Meet My Alters / Personalities (part 2) | Progress Has Been Made

[@nymiancomplex7336]

did the controller scare anyone else?I dont know why, but before she even said anything, she just scared me.

[@sleepless-cc4mo]

the controller scared me...

[@KaoticDreww]

You could see her (iris) going from scared to going to the controller being very evil with a smile on its face. While the controller was talking the lighting even changed on her face and I felt like the controllers eyebrows became more arched and evil.

[@pikanova]

It's scary because it's the evil inside all of us.

[@KaoticDreww]

Woah ^^

[@CharnekieBoss]

You're not alone

[@nerdycats]

I'm listening to control and thinking,"you've got to go! I hope the host throws you out as fast as she ever can."

[@LeaElfArt]

I feel as if the "controller" Is a demon..There is one way to which you can be freed, you can be freed by Jesus Christ.. He can deliver you and free you so the enemy no longer has a hold on you. You can say "In the name of Jesus get out!" And mean it. Or you can go to a church and ask them to free you of the demon. If this message offends anyone, or you, i am sorry, I'm just doing what God has left led me to do. God bless you, and I hope you find deliverance

[@thatonefangirl36]

What happened to the sexual alter?

[@calistakolozsvari8271]

exactly what I was wondering

[@KaoticDreww]

I think she combines with the unknown to become the controller

[@katkorman1581]

+thatonefangirl36 She made a video discussing that she no longer feels shame and guilt surrounding her sexuality, and i think that made it go away.

[@myribunt5261]

+Kat Manson Thats kinda sad dont you think?

[@Livingmeerkat68]

+Emily Beale sexual alter wasnt needed, it let itself go, it manifested into the other personalities.

[@LinneaKaroliussen]

Do you ever think, as The Host, "how would Autumn or Iris rationalize this situation?" when you're feeling paranoid and then successfully avoid paranoia or freaking out? Should make sense to do that if you want to unify your personalities.

[@aubreyrhianne8967]

You seem like you've been eating healthier. You look very healthy. Much respect. And you aren't just helping yourself grow through doing videos. You help me. So thank you. Goddess😇

[@Riomy13]

You're an amazing person, you know that? ^^ My best friend is a transgender who also suffers from a mental disorder. She doesn't have DID but from what I've learned from her I know how hard everything can be. But the fact that you are brave enough to put yourself out here, talk about what concerns you and accept youself the way you are (negative and positive), that's something a lot of people who doesn't even suffer from a mental disorder can't do. I'm not sure how weird I sound by saying this but I really want you to know that I admire your way of facing problems. You fight, you win or lose but you keep on moving. ^^ So.. I think that controller should better watch out for herself because I don't think that someone like her can keep up with your spirit. You're making great progress and I'm so happy to see that. Never give up. ~ And like I always love to say: 'You've got no chance? Use it!' ^-^

[@heatherbleu5370]

Who writes the scripts for all the other alters?

[@abbiewinstead9157]

You’re amazing (: and i just recently started watching your videos, I hope you keep doing what you’re doing !

[@iasios]

I noticed you read from a screen or piece of paper? How do you prepare that, do you switch between alters to write stuff down or? I admire your bravery.

[@Plurrrrrrrrrr]

slayyyyyyyy

[@threes309pop0lacks]

Woah this update really helped with some of the queries I have with the previous one! And to see the alters change from one to another is quite amazing and it must have taken quite a lot of acceptance and understanding a d all to help cope with all the alters? But woa the host changed to the controller not on command?! Whaaaaat! The controller is so meannnnnn, clearly knowing that the host can't take it.

[@nobletruthshealingandascen183]

You have nothing too be sorry, you are strong and you will prevail. We love you

[@ravencrescent2357]

Omg sweetie to see you go through that is making me cry watching this. I cannot imagine the hell you go through. As I suffer from another mental disorder myself. I will say this much I don't believe the controller at all. You are so strong for just doing these videos

[@demibourgonje2973]

at first i didn't believe it because I've never seen this.. but i have deeply respect for you! i can see the look in your eyes change when you switch personalities and it surprised me wow idk and i believe you will be loved

[@DeadRoyaleClown]

It's interesting about how both the ? unknown personality and "The Controller" both appeared and expressed things that I, as an individual, was trying to express to you. I'm considered delusional but with science I hope to prove otherwise. Your disassociation with your personality, I believe, could be your own body trying to correct the fact that you are feeling such intense feelings that they become separate of the core of your person. These one or two-note personalities take over the body based on what you're feeling at the moment, and other personalities attempt to root yourself to what you need for the fitting moment. The fact that you took control over the supervisor seems to be a point for yourself to demonstrate the amount of control you CAN have over your own body. Don't neglect that you are ALWAYS yourself, even when you let an emotion take control of yourself. Just realize you need to change you emotions to fit the personality that you wish to achieve. Iris has a hopeful but realistic personality, and I believe The Controller is another facet of Iris' existence, as I could tell The Controller was a positive influence (albeit incredibly powerful and spooky). Still, you overcame the most powerful of them all, the most reserved and demonstratively constant out of all your personalities, and you told it to stop and didn't let it do what you wanted to do. You can regulate yourself. I hope you feel better over time.

[@MarissyPooh]

I'm so happy I found this channel, it helps me validate what I feel because I feel so unsure and that "I'm making stuff up and shouldn't feed into it". Talked to my psychiatrist after finding your channel!

[@JoeMcKenzie888]

IF this is real, the controller is just an internalization of your early abusers. They talk bullshit, mostly, like all abusers.

[@shannonmoyes224]

the controller is so scary I near shit 😬

[@gabbiayala5047]

the "Controller" freaked me out so much. When it was about show, you could tell her whole demeanor changed and then came the evil, scary smile. Jeez that scared me.

[@hangcai]

Its like Autumn is taking over more and more, and that doesnt feel right.

[@ThecodbroZ11]

The controller alter seems alot like the alter in the last video that was calling her fake. The controller seems like her internal bully, an internal manifestation of her self hatred and a manifestation of the bad things people say about her.

[@taylor2042]

I HATE how people have real disorders like this but if someone shows it on the Internet people automatically think it's "fake"

[@lilyskwarczek3288]

THANK YOU SOMEBODY SAID IT

[@simplyeason]

OMG IKR. It must be so hard for her to live like that. But im positive she can fight through the battle well

[@shiteyanyo1111]

+Taylor Duda You can completely tell that these are different people. Heck, if she IS acting and writing this out give her an oscar, because she's very good at it. Everything down to her physical tendencies (Autumn loves to play with her hair, Iris likes to over-enunciate, etc.) are different.

[@ayogaby6143]

thank you omg

[@sunmoon539]

I agree

[@user-ut7kx2jw3j]

I think the controller is the unknown personality she described in part 1.

