Meanwhile... The Dolphin Clitoris Exists | We Love Watching Our Own Faces On Video Calls

[@mdudegamer]

Stephen's been back in the theater for a while yet I still periodically find myself expecting him to say "Quarantinewhile".

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

I still hear that!

[@ThePixelExpedition]

I still hear it in my head lol

[@That_BIack_Cat]

SAME

[@nomvelogcaleka7018]

I always say it..🤦

[@bitchenboutique6953]

Me too… I think it’s because I still haven’t left my house!

[@ArcaJ]

"Dolphin Clitoris" was the name of my all-girl punk rock band in college. We didn't have many male fans. For some reason they couldn't find us. 🤔

[@eschwarz1003]

Liars

[@LD-qj2te]

Hilarious

[@brielleo2926]

😂😂

[@jalabi99]

@ArcaJ brilliant!

[@waytoobiased]

Good one.

[@AcidSugar1414]

I find myself closing my eyes listening to Stephen do the Meanwhile intro and imagining the items he describes in my head as he goes along. It’s a dangerous game sometimes but other times it’s a pretty neat game 😃

[@FutureCommentary1]

I would like this graphic department to illustrate it and send us the images when they are on vacation. Small bonus segments.

[@Maya_Pinion]

😳

[@jerseygirl5311]

Thanks for the great tip! 😆

[@woulg]

The cool thing about the intro is I think they actually do some research for them, he did one on two subjects I actually know something about and I was really surprised about how niche some of the jokes were. I’m not sure if that’s true for all of them but I hope so. Like for this one I imagine some of those things he said he was scavenging are actually used to make truckasaurus type things hahah or its an in joke in the community or something

[@heyheytaytay]

I feel like Meanwhile needs to be a full 20 min segment. Just cut the musical guest out once a week and give it to us straight in our veins. I NEED IT.

[@alainsavard3680]

💯 percent

[@BlameNixon]

We might get QuarantineWhile soon.

[@numberM4]

I think they make money from the musical guest paying to be there, so I doubt they'd be willing to cut it.

[@whitesandandreef4919]

Yup!!!

[@dkayflowers79]

~" In our new segment we call,,, Vein-While" 😏

[@boblehmann1644]

The best comment I saw about the dolphin clitoris - "Now they're mad they have no hands.".

[@kaileeoram6188]

2:23 The way Stephen smirks and head bounces at the end is everything.

[@RogerHerzler]

The women who burst out cheering for dolphin clitorori. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@tammypalyo3801]

It was me! My millisecond of fame.

[@geekdivaherself]

I think that the dolphin clitoris, much like the human clitoris, is much more likely to be longer than what is seen on the outside. I heard that the human clitoris is 10 mm long including the part on the inside which I believe is split in two around part of the vaginal vestibule, but I'm not as certain about that second part. I do know that the vaginal vestibule is a term that is actually used, though, which cracks me up. Please take off your shoes when entering the vaginal vestibule, please!

[@fionaanderson5796]

@@geekdivaherself 10mm would have to be just the outside part. To reach in and around the vagina would be closer to 10cm.

[@RogerHerzler]

@@tammypalyo3801 a millisecond on Colbert has to be worth at least 15 minutes. 🤣👍🏼

[@sunbunnow]

OMG, that is crazy! My husband is midlife crisis age and he took up skateboarding, skateboarding with our 8 year old son, and shattered his radius and wrist last Saturday. Don’t pick up skateboarding when your in your 40’s!!!

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

If you see me on a Skateboard, it is not intentional!

[@princesssprinklesthecat4192]

I hope he got some good drugs for that

[@sunbunnow]

@@princesssprinklesthecat4192 Not really because of the opiate epidemic. Doctors aren’t as generous with pain meds as they use to me. Which is good and bad. Lol

[@linshanhsiang]

Can't kids also smash themselves up? Just heal faster?

[@napoleonibonaparte7198]

Are male dolphins equally clueless as to its location?

[@Lil_Warrior_Princess]

Most likely.

[@Kim.Miller]

Dolphins routinely have group sex, too. Sex for fun instead of reproduction.

[@Kankudai]

We're not clueless, It's in the spam can, duh.

[@johnniemcbride2772]

I would think they're ignorant of it when they rely on gang rape for sex.

[@bonniejosavland3227]

@@Kim.Miller All men wanting to become dolphins 🐬

[@ChakatStripedfur]

"How narcissistic can one person be?" ~looks at the former president~ You'd be surprised.

[@vilena5308]

I was.

[@123itisnotme]

Indeed Bill Clinton is narcissistic and getting away with his savagery decades later. Unless Ghilane Maxwell squeals before she is " suicided "

[@Iffy350]

@@123itisnotme You should write comedy. You’re clever and witty.

[@joshjaffe1796]

Gotta love Jon teasing the melody from "On Green Dolphin Street"

[@marksmith5206]

Nope, that was Dolphin Dance by Herbie Hancock

[@joshjaffe1796]

Ah shit you got me. Now I'm as pink in the face as a dolphin's clitoris.

[@Victoria-dh9vb]

Who doesn't mostly look at themselves on video calls? Being immediately able to adjust yourself to look less dumb to the other person is basically a super power

[@viddork]

To say nothing of turning yourself into a cat!

[@xpehkto]

That is not a stable strategy, because if everybody else is looking at themself then there is no point in wasting your attention on your look.

[@lisagulick4144]

@@viddork Or not being able to turn the filter off if your kid does it to you...somewhere on YT is a vid of a Zoom call between a lawyer and a judge, with the poor lawyer in "cat" mode and unable to figure out how to change it!

[@viddork]

@@lisagulick4144 That's what I was referring to. It still makes me laugh.

[@lisagulick4144]

@@viddork I laughed too, but I felt for the poor guy. His kid knew more about Zoom settings than he did! Ah, we "olds" and our tenuous grasp of modern tech... 🤣

[@cupcakex]

My poor sister Dolphins 🐬 ... They can’t reach it!

[@BackwardTravisty]

Sadly, many older male dolphins are skeptical that it even exists or that it does what's reported. Sad.

[@RHCole]

They get help from other dolphins, who often use their fins to rub on them. It was in the article.

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

@@RHCole Ah. I see one of my fellow Jackals is here from the other side of the tracks in Seth's neighborhood as well.

[@MrJimheeren]

There was a news story a couple years ago here in the Netherlands about the zoo keepers in the aquarium park who rubbed off the male dolphins to help them relax. Quite smart if you ask me

[@RHCole]

@@MrJimheeren There was a Penthouse article about that from the 70's...

[@mariekastler5391]

By "like humans" do they mean that male dolphins can't find it without instruction; and, once found, won't leave it alone till whacked upside the head? Asking for a friend.

[@RankinMsP]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@frappalina]

I love you

[@BackwardTravisty]

Male dolphins are shocked! "We had no idea it was so easily accessible. Those of us that though such a thing could be possible thought it was located deeper inside. This changes everything!"

[@kampfire.]

We all still won't really bother much with it === we just don't care== male dolphin view point

[@Jason918114]

I think you are confusing the clitoris with the g spot, homie.

[@anic5805]

@@kampfire. Hmmm... maybe a hermit, introverted-type male dolphin wouldn't care! 😁

[@lesleyghostdragon3149]

The Master of Meanwhile sculpts his subjects, "Grecian Colossus"..."Bootleg Truckasaurus"... Hey...! Wait a measly minute! This Meanwhile was over waaayyy too soon. I mean, really...If the censors allowed clitoral dolphin spam, what would they have possibly cut!?!? 🤨😆

[@AtariEric]

The foreskin?

[@lisagulick4144]

@@AtariEric Next "Marinewhile": Male dolphins are found to have foreskins. Just wait, those scientists haven't finished their experiments yet! The following "Marinewhile": Divers come upon a dolphin _bris._

[@IAmAlgolei]

I love staring at my own image during video meetings. The slight delay makes it seem like it's almost another person, and yet at the same time it's the only image on the screen I can make react the way I want. It's like playing with a very realistic puppet. 🎎

[@mattrobs]

Have you seen Swan Song?

[@IAmAlgolei]

@@mattrobs Am I in it?

[@mattrobs]

@@IAmAlgolei What was I thinking, of course you wouldn’t like it

[@cupcakex]

Whoa! Are you truly saying it took a group of nerdy science guys a long time to find it? NOOO... 😮 Surely not.

[@RHCole]

[Joke Killer Mode Activated] Nah, they knew dolphins had a clitoris, they just weren't sure that it functioned like Human clits do.

[@tiffanysmith8460]

I got it cupcakes … very funny too, I might add. 😉❤️

[@iChillypepper]

Nothing says midlife crisis like a middle aged person skateboarding, except maybe rollerblading

[@michaelhughes9553]

A meanwhile that’s only 2:48?! Come on man… I need this!

[@bonniejosavland3227]

This! ⬆️

[@disorder93]

Seems like they cut something. I’m not sure but that cut to the audience at the end seems weird.

[@Hundo_Mo]

I look at myself during Zoom meetings to make sure my lazy eye doesnt clock off from work early 😅

[@sqmotorsports9230]

Really adds something to the Monty Python Spam sketch

[@timothydoremus4252]

"...Wonderful Spam, wonderful Spam!"

[@leogama3422]

It was a viking delicacy people say

[@JohnDoe-jh5yr]

Goes well with baked beans.

[@timothydoremus4252]

@@JohnDoe-jh5yr "The beans are off today!"

[@Lucius1958]

@@timothydoremus4252 "Could I 'ave a Spam instead of the baked beans, then?"

[@laalaa99stl]

This was a really short Meanwhile. I wonder what got cut? 🤔

[@drsingingeagle]

- Probably more VAGINE-WHILE.

[@leeeastwood6368]

the male dolphin rolled over and went to sleep?🤣🤣🤣

[@andrewparnell5566]

It was kinda short. It was a Weewhile.

[@dangerousfables]

Cyborgazm took some of its time

[@eschwarz1003]

Saw sci article on the dolphins; there was more about how the structure of clit evolved actual for pleasure and Evo parallels to humans supposedly prompting research relevance. This got cut likely

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

Dolphin clitoris... Not really the information I felt I needed to know. 😆

[@liamnehren1054]

loved that narcissism joke, it brought back the feels of the word.

[@NewMessage]

Well, that explains all the giggling and squealing, I guess.

[@EndeavorsDnB]

I despise watching my face in video calls, DESPISE IT!

[@QUICKBOOKS1]

I do it just to see if my lighting is correct.

[@margoelizabethmiller]

You can hide your image from yourself

[@Mi_Pi]

I actually find I can respond better when looking at myself instead of colleagues on Zoom.

[@TahtahmesDiary]

I knew I was too old to take up skating when I was 12! Who out there actually risked it at an older age my god! And why do you insist on making the rest of us look bad?! 🤣💜

[@nataschavisser573]

I quite skateboarding when I was 12 or so since I was getting tired of the deathly terror I experienced why whizzing down our street. Perhaps if I kept at is, I would have been inured to the terror but I can't imagine taking it up with a fully developed frontal cortex and mature risk assessment processes.

[@coreyfulton520]

Me too 😂

[@M0oranshi]

30 Rock was onto something The best undercover 'Hello Fellow Younglings!' - steve buscemi, while carrying a skateboard He knew the juice to immortal life and we thought it was a joke

[@casperbetz1949]

Ah, that explains the bottlenose.

[@joblessbum7]

I look foward to his monologue everynight

[@ryandosch2698]

1:53 Ah yes, SPAM: Suspicious Parts of Anonymous Mammals

About the dolphins - this came up in Season 2 of the Scandinavian crime/mystery series "Beforeigners" where the police were investigating some Jack the Ripper-style murders. :) So apparently this information was known to some people earlier. :)

[@Hyperbolic_G]

Pretty sure this segment was meant to inform younger male viewers about human females in a TV safe way

[@MathJudson]

dolphin dance 🎹🎶 quick wit it, Jon

[@MrxPx91]

The first headline hit me like a ton of bricks. I broke my collarbone falling of a skateboard when I was 18.

[@alainsavard3680]

More meanwhile please. 😀

[@bubbles3161]

Meanwhile: Ray Epps was taken off the FBI investigation list when he clearly was on video with audio telling citizens they needed to enter the Capitol the day before and on the day the Capitol was entered. Another unnamed was on a tower with a mega phone telling people to move forward and enter the Capitol. The late show is entertainment and is controlled by foreign assets who have been spreading propaganda using MSM and late shows as the follow up to the propaganda spewing from MSM. You people are idiots, every last one of you for believing a late show over facts which will be presented and will cause these monsters who hold the highest ranks of government to back off because they know there case is weak. And we know they are responsible for Jan 6 (what ever you idiots want to call it.).

[@Labor_Jones]

*_"It is much more psychologically appropriate to assume that you are the enemy, and that it is your weakness and insufficiencies that are damaging the world. Then to assume Saint-like goodness on the part of you and your party, and to pursue the enemy you are inclined to see everywhere."_* ....___ Jordan Peterson

[@marksmith5206]

John playing a little Dolphin Dance at just the right time.

[@laureltown9929]

Love you Stephen Colbert💕 Thanks! 😂👏👏👏💖

[@oboecoe]

I feel like there was a missed joke about male scientists being able to find the dolphin's clitoris but not a woman's. Oh well...

[@MK-285]

Gotta love when the set up for Meanwhile is longer than the actual segment itself

[@melbatoast667]

Oh good, straight to it! Not three minutes of him talking to Jon.

[@TraceyRolandelli]

Love this show 💖💖💖

[@bubbles3161]

It's fake news and MSM and the late shows has the same message. Take the jab that doesn't protect you and hate your country. It's complete bullshit !

[@TraceyRolandelli]

@@bubbles3161 so stop watching on tv and on here. You’ve made over a thousand comments on this channel?

[@kevinfager.]

“It’s dolphin clitoris! It’s DOLPHIN CLITORIS!” ~Charlton Heston, Soylent EeeEEEee

[@TheCoolCookieKitchen]

Somebody needs to make a montage of your meanwhile introductions

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

And all this time I thought my dolphin was faking orgasm

[@mariekastler5391]

Winner🐬👝🎉

[@eaglestdogg]

I thought you died last year John McAfee! Should probably stop having sex with cetaceans though, it's kinda fucked up.

[@leetNightshade]

As a Miata owner, thank you for the reference. 😂 ...heyy, my Miata isn't a rust bucket. Yet. How dare you! 😜

[@justadad6677]

Always said, people do need to be a bit narcissistic, how else can you share love for others.

[@theseinstrumentals]

What weird research they do in science lol 🤨

[@Maliceah]

"Truck-asaurus" got me. Those intros are so epic.

[@ImperfectionistGaming]

I took up electric skateboarding when the pandemic started back in the summer of 2020 and it was the best thing ever! I was 27 so I took it super easy. Just 20 minutes on there had my heart racing from adrenaline and it was a great way to make short trips to the post office, etc. It's incredibly fun and leaves you in a great mood. Good for your body and good for your mind. You can do it just watch alot of fundamentals videos before you get on the board, spend time with the board on carpet learning how to step on, take it slow when you start outside, and limit yourself to 20 minutes everyday for the first 2 weeks so it doesn't become overwhelming

[@gus.smedstad]

27 is pretty young for a midlife crisis.

[@ImperfectionistGaming]

@@gus.smedstad oh snap this was only for mid life crisis people? Woops sorry I thought they meant like people who were past teenage ages lol well I'm sure there's some people who could use the info I posted. Literally all my friends who are my age said they were too old to take it up lol

[@gus.smedstad]

@@ImperfectionistGaming - First of all, r/woosh. Second, the joke actually works pretty well with how you posted about it. You "took it easy" because you were at the ripe old age of 27? Your presumably late-20's friends also think they're "too old" to learn a physical skill? Man, young people are getting old really early these days.

[@lauraanne5175]

Im in my 40s and started rollerskating 2 years ago and YES, it does help

[@clarencegoddard6527]

How does one differentiate appearance insecurity from narcissism ?

[@Greenbambu78]

Ahahahaha… nothing wrong with occasionally narcissistic to keep us from becoming totally drunk on it 🤣🤣🤣

[@Herowebcomics]

So dolphins can feel plesure much like human females can? Awesome! You've got some work ahead of you male dolphins!

[@mecha-sheep7674]

If you read the article or know a few thing about the social organisation of dolphin, you will guess that male dolphins are probably not the main actors of this...

[@lovelessbadger7197]

Ooo, meanwhile, as fresh as it gets!

[@Thessik73]

"Bootleg Truckasaurus" made me lol.

[@TakaComics]

People looking themselves in video calls: I look good! ;) Me looking at myself in video calls: Do I look normal functioning adult? O.O I'll have to check again in 10 seconds...

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

My boyfriend fought back in midlife by skateboarding. Well, longboarding actually. He doesn't have the balance and coordination for the shorter skateboard lol. B This was before I met him. Told me about how he fell and broke ribs, then had to skate back to his car😂😂😂😂 (Maybe I shouldn't laugh, but we've been together a year now, and it is TOTALLY HIM😉)

[@billbob7695]

need my dose of meanwhile!

[@rocketgruntquang6975]

If it's topical, it's Meanwhile!

[@eduardoribeiro383]

How come he didn't pick on Goop in this ONE!!!????!!!!

[@3slicessenpai]

"Finding spiritual meaning and fighting off midlife crisis with skateboarding" is the whole point of "SK8 - Infinity"

[@barbaramedlock4337]

dolphins relate to people we are one on one love the best

[@Seldomane]

Covid never made me respect insects so much before, how they work together...

[@christophermerlot3366]

I just turned 50 in October. Time to take up break dancing. Electric boogaloo!

[@scottcampbell9515]

Marinewhile is a "sub" category. I see what you did there.

[@MG-qr7yl]

You had me at “dolphin”.

