EXCESS of fame, timothy chalamet, harry styles, most eastern idols (we usually think kpop groups but not only them). a lot of these people fame is because their fan bases are 95 % female and on the non girls that are there therye only encouraged by the presence of the women. past artists like the beatles, elvis, and frank sinatra also had mainly femail fan bases for most of their time in the spot light its only later that they because "the classics" "or univerrsally good" or even available to men at all byt cause they were boybands / heart throbs they were the one direction justin bieber and gagas of their own times and thats how they were able to get as famous as they were. only once the hype died were men even able to acknowledge that the beetles were good at all because it was "girl music" and that automatically disqualified them from being seen as legitimate artists at all. but they didn't get all huffy about it like mat rife does mostly becuase it made them rich as hell, and the reason they were able to reach the peaks of stardom and stay there so long was 100% due to their female fanbase. women and girls arent afraid to have interests theyll buy every album thell all their firends about you and spread the merch all over their rooms and wear it out of the street loud and proud, nen on the other hand would rather die that be caught with a personality they'd sooner never listen to music again before they get mad fun of for liking any sort of music so they wont spend as much money or show up as loud and proud as girls IF they even show up at all. men will put their reputation over their interests / hobbies so they dont push their favs as far as a girl would their dollar dont go as far because they dont want to be seen spending them. this is partially why male dominated scenes are so gatekeep-y theres onyl some thing a man can opening like without haveing to check if its "gay " or "girly" first and the push women out of these spaces because if the one thing you like has women in it you arent allowed to like it any more. Comedy is one of those "safe" things for men as you said at the begining of the video comedy clubs are dude bro hang outs, not becuase women dont like to laugh, but because they don tlike to be laughed at. and the best way to keep women out and seem as manly as possible is to make sexist racist homophobic jokes etc they dont even have to be good other men will laugh cause they dont wanna be soft / sensitive and also because again they dont feel like theyre freely allowed to be in many other spaces. so yeah this is a probelm cause by men for men and somehow other people still get the worst of it

[@darielgibson8623]

shan ended up saying a lot of this in the vid with evidence and images so that nice :)

[@holosniffer7569]

All of that is just trash lil sis, Stay out of our spaces like we do yours

[@NamasteInYourLane]

You broke that down so well.

[@Starfuzzii]

@@holosniffer7569 The only reason you stay out of women's spaces is at your own need for male validation. Women stay in their spaces typically for safety (in ideology and literally) and sense of community, while men do to continue a cruel circle-jerk of hating on a gender because...? Men feel so threatened by something they swear up and down is the weaker sex. If women aren't a threat to you, why the vitriol? You're literally in a space catered to women all up in these comments like nobodies business so why would women take the words of a hypocrite.

[@adaezez8378]

@@holosniffer7569anime profile, you hold no opinions of value💕

[@r.coburn3344]

He looks like a Big Mouth character

[@KIEFLOAF]

so does she tho imo (Easy to Draw) no shade lolol

[@jenm1]

Most men are deeply unfunny. It’s not because we’re offended. It’s just cheap and not good

[@B.Harper7]

💯 Yup, everyone gets the joke, it's simply not funny. No, it's not because people hate men?? The jokes aren't funny. Nope, it's not woke, it's not a "cancelling", it's sincerely not funny most of the time. Do they not see the hundreds of male comics with mixed demographics? People are dying laughing!!! They just want to pretend that people don't understand so they don't have bruised egos.

[@violetvictoria7248]

No jokes are meant to be offensive, being disrespected and taking it is very pathetic little bxtxh thing to do. No one should be dehumanized and smile afterwards, especially a women who's already smaller then men and mistreated with little rights. That's lame.

[@yeahyeahwowman8099]

Are you familiar with planet earth, most people are not funny because it's a skill you don't have to work on to get through life. Familiar styles and regurgitating the same jokes, most people don't understand the basic fundamentals of comedy.

[@strangeman9362]

Men are actually more funny compared to women

[@jenm1]

@@yeahyeahwowman8099 When I say most men are deeply unfunny, I'm talking about a subset of humanity. Yes, most people are not funny. What makes people funny is relating to their audience. The funniest people I know are random family or strangers irrespective of gender who understand the social circumstances and can crack a joke about it.