[@mirthew]

I really think the host, the real you is such a nice person. I could feel the sadness and I just wanted to hug you and say you're not worthless and you deserve to be happy. I'm glad you're making progress. Stay strong x

[@tenedria]

+Mirthe W Honestly I think the whole concept of "deserving happiness" is a social construct. Happiness is just an emotion you get when positive things happen to you, it doesn't need to be deserved its a reaction to an event, just like laughing or crying. I know its not obvious when you have low self esteem because I've been there before back when I was bullied, you feel like you don't deserve rewards or happiness. But keep in mind, its just a reaction, when your life is going well, you react by being happy. That's all there is to it.

[@mirthew]

tenedria I do get what you mean. But i meant it in a way that I hope she'll get more confidence and will feel happier. But even though happiness is a reaction you could always try to think positive and that would also cause you to feel happier even though it would just be a little. But emotions are complicated things.

[@tenedria]

the-halcyon thats because of an imbalance with your reward system. Depression is a failure of your brain to produce the reward hormone or to get insensitive to it (which can be caused by smoking, eating or doing other "pleasure" things too often). So yes, what I said is true. Happiness is nothing but hormones produced as a reaction to something. In a way, it is always deserved. Even a supper villain would get some while eating an ice cream.

[@tenedria]

the-halcyon are you trolling. Hereditary or not, its still an imbalance with your rewards system. It doesn't change a thing.

[@tenedria]

the-halcyon you read really badly... Depression is a failure of your brain to produce the reward hormone "OR" to get insensitive to it (than the thing you quoted here)

[@neocaine1829]

The Controller gave me chills D: That particular alter seems pretty dangerous.

[@suechurchill7128]

I agree

[@beu9245]

true

[@Fuphu]

nah its just all talk that one but she is mostly talking true (im not calling her a lier T.T) she can be very manipulative and she wont let her go but she is struggling to stay that way its obvious since she dosent want them to take 100% control and do some weird things that she will regret if u wanna see a full personality u have to find her in stress ok.

[@virylixyusinthehouse3694]

I agree

[@icecoldprincess2009]

Of course she's maintaining some control... would you trust a bunch of strangers and trolls with your most vulnerable parts, knowing that they can and do mean you harm??? It doesn't make sense to hit the self destruct button knowing that at best, she's going to send herself back to square one over again.

[@Arianna_T.]

No the host deserve happiness...she did not deserve everything that she have been through

[@Arianna_T.]

you will definitely overcome it.. god bless you

[@RayneDavila]

Yeah!

[@AshtonAnnOfficial]

K. れりな Please! Someone give this poor girl happiness! No on deserves this!

[@creatable]

I vote she deletes her channel. The host is unwilling and doesn't want to be online. Please, for your sake, delete your channel....

[@pamarosa3625]

SHE DOES DESERVE IT

[@cutekathren2519]

Autumn and Iris, I like them. I feel like they make the host stronger. It's the controller who needs to go.

[@Kn1feShift]

cutekathren Iris is a cinnamon roll mom

[@yukiandkanamekuran]

cutekathren The Controller needs to leave. They need to leave. The Host, Autumn and Iris needs to take over the body. The Host needs to destroy the controller.

[@ashleyeastwood6932]

yukiandkanamekuran leave ? They are all part of her 😂

[@sushixNova]

hey im no expert ,but …..as far as I know ….every alter has a role to play in the system . I'm pretty sure they all need to just figure it out for themselves . Chill out with the whole destroying the controller , every alter deserves respect and love like any other person . Peace out and do some more research.

[@samanthacharlesworth6558]

I understand why you would want to say that, but as a person with d.i.d, I now no that the 'persecutor' alters are often very traumatized memory holders of abuse who are misunderstood bcos they have a warped way of trying to protect the body from further abuse. 🤗

[@todayiglowup4286]

holy shit when she changed into the controller it was like she was staring into my soul

[@todayiglowup4286]

its also interesting how the controller talked the longest

[@stephanielaudicina1913]

Pearlie Grace and notice how the Controller just gives off an air of power. She doesn't use contractions when she speaks which is a way people attempt to assert dominance. I can literally feel the terrifying energy through my phone screen......😳

[@priska91able]

true, I creep out when the controller came D:

[@yanopam1435]

FRR I felt the air shift

[@bobbyshaddoe3004]

Holy shit, the controller is scary. When she talked about snapping her fingers to go away, I had flashbacks to Infinity War. This woman deserves happiness, because everyone deserves happiness.

[@purplestorm9004]

The controller said hi and I got chills through my body

[@that_goth_bitch3899]

This whole thing is fake, dude. You may as well be watching a life time movie.

[@rachelryan78]

hahaha ur an idiot. its fake

[@purplestorm9004]

Rachel ryan did i say it was real? No i just thought the voice creepy so chill

[@AddiePeterson]

Her eyes dilate so much when she switches to the controller oh my god

[@jainarao3158]

the controller kinda looks like the other mother from coraline

[@carolinadamiani397]

Did you watch the previous "Meet My Alters" video? I had the impression that The Controller was like a mix of the Sexual Alter and the Unknown. It looks kinda dangerous D:

[@SpacePriestess]

I ran the video back and watched it several times. There is such a noticeable dilation of the pupils when The Controller comes out. It's just unreal. I really wasn't sure what I thought about alters until watching this video (i.e. I never doubted that people with DID believed they had alters, I just questioned if they really *did*)...however, I think I'm a believer now.

[@SchwarzBunt]

Hmmmm.....yeah, I had the exact same thought.

[@squashedshibber2684]

Your eyes dilate when you have intense emotional responses/stress/dissociation.

[@amelianannette972]

The Controller is giving me chills. Even my dog freaked out.

[@amelianannette972]

Nope I'm am skipping to the Host. I wish you luck in learning to control her, and that you are able to overcome her immense negativity.

[@amelianannette972]

+DancesWithBeauty Plus I wish you luck in becoming more like Iris, and eventually overcoming your DID altogether.

[@Melsphilosophy]

me too major goosebumps

[@Melsphilosophy]

i feel like i.. maybe everyone has this controller inside... the more chaotic this world becomes the stronger the controller gets

[@remyfarris3120]

do you think that makes her feel better come on!!!!!

[@mayac218]

I'm so glad that Iris helped prevent her from committing suicide during the teenage years... Thank goodness.

[@thatgirlriri512]

Anyone notice that her eyes dilate when the Controller takes over?

[@yourserenadeow9823]

oh shit. I noticed

[@OnlyMichaelJackson]

+YourSerenade oW 😂😂😂😂😂😂 "oh sh**"

[@yourserenadeow9823]

+OnlyMichaelJackson (Angel) xD

[@sonofvicvega816]

That freaked me out. I got chills noticing the first time

[@denisemaus2962]

The Controller looked deep into my soul and made me cry. I can see a lot of my own demons in this video. I am a 20 year old female and even though we are very different, I empathize very strongly with you. This video was extremely therapeutic for me. THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL. Never stop smiling!!