[@Powerkraut1]

I live for these introductions to Meanwhile

[@wingedbluj1674]

Scientists: We found the dolphin Clitoris Me: So will that help in cancer research or are do we need to check your search history?

[@anamazing2297]

To be fair, marine biologists, etc. aren't experts on human cancer. Closest they get is usually crabs! 🦀♋

[@Salanan]

Man, I was about to watch a movie but I had to pause it once I saw this headline. How could I not watch this first?

[@PaddleAsia]

The 'size of a AA battery you say'... that's mildly shocking.

[@altortugas5979]

Thanks for removing all the vamping from the KZbin version of the segment, really improved rewatchability.

[@oldsledpurgatory3595]

"The Dolphin Clitoris Exists" sounds like the title of a Mars Volta record.

[@mikevanderman2727]

Indeed... My job has to do with virtual meetings and I always pin myself to the screen if I have the option to do so...

[@mdc7878]

Stephen, Thank you for the laugh.

[@blessingomoyemen1759]

As a graduate student confined to zoom meetings and zoom classes, I find entertainment looking at my face

[@tomjohnson9338]

And here I thought Spam was "dolphin safe."

[@JonathanACarr]

You forgot the COLBERT machine on the space station.

[@MforMovesets]

Oh good, I was worried the dolphin didn't enjoy it when I...

[@NewMessage]

I suspect that the real ingredient list of spam is much, much more disturbing.

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

As a Hawaiian, all I can say is: No spoilers, bruh.

[@geekdivaherself]

I think that the dolphin clitoris, much like the human clitoris, is much more likely to be longer than what is seen on the outside. I heard that the human clitoris is 10 mm long including the part on the inside which I believe is split in two around part of the vaginal vestibule, but I'm not as certain about that second part. I do know that the vaginal vestibule is a term that is actually used, though, which cracks me up. Please take off your shoes when entering the vaginal vestibule, please!

[@rockandrollfantasy86]

I guess this explains why male AND female dolphins are always rubbing against everything. Also, now I keep picturing what spam could be made of.... .help!

[@GreyCrowe]

Periodical flex 💪

[@gus.smedstad]

Truckasaurus. Definitely one of the better Saurs.

[@mjmaccabee7252]

No, what's antiseptic is what's in your mug 😄

[@petyrkowalski9887]

I shall never look at a can of SPAM the same way again.

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

Yeah, skateboarding might help SOME guys overcome a midlife crisis, but MY hubby? Nah, he decided *a divorce, out of the blue, after 38½ years* was what HE really needed. Kinda makes me wish he *did* have a broken clavicle... 😕 even if I will still love him through my dying day. 💔

[@josemexicanmexican7602]

I'm really sorry for this. I can't imagine leaving my wife now... but we've only been married for 8 years and been together for 11. I'm 31 and women have only started to show an interest in me lately, now that I'm making good money. I worry that as my career and income progress, I will get the itch to explore what nobody wanted to give me in my poverty stricken youth. My wife stuck by my side when I was homeless, joined the military, got injured, decided to leave the military and get a computer science degree, and supported me through that degree. Now we have a kid and I have baller job. I also like being alive now, and I take better care of myself. I'm still below average in height and I've never been considered attractive before, so I don't know how to deal with this. Anyway... maybe he's going through a phase. I hope so. I'm personally thinking about asking my wife for a 3 way. I really don't know.

[@LORISSABOOBMAN]

No Home & Garden Come on Evie!

[@milesgillespie6665]

Meanwhile... Hawaii will be enjoying Spam in their loco moco, and musubi in roughly 8 hours... Do your best to call your friends before their alarm clocks will wake them, and then tell your friends who give you nothing but Aloha spirit: Spam isn't what you think it is!!

[@timd4524]

Feel like we already knew the dolphin fact.

[@timd4524]

People homeless in the street and we're spending money on crap we already knew. You can get a grant to do the stupidest things also. Like research shit we knew 30-40 years ago.

[@winterday77]

Damn youre funny. 😆 🤣 😂

[@audbertovelez130]

im 53 young guy,, skateboarder,, and is true,, best therapy for the soul..

[@GameOfDepth]

I could eat spam all day!

[@geminisis7605]

TMI about the dolphins and "eww"

[@norafox4789]

Too funny,Stephen!!

[@GreatsMomentsTV]

Male Dolphins: "Oooooooooohhhhhh! That's what she ... but I... Wait for Real?!"

[@gonzogil123]

2:05min The guy had made the product a part of his steady diet, and could not get enough.

[@tyrantneptune3202]

Those meanwhile comparisons at the beginning are so intricate, I can't help but wonder if any of them are based on true stories...