Meanwhile… Heinz Targets Chicago | Uggs And Crocs Thriving | Rat Birth Control | $20k Wine Club

Meanwhile… Heinz wants Chicago residents to put ketchup on their hot dogs, ugly shoes are more popular than ever, New York is trying a new approach to pest control, and a fancy wine club requires a steep membership fee and a vibe check.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[@possiblyadog]

New York Pest control? I thought Trump was already on trial

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

Clever ...

[@amyreynolds3619]

​@user-yn7yo1co3k , yes it was. Thanks for acknowledging that. Awaiting your response. 😅😂

[@gerade-aus]

If I could give you a quintillion likes, I would.

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

@@gerade-aus How's about saving a couple thousand for the rest of us?

[@dash-underscore_name.]

🥁

[@kitcobain444]

As a Chicago born and raised female, avid reader, cat and donut loving, wine and rat hating, registered nurse, pidgeon and goat enthusiast, I 💯 related to this particular "Meanwhile". Hilarious! 😂😂😂

[@MrVovansim]

Yeah, but how many pieces of flair do you have on your Crocs?

[@kitcobain444]

@MrVovansim dude, I am a nurse. My 'flair' is composed of bodily fluids and other gross items, lol! I can't wear the ones with holes unless my socks are made of plastic 🙃!

[@Mortthemoose]

​@@kitcobain444 Ohhhh 🤢

[@Seldomane]

Small world, ditto :) Oh and either ketchup on hotdog or mustard/mayo. Peppers? Hell nah.

[@singingsunflower9000]

​@@MrVovansim its funny cause where i live crocs are popular among nurses

[@treetopjones737]

When people see someone wearing Crocs: "Ugg!"

[@MsTyrie]

Someday we'll argue that rats get contraception but women have to what?

[@jkap34]

Carry to term even if unviable. Thank you Trump! /sarcasm

[@amyreynolds3619]

Rats aka Repuklicans aka white Christian men and women?

[@mellocello187]

Men, meanwhile….🚶🏽

[@AmusementLabs]

How Crocs has managed to survive this long is baffling.

[@RH-wj4rz]

Oh, thank you.

[@casscart1]

Nurses

[@jarls5890]

I believe their natural breeding ground is in hospitals and healthcare in general....

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Chefs

[@___beyondhorizon4664]

I recalled my former Australian colleague wore red crocs with her black yoga leggings, she looked like a clown 🤡

[@artel6225]

Congrats Team Colbert! For featuring T Blanchard: 5-time Grammy winner, composer of 40+ film scores.

[@afrolund80]

The creators of Idiocracy chose crocs as the shoes of the stupid future. Because they thought the shoes looked so horrible. That no one in their right mind would ever wear them. They were right. I live in Minnesota and see people standing at the train station in their crocs.... all.... year.... round! 🤪

[@Susie_Floozie]

Best-crafted introduction EVER. That thrilled my sensibilities all the way to the tweaker's spackle-plank.

[@patricialewis8307]

We all live for Meanwhile ❤😂

[@AIvey-qs1so]

I can never unhear, "tweaker-spackle-plank" 😆

[@Mortthemoose]

Taken directly from one of trump's "speeches" 😂

[@theyurireviewer]

Enjoyed the Jan Van Eyck triptych reference 🥰

[@blakes7207]

Stephen Colbert for president

[@dewimatthews6037]

The Meanwhile intro writers are superb, matched by Stephen's vocal agility.

[@patricialewis8307]

Love The Band And ALL Guest Performers ❤

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

*OMG, Terrance Blanchard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him so much.* 🥰😍🥰😍🥰 *Wow, what a blessing to see him vibing with the late show band!!!*

[@Dharmarenee]

Terrence Blanchard a genuis.

[@StarlahMutiny]

OMG JAN VAN EYCK REFERENCE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THIS MADE MY ENTIRE YEAR

[@Barqu3ntine]

Haha me too! I'm from Ghent ^_^

[@InksplatOops]

The pigeon! 😂 It must be so confused, wondering what happened.