[@kitanastar7159]

omg I know.. it's so scary lolll

[@SierraLeSaint]

I know right, the controller was scary to watch

[@Knolch]

Please dont self-therapize with youtube videos, it´s really dangerous. Get professional help and you can discuss those videos with your psychologist if they make you feel better. Seriously though, everyone has issues, some more than others maybe,. but you can easily worsen your own issues from those kind of - sorry to say - misinformed videos.

[@hanakuneko4351]

Shiift, Shut the hell up. This isn't fake people have this condition! And I understand them. I don't have this condition but I feel for them. Shut up and if you think this is fake....watch another damn video!

[@hanakuneko4351]

Wait really? If this is true....I'm so sorry I was rude to you...

[@JukeJonathan]

"I'm sure you're asking - if they don't exist and I control them wouldn't that just be hurting myself? - well, no. I wouldn't be hurting myself. I would be hurting them...THEY DON'T ACTUALLY EXIST BUT I CONTROL THEM ALL." This doesn't make any sense at all and I suppose that's the point.

[@NewWaveMasquerade]

As soon as the “Controller” first appeared I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and the warning senses in my mind went on alter. The Controller’s presence is strong; I can feel it through my computer screen. Looking into the eyes of the Controller and hearing their voice, feels like I’m staring into the abyss and the abyss is staring back at me. It’s some what unsettling, I’m glad the Host was able to fight back and over come the Controller’s advances. Although I am still concerned about what else the Controller may have planned and what other influences it has. How often does the Controller take over and manifest? Does it happen more or less now that you made this video?

[@AutumnAsphodel]

NewWaveMasquerade It is happening more frequently over the past month or so. It almost feels like it is being 'brought out' of me. It is usually around almost every day for I don't know how long. Certain things trigger it, but I can't put my finger on just what it is. However, it coming around now, and making its presence known, especially with my therapist, I think is a sign of improvement since it would be hidden deep inside me. Now, it's coming out. Now, I can address it. And now, I can fight it back and overpower it! It'll be a challenge though since it's been so difficult dealing with it thus far.

[@NewWaveMasquerade]

***** I agree with you on that, if the Controller only worked from behind the scenes before without ever manifesting and has just now reveled it’s self, then you’re defiantly hitting the Controller where it hurts. I know this entire situation is stressful and traumatic but I really think you’re making good progress. I can tell from the way the Host interacted with the camera, she’s opening up way more than before and isn’t as negative about herself. I really hope your progress continues and everything in your life gets better. I have faith that you’ll be successful in overcoming this.

[@TimeMovie93150]

when the controller came out i felt the exact same as you, my heart skipped a beat, i was almost frightened!

[@no.1fuzzwaldfan727]

I'm glad I wasn;t the only one. I felt sick, like there was a huge lump in my throat, and yes, when I looked into her eyes, it did feel like looking into an abyss, and it was rather scary, I think it was what made this experience so much more true and real, even though it is real, I know. There was something so much more about this, and all I can say is that it is very powerful. Strange thing is, I was drawing whilst watching this, and I ended up drawing a dark abyss on my page.

[@tobytobs0109]

I personally disliked the Controller when it came out, especially when it tried the tactic at the end. I am proud of the Host for fighting back and would like her to know that she is very strong in her own right and to be proud of what she has accomplished.

[@creaky_swings]

A book by her would be really interesting in my opinion

[@tapanga7657]

Amy Clare i know right

[@fallenangel5103]

yeah I'd love to see a book by her

[@sethblack9999]

It would be a book with 4 different authors.

[@sethblack9999]

and they're all her.

[@sethblack9999]

But they're also not

[@irihernandez8230]

this is sad, she looks scared of herself i cant imagine this

[@Apetitegirly]

@@skeetskeet8238 wtf

[@lightningbugtriathol]

The controller is delusional. The host has more power than she thinks she has.

[@delaila6049]

Jessica Lamont I agree

[@lanacooper131]

That's incorrect. I also have DID. I also have no idea what I do or say sometimes for days.

[@percivalfan]

@@lanacooper131 do you think she is a persecutor?

[@amandalaurcind2145]

As long as you look at the Controller, even if you move the screen, it looks like she's staring into your soul.

[@HannyKuerbismann]

Same!

[@adrc5606]

Amanda Laurcind OMG, your profile picture!!! IT'S MARS ARGO!!!!

[@amandalaurcind2145]

+adrian chinchilla sanga You know it.

[@amandalaurcind2145]

+adrian chinchilla sanga Are you new to the fandom?

[@adrc5606]

Amanda Laurcind yeah, since poppy arrived I discovered Mars and now I'm just obsessed with her music ;-;

[@iiTapeYou]

"The Controller" for some reason I feel like that isn't suppose to be there. I have such a negative vibe from that personality as if it were more of a demon. I can feel it through the screen like its there and ugh shivers.

[@Kinokisings]

I was thinking the same thing. There are several things about it that, to me, would indicate that The Controller is a demon, and not another one of her alters. 1) The vibe. The look in its eyes seems sinister. I've heard stories from people who have dealt with people who have had a demon, and this is pretty much what they described. 2) The intentions. It wants nothing but destruction in her life...just like Satan. 3) It even said it's "a separate entity entirely. " True, anyone and anything can say that, but from my knowledge, demons aren't shy and will often make their intentions known. Now I shall prepare for people to call me an ignorant bible thumper /:

[@jens2241]

Tohellwithgoogleplus i also believe in personal demons, a part of a human that is unwelcome and doesn't belong. I am an atheist but i believe that people can interpret the world and the mind the way they understand best and give them comfort. She will banish this demon through some magic that is relavent to her world view.

[@Bradford.C.Wallsbury]

Tohellwithgoogleplus i also beleive that as if u look at here eyes they dilate in and out so much and thats usually common with suspected demon victims

[@Yaboiroli]

I don't think so. I believe in demon possession and don't think it's far off that a person with DID also be possessed but the fact that she's able to take control of the situation like that shows that it really is just another one of her personalities that she's doing an absolutely amazing job of conquering!

[@jusdubzzz]

I agree, the controller was very persuasive and directly forward, which can be perceived and strength but, I think the HOST is much stronger.

[@kaedtoasts5047]

I honestly would have NEVER guessed that you were born a male. Incredible transition! I myself am a lesbian and I suspect I may have DID... It's like there are dozens of "me" inside my head that cause these horrid swings from one to another. It's like I'm in control, yet not because it's as if I'm watching myself. I suppose it was fate to find a youtuber I can relate to much! ^^ I hope you are doing well with recovery and coping.

