Smearing - How To Defeat A Narcissist Who Makes You Out To Be Crazy

[@LinYouToo]

One of my triggers is when I don’t feel seen, heard, or understood. Whether someone is defending or deflecting or dismissing my point of view , or invalidating, or gaslighting me, it doesn’t matter, it’s a trigger. I’ve gotten much much better over the last several years. I have learned how to set strong boundaries. I have also learned to not react when this happens. Often, I find myself saying, I see things differently. Or, I have a different point of you. Or you see things your way and I see things my way we are different. Then I shrug my shoulders with the most blank look on my face. It took practice but I’m quite good at it now.

[@francescachappie5193]

LinYouToo THIS is what I’m working on getting consistent with!

[@blueshoes915]

That’s awesome. Glad you mastered that. I am still working on it, thank you for the inspiration. 💕

[@suzannecarson9104]

Im going too find trama and heal my inner wounds.

[@kaz6403]

You've just explained what am trying to learn. I find it so difficult to not react .... but I am learning that reacting is just playing into their game ..... good on you for helping yourself ..... and now you've helped me aswell, by letting me know there are other people with the same triggers as me xxx

[@Megan6772]

This is me too, I mean those are my triggers. I get a lot of this inv invalidating and dismissing from innocent family members who don't really know the backstory and just want everyone to be on good terms. Their intentions may be good but they have no idea how much damage they do to me. It is crazy triggering. I love Melanie but I find it hard to listen sometimes because it's been decades for me and I still am not receiving the happy ending resolution that she did. The reality is my people still don't see the light and I don't think they ever will. That's the hardest to cope with. People encouraging me to get along with these toxic people. 😔

[@user-cf3iz6cl5q]

My narc mother has done this since I was a little kid, I've always been everything from mentally ill, a drug addict, a loser, stupid/bad in school, abusive towards everybody else, giving my mother a hard time for no reson and hating her for no reason....the list goes on and on. I went no contact 5 years ago, and the no contact will last forever, finally thriving and healing :)

[@sandrakm3728]

S. I'm moving out of my mom's house month end. This will be my start of no contact. I can't wait. I really don't care about who believes her smear campaigns anymore.

[@redwhiteblue9866]

She's 100% right about this. My whole life I cared too much about what other people thought, and when I stop doing that ( cuz I had no other place to go ) the smear miraculously stopped. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything ( if you're not there yet trust me I understand ) but I'm a better person now and comfortable in my own skin for the first time ever. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and it's you. Love to you all

[@lisa7bmoo88]

Just learnt this .. 🤗

[@blueberrydefendersuperb1606]

Thank you so much. I really been struggling. It seems like it will never stop. I'm starting to get desensitized, and that gives me hope. ALOT of people believe him. And where I live it's like a small town....I am just going to be going on with my life, even though I am most hated woman in my city.

[@redwhiteblue9866]

@@blueberrydefendersuperb1606My only comment to people was "we don't see eye to eye and they have an agenda." nothing more nothing less. Things looked really bad for me, narcs are masters of smear and usually very charismatic, you CANT win so don't try they'll make you look like the crazy person. The truth starts to come out in the end, did in my case, took 3 years or so. Some people have since apologized. My heart goes out to you I know what it's like. Breathe in, breathe out and put one foot in front of the other, you're in the middle of the book, not the end.

[@blueberrydefendersuperb1606]

@@redwhiteblue9866 Thank you. Thank you.

[@treverhutchison6258]

I agree 💯 smear campaign will make u stronger. In the end I honestly don't care what other people think anymore. When your humble there's nothing to take. Trauma 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I know trauma the smear campaign crap. The thought of death is now funny but it worked for a min. Great video as usual

[@TanyaKatherine]

I love your calm, motherly voice. It gives me chills and gives me peace and security in my heart, keeping me focused. Thank you for existing, Melanie.

[@stevelibby3]

I’ve been going through this over the past several months, and it’s been incredibly difficult. Public and private smearing with so many lies that I could very easily prove, but I’ve held back. What’s been very challenging is that it was from another KZbin creator, in the spiritual community that I loved dearly... so much of my support and friends were cutoff from this very deliberate and malicious smear campaign...it’s affected growing my channel and business, even my physical health. I would never wish this upon anyone and I never expected anything like this... I was very loving, patient, supportive and compassionate of her past...I pray every day that this will turn out in a good way. Thank you for your videos 🙏🏼

[@stevelibby3]

cynthia g - I have been moving on thanks... but there hasn’t been justice or truth coming to the light because of my silence. I appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers… I have a very strong connection to Christ consciousness, and I’m sure Melanie does as well. True spirituality and unity consciousness, has no judgment or separation. Unfortunately certain dogmatic beliefs and judgment is often just as serious than narcissist smear campaigns. I’ll pray for you as well.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Correct Steven Oneness has no separation, judgement or non-inclusion. There are many Christians in my community including NARP members who understand the truth of that. And absolutely I work with God Consciousness. God is ALL of IT! xoxox

[@TrackLives_Matter]

Steven Libby - Starborn Messenger The justice and truth is that you got away from that toxic person. I realize that we’ll never get true closure because they are horrible human beings that have no accountability or self awareness. Trust in yourself that this has made you stronger and wiser! Praying for you all.

