Meanwhile... Florida Man Was Just Holding Penis Drugs For A Friend

  Рет қаралды 1,110,121

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Күн бұрын

Meanwhile... In crime news, a Florida man is maintaining his innocence after police found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around his penis during a traffic stop. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertY...
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com...
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер: 961
@christophermerlot3366
@christophermerlot3366 2 жыл бұрын
When I was in grade 8 in Ontario in the early 1980s I got sent home from school b/c I wore a shirt that said 'Save gas. Fart in a jar.' Little did I know it was a prophecy.
@stardust-rebel
@stardust-rebel 2 жыл бұрын
You were a prophet of gaseous profit.
@maryrosekent8223
@maryrosekent8223 2 жыл бұрын
@@stardust-rebel And you are a poet!
@madelaineseguin1490
@madelaineseguin1490 2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@christophermerlot3366
@christophermerlot3366 2 жыл бұрын
@@maryrosekent8223 Funny enough I actually am a poet. I have three books out and have edited at least 200 for other poets.
@allteanoshade5834
@allteanoshade5834 2 жыл бұрын
Hot air escapes me has a nice ring to it!
@heyheytaytay
@heyheytaytay 2 жыл бұрын
That cat WANTED an escape. He had dreams of working in that thrift store.
@kellycook3914
@kellycook3914 2 жыл бұрын
I'm pretty sure no cat dreams of working! 😸
@ericminch
@ericminch 2 жыл бұрын
When he said she had given up farting because it caused a heart attack, I thought she'd killed one of her customers.
@TheQueenRulesAll
@TheQueenRulesAll 2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@carolinamurtha3102
@carolinamurtha3102 2 жыл бұрын
That’s so much better then the actual story 😂.
@normabaker5837
@normabaker5837 2 жыл бұрын
I thought so too!
@lucycan6363
@lucycan6363 2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣 all that money she made can help her pay the hospital bills now.
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I thought. One of her customers opened his jar one-handed, the ol' ticker couldn't take the excitement, and the mourning family is suing her. Instead of this, it's just that the scammer is dumber than the scammed rubes. Really, really bad wind can indeed feel like symptoms of a heart attack, though. In the interest of flatulence-related fairness, I'll give her that.
@ukmediawarrior
@ukmediawarrior 2 жыл бұрын
It's possible the cat was trying to escape you know. Like how prisoners hide in laundry baskets to get out of prison. It's like the Great Escape, but with cats;)
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын
I grew up on a farm. You wouldn't believe the places we sometimes found cats in. In between bales on hay wagons from other farms, under the bonnets of tractors, inside seed drills and balers, inside of milk churns (sometimes drowned, unfortunately), inside silo tubes, under sleeping cows, everywhere! If it was big enough to squeeze a cat in/under there, a cat had squeezed itself in/under there at some point in time. Cats are weirdos!
@goldenmom2254
@goldenmom2254 2 жыл бұрын
Or little orphan Annie
@Bsdel
@Bsdel 2 жыл бұрын
I watched this video like 3 hours ago, went back to sleep, then woke up thinking: “Who the hell wants to buy farts?”
@allisonjames2923
@allisonjames2923 2 жыл бұрын
@@karmuppet Ewwwwwww! People buy that? Humans are so far beyond weird it’s scary 😳
@MrJimheeren
@MrJimheeren 2 жыл бұрын
Men. That’s who. The same guys who buy worn panties and bottles of piss
@ivo4357
@ivo4357 2 жыл бұрын
I can only guess it's people who don't like the 'green new deal', and who like to preserve some bad air for the future 💩💩
@lucycan6363
@lucycan6363 2 жыл бұрын
@@karmuppet huh? Who does that? 😳😳
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын
@@lucycan6363 Olfactophiles, that's who. We humans are very, very strange animals. I guess it comes with being the species with the most complex brain development on the planet. There should be a "Rule 34" for real life. If it exists, someone somewhere is getting sexually aroused by it. Farts, burps, buildings, compost, corpses, sheep, open sores, Donald Trump... everything.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 2 жыл бұрын
"Can ya hold this for me?" "I.. Dave... uh... Look. You're my best friend, but I just don't think of you that way... Ohhhhh... the drugs! The drugs... yeah sure."
@andromeda19775
@andromeda19775 2 жыл бұрын
HAHAHAHS COMEDY GOLD
@tammystockley-loughlin7680
@tammystockley-loughlin7680 2 жыл бұрын
😁😆😅😅
@Tommyoda
@Tommyoda 2 жыл бұрын
i see what you did there
@arthurdolle5257
@arthurdolle5257 2 жыл бұрын
How did they find drugs on his penis in a traffic stop?
@yackama504
@yackama504 2 жыл бұрын
I'm really glad that I wasn't the only one asking that question!!!
@rosesmith6925
@rosesmith6925 2 жыл бұрын
As a Floridian I'm thinking "Oh shit, what have we done now??" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
@digiboiwand
@digiboiwand 2 жыл бұрын
You have DeathSantis
@TheQueenRulesAll
@TheQueenRulesAll 2 жыл бұрын
I love how Florida insists in not putting people's names out there and it's just Flrouda Man in every headline. I thought it was just a joke til I looked it up.
@christopherhuff3123
@christopherhuff3123 2 жыл бұрын
Why are they looking at penises during traffic stops???
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@@christopherhuff3123 my first thought, too... "Sir, license and registration. Wait a minute, your groin area looks suspicious. Step out of the car..."
@beverly719
@beverly719 2 жыл бұрын
@@poietes7337 LOL 😁😁....I believe a dog was involved.😁😁😁
@TheRogueWolf
@TheRogueWolf 2 жыл бұрын
For those who wonder why aliens might not want to contact humanity: Just keep in mind the phrase "$50,000 a week selling farts in jars".