[@abbywolffe4114]

I watched his first big special, Matthew Steven Rife, back before he blew up on Netflix and Tiktok, and in hindsight it's really sad to see how far he's spiraled into the patriarchy. At the end of that special he talks about the impact his late grandfather Steven had on his love of stand-up, and gets choked up on stage as he thanks his grandfather for inspiring him (there's also some cheap sex jokes in there because it's Matt Rife). And it drives me crazy because that's what healthy masculinity looks like! He was allowed to thrive and succeed because he was supported and loved by a father figure, and openly expresses his gratitude for it. And then a couple years later and he's waxing poetic about how only guys could possibly understand jokes about cars and football, and I think it's because he craves that same love and support from other men and doesn't feel like he's getting it. Like dude, stop hating women just because the men in your life don't love you.

[@thefluffywaffle8388]

It is so sad to see that before he actually had good real material, but insecurity to be respected by other men, even the wrong kind of men, got to his head so badly.

[@JennaEmbers]

Thank you for responding with empathy. As a woman it is difficult sometimes to not be resentful and angry, but I feel so deeply that unless we see that men are victims of the patriarchy as well, we won’t progress or be able to work together to abolish it.

[@xXAcidBathXx]

Agreed.

[@midsized-sedan8142]

This 😔 we can't disable the patriarchy by continuing the hatred against and poor treatment of either gender

[@ellegmye]

Id rather just leave them alone as much as possible. Im not interested in putting any energy towards loving or hating them. I just want to stay far away and let them deal with their issues themselves.

[@kajamatousek247]

Why is it always the job of the oppressed to fix their oppressors ?

[@Dra3000]

Very true

[@ezrab5103]

I was (secretly) a huge, huge fan of 5sos as a gay teenage boy. I remember Ashton saying that piece about fangirls and being very upset by it. Because I knew what he meant-he doesn’t want people to like them for their looks. And of course, I enjoyed their music but I liked them first for their looks. It’s natural for a teenager. And teenage girls are incredible fans to have-outspoken, unashamed of their interests, supportive. They were my friends, they were the only people who I could talk to about my more “effeminate” interests without feeling judged or “not manly.” But bands like 5sos felt threatened by the mere idea of being liked for more than just the music, when straight men are allowed to like women “just” because they’re hot (in fact that might be the only “valid” way the patriarchy allows them to support women) and it’s seen as natural, not juvenile or strange. Idk, just a rant. That little part in the video uncovered old memories. This is an excellent video, as always. Men are victims of the patriarchy as well, and while toxic and terrible men don’t necessarily deserve empathy it’s important to see the root of their behavior. Men are the enforcers of other men, and they make themselves less happy, less open, and less free. It’s depressing. Men like 5sos at the time were beloved and famous but the inherent threat to masculinity of having “female fans” did not allow them to enjoy the prime of their careers.

[@andreacanova4098]

I adore this content. Everything about it is amazing, but the final twist, that I didn’t expect really skyrocketed it for me. Love you from Italy

[@iangondzaldo]

I'm a trans guy but since people precieved me as a girl for most of my life i think i can speak about this a bit. I'm a huge fan of Danny Gonzalez and before i came out to my family a lot of my family members (especially my aunt tho) were implying i ONLY like him because i find him attractive (i never admitted that to them, atleast not until coming out).. like it's really ASSUMED girls only like something because they find them hot. Obviously that isn't the reason I'm a huge fan of him but i definitely do think he is pretty. My classmates in middle school who percieved me as a girl also thought i only liked him because i found him hot even tho i was always too scared to talk about my attraction to anyone. When i got to high school and people there saw me as male they NEVER assumed i liked him because of his looks knowing I'm a gay man. It's weird 🤷‍♂️

[@allyli1718]

