Should you foster-to-adopt? | Adopting from Foster Care

Adopting from foster care is a great opportunity to help a child and grow your family. However, the concept of foster-to-adopt can be problematic. Let's talk about the issues with this adoption mindset and alternatives to help you pursue adoption for your family!
✨Are you ready to adopt from foster care? Book an adoption consultation and I will help take the confusion out of the process!✨ www.adoptinformed.com
📣 Comment Policy
I created this channel as a space to encourage others. I truly believe that even if we have differing views, we can still get along and be kind. That being said, any hurtful, mean, offensive, or malicious comments will be deleted.
Thanks so much for watching!
-Katie

[@adoptinformed]

✨Do you want to adopt from foster care but aren’t sure where to start? Book an adoption consultation and I will help take the confusion out of the process!✨ www.adoptinformed.com

[@katdenning6535]

My husband & I are planning to adopt from foster care. We don’t want to foster parent at all though because our autistic kiddos really struggle with environmental instability. We decided straight adoption is better for our family.

[@Adulting.exe23]

I'm only 23 but I want to adopt a child waiting for a family when I am in my 30s. I have heard of foster to adopt through researching foster care adoptions. I really love your channel because it has been very helpful for preparing when the time comes. Also baby it's cold outside is my current favorite Christmas song

[@Tea962]

Please consider the teenagers and older kids too, I notice alot of ppl only want the littles and babies

[@Adulting.exe23]

@@Tea962 I am actually more interested in the older kids and teenagers. I have three nephews the youngest being 2 years old and I think I would be able to give better care to an older child versus a toddler.

[@silverraindropper8713]

I just love the bells that you hear ringing during Christmas time, and everything that comes with the season. I don’t necessarily have a favorite Christmas song.

[@KatTheo431]

IMO, foster-to-adopt drives disruptions since foster parents will find a reason to get rid of you if you don't fit into their family. They also view your behavior and likes/interests as your parents not as a child they are caring for temporarily. I aged out of the foster care system and was in 8 homes in 6 years. At least 4 of those homes were foster parents who seemed the reason they were fostering was to adopt. One disrupted because I decided I didn't want to go to church. Technically they were supposed to allow foster kids to choose their own religion or not be part of their religion, but they didn't see it that way. I was technically able to be adopted (my mom became disabled after a drug overdose and my biodad died in a car accident) but I didn't really want that. But those placement didn't know that until I was placed with them. They heard about me - I was a good student, no major issues and probably thought I was perfect except I was a teen. And I get that if you want to adopt, why waste a bed on a kid that doesn't want to be part of your family? Reunification was impossible - my mom wasn't able to care for herself and could barely talk or walk. Since I didn't have any potential kinship placements, adoption really was the only option since where I was (Ohio), the few foster homes were all foster-to-adopt. I ended up in essentially a group home that was far worse conditions than when I was living with my mom. I didn't feel loved in any foster home - and it was always like oil and water and foster parents never tried to get to know me, they tried to change me to fit into their families (all were very religious and I was a really huge anime fan). I had so many foster parents spend more time trying to convince me anime was bad and preaching about Jesus than anyone spending time doing anything I liked. It was always this fight to be able to see anime I wanted or get manga comics. My guess is if I was going to be their adoptive daughter, they wouldn't allow their daughter to do the things I liked, so thus I needed to change and when I didn't, I got moved to another home. I really think adoption and foster care need to be separate.

[@adoptinformed]

Kat, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It is so helpful to hear your perspective, and I’m glad you are here!

[@Travelwithamberrae]

We are a legal risk home, which is similar to foster to adopt but different because they do not enter our home until the goal is no longer reunification. We just completed our adoption. It was amazing and I’m happy with how we did it.

[@adoptinformed]

That’s great! We did that as well with our oldest kids! :)

[@Biggestgayestbird]

I really appreciate your willingness to challenge the assumptions a little of folks have about foster to adopt! Thank you!

[@FosterFathersPodcast]

It’s such a complicated situation. Thanks so much for sharing this!!❤

[@deboraofriedrich]

Last Christmas, love that song. And thank you for this videos. Really helpful.

[@irun123]

This holiday season my favorite song is Christmas Roses. Very informative video, thanks!

[@AshleyArchibald85]

Thanks for the mention! Yeah. The situation here in Rural NV is dire.

[@moriahjohnson421]

As someone getting licensed to foster to adopt my thought process is that while waiting for the opportunity to adopt I would love to be able to help other children as well

[@adoptinformed]

I think that is a really good way to approach it!! ❤️

[@jasminealwedyan874]

Yes, it is a good approach, but just be mentally aware that it could take many years or even have multiple hopeful adoptions fall through when the parents show up for their child and decide to do the classes the very last minute after almost a year long process. But the goal is in the best interest of the child. You can even be there to be a support for the parents as well. There is a possibility to be a mentor and support parents on their healing journey. But reunification is always the main purpose of foster care. As foster parents, we can't be greedy and want what we want. We have to put the best interest of the child in mind even when it's not with us. We have the opportunity to help others in this process and support a community.

[@danielleg1504]

I’m about half way through training to be a dually-approved parent and I am hoping to adopt, but not at the expense of a capable bio parent. The training all seems very clear, so far, that the process is a selfless one. You really have to leave your ego at the door to be successful. It sounds like you agree!