@Dan-nt2yb
@Dan-nt2yb 2 жыл бұрын
No kidding.
@Wednesdaywoe1975
@Wednesdaywoe1975 2 жыл бұрын
The aliens just made a screeching U turn.
@Tommyoda
@Tommyoda 2 жыл бұрын
Capitalism at its finest 💨
@hawkeye5955
@hawkeye5955 2 жыл бұрын
E-girl bath water pre-dates bottled farts and aliens have been avoiding us long before that.
@DagonExcelstraun
@DagonExcelstraun 2 жыл бұрын
I'm in the wrong industry
@KingOfMadCows
@KingOfMadCows 2 жыл бұрын
This seems to be the perfect opportunity for Goop to move in on the fart jar market.
@AdrianColley
@AdrianColley 2 жыл бұрын
They did. They just put a candle in the jar too.
@verenafraser
@verenafraser 2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@lawrencefeldman7744
@lawrencefeldman7744 2 жыл бұрын
Thanx for the band name!☕️📻 Sheesh! Talk about a lucrative (lying on your) side gig!?!? I hope the jars are vacuum sealed. Is there a quality control element? Hank Hill would not approve.
@jenrice4500
@jenrice4500 2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@WarriorPaxo
@WarriorPaxo 2 жыл бұрын
Martin has the market cornered
@jdax21
@jdax21 2 жыл бұрын
Whoever writes those Meanwhile intros needs a raise and a psychological evaluation.
@crashcorrigan9733
@crashcorrigan9733 2 жыл бұрын
Take your pick. He's only got a 100 writers. What a putz.
@richiejohnson
@richiejohnson 2 жыл бұрын
@@crashcorrigan9733 oo. Salty
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@@crashcorrigan9733 nah. Not a putz. Just someone who really appreciates the fine word play that is Meanwhile. And don't we all? .
@petrab.285
@petrab.285 2 жыл бұрын
😆
@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 2 жыл бұрын
That whole spiel sounded like he just remembered what he did at Burning Man
@Goosetholomew
@Goosetholomew 2 жыл бұрын
I used to work at a Goodwill and someone's cat snuck into a piece of furniture they were donating. Luckily, we all spotted the cat while the donor was still handing over boxes. 😅 I should have guessed it could happen again.
@M_SC
@M_SC 2 жыл бұрын
Im worried about cats getting chopped in half by recliners now
@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577
@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577 2 жыл бұрын
🤪
@90MysteriumFascinans
@90MysteriumFascinans 2 жыл бұрын
@@M_SC recliners are dangerous for pets (and probably small children, too). They’re comfortable but I’d almost rather not have them around, because it’s like cats & dogs immediately go underneath them.
@christinamann3640
@christinamann3640 2 жыл бұрын
I heard a story about a suitcase…which was picked up by the wrong passenger at the airport. 🙀
@batalorian7997
@batalorian7997 2 жыл бұрын
@umbah umbah i remember a story where a can't ran away from home, snuck itself in a package, and got sent all the way to France. Fortunately the cat had a name tag and address, so the French sent it back home
@rikorobinson
@rikorobinson 2 жыл бұрын
I just love that she was so ethical about it that she was sending legit farts. I mean, could've just been sending jars she snagged off a shelf at Walmart without ever even opening 'em. But this bastion of conscientious business practices had to go to the ER for having so much gas, she thought she was having a heartattack. She was DOING IT FOR REAL! Bravo, lady. You have better ethics than the entire Fortune 500 combined. I'm not mad at ya...
@forthesakeofsanity
@forthesakeofsanity 2 жыл бұрын
🙄 its men like you that drive this ego-driven, appearence-based, capitalist market that will be the downfall of us all
@yasuke9317
@yasuke9317 2 жыл бұрын
I think you bought one.🤣
@Kiernangaming
@Kiernangaming 2 жыл бұрын
@trollinrollin she made over 50k a week I'm pretty sure people did want them 🤣
@mefford67
@mefford67 2 жыл бұрын
*Her dedication to producing legitimate goods remains impressive, period.* 🤷🏻‍♀️
@rikorobinson
@rikorobinson 2 жыл бұрын
@@forthesakeofsanity And it's people like you that can't take a joke. I say f*ck consumerism. Know who you're talking to and stop being so eager to insult people from the safety of the internet. Stop being that person.
@laalaa99stl
@laalaa99stl 2 жыл бұрын
Pity. The guy who got assaulted won't get a payday since he'll file the lawsuit against... Usher.
@ritafranklin9031
@ritafranklin9031 2 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@carolmiller5713
@carolmiller5713 2 жыл бұрын
Meanwhile is my favorite segment - not just for the content but especially for the crazy, illusionary free-zone that is the intro - always brilliant!
@recyclops3587
@recyclops3587 2 жыл бұрын
People buying farts......we are not making a good case to save humanity at all. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️
@ivo4357
@ivo4357 2 жыл бұрын
I can only guess it's people who don't like the 'green new deal', and who like to preserve some bad air for the future 💩💩
@offthewall9988
@offthewall9988 2 жыл бұрын
no one mentioned why the D was out at a traffic stop!? is that what cops do in America - "you have an unpaid traffic violation... show us your D and we don't mean ID"
@b1acksteve
@b1acksteve 2 жыл бұрын
You have to understand, Florida is crazy
@Wednesdaywoe1975
@Wednesdaywoe1975 2 жыл бұрын
I'm guessing the officer noticed the highly sus drug shaped bulge in his pants
@offthewall9988
@offthewall9988 2 жыл бұрын
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 still, it's the D tho
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
That was a brilliant Meanwhile intro. The word play in these segments appeals to the dormant wordsmith in me.
@NicoleAZ145
@NicoleAZ145 2 жыл бұрын
“Don’t call me an actor.” “We don’t.” 🔥😂
@hawkeye5955
@hawkeye5955 2 жыл бұрын
"Call me a thespian." "We won't."
@gnocchidokey
@gnocchidokey 2 жыл бұрын
To quote an old cracked article: "Nicolas Cage is a Hollywood celebrity who abruptly quit acting at the height of his career. Since then he has starred in dozens of films."
@goodmorninggilw2836
@goodmorninggilw2836 2 жыл бұрын
The meanwhile monologue is one of the most brilliant bits in television. It is not only hilarious, but thrilling in its complex Nerdist weird intellectuality
@elizabethingram9784
@elizabethingram9784 2 жыл бұрын
Colbert! Should win a medal for making us laugh. Oh, he has? :)
@michaelscott2381
@michaelscott2381 2 жыл бұрын
If you are a dolt. You appear to be simple minded. Easily led astray.
@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577
@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577 2 жыл бұрын
He is amazing 🤩 I love this guy
@sweett2185
@sweett2185 2 жыл бұрын
He has won several. He won w TDS too.
@austynross
@austynross 2 жыл бұрын
{spit take} *He has?!!*
@RicoBurghFan
@RicoBurghFan 2 жыл бұрын
The best thing about Meanwhile is the setup. Just brilliant.
@ryshow9118
@ryshow9118 2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes, just sometimes I huff a can of paint thinner and then ride my friendly neighborhood alligator to the governor's mansion in Tallahassee and start writing out executive orders proclaiming shirts illegal for anyone above the age of 21.
@OculusQuestFun
@OculusQuestFun 2 жыл бұрын
Bet the writers consider it a challenge to see if they can trip Stephen up
@hareeshkrishnaa5642
@hareeshkrishnaa5642 2 жыл бұрын
Introduction also
@michaeleasterwood6558
@michaeleasterwood6558 2 жыл бұрын
And the worse is the crappy audience
@zesty9815
@zesty9815 2 жыл бұрын
You won an abandoned ranch off the coast of Mozambique in a Russian roulette game? Gee, some guys have _all_ the luck!
@stevefirth6472
@stevefirth6472 2 жыл бұрын
The "traffic stop" that found drugs on a man's penis is not the type of search I have seen on TV. Sounds a bit perverted, even for Florida.😄
@lynnebucher6537
@lynnebucher6537 2 жыл бұрын
Police were probably hoping to find a wad of cash they could confiscate without due process. It's a big moneymaker here.
@bhaine13
@bhaine13 2 жыл бұрын
The most disturbing part is not that this woman sells her farts but the people who are buying em . There are more disturbing people in this world than we think
@nickromo8195
@nickromo8195 2 жыл бұрын
Hey don't Kink shame!! You don't know what you're into until you try it!!
@ZarkowsWorld
@ZarkowsWorld 2 жыл бұрын
@@nickromo8195 Simp-shaming is fine though.
@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou
@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, what she's doing is perfectly rational. If I could make $50K a week selling my farts, I'd be insane not to. But the people buying them...they belong in straitjackets in padded cells.
@lucycan6363
@lucycan6363 2 жыл бұрын
@@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou you got that right! Hope the poor people aren't the ones buying, lol
@mwater_moon2865
@mwater_moon2865 2 жыл бұрын
There was a gamer who sold her bath water, and make a ton of money from it. and then there's Gwyneth Paltrow.....
@rathernotsay5629
@rathernotsay5629 2 жыл бұрын
who ever writes the lead-ins for Meanwhile is stone-cold brilliant.
@dreychestnutt
@dreychestnutt 2 жыл бұрын
Really? Am I the only one who hates that it often takes two minutes to get to the actual segment jokes?
@smokyquartz5817
@smokyquartz5817 2 жыл бұрын
Audrey C Yes.
@tiagoramos4111
@tiagoramos4111 2 жыл бұрын
@@dreychestnutt yes
@geekishgir
@geekishgir 2 жыл бұрын
@@dreychestnutt They are so tedious. I skip them, the joke is old and beaten to death.
@Nowhere888
@Nowhere888 2 жыл бұрын
The cat joke was so funny I was crying. My cat makes the same mistake every morning when I don't get up fast enough to feed her.
@alaric_
@alaric_ 2 жыл бұрын
It was funny, although i cannot relate to it :D Cats use whatever method they notice wakes their owner up. My two cats meauw at most, usually they just wait before i wake up. When wanting to go out and im still sleep, one of them runs once over me using my belly as a trampoline with minute or so between runs. The same cat comes to me and gestures me to follow when it has done his business in the litter box and wants me to clean it or is not happy with his food. Ever notice cats 'scraping' air/ground next to a food they don't like? The same motion they use when covering poop? :D When he wants to play, he goes to the toy box and starts to pick up toys while looking at me. Late at night cats are not allowed outside because of the varied population of predators (foxes, lynxes, wolves...) and they understand when i say 'no'. They also react to when i encourage them to go outside and depending on the weather they might not be exactly enthusiastic. The key is consistency and patience. Single words and consistant responses. Cats are smart and like dogs can be interacted with, usually people just don't want to do that. They decide that cats will never learn anything and don't even bother trying. And then humans are amazed how independent cats are!
@randyj420
@randyj420 2 жыл бұрын
If cats could talk - they wouldn't warn you about putting their butthole on your mouth while you were asleep. They'd likely say "hey asshole - I'm hungry!" a lot.
