Memento Mori, Baby!

I'm back in Wisconsin visiting family and, wow, I gots the feels today!
Memories!!
My dad is gone and I'm wandering his house, the house I grew up in, and every object -- the photographs, the deer antlers, the old wooden furniture -- it all reminds me of my old man, and of the old man I'm becoming (??!!).
And so this video is about the Buddhist teaching of impermanence or annica, but it's less "about" change than a tour OF change. From the old antique coffee grinder hanging on the the wall, to the bobblehead doll from the "A Christmas Story" movie, the objects in this house are a reminder of the passing of time -- which, let's face it, is happening at light speed.
Each moment, from the small ones like throwing out a dead mouse, to the big ones like a family wedding, our life marches forward. "Memento mori" is a Latin phrase meaning "remember, you must die," and as objects, memento mori remind us of the truth of impermanence. To reflect on our mortality is to put life in perspective and to let what is unneccessary and wasteful fall away.
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[@nyamkhamimi4261]

Great video. I resonated with every single word, wanting to scream out one "YES!! YES!!!" after the other! Your videos are really gaining momentum, I mean you seem to be ever more and more totally merged into what you are saying - or rather, your words seem to erupt effortlessly and super precise straight from the core of your experience. It's such a gift, when someone finds these kind of words for you when you yourself don't - from a place that is so deeply personal but at the same time so universally human that I can effortlessly resonate on the same wavelength - the wavelength of our common human condition in all its glory and groundlessness.. It's such a relief and warmth to simply listen to this.

[@zenconfidential25]

Mimi-san!! Thank you. I can't wait to see you soon!

[@Buddhamonkeydevil]

That rug really ties the room together.

[@zenconfidential25]

That's what I thought! Let me take another look, it's down there somewhere! ;)

[@ninasnow9055]

OOOOOOOOHHHH boy do I get this! my mom aging etc. it's really interesting and feels like a gift/ totally terrifying depending on the day. thank you again.

[@zenconfidential25]

Yeah, it's an adventure having aging parents. And portentous.

[@urbanslamal4900]

THE one aspect of your videos I love the most ist the deep humaneness pouring from each and every one of them. Thank you so much!

[@zenconfidential25]

Wow, thank you my dear friend. This is inspiring just when I needed it!

[@nubedelluvia1884]

Mamma mia! I experienced that with my parents' house and even with my own when my husband died. And even though I'm older than I look, I feel like I'm in my second youth. I'm not kidding myself, on “the way back” to the valley. And yet the golden dome visits me sometimes, even when I am alone. That sensitivity to appreciate the changes is also sometimes a mirage in the perspective of time. On that way back, in a return, it seems that one comes back from far away, when we only complete circles, and "the things of life are simple and are devoured by time" as the bolero says... What hurts is something else, at least in my case, to try to communicate, to reach their heart at this moment, through all the layers...with open and patient encouragement and to see in life that they are no longer there.... Or that we are not as important to them as sons or wives as they were to us...Not a complaint, just a thought, a possibility Sometimes I think we really don't know our parents...and the most intimate beings.... I'm sure I'm wrong....

[@zenconfidential25]

Sometimes I think that too. It's hard to know one's parents, they are protective of those parts of themselves.

[@cyrilgcoombsiii]

you always articulate how I feel, probably due to generational similarity; you have a gift of expression that helps me make sense of things. thank you

[@zenconfidential25]

I'm so glad! Thank you so much for saying so.

[@fhoniemcphonsen8987]

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

[@zenconfidential25]

RIP Vangelis.

[@vikifilip]

Thank you for sharing your house and your emotions , while I looked at your video I was also looking at the objects in my room….each one represent a moment , and some precious moments I don’t want to let go, but they are already gone!

[@zenconfidential25]

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing!!

[@grantjohnson697]

Beautiful ending

[@zenconfidential25]

Thank you, my friend. Yeah, that view from the window says it all doesn't it.

[@hoogreg]

OMG, I think I'm your dad!

[@zenconfidential25]

Let's do a DNA test, pops.

[@crafty50golf]

For the love of...I bought one of those salt guns years back but don't really use it since I've gone all in on a different life perspective and opt to try to get them out or just let them ride out their short time "organically". Not the point though - point I jumped in to make is that I'm a moron and had to have you spell out the a salt gun = assault gun for me after having this thing all these years :)

[@zenconfidential25]

I know!! It took me a hot minute to make that connection too!!

[@TherapistwithTinnitus]

As Marcus Aurelius put it, “Yesterday a drop of semen, tomorrow a handful of spice or ashes.”

[@zenconfidential25]

Wow. Wise man!! ;)

[@zenconfidential25]

I'll never look at spice the same again.

[@mantas9827]

Can you please talk about surrender vs will in Zen? Am I right to assume that zen is more the path of surrender, rather than will? On one hand, I have heard you say to die each moment with your breathing (excuse me if I'm changing your words), I have also heard shunryu suzuki say "When you do something, you should burn yourself completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself", both of these things really resonate with surrender. But at the same time, I keep remembering instructions "to be a witness", which is more of the path of will. How can you get completely lost in an activity so that you 'burn completely' if you are observing? Or is observing and being a witness actually not part of zen instruction and i'm just mixing things up that i've heard? Because when I think of zazen, it's more of a 'letting go of our hand of thought 'and surrendering, isn't it? Whether you do it through the breath or by just sitting.

[@zenconfidential25]

I guess what I was taught us that there is a time for witnessing, and a time for, as Suzuki puts it, being burned completely like a good bonfire. The way my teacher put it is, the self dies, and the self is born. Also, you can die into or be burned completely by what you are witnessing. I'm not sure this answers your question, which is a very very deep one and touches on the question of whether or not we even truly have something like free will. A conversation I'm forever having with my Zen friends and my girlfriend.