[@hannaiversen6927]

She was born a male???? OMG she looks more feminine than me and i was born female

[@thatgirl298]

Shd was a chick?

[@kel4me520]

Born male!

[@zarajday]

I like the real her. She is a very sweet person. I can tell from her eyes. I hope she can overcome and learn to take the masks off more often.

[@amelianannette972]

this is VERY random, but do your alters have differenent handwriting?

[@amelianannette972]

spelling though... whoops

[@day2Dawn]

yes it's a very big possibility they have different hand writing

[@amelianannette972]

***** Yeah,I would guess that too

[@faithstanley2263]

alters can have different identities entirely, including name, age, gender, sexual orientation, personality traits and other preferences. the way they talk, do things, and perceive things will be different as well due to them having different memories, experiences and perceptions. so yes, its possible though it might be only slight differences [besides from like the name.]

[@morgthestallion]

Love when people have dogs as pics I picture a dog literally typing this and omg so cute

[@peacnik]

what has happened to compassion? You people talk about this person as if she is not real. Her life is a hard and difficult one, but she is learning, and one day, if she chooses, she will become one. in the meantime, try to respect others as you would as if they are in front of you. would you have the courage to be so mean to someone standing next to you? If you would, YOU are the one that needs help. Hididen behind the anonymity of the computer makes some so bravely mean, and hurtful. I can't wait for the day where humanity comes back in to play.

[@prettygirlbones9928]

peacnik This comment really deserves more likes!👍👍👍 I couldn't of said it better myself, so Thank You for being that one voice that said what needed to be said...Many Respects To You!!

[@KiKi-nm1fd]

How did i end up here? 🤔

[@SierraLeSaint]

Same, youtube kept recommending these on the main page for forever and now I'm just along for the ride

[@beyondaveragemotion]

THIS

[@Exo_Seraph]

*When you've been watching KZbin for 24 hours plus*

[@mathisliebberger3540]

tascha ᅲᅲ legit what im thinking

[@IsabellaDemarko]

I love Iris!

[@BelladonnaXIII]

same

[@iris9202]

cheers.. haha just kidding

[@kitkat2061]

For some reason I have that feeling of her because a hippie I don't understand myself.

[@ChonkehBoii]

Isabella Demarko me too, she seems so calm and i’d like to talk to Iris, but unknown scares me

[@drunkbutterscotch6517]

*sings drakes song* controllaa...controllaa...anyway interesting vid

[@Margaret_olivia]

lol

[@ihaveapeakink]

😂😂

[@paigeG0509]

The Controller has always made my skin crawl, but once she laughed harshly at the host fighting for control I ended up crying.

[@SinginginD]

It's interesting that the controller doesn't use any contractions.. "will not, she will, I am," never "won't, she'll, I'm." I wonder why.

[@rockthecasba16]

they used one right after they came out actually.

[@littlerainbow5242]

I know that not using contractions make you sound more dominant, more sure about yourself. I never use contractions in essays, like persuasive essays or any form of persuasion. The fact that they're named "controller" fits the lack of contractions. Makes it easier for them to be in control of another. Great point btw.

[@deliberatelypositive5812]

SinginginD To assert more dominance I think.

[@verysleepyfrog]

I think "she will" sounds more controlling and powerful than "she'll", and powerful is what the Controller wants to be.

[@billhitchens7561]

It’s actually a sign of lying. It’s a controlled form of speech, because the speaker is aware they could make a mistake and be found out.

[@AutumnAsphodel]

Progress has been made since the previous 2014 video (kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZvInn5uZZifaK8). And, while there is still much to be worked on, I know I can overcome it given enough time. I've already come this far and will not let negativity deter me from my positive future goals! - Meet My Alters / Personalities (part 2) | Progress Has Been Made

[@peterfixit7221]

first comment, I think you are awesome, I really enjoy watching your videos, I hope you have a long and prosperous life and you tube career

[@natochaps7617]

Hi Autumn, only stumbled across your videos today and I think your great! Shared experience is so important when it comes to the parts of the human brain processes that aren't 'the norm'. I'm sure your helping a lot of people of the same boat as well as raising awareness. I will be watching any futures posts, I think your fascinating and would love to know some half as interesting and insightful as you. All the best! :)

[@kaymarie2]

Oh, Autumn, Autumn, ***** ~ Amazing introduction. I agree, enough with the labels. Speaking of, just today, I went over on my Pinterest board "Understanding and Overcoming My Diagnoses" with all the diagnoses in the description and reworked it all by eliminating the description and putting in 'No More Labels' as well as just keeping the board name as "Understanding and Overcoming". I also deleted some pins. Anyway, apologies for all the quotations For me, a lot of this is all more spiritual than psychological and scientific. However, I'm always bouncing back and forth in trying to figure it all out: is this real? what am I feeling? I thought I was fine. Why this again?. And so on. From my own perspective, I see this controller as yours as the dark mind and/or dark thoughts. Which, essentially, we all possess; like you stated about the sub-personalities. It's almost as though there is a struggle or fight over the balance; like who is going to be the dark and who is going to be the light? It seems like you're dancing in a room with strobe lights.

[@kaymarie2]

***** and to whom would like to read this: A few years ago, someone told me about a book. I still have to read it and I'm still interested in it. It's called "Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life's Ordeals" by Thomas Moore. If you haven't read it or heard about it, you may find it interesting as well. I'm going to check my local libraries to see if it's available. Here is a little bit about it that I just copied and paste from Goodreads: 'Every human life is made up of the light and the dark, the happy and the sad, the vital and the deadening. How you think about this rhythm of moods makes all the difference. Our lives are filled with emotional tunnels: the loss of a loved one or end of a relationship, aging and illness, career disappointments or just an ongoing sense of dissatisfaction with life. Society tends to view these “dark nights” in clinical terms as obstacles to be overcome as quickly as possible. But Moore shows how honoring these periods of fragility as periods of incubation and positive opportunities to delve the soul’s deepest needs can provide healing and a new understanding of life’s meaning. Dark Nights of the Soul presents these metaphoric dark nights not as the enemy, but as times of transition, occasions to restore yourself, and transforming rites of passage, revealing an uplifting and inspiring new outlook on such topics as: • The healing power of melancholy • The sexual dark night and the mysteries of matrimony • Finding solace during illness and in aging • Anxiety, anger, and temporary Insanities • Linking creativity, spirituality, and emotional struggles • Finding meaning and beauty in the darkness '

[@mariamsheriff8440]

Autumn I love ur videos they make me understand people better and I'm a psychology student this helps me a lot thank you... And you are very pretty

[@erzebetbathory9277]

Don't let KZbin get to you, none of these people know you, they've never met you in real life. Figure your life out on your OWN don't listen to assholes on KZbin if they wanna be negative and condescending.

[@keanadianne]

did anyone else laugh when The Controller was tryna be all dramatic and then the camera died on her... shit i was so scared and then it just goes black and she's all "as i was saying before i was so rudely interrupted by this camera" ON A SERIOUS NOTE THO I'm proud of you for the progress that you've made and the fact that The Controller wasn't able to hurt you like it tried to is really good! Keep your chin up xx

[@BreAnna5392]

Just so you know, it actually is possible to overcome this illness. After 3 years of intense turmoil and many failed attempts at healing myself, I finally succeeded. I was diagnosed with DID and had over 40 prevalent and aggressive personalities. As you can imagine it was hell inside my head. Although I knew that being rid of them would mean that I would have to face the world 100% alone, I just wanted one single voice inside my head. I couldn't get anything done if I was changing constantly. How could I be in a relationship if I became somebody who didn't love or even hated my significant other? etc. I know it probably feels like recovery is hopeless and your a lost cause, doomed to emotionally survive this way forever. But the key to this is to continue gaining control over the" Controller." It seems like an all powerful entity but it gets its sole power from the host being so broken. It won't admit that but that's why it focuses so heavily on the host at every opportunity. If your pain and need for it doesn't exist than neither will it. With practice you'll be able to eliminate your need for it and begin to make your own decisions concerning your own well-being. Again, I know it seems impossible but I've done it and honestly I would never want to live any other way

[@AutumnAsphodel]

BreAnna5392 Your words are absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much, and for sharing your experience. I'm sure that was not at all easy to deal with. I wish you all the best!

[@akatsukiayame2316]

BreAnna5392 Wow... that is amazing! Thank you for the inspiring words.

[@missmaryypotter]

One of my subpersonalities came out today. I have social anxiety and have always had trouble making friends. I was in the gym and i have no friends in that class. I looked around, and suddenly went up to a group of girls and said hi. Within 5 minutes we were all laughing and talking shit like regular high school girls. I didn't realize what I was doing until after it happened. It was like I was watching myself from a window and I wasn't in control of myself. I never realized I had that charisma. It scared me a little but I felt so good after.

[@Lzero7]

I can't decide if the Controller is sadistic or narcissistic... I mean, she's doing all this to *herself*. Yknow.

[@Lzero7]

Ok is it just me or Autumn seems like she's transitioning at the end like the very last second if the video?!

[@TequilaMockingBird91]

You're looking at it far too literally. Each personality is not a literal personality inside her; they are hidden suppressions and key lessons that she desperately needs to learn. That's why The Sexual One is "dead", because Autumn's admitted that she's embraced her sexuality already. In the case of "The Controller", my guess is that it's a lesson of hope and perseverance in the time of adversity.

[@colettemooi]

or just a plain sociopath.

[@hauntedtoast9610]

I kind of agree with vol de mort, that altar is probably the manifestation of what she's learned from being abused, kind of like your head's negative-talk but in the form of a person. I'm proud that the host is starting to hopefully not listen to it though

[@khalidrivera1998]

Lzero7 the controller is what I would call a sadonarcissist

[@alexander548100]

I still dont understand this illness. Not in a 'wtf is this?' way, more like in a way that i just cannot relate to this. I really respect you and will definately not judge you for your sickness. I just dont understand how this happenes, eg switching in between alters. What do you do, when you talk to people and you suddenly are a different 'person'? Why do you not just stay as one personality? If you could do a video for dummies haha or just answer me, i would really be grateful, bc i really want to understand it and i kinda am getting more and more interested. Anyways, i wish you all the strenght there is on this planet to overcome your illness!

[@AutumnAsphodel]

alexander548100 Thank you! It depends. There will always be a reason, a trigger. It won't happen spontaneously. A simple thought could be a trigger. Sometimes it's not so easy to stay "in control" if the anxiety were to be too high or the one taking control were to become stronger than the one that is currently out. If it happens when talking with someone, I will usually not recall what we were talking about or be confused by the conversation. I personally do not like it view it as an 'illness' since, for me at least, it's aspects of myself that I've refused to recognized and repressed. I see it as a challenge I will overcome given enough time.

[@crabPEOPLE2000]

***** It's a mental illness, if they were regular aspects then they wouldn't have a persona all of their own

[@racheldk8]

In my point of view (which honestly has so meaning or facts to it, i simply have an opinion) It's not actually an "alter" so to speak. They're the same person, just different personalities. Like when the host gets nervous or anything else, Iris or Autumn will "step forward". It's kind of like when you're having a really bad day, but you smile anyway and don't let people know. In this case, that "smile" just so happens to be Autumn or Iris or anything other optimistic personality. And when I say "personality" I use it very lightly. Because it's not a whole other person, it's just a whole other emotion. Everyone copes differently. People who suffer with this illness just happen to have names for "alter egos". And that doesn't mean that they make this up, either. Because while there's only one "personality", there are so many emotions that the host is not able to properly sort through. Again, I have no knowledge beyond my own opinion of mental illnesses and this is just that. An opinion. Honestly, I could be completely wrong. It's just my view on things.

[@InXLsisDeo]

Rachel Kinsolving No, from what I've read and seen on the subject, the different persona can have a different voice, a different way of behaving and interacting and even different tics. The child, for instance, is much "younger" and if you ask her age, she will answer maybe 7, with a childish voice and a childish intellect. Or for instance, the Host (too bad she doesn't have a name for herself) seemed to suffer from very light stuttering and freudian slips, while Iris is extremely articulated and clear thinking (Overall, Autumn clearly displays an intelligence far above the average). So it's not simply a matter of emotions. A persona looks like a complete construction around a set of emotions, a personification of the emotions. I would be interested to see which parts of the brain are excited by each persona, but I wouldn't be surprised if they are not the same. It seems to me that her brain is exceptionally plastic and the parts of her psyche that defines our self can remodel itself more or less at will, something which isn't possible for "normal" people.

[@jusdubzzz]

InXLsisDeo I thought I heard her alter say that the HOST does not WANT her real name put out...as opposed to her NOT having a name for herself as the host.

[@jasmineskye3697]

THE HOST ! PLEASE READ THIS! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I can see the progress you seem more happy and that makes me so happy 😊 Don’t listen to the controller. You deserve to be in this world everyone does. You deserve happiness. You are beautiful. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

[@cpan04]

Is it possible for the host to never come out? Is it possible that the host could essentially die and an alter take over forever?

[@AutumnAsphodel]

cpan04 Yes, I (Autumn) actually thought the host did die at one point due to what was going on. But, she seemed to have just gone away and I wasn't aware of her for some time (probably a few weeks).

[@cpan04]

***** Thank you so much for answering. You are awesome!

[@LioGunne]

Autumn? Listen, i may not know what the Host's name is, or why that controller wants to steal all good that she's gained for herself... But if i could, i would personally tell her that the Controller will NEVER succeed, because we won't let it. I want to help her, help you how i can... If you could, tell "Host" this for me. Please...?

[@seaenchants]

I'm in this with you, +Louis McCann!

[@megadart5635]

+Autumn Asphodel Is it kind of like like for example like multiple souls in one body or is it different

[@Marqkus]

Because of you, I told people about my DID.

[@Marqkus]

I have a stone room for when I don't want to deal with them.

[@AB-ts3kl]

Steallastarz Alpha What is a stone room?

[@user-me6jl9ht2m]

Steallastarz Alpha I'm sorry, how old are you? I really doubt you have DID

[@llmarie4052]

Congrats dude =)

[@emilygonzalez8801]

Army

[@Kn1feShift]

Iris is so motherly and cute and adorable and I just want to cuddle with her when I'm suicidal myself she's amazing 😊

[@amelianannette972]

Anyone who has survived suicidal thoughts or actions has Iris inside of her. That beam of hope and happiness is in everyone. Autumn just has problems with meshing those aspects of herself together. (I BELIEVE. If anyone has DID or is a doctor, please feel free to correct me.)

[@andrielisilien]

I think you are right. Iris reminds me of my family every time :) "If you won't hold on for yourself, at least hold on for them."

[@irissarah4221]

😌

[@daniellebarnes3124]

people are so mean. I suffer from a very severe mental illness myself. she is doing her best and if she wants to document this, she can. this is very real. I've witnessed D.I.D. up close, along with other serious mental illnesses (please don't ask how) and there are even more severe forms of D.I.D. this is real and is a real issue

[@punkchristmasparty4411]

|-/

[@danasaur06]

Thank you for making this. I do not suffer from this, but I find your videos very interesting and it is enjoyable learning about DID. One question; the show 'United States of Tara', is that show accurate in terms of the disorder? It is about a woman with DID, and I sort of base some of my knowledge of the subject on that show. :) Sorry if that was a silly question! Have a lovely day. x

[@AutumnAsphodel]

Dana46 Not silly at all. Thank you very much! =) I've never seen the show. Many people have mentioned it to me, but I personally don't really have any interest in it to be honest. Have a wonderful day as well.

[@pennylane248]

I am DID and I have seen the show and no way does show true MPD. This is why, everyone is different, there are no Multiples that are the same. Reason is that we all have different lives and experiences. Dana46+ If you have repeated traumas in a non healing environment. You see dear it's because you don't heal between traumas. If you don't get this you will split. You have to be intelligent, and creative and have trauma in a non healing environment. If evil is growing you up then if you are extremely intelligent. Not just intelligent but extremely and creative then you may help yourself in childhood to help you live.

[@D1ceDealer]

As someone who also has DID (there seems to be allot of us in the comments, ha) I personally see the series as being very accurate for a tv show. Obviously it isnt going to be 100% real life accurate due to it being a tv series and therefore not being free from any stereotypes, but it's definitely the best I've seen so far regarding DID in media. I'd recommend watching it but I would take it with a grain of salt as obviously it wont be accurate especially since it's a tv show and DID can be different from person to person. It's also pretty funny regardless of if you want to watch it for the representation of a woman with DID or if you want to watch it for the comedy and plotline etcetera.

[@dakotaflores56]

I wanna say, maybe the controller is bluffing *in a sense, bear with me. It's sounds like she is the ashamed feelings that the host has for what has happened to her (it's common with most abuse cases that they feel they deserve to suffer) and she comes off with this cocky kind of attitude of 'I'm in control, I don't care if I hurt them, only I can do the harm, I'm the damage that she deserves'. I hope this "controller" didn't take over. I noticed she had an update from this one, but I haven't watched it yet. Just hope she is doing good. ❤️

[@AzuraDragonFaether]

I recently have discovered a very dark and abusive side of myself. It scares the shit out of me and I honestly have no idea what to do. It's much bigger than me and maybe I'm just starting to figure out that I have multiple personalities. But here's my issue. I don't want to be a fake or attention seeker. For I have been in the past. All I really want is help on how to control this personal demon. Thankfully my boyfriend knows that when I freak out that way it's not him I'm angry at. I'd love to see a therapist more than anything else but don't have the resources (or trusted family members) that I can go to to ask for help. I do have a protector of sorts I think. Forgive me if this sounds crazy but I honestly am just trying to figure things out. My main protector is DragonFeather I think. She was created to protect Jennie whom is the host or original. This dark part of me is so very angry and disgusting and I want it to go away. I just don't know how to rid myself of this dark entity that hurts all the people I love and care about. This is really all speculation on my part at this point in time. Your video was really hard, but necessary, for me to watch. When the Controller came out i saw a lot of my darker self in you. It was comforting to know I'm not alone but terrifying because maybe this issue I've been having is a lot bigger than I ever imagined. Thank you for posting these videos. They really help me in my life and are helping me recover just as much as you. You do deserve everything. Autumn deserves the world. Iris deserves the world. And the host deserves the world. You are all such beautiful people and I adore watching all the videos you create together. Thank you again. You have made a huge difference in my life. ~DragonFeather

[@dennispomfrey6857]

*****

[@elvenafae]

Awww Dragon Feather! I Watch All Your Videos (just Recently Got An Account On KZbin So Gotta Subscribe To Ya) I'm Actually A Little Shocked That I Saw Your Comment While Browsing The Section But I Honestly Think That To Truly Get The Help And Diagnosis PLEASE Seek A Psychiatrist. Please Please, Please! It Will Help You, This Is Coming From Someone Who's Been In A Mental Hospital Seeking Help As Well. I Hope That Which Ever Way You Choose To Get The Help You Deserve And Need That You Get Better. Blessed Be.

[@chayannekooch654]

When I Heard the Controller say "here's the plan" I was like she's gonna kill someone

[@kymerapaige3691]

My cat attacked the screen when the controller came on. We aren't a fan of The Controller.

[@jjakie07]

My opinion is just that, mine. But I am educated in this area, and I believe that there are more deep rooted issues here that are not DID related. I think you have serious mental health issues that don't revolve around DID, but that need to be treated. I would urge you to look into this.

[@conanmiddleton925]

I also think this too. There is obvious issues here, and I genuinely wish for her to get better, but this will only be achieved when the real issues are treated.