@Megalomaniakaal
@Megalomaniakaal 2 жыл бұрын
You forgot these: " "
@artguillartes6536
@artguillartes6536 2 жыл бұрын
P
@charlesscatola5488
@charlesscatola5488 2 жыл бұрын
My cats do that.....and it ain't no mistake
@desktopkitty
@desktopkitty 2 жыл бұрын
My question is would it be safe to keep the fart jars near the vagina candle when it's in use?
@roadtrain5910
@roadtrain5910 2 жыл бұрын
ummm?
@lolawants2008
@lolawants2008 2 жыл бұрын
😂 just make sure they’re downwind lmao
@roadtrain5910
@roadtrain5910 2 жыл бұрын
@@lolawants2008 wait.... pull my finger
@TheMk1960
@TheMk1960 2 жыл бұрын
Warning label: "do not store fart jars near an open flame."
@roadtrain5910
@roadtrain5910 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheMk1960 but who really wants to buy a can-of-farts?
@deelee1569
@deelee1569 2 жыл бұрын
People buy farts...there's no hope 😔
@dimitriosdesmos4699
@dimitriosdesmos4699 2 жыл бұрын
there is an epidemic of artificially induced paraphilias....we have poor people working for probably someone, going around drugging people with shit you wont imagine......there is hope if we carpet bomb them only.
@jamesgulapa7219
@jamesgulapa7219 2 жыл бұрын
... on the upside, we'll all die laughing...
@lolawants2008
@lolawants2008 2 жыл бұрын
@@dimitriosdesmos4699 can you translate? 1 sentence made sense, then you kinda jumped the shark
@toadjiang7626
@toadjiang7626 2 жыл бұрын
The craziest part of this fart story is that the woman even bothered to eat beans and eggs in order to make more farts, can't she just put some other similar gas in jars and claim it's her farts instead? Is any of her customers actually gonna complain about her farts not being authentic? And how do they even know?
@fernie6299
@fernie6299 2 жыл бұрын
@@toadjiang7626 Do you really believe the fart connoisseurs wouldn't be able to tell the difference between flatulence and other gasses? I mean, come on, get real. These guys know their stuff. They're paying upwards of $1000 a pop for the real thing, and Stephanie makes sure to always deliver top-shelf flatus because that's how you get them crawling back for more. And let me tell you, once you get a whiff of a first-rate fart, that's it, you're hooked for life, and nothing but the best will ever suffice again. I suspect now that she's retired, a lot of people are going to be in withdrawal till someone else fills the market and meets the demand.
@ivo4357
@ivo4357 2 жыл бұрын
why do I still get surprised hearing stuff like "woman sells farts in jars". I wanna move to an uninhabited island. I can no longer meet people without thinking they must be some kind of weirdo. The world's a sick place.
@ely4935
@ely4935 2 жыл бұрын
W
@bensanterre9478
@bensanterre9478 2 жыл бұрын
I've had the castaway fantasy since I was a kid. I suppose now is as good a time as any to make my childhood dreams come true... Actually it might have been nice before I knew how messed up things are. But I suppose it's all part of the heroes journey of adulthood. We can't stay in Neverland forever... Good luck to you my fellow primate, there is still good in them...
@lindaward3156
@lindaward3156 2 жыл бұрын
"of course, l find this out only after the holidays" he slides in the most hilarious lines in a soft underhand you almost miss them! Colbert only gets better with age Zaddy
@Surge1077
@Surge1077 2 жыл бұрын
Also: "You gotta admire the balls....."🤣
@NathanCroucher
@NathanCroucher 2 жыл бұрын
I commend her honesty, she could have kept doing it and lied.
@jiukumite
@jiukumite 2 жыл бұрын
Leon Lush covered this story last night! His review is just....beautiful!
@kalieffoster4607
@kalieffoster4607 2 жыл бұрын
Or she could've done porn, but instead sold farts. I don't see the issue
@NathanCroucher
@NathanCroucher 2 жыл бұрын
@@kalieffoster4607 Interesting, i wonder how covid has affected the porn industry, do they have to wear masks.
@henrymccoy7171
@henrymccoy7171 2 жыл бұрын
@umbah umbah - Keep spamming the blind links, Chuckles. Maybe another right-wing fool will click on one.
@andrewthezeppo
@andrewthezeppo 2 жыл бұрын
The beans and eggs thing is weird LOL like you can have a balanced diet and still fart. Chopped salads with lots of cabbage are very healthy....and also make me gassy.
@ingridgrattidge5637
@ingridgrattidge5637 2 жыл бұрын
You are an absolute blessing of laughter during these trying times. Thank you so much! 💕💕💕🤣🤣🤣🤣
@HungryLoki
@HungryLoki 2 жыл бұрын
I gotta say, you have to respect Farty's commitment. She could have just been selling empty jars to the same effect, but she actually went to the trouble of altering her diet and capturing (or at least trying to capture) her farts.
@MorrisLess
@MorrisLess 2 жыл бұрын
Honesty in marketing.
@lynnstlaurent6789
@lynnstlaurent6789 2 жыл бұрын
Meanwhile I eat eggs and beans for free!
@lucycan6363
@lucycan6363 2 жыл бұрын
@@lynnstlaurent6789 do you say side gig, lol?
@collarclatch6414
@collarclatch6414 2 жыл бұрын
If she was selling empty jars she would not get so many repeat customers.
@PrimeObserver-1
@PrimeObserver-1 2 жыл бұрын
Well, at least the buyers are getting more value for the purchase than donations to Trump (which by the way is British slang for fart).
