Meditation and Dealing with Difficult People

[@julielewis1226]

Thank you Geshe-La. I meditate for the benefit of all sentient beings including myself. It is hard to admit we are good after so many years of being told we are bad from the start. It is sad to think that parents make their children believe they were born a bad person and will can never redeem themselves. Thank goodness the Dharma found me and I have access to a high lama. How fortunate I am.

[@luciagiolla8880]

Gratitude - Brazil 🙏

[@sewhappysarahr8912]

Thank you for all I have learned from you!

[@karentemplesnow8960]

Thank you. Everyone needs to know how to deal with difficult people.

[@NatureandSpirit111]

Karen Tun Aung I definitely know what you mean. We all have a lesson to learn. I just want answers to why I do not have peace.

[@rhmike4283]

@@NatureandSpirit111 try to have humble in heart.

[@ilonkaleibfried2142]

@@NatureandSpirit111 Sickness only appears within health. Death is thinkable only within life. Separation can only show in union. Differences can only grow in samenesses. Above can only arise together with below. Look up and search your feet! There you lost your peace. 🙃🙂☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🌼🌿🌼🌿🌈🌈🌈

[@freya7799]

@@ilonkaleibfried2142 Thank you for your comment! It made me think/realize that maybe even the things we want to go away somehow belong or are connected with the things we like. As all things are interconnected (:

[@ilonkaleibfried2142]

@@freya7799 love from deep within ✨☀️🌼🫶🌼☀️✨

[@editeisabelfaria2014]

Obrigada Mestre

[@madrasapattinam]

😄 thanks Swamy 🌸🙏 Nice watch there 👌

[@richardcarew4708]

Before I listen.. shhhh.. my wife went shopping for fresh veggies.. now.. let's hear this wisdom.. I think I need it... not often.. sometimes.. tempered with all the Love in my heart ❤ carry on, sir. please 😋

[@ilonkaleibfried2142]

Eyes see, what eyes are moved to look at. Even open eyes do not see the underlying beauty and love and bliss of each sentient being if I am not interested. 😆🥰🙏🙇‍♀️

[@redglazedeyez6652]

He is more wiser then any living world psychologists

[@TheSunnickey]

Thank you

[@thegoldenlotus9257]

thanks for sharing..

[@susydyson1750]

ammmm yA!

[@Yetipfote]

I find, that there are no emotions nor thoughts that aren't beneficial to others. Hatered and anger included. They all contribute to spiritual development. I think, like Eckard Tolle says, pain is the greatest spiritual teacher.

[@Yetipfote]

I would like to see a video where Mingyur Rinpoche tells us how to consciously develop negative emotions and thoughts.

[@Michael-Philip]

+Lorz Ronz I don't think you want to " develop" negative emotions and thoughts. Yes, we can learn from "pain". But we must treat pain or suffering with the love it needs.

[@knightpercivale2292]

Just be the watcher

[@purnalama9025]

He is funny and acts well

[@mokuho]

Reconoce tus buenas cualidades.

[@jigneshpadia]

Wondering if you have any thoughts on how to use meditation or patience while you notice injustice or road rages!

[@darlenelaski9716]

Does anyone know what Rin's position is about meditation music and chanting while meditating?

[@yoya4766]

This is a clever response to a common question. He's basically saying that we ourselves are difficult and project this onto others. Meditation is a way to be kind to ourselves which will stop us both projecting onto and being difficult to others. Mediation brakes the learned habit of seeing only our flaws, to see our positive traits too. In effect he's turned the question on its head. We are the difficult people we see in the world.I don't buy the answer. In absolute reality it may be true. But in our world we can be good and kind and saintly to others, and they'll probably take advantage, or otherwise abuse your kindness. To say everything is down to us makes us the worst power hungry control freak. Everything isn't down to us.