[@livingfree7153]

Be strong & be yourself. Don’t hide. They want you to hide & isolate-don’t let them win 💙🙏🏻😇

[@livingfree7153]

Steven Libby - Starborn Messenger yes they want you to hide & isolate but don’t do it! Be yourself & shine 💙

[@loyalroyal1015]

I'm so glad I do not care what a NARC says, let alone about me.....talk about freedom .I KNOW WHO I AM😍 AND IM NOT ANYONES PERCEPTION !! thank you for helping so many people who are not even aware of narcissism and the horrid disgusting filth that lays within them and how it affects other people. THERE IS HEALING VICTORY AND THRIVING BEYOND THE sunken lies and lives of a narcissist.

[@kattnorris8487]

What you are saying makes so much sense to me. I have survived the crazy making and the public smear campaigns. When I quit trying to prove I was a good person and chose to live as the authentic me the ex-narc is the one that starts to look and act crazy. When I realized he absolutely has to win with every interaction i quit playing along. The lack of my participation made him keep ramping up his efforts to make me look crazy. In the end the vengeful hateful tactics blew up in his face people could see his insanity, and how hard he was trying to destroy my life. Every thing is either a win or a loss in a narc mind. As long as he was stealing energy from me he was winning. When I quit playing the game and gave no energy to prove him wrong, or defend the unfathomable, he started taking it as a loss, a personal attack. He couldnt steal anymore energy so it wasnt worth his effort. I was finally free.

[@saraodling3539]

Katt Norris 👏

[@riverdeep399]

I needed this badly. Its been two nearly three years now involving all sorts of officials. No contact hasn't work. I am beyond stressed. Thank you, thank you.

[@NiseyT222]

I’m going through this at work with someone I thought was my friend. Thank you for this video.

[@lovedancingxoxoxoxo9843]

Me too!!

[@TheRonaldbaxter]

I’ve been through something similar. They are clever at mimicking and reflecting back to you what you want to see. I thought I had found my soul mate!

[@carolchatterton9575]

Me too. Right now. But I am starting to feel better just having no contact with these toxic people 😕

[@killachief187]

They will always get found out believe me.

[@allthingsjana7870]

My ex who I have finally detached from ( your videos played a massive part) did this to me . He smeared me to his cousin first . His cousin who is educated said “ oh she must be a narcissist” my ex started throwing that around to me when he never got his way. I held back fear and contacted his cousin . I detailed all the abuse and his cousin confided in me that he had been treated the same. I told my ex I had spoken to his cousin when he came back during lockdown to hoover. He went from nice to ballistic because he knew he had been exposed. I got the bigger picture of when he hit his own father .. He then got his revenge by smearing me to his mum. His mum said I should go and live with his cousin... interesting .. interesting how he has his mother wrapped around his finger. She believes everything her boy says. She will soon find out what he’s really like. I quite believe it. I can’t believe all the tears I cried. I feel I couldn’t break away as I needed him to truly reveal himself to me. I gave him 2 years of my life, but I accept that because now I know what I will not put up with again. I people pleased and put up with his tantrums and when I did grey rock his response was “ I’m off to cheat on you” It was horrible. I’m free and I survived ! I love your story. It gives us all faith ❤️

[@amyjones4362]

When I was pregnant for the first time and my fiancee had a brain tumour, my mother (behind my back) told everyone that I was lying about the brain tumour and that in actual fact we were both junkies. I was very sick with hyperemesis and hospitalised frequently during my pregnancy, my son was born nearly four weeks late by induction. It was a traumatic birth. I needed my family but no one was there. Everyone hated me and treated me atrociously. I only found out a few years later what everyone had been told. I was completely heartbroken. It felt like a second loss because I had to contend with the fact that everyone had believed my mother over me and that ALSO if I really had been a junkie - my family would have hated me for it. This was hard for me because other family members had been loved despite such severe problems. Why would they help everyone but me? I don't speak to any of my family now. There was so much more than this - but discovering what had been said about me when I was pregnant and my fiancee was very sick, was the thing that I could no longer ignore. It's been about three years since I last spoke to my mother. I lost a lot of weight and made a few other changes. I feel like a Real Person now. It's definitely better to be on this side of things. If you are suffering and worried about the fall out too - I'm here to tell you that even if they are as horrific to you as they were to me it is STILL much better to go through that and find your shiny true self at the end of it. Loves to you all. xxx

[@joiekincaid5487]

At 71 my former husband brought me to my knees, losing my home, business, and family: my 3 greatest fears. Initially I thought I was going to die - but I didn't! In my inward journey I discovered that I am an approval addict. That was then...I am now stronger and stronger every day and looking forward to the adventures ahead. Thank you for your wonderful videos xx

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

Very helpful information, this describes the activities of the highly confrontational and volatile narcissist in my life. They can get people you've known your whole life on their side and against you. 👑

[@Bonnie55317-w]

Unfortunately, that is true. ! It is downright shocking to experience this.

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

@@Bonnie55317-w it's very very sad that people can get this low. I've had a few people I thought where good friends. not only not help me when I was down they kicked me down even further. 😮

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

@A M They abandon you when you need them the most because they took everything they could get. Most people don't want to believe a person would abuse another person like narcs do. 🙂

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

@A M Yep, especially when dealing with the narcs fake reality. 😁

[@paulzedx636ninja7]

@A M That's the suckiest part when they blatantly copy you then throw you under the bus. It's insanity it's like no one has a rite to their own personal style with narcs around. Narc's think their Intitled to everything, what their really Intitled to is being dragged into the street and being beat senseless. 😜

[@niraerlich9296]

The nasty malicious Angels In Disguise (for their own survival) can attuned perfectly to our own traumas. How genius insightful is Mel’s advice to look inside instead of trying to teach the Narcissists the lesson they will never be willing, ready, and capable of getting. The best way to achieve the best outcomes with the great gift of peace of mind.

[@katieann234]

The timing of this couldn't have been more perfect. Thank you. Hoping the smear campaign against me will end soon.

[@kg8046]

I just cannot stress how thankful I am for these KZbin videos. Days after Christmas quite by accident I saw a text from my soon to be ex’s girlfriend saying I love you blah blah blah. To be honest I can’t really remember what it said I was so shocked. My covert narc had me convinced he would never do anything like that. Omg. The trauma. I confronted him he tried to deny then saw I was holding his phone. I threw him out - and have gone no contact whatsoever. These KZbin videos on narcissists saved my life. I’m alone and scared and anxious about what I’m going to do now. But, these videos all of them really - have been my saving grace and have helped tremendously and I’m sure I’m not alone. I’m still watching, thanks.

[@radtechgirl8108]

They always believe the narcissist’s lies, always. If they believe lies about you, they don’t really know you and are not your friend. I thought the narcissist was my best friend. I found out everything out of her mouth is a lie. My co-workers knew she was a liar and still believed her. She is so evil and set me up over 10 years.

[@Bonnie55317-w]

I have a sister like that. And she was my best friend... or so I thought for many years. She turned into a major Narcissist . Then launched a major smear campaign against me. I had to reevaluate what a Friend.. truly is, and it isnt her. Thats for sure. Anyone that could do such evil is no friend. I am no contact now. She recruited plenty of family members as flying monkees. So that drove the knife even further into my back.

[@lovewillwinnn]

They will be accountable to the Supreme one when they’re called to account. Not to worry. Matthew 23:12

[@rationalmindriot7762]

Thanks Melanie...working at healing ...Job I lost from narc coworker who became my boss, family cult, broke up with narc girlfriend .....all smearing, still dealing with family now...all alone ..lost everything at the hands of these monsters....they really do target the empath

[@laketolbert866]

Thank you for this video. The context you provided about your background spoke to me. I actually have spent the past 2 days trying to exonerate myself to my mother from a lifetime of smearing within my family structure. She doesn’t even respond. I don’t have a choice but to stop caring what people think like you say. It’s just so hard when it’s your family, your mother. I must have some past life connection to this as well. My life has been so hard and I have gotten stuck in victimization the past few weeks (Mercury retrograde is resurfacing this I guess.) Anyway, thank you for your work in this field. I’m so glad you healed from everything.

[@bluebirdmacaje]

Lake Tolbert Hello don’t worry I’m under the same circumstances my mother is very hurtful and my ex-husband so I have to learn how to just keep going without caring about them but when it’s your mother it is something very hard my advice to you is to just take it a day at a time and try to have the least contact with her as sad as it may seem

[@MarkFerry1976]

It's true!! I now have a wonderful relationship with my mom who was my first persecuter. I still remember a phone call talking to a friend of her about how problematic I was. It was devastating hearing that as a child. She now speaks really well about me with everyone and I do the same. Miracles happen!!

[@bluebirdmacaje]

Honestly that’s wonderful I’m happy that issue with my mother and I can’t even be with her and today is her birthday I can’t it’s him and I’ve really worked on just letting things be and not getting upset thank you for your story I’m glad for you

[@zoomjenn]

I have spent the past 9 years trying to free myself of a narc ex and we are back in court on Friday. He is still trying to smear me as “the crazy one”. I really needed this right now. Thank you!

[@delicate.mascara]

I recently became the victim of a narcissist smear campaign. what I didn't know is that the smear campaign has been going on for at least two years. I had no idea but I thought it was weird that certain people had distanced themselves. It was more of a back-stabbing whisper campaign but is now more open and vocal. the narcissist actually calls me a narcissist. (also called me bipolar and unstable) the friend who clued me in that this has been going on didn't buy it - she had been around me enough to know I'm not like that. I'm relieved to know that my true character will shine through and people who know me won't be swayed. But as this video suggests, I have to work on not caring what other people think. It has kept me up at night thinking about damage control, but I don't need to worry about that.

[@bettinag8274]

This came to me in perfect timing - found out on the weekend my ex of 7 months has been contacting my friends thanking them for ‘looking after me’ and then referred to me as ‘bitter and twisted’ and that I am spreading lies about him. I don’t use my energy to talk about him and then to contact my friends saying I am bitter and twisted?? I was doing well in myself until I heard this - especially contacting my friends and saying such utter lies about me 😢. When we were together he used to ‘diagnose’ me with mental illness, even though he was in no way qualified to do so. It appears no matter what I do to distance myself from him and recover from his abuse, he will find s means to get to me indirectly through my friends - I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to anyone.

[@mamanadja1254]

You ask him to go to see Psychiatrist by himself to check his own mental illness IF he said you are crazy.. gaslighting and twisting are his weapon to confuse you.. don't worry you are okay.. he manipulate you with his twisting manipulative words..

[@deborahdtw]

I am so grateful that I found Melanie early in my journey back. I’m still working on my triggers. And I thank you Melanie for helping to teach me how to recognize them. I haven’t done the course all the way through yet. But I have found it very helpful. Thank you Melanie.

[@kimvannote5024]

Melanie, Thank You so Much for Sharing Your Story. So Sorry You Went Through That. I Understand How Insanely Hurtful These People Can Be. Very Good Video.

[@humairasheikh9203]

I can relate to everything you said in the video. Thank you for explaining it so well and openly speaking about what you went through. It's very inspiring and enlightening. I feel hopeful and strong just hearing you,that yes things can change. We must focus on us and better that,rather than explain and justify ourselves to others.

[@TanyaKatherine]

I am going to find and live free of my persecution programs NOW!

[@mdg1911rqford]

Brief but comprehensive, She’s great. 👍🏻

[@rebeccaleighton7650]

Ty your soul and heart for reaching out to others. I've realized these facts now for over half a year not allowing triggers my husband had found that he could produce the desired response to support his ill way mentally sustaining his excuses for his negativity and lashing out at me that noone else could see n hated me for seeing n knowing. I've come to recognize those triggers and dont respond but he's seen that and delves further into his illness for solution. I am battling what impression he sets out to others prominent people in our community at his work and his NA meetings where he goes but doesn't practice step work n dies absolutely no inside work but is solely based on ego n getting patted on the back for showing up. He's good at putting me down in a way that sounds as if he's having compassion and concern by altering the facts of our situation and the roll he's played in causing the upset and hurt and turbulence, I used to think if I could help him with his fear of looking at his shit honestly n realize thats where healing begins he'd b happy to do so, hahahahaha NO! All I can do now is work on my confidence reach out gain tools understand my life doesn't have to b sad and i can do something about it. I've reached out for support and am trying to come back to a center within myself where I know I possess the strength to take the next step towards a better healthier existence not consumed with emotional manipulation and pain and where I question myself my heart and intentions. Its scary to realize others have a completely different picture of whats gone on behind closed doors and that no matter what way I approach him, with love, openness, willingness to work on me the more I've tried the more he hates and distrusts me for seeing his shit n will never look at it differently. I've been taking on a different mindset as far as the fear of what others think and the hurt it causes when someone causes when being compassionate towards what they think your going through thats hurting you cause my husband made it believed when the one thing hurting n holding me back has been him and his illness, at first I questioned myself thought these people aren't insincere mayb I'm not being healthy n this or that way .... but would always b something like my work im good at that is confidence builder, I realized they're reacting off the impression given them about me by him. Dont care anymore just want to b better I've been affected by horrible manipulation and figured a lot of what I recently researched out on my own n with tools I've gathered over my life that i use everyday. At this point I have no desire to make him look bad, fix him, give energy towards fixing us as I could never do that but I can work on my own strength, independence, piece of mind and fears that me or my family may suffer consequences from my leaving him. I know working on me is utmost important concentrating on remembering my strength is key and nolonger caring what his family who doesn't know the facts or care i dont think or friends in community have to say or think of me. That piece of mind and confidence I long to feel again is becoming more important than all that fear. Again ty for reaching out to others your strong, inspiring, helpful and gives me even more hope and courage knowing I'm on the right track n there are more tools to b gained to get back to the mental emotional stability within myself even having to b in living situation with him RIGHTNOW.

[@newwalrus4913]

I lost my oldest son to a smear campaign, and now he has alienated me from my son. Nothing hurts more.

[@dawnemile4974]

As one KZbinr pointed out "Things could be worse, you could be the narcissist". Imagine being paranoid every waking minute that some victim will exact revenge?

[@Namanknocks]

😭 how genuine you are, 6 years a long time i am working on my inner wounds now I get your video. Feeling satisfied ☺️ thanks for the quality content 🙏 Love from India

[@NiseyT222]

I’m gonna find and live free of my persecution programs now.

[@alysencameron361]

the inner dragons must be slain to move forward. I did it. Melanie is spot on 100%

[@staceymil2087]

But your videos are giving me so much understanding and closure, I cant thank u enough, it makes so much sence...I seek so much comfort from the one person who ruined my life. Now I'm knowing and understanding alot more, so thank u

[@sisambagantayo]

I want to be heal from this trama,. Im still with narcissistic. I suffered from baldness big as a dollar coin for many years . I only want to live a normal and healthy life i am wonderful energetic joyful and friendly but look at me now , empty shell, i want to embrace my self i miss me, i need help but how i dont have money to seek counseling.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Claire, I have lots of inner transformation resources which I know will help you a lot - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse xoxox

[@sisambagantayo]

Thank you so much Ms. Mel for this link I know deep in my heart that 1 day i am going to face this world with smile .. God Bless you .

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

You are so welcome darling lady xoxox

[@me2tez230]

Watch the video by Alan Watts - the real you. (KZbin)

[@jenCo2020]

This is how I feel too. It's taken up all my brain space and Im very ill now.

[@rachaelhillenius65]

Your work is so profound and meaningful. Thank you. Sending love from all my heart. Bless you and the truth you deliver.

[@mzlww]

I’ve been trying to figure this out over ten years and I did understand my desire to be seen as good and even embraced my dark parts or shadow but not by accepting myself no matter what but by being what I needed. Hard to explain but this video shifted something for me. I think my tribe or type here on earth is like a keeper and or cop/ judge type and I guess I had to get that before I could truly understand I’m good despite others not seeing it. My real self doesn’t disappear just because I’m being attacked smeared and silenced!!! I can just have more patience and faith

[@suzannejohnson220]

Your vids help me launch pre-emptive strikes against potentials....thank you MTE!

[@AngelRaskauskasRoy]

Coincidentally the video watched immediately prior to this one was Robert Caplan’s NDE high frequency communication THE LOVE YOU SEEK IS WITHIN YOU. Thank you Melanie for not fearing high frequency communication - amazing video!

[@loribuonamici1398]

Melanie; This is an extremely meaningful video!!! You've once again taught me a great deal and given me positive steps to take to help make me a whole human being, which is my goal in (this) life. Many thanks and much love to you!!!

[@TanyaKatherine]

9:00 chills...Wow. This makes so much sense now. After a brief vacation I took I do feel very similar to this.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

Ive listened twice. Still crying

[@mamanadja1254]

DON'T worry.. you'll be fine..

[@aimeemarsh2364]

Thank you for this. Definitely getting better each day.

[@krisnewday8536]

Thank you so much what you posted it's happening to me you helped me realize that anybody that would believe what she says or I prove through his push to be doesn't know me important in my life I'm one of the lucky ones my son always believe me unfortunately he's with narcissist to very damaging narcissist well I'm going to listen again and let it sink into might intervene appreciate you carry on

[@vaporizedlunatic]

Today I found out how my narcissist mother has been smearing me in front of my grandmother (my mother's mom). The funny thing is that my mother has been smearing my grandmother in front for years too .She has been inflicting so much verbal and emotional abuse on my grandmother. The horrible effect of smearing is that I got cut off from support from outside my family and have been literally alone when dealing with all the horrible treatments by my mother.

[@Bonnie55317-w]

:( It's just plain evil how our own mothers can do smear campaigns against their own children. ??? That is no mother in my books. (Mine does the same) ,,, I am no contact for 10 months and counting.

[@brendasmith7345]

Oh geez! I had NOT a CLUE this was going to happen following the divorce and it was unbelievably traumatic to say the very least. This one is HUGE for me. I just worked on this 2x today in Mod 8.

[@rickhammar1636]

Hang in there. When my ex & I sat down with a court appointed mediater to discuss child custody lies & accusations came so fast & for nearly two hours I just sat there bewildered. Things so far out in left field I didn't even know what to say. The lady would ask for my response & I would say something like I don't have any idea what she's talking about. The problem is a narcissists lies are like a tv drama. Almost everyone will pick a drama or reality show over a documentary any day. Narcs know this so the more dramatic they can make the lies they know the better chance people will eat it up

[@lfn086]

This is so true Melanie. Thanks for this video. ❤️

[@SydMountaineer]

Yes, deeply unconscious people describes my family. I cannot be me anymore, because I walk on eggshells with my adult son - I thought I was free from narcissistic abuse, and now, my grown son has completely changed and is treating me terribly. If I show any emotions, or just simple feelings, concerns, or cares at all, negative or positive, somem people in my family thinks I'm "crazy" or WEAK. When I finally got away from my narcissist parent, and spouse and moved on with my life, things were good for a while - but now, my narcissistic parent is causing my grown child to question me! They treat me like I'm the one who's fragile, weak, or crazy, when they're the one with mental issues and who refuse to get help (they don't even think they need to get help) and work on themselves. They base this on the fact that I show empathy for animals, show positive care & concern for family members, etc, and it bothers them, they are in such denial, and also they feel shamed if someone asks, "How are you doing today?" They are so reactive, they react to their emotions with no control whatsoever. At least I respond consciously to every situation. I used to be reactive, but not as much as they are, even before I learned differently, I was able to deal with a lot without reacting.

[@sunflowerskies-]

I’m going to find and live free of my persecution programming now. Your quantum tools make so much sense thank you!!!🙏💗🦋🌈✨🌟⭐️

[@bonniejuris717]

Smearing is called SLANDER. Lawsuit! Document, build case and sue. Repeat.

[@carolynkeene5444]

I don't believe they believe their own lies. They think that if they say it often enough you will believe their lies.

[@livingfree7153]

NICE!!! Most fantastic video EVER made!!! I’m SO proud of you !! 🤗🤗❤️

[@staceyborrowman4681]

Im gonna live free from my internal persecution programs NOW! thx so much

[@littlemisshalo83]

Great video Melanie! 😁

[@myriamdimakopoulou6299]

Do you ever wonder if your ex husband watches your videos or what he thinks about it? Either way I guess you must be over those considerations . Great video very helpful.

[@michaelmorgan7893]

Despite a Christian upbringing, I've often believed I've had a past life somewhere. It sounds nuts, but my life seems like a never ending episode of The Twilight Zone, where the old traumas keep revisiting me, but through different people. The last two relationships have been hell. In both cases the women were narcissists who learned enough about me to find my weaknesses, then used them against me. My ten year relationship was spent being smeared and gaslighted and basically held financially hostage while she enabled her criminal dope addict gang member grandson. She would let him come and stay months on end while he terrorized me to no end. I got out of that a little over two years ago but not before having my head split open like a watermelon, and losing part of my vision to the drug induced rage of this lunatic. And as you said, she went to court and made it look like her grandson was defending against me, saying I went berzerk on him. That cost me being able to see him finally prosecuted for what he done, plus previous crimes where he ran over a man in Las Vegas with a car he forced me to sign for. Then, a month later I reconnected with a woman from my home town I loved for the last 27 years. She found me through Facebook, and the comic book character I was drawing based on her. We started talking and she was in jail for drug manufacturing and distributing. She told me she found God, and how she wanted to be with me til the end of our lives. She sent me letters saying so. Then last September upon her release from jail, she comes to see me to take the last money she would ever get from me. And stupid like, I had bought her a $150 dress and $100 necklace, both of which she made fun of. She was wearing the engagement ring of the man she was arrested with for drugs. A week later she cut off all communication with me without word one. So I don't know how to top that. Still looking for an answer. But no longer looking for love.

[@dls.76]

Don't let the narcs stop you from finding love. Set boundaries, and be open. If you see the red flags over and over you know its right to leave.

[@michaelmorgan7893]

@@dls.76 that's just the thing: both times in faith believing I trusted that both of these women had my best interests at heart. But I was too invested emotionally, and financially to walk away. God made a way after ten years of hell, for me to do that, and manage to keep most of my model train collection and railroad lantern collection intact. As for red flags, I didn't see them til after I was involved into the relationship. And it became more of a dictatorship than the two of us working together for one another. (This is the first one, where this one had the grandson she obsessed over) The second one now that I came to know her better, was destined for failure from the beginning. I have some common friends who were friends with her, and have told me about her life of prostitution and drugs and as a connection out pushing drugs to anyone she can sell to. It cost one of her friends her sister's life. So maybe God helped me Dodge another bullet there. But at the same time, my whole search for love has been fruitless, and a disaster over the past 35 years. I'm 53 now, with disabilities. Too old to start out on that dream family. I'm just done with all of it.

[@dls.76]

@@michaelmorgan7893 Stat watching positive affirmations and journaling what your greatful for. The lessons in how it made you stronger. I'm 43, single for 22 years after a horrific divorce which my ex intentionally turned my 2 now adult children against me... Don't give up, be more aware and watch the videos. I have a therapist that is really good. You can find one that will help you heal to heal your past for a much brighter future... If you want her number I will give it to you. She has dealt with Narc parents relationships and will be best to guide you...

[@nahnahnah8184]

I'm glad I found you. This is going to sound so weird and strange, but here's my confession: my dad was a womanizer who always complained about American women and how foreign types were so much better, this, that, yadda yadda. I must have been 12 or 13 when he started dumping that and constant criticism on me. To make a super long and agonizing story short, he married a woman from the gold coast who was easy to control like his ex-wife, my mother, until she was angry and stressed out to the max. There's so many wonderful people from Australia but I didn't realize how the accent by itself brings up anxiety and stress. Listening to you will be exposure therapy. I'm sorry to sound so weird and how something so small could still bring this up after so much healing, but I'm thanking God right now I found you.

[@carriepaasch7605]

All to hide her stuff...im always been the scapegoat and done with it...i walked away and she is still obsessed and doing mind boggling things but I hold my position to not respond because I learned does no good makes it worse as you said....she caused me to not see my kids for the last 8 years now..and counting...well 8 amd a half...i hate her amd her evil inside

[@sflo4538]

Your hair is beautiful! 😍

[@dawor1761]

My soon to be X, First sent a bad letter with the Divorce papers to my Dad (he has a heart condition! And my soon to be X is a heart Nurse RN!!). Then, she went to the neighbors. And then to my kids school, telling all the teachers and administrators. Last, she went to our Church and all our friends far and wide. Ouch! I don't stand alone. GOD is with me.

[@jenniferm.giroux9086]

Thank you so much for posting...you guidance is helping me immensely! 😀💕

[@killachief187]

It sounds like my story. I feel for you 💔 thanks for this information.

[@crencottrell7849]

Narcs will *stay* narrow-minded once they think something negative about you 🙄 Beyond exhausting! No contact/no more interaction is necessary at that point :p

[@runwiththewind3281]

Down under, thank you for helping me understand.

[@maggiebeck4492]

I'm going to find and live free of my persecutions now.

[@248raya]

This applies to me in a huge way, still work to do. This video brings me to a question you may also have the answer: I have lost many people in my life, but never was devstated about it. Just see the reality and could deal with it. But some - ha ha very heroic in other area's but not in this - are totally broken, until getting agressive against me when i say this is a thing of life and so on. Is it that this and other triggers for different people the same kind of thing to work through in their life? Just curious to know and understand more about this. Thank you and love from the other side of the planet, the Netherlands xxx

[@livingfree7153]

I’m reaching out for help for my child that’s been alienated against me. If anyone knows an organization please respond. He’s 18 now.

[@jasonstone8222]

Past life? Well I don't think I can believe that because I have zero memory of past lives. But do remember virtually every detail of this one.

[@namesalltakenWTF]

I’m going to live free of my persecution programs now!

[@zinilebt6002]

Wow this is wisdom right here. I love it. Actually, it could be just this one deep understanding that could free us forever. It is like Narcisssissts are universal trainers for us to just trust. Like in Quicksand: The more you fight the deeper you sink. My English is not perfect but let me tell you a little Situation I had with this. We were sitting in a community garden a team meeting with all people there. One guy is a Narc, I guess, he always pulled my plants out of the ground and destroyed a lot of my projects. So we talked about cutting the trees and he misunderstood ( intentionally or unintentionally...) what I was trying to say. So I looked at him and instead of reacting immediately I just took some time for a thought: "Well is this guy stupid, do I really have to set that straight? Well no whatever." In that moment another guy jumped in and explained to him what I have just said. that led the Narcissist to become grumpy and leave the table. So everyone saw that he was a little too emotional for the Situation. But I never tried to tell anybody of the plants he destroyed because I was afraid that no one would believe me. And if I'm afraid this happens: Guess what: It will happen 😀 In the end narcs help us to understand universal laws so that we are able to see our traumas and heal.