@stelliocantos4639
@stelliocantos4639 2 жыл бұрын
I will never tire of the fabulous ramp ups to announcing that it's meanwhile. Very creative each time and I love it. Kudos to whoever writes them.
@Canuckmom128
@Canuckmom128 2 жыл бұрын
Loved the Cat bit. So spot On. Also “You’ve Got Mers” …Classic. All wrapped up in the gorgeous ribbon that is Jon Batiste (that man has more talent in his pinky finger than most people have …period).
@jabbermocky4520
@jabbermocky4520 2 жыл бұрын
Jon is so amazing! And he's still YOUNG! So much talent and musical generosity in that man. A true international treasure.
@mercator79
@mercator79 2 жыл бұрын
He was looking more suave than usual too. He is as dapper as he is a musical genius. No way I could pull off a look like that without people laughing at me, but on him, it looks suave
@billyeveryteen7328
@billyeveryteen7328 2 жыл бұрын
$50,000 a WEEK selling farts? Humanity doesn't deserve to survive this pandemic.
@kt5570
@kt5570 2 жыл бұрын
So freaking true
@moremiaj4786
@moremiaj4786 2 жыл бұрын
Please O!!!! we arent all trying to buy other people's flatulence. Some of us just need a better planet to live on away from these psycho sickos.
@pamelacass9642
@pamelacass9642 2 жыл бұрын
I resent the implication that ALL of us would buy farts especially at that price. She's a perv, and the people who bought her farts are pervs. What else do we need to know?🤔
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын
Sure, kill seven billion people just because a few of them have weird fetishes that don't affect your life in any way, Billy. Man, you soh smaht, brah!
@deniseh6540
@deniseh6540 2 жыл бұрын
once again John Batiste is totally killin' it with his cool fashionista out fit
@spacelemur7955
@spacelemur7955 2 жыл бұрын
Man, I wish Colbert would include full clips of the band ever day.
@pushinkeys
@pushinkeys 2 жыл бұрын
“That’s somebody’s little girl” 😂😂😂😂😂🤣
@nickinderrieden7630
@nickinderrieden7630 2 жыл бұрын
I'm interested in what happened with the Omicron Night Stand couple
@Vera-kh8zj
@Vera-kh8zj 2 жыл бұрын
gotta admire the balls. That one was an easy one, AND funny.
@laalaa99stl
@laalaa99stl 2 жыл бұрын
I think that guy just ushered in a slew of jokes about him.
@henrymccoy7171
@henrymccoy7171 2 жыл бұрын
@umbah umbah - Spamming again, Chuckles? You find any suckers for your right-wing scam yet?
@jcorbett9620
@jcorbett9620 2 жыл бұрын
Stephen missed out the best part of the woman selling her farts in jars. After being told she was causing herself harm by her diet, she is now planning to sell NFT's of the jars containeg her farts instead.
@jabbermocky4520
@jabbermocky4520 2 жыл бұрын
Nonfartable tokens?
@robertfrisby9182
@robertfrisby9182 2 жыл бұрын
This guy is one of the biggest driest pec of crap on TV. Pretty bad when you have to pay your Audience to Cheer for you👎👎👎
@fdrstan
@fdrstan 2 жыл бұрын
@@robertfrisby9182 Cry harder and maybe the one term traitor will come throw you a roll of paper towels for your tears.
@hittingyouoverthehead
@hittingyouoverthehead 2 жыл бұрын
So first she nearly killed herself with gas. Now she's going to support the thing that's killing the planet with gas.
@mxtb1888
@mxtb1888 2 жыл бұрын
No fart traces
@missmayflower
@missmayflower 2 жыл бұрын
All the best stories start with “A Florida man……”
@mervisreissig1525
@mervisreissig1525 2 жыл бұрын
No matter how bad my day starts out, Stephen can always make me laugh!
@jabbermocky4520
@jabbermocky4520 2 жыл бұрын
That's the job and nobody does it better. Nobody.
@xtins
@xtins 2 жыл бұрын
You mean his writers 🤣
@timothypricesr5953
@timothypricesr5953 2 жыл бұрын
Lol means you just have no sense of humor as he has not been funny for years
@doncorleone3829
@doncorleone3829 2 жыл бұрын
@@timothypricesr5953 or ever ......................
@henrymccoy7171
@henrymccoy7171 2 жыл бұрын
@@timothypricesr5953 - Ah. That's why you and Don Corleone have a prize-winning comedy show of your own, right?? (=snicker=)
@traildoggy
@traildoggy 2 жыл бұрын
He was holding the drugs for the cat
@Rebar77_real
@Rebar77_real 2 жыл бұрын
And the cat was only under there to bottle farts.
@Red-rl1xx
@Red-rl1xx 2 жыл бұрын
"Was that random jumble of words a sentence?"😄
@Djynni
@Djynni 2 жыл бұрын
After what Gwyneth Paltrow has for sale, I'm not surprised that the 90 Day Fiance contestant was putting her farts up for sale. But I'm constantly surprised that there are morons who will buy this stuff.
@debrahelmlinger6256
@debrahelmlinger6256 2 жыл бұрын
People buying stupid shit should pay the most taxes
@aohige
@aohige 2 жыл бұрын
"You got MERS!" With a lethality rate of 33% there a good chance that couple is dead before the movie ends lol
@tairneanaich
@tairneanaich 2 жыл бұрын
Nah it‘ll kill off the perfectly nice normal dude Meg Ryan was dating at the beginning just in time for her to fall into the Male Love Interest™‘s arms. That‘s one out of three
@tjvanderwalt92
@tjvanderwalt92 2 жыл бұрын
It doesn't get better than this.. I love this segment 😁 MEANWHILE
@crashcorrigan9733
@crashcorrigan9733 2 жыл бұрын
Try canker sores, while you're at it. If I could vomit a human being, it would be "funny man" Stevie Colbertski.
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@@crashcorrigan9733 Still here, I see. And to what end exactly?
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
The intro to the Meanwhile segment is a glorious melange of wit and words, a sassy gift for the logophiles among us.
@seaninness334
@seaninness334 2 жыл бұрын
Am I supposed to be heartened that this woman actually produced artisanal farts in jars when so many other creepy fart peddlers just sell empty jars? Thanks Stephen for putting this f'd up thought in my head. Worse things have happened. hehe
@Lodinn
@Lodinn 2 жыл бұрын
...There are more fart sellers around?
@LiveMusicOntario
@LiveMusicOntario 2 жыл бұрын
Good description when you make them sound classy by using "artisanal." Flatulence peddlers need your marketing chops.
@seaninness334
@seaninness334 2 жыл бұрын
@@LiveMusicOntario I liked the dichotomy of classy with, as you so nicely put it, Flatulence Peddlers. I just thought her sacrifice, for the art, you know? Deserved something... not respect but... something. hehe.
@seaninness334
@seaninness334 2 жыл бұрын
@@Lodinn Her adherence to the strict fart harvesting protocols makes me assume there are more and that maybe, THEY aren't as professional or on the up and up, as it were. LOL!
@Tina-qp7py
@Tina-qp7py 2 жыл бұрын
He does a great cat impersonation.
@DuranmanX
@DuranmanX 2 жыл бұрын
Nic Cage: "Call me a thespian" I didn't know he liked girls
@twstf8905
@twstf8905 2 жыл бұрын
Somebody's little girl 🤣
@wielsonf
@wielsonf 2 жыл бұрын
Stephen: Mozambique CC: Moses Ingram
@chezmoi42
@chezmoi42 2 жыл бұрын
CC's are hysterical with proper names, scientific names, and translating anyone with an accent.
@napoleonibonaparte7198
@napoleonibonaparte7198 2 жыл бұрын
There’s always a new Floridaman article.
@robbrcnstuff4220
@robbrcnstuff4220 2 жыл бұрын
Wtf do people do once they have received their fart in a jar? Is it a display item or is it a consumable? Wtf?
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
Questions like these are fuel for the insomniac brain.... .🤔
@beastmode-ht8ou
@beastmode-ht8ou 2 жыл бұрын
Every Meanwhile introduction is pure poetry
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
These setups always make me feel a bit ashamed that the logophile in me isn't churning out more content.
@WT.....
@WT..... 2 жыл бұрын
I'm surprised, "Djokovic getting his Aussie visa revoked upon arrival" didn't make the cut for both the monologue, or Meanwhile. For those that don't know, the visa was revoked because Djokovic wasn't transparent about his vaccine status, which led to him being held in a detention facility for deportation. This led to Serbia tossing a racquet by demanding that the Aussies move him to a nice highclass hotel for detention, and Djokovic suing the government for unfair treatment via the Aussie court.
@numberM4
@numberM4 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe they decided it was too controversial for Meanwhile. It's meant to be comedy after all
@sophiophile
@sophiophile 2 жыл бұрын
Lol. Djokovic can't handle being in subpar accommodations. What a princess.
@JavierGomez-lv5mq
@JavierGomez-lv5mq 2 жыл бұрын
Best joke would have been that Murican patriits are now worried Nadal would get his right to bare arms revoked
@reviewwriter8352
@reviewwriter8352 2 жыл бұрын
It was all over the news BEFORE he arrived, so they had to have known. They could simply have tested him.
@peace4myheart
@peace4myheart 2 жыл бұрын
I think you got the information wrong. His visa was revoked bc border patrol deemed his medical exemption didn't meet their approval. There were only two kinds of exemption allowed, if you can prove you have an allergic reaction to the vaccines or if you have a severe infection after the first shot. Djokovic obviously didn't get vaccinated so he was trying to get a visa under the allergic reaction to the vaccines. His exemption was approved by the Australian Open tennis authorities and Djokovic was under the impression that that would meet the requirements of the border authorities. He flew to Australia and was stopped from entering. Because he is a celebrity, he wanted to stay at his own luxury hotel. However, the government said that he should be treated equally like everyone else so he is staying at a cheap hotel where they kept everyone. His parents are now using the public and getting Serbian government involved to pressure the government to give him the visa. The judge will decide on Monday if he should win his appeal or not. I have no sympathy for those unvaccinated people who use a fake medical exemption. If Djokovic truly does meet the exemption, then let him have his visa. Otherwise, deport him like everyone else. Rules are rules and he knows about this months before.
@wtf1185
@wtf1185 2 жыл бұрын
That fart selling bit just shows how ridiculous social media influencers are and how insanely stupid their followers are for swallowing this crap. Oh no, hack, hack, cough, cough. Arrgg, I just swallowed a fart. 🤢🤮 I love these meanwhile bits. 🤣🤪😎
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 2 жыл бұрын
Stuff like that was around long before social media or the internet. Especially in Japan. Used panty vending machines and all that... (No, I'm NOT kidding. That used to be a thing in Tokyo, maybe it still is. I don't know and I don't want to know.)
@corujariousa
@corujariousa 2 жыл бұрын
We see lots of ways people waste money but buying farts must be one of the most ridiculous ways of doing it. Just drive in a poor neighborhood and throw cash out of the window instead.
@moonrazk
@moonrazk 2 жыл бұрын
No, but, you see, they want _hot girl_ farts.
@Alexander-uk4fw
@Alexander-uk4fw 2 жыл бұрын
At least that would help people
@yasuke9317
@yasuke9317 2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant idea. How about billionaires do something similar to climate activists?