This is super funny to me because usually people like others because they remind them of themself. Like a huge problem with the industry is that men only watch male centered content and white people only watch white centered content, while minorities are used to watching outside their marginalized identity, leading to media execs catering to white male demographics. Because marginalized people will still watch the stuff catered for white guys, but not vice versa. It’s like they’re thinking “I wouldn’t watch a female comedian unless she was hot” and assuming girls do the same for male comedians. Which again, not true bc it makes zero sense. If comedy is a man’s world, of course the female fans are bound to enjoy male comedians because there are less famous female comedians (and less female centered media in general) lol I remember that when Danny was starting out there were little female react commentary channels like him, but thankfully nowadays we got more creators like Chadchad for instance Although in Matt Rife’s case, he just legitimately thinks women can’t enjoy edgey humor. Chauvinist lol

[@RhythmsCompany.2]

Boy, Danny Gonzalez is such a golden piece of person. Didn't think I'd find a Greg in here. Kuddos to you just because I too get scared when admitting attraction. Even in my head, lol.

[@iangondzaldo]

@@allyli1718 yeah i was also cought in this at the start since i am white myself but in the past year or so i really expanded who i watch on youtube and it's really nice!! diversity is amazing and i wish more people were less in their own little bubble

[@iangondzaldo]

@@RhythmsCompany.2 it took me so long to be comfortable saying anyone is pretty to anyone.. even now there's only about 2 people i feel 100% comfortable pointing out anyone i find attractive because usually people insult the people i find beautiful which really sucks. but ever since i got mpre comfortable admitting to people (especially my family) that i do find danny pretty it has been easier haha :)

[@jasonhaven7170]

He's just white.

[@raconteur_riffraff]

every time i see this guy the only thing i can ever think is "why do you want a male audience so mad? you wanna be noticed by other men? 🤨🤨 why? so they can compliment and praise your work? suspicious"

[@B.Harper7]

A friend of mine who was raised in a conservative Southern family has a whole theory on Matt Rife is gay, and this is the only way that he can come out to a male audience, and still have them as fans. We relentlessly teased him about it, until the big bomb show where he did exactly what our friend said was going to happen 😳😳😳😳😳 I'm now starting to look at him in a completely different way and I think my friend is right. I will be absolutely shocked if he doesn't come out as bi or gay in the next 5 years. Talk about way to eff yourself over......

[@malauradona]

Men wanting male validation ≠ being gay. They are socialized to want male validation. Y’all gotta stop with this “misogynistic men are gay” bs.

[@g.j.9515]

he graduated the Ancient Greek School of being so misogynist that youre homosexual

[@MA-gu2up]

​@@B.Harper7 Really? Because he supports patriarchy? Heterosexual men support it much more than homosexual men. Patriarchy doesn't support gayness and that is well-known, but it supports friendships between men, so that is a more likely thing.

[@patrickmoore4867]

matt riffle or whatever is an insecure sexist, but sexually pathologizing how men need attention and social affection from other men is weird and homophobic. he feels disconnected from his identity because patriarchy brainwashed him into thinking gender is fluid and stagnant; your comment makes the same false assumption. dudes can want attention and social praise from other men without wanting to fuck other men. read "On Love" by bell hooks. She describes what I'm talking about better than I can in her chapter on male identity and love.

[@asdfdnll]

the thumbnail is kinda scary ngl😔

[@kunilsen2519]

I will never forget being a little girl confused over why the boys in my class were pretending to shoot each other and talking about war like it was the coolest thing. And then as a teen when my youngest brother suddenly pretended to shoot me. I played along with my brother 10 years younger than me, and we had fun. But it always baffled me why violence was such a cool thing to boys. I can understand some, in movies and games I can find a fighting move badass. But talking about war and shooting people with such awe... Even as a young girl I understood something was wrong with that.

[@alexpasquale8870]

Proud male minority demographic Shanspeare fan

[@B.Harper7]

@alexpasquale8870 Get it babydoll!!! Drink your water, take at least B and D vitamins, get 15 mins of sun AT LEAST twice a week, and shower if you haven't today! You'll feel better! I'm proud of you for working on yourself, instead of wanting the lie of "the amazing 1950s" to come to fruition. Be safe out there, have fun, and make good decisions!!!! 💖💖

[@GreysonVall]

You're a 🐶

[@derek96720]

I mean, men were the majority of people who either attended or acted in Shakespeare plays, but yes it's totally fringe . . .

[@hektorsehmsdorf1336]

​@@derek96720someone can't read

[@muaowa]

@@derek96720 not shakespeare, shanspeare. In case the comment before me wasn't enough

[@wellersonoliveira5334]

Its strange, bro has all the atributes of a good lookin' guy. But always come of as weird. Can't explain, like some aliens made a human in a lab using a Big Mouth cartoon character as a template

[@apathybronson]

He looks like if a finger became a person somehow

[@psychedelicpegasus7587]

​@@apathybronson "Stop! Stop! He's already dead!". 😭😂😂😂

[@BennyJulius-mu7in]

He doesn't deserve to be called bro. Bro is a state of being. He's a douche

[@JasonAtlas]

It's the lips. I don't know what it is about them.

[@mitcharendt2253]

​@JasonAtlas they look like wax lips glued on?

[@efferz8563]

This was so well worded. You were able to state so many well thought out points that I’ve been trying to put into words for so long now. Thank you for this!

[@jonasdowner]

omg, the pixellated foot censorship made me laugh so hard

[@xxivletxx]

As a trans man, many of my fellow trans brothers' letters that were featured in this video hit close to home. The pressure to make up for being AFAB by becoming very stereotypically masculine is very overwhelming at times; it really isn't who I am, but if I don't act the part, then I get clocked as trans in a conservative town. It hurts the most when I see my fellow trans men try to desperately seek cis validation by putting down trans people who "don't pass" and abiding by both patriarchal and truscum standards. The patriarchy will never save trans men either.

[@patrickmoore4867]

hey im nonbinary but pass as a cis dude at work (teacher). i also do not fit into the traditional masculine box and for every time i have to compromise and play the dude bro role, i reflect, critically connect the moment to powers over me, and let the moment pass. you are doing your best but our society requires spiritual and social compromise from any non-cis person constantly. you are you, not a man, but a person who happens to be a man. i hope you do not forget that. whatever makes you you is far more valuable then the assumptions people make and the role we (masculine people) have to play for society.

[@thedevicebook]

I remember video essayist verilybitchie talking about in the bisexuality community, there is this pressure to say biphobic things to avoid being outed as bisexual & it's much the same. And since the bigotry can come from people within the gay/lesbian community as well as straight, it's hard to feel out the community. Heck, I'm under the Bi+ umbrella (I am pansexual) & still took a while to find Bi groups that didn't hate on pan people. Thankfully I did find one eventually!

[@xxivletxx]

@@patrickmoore4867 Thank you very much. I hope there comes a day for the both of us that we can be open about who we are without any fear of danger.

[@Jadealanee]

It’s so horrifyingly cliché that as soon as he considers that the female audience he has might find him attractive, he invalidates them. He absolutely wants to be a misogynist comedian. With all of his heart.😂😢

[@henriettebopda5895]

Or maybe he wants men To praise his work and not his looks?

[@xejelah]

@@henriettebopda5895 THen he could stop posing topless because literally no other comedian does that unless he's overweight and it's a bit for the sake of comedy. Matt isn't going for comedy - he went for sex appeal. He went out of his way to appeal to a female audience and made a lot of his earlier work about family and how much he loved his grandfather. Once he got a Netflix special, he flipped.

[@dreamsicle3113]

​@@xejelahyou're so right. He knew what he was doing and once his female audience got him to relevancy he tossed them for "not liking him for the right reasons."

[@Jadealanee]

@@henriettebopda5895 no… he wants men to praise his looks lol If you look at all his ad campaigns and marketing side-by-side and couple that knowing that he claims women aren’t liking him for the right reasons it’s a pretty bizarre picture.

[@henriettebopda5895]

@@xejelah you basically saying women like him for the wrong reasons right? At least men would praise his work.. Him posing topless doesn't mean he wants women To come To his shows just for that..please be honest, if a hypersexy woman wanted To be taken seriously for Her craft would you tell Her To stop being sexy?

[@PERSEUS-NIOR]

finally someone talks about it, as a male I must press on that if a man treats a woman like garbage talks about women withought dignity and respect....he is no man in my eye

[@noPotatoesAtAll]

while i agree with the principle of your statement, i dont thinkk perpetuating the idea that your actions can make you more or less of a man is ognna do any good. i think better phrasing mightve been something more like "he's not a man i'm going to listen to," or "he won't be getting my respect."

[@PERSEUS-NIOR]

@@noPotatoesAtAll I agree with you, even I dont like saying stuff like youre no man if you do this or say that, what I simply was trying to point out is that some men define their manliness by abusing women by disrespecting women making fun of women seeing them as objects etc

[@micagerth2376]

SIS ATE AND LEFT ZERO CRUMBS GOD DAMNNNN

[@roxyamused]

I'm a transfem and have always been read as feminine. The patriarchy kept me from my own gender identity, and because of my insecurity as being a queer transfem in a xillennial age that erased those identities in "She Was a HE!!!" episodes of Maury and "not that there's anything wrong with that" markings that do actually indicate that "there's something wrong", with Mystery the PUA instructing me on VH1 into trying my best to be a misogynist participating in rape culture. I take responsibility for my actions, and I also see how unbelievably damaging patriarchy is because of it. It pains me to see children, teenagers, young men all participate just as we did 20 years ago. I still cannot square my shame with identity. It is endless work. I can only hope that the cycles break before other's ignorant of themselves hurt others.

[@susannairisastarte5192]

It's much, much older than that. Goes back for centuries. Just the same tired song on repeat. 😢

[@wonpilspiano]

What’s funny is him saying that men have pure intentions. My straight boyfriend was appalled that I could ever hate matt rife. His argument was, “How can you hate him? I love that dude. If he was a woman I would have such a crush on him!” In all seriousness. I was disappointed and told him nothing is stopping him lol

[@youtubesupportsfascism]

Lol choosing from the bargain bin I see

[@violetvictoria7248]

Leave him, he is getting both the world, being an ass hole and sexist and being loved. Girl..

[@withyoctopus]

Is that still your boyfriend now?

[@emiliap8790]

Please tell me you dumped him

[@horizonkyun7203]

these reddit ass replies

[@moonbasket]

Hello, male subscriber here. Keep up the good work! I thought I didn't know who this guy was and then the more you talked i remembered hearing about him and his questionable PR comedy decisions. Yikes. Just started the video and looking forward to learning more. Love the tulip top, btw. It's gorgeous.

[@theafterparty2264]

first clicked on your videos because they are so compositionally beautiful with your sets and outfits and self (shallow my bad guys) and THEN i stayed because they are SO well done and well informed. I thought this was gonna be a run of the mill "reaction to problematic person," but it is so much more than that both in research and intent. so much nuance and productivity in your message here and that is amazing. most well-earned subscription in a while congrats

[@irakulkarni5445]

Says a lot if people in the industry see comedy as purely punching down and making jokes supporting an oppressive system.

[@no_peace]

I was thinking about intergroup humor and about how the point for many people is to make fun of outsiders. I realized that's why they keep saying "we have to be able to make jokes about everyone, that's what comedy is for." Punching down. Because if you say "stop punching down" they're like "uh then who am i going to make fun of" They think that's the purpose of comedy

[@peachesandpoets]

Is this the dude that put his yucky hands on Zendaya? Edit: yep just saw that part of the video 😂

[@alyssapinon9670]

He was also somehow gross enough to get rejected by Doja cat who is notorious for thirsting over gross white men 😂

[@animeotaku307]

Girl has so much self-control. I would have done my best dilophosaurus impersonation in her shoes.

[@Bauxit456]

When in the video is that part?

[@AmaraOkudoh]

@@Bauxit456 Right, I didn't see it

[@Bauxit456]

@@AmaraOkudoh me neither

[@SageTrail-kl8us]

Great video. I’ve watched “the patriarchy and you” section a few times because you present so many important ideas to reflect on. I’m a transman whose “transition” began over 15 years ago, and I’m always seeking to deepen my understanding of masculinity, femininity, misogyny, and patriarchy. And even with all the content and literature I consume about these topics your video still stands out! I appreciate the time you put into making this, thank you!

[@JacobWilsonVO]

He’s some how a pick me for men.

[@sistergoodstuff]

So crazy to hear ‘men’ and ‘pure intentions’ in the same sentence 😂

[@shaktimishra9710]

There are many men with pure intention though. Why do you have so much hate against man that you can't even accept the sentence prove you are insecure. I know many females who have pure man as their husband.

[@gabbybrooks8092]

@@shaktimishra9710 why are you using the word men then referring to women as females? Why not use the word women?

[@shaktimishra9710]

@@gabbybrooks8092 i think female and woman are synonyms, same thing. Anyways pure intention man exist.

[@friggen_roylty4368]

@@gabbybrooks8092 I’ve often thought them as interchangeable, myself. Is that wrong? Homosapien male/homosapien female are just too annoying to use constantly and man/woman is an easier thing for me to call the sexes without sounding too much like a weird science nerd in a conversation.

[@gabbybrooks8092]

@@friggen_roylty4368 they are technically interchangeable but female can be used to refer to any animal or even parts of plants whereas women is exclusively to describe female humans. I and most women I know don’t refer to men as males in that manner. It comes of to me and some others as a little dehumanizing

[@mypathunfolding]

I’m reading “Boys and S*x” by Peggy Orenstein and it’s wild to hear what young men are taught by other young men or elders in their lives, yet no one is having fun. Also recommend her first book, which is about her interviews and research with girls / women.

[@catcat9582]

Crabs in a bucket?

[@sxmvp]

What exactly do you mean by "no one is having fun"?

[@B.Harper7]

@mypathunfolding yup, I always say that 'they are asking metaphorical vegans where the best hunting trails are, and to teach them how to track' 🤣😂 Please use it, steal it, teach the youngins, whatever lol I'm so freaking proud of the new generations, and ALL of the men from the previous generations that have been doing the work to pull back from the patriarchy screwing them over, and screwing everyone in their life, over. I'm seeing less and less crabs in a bucket mentality with the younger generations, and the acceptance that they were sold a bunch of lies. Women couldn't buy a house, car, get a loan, anything important without a man's signature until the late 1970s in the US. I'm so proud of watching the younger generations refuse to uphold the lie that the 50s were amazing, and women liked everything. They aren't holding insane levels of cognitive dissonance and pretending that being manly means being an asshole, and a clone of a podcast bro. They're being awesome and weird, secure in themselves, and finding people that actually match them-- other than simply surface level. 💖💖💖💖

[@subhashismandal9871]

Not having fun ?? What the ladies do that implies having fun and we don't ??

[@dharma6525]

​@@subhashismandal9871 your comment screams "damn shes right but i cant say it"

[@Huntypoobear]

This is a beautifully composed video, I came as a certified Rife hater, but I left with a greater appreciation for feminine struggles and a bit more grace for my own issues with masculinity. Thank you for making this.

[@The_Mighty_Red]

wow, so happy i found you! wish i could show this to every man, with so much love - thank you!

[@intern_dana]

literally the number one rule of old school club comedy is *"play for the audience that shows up"*

[@B.Harper7]

Yup, and he said nahhhhh, I'd rather have a few men buying my tickets and not covering bills, than sold out shows of "these super shallow women that can't possibly grasp my elevated comedy" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@jeffree2001]

As a child I and many of my friends were bullied mainly by being called “gay” and “girl” in equal measure by other boys. I hated straight men for most of my life because of it.

[@drewpeacock9087]

it happens to straight men too :( it fucking sucks what boys are taught they have to do/be in order to be safe

[@tracejohnson6273]

Your poll about masculinity and the responses it received reminded me of "Ten Responses to the Phrase Man Up" by Kyle "Guante" Tran Myhre. The most popular YT upload is 10 years old and it still is just as relevant and impactful today as it was when I first heard it almost that long ago. Worth a watch/listen to anyone compelled by this video.