[@ladeedaa1419]

I just purchased your book for the survival mode, I’m currently battling. I knew this Narc from 2 years ago and after 2 dates I moved on. He heard ( or waited for the day) I inherited my fathers business and came back love bombing. I didn’t know all these terms and definitions but I unfortunately do now. I flat out told him that I know what you’re up to and that’s where my world flipped. He’s extorting a very large amount of money from me. 30K. This’s apparently called Sextortion. He recorded an intimate FaceTime call and holding it over my head. Not that this detail matters, but I didn’t fully expose with my panties off. Unfortunately self pleasuring was involved. Normally I wouldn’t be embarrassed of this, but I am for falling for this. Cops can’t be involved in this. He’s in survival mode for owing money to a crime family. Things I DIDNT KNOW. I asked around and I’m devastated for after the awakening. I’m scared just writing this comment. I have until tomorrow night he said. Yet I heard his debt deadline is Wednesday. Please, please don’t judge me on this🙁I was married for 10 years and I’m making some critical mistakes.

[@ladeedaa1419]

I forgot to mention that I had a Narc parents and brother. I’ve battled smear campaigns my whole life. I mean BIG campaigns that always took years to recover from. Example: I cared for my dying mother. When it came time for hospice, in the last 2 months. I was forbidden to be near the place and my mother. I was only called when she had just died. 10 years to recover from that. I get it now!! Thank you for showing me this so I can spiritually face this, deal with it and release it.

[@therymer5513]

I'm having a very hard time identifying the pain in my body as I work through moduale 1 and 2. I have all over pain from Fibromyalgia, joint pain from Sjogrens Disease, and muscle Ann's nerve pain from Ded. Disc Disease. It's hard to discern the pain I feel all the time, versus the pain that's supposed to light up when I do the healing. How do I work through the clearing of trauma with all this other pain getting in the way?

[@karagraham9764]

the Rymer the trauma is causing those physical health challenges. I have a few of them and slowly, had to start walking each day while learning to feel how my body and posture are carried via mindfulness

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi the Rymer, please come into the NARP Forum for guidance and support for this - the angels in there will gladly help you. Alternatively you can email [e-mail] and they will be able to assist you too xoxox

[@lottesrensen8004]

I suffer from somthing similar...fibromyalgia, ME, addisons, other autoimmune illnesses, endometriose, cystes, fibromes, ect.. i am stdying the background and i have no doubt its mainly inflicted by lifelong stress caursed by narc. Abuse ect. My adrenals are burned out from stress and pretty much caurses the rest or play together with it . We get ill from being treaded like that to be exposed to severe stress constantly and maybe lifelong. For many years i didnt understand i had no knowledge and i couldnt figure out why i lost everybody. Now i realize the lies that was and are told about me or the effect of me reacting to the abuse that people do not vitness , but they see my reaction and that is used to make it look like im the problem. Suddenly it all makes sense. Im horryfied. Im so afraid of loosing my son too he is all i have left.

[@megan5873]

Wow melania you really got a malignant one. You are very inspirational look how strong you are now.

[@johngolles9616]

I think I am right there, right now. After 20 years of hell. Thank you so much !!! 💕 💕💕

[@grey3871]

Can you do a video on persecution programming? Please. Like detailed? I feel like this is my biggest wound! I have the biggest fear of no one believing me and it's really hard for me to let go when people misjudge me/accuse me of things that arent true! I feel like I always need justice and it makes me feel weak at times. I was abused as a child by my borderline mother and narc father and I was the scapegoat (because I was the truth teller) and no one believed me. Not even til this day except my one sister. Ived also dated 2 narcissists who smeared me and it felt like my childhood all over again. I dont want this anymore

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Grey Day, thank you for sharing and for your request. Please Google my name and 'persecution' too, that way the appropriate resources will pop up for you to help you navigate this. Love and blessings xoxox

[@grey3871]

@@MelanieToniaEvans thank you so much❤

[@onemercilessming1342]

A smear campaign only demeans the person who is doing the smearing. Keep in mind this bit of advice from The Notebooks of Lazarus Long: Living well is the BEST revenge. Time will out those who attempt to demean you. Then THEY have nowhere to go when their lies cover their own faces.

[@Razainthewoods]

My ex husband is going around saying I am mentally ill and have multiple personality disorder! Where he came up with this creative smear is beyond me

[@erockfreedom6399]

I'm going to find and love free of my internal persecution problems now

[@Mary-wj2po]

First, I'm wondering if going no contact is best done without any kind of announcement to the narcissist? "My" narcissist relative lives far away, but still managed to inflict devastating financial damage. She'll probably send me the usual email on my birthday in a few days and at this point, responding at all would feel like playing nice to someone who just raped me. She has come through with some compensation and it's tempting to keep the channel open for that, I confess. But being my authentic self seems more valuable at this stage of the game. If anyone has any thoughts about it, I'm open for suggestions! Thank you for everything you do for us Melanie!

[@stephanyalisova94]

If she sends you an email, respond with Thank you but continue to maintain your distance and dont engage beyond Thank You.

[@barbaraa9362]

I would make the first move don't let it wreck your birthday. I think being authentic you would hsve to speak up for yourself waiting putting her in the drivers seat how uncomfortable and awakward you are actually in a manipulation or in a position to change the situation and stand up for yourself forever establishing boundaries drawing your toe in the sand right? All you need to say is "look I just want you to know what is going on right now is not cool and it doesn't support the person I AM. She will respect you more than if she sees you give in, because it will be a new low as to how much you will put up with. Try not to avoid it',

[@Mary-wj2po]

@@stephanyalisova94 Thank you very much for the feedback, Stephanya!

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Mary you are very welcome. There is no need to announce your No Contact -- actions do speak louder than words! Wonderful that you are going to honour you xoxox

[@Mary-wj2po]

@@barbaraa9362 Thank you Barbara! I'm so grateful for the feedback! Even the differences in the feedback I've lovingly gotten only show me how we all have to deal with the almost impossible dilemmas that the narcissists present to our very survival and how much we all really care about each other. A deeply heartfelt thanks and love goes out to you and to all who have responded to my request for advice. We're a family!

[@starrysparkles404]

Just imagine being a narc/ sociopathic monster, going around destroying ppls lives, and betraying confidences, betraying your closest most loving relationships, being nasty evil and extremely vindictive. Then imagine the fear they must feel. The karma/ law of sowing and reaping. If you plant evil ,you'll reap evil. And the fact that you KNOW you're bad,deep down inside. Bad enough to murder those that loved and trusted you..... It's mind blowing. I mean, just being so evil that you are trying to hurt everyone you can. It's for SURE going to come back on them. I 100% assure you of this. There's a Judgement Day. And they will NOT be able to smear,triangulate , and lie to God. They'll pay in spades, and in torments and suffering for what they put us through. I've just been getting better and better. Never been so sober, clear minded,closer to God, lost 20 pounds,quit drinking and drugs. I just keep getting better because God helps me. Btw,if you're leaving or are about to leave, make certain that there's NO SPYWARE on your devices,or GPS trackers in your stuff. These people would stalk you to the ends of the earth if they can. Factory reset doesn't always work to eradicate the stalkerware. See a professional, document the stalking and stalkerware, and put them in jail for stalking you, bring them down any way you can, and protect yourself! If in a custody dispute,get a nanny cam and use it to document your life, and how well you're looking after the kids. Warn them that the other parent is vindictive, and document, document, document. Get non WiFi security cameras,a large dog and a lawyer if you can. If you want to know for sure if he or she is spying on you, Download the Anti Stalker app from Google Play store. It will tell you if he's activating your cam and microphone to spy on you. Be aware that your car may have GPS,your backpack and purse can as well. Download a find hidden devices app, and go over everything with it. Gauranteed you'll be surprised at how psycho these people are. And an old device can infect a new one via infected files transferred by Bluetooth.So don't allow your kids to recieving devices and bring them to your home. Make them leave it over at his place. Throw away the old ones or Keep them for Evidence. Good luck and stay SAFE out there! And do not date until you're healed, and avoid dating sites, they're literally hunting ground for killers,narcs, and sociopathic monsters.Glad I figured this all out. God helps me and may He speedily vindicate us against these lying Predators.

[@valeriedemerchant7298]

My ex Narc smeared me for years behind my back with my son ! I didn’t know what was going on before the damage was done 💔

[@c.9850]

I know a counsellor who bumped into me and totally tore me apart after I have been so good to her. I have been shaking for days. What do I do?

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi C. Smith, I recommend going within and processing the emotions you feel about this event. My free workshop can show you how. You can sign up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox

[@anusharamachandran]

Thank you, Melanie! 🙏🏼❤️

[@pavanatanaya]

From stalking his ex, to character assassination of his friends, I exposed him. Family is the current day F word

[@areyoumarriedtothemusic4635]

is there a video on losing friends to the narcissist and how to deal with this? when they believe them

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Here is a video that can help hun: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o4bYfGmeecaejZY Love and blessings xoxox

[@user-kt7fn9ey8b]

Hi! I’m going through an experience of leaving a group of 10,000 narcissists in the form of a cult. I could really use help. Do you think you would ever be open to doing a video on this or a healing with something like this

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Elle please know that we have had individuals on NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp who have worked the program to get free emotionally and physically from cults and large organisations. We also have a member's forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/member to help deeply support you with this. I certainly will consider creating a supplementary video on this topic in the future. Sending love, power and strength to you xoxox

[@user-kt7fn9ey8b]

Thank you! I will check that out!

[@sharonmbi973]

Thank you

[@recyclespinning9839]

How about when you are partners with the narcissist that says that she does all the work in the business but you're the one doing all the work in the business?? True story, we are 50/50 owners and she only stopped by twice on the property in 12 years. I manage/ maintain/ rent, >>> she told her accountant she does ALL the work , I accidentally found out when I went to the same accountant for income tax .. I never knew about NARCASISTIC people. I guess there delusions have no limit!!!. Stay away ,,, they can sabotage your name and reputation,,,and in business that is pretty much all you have !!!!!

[@leelee1921]

I am going to find and live free of my persecution programs now!

[@highstandards6226]

Thank you!

[@Agnieszka_Krok]

I’m gonna find and live free of my prosecution programs now!🙏❤️

[@niraerlich3016]

Being able to defeat the brutal cruel vindictive smear ttck by the vacuous Narcissist gives great hope and relief

[@namesalltakenWTF]

Thank you for your work.

[@nathaliepaul80]

Amazing message thank you 🙏

[@DaMan1964]

What if the smear is true.. feeling ground down for over 8 years my motivation is low and I do little here at home. She escalates the "treatment" because she needs to feel righteous in breaking up the defacto relationship and take the house and whatever else. I hate to say this but I feel defeated atm.

[@waragainstmyself1159]

Look up mgtow bro. Protect yourself. Get pissed b

[@a.s.2957]

Not because I'm a woman but we go through worse and I am going through this for 4 years and it's getting harder for me

[@oazazdravlja5]

Wow ……deep philosophy,I like that!👏👏👏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@manifestdigitalagency]

I am going to find and live free from my prosecution programmes now.