@jakepullman4914
@jakepullman4914 2 жыл бұрын
Or just fart out the window. Poor people can bottle your donations and sell them. Win/win.
@stephenanning7849
@stephenanning7849 2 жыл бұрын
@@jakepullman4914 I’m sitting on a goldmine.
@DedicatedSlaya
@DedicatedSlaya 2 жыл бұрын
The Nicholas Cage Joke!!! "I'm Done!!!" (sound of door slam, car peeling off) 🤣🤣🤣
@ernestpeele7282
@ernestpeele7282 2 жыл бұрын
This is funny enough to watch twice!
@ellenspear50
@ellenspear50 2 жыл бұрын
Jon's clothes! I love his amazing wardrobe.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 2 жыл бұрын
In their defense, crazy cat ladies shop pretty much exclusively at thrift shops, so... could have worked out for everyone involved.
@catherinekenny3926
@catherinekenny3926 2 жыл бұрын
This crazy cat lady listens to Metallica all day no time for thriftshop and I'm 60. Stay strong and safe and SANE from the west coast of Scotland x 💙
@fordhouse8b
@fordhouse8b 2 жыл бұрын
@@catherinekenny3926 Maybe you are just a cat lady, and not a crazy cat lady?
@catherinekenny3926
@catherinekenny3926 2 жыл бұрын
@@fordhouse8b no everybody in my wee village called me that. That's OK. Stay strong and safe and SANE from the west coast of Scotland x 💙
@sarahmesser3359
@sarahmesser3359 2 жыл бұрын
Jon Batiste always has great outfits, but I love that blue & silver combo he's got here
@rikkiechambers4959
@rikkiechambers4959 2 жыл бұрын
Ahhhh the long joke .. I love the meanwhile set up so very much 😊 and the rest of it is great too 😂
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@umbah umbah please stop putting this link in all of the comment threads. It's so annoying.
@OneWithManyThings
@OneWithManyThings 2 жыл бұрын
@@poietes7337 Report it as spam
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@@OneWithManyThings I did, but then it shows up in almost every single thread.
@Lucius1958
@Lucius1958 2 жыл бұрын
@@poietes7337 Keep reporting it. If enough people do, perhaps we might see fewer of these spammers. (I know it is a hopeless dream; but we cannot just sit back and let these bastards flood the site).
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
@@Lucius1958 I report them any time I see them. For a while, there were tons of sex bots making seemingly relevant comments but with user names that were overtly raunchy. Then their profile pix would show some hefty body parts. I'm not a prude: I don't care about people displaying various body parts if its related to the subject at hand, and I could give a hoot about people watching porn. It just irritates the bejeezus out of me when comment streams become repositories for spam bots, whatever they're about. The only difference with porn bots is that KZbin seems to get rid of them faster than other kinds. It's the annoyance factor. 🤨🤪
@goldenroux612
@goldenroux612 2 жыл бұрын
Much respect to John Batise and the rest of the crew!
@laalaa99stl
@laalaa99stl 2 жыл бұрын
Re the 90 day divorcee: She's doinitwrong. She really ought to be selling NFTs of her flatus!
@andrewsuryali8540
@andrewsuryali8540 2 жыл бұрын
Oh, NOW we know who to blame for that abomination...
@bfkennedy
@bfkennedy 2 жыл бұрын
She is! 😂
@Cancun771
@Cancun771 2 жыл бұрын
Time for a Meanwhile intro where he literally jumps a shark. The MERS gag was worthy of House MD though.
@sequoia1171
@sequoia1171 2 жыл бұрын
You're tripping dude, Nicolas Cage is a National Treasure
@audbertovelez130
@audbertovelez130 2 жыл бұрын
love you steven, and Batiste looking sharp, brother as always, my blessings to all of you.. much love🙏❤❤❤❤❤✌😎👍
@audbertovelez130
@audbertovelez130 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks.. you guys are like family to me!! Much love and appreciation 💛
@matthuck378
@matthuck378 2 жыл бұрын
Nic Cage is a really good actor. Sure, he's made some questionable choices, but at least he isn't in trouble for harassment, abuse, bigotry, or a slew of other things a lot of celebrities are into. PS: "Mandy" is an awesome movie, and I won't hear otherwise.
@andrewsuryali8540
@andrewsuryali8540 2 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you're gonna love The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.
@DuranmanX
@DuranmanX 2 жыл бұрын
That's kind of the bare minimum of standards for a person
@tlak
@tlak 2 жыл бұрын
Cage did some decent work till he was broke, then it appeared he took whatever and did bad work doing this.
@lolawants2008
@lolawants2008 2 жыл бұрын
Sorry- it won’t be a surprise if that ball drops one day. However- Cage was known as a great actor. He just has mental and/or personality disorders that take away from his credibility & respectability. But he’s great. Especially in dark comedy I think. I don’t know Mandy.
@michaelbray109
@michaelbray109 2 жыл бұрын
@@andrewsuryali8540 “Raising Arizona” is credible
@markphc99
@markphc99 2 жыл бұрын
Who the hell would buy farts in a jar? $50k p.a. ! that’s a lot of perverted saddos.How many people are selling them? I might check Amazon, or maybe Goop?
@kholdanstaalstorm6881
@kholdanstaalstorm6881 2 жыл бұрын
Just adding some additional information here. She was selling them at $500 a jar. The concoction she ate to keep her production volume up was large quantities of protein shake in addition to the eggs and beans. I'm not proud of remembering this information.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 2 жыл бұрын
Oh. My. Gawd. My couch cushion is worth millions!