[@DanieltheTruebadour]

That intro never gets old - not to me, anyway. Occasional genius, even. Kudos to Stephen and his terrific stable of writers -stable geniuses -for keeping it up.

[@DissectGibberish]

I am continually in awe at how Stephen can say those complicated and tongue-twisting sentences that preface the "MEANWHILE" segment. Kudos!

[@JadeValour]

Agreed 👍

[@user-xe9cm8hv8n]

Idk, who writes intros for meanwhile, but they are crazy good.!

[@eschwarz1003]

Terence Blanchard!!!!! the legend

[@Cactina]

I've said it once and I'll say it again- is someone saving these Meanwhile intros and will the collection be published as a book?!?!

[@chezmoi42]

Or maybe sold at the airport story dispensers?

[@DiandraStarShine]

yes, Sir!!, Mr. Terrence!🙌 & tysm, Mr. Stephen C.!, for making certain Mr. T got his flowers, while still sharing a world with us..🌎

[@Grammz67]

I NEEDED my dose of Meanwhile

[@kotkaconforza]

Terence Blanchard is a big get for the band. He's also a great film composer.

[@vintagethings9187]

"...spackle plank of news..." Every one a Rembrandt!

[@Lynn.Panadero4242]

4:48 Years ago, I was looking for high capacity staples to put in my high capacity stapler. It staples up to 75 pages. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the staples at the office supply store “Staples.” Even more, that’s here I purchased the high capacity stapler.

[@dianewilliams1125]

😮😮😮😅😅😅

[@leavingitblank9363]

Meanwhile, Staples also doesn't carry the staples for my mini stapler.

[@matthewkasper2202]

So, the cat story, its so much cuter then that. Those cats are considered to be living assets to the government. They have free access to all government buildings and land. They walk in on high ranking meetings and lay on the desk. They sunbathe in palace gardens. They have their own staff to feed them and take care of them. There are like 12 cats. They have been spayed, vaccinations and all that, so once these guys die the law is no more but even when this government is voted out, by whatever means, the next government can not change anything about these cats. They have these rights no matter who is in power.

[@vintagethings9187]

A lesson in the last sentence there for trump I think..... Thank you for the lovely cat story anyway, if you are a trump believer!

[@smittywerbenjaegermanjensen]

Cats? I think they are spies ...

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

Cats rule ...

[@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive]

And also, never pet a cat's belly. They aren't asking you to scratch it, they are stretching. If you scratched my belly when I stretched, I'd freak out and punch you too! Weirdo!

[@brokenglassshimmerlikestar3407]

And when cats flip over and show you their bellies, it's not an invitation to rub lol. You can look but don't touch! Like in da strip club

[@bleukat]

Previously with Krispy Kreme, one could could only get one at a time. You had to choose either Krispy OR Krem-y until now.

[@neebs929]

Best meanwhile intro ever. Legit lol.

[@BluntJoint]

Thanks Stephie, may you forever give us laughter

[@cass_p]

Oof, don't give delayed passengers copies of "The Lottery" - you'll give them ideas.

[@kconway2263]

I hate The Lottery! I was forced to read it twice, once in HS, once in college. Still scarred.

[@leavingitblank9363]

@@kconway2263 Me too! Why do they make us read that? Every child in this country. And I don't even know if there's a moral to it. Don't be a follower? I remember the story, I remember no lesson being taught from it.

[@richardelliott8352]

shout out to trumpet players , a physically challenging instrument to play in the high registers that everyone demands.

[@CraigMader]

A height best described as glory...

[@DanieltheTruebadour]

The goat reminds me of a cartoon: Two fellows stand behind a deli counter. One is named Bob, smiling, handling a knife and a sharpening rod, Next to him, Chuck Is just standing there, expressionless. In the case beneath them are the deli goods, with one empty bowl, labeled "GROUND CHUCK." Wouldn't swear to it, but the cartoonist was probably Gahan Wilson.

[@dianewilliams1125]

Im living thru some very hard times right now personally. I hate waking up to face another horrible day. Insted of Flipping on my laptop to read depressing emails ,i went right to utube and low and behold "meanwhile " was staring me in the face! God bless Stephen and his writers, you started my day with not only a smile but a full belly laugh! Love to you all and PEACE! BTW the band is great,sweet ax louis! ❤❤❤😊😊😊

[@Mortthemoose]

Me too 🫂💐

[@leavingitblank9363]

Just to add to the injustice, a porn bot copied your post and reposted it, where it now sits at the top of the comments because it has 164 likes.

[@MarcKloos]

1:35 good pronunciation of Jan van Eyck

[@tuckerbowen4626]

3:40 "a runaway goat _somehow_ made its way to the ledge of a bridge" you clearly know absolutely nothing about goats, do you, Stephen?

[@rileyfuckingrifle]

LOL. The writers don't.

[@kitcobain444]

Well, tbf it was a bridge, not a mountain 😂😂😂 but I see your point!

[@davewilson4493]

That brings back memories of a sheep rescue I assisted a sheep in. While walking back with a friend from a caving trip, we noticed a sheep which had walked out along a very narrow ledge with a tiny bit of grass on it which started at ground level at a large cave entrance in the form of a sloping-bottomed pit, and carried on around above the descending floor until it was ~30ft above ground level with no more ledge in front of it and no way to turn around. Thinking we should do something, we found suitable belays to rig ropes to, and I went over the edge of the pit trying to descend far enough in front of the sheep to not scare it but be close enough to grab it and let my friend lower me to the floor. Just when I got level with it, it got spooked, jumped vertically up in the air, spun around, and somehow managed to lend back on the ledge and run to safety. I get the feeling that if I hadn't been there it would probably have just stayed there until it fell off, but given that it clearly could get off by itself but didn't seem to realize that it could, I almost wondered if I should have left it there for the sake of the gene pool.

[@BuildinWings]

He forgot one detail of the Chicago dog - Vienna Beef dog. Sabrett's is an excellent stand-in for that, you just really want a strong SNAP.

[@ebethlouise2201]

And the slice of cucumber! Isn’t that a thing?

[@BuildinWings]

@@ebethlouise2201 Some places, yep. I like it!

[@JigInsane]

As you can find in any respectable Chicago hot dog joint is a sign that says "NK17 - No Ketchup after the age of 17"

[@chrisrj9871]

It's probably because your pizzas are 99% sauce according to Jon Stewart, so you have to have propaganda against catsup to save on tomato paste.

[@JigInsane]

@@chrisrj9871 Jon Stewart can go to where the sun don't shine. Lol. Nah, seriously. We have more than deep dish, it's just what we're known for. Rather than that floppy paper parading as a pizza slice he likes.

[@davidlundquist1979]

I absolutely hated ketchup as a kid. I have no idea what's supposed to be appealing about it. I'll take Chicago pizza over New York style any day though.

[@guitarcd]

@@chrisrj9871 It's true; Chicago has the best hot dogs, and one of the most unfortunate things ever to be "not a pizza." (But don't tell them that)

[@BuildinWings]

@@chrisrj9871 Stu-Beef never had a slice when he said that, and then recanted on-air.

[@dactylntrochee]

The opener to this segment is the highlight of every show, IMHO. I think tonight's was stellar. A champ among equals.

[@RenataKleinRK]

I love Lewis’s blue telecaster, wow that’s pretty. Sorry if it’s spelled Louis, I’m not certain.

[@dianewilliams1125]

I'm always checking out what guitar he's playing each night! What a beauty! 🎸 😊😊

[@lindsaypcohn5198]

Expressionist tweaker’s spackle plank of news could describe so many of our outlets

[@R1ckDeckard]

We need more of the bands' performances on KZbin. I'm sure many people would absolutely love to hear more of Mr Cato & Co

[@raeganpagan]

no. we wouldnt. If only there were platforms to search for.... music... on the internet ...that wasn't this channel.

[@cherylmarcuri5506]

My 24 yr old daughter loves her "ugly Crocs". I myself won't wear them. They look and feel creepy.

[@NewMessage]

Heinz comin' out with a popcorn bucket any time soon?

[@DissectGibberish]

EEEWWW! Who needs catsup on their popcorn!

[@krissykrupski4973]

That’s not ketchup. 😐​@@DissectGibberish

[@igorschmidlapp6987]

@@krissykrupski4973 You ought to see the mayo dispenser... you have to tug on it to get it to squirt... ;-P

[@charleshash4919]

Sure! And the delivery openning for the popcorn bucket delivery unit will be placed at urinal height just like the ketchup.

[@Multichick]

2:23 - OMG, what is Heinz thinking? ketchup is blasphemous in chitown. 🤯 They best not try it at Gene & Judes... 🌭🌭 hands, dogs and ketchup will fly.

[@lindaj5492]

Heinz feeding the homeless of Chicago?

[@paulwagner688]

Fire Shut Up In My Bones is an INCREDIBLE work.

[@peterwolf885]

2:16 Boston had their Tea Party, and soon the Chicago River will run red with Heinz, this means war!

[@cannibalbananas]

That was a great Meanwhile intro! Stephen nailed it!

[@lady_draguliana784]

Steven's off-screen activities in Meanwhile Lore is becoming the new Chuck Norris Facts, and I LOVE IT! 🤣

[@OriginalPiMan]

That vibe check is probably just a cover for bigotry.

[@tuckerbowen4626]

probably not healthy to just go assuming that, even if it's almost definitely true

[@benn454]

​@@tuckerbowen4626But how else will he feed his victim complex?

[@anmnou]

As a Belgian, i am very impressed with your pronunciation of "Jan Van Eyck Gent"...really: Well done!

[@mszoomy]

Nothing is better than a KK donut right off the conveyer belt, OMG

[@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive]

Except, you know, real doughnuts that never get on a conveyor belt and aren't made of plastic waste.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

That hot dog is now technically a pizza

[@solvseus]

"Pie"

[@DissectGibberish]

It's something, all right! 😁😁😁

[@tuckerbowen4626]

"Pizza? Now THAT'S a taco!"

[@seileach67]

Wait'll Jon Stewart finds out; he'll go off again LOL...just recently I re-watched a clip of his anti-deep dish rant

[@user-ff8vo1se8v]

A slice 😊

[@richarddelconnor]

As a baby boomer, I must protect the tradition that ketchup goes on hamburgers and mustard goes on a hotdog.

[@nelsaf365]

Jan van Eyke followed by huffing out of a pringles can. That is high brow to low brow in mere seconds. I love the Meanwhile intro.

[@ajdailey3698]

I always enjoy your lead in to "meanwhile". Have you ever wondered what Delusional Donald would have done with this on the teleprompter?

[@dianewilliams1125]

Thank you for that image!😂😂😂

[@fairykitten1]

Dear Stephen, Please publish a book with every Meanwhile introduction you have ever spoken. It would be a fantastic book of pure poetry. I know I would buy it, and so would soooo many folks. Please Please Please!!!

[@redofthewolves]

You're right, the Lottery was the funniest choice here. Great job

[@philoctetes_wordsworth]

3:13 Screw you! I have joint issues, and UGGs or Crocks are the most comfortable shoes I can find. I am wearing UGG slippers, right now!

[@keshiasmith175]

Thank you!!! They're a life saver for me

[@rileyfuckingrifle]

Jibbitz are cool, cope Stephen. 😂

[@vintagethings9187]

Timberland trainer style 'off road' shoes have a tough outer sole but are superbly cushioned!

[@CyclopsWasRight616]

being worried about that goat being up that high is like being worried about a fish trapped in a lake of water

[@viddork]

So, the goat was safely returned to the Slaughter ..... Farm, I guess? (Nothing else comes to mind.)

[@willdickinson4177]

Groundbeef is honestly a pretty cool-sounding last name…

[@SJC49]

Heinz closed down plant in Ontario. Boycotts forced them to reopen a small facility so they could keep the Made in Canada designation. Buy Aylmers.

[@BuildinWings]

If only Hunt's made Ketchup instead of Catsup.

[@Vtarngpb]

For a split second I thought the guy portraying Roger Groundbeef was actually Brad Leone 😂

[@shadrachs.martial2215]

Stephen's on fire

[@noelhutchins7366]

2:33 Chicago-style-hotdog ingredients are for crispy-fried-fish on a bun. A good hotdog just needs to be sizzling-browned on a toasted undersized bun.

[@sharonmassey2923]

"I have lived with several Zen masters, all of them cats." - Eckhart Tolle

[@TwisterTornado]

I have a cat that literally breaks up arguments. No one taught her to do this. She just jumps into the loudest person's lap and shows them affection, until they stop.

[@sharonmassey2923]

@@TwisterTornado Ha! That's great. But being a Zen master would mean that she's the teacher. Arguments would also surely be upsetting her Zen vibe, likely her first priority.

[@ellenrasool-jakhel4132]

MISTER COLBERT YOU GOT IT GOING ON. THE. WHOLE "" BILLY JOEL. CONCERT AT ONCE. IN FULL. THANKS THANKS AND. MO THANKS..PEACE AND ENJOY..😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤

[@merrygangemi]

Absolutely fabulous segment, Steven Colbert! Thanks!

[@cheeseonyomama]

This was a particularly good "meanwhile" haha

[@jandenning6992]

no glove. no love!😂😂😂

[@shadowman7408]

Cerveza Cristal!

[@darrowaajmi9135]

Great musician Terrance, blow that horn!!!

[@dreamway9]

Good on you CBS for your apology. Good on you

[@tabsommer3532]

Love the lottery- Jackson story

[@68caribou]

:: I'm still waiting for a book of every Meanwhile monologues :) ::

[@terryt.1643]

Needed a laugh today, thanks, Steven and Late Night.

[@definitelynotskynet]

Butts to you, buddy. I live in my crocs and I’m millennial who owns a home. That’s thriving in this society. 😎

[@fender42421]

roger groundbeef? CHUCK was right there!!!! Chuck Groundbeef! lol

[@voixdelaraison593]

According to the National Hot Dog Association, Real Men & Women don’t put Ketchup on Hot Dogs. Ketchup is for French fries, Hamburgers, and Tator Tots.

[@xtifr]

And I'm supposed to take the word of people whose job it is to promote tubes of pureed anus-meat!? 😀 Also, "Real Men" (& Women) eat whatever TF they like!😈 That said, I wouldn't put ketchup on a hot dog _myself,_ but I'm not going to kink-shame those weirdos who do! 😀😀

[@LeftyPem]

For gods sake, sell us a book of just the Meanwhile intros. Some of the finest bizarre short form comedy writing ever done.

[@aarondalton5054]

👍 for guest trumpeter Terrance Blanchard !

[@xeroterragoth1866]

You know what they say... you can't spell laughter without slaughter!

[@jackieedmondson8422]

No glove, no love!!! 🤣😂🤣🤣

[@silentcaay]

Chicago hot dogs should have stopped at least 4 toppings ago. They have no room to pretend they're some sort of authority on hot dogs. You have a salad with a meat tube in it, Chicago.

[@BuildinWings]

Anime pfp.

[@mrhines3603]

THE LOTTERY!!! OMG

[@publiusking8004]

💯 no ketchup on a proper dog

[@ladyjatheist2763]

keep your mustard, I'm with Heinz!

[@Mortthemoose]

Not from that street vending urinal .....I mean dispenser, though! 🤢

[@stainlesssteelfox1]

Maybe the goat was actually performing a cunning escape plan.

[@brownkemosabe]

Terence Blanchard is an Icon!!

[@Barqu3ntine]

The Ghent Altar Piece! 😍😍

[@playinglifeoneasy9226]

That goat knew what it was doing

[@playinglifeoneasy9226]

That’s great, I missed it but adore Billy Joel and can’t wait to see this.

[@sjbock]

I've never worn those kind of Crocs but I have many pairs of different colors and styles of Crocs sandals. Very comfortable and indestructible.

[@LGuetz]

Austin library has that story machine & I enjoyed it. Airports have water fountains to fill bottles so not the best joke there.

[@CritRedesign]

So they took the goat to the slaughter house

[@kitcobain444]

😂underrated comment😂

[@ChaoSMyth...]

Yeah spraying birth control everywhere seems like a bad idea