Meeting Your Adoptive Child for the First Time! | Advice for Adoptive Parents

[@adoptinformed]

Want more adoption help? Schedule a consultation with me! ✨ www.adoptinformed.com/consultation

[@gracieskywalkergirl14]

I talk to my adopted mom on video chat and text her everyday i'm already 21 so i think it is easier to me since i'm adult and i talk to strangers all the time so i'm not scared and i'm use to it even tho i have autism i'm not scared of strangers i mean some i don't go up to all i kinda judge to see if it's safe first u have like that sense where i can tell if someone is nice or not and is safe or not

[@josephcarter2971]

My wife and me Love to adopt older children we had a Home Study. We are just waiting to meet at least two children help us to find them. Thank you.

[@ettinakitten5047]

The fact that this needs to be said saddens me. It sounds like I put more thought into the comfort of my dog as I adopted her than some people do when adopting human children. I was very aware when we brought her home that this "happy occasion" was going to be very scary to an 8 week old puppy who's never slept without her mom & littermates before, and put a lot of energy into trying to help her feel safe.

[@dodiekoehler5256]

Excellent information! We adopted our daughter at almost one year old. She is now 31 years old. Our son was given to us 5 minutes after he was born. His adoption was final 6 months later. He is now 28 years old.

[@madeline799]

Thank you so much for talking about respecting a child’s physical boundaries and keeping their potential past trauma in mind. I think it’s really important for kids to know that they are safe with you, and they learn that by you showing them that you respect their desires and their boundaries. I’m not a parent, I work at a daycare and we have a partnership with an agency so we care for a lot of foster children. You have to meet kids where they’re at if you want to help them.

[@adoptinformed]

Totally agree! Physical boundaries are do important!

[@djk5v]

I’ve don’t believe that anybody, trauma or no trauma, should be made to hug anyone. It’s called bodily autonomy. I hated as a kid when it was all give so and so a hug hi. So, I don’t do it to my nephews, and I won’t make my kids do it.

[@adoptinformed]

Definitely!

[@ca147]

Only 5 minutes in, but yes!! Our 14 month old did run up to give us hugs and wanted to be held, but later on he's been diagnosed with disorganized attachment disorder. We've put a lot of hard work in to get him to a more secure attachment. We absolutely would not change our choice to foster to adopt. But thank you for bringing awareness to attachment styles and disorders. We are in the process of praying to foster to adopt an older child as well and recently found your videos. So much good information!

[@adoptinformed]

Thanks for sharing your experience! So glad you have found the videos helpful :)

[@mayrafernandez7303]

Thank you. So agree. Mom of 11 adopted kids.

[@adoptinformed]

Wow I want to see a video from your perspective!! That is awesome!

[@MariannaValenciaMKT]

This is exactly the information I was needing!! I am about to meet my kid, who is around 6 years. Btw the not recording advice is a huge advice. Not being invasive and making it about THEM not us!

[@patientlywaiting9030]

Thanks for the tips, Katie! We are going through the process of adopting an older elementary age child. This gave me a lot of ideas. I especially like the idea of making a mini photo book for him to keep with family/house photos to give at the first meeting. I’m also starting to think of places to go that’s non threatening like his favorite park to play for a while. Any tips you have would be awesome!

[@adoptinformed]

Yes I definitely think going to a park or to a restaurant they like would be great. I would strongly suggest not going somewhere that is way too overstimulating though. The first weekend we met our older two kids, their caseworker suggested we go to skate world… It was this huge skating rink with all of these flashing lights, loud music, kids running everywhere… It was a really bad idea! We were so overwhelmed and The kids were running in every direction. I think a park would be a really great place because it’s usually much more relaxed. But the very first place we met the kids was in their foster home… I think that was good because we got to talk to their foster parents a lot, see where they have been living, and meet them on their turf.

[@brysonwest93]

Omgoodness, thank you on the recording issue. It's not a performance!

[@lrenterx7564]

Thank you. This is such a helpful video. I agree with you about respecting the child's space an not overwhelming him/her.

[@Dennyswifey]

Thank you we’re excepting a four year old and I can see how your tips will make for a smooth transition

[@adoptinformed]

Congratulations!!

[@nelled6240]

​@@adoptinformed666⁶66

[@briellepetrella2782]

I love the picture book idea! Genius!

[@AlasseaCarnesir]

Thank you so much for your insights and valuable information and tips. I've only started watching your videos recently and have found them so helpful and I appreciate that you also talk about adoption issues which are not widely shared (Your Post-Adoption Blues videos was very insightful and helpful.) We will hopefully be meeting our little one for the first time in 2-3 months if borders don't close again (we will be an intercountry adoption) so this video is a big help and I'll be making sure I follow some of your tips here as well.

[@adoptinformed]

So glad you found it helpful! So exciting that you will be meeting your little one soon! :)

[@lexiegentry4444]

Wow what an excellent pov. It really puts in the child’s perspective. Thank you for sharing this!

[@maddiemahoney8533]

When adopting an older child from a foster home, do you make multiple visits before they come to your house? I really like this video and how much I've learned about the child's perspective and making them comfortable!