[@MemoriesbyMT]

Hey New subscriber here, just watching hearing what tips different ppl have that have been through the adoption journey. My favorite is all I want for Christmas is you! 🎶🤗

[@adoptinformed]

Welcome!! :)

[@gailmorgan1244]

1- As a support worker with families in the system, I was firmly corrected by a case worker when I said the family goal was reunification. I was told I was being presumptuous and assuming the case goals before investigation was complete. That opened my eyes to NOT paint every family with the same brush. 2-some states will not allow you to adopt without being a foster parent. My state is one of them. So there’s families who are trying to adopt some of the already TPR’d kids.

[@adoptinformed]

I can definitely understand how there would be certain cases where it is more cut and dry that the child should not be reunified with family! I’m sure a lot has to do with the reason they were removed. However, reunification seems to be the goal for most kids who enter foster care given the stats of how many kids in foster care return to their parents. I talk to a lot of people unfamiliar with foster care who think that if a kid goes into foster care they will almost definitely end up being adopted into another family. That’s more of who I’m speaking to here :)

[@melissaholton2772]

If it saves anyone some research, South Carolina has Daniel’s law. You can leave a baby at any church hospital, fire or police station. I believe less than 60 days of age. No questions asked. 10 to 20 babies enter the adoptive system each year that way.

[@AlliePries]

You can still be licensed to only foster and go the foster to adopt route while avoiding these “problems” that you’re discussing. This is what my husband and I are doing now. We are a licensed foster home here in Ohio working with a private agency. We are only willing to accept placements where the parental rights have already been terminated. We will foster them for 6 months and then be able to adopt them. There is no risk with going this route of foster to adopt because the children are already legally freed to be adopted and parental rights have been terminated.

[@adoptinformed]

Yes! What you’re describing is is the type of adoption I help families get started with 😊 I mention in the video that some states will label that as “foster-to-adopt” but I think a better term for that is adopting waiting children. That’s what we did too! ❤️

[@AlliePries]

@@adoptinformed thanks for the response! Were you able to inquire on waiting children (for example on adoptuskids) with only a foster care license? Sorry if you touched on this in the video and I missed it!

[@adoptinformed]

@@AlliePries we had a dual license in our state, but I’m not sure how that works in other states. I’d have to research to see if that was possible!

[@AlliePries]

@@adoptinformed gotcha! I live in Ohio too

[@KatTheo431]

I'm a former foster youth who aged out of the Ohio foster care system - and didn't want to be adopted. Reunification was never possible (my mom was disabled, my dad was deceased), so I spent 6 years going home to home to home with families who wanted to adopt and then got rid of me. It really sucked because there's far too many people doing that and a lack of foster-only homes. I changed high schools 3 times my freshman year.

[@noodles9249]

My siblings were adopted by their first foster mom ❤ but it was a super super long 3 year battle with my mom because she didn't want to let go of them. It was a heartbreaking time for me because now they're no longer my "siblings" legally speaking

[@adoptinformed]

That would be so hard! I hope you have been able to maintain contact with them or at least may be able to reconnect in the future ❤️

[@noodles9249]

@adoptinformed oh yeah their adoptive mom is amazing! I moved across the country but she always let's me stay there with them when I visit 💗 I just had a baby and she started calling herself grandma lol 😆

[@adoptinformed]

@@noodles9249 that makes my heart so happy to hear! ☺️

[@shanasayer4112]

I would like to adopt a child , can you help me on how you did it.

[@daedrianlipscomb9624]

My favorite Christmas song is Carol of the Bells!!!

[@risakris]

Not ready for Christmas music yet

[@flowers8951]

Katie can you pls do a video on adoption for a waiting child but a spouse having a not so great record and if it's even worth trying to adopt from dcfs w a record.

[@adoptinformed]

So much of this depends what the record is and what state you are in because laws vary from state to state. I have worked with a client who had this issue before and was able to contact people for her and get the answers she needed to move forward. If you email me at [e-mail] I may be able to help you more!

[@sarahbecker1482]

I live with my mom and don't work. I do get survivor benefits or Social Security. Will that disqualify me from adopting? I don't have bills to pay so living off of survivor benefits won't be an issue

[@adoptinformed]

I don’t think this would be an issue, but it’s definitely worthwhile to call your state’s department of family or children’s services to ask if that would affect your eligibility.

[@leslienelis301]

Christmas time - Charlie Brown soundtrack

[@kickdropacoin]

That darn Mariah Carey song! Can't help it, it's everywhere :)

[@cdeuell86]

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer" sung by Burl Ives

[@janellemargot4376]

It reads "baby snatcher" to me when folks are so driven getting a baby through a foster to adopt situation. You are not entitled a baby/child. Essentially hoping for a family to break. Smh.

[@riobird1363]

You shouldn’t judge though because you really don’t know their heart. I think the problem is that they are not informed.

[@alasshewasthehighwaywoman8886]

@@riobird1363 i don't agree on either point but i understand you

[@Tea962]

​@@alasshewasthehighwaywoman8886 And they never want the teens who need help! just little kids and babies

[@katielaginess3344]

They don’t care foster care stole my son they placed him with a family who wanted to adopt I did everything but I couldn’t get housing on time so after 16 months they got my son

[@alasshewasthehighwaywoman8886]

@@katielaginess3344 they're vultures; i'm so sorry love.

[@sainshruti]

All i want for Christmas...is you!

[@adoptinformed]

Hahaha it’s such a catchy song!

[@courtneyredfern5062]

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas