Meanwhile… NASCAR Fight | Broccoli Freckles | Cocaine Avocados | Florida’s Fat Gator

Meanwhile… A NASCAR race took an ugly turn after a crash, broccoli crowns are the new trending makeup tool, authorities found a massive shipment of cocaine hiding inside avocados, and an overweight alligator in Florida has been put on a diet.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[@LincolnWorld]

Some people steal a tiny eagle card holder. Some steal top secret documents and then refuse to give them back. About half the country doesn't seem to see a difference.

[@asynchronicity]

It's all the same if you're brain damaged 🤷

[@user-ly8ft2wb1c]

Touché!

[@mariekastler5391]

30something % Remember to VOTE!

[@ikillmelol6969]

Presidents have gotten away with much worse, Nixon wasn't the only crook.

[@amyjackson8725]

maga is NOWHERE NEAR "half"!!!!! They are a TINY MINORITY. Only about 25% of the 168 million registered voters are republican, and about a third of THOSE are maga, at most maybe 10 million.

[@primordial_platypus]

It would be funny if the next dinner he is invited to everyone has a place holder in its stand except him where it is just laid on the table.

[@56nickrich]

Good one platypus! 😂

[@flackstar007]

That would make for a great story.

[@lillia2479]

That would be hilarious. 😂

[@bwenluck9812]

But---Evie did it, lol....

[@radiationking9398]

"No problem, I brought one from home." lol

[@alphabrainwave]

Secret Service: Excuse me, Mrs. Colbert. Why did you put that name place holder in your pocketbook? Evie: It had my name on it. Secret Service: (pauses, listening to earpiece) It checks out.

[@corpsecoder_nw6746]

omg I didn't think about it that way

[@angelikalindenau943]

❤

[@lashadi1445]

*perfection* 🤌 *chef's kiss*

[@bobtrask2217]

Oh, I would totally be using the "Janet Yellen told me to" as an affirmative defense.

[@PitFriend1]

I thought the Most Florida award would go to their legislature that tackled the important issue of being able to buy a 15 liter bottle of wine.

[@j10001]

It’s a highly competitive award. Loads of well-qualified entries.

[@IvanKosta-dv5mw]

That bottle would need to be rolled out on wheels like a canon. Didn’t cognac used to be sold like that as a show piece ? You could swivel tilt it to pour !? And why on earth would there be a limit on bottle size to begin with when there was no limit on quantity ?

[@leavingitblank9363]

Amusing how they keep referring to a bottle. You know damn well it's a BOX.

[@h7opolo]

1:59 in Yellen we trust. don't fret, Stephen. no foul.

[@pennygleeson5029]

Best. Guac. EVER !!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@rikkiechambers4959]

Evie did it 😂😂😂 lmao and the nascar bit was extra funny too .. great meanwhile !

[@chriswilliam7282]

Stephen seeing the mini fig and immediately thinking "✨shiney✨ I want" is very relatable! 💯

[@davesky538]

Gator got the meats! Arby's should use the gator in it's advert!😂

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

Evie did it !! 😂

[@charlenezevelykirby481]

Thats my girl!

[@railrodemike]

The USMC definition of S.T.E.A.L. To strategically transfer equipment to alternative locations. Quote from "The Fat Electrician."

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

😂😂😂

[@pennygleeson5029]

👏👏👏🤣

[@Error_404-F.cks_Not_Found]

Nice! 😂😂

[@a.williams-mccray4483]

I'm gonna use this from now on. 😂

[@HippieSoul77]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@KPVFarmer]

Thank you good Sir. Your morals and values are beyond reproach! If others were more like you the world would be a better and more hilarious place!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇦

[@ChainReactionsProductions]

Another eloquently delivered tongue twister Meanwhile preamble! Some of us love it, some of us hate it, but regardless I’m always here for it.

[@richard1472]

I just skip it.

[@jkap34]

​@@richard1472 what's the point in watching meanwhile, then? It's like watching Seth Meyers closer look without watching his preamble to the title block for the segment.

[@richard1472]

@@jkap34 My choice, okay? And Seth Meyers is annoying. He talks through his nose.

[@BaconMaker1]

@@richard1472 everyone is entitled to make the wrong choice.