[@adoptinformed]

It definitely depends on the situation, but typically yes! With both of our adoptions, we visited the kids in their foster homes several times, then had a few visits overnight at our house before they moved in.

[@maddiemahoney8533]

@@adoptinformed Ohh, okay. I was thinking about what you said and how worried they might feel going to a new home especially after just one visit. Thank you for replying! Adoption fascinates me and I hope to one day be able to!

[@ettinakitten5047]

@@maddiemahoney8533 I feel like the "going to a new home after one visit" situation is especially common with international adoption, because it's usually not very feasible to have multiple cross-country visits or stay for months in another country to help the child adjust.

[@shiannstilley6427]

This is very eye opening!! Thank you!! ♥️

[@AngPoe]

I think a great video to watch after this would be your video on love vs attachment. ☺️

[@nicholemaclean1888]

This is my favourite type of video that you do. Thanks for sharing 😊

[@falyna92]

Thank you so much! Brilliant tips!

[@leightuckniss2469]

Loved this!

[@nelly4303]

Thank you for sharing this♥️

[@coronado1433]

great video!!!

[@31Dslaughter]

Can you make one like this for teens

[@adoptinformed]

I haven’t ever adopted a teen, but that is a good idea! :) I think some of the same principles apply, but you’d have to adjust things so they didn’t feel you are treating them like a baby...I teach teens and they hate that! 😅

[@lossarabia1040]

You help me so much thank you God bless you 🙏😇

[@GodManifest]

I love your videos. Thank you for doing them❤

[@adoptinformed]

Thanks for watching! 🥰

[@melyssacollins4553]

Very helpful thank you!

[@Ronnie7MB]

Subscribing! ❤

[@danielaratkajec3295]

Thank you🧡🙏

[@mikejaeger255]

Awesome video thanks for all the info!

[@CoreyGoldwaves]

Illusion of the Adoptee Experience (Adoptee/Love) Album coreygoldwaves.bandcamp.com/album/illusion-of-the-adoptee-experience

[@catherinemcnicoll5397]

When we match (we are looking at ages 7-10), do you think a scrapbook about our family would be something good to bring to a first visit? I am a fairly creative person and for me I want a project to work on while we wait and think this might be a good outlet for me but want to know if you think it might help the child too.

[@catherinemcnicoll5397]

Lol, you answered my question later in the video.

[@adoptinformed]

Yes, absolutely!! Our daughter was 9 when we met her and she was obsessed with the photo book we made for her. She still loves it. I wrote a lot of information about our different family members as well so she felt like she already knew some things about them. I think it would be a really great way to “pass the time” before you get a placement!

[@lovebug8482]

Did you ever adopt?

[@catherinemcnicoll5397]

@@lovebug8482 we are still in the process we have run into some issues with the efficiency of the state agency we are working with. Hopefully we will get through the initial home study process in the near future and then being in the matching phase.

[@sophialeblanc]

Hey! When adopting waiting children, I thought you could meet them before deciding to adopt, is this not the case?

[@adoptinformed]

Great question! Usually that is the case for the first meeting. However, our mentality has always been if we are going as far as to meet them, we must be almost 100 percent committed so as not to put them through more trauma/rejection. By that point you usually know quite a bit of info about their case, which honestly is more important than meeting them in my opinion. A visit is helpful, but you will never know from just one visit if there will be issues down the road. Their case files will be more helpful.

[@journeyrawls7952]

Thank you

[@derrikamayers8133]

would you ever adopt again number 2 do you want more kids do you have a boy and girl number 3 you could put the camera in the room first and wait for them to come in you should do international adoption Africa and China and Russia and Korea please please their a lot of kids around the world need food family love and home please don't give up on adopting again please do more q and a every week or every month I am a big fan

[@adoptinformed]

Thanks for the questions! I think I'll compile these and other questions for a Q & A video :)

[@CatherineDavid-xv4qd]

Hi! I'm at the beginning of this journey and I want to adopt a sibling group. My question is , has anyone made an adoption book/gotcha book or are they available for sale anywhere?I obviously can't use the traditional baby book but, I want them to know how treasured they are and I would give them the books when they're grown ups.

[@adoptinformed]

We have used digitally printed books like Shutterfly for photo books for our kids :) I haven’t ever looked for a book like that but that would be cool!

[@davidhauck5418]

I would like to adopt a girl with out paying a fee like fill out a adoption paperwork

[@calvinbrady9944]

Creepy.

[@davidhauck5418]

@@calvinbrady9944there’s nothing wrong about adopting a girl

[@artvulture456]

166

[@derrikamayers8133]

you should adopt again do you want to number 2 do you a boy youth should get2 you have 2 girls already you should put the camera into the room already first and then wait for the child

[@derrikamayers8133]

I want to adopt some day when I get stable and get married and have my first biological child a boy and then adopt international you should do adoption reaction of the adoption videos I want it to it the hardest to find the right man I have standard if he have half of my standards responsible and respectful loved caring want a big family supportive cute sexy the body of 50 cent

[@ettinakitten5047]

You don't get to decide if your bio kid will be a boy or a girl.