men give me anxiety...here's why.

[@madisonvava8342]

I think it’s really harmful to teach girls to be wary of men to the point that they literally cannot function when in front of one. There’s a difference between being modest and straight up hyperventilating. my brother waved hello to our neighbour one day and this woman literally gasped and ran back inside. he’s 17 and she is like 30… that’s not healthy

[@SS-cu8se]

Yes. I also feel like it adds to the extreme view on muslim tik tok/social media that any form of interaction with the opposite gender should be avoided at all costs because apparently we are all donkeys that don’t know how to be normal human beings around the opposite gender in a respectful and professional way? I find people who struggle to interact with the opposite gender to be immature and emotionally stunted, and I think after a certain age, it’s actually very embarrassing. Every time I have ever interacted with a man, it has always been respectful and professional within the confines of what is culturally acceptable in society. I am only afraid of men who behave weirdly, but as someone from Canada, I have never been in a situation where a man has tried speaking to me inappropriately, nor have our interactions ever crossed the boundaries of what would be unacceptable. I think as women, we need to be more confident in ourselves and stern in our interactions with strangers, while still being respectful. But the moment you start to get shy or stutter, THAT’S when the interaction can be perceived as “something more.”

[@slowjamsliver7006]

@@SS-cu8se I wouldn't be too hard on yourselves for where you're at. Remember is Western women will do this too, but less running in terror on sight and more a general fear and anxiety. Liberal Feminism was big in the West for quite a bit, and while beneficial it had its flaws. Mainly its essentialism that made it so simple, this simplicity has probably kept some women from trouble, but it never tackled the racism in the USA and Canada. Thus western women also have a general fear of men, with it becoming more pronounces on racial lines. This being Black and Indigenous men being the most "dangerous" of dangerous men.

[@Oudplayer23]

​@@slowjamsliver7006yeah franz fanton touches on this matter in his book. As a marxist feminist, i think white/liberal/girlboss feminism is very dangerous to the actual feminist cause since it dismisses other forms of opression and intersectonality as a whole. We've seen how white women in the past have advocated for their own rights but not for the black brown and queer women

[@ayeshak6822]

Muslim. Can't relate. I have 3 brothers. Sure, a man following you out in the street at night is scary. But a man at a party? Why hyperventilate over that?

[@Oudplayer23]

@@ayeshak6822 it's just that some muslims are taught weirder versions of islamic values. My aunt is a teacher who's also hijabi and one of her students, who was once a very polite religious boy, became an islamist who refused to talk to her because she's a woman and according to him allah doesn't allow him to do so lmao. People take concepts to strange extremes

[@Zaihera.Ali96]

I nearly cried several times while watching this video. You spoke about something that I have been feeling and experiencing since I was 7 years old. At times, I detest that I have been conditioned this way, but at the same time, I don't know what I would be like if I hadn't been raised this way. My aim is to never attract any attention - good or bad. I wish I could be completely invisible to the male gaze and be able to live life freely without judgement or fear of men.

[@rabbitrichards3010]

i also grew up in a religious and cultural environment that segregated men from women, and i resonate with a lot of what you described ! but i have to add that i was anxious because of the judgments of women ! the mothers and aunties and grandmothers would treat us like we were scandalous, even if the men didn't even notice we were around.

[@1102Noob]

THIS. I was socially conditioned to perceive my body as sinful; primarily by women.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I think it also has to do with knowing men generally do NOT interact with women in good faith; their intent is less friendship as peers and more trying to get something from you, be it social or ego validation, or labor, or horizontal activities. So one does have to be more vigilant because it's more of a game, and if a woman doesn't play it perfectly, she pays the price, not the man. What pressure! Women have an easier time interacting with each other as equals, I think, even more so than men do when they interact with other men.

[@SS-cu8se]

This is interesting. In what context would a woman need to interact with a man unless necessary? The only men I interact with is my neighbours (engage in small talk) or a coworker. Anyone else, i keep any interaction (random hello, random discussions etc) as short as possible. I would not further engage in conversations more than what is necessary. I think as a woman it’s easy to shut those type of conversations down, unless the man is a weirdo in which you should try to get away from that situation as soon as possible.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

@@SS-cu8se I mean, plenty of women have male friends. Men are just people. My comment above was about how men are socially conditioned, not saying all men are not worth knowing, lol. I'm a woman and my best friend of over 25 years is a man.

[@marion.saturn]

I absolutely agree! Just couldn't put it into words. I think that's one major reason why I tend to avoid binary men altogther. I never know what they really want.. Or maybe I had bad luck with the previous ones 🧐

[@sciencedaemon]

That is how women behave all the time. You are on about nonsense.