[@vsznry]

for the actual "headlines" an commentary ? lolol @@jkap34

[@malvavisco7149]

Alligators are fierce apex predators, but mankind now knows their weakness: HAM

[@benn454]

I mean, that's also OUR weakness

[@sethescope]

​@@benn454 it's amazing how much we have in common with other species, isn't it? the natural world is incredible 😂

[@archive881]

They already have a taste for "long pig" (humans).

[@edwardlulofs444]

I am coming to appreciate and like the Meanwhile segment more and more. Thank you Mr Colbert. Lately I have been watching your episodes several times each because they are contributing so much to my life. Your work is at a peak. Keep up the good work. I believe that you are helping America and the world so much right now. You are certainly helping my life. 😀👍

[@karinwolf3645]

Mine, too! I can't sleep when you are on vacation. 🤔😦😭💋💖💙🌵👵🐺🖖

[@bebelechekid]

Amen to that 🎉

[@celinadavies]

'Meanwhile' was so so good tonight Stephen 🌟🌟🌟 🥰 British Columbia 🇨🇦

[@kathrynryches6660]

He needs to come back and visit our province again, 2010 was a long time ago!

[@S.Shea2432]

The Aligator on Ozempic. Lmao!! 🤣🤣

[@tesswinker2482]

There's actually a pig mascot named Ozempig!

[@DaHaiZhu]

Fat Gators can't run as fast. There is a logic to their madness

[@mad_borden]

Treasury Secretary goes: "Just take it". Me with debt: "I vibe with this chick." Can we get the Tubman 20 sooner though?

[@bettyjones113]

Only if the $20 can’t have Wilma Mankiller on the face. I think we need a Cherokee woman. The irony to replace AJ with a Cherokee

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Sacré bleu! Those coffees and croissants will be cold by the time it gets there! 😂

[@yudithcaron8053]

Coffee temperature is one way to determine the winner in case of a tie.

[@marcpeterson1092]

@@yudithcaron8053Lowest time and lowest temperature wins.

[@badbiker666]

The next time I sleep on a makeshift bed, something I have to throw together on an emergency basis, I now know to call it a "flunky bunk." Thanks to Stephen for providing that terminology.

[@diembepoet]

"The stowaway's flunky-bunk that is the news."😆

[@amyreynolds3619]

Best. Meanwhile. Ever. Stephen. Colbert. 😅 😂

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Don Jr. is going to be short on avocados. 🥑 👃

[@NewMessage]

Road Rage? Heck, maybe my Dad WOULD be good at that sport!

[@bettygreenhansen]

Somewhere in Florida there is a 1000-pound alligator who not only is not afraid of humans, it associates us with food!

[@charlenezevelykirby481]

and is gonna be a bit hungrier maybe.

[@davidlundquist1979]

It's charming that you think there's only one.

[@bettygreenhansen]

@@davidlundquist1979 I don’t go swimming in water I cannot see through so I’m safe, don’t worry!

[@cyclewisconsin105]

@@bettygreenhansen Best bet all around to be safe is to stay out of Florida.

[@bettygreenhansen]

@@cyclewisconsin105 I love and prefer Florida without tourists.

[@rebelalliance171]

Cocaine Avocados is a good name for a band

[@CD_Character]

🎶Avocados from Colombia 🎶

[@Cancun771]

An asparagus raft is the preferred side dish to a pork sword. Not many people know that. *Also **_Gator on Ozempic_** is my new boomer garage band name.*

[@jojoone1099]

People get testy on diets, so how will a crocodile/alligator do when it feels under fed? 👀

[@wharris123184]

Thievin’ Colbert 😂

[@Eyeball_Heroin]

Absolutely NASCAR should add road rage. 😤 except the copy cats that see it, will repeat it on our highways.

[@lydienardon729]

In France the hospitality and restauration workers are never on strike in France : and we are the only one to work 39 hours a week (it 's 35 Hours a week on every other jobs). Our night time does not have a financial compensation... That's why so many workers in Restaurant and hotels a

[@RickDeevey]

Maybe you can get a presidential pardon for the gewgaw theft, Bilbo.

[@eulbart]

Oh the irony... The writers kidding about strikes...

[@jturtle5318]

Appeasing the local alligator so he doesn’t eat your dog or snatch your kid out of the yard makes perfect sense to me.

[@5m0k3y9]

But that is totally the wrong thing to do! The gator will come to lose all fear of people and dogs if they are with them when feeding the gator. Which leads the gator to hang around the area, You cannot see it most of the time. get too close to the shore and it will eat ANYTHING it can grab and pull under the water!

[@therealhiesenberg2731]

Someone though the same thing about a mountain lion in one of my old neighborhoods. The mountain lion ended up eating a teenager.

[@RetroGameSpacko]

I miss the covid shows with Evie laughing in the background

[@MauroNigro]

the paris bit is nice. because in paris they have workers rights, a minimum wage ad a civil country.all things unknown in the US. :-)

[@cheska2024]

'Most Florida' says so much in just 2 words.

[@MsLyricLee]

"Best Guac Ever." 🤣🤣🤣

[@oliviaarnest5536]

The Whitehouse needs a new official holiday; Borrowers' Amnesty Day in which anything taken can be returned with impunity. It'll be kind of like reverse trick or treating, leave a box out on your porch and your things reappear.

[@michaelsantarlas17]

Sharp! Sounds like Steven had the guacamole dip

[@lisaaustin8150]

I guess we’re gonna act like we forgot about Tony Stewart’s “road rage?”😂

[@cookies1171]

It had your name on it!!😂

[@danieljob3184]

People who think they could compete in NASCar lose their lunch just watching Bathurst! 😎🏁

[@nelliekenny9630]

Not wrong 😂

[@olorin4317]

Don’t put the gator on a diet, put it in a fryer! They’ve already fattened him up. People starving in the world, but we put our food on diets.

[@dougwalker4944]

love the shout out to nascar..then the slam!!!

[@MattJr4793]

does anyone besides me yell out MEANWHILE during the opening for it 🤣🙌🔥💚

[@lina9535]

Absolutely 👍

[@alvinemaina]

Totally

[@alwood9148]

hahahaa yep

[@ringomylove]

Every time 😂

[@hotmac22]

Yup!😂😂😂😂

[@adb888]

I thought the punchline about the waiters in Paris would be, "Of course, the real challenge was getting across Paris without stepping in dog shit."

[@PollyWillNenKeks]

Background knowledge from Europe: If you let a French breakfast cool for 30 minutes, it becomes a Dutch breakfast.😇

[@liamwalsh4008]

Da bekommst du keinen Keks. Es tut mir Leid.

[@PollyWillNenKeks]

perfect french, nice

[@liamwalsh4008]

@@PollyWillNenKeks Mais oui, je parle toujours parfait de Français, certainement. Uhh... Baguette, Arc de Triomphe, le French toast, etc. Fransk er i sagens natur latterligt, det ved vi alle. 👍

[@user-lb1ws4ko5m]

Good luck trying to sneak that back in through the metal detectors and worse, explaining why you have that in the first place! 😂

[@LadySingsTheBooze]

broccoli freckles was the name of my punk band in college.

[@augustconnors260]

I think it's ok to take the place card with the parliamentary logo. I went to a state dinner and kept the name card. Later that year they asked people to return the knifes, forks and spoons with no questions asked. They ended up with teapots, serving platters being returned as well as the above. 😮

[@RadioCamp]

Same quote as @JolieJolie21. Hmmm...

[@Mortthemoose]

😂😂

[@IvanKosta-dv5mw]

That would be some hangry gator ! 🐊

[@JCTiggs1]

MEANWHILE....🎉😊

[@cylentone]

To the NASCAR scene - the Kelce brothers suggested a new NFL rule to Roger Goodell: one hockey-style fight in every football game.

[@rmtab6511]

If Janet Yellen said it was fine then it was fine.

[@brolol3136]

That's so cool 😎☺️ Thanks for the take 💓💯 Hello from Belarus 🇧🇾😇

[@andrewsincek2373]

Colbert, STEAL: Strategic Transfer of Equipment to Alternate Locations

[@AProfColleenBKelly]

PLEASE: Post more of the band on KZbin - they're wonderful. We don't see nearly nearly enough of the band for your international viewers.

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

Best broccoli freckles ever !!

[@mariekastler5391]

"Stowaway's flunky bunk" new standard of excellence for meanwhile!

[@archuleta1000]

Seems like Don Junior‘s been eating a lot of guacamole🤫😳🤣

[@JigInsane]

Nascar + Road Rage = what Mario Kart Go should've been

[@gavincassells7585]

Janet Yellen's husband is the renowned Nobel prize winning economist George Akerlof, famous for the Market for Lemons paper! (it's about selling cars, not lemons)

[@user-qj1hq2qu8c]

😂😂 greatest guac ever!

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Stephen Stealing president’s tie is gold😂

[@mellocello187]

That was a joke. They weren’t wearing ties.

[@jeffpoteau4357]

And the alligator washes it all down with a diet coke.

[@WoundedEgo]

Colbert is great at his job.

[@migmit]

Meanwhile starts at 3:43

[@patrickpryor6962]

Stowaway’s flunky bunk. Y’all come up with the best names for new bands.

[@NAjustlikeatrumptroll]

Don't worry Stephen. You could declassify the card holder with your mind …

[@carbine090909]

"Flunkie bunk of news" 😂😂😂😂❤❤

[@stevekastama1014]

It would be awesome if they acted out a live demonstration of one of the Meanwhile introductions:”But sometimes…”

[@gastonneal724]

I used to feed this gator, at lunch. In Clearwater FL. Cheeseburgers😂😂

[@vintagethings9187]

Unfortunately the large amount of cocaine in the avocados substantially reduced the monetary value of the shipment 😮

[@greenthumb8266]

Ol’ Sticky-fingers Steven !

[@lifeofnanaa]

I swear the broccoli freckles was a thing like 3 years ago already 😅

[@sonsaregurley8239]

Hey snitches get...😅😅

[@GiGi-lg1dl]

I see you, and I raise you: cocaine avocados aren’t that much more expensive than regular avocados

[@sethescope]

my favorite thing about this comment is I haven't finished the video yet so I get to imagine what fresh chaos unleashes in the five minutes I have left to prompt a comment like this 😂

[@catherinephonevalencia2937]

Thank you Mr. Colbert. You are a bright light in what seems to be an increasingly dark world. "Best guac Ever" made me fall off the sofa! Thanks again!

[@leanoramccarthy7726]

How dare u snitch on Janet Yellin, or, most importantly, Evie! Evie is an angel among mortals and her hair smells like cinnamon! 😮🫢😤🤬 🤣🤣

[@lashendawest7509]

Good morning stephen colbert fans

[@SolRC]

@6:13 your punching down, Steven, its recorded for history.

[@dielaughing73]

Oh, you really got him there

[@deamontube30]

The iron bank winked and said you could have gold.

[@mszoomy]

Thanks for the giggles

[@MausMasher54]

I always asked before it disappeared....

[@SpaceForceCommander]

The Florida alligator can lose 400 pounds by being delicious. (And yes, it does taste like chicken.)

[@lynnhettrick7588]

Yep. Can confirm.

[@TanyaStingley]

Amazing how flexible your morals are.

[@nancymorton5636]

I love Colbert!! The anti-crime logo on the racecar was PRICELESS!! MEANWHILE, Steven makes it all come together and feel OK when the day closes. Ahh, thank you, Steven!

[@aremoreequal]

The White House should sell those things in the gift shop or something.

[@patrickperkins5817]

Secret service is on the way

[@GoldenEdgedGreg]

Never thought the intros could get better, yet here we are mere deckhands blown away by another incredible true story from the captain of comedy himself!

[@CODDE117]

I would never give it back

[@susanfrancis5471]

Now you have to go to Confession Stephen. Then you can keep it.😊

[@user-zb7uh2ob1r]

Something tells me the White House expects people to take those little card holders.

[@aremoreequal]

I was waiting for "Men In Black" (not the Trademarked kind, the kind the trademarked kind were based off of) show up to reclaim that name card holder.

[@thetay24]

The Meanwhile intro would be better if it had some animation of what he’s saying to go with it

[@MistressOnyaCox]

😂 it had your name on it it's yours 😅

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Gotta love bro Stephen got some guts

[@jillscott4029]

I am now genuinely curious about what effect Ozempic would have on alligators.