This was supposed to be the finale to a video series on CC3. But since I was unwell over December... this needs to come first. 2018. 2019. These were years with me being so focused on just surviving, it was hard to see things clearly. And yet despite the goal of survival, being in such a state for so long is self destructive. It erodes your mind, self worth and I am pretty sure my headspace was such that I actively made my pain worse by not finding ways to treat it, and indeed, mental health feeds so hard into physical health. It weakens you. And you spend your entire time on a knife edge. You become your own worst enemy. Well, sometimes a Hail Mary pass pays off. Support goes a long way too. I am in a significantly better headspace. I am recovering. Maybe it will take a while, and I will still get dips here and there. But I am recovering. I did not mention the cancer scare I mentioned in the CC3 ending here, as that was just one long running thing in the background, and was ultimately found to be a different issue and ailment. It has since had ongoing treatment. It wasn't irrelevant, but if I did mention every incident of 2019 here, the video would probably be about 3 times as long. 2019 was just... genuinely awful for me all round.
@DoctorNovakaine4 жыл бұрын
It's a cruel irony how something meant to help us turns out to hurt us. That 'survival mode' is supposed to be helpful by quickly identifying and responding to a threat. But it causes such a fixation on that threat that it can become the only thing one can think about...and then when it's something that lingers for so long, it starts to feel like the only thing in the world is that problem that isn't getting solved, and nothing else matters except escaping it, no matter what. It's draining, it's taxing, and it's beyond stressful... It's those things you mentioned in the video - the seemingly little, sometimes random things, the kindnesses and supports...even if it is silly, it breaks the fixation, it provides something to think about that isn't the 'survival' focus. Even for bits at a time, it can be enough recharge to help one pull through in the long run. And it's been able to see a way forward and focus on that that helps keep from being sucked back into that state. It doesn't matter their importance in the 'grand scheme' - what matters is that they're important and meaningful to you. I hope for many more of those for you, Ace, among the many reliefs I hope for you in the new year and beyond.
@RoahmMythril4 жыл бұрын
I'm deeply sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you, but I'm glad to hear that you have the support and love of others and the will to make it through. It is my most sincere hope that things improve for you.
@ACESpark4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I'm glad this video made its way to you.
@mr.leeleeleee71534 жыл бұрын
Don't worry Ace,you'll have people who support and love you. Keep fighting on.
@thatonepalico19664 жыл бұрын
I hope you feel better in the new year and further on Make you take it easy and don't push yourself and I wish you an amazing new year
@jakethedragonymaster12354 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you are hanging on, you are the main inspiration for my Megamix tomfoolery. I'm so proud of everything you've had to deal with, and how you've handled it. Keep up the good work, man. I don't care if that work is Quints Revenge 2, or even staying alive. Keep it up.
@mr.leeleeleee71534 жыл бұрын
And now,let's all give a middle finger to 2019 and 2020 for Ace.
@goodsamaritangaming19974 жыл бұрын
May your 2021 be blessed and filled with greatness. This message was definitely a blessing for me. Back in 2019, I got my first car and in the same year, totalled it. Got a cheap car to replace it, turned out to be junk and I traded it in. Got my third car and while I was able to make the payments for the car, despite having a job,I have been struggling all year to put food on the table for myself. Sometimes you just need the right people to come along and help you pick up the pieces before you lose everything altogether. I really hope 2021 is blessed for you, as well as anyone who reads this.
@Munimun4 жыл бұрын
I'm glad to know you're doing better and recovering! Hardships may not have ended but there's always hope better things will come, and surviving a situation like this can only make you more powerful. Always loved your work and content. Here's to better times.
@hunam_14 жыл бұрын
You’ve been through so much. Sincerely hoping 2021 works out better for you.
@tetsu37134 жыл бұрын
You may be a random gay furry on the internet but you are the best one! Good luck on you'r life and happy new year :)
@starscorpia40054 жыл бұрын
I am glad you are doing better nowadays, i myself had some...really rough patches in 2019 (particularly the last 2 months) and it almost took me as well but it also gave me something i will be forever grateful for and i just really hope things keep getting better for you
@protolegacy91844 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to wish you the best and hope you keep in good spirits. I am VERY impressed with your work on the Megaman games. I am shocked you did the work you accomplished in the poor state you have been in.Keep moving forward and I hope to see more of your outstanding work in the new year.
@TerminalDevastation4 жыл бұрын
Have an happy new year, and even though it seems far too silly for such a serious tone, FIGHT FOR EVERLASTING PEACE. Or at least a slightly better tomorrow.
@ReikuYin4 жыл бұрын
Not had a chance to watch as at work, but saw it and felt I had to make a comment early. First of all. You'll make it. You have people that want the best for you and a community that loves what you do, some of which around form the Heat man days. Second you exposing yourself to us is comforting for some that I'm sure are going through the same troubles. I know that I changed my icon because of the flack those in 'that' fandom get. But with how you have presented yourself with it, and proudly, I think this year I'll go back to it. Thrid, and final just Thank You for everything you have done and shared with us and just continuing to be you. Wherever it leads you'll make it. And I can't speak for everyone, but I'll try and remain long as I can to keep supporting what you do.
@sayachan60694 жыл бұрын
While I don't know you personally I've been someone using sprites inc for years as a spriter myself and it's always been a wonderful resource to have plus I've always just loved your games too. So I'm glad you're still here after that year of hell you've been through and my hats off to you for pulling through after all the shit life has thrown your way plus you have some wonderful friends and supporters too which is really moving. Here's hoping 2021 is going to be a better year and I wish you all the best, Ace.
@Nbjk014 жыл бұрын
first off even though im positive we may be a few countries away i want to say thank u my friend. i dont know if i said this before but u were one of the guys that helped me get the courage to post on you tube because you made it look so fun and enjoyable. your vids always put a smile on my face and just make days better. it is one of the main reasons why i still watch u. secondly surviving the year is something i know all to well. looking back at some times had im glad i had the support group i had ,and know that you have one as well. yeah those stubborn folks that no matter how much u try to push away they will always be there to help so stay strong and always keep trucking and finally... always be sure to take care of yourself ,and enjoy the year as best you can 2021 is just around the corner lets try to make the most of it
@Rhyusfox4 жыл бұрын
For what it's worth, ACE, I have a feeling it's a safe bet your fans are glad to show support as they can. Just keep on being you, and you'll have people cheering you on. You've been an inspiration, and likely will continue to be. It takes guts and then some to have recorded this. Even moreso to put it up.
@Lightman03594 жыл бұрын
It was through Roahmythril's playthroughs of MAGMML 1&2 that I found out about you, I always enjoyed your comic comments on the various trash levels. You do amazing work. Sorry to hear the past 2 years were such shit for you. I hope you make a complete and speedy recovery.My old work motto [when concerts were still a thing] I think is apt for you and anyone else in a rough place: Don't focus on success, that is an ever shifting goal, instead aim for sucks-less. For many people you turn sucks into sucks-less, 1 video at a time!
@ThanatosZero4 жыл бұрын
Listening to your message, my heart felt it so deeply, I couldn't hold back the tears. ;_; I may not have the best kind of response, but by all honesty, when I say it, I mean it. You have our support Ace, whenever we are able to help!
@bigrockerending77114 жыл бұрын
I can definitely tell that 2019 was really, really rough for you. It makes me really happy that in spite of everything, there were people who were able to help you hold on and keep going. Hope everything continues to improve for you. Happy New Year!
@Pensive_Scarlet3 жыл бұрын
"You don't really recover or know how to recover." I felt that. There's something existentially crushing about experiencing a "fight or flight" response with no options for fighting or flying. How can you resolve such an abstract conflict? All you can do is try to survive. I'm glad you did.
@triplehate67594 жыл бұрын
Speaking from experience, I know how it feels to be on a maddening survival bent (not to mention losing oneself to the bottle), so I can well appreciate how draining and de-spiriting that shit is, day in and day out. And your reason for hanging on isn't silly or stupid at all - when one has lost themself and is at the end of their rope, sometimes it really is just some random little thing, even just a particular thought popping into their head at a crucial moment, that can be enough to pull that person back from the brink. As someone who has enjoyed your content since your old boss rushes in the early days of KZbin, I'm pleased as punch to see you hanging on, being open about everything, and giving a lousy year the big middle finger; here's to seeing THIS relentless shitshow of a year out the door with a kick to the testicles and the hope that 2021 will suck less balls!
@PhantomBlackStar4 жыл бұрын
Hope ye feel better.
@Daemonseele4 жыл бұрын
Sovietcommando here, I know its been a while since we've last talked, but know that you still have my support. Alas I've been out of the loop on how you've been and am relieved to know that you're still holding on. I hope you'll continue to see improvement next year and the years to come.
@MikeCrain4 жыл бұрын
It's funny how silly little things like a Mega Man Christmas parody can mean a lot and make a difference in people's lives. Glad you're doing better. People always focus on when the good times will end, but the bad times are also just as temporary.
@mohdadeeb18294 жыл бұрын
Man! I remember a few years ago, watching Jake Roper ( Yes! Vsauce 3 ) .He almost had the same situation. He was suffering from Cancer but he actually defeated it.
@myuphrid4 жыл бұрын
It's hard to know what to say about circumstances such as those you've endured. I knew you'd been through a bad time over the last couple of years, but never realised the sheer magnitude of it all. I'm so sorry life threw all that in your path, and I hope that things get a hell of a lot better soon. But I'm very glad you were able to keep going, to keep fighting. I hope that 2021 is a tremendous improvement for you - after all you've been through, I think it's safe to say you've easily earned it. I'll be looking forward to seeing what you create in the new year, and I'm sure I'm not the only one!
@Hazatroll4 жыл бұрын
Latecomer here... Although I've found out about you in MAGMML2, I really enjoyed playing through your creations. Having listened to the whole video, I wish I realized sooner that the problems you dealt with in last few years were as serious as you described (that is, not even including the pandemic). However, I'm glad to know you are feeling better now. I believe you have a strong spirit because despite your circumstances, you are co-hosting a contest; you released a new game; and you had the courage to make this difficult video. I hope 2021 is the year when you will make a full recovery. Wish you the best!
@rudeboyspodcast4 жыл бұрын
You've been through a heck of a lot, Ace. I can tell this took a lot of courage to make, so thank you for being so open and honest with us. I wish you well into the new year!
@rockbainer75154 жыл бұрын
so sorry hope you get better
@TheKorenji3 жыл бұрын
I don't know you and you don't know me, but... Please stay strong, friend.
@darko-hexar4 жыл бұрын
Much love, Ace. You're important, and I'm thankful that you're here. This was a very emotional viewing, but I'm glad I listened all the way through. Wishing you the best - it's what you deserve
@evgenyti32504 жыл бұрын
Shoutouts to submitting CC3 to Fangame Marathon 2020
@reidfitzhugh45394 жыл бұрын
...it's great to hear you're recovering, dude.
@Videogamejunkie4433 жыл бұрын
I wish you the best for the rest of your life.
@Shamazya4 жыл бұрын
Hey, ya might know me as 'Cyanosis' from Inc. I'm glad you're able finally to live your truth and find new ways to cope/interact with the world. I admire you, and I have for a long time. Not just for what you've said in this video or what you've produced but but also for the care you have towards people being treated well. I took notice when you made a thread about some toxicity on parts of Inc and insisting that people do better. And for the supporting trans people on Twitter among other social justice causes. Thanks for sharing and continuing to fight!
@Duothimir4 жыл бұрын
Keep on trucking, ACE. We're all with you.
@alexbarbosa70464 жыл бұрын
IM STILL WAITING 4 a carol
@mohdadeeb18294 жыл бұрын
12:16 Woah! That was close.
@toyfreddy53264 жыл бұрын
that's not all, 2020 ruined my life
@MrVibbyyyyy3 жыл бұрын
Me too my dad died that year
@toyfreddy53263 жыл бұрын
@@MrVibbyyyyy my dad died too ;-;
@MrVibbyyyyy3 жыл бұрын
@@toyfreddy5326 sorry man he’s up. In the sky now 🙁🙁
@toyfreddy53263 жыл бұрын
@@MrVibbyyyyy how did he die?
@MrVibbyyyyy3 жыл бұрын
@@toyfreddy5326 lung cancer although he never smoked then it spread to brain very quickly then.......