Relationships with Alters: A Partner’s Perspective

[@Kat-eb4ck]

“I am the husband and best friend” This is how every marriage should be. It’s beautiful.

[@kayladanis3017]

That sentance hit me the most out of everything he said. We should be married to our best friend ..sadly so many couples can barely call them selves friends any more..all I can say is relationship goals right there.

[@Kat-eb4ck]

Kayla Danis exactly! And I’m so glad that Jess and the boys have somebody so amazing in their lives!

[@soulcurls4146]

I assumed that he was referring to the alters with this description. Husband of Jess, best friend to the boys.

[@katiehorneshaw995]

Soulcurls I think that both interpretations are probably correct, but I’m sure he did say it to clarify that he has different relationships with different alters.

[@hallwnby]

Awh

[@sarahnahinudicks]

“Explain it to me, so I can understand better” the dream statement for anyone who struggles with a mental illness

[@min_nad]

Yes! One of my partners even agreed to go to therapy with me

[@mysmirandam.6618]

Yess

[@Ayyaii24]

As someone with autism, it's so genuinely liberating that my partner is receptive and understanding of my condition. To say i love that man is an understatement. If you care, you'll make it work, and you'll be there for the person you care about.

[@AbsoluteTiger]

Who struggles with anything outside of the “normal”

[@J_e_s_s]

Yesss! CPTSD here and my boyfriend is absolutely amazing. It is hard at times but as time goes on we learn to communicate better and it gets easier. I hope everyone finds someone that WANTS to understand them.

[@jelatinosa]

Wow. And some guys can't even deal with slight hormonal mood swings in a lady.

[@aetherdemigod]

So true. Gaz is such a great husband and dad😭💞

[@nolimits300]

Guy's.....you are joking right?May one day we found out aliens but we never but never we (the man's) gonna find out all of those

[@KristenLB]

Amen to that. These videos give everyone hope and encourage you to wait for the best person for you and to not settle because you deserve to and can be accepted wholly by the right person.

[@fractal_mind562]

So true, this guys out here kissing guys for the cause ! That's dedication

[@3rin649]

No Limits elaborate pls

[@ajaku]

"I've got people living in my head." "Okay, when can I meet them?" Ohh my heart! 😍😭 if only we could all find a partner like this.

[@eliaskorf4747]

Ikr! We just got a girlfriend and I'm terrified to tell her we're a system 😓

[@SmokeyRoseWolf]

I told my partner I was assaulted and raped and he assaulted and raped me 😂 agh. I’ll find this one day.

[@sugarcandy654]

@@SmokeyRoseWolf wait....WAAT?!?! r u serious? Are u okay??

[@abzee14]

@@SmokeyRoseWolf And that's on coping with trauma by using humor 🤘

[@isobel6739]

@@eliaskorf4747 hey, I was wondering if you'd told your girlfriend yet. It's none of my business but I wish your system and her well!

[@kristeenam130]

"Dont expect them to sleep with you" Oh my goodness, as a system myself this is important

[@pisceandreamer3]

So much yes to this!

[@lollic307]

A system? Do you think it is possible to create personalities throughout life...after traumas

[@josefine635]

Lauren carl DID can only be developed in childhood during repeated trauma, as the personality of a child is not yet fully formed. If you are an adult and have experienced trauma and you don’t have DID before you won’t develop if now. However if you have DID and have additional trauma happen, a new alter can split.

[@scarlethays6284]

@@thanostitan5827 wtf like firstly he isn't the multiplicity. Also, it's those guys' business how they manage their relationships/boundaries- not mine, yours or anybody else's. P.s there is a lot of professional proof and scientific study/analysis of DID and OSDD and both are officially recognised by most major sources

[@scarlethays6284]

@@thanostitan5827 ok to the first two: 1. Creators on the internet may feel comfortable sharing some things but not others, or only talking about things to a certain extent. 2. I personally have heard of many different types of systems but there are different factors that affect the ratio e.g the female gender (of the host) more likely to experience certain types of traumatic abuse or certain general demographics have less acsess to diagnosis/treatment.

[@topkekm8817]

Gaz's old photos with the scene hair are so iconic

[@elisabethw7040]

Looks like young Shane Dawson omg.

[@bibrosko]

HONESLTY

[@thenubivagantsytem4239]

Elizabeth Wong don’t even say that lmao 😂

[@thenubivagantsytem4239]

Sorry, it “W” not Wong. Autocorrect.

[@tipsybass7060]

I was thinking the same thing.. and then.. do I know these people? Lol

[@tarakelly8640]

Ok youtube I'm not mad about this being in my recommended

[@nathantripathy]

I got excited.

[@guardianalways5239]

The other four people that occupy you requested it.

[@2111jade]

Same. Lol

[@sweiland75]

Why would any rational person get upset over a recommendation??

[@hannahbanana4751]

Same

[@totallweirdo5040]

Lmfao imagine Ollie being 9 months pregnant 😭😂😭😂 Ollie: "ever see a 13 year old pregnant boy?" Stranger: "what?? No?" Ollie: "lol. K"

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

Fair 😂

[@marcellemccalla6325]

That image just had me howling. I just rewatched the Ollie's day episode so I'm literally seeing him just being so upfront and adorable about it. 😂😄

[@Lia_s.]

This is one of the funniest comments I’ve ever read 😂😂😂

[@logandanger6163]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@claire-mariemason711]

I can imagine its acuttuly terrifying

[@KayleeKat]

Gaz: If Jake is editing this- Jake: :o)

[@superphantom100]

KayleeKat of course he is I’m pretty sure he is always editing these video because he been in enough movies to know how it’s done. I would love to see some of those movies like Ollie suggested, but sadly we can’t witness how good of ant actor Jake is and I’m sad about that.

[@superphantom100]

Draco from what I understand Jake is an actor and celebrity in the inner world.

[@Mel-me9sw]

@@superphantom100 I know this was a month ago, but if you've seen the new upload then *eyes emoji*

[@superphantom100]

Mel I have ,that was surprising

[@HonestMagpie]

Two of my friends just “came out” to me as being systems. Having known one of them for almost nine years online, and one of them dating the other, I have never felt more like a golden retriever. My biggest feeling at the time to me was “OMG! There’s MORE FRIEND in my friends???” I do my best to learn and remember how to address them. :)

[@CasuallyCruelCrushesClub]

"There's more friends in my friends?" That is hands down one of the most wholesome and adorable things I've ever heard!!!!!

[@gaylord_gremlin]

"More friend in my friends" im crying i wish every person was like you!! im sure your friends and the friends in your friends really appreciate you

[@fbi1083]

"More friends in my friends" is sooo cute that just made me smile bro, really made my day

[@TheHomesteadingHobbit]

If all husbands had 1/10 of the character that you have, all marriages would be near perfect. Thank you for taking such good care of Jess and the guys. You are one in a million, Gaz.

[@Ser_Jorah]

Except the many relationships where the wife is the problem

[@annabelcrescibene4257]

The Modest Hobbit +

[@christianone6611]

I was just thinking the same thing. I've never seen this channel before but this guy is AMAZING. I wish all guys came with these incredible qualities. Wonderful, wonderful wonderful.

[@tinakushner1758]

@@Ser_Jorah "The wife is the problem"? I think there's always 2 to the problem

[@MiuXiu]

Except he’s putting out the very best parts of himself on the internet. No couple is anywhere close to perfect. It’s a sweet sentiment it’s just not realistic

[@ryan-qx8xg]

Ive been dating my boyfriend for a little over 6 months now and he has DID and actually sent me this video. I love learning about him, his alters, and anything I can do to make him feel more like himself (whether he's Tate or an alter), which is why he sent me this video. I love Tate and the boys and love meeting and interacting with him and all his alters (and I can't wait to meet more of his alters) and all I was really wanting to say with this comment is that this video is helpful. It's nice seeing and getting advice from someone in a similar situation as me, thank you for this video :) also , this is the first video I've seen from this channel and Jess and the boys seem really cool so I can't wait to binge a bunch of these videos

[@SpecialBlanket]

>anything I can do to make him feel more like himself (whether he's Tate or an alter) so, he is never going to "be" one of the other alters. he IS an alter. all of the people are alters of eachother. like, you may not use this language, but that's ultimately what it is.

[@radiatorbacon5239]

@@SpecialBlanket she means validating the current identity he holds at that moment. Like not trying to force him to be just one of his alters all the time and he can feel free to actually be himself.

[@mohammadherati8067]

@@Sloppyzombiez2000z-yk7kb hi:) did you mean to write "through me" or "to me"? Like are you saying the alters are in a system which is not you or are they inside of you and talking through you?

[@Sloppyzombiez2000z-yk7kb]

@@mohammadherati8067 though me

[@helenarosno]

Idk anyone with DID irl, I just wanted to reply... memento mori...

[@Aylabunnykat]

Has there been a video made on how the Boys reacted to Jess being pregnant? I would be so interested in learning their thoughts on that whole process.

[@jenesse1432]

Melissa Sullivan I believe Jess said she was the one who gave birth. She said that the boys were no where to be found lol or something along those lines 😂

[@jennlynn212]

Melissa Sullivan in other videos some of the boys have said they have very bad body dysphoria being in a woman’s body so I don’t think Jess would ever make them go through the experience of THEM personally having the baby, that would literally be like an adult man physically giving birth. and as a mom Jess probably wanted that for herself. That was probably an easy thing to agree upon for all of them haha

[@Aylabunnykat]

I was meaning like a video on their experiences and thoughts during the pregnancy, not the actual birthing.

[@samanthacoulter2323]

They actually do have a video! It’s on the channel posted five months ago so you have to scroll a little, but it’s titled “We’ve had a baby!” It’s a livestream but contains a lot of the information and stories you’re asking about :)

[@jennlynn212]

Audrey Holmes we were all replying to the person who commented asking about the actual birthing, sorry!

[@sanctusignis9746]

Where do people find men like this? WHERE?!!! May you and your wife stay blessed.

[@MortyTheReaper]

Good guys,normal girls refuse xD

[@sammykeyes1087]

Wales, UK

[@kittykatt6740]

In the friend zone usually

[@gunnerjax9012]

Kitty Katt who hurt you bro?

[@acetheunibear3371]

@@kittykatt6740 fax

[@J_Mirae]

2:00 That smile and "You bastard" gave me Loki vibes.

[@cheche9949]

I LOVE LOKI AAAAAA

[@wifiwulf]

iiMusa that cracked me up way more than it probably should have

[@kellyemsorry8198]

Yoo so true

[@tangent7078]

jake's little editing text :O was so cute lmao

[@iffanf9178]

If my future husband isn't like this, I don't want a husband at all

[@chuppachups9939]

Good luck then 🤣

[@TR-kn3sn]

oof

[@caroliinalopes]

As you should! Don't settle

[@heatherperiod6639]

@@chuppachups9939 uhhh this is a dumb take. I don't have DID but at almost 30, I recently found out I have adhd and my husband has been AMAZING!! Taking time to learn about it without me, picking up all my slack without resenting me for it, dealing with my break down about finding out and now dealing with me trying to get help. @Iffa Nf don't listen to that person and NEVER settle! You are worth it 💙

[@chuppachups9939]

@@heatherperiod6639 Uh please don't misinterpret what I'm saying. You can't judge a person until you have proof she's really here for you and you for her when hard times come. It's a bet on life. And choosing a partner based on their ability to tell words one wants to hear or to take care of themselves is in my opinion one's foolish wish. That is what I wanted to say.

[@metalfairywings]

I don’t have DID, and am not aware that I’ve met anyone with DID, but this was so so comforting. This made me feel very loved and calm! So I bet this is even more comforting for someone with DID. Sending love ❤️

[@ashleyblachowski5297]

❤️

[@guidingkeyblade7834]

Same with me. I don't have DID, nor do I know any systems personally, but I just like learning about this. It fascinates me for some reason.

[@fbi1083]

@@guidingkeyblade7834 same tbh, its so intresting, but the thought of having it gives me anxiety and panic attacks at night.. its a severe issue, Its the desire for knowledge thats devouring me, sorry for making this sound dramatic, have a good day.

[@jaspriest1997]

“Don’t be an asshole, be a nice person” - tbh that’s fantastic general advice for life Gaz

[@maskedgirlinblack1621]

This is seriously the first time I have listened to someone who truly understands that doesn't have DID/alters. Really well put and I am soooo happy you found each other. You're made for each other. Thank you so much for such great content.

[@zeddy2284]

0:49 holy he'll you guys have been together for a long time because that HAAAAIIIRRR belongs in the past oh my god

[@vampcatassassin]

his hair grew shorter after every image

[@deannapokora2959]

When you got married to Jess, did any alters come out to enjoy the day?

[@laykantheealien5722]

I'm sure Ed at least did

[@amy-bethtaylor2656]

Oh my gosh, what a good and interesting question! Now I want to know too 😂.

[@georgerobins4110]

Peachy Keen I’m pretty sure Jess said that there was a lot of switching that day lol

[@esperanza4434]

I have ADHD and I've gotten so much rejection and misunderstanding that I've questioned severely the possibility that someone might love me in a romantic relationship just for who I am with my handicaps, but honestly, if this man can love and talk so passionately about someone who has a way more confusing disorder than mine, I think I have no more excuses to not having hope for myself! Thank you!!! ❤️

[@phoebe9705]

I’m glad I read your comment I have a disorder and that is one of my fears... that no one will love me.

[@Latabrine]

So 2 things when it came to seriously dating someone for me.. 1- I would tell them right at the beginning about my ADD. Almost all scoffed at it or thought it was a made up thing that people didn't have. I would say " just wait lol! 2- I sure made a believer outta them in a short amount of time! Most were kind and understanding and thought it was quirky:) I also found that they were patient with me. Soo don't worry, when you're in love (both!) It won't matter!

[@whitetigerbon9478]

Same here! I also have adhd and my girlfriend has helped me alot!

[@SallyWaters24]

I am married to a guy with ADHD and we've been together for 9 years. He was diagnosed young but there was a lot he'd never learnt about it so we learned more together. It's definitely possible!

[@celticcheetah6371]

I am a woman with ADHD. Diagnosed late at 26. Met my boyfriend a year ago at 28. He has been amazing. So kind and understanding. Honestly he is sometimes more Accepting of my ADHD quirks than I am!

[@ss6311]

My partner has alters, and the thing I struggle with is knowing they had to go through something so terrible. Like, it really hurts me inside. It hurts to know that because of someone else's pure selfishness, my partner has to suffer so much. And it's not even their fault. They wouldn't be traumatized, sad, derealized all the time if it weren't for someone else's deliberate actions and THAT hurts. When I first met my partner, neither of us knew they had alters. But something happened back in May which caused three of the alters to come out and that's when memories started surfacing as well, etc. Getting used to their alters was hard, yes, but I respect each one - even the ones neither of us have met yet - and understand why they are here and why a few of them don't exactly trust me (or anybody, really). Getting used to their alters wasn't the hardest part though. It was knowing they were so hurt. Knowing they didn't HAVE to be hurt, but were. It hurts my heart so, so much, sometimes all I can do is sit there and cry. This year is hard, but your videos really give me hope that things will smooth out. These videos are so, so endlessly helpful.

[@americanalways1394]

Purple Pen Please read my comments. You are not alone. The fear and pain can be immense Hang in there

[@kim2306]

Hey there, see you posted this months ago. Hope you and your loved one are all the better!

[@OdeeBee]

Same. I'm crying so hard. This really helped me.

[@jocelynpadilla9194]

Hey i hope you guys are still doing ok💜

[@Sophie-vw5ol]

Hey, how youre doing know? If its ok i ask 🙈

[@aresstenger935]

BEEP BEEP gaz: 🙄 you BASTARD that was the most gaz thing ive ever seen gaz do

[@georgerobins4110]

Ares Stenger I literally read this as that clip played lmao

[@michaeln5078]

I think that “don’t be an asshole” really sums things up well. It’s about treating alters like people and appreciating them for who they are and what they did (and continue to do) to help the system. So as an example, don’t do what my father in law did in a therapy session with my husband (who has DID) - don’t ask the therapist “how do we get rid of the alters?”. I said “you know they can hear you, right?” So yes I think “don’t be an asshole” and treat every one in the system with respect and understanding - those are good places to start.

[@veray685]

I hope some day DID will be accepted by people and communities.-Melina/Stacy

[@visszhang27]

I would just like to say that the reaction of "okay, when do I get to meet them?" Almost made me cry... Everyone needs to be more like this. Everyone needs to be more supportive and more accepting of what we do not understand. Not just men. Women too. Wow. Amazing. Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful human being.

[@joyousjae3644]

My partner has DID. We've known this for about 2 years now, been married for 9. I have yet to formally meet anyone else. I want to, but we were living with his abusers when we figured it out, so none of them felt safe. I'm going that since we have our own place now, they'll come out more. He cofronts with all of them anyway, so I've seen him switch, but never met anyone else.

[@AmyAndThePup]

2:00 I laughed so hard. xD My boyfriend and I have this unspoken rule that if littles are near, there's no sexual goings-on. Same with teens. And it is so freaking cool that we have this understanding, and it wasn't something I had to ask him to do--he just got it. Oh, and, the first couple months we were living together, holy cow I was switchy. Everyone was coming out to check him out, make sure he was safe to be around. And no, it wasn't instant. I just remember that time in particular because there was sooo much switching and getting a feel for who he is as a person.

[@kaymullen3415]

I do have a question: does it get tricky maintaining relationships with the boys if say yourself and Jess have a disagreement or vice versa?

[@poppysquids]

as a partner of a system; I've had a fight with my partner and then the headmate that fronted after they were too angry to maintain front was absolutely livid in my place. he agreed with my side of the argument and it actually took a few weeks after for him to talk to the host again. It really depends on the people involved

[@katiehorneshaw995]

Wow. This opens up so many questions. Like, do you ever have bitch sessions with alters about other alters? Haha. Or, do you ever find that several alters are angry at one other alter?

[@12miah]

@@poppysquids I kind of love this and it made me giggle a little since it was really sweet that the alter that fronted after took your side. I can see how it could be hard but that must have made it a little easier for you to talk to him about why you both agreed and what you felt the host disagreed on and their reasoning. Hope they have sorted everything out and are both talking to one another again.

[@poppysquids]

@@12miah Yeah it's been a while since that argument happened. The alter was also angry about a specific thing he thought involved him, but the host hadnt thought of it that way so it was a big misunderstanding there. It all turned out okay tho :)

[@avreclione]

@Melissa Sullivan As the SO of a system too.. I do appreciate the break but not a lot since my bf's alter comes out either when my bf feels really really sad/tired or when I ask for it, so whenever we have a fight or a disagreement and his alter comes out (who's also my couple) I can't enjoy his presence because I know my bf is hurt His alter used to hate us, A. LOT., but now we took the time to talk and the only thing he hates now is seeing me sad, so he always say "I'll help you two get better" I love them so much, they're my sunshine

[@katherineromaine6087]

Can I just say how clear your accent is? It was such a pleasure to listen to you. You could be a esl teacher or do voiceovers. Seriously, man, apart from being a great human, you have a bomb voice

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

Ahh thank you 😊

[@thedualitysystem]

God, why can't we find our own Gaz? Everything was very well said in this. The most important thing for us is that we're all treated as different people. The easiest way to get us to like you is by treating us all differently and letting us be ourselves around you.

[@friendlypiranha774]

Prophet of Duality, so well said👍

[@2111jade]

Pretty much yeah. One of us messed up friendships we've had in the past on purpose cos we were scared

[@janestauss1057]

You will find someone who accepts all of you exactly as you are!! and every single one of you deserves nothing less! You are each wonderful, unique, individual people who deserves someone who will learn everything they can about each of you. That person will come along eventually 💕

[@gabriellebarnard707]

Thank you so much! My Mama recently discovered she has DID and you are the best role model I’ve found for how to be there for her.

[@AnxietyWar]

I love your shirt

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

(I've passed on your compliments! Thank you for the comment :D Your channel is amazing! Please keep doing what you're doing!)

[@chocoais6601]

Whaat didn't expect to find you here

[@seignee]

:0 HES HERE

[@mysmirandam.6618]

Yep

[@kandie3127]

💗 Anxiety Wars, I love how I see you in the most seemingly random places!🥳🥰

[@snowyowlz5992]

It was 16 years into our relationship (14 years married 1978 - 1992 before we knew) when we found out my wife had DID just after we got a Restraining Order against her mother and grandmother, went No Contact. We were married 43 years when she passed away 2 years ago. You’ve done a great job informing.

[@TheEntropySystem]

Fantastically put, Gaz. Thank you for such a great video. I'm glad Jess and the boys have someone as amazing as you in their life. -Wyn

[@imid3440]

The Entropy System ❤️

[@purplepixi18]

It's like one of those pens that you twist and another color comes out. I love those pens.

[@slug7795]

That’s… actually a really cool allegory!

[@thatlemonarson6269]

This is so sweet, and very informative! Great video as always!!

[@georgiamiller3793]

Fellow kiwis 😬 Kia ora

[@yoongisminthair3693]

Ayyyyyyyye other kiwis😂

[@ashdoesstuff5544]

Following right away! As a person whose partner has D.I.D I really needed this. I’m learning more and more every day and trying to understand and build relationships with their alters. It’s one of the most complicated things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world ❤️

[@bennyton2560]

you must be lucky to have each other. best of luck!

[@FFKING1140]

"we snogged, bet you didn't call that one" I did, because Jamie mentioned it before too, I think

[@blackkhaisee4956]

Ik you aren’t going to read this but I want to say thank you for making this video, I just got into a relationship with someone who does have DID, and I was on the verge of ending it already cuz it felt just, not what I signed up for basically haha, but I kinda thought more I should understand more and I wanted to keep this going and this is a great kind of explanation on how I should be, obviously my experience will be completely different, but this kind of sets me on the path to doing the right things in this relationship. So once again, thank you for making this video

[@MB-tr2nb]

I'm totally addicted to DissociaDID and there are a lot of references to your channel. This is the first video I watched. It was impressive and incredible!!!!!!

[@ohno-cz6jb]

Morgan Van Tassel me too!

[@teresagg9809]

My first vid as well

[@opalindigo2984]

Same here ahah

[@HelloXrancidkitteh]

DissociaDID and MultiplicityAndMe are definitely my faves in the youtuber DID community and both very informative. both systems are good friends with eachother too [:

[@gwinnellheald8592]

Same!

[@bazinga4034]

Gaz should have his own channel, I could listen to him for hours

[@ashkley8915]

It was great to hear your perspective, we have always gotten clips here or there but this sit down was nice! I would be interested in hearing more from your perspective as a partner to a system. It would also be cool to hear from the boys perspective their first impressions of you and how they met you etc. You mentioned with some alters it can take awhile for them to accept a partner and I was interested if there was any moment that stuck out to any of the boys that made them think “alright he’s a good guy I’ll accept him as a friend and for Jess” and their first impressions of you. It would also be nice to hear how the boys are fairing with the baby! When they first officially met her and if they have any special bonding moments or funny moments with her or with you in regards to being parents now!

[@bluefiredemon6667]

This is helpful to send to a partner. If i had known about this video I would have sent it to my ex boyfriend when we were dating. His first reaction to me having undiagnosed D.I.D. was that I faking it and called Erin, our primary protector, an insufferable prick after meeting him once. Now he has an even harder time trusting people I date. Sorry for the minor rant but I felt it was relevant.

[@natm2443]

I love that the overall message is to not be a jerk 😂😂 This was so interesting. I really enjoyed hearing your insight, Gaz 😊

[@GazInTheBackground]

I mean, that's pretty much it lol

[@octavia88]

That's like generally, in life. Always a good advice... To be nice and not an asshole...

[@killkrys]

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for this video. I my self have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder and i’m still new to it all in a way so it’s been very hard for me to explain it to my boyfriend (he’s supper sweet and supportive though i just don’t know how to deal with it ig) but he has met a lot of my alters and this is just the absolute perfect video and you’re so good to her (or they/them) my boyfriend learned a lot form this and so did i you guys are amazing thank you again!

[@bimbunanna]

"When do I get to meet them?" He is an absolute gem.

[@qweed54]

Idk how this ended up in my recommended videos but I’m always down to learn how to treat people different than me with kindness and understanding. I learned a lot from this! THANKS KZbin 💕

[@keleidoscope3564]

Omg Gaz!! You are such an awesome partner/friend! Wish all of us with DID had our own "Gaz" Thanks for the video.

[@Uniquely-Unoriginal]

I don't have DID but I do have a variety of mental illnesses and I wish I had my own "Gaz"!

[@kyau3757]

We have a partner a bit like gaz lol she's really supportive and understanding as she has tourettes as well

[@alexschwartz7967]

I'm trying to be the best partner I can to my boyfriend and his system

[@kayleethacker1085]

I find this SO fascinating. The way the mind works is so incredible and so mind blowing. I never even thought about what it must be like to be a partner to someone with DID. This is so sweet though. What an incredible husband and such a cute and adorable little family. I love his understanding and that he tries to understand and be as accommodating as possible to make it easier for his wife and all her alters. It’s precious. ❤️

[@rhiannonsmith8670]

How did the boys deal with jess being pregnant?

[@RandomChat15]

I was thinking the same thing!

[@bangchan_sonyeondan_dopil4960]

Oh Lord imagine being one of the boys (fronting) and looking down to see a huge belly with a baby in it

[@saragarofano9727]

@@bangchan_sonyeondan_dopil4960 ftms

[@vexcetera]

This really gives us hope that we can find someone to really be a friend to us as well. Not even a partner necessarily but just a good friend who wants to understand us in real life. We only recently discovered we were a system so it's really nice to see a person so willing to help and understand. This is actually our first video on this channel that we've seen, but we'll have to check out more of your channel because a lot of our favorite youtubers with DID highly recommend it. We wouldn't have commented all this until we saw you liked a comment from only a week ago, and man that really shows us you care and continue to come back and check this stuff. Thanks for giving us hope Gaz.

[@georgerobins4110]

Honestly, Gaz and M&M are so amazing together. You can tell that Gaz adores them and they all adore Gaz and it's just so beautiful to see love in all shapes and forms, honestly.

[@hillmidget1326]

Your emo hair game was on a god lvl...

[@kj-sf4md]

I really liked the the pictures from the past. This whole video is just so sweet. Gaz, you are every bit as unique and special as Jess and the boys. Thank you for sharing a spouse's perspective. 💞

[@Aidensnow_]

Watching this I have chills 😭😭 you can just see it in his eyes how sincere he cares for y’all. It makes me happy that you have that support 💕

[@MegaMagicGoat]

"Be a nice person, don't be an arsehole" - fantastic life advice there tbh 😂

[@Venus_froggo1]

this popped up in my recommended after me starting to watch dissosiadid and I think I watched a video by this channel before where a male alter fronted and this guy just walked over and asked if he wanted a cuppa and I'm glad that was my first exposure to DID as its always stigmatized.

[@anewdayfresh1237]

Wow, your such a lovely person, so glad jess and the boy's found you. 😊, so understanding. Your new family have the perfect foundation's for a great future xxx

[@holzschwein0]

my fiance has DID as well. it really is such a journey. we didn't talk about it for a long time in detail, and i think that was my fault, because I was kind of scared of how to deal with just completely different people and that I'd do something wrong. but then it actually started with me meeting the littles first and it's been a WONDERFUL journey from here. i adore the two girls a lot. with the two adults I'm not having as much contact, but with the eldest I'm recently starting forming a connection. he's been very hesitant until now and mostly just doesn't talk or do anything when he's fronting, but, funnily enough, last time i was taking a shower with my fiance when a trigger happened and he fronted to stop the flashback. and then we were taking the rest of the shower together which was truly HILARIOUS. I'm so glad I'm getting to know more of who my fiance is, that i see how healing it is to her to talk with the alters, and I'm so appreciative of how they're each able to protect and help her in a different way. I'm glad i watched this video, it spoke to all of how I'm seeing our relationship as well.

[@Blaze_936]

If one of the alters developed a romantic interest in a new person, how would you react?

[@marissasypek5133]

sometimes it happens, but most of the time the host is the one who has the relationships & the alters are the support system. also someone with alters can also date another person with alters & the alters can date another persons alter. edit: sometimes their own alters date their alters.

[@hymn3539]

Marissa Sypek yeap, but it’d be so cool to date multiple ppl bc of certain alters, like one of the polyam relationship types..

[@InKpOeT]

@@marissasypek5133 has anyone ever dated the alter while the self was in a relationship?

[@marissasypek5133]

@@InKpOeT yes, it has happened. but it doesn't usually work out because things change over time and the host is prominent

[@InKpOeT]

@@marissasypek5133 what does that mean the host is prominent?

[@busybeingafangirl]

My best friend, who I’ve known for about 6 years now has alters and while I’m not romantically involved with any of them because she’s married, this is how I’ve tried to make sure I approach everyone that’s come along over the years. Its honestly like having 4 best friends in 1 and I’m truly lucky to have all of them. Because even just for my mental health, they all play such an important role of helping me through my not so strong days ❤️

[@OneSongCloser]

In terms of your lovely child (first time seeing them, they're so precious!!) how do you approach parenting? I'm sure each alter has their own style, it must be difficult to determine what is best with multiple voices in the conversation! More specifically though, how are you going to raise them in regards to DID? Are you going to completely normalize it to your child, letting Jess' alters come and go as normal? Or will they front as Jess around age 1 or 2 or so, just when they're developing the understanding of what might be going on, until they're at a conceptual age to understand DID? Thank you so much for the lovely video Gaz, very informative, and really shows your devotion and love to your wife and her alters. I'm so glad to see Jess has someone as supportive and caring as you!!

[@kintore6718]

I think they’ve mentioned at some point that they’re going to just raise her as normal and let the alters switch whenever they normally would.

[@katiehorneshaw995]

I wouldn’t see any issue with just switching as normal. After all, it takes a village to raise a child! Children are actually adapted to being raised by a community- it’s very modern and western to have one person doing the major bulk of the rearing

[@tamarynleighwilkinson9324]

I messaged them on insta asking this but no response as yet

[@nearlystuck6947]

In the video about us guessing which alter is pretending to be Jess, she said they all try to be her around the baby to give baby a more stable childhood. But when she gets older and able to understand more will talk about it.

[@bethanyhartzell1360]

My parents didn’t tell me until I watched my mom switch as a teenager, and asked my step dad about it.

[@Winterwitch4477]

You're an awesome man (and an awesome couple!! ♥). My hubby left because I have (diagnosed) PTSD and OCD (from my childhood). Hurts when you know you can't be loved because you're broken...I love your love and understanding and commitment and... it's just beautiful. Much love from 🇨🇦

[@Clube_do_meiodia1]

this says more about your ex-husband than it does about you. Every part of a person is a beautiful thing and it takes effort to love people. And every worthy grown up should know that.

[@Anna-cu7iz]

You aren’t broken love, you’re hurting and are feeling the effects of what your brain did to keep you safe and as comfortable as possible. That’s an adaptive strength, even when it doesn’t feel like it! If someone doesn’t appreciate all of you and why you are the way you are, they don’t deserve to be in your life. You deserve to be lifted up by people who love and respect you and I hope you find that!!

[@amandavandewalle3514]

Sorry, just have to chime in as well. Just because your ex couldn't handle your needs doesn't make either of you broken or unable to be loved. It just means you aren't right for each other. I was with someone for 4 years when they decided they couldn't handle me. Turns out I was in the early stages of developing a chronic illness. I met my now husband a year and a half later and even at my worst, he never thought of leaving me because he knows that I am not my diagnosis. Even my parents couldn't believe how much he does for me at my worst when they had to take over when he had a work trip, yet he still chose to marry me. You just have to find the right person who loves you in spite of your diagnosis. Take some time and learn to love your new sense of self, and the rest will follow in its own time.

[@creed3782]

painted daisy no need to go into details.. the other comments said it perfectly.. just wanted to send you LOVEEEEEEEE.... u deserve it and worth it 💜💜💜💜

[@clairebarwick884]

painted daisy you’re not broken! :)

[@honnylore181]

"Be nice... Don't be an *sshole." SAY I LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACC! 👏 👏 👏

[@georgiebradford313]

Gaz: I’m not perfect John Cena: Are you sure about that?

[@katepyle9697]

Gaz, you are amazing! My daughter was recently diagnosed with DID and, I hope she can meet someone as amazing as you to share her journey.

[@shaunnemour1016]

Hey brother. My girlfriend has D.I.D and I've been learning new things everyday since finding out. Not to mention I was the first to question an alter with "who are you" which ultimately caused the rest of them to start appearing and talking. It's been almost 2 months since I met the first and shared the discovery with her family, which also brought me a lot closer to them and my partner. My question is, how should I approach the few alters which are very angry and have a deep hate for men? I approach them with love and calmness, however, because they are angry, they try anything to harm my partner and need to be restrained at times. I want to earn their trust, but I don't know how to. Appreciate any feedback and if you do make a video could you keep my name completely confidential in respect to my partner and family. Thank you

[@HannahUmm]

Honestly continue being kind. It takes time

[@jenniferelyse5134]

Thank you for this. I wish I had seen it sooner! I have BPD and dissociative episodes when under stress. It’s never been met with kindness. Usually people will conflate it with narcissism and they take off. I truly wish there were more people like you.

[@bearrnabas]

You sound like a WONDERFUL husband! Understanding, willing to listen, adapting to change. You should be proud, and I'm sure Jess is of you too. It helped me to know how she came out to you because THAT --- multiple scenarios of that--keep playing in my own mind about this moment when I come out to a potential partner. I can only hope that they deal with it with even half as much understanding and patience as you did. Thank you both! :)

[@handsomeb.dragon-beardeddr6296]

I love how you shared that they all cannot be expected to preform sexually and how it's because one is a straight male... I'm a multiple. It's so difficult. Thank you. Compassion, acceptance- nobody asked for this

[@epcza13]

You are an amazing human being. I’m so happy Jess and her system have you as a strong supporter. My husband has done the same for me for my mental health issues. His patience with me for the past 7-8 years really shows me how much he loves me. I can tell you really love Jess and her system by being so patient with them. Not many people would be willing to live a harder life if they don’t need to. People like you and my husband truly put in the effort and are wonderful people. ❤️

[@LovingLioness]

Thank you for being so open. This has really helped me in my relationship with my daughter and her alters (I just found out 2 days ago that she has alters, so I have a lot to learn to be able to support her in the best way possible)

[@katie18976]

You are such a positive, kind, compassionate and caring person, Jess is very lucky to have you. I wish you both lots of love, understanding and happiness for many years to come! ❤🤗❤️

[@hilaryelizabeth4644]

He is so passionate about this and I love how understanding he is

[@jadynvaughan9971]

I think it would be cool to see a video of the boys perspective of being pregnant.

[@courtneylittleton3752]

Jess, Eviee, & the boys are lucky to have you & in the same sense you are just as lucky to have them. I can't say enough how happy it makes me to know that your treating them all with the love & respect they deserve. Thank you Gaz! Best wishes to the whole family! ❤

[@faerychains8951]

This is not to be rude at all, but I applaud how immediately understanding you were to it. Even now, hearing about DID is so surreal to me it feels almost story like and fake (of course I know it’s not) but back then, when even she didn’t knew the name of it you understood instantly. The connection between all of you is amazing

[@marq6929]

Thank you so much! My partner has done really well so far on instinct alone, but I've been on the lookout for videos or other resources to share with him that might help him understand or to feel like he's not alone in what I assume must be a kind of tricky and sometimes difficult relationship. This is the first thing I will actually be sharing with him, and I really hope you do future videos to help build up a community for singlet partners of plurals. I can't really imagine (even though I try) what challenges it presents, but I do worry and thus I hope they get the same chance to feel understood and to learn about this disorder that we get thanks to Jess and all the others 🖤🧡

[@lizzthatvegan1207]

This is awesome! Thank you for creating this video. It's so helpful for me. I used to work at a school with a kid who has DID. If he would show frustration the first thing we'd ask is "who am I speaking with right now?" because every alter needed a different approach and some alters got along better with certain staff. He was such a joy to work with and I miss him very much.

[@photohotjock]

THANK YOU I am just starting this cross country trip with the person I am in love with. We are together now for 10 years. 4 months ago her DID came to the forefront. Now it's time to start the living, loving, learning.

[@isabellawright4365]

I’m so glad I found this. My friend that I have been flirting with and talking to had a breakdown earlier today and I met one of his alters. We never had the chance to discuss it before this happened and I’ve always been overwhelmed around people with DID but I really want to do the best I can as I pursue my relationship with the host

[@CitronnelleCiphy]

Thank you, Gaz! I'm quite in a similar position myself, 2 years and counting. Couldn't agree more with everything you said. Just keep an open mind, accept and treat everyone as separate people, be nice, friendly and trustworthy, respect the boundaries. And everything will work out just fine. And yes, it's a crazy road trip with no map, but it sure spices up the life, doesn't it?

[@cottonlatte]

My older brother has been diagnosed with DID and Schizophrenia. A week ago one of the alters named Jennifer reached out to me, she said hello to me. It was very sweet. Thank you for posting this video and educating me

[@kathyf.2002]

You are awesome! Jess and her system have found such a wonderful person in you. Many would not be so accepting. I wish you all nothing but happiness together.

[@alyishachallis2448]

I’ve seen this before but I keep watching these videos again because I love seeing Gaz and Jess and the boys 😭😭

[@stalinman1]

This is a really great video, especially for S/O's that are new. My wife's alters all started coming out a month ago, and I really wish I'd have found something like this, then. This video is accurate and calming and helpful for perspective. I really wish I'd have had some guidance and knowledge, going in. Thank you for posting this! It is much needed!

[@RomyElizabeth]

Wow, Gaz is truly a great person with beyond lovely energy. Such an interesting video & information as well. Sending you guys all the love!

[@ciciadamson8166]

This is literally #relationshipgoals Jess, ed, Jamie, jake & Ollie you guys are all so very lucky to have such a non judgemental, openminded person in your lives. And now you have sealed the whole family with the beautiful little Evelyn (Evie) I wish you all the love and happiness you each individually all deserve so very much 😍 🙏🏼 You guys rock 🤘🏼👏🏼

[@cryptid2923]

"Oh okay so when do I get to meet them?" Is such a cute and nice response to learning about that? Like it shows you don't think it's weird and that you're interested and aAH Gaz you're amazing.

[@jess5352]

Hey well jess has made me aware of Did but she also helped me with my own mentall health as well please pass that on to her. I also just want to say thank you for making this video as well cuz I think other people who are dating someone with a disorder needs patients and understanding. Love you guys, hope your all well.

[@danademos-curtis55]

Awe I enjoyed how you talked about your flexibility with your spouse as she is. My wife and I will soon be together 16 years (she has DID) and it has taken flexibility and understanding. I am finally realizing that there are other people sharing about their experiences with their partners I can learn about online. 😅 thank you for sharing!

[@dosto_viski8292]

Hey Dana..can you help me please... I have relationship with love of my life (she has DID) like 2 years..and we really love each other. But recently, one of my girlfriend's alter (a male) is started to assaulting me, but my girlfriend and i both agreed on he is creating (the) problem for her system and our relationship... He used to be a persecutor, but since few years he did become a protector. We were very close friends, but he is acting like he "bored" from us all, writing girls on internet, and blaming me that "i am the one corrupting" my girlfriend's life and routines, instead of criticizing his actions. He is acting like someone just got into andropause... What should we do? Thank you if you read this..

[@danademos-curtis55]

@@dosto_viski8292 I’m so sorry! It sounds really hard! I think you really need to go through couples counseling. You may not be able to live together for a time. In a relationship, it is so crucial for all of you and your partner to remain safe (meaning emotionally too). That can be hard to maintain when living together. Be careful and be kind to yourself.

[@danademos-curtis55]

@@dosto_viski8292 the more I think about this the more I worry that you are not safe where you are. Please take care of yourself!

[@Chrisforder82]

I think you both are awesome individuals. Jess, Jamie, Ed, Jake & Ollie you are all inspirations and Gaz you are just an amazing human being. When you all became a family and were dating for a period of time how did Gaz explain to his family and how did they receive this information? Did they understand, did it take them along time to get to meet the different Alters? What is the best part and worse part of having DID and living with someone who has DID? Thank you for sharing so much. I am a youth support worker and some of the sessions I do with the young people are in the LGBTQI community and one of the young people came in a couple of weeks ago explaining that he has DID. I had noticed the switch in him to one of his alters and because of your channel was able to understand, pick up on this, help him and his alter and also explain to my other colleagues a bit about DID. This is all what I’ve learnt from you all so thank you for helping me become a better person and widening my knowledge and understanding of this condition but also thank you for letting me reach out to this young person and help him and his alters as well. He came in last week say they were so excited that someone new about DID and he feels a lot more safer to be open when he and his alters speak to me. Thank you all. Lots of love & support to you all. One day would love to meet you all xx

[@douglasvincent5925]

Thank you for making this video, Gaz! As a DID system ourselves who is married to a non-DID person, we appreciate hearing your perspective on being a partner to a DID system. I'm glad to hear that you understand so well the do's and don'ts of it. I can tell from this video and many other videos on this channel that you treat Jess and the boys very well, and we appreciate you being a good example of how a marriage between a DID system and a non-DID person can work! Thanks again! - Doug

[@l.j.1585]

Gaz, thank you for such honest and genuine insight from your perspective! I too am a partner, almost 2 years now and I am still learning. This was a gift to find and watch. Peace & Blessings!

[@avissomething9230]

I inlisted this as a favourite and wrote as a title " Afternoon tea chat with Gaz". This explained a heck lot of things since I've been questioning how would a relationship be and whether a system would accept a partner or it would just make them ague in the headspace and I believe you've explained it beautifully. I wish for you all to make the happiest of memories on this journey.

[@MomOfBoysNOLA]

Beautiful! Don't be an asshole should just be a requirement for any relationship. 😂

[@angiemarshall5564]

I am personally amazed!! I did not discover my own condition with this until I had many kids. My husband - ok well, he really kinda pushed me into the point of being able to see reality. Since he did, it is very clear that I have lived many lives. Anyway, Kudos to you for being so supportive!!

[@christianf.5553]

Finally, Gaz in the Foreground! :D (Sorry, it was too tempting...) Anyway, thank you for this video. I feel that a lot of these are applicable to all relationships really, as well as common courtesy. So, yeah... I agree with you in that you could just sum it up as "don't be a jackass". Also, I'd say you're pretty much perfect, at least for Jess and the boys. Including your imperfections. I hope all of you have a long and happy life together!

[@alexandrarathert1839]

Wow. This was a really beautiful video. I’ve seen and read about people with DID through their perspectives and clinical perspectives, but this is the first one I’ve seen from a significant other’s perspective. Jess’s system is so lucky to have you! Thank you for this fantastic video. Much love to you all!