[@lizforth1252]

I did not interpret this meaning. While yes, we can be our own difficult people, it can also be true that there are some in the world who are abusers. When we disperse the clouds of our own negative mindset and emotion and we learn to control our own emotions, we can then handle abusers more appropriately. The very real problem is while we are exposed to abusers, whether we are still with them or we are legally obligated to continue contact with them (i.e. through children), it is very difficult to reset our own emotions (which abusers use against the target). This is why having no contact with toxic people is truly key. If you cannot go no contact, then you must use other options. One term Western psychology uses is "gray rock" against those with abusive tendencies. It is the skill of essentially making your responses so boring that you do not provide them fuel to the fire they are trying to set. The only control we have is ourselves and our reaction, not the abuser's actions. Meditation and controlling your own mental state handles the feelings that need to be resolved because "gray rock" does not help the internal feelings of the target. It only works externally. So, by gaining control over your own emotions and accepting that you cannot change the actions of an abuser does not equate the onus to being on the target. However, the onus is on each individual to control their own emotional state for their own personal peace. To say we are powerless against the abusers and can do nothing is allowing them control, which is what abuse is all about. We aren't responsible for the abusive actions others take and it is not projecting our own issues onto a person what MAKES them be abusive to us. But we can only choose how we react.

[@yoya4766]

@@lizforth1252 I agree. However, that's not what he said. It is all to common for Buddhist teachers to direct the fault onto the victim. I think this is more cultural than religious though. In many Eastern countries it is sadly the norm do victim blame and shame. It may also stem from the belief that all is one, the world is our projection blah blah. Its a problem for me as I've inherited a culture whereby I blame myself, for what is done to me. I recognise the conditioning which led me to feel this way. But have not learned to overcome it. Separation, as far as possible, is a good idea. However, any tactic e.g grey wall during interaction makes no difference. It's like they always undermine it somehow.

[@davethomas2659]

I need help. I am having trouble with my teen. He is abusing drugs, failing in school and hanging around with the wrong crowd. My wife and I have so much worry and stress over this. We are trying to help him but it has proven difficult and I fear it will be a long road of trouble, arguing and disappointment. I don't think I can follow the rule to not worry or accept what is happening in order to deal with the problem as it is my son. This is taking such a toll on my emotions. How can I meditate to help me?

[@bavakichitti]

Hi - I am sorry to hear that. Meditation can help with your responses to the aggravation caused by your sons behavior. There will be less yelling which hopefully with get your son turn around. That is what I know. My knowledge is very limited. Every one knows that we have to count to 10 when angry. Meditation can facilitate that.

[@hendrikfranss]

You must calm yourself first and take a quiet time. It might be good to let your anger, hatred, resentment to be calm first. Because it's oftenly more effective than forcing yourself to meditate while you are not in a good shape. But again, everyone has their own methods, so you may choose which is more comfortable to you :) Good Luck

[@chucklehead317]

Hi, acceptance does not mean inaction. Acceptance, I feel, means seeing it truly as it is without moral judgment. When true acceptance arrives there is a release from stress and worry. But it does not mean that your acceptance of the situation translates to your tolerance of all his activities. As a parent you accept your son's current behaviour as the current issue. You accept your own anxiety. You can read up and practice tonglen for this. It's a wonderful practice. In my experience the practice creates subtle changes in our own behaviour and state of being. Our own relaxed being, loving, nonjudgmental compassionate being will open gates of communication that were previously locked by our own natural anxiety and stress. When those gates open it seems to naturally attract communication. Your son will undoubtedly know he is on a path likely to hurt himself and the sudden compassionate release he will have from your anxiety might force him to have to worry for himself. You will then be available to him when he reaches for you. There are several practices that will help you cope with this current time. Pema Chodron goes through these techniques beautifully. They are simple and practical. Good lucl

[@keyarch4292]

Tell him to explain siddhis next

[@sharmanaresh9064]

Even a single vise ,evil on which mind focused carry away the intelligence of most determined person .

[@morganthomas2242]

I was sure that when he said "good skill" at around 2:30 he really said whiskey

[@jigneshpadia]

you are so funny!

[@markmurphy4782]

How to deal with people like Puttin or tyrants....need miracles

[@iketyke7324]

I love his voice and energy but I often find he never really gets to the point and teaches anything. Am I the only one?

[@williamhblake]

Thank you for these very helpful teachings .