[@XxCuningStuntxX]

Jake Johannesen set up just telling her that you see a problem why don't you try and explain it a little further your approach I think is scary hey man you got this big ass problem you should get help how would you react

[@irmaromo2430]

Jake Johannesen I so agree with you like I said the only two personality that she does have is when she was a boy so she had the boy side then the woman side when she could bring out the girl side as a man boy she had to act like a boy even when she didn't want to. She does have a problem but not DID it's all scripted. She needs help. Yes I believe she was abused cuz I have I at times feel like I have two different personalities by good side and my bad side like I was brought up as letty my middle name here by one side of my family and the other knows me by my first name irma

[@caitlinsweet2832]

sub personalities seemed kind of real-ok....but the controller maked things look like either its a prank, either she is dangerous , at least to herself...i would say it is fake, cause of the way she changes and stuff, but the controller seemed so real that, it would be hard even for an actress to play such a role...this might have been a combiantion of DID , schizophrenia and maybe more too...

[@halfembalmed]

Jake Johannesen reading a Wikipedia article doesn't mean you're educated on the subject. If you truly were you'd give better advice than vaguely saying "you might want to look into that..."

[@randikuharic-cassel42]

This is one of the most confusing and equally interesting things I believe I've ever seen. I want to be clear - I do not doubt that you're suffering from mental illness and I would never presume to downplay or invalidate your suffering by judgment, but as a mental health provider (LPC) I feel a necessary, compulsory urge stemming from that responsibility as a professional to post a comment. You say you've been in therapy for two years with the main focus, I'm assuming, on coping with DID; the stage and consciousness in which you are presenting your alters is extremely advanced. The scripts, the planning, the editing - all the work that went into making this video alone would be nearly impossible for someone in the beginning stages of healing to accomplish. I'm to believe that, first ofall, all four? five? alters agree to making videos for KZbin and being scripted and contributing to the work... while a 'Controller'... sits back and plots against you? My dear, in my opinion, you have been misdiagnosed. I believe you feel your subtypes very strongly which suggests a high level of empathy - more than likely, most of your issues (antisocial behaviors, mood disorders, anxiety, etc) stem from you -yes, you- being an empath. And drop the psychiatrist. I'm sensing strong suggested, implanted trauma at work here... Find someone who balances behavioralism and spirituality. You feel deep, that's all - compartmentalization is not DID. But most of all, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else says. Feel good! Regardless of what anyone says or thinks, I guarantee you've changed and positively impacted people's lives - an absolutely amazing and inspiring act of selflessness.

[@cristiangutierrez8939]

She actually suffers from Munchausen Syndrome. An illness in which she believes she has an illness and than carries on to act it out. She believes she has DID and than creates alters. Munchausen is a form of Hypochondriac . She genuinely believes she has DID and struggles to believe that she has no such thing. This is why she gets so defensive when people deny her illness because she really believes she has it but she really doesnt

[@catsscratch]

cristian gutierrez this makes A LOT of sense. I think you've hit the nail on the head here.

[@truthisreal.]

+Id A I think she falls more into the DDNOS category because she can control her alters. My clinician told me she couldn't fully diagnose me with DID because I have control of my alters and I am completely aware of them. I don't know, it's clearly just speculation and I hope I'm not offending anyone. Anyway, I can do the same with my alters but I'm spiritual and sometimes for me I fear one of my alters is not of me. Then again you always wonder if that's just your mental illness, lol it's always an annoying thins to discuss.

[@truthisreal.]

+cristian gutierrez Being transgender takes an incredible amount of dissociation from birth, I am also transgender I am beginning to think a lot of us suffer from this. I believe she has some form of a Dissociative disorder. Your mind breaks into so many different pieces in order to survive but you end up losing yourself because for such a long time you deny yourself and create these versions you think will please the outside world but you end up discarding them and making knew ones when they don't fit. When you finally realize who you TRULY are, you are left with all of these other voices fighting you to be the one in the driver's seat. PLUS she is schizophrenic, there are just way too many psychological factors to stop at Munchausen. Politely disagreeing.

[@skullj2872]

Am I the only one who wasn't scared by the Controller?

[@kase3074]

Not trying to be rude or anything but, like, you're full of shit. I'm just kidding, but you really didn't get freaked out when she switched? My eyes started watering

[@arprodigy7947]

Kasey Barela Nice try trying to make people think you have subpersonalities by acting like you have that disorder, plus your BTS profile pic you’re just like any other girls who wants to make people think they have that disorder to act cool, and you’ll blame me for thinking EVERY disorder is fake, well no you’re just a faker ik it

[@conchagoblin389]

autumn, i hope you know you are truly beautiful! I wish you the best.

[@RaineX6]

+Ashlyn Aguirre XIUHANNNN!!!

[@DTLamia]

+Amna R Said someone Xuihan? 🌚

[@LovesDarkBlue]

Holy cow. Watching the struggle between the controller and the host was crazy! Very difficult to watch :( It's all in the eyes...

[@RosanneCouper]

would be nice to see you meet with the psychic twins.

[@alfamily1086]

I was thinking the same thing

[@missmaryypotter]

The psychix twins are a total hoax. They're not actual mediums.

[@RosanneCouper]

+Hazy Nightmares I believe they are.

[@macaronicheese8721]

I used to believe in them, but now I have my doubts

[@kiakaha110]

They're completely bullshit. People can be so gulliable smh.

[@Georgiakayy]

As an aspiring psychiatrist, I don't doubt you're ill.. But the contradiction in this video is troubling. To the controller, if you're in charge and the others don't exist then what is this for? What's the point? To hurt them? You can't hurt what doesn't exist darlin.. But I'm glad you're getting the help you need.

[@platypusbuk]

my thoughts as well

[@jj111099]

It's just a God complex.

[@lowercase21]

You have a lot to learn if you want to be a psychiatrist.

[@jj111099]

+lowercase21 its legit questions. But again its just a god complex.

[@emmettdonkeydoodle6230]

People are saying it's a God complex, but it's not quite the same. Most of what Autumn and the others say is a big contradiction. I personally doubt she has the disorder

[@skyewheeler202]

Host, you are more powerful than the Controller.

[@GymLeaderIcy]

I'm just so surprised how much control you have over them. I'm surprised that you're able to have your personalities come out if you ask, because in my psychology classes we've learned that people that actually have DID have their personalities come out at random, and that is evident with your negative personalities when they wish to take over, but we never learned that you could control your other positive personalities to take over.

[@imanica791]

+Gym Leader Icy I think that was just a generalization and also an observation relative to circumstance. There are times where she said she has no control over any of the personalities. But especially the personalities that she knows well and are helpful, i can see how she can use her previous triggers to get them to come out

[@emmettdonkeydoodle6230]

If we pretend she is telling the truth, it's possible that the host has no control and Autumn has the control. There are cases where the host becomes almost insignificant compared to the personality. The other ones may emerge with trigger stimulation a or at random

[@ashleyeastwood6932]

I didn't even know I had other personalities until I woke up in strange places or in bad situations that was witnessed by others. My psychiatrist managed to understand them better than I ever will

[@mereldesnayer9956]

you're strong. I can see it in your eyes. Continue fighting please. You deserve it.