@FutureCommentary1
@FutureCommentary1 2 жыл бұрын
Are you a pretty blonde ? Are you a TV celebrity?
@kitcobain444
@kitcobain444 2 жыл бұрын
LMAO yup!!!
@kitcobain444
@kitcobain444 2 жыл бұрын
Just make sure no cats are in it!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@lolawants2008
@lolawants2008 2 жыл бұрын
😂 not unless they come with a rack like that! Let’s be honest
@ericminch
@ericminch 2 жыл бұрын
Sort of a time release capsule, I guess.
@lw3269
@lw3269 2 жыл бұрын
Jason Derulo-same guy who got kicked off an airplane in 2015. This guy needs some anger management .
@beez1717
@beez1717 2 жыл бұрын
I would love it if we had an entire episode that was the monolog and meanwhile!
@godlessqueertheywarnedyouabout
@godlessqueertheywarnedyouabout 2 жыл бұрын
Did Florida supply *all* of these news stories? Because it sure feels like it.
@AnnoyingMoose
@AnnoyingMoose 2 жыл бұрын
Meanwhile, in Hollywood, multiple down-on-their-luck writers are frantically composing scripts based on the Omicron Rom-Com idea!
@staceybair5407
@staceybair5407 2 жыл бұрын
Laughed til I farted!!🤣🤣🤣
@freedumb_3.0
@freedumb_3.0 2 жыл бұрын
Florida never ceased to surprise me.
@suziperret468
@suziperret468 2 жыл бұрын
Meanwhile…What an explosive description! Love it!
@grantgrant7230
@grantgrant7230 2 жыл бұрын
Now days, when the "Florida man" is mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is "What has Trump done now?".
@terilw
@terilw 2 жыл бұрын
Even with Jason Derulo saying his name in the beginning in every song, fans still confuse him with Usher. He got it bad, lol!
@yasseramad7937
@yasseramad7937 2 жыл бұрын
Hi from Mozambique.. Thanks Stephen Colbert
@1carrollwood298
@1carrollwood298 2 жыл бұрын
I couldn't live without meanwhile. Reminds me of comedy central
@royaneekhalil6488
@royaneekhalil6488 2 жыл бұрын
Everytime the world asks what the Americans are sniffing, now we know.
@jonnybadger
@jonnybadger 2 жыл бұрын
The jacket that the conga player is wearing. SUPER SWEET! I want one.
@deviationblue
@deviationblue 2 жыл бұрын
If your show were an hour of nothing but Meanwhile, I would finally hook up that Dtv antenna and watch your show live.
@ellenhajie2421
@ellenhajie2421 2 жыл бұрын
Florida man never fails to impress 💀
@fairygurl9269
@fairygurl9269 2 жыл бұрын
I love that Beautiful Band ♡
@NadaSurfinAB
@NadaSurfinAB 2 жыл бұрын
Don’t just talk about the great chart the band just played, get the man some performance royalties and post it so we can hear it too!
@kristinLB
@kristinLB 2 жыл бұрын
Who else misses “quarantine while” ?
@bookfound
@bookfound 2 жыл бұрын
Its not smart to tempt fate.
@mrsmucha
@mrsmucha 2 жыл бұрын
This Meanwhile was soooo funny! I really needed the chuckles!
@everythingiseverything9920
@everythingiseverything9920 2 жыл бұрын
I looovee 90 Day Fiancé, but now I'm so (dare i say) relieved that I always skip her scenes!
@JacWarner
@JacWarner 2 жыл бұрын
“Vagrant’s hotbox yurt of news …” champagne comedy right there.
@tlak
@tlak 2 жыл бұрын
I guess they were using the farts to peel paint.
@murrayflewelling1258
@murrayflewelling1258 2 жыл бұрын
Next on Judy Justice......." you claim that you opened the jar and could smell no evidence that you got what you purchased"??????????????????????????????????
@ImperfectXIII
@ImperfectXIII 2 жыл бұрын
I always love Stephen's lead-ins to his "Meanwhile" segments. He really paints a picture with his words.
@poietes7337
@poietes7337 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. I love the way they play with words: satire mixed in with screwball comedy and a bit of sociopolitical (word?) humor. 😏😝😆
@idkyet3573
@idkyet3573 2 жыл бұрын
Derulo assaulted two men. Being called the wrong name doesn't give you carte blanche to hit someone.
@davidcox8961
@davidcox8961 2 жыл бұрын
Long time ago the joke was, save energy, fart in a bottle.
Meanwhile… Stephen Tries “Pilk” | Florida Man Goes Overboard
7:13
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 888 М.
Je peux le faire
00:13
Daniil le Russe
Рет қаралды 12 МЛН
The FASTEST way to PASS SNACKS! #shorts #mingweirocks
00:36
mingweirocks
Рет қаралды 14 МЛН
Bend The Impossible Bar Win $1,000
00:57
Stokes Twins
Рет қаралды 44 МЛН
The Kids From Florida Aren't Acting
7:58
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 3,4 МЛН
Meanwhile... Florida Man Calls Cops For Help Testing His Meth | Cursed Painting For Sale On eBay
6:56
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 1,2 МЛН
New Rule: The Debbies | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)
6:48
Real Time with Bill Maher
Рет қаралды 1,3 МЛН
Meanwhile... NASCAR Fight | Broccoli Freckles | Cocaine Avocados | Florida's Fat Gator
7:39
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 738 М.
Meanwhile... People Hate Commuting | A Song For The King Cobra
6:53
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 850 М.
Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert Re-enact Their Sketch "Waiters Nauseated By Food"
11:49
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Рет қаралды 3,5 МЛН
Je peux le faire
00:13
Daniil le Russe
Рет қаралды 12 МЛН