[@CrystalNibarger]

wow I can totally tell the difference when you switched from autumn to iris just by the tone in your voice....very cool...also the change in personality

[@123redcookie]

the controller's eyes dialated. heck no ,I was so scared,I'm so sorry you have to be with her.

[@rociorusso8825]

Autumn, there is this guy ,Calogero Grifasi, he puts people under hipnosis and help you to talk to the beings that are attached to your psych , usually are discarnates, dead people, and help you to get rid of them thru your mind and volition, he does it via Skype, He could really help you.

[@elipeeli]

I wish I had Iris to help me when I was sad and wanted to die

[@1andonlyzara]

You had someone like her. Otherwise you would never have gotten over those feelings.

[@elipeeli]

Zachary Matthew James yeah true

[@Lzero7]

Idk why but these comments just made me cry T_T

[@cordeliax8972]

blurry pepe (iknow this is a year ago) but you wouldn't want DID

[@comfortablynumb899]

|-/ same

[@shellyf6482]

I dont want you to think this is a hate comment, I want you to get the help you deserve from your struggles. But a lot of this points to Muchausen Syndrome instead of DID and I hope you consider that option

[@valentinogal781]

I was thinking the exact thing. I highly would encourage her to seek professional help. I am not trying to sound at all mean or negative do to the fact that although i am not a clinical psychiatrist i still do have a mental health background. I am actually concern.

[@nsimba_777]

The controller is a demon inside of a human body manipulating everything...

[@kitanastar7159]

true, its scaryy

[@Vicstoryy]

you must be a catholic

[@nsimba_777]

+Harrymagno004521 I know the comment sounds like it! 😂 But I'm not, don't worry

[@kiwipotato4155]

+Nsimba S. I was thinking the same and I'm not even close to catholic

[@nsimba_777]

Hibari Kawaīī Love Glad I'm not the only one who was thinking that xD

[@Mada_94_]

I had terrible goosebumps when I realised I have the controler self in me

[@TrixieWDavis]

+Maddie C same :|

[@niva2gr]

+Maddie C Everyone does.

[@jonathanbetanco93]

Can you please explain your comment I don't understand

[@Mada_94_]

Jonathan Betanco maybe I should draw you a sketch?

[@Lewis152]

Autumn, you are very good and you know a lot about the behaviors of dissociative disorders. I am a counselor specializing in adult psychiatric disorders and have worked with patients with dissociative disorders. You do not display the characteristics of this illness. All of your factions are too much in control and it is not like this in real life and their personality features are well presented, which you do not see in a clinical setting.

[@char5805]

it's interesting that the controller refers to you as "they", a gender neutral term. Not to be nosy, but does this negative personality carry gender dysphoria?

[@ikemoon127]

Char I thought it was referring to all her personalities as separate, referring to them all as "they".

[@2ndskinshannonhulllmt259]

Char I have not finished this video yet but last one I felt the sexual alter was more masculine/male...expressing very agressively and linear thinking.

[@PostOfficeGlobal]

Could it be that the Controller doesn't actually have any control at all? Perhaps it fears losing control which is why it asserts itself with intimidation and manipulation (including the mind games). When it says it controls everything, even the others... that feels like smoke and mirrors to me. If the others really did not exist as the Controller says, it would be impossible to control someone/a group of people that aren't tangible. When the Controller began repeating their lines of, "take it all away." it felt like it was trying to convince itself more than the viewer. You have come so far with your progress. Autumn, Iris and the Host, be safe and take care of yourselves.

[@cam3275]

I think that there's a part of you that doesn't want to get better. I don't mean this in an ugly way, I just think that's what the "Controller" shows. The controller, doesn't want you to be fully happy. It's the part of you that holds your doubts, that wants you to stay the way you are. The biggest thing is going to be overcoming the controller... once you can get him/her under control, you can truly move on. I hope that you are happy and healthy and love yourself.

[@cam3275]

And by the way... You never have to say you're sorry for transitioning. It isn't your fault.

[@mevelinesans-souci3753]

Right when the controller left the eyes got smaller and the host was back the controller is powerful wow

[@4122631]

when i see you changing personalities and crying it makes me want to help you so bad. i wish i could find a way to stop that.

[@nickwhaling8718]

you are really beautiful... i just thought Id let you knoe that

[@nickwhaling8718]

*know lol oops

[@Anti_0117]

Nick Whaling I thought the same

[@Moniikkah17]

What the hell that was so f**** scary. The energy of the controller was unbearable

[@idkmynamewoopwoop711]

you have cute smile (｡･ω･｡)

[@MauricioPadronS]

The controller scared the shit out of me

[@LatinaKamilla]

You know I gotta say I don't watch your videos often but I have always stayed subscribed to you. Why? Because your channel has to be one of the most UNIQUE/DIFFERENT and INTERESTING channels on #KZbin. Anyone else feel this way?

[@judysalisbury3363]

Totally fake. This person does need help though.

[@carolthompson175]

I find it curious how all the personalities have the same accent and facial expressions. I am halfway through my masters program in psychology, so I have learned a lot about mutliple personality disorder. just seems very strange, because most cases of the disorder have different noticeable traits to each personality. the voice is more villainous, yes, but it's the same as the others, nonetheless.

[@GhGh-ci8ld]

autumn is very noticeably better at explaining herself and speaking than the host is. the host stammers, she always looks disheveled as if she's been crying. the controller has really dialted pupils which is very freaky. and doesnt use contractions for some reason. iris is similar to autumn in that she speaks clearly, not as clear as autumn but clearly. and autumn's tone is much more vibrant and calming and hopeful than the rest.

[@awcvipu2585]

I'm not saying that she's acting up, but all these things that you mentioned are things that you can have control over... I mean it doesn't prove anything.

[@cindeelopez1338]

You’re reading from a script. How can this possibly be real if you’ve pre written all this ??

[@Leo-bk5vf]

I feel like iris is lying slightly, I don't know what about but I just have this gut feeling about it...

[@mistah6898]

I feel like this whole thing is a bit of a lie

[@zebeylin1707]

You can hear that their voices are each slightly different, it's kinda spooky

[@juicebox9940]

its not spooky, she's literally just changing the tone of her voice. its acted, kiddy.

[@MrSirLord]

Just looking in her eyes i can tell shes telling the truth dont ask why

[@Joxii]

That doesn't make sense. You'd have to look at somebody's whole face to determine if they were lying and even then you wouldn't be able to tell unless you really knew what to look for.

[@tapanga7657]

BlueFire2712 its easy to tell just by her actions

[@ViralXQ]

Her pupils