[@DomDollx]

Ive been conditioned to speak up when men are being assholes 😂😅 I'm a hijabi who has been introverted growing up ...then became outgoing and extroverted bc i worked a lot of cutomer facing and sales jobs. I hate it when women willingly stroke men's ego while making themselves small. It's hard to be around.

[@bennett8535]

OK so way way WAY back in the 80s I was at university and in one of our classes we had to split up into groups for a project. I was an openly out gay white guy and one of the people in my group was a hijab-wearing Muslim woman from Syria. Very modest, and, like you describe, rather nervous around men. The nature of the project was such that we had to interact with each other and slowly over the course of the semester we got to know each other. Once she understood that I was gay, and had time to process this new experience, she slowly started to opened up and it turned out she was a smart, caring, lovely human being. We became fast friends during university and while it took her parents a looooong time to accept me as a friend, they were also quietly relieved that, at least in this case, they didn't have to worry about their daughter. Later, her fiance/husband needed time as well, but nowadays we're on good terms. I live outside the US now, but when I go back, I always visit them for a few days. And in the house, she doesn't wear hijab, so I guess that means I'm family. At any rate, our friendship helped her grow more comfortable around men. So maybe that's part of the solution? Get yourself a gay bestie? At very least, it'll boost your confidence.

[@bennett8535]

Sorry - need to give some context. My friends' family moved to the California when she was a child, and the family is pretty assimilated. She herself wore a headscarf but otherwise Western style clothes (albeit modestly) and her husband is a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. So neither came from conservative families. They are raising their kids be to comfortable among westerners and other non-Muslims.

[@Dontthink2muchaboutlife]

Such an amazing story ! I’m so glad to read this kind of story ❤ Bless you all and much love may God protect your purity

[@Blackgreenwhitered]

Dhe was comfortable with you, cuz you are gay. When women feel that your truely not trying to get into their pants (which I assume as a gay guy, your not) they are wayy more comfortable.

[@sciencedaemon]

What if you were not gay? Would you have been treated like a monster?

[@hellothere3683]

there's so many things I've experienced because of culture/religious upbringing whilst being in the West that I've never arriculated/heard others articulate except you on this channel - its so refreshing and validating. Thank you.

[@8lec_R]

I know you didn't ask us men, I hope I have something to add to the discussion I was raised as a boy (to be a man) and I have been always discouraged from engaging in with women/girls (modesty culture). I'm shy. Not very but yea. So I already have a hard time engaging with others. And years of not talking to women had absolutely shattered my ability to have normal human conversations with them. A lot of unlearning of ideas given by my culture and also from pop culture, and now I can get by; just a bit. Still can't get close to any of them cuz I still have a lot of work to do to be actually comfortable around women (especially ones who I find attractive, my brain shuts off and I can't talk no more). I used to assume that once I learned that I had a bad idea, and that I knew that there was a better alternative, I would be able to immediately switch and start doing the right thing. But it's really hard to do this one thing. Eh idk.

[@alexandrassupertramp]

It must be hard ❤️‍🩹 I feel like, for men, the key when you’re trying to learn to talk to women is to see them as friends first, but genuinely as friends. As someone who could make you laugh, teach you things, be beside you in difficult times and vice versa. Then, when you can see relationships with women like that, you’re ready to talk to them in a romantic way

[@SirAgravaine]

It is so hard to change because most of your life you have been told that even talking to a woman is a sin! It's not! We're people! Just like men are. We're supposed to work and live together. It's a hard journey but I'm proud of you.

[@SS-cu8se]

I feel for you. I think the key to talking to a woman (in general, not marriage etc) is just not caring. Remove her gender from the equation and speak to her how you would a man. If you can be respectful and professional around men, you can do the same for women. Those who come across as socially awkward are the ones who try to switch up when they come across the opposite gender. I can understand this when you’re around a woman you may have feelings for, but if you are someone who doesn’t know how to function around women in general, then you should take women off of the pedestal you may be unconsciously putting them and view and talk to them like regular people. See her as a human being first. As long as you’re respectful, you have nothing to worry about. Any other anxieties you may have are all in your head.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

That's hard as well. I'm 46 and have never been on a date. I have women friends, more then men but I think being friends and being something more are two different things. I don't know, I can't imagine a woman being romantically interested in me.

[@8lec_R]

@@SS-cu8se thankyou for the advice, I have tried it and it really does work. In most situations 😅. But yea. Work in progress

[@valeriebeauchamp2263]

As someone with a lot of social anxiety that video is very relatable and helpful.. I like that it ends with solutions you gave yourself, very insightful, very inspirational . Thank you ⭐

[@ArabRocker04]

As a non hijabi Arab American Muslim , I was taught from a very young age I was taught not to talk to boys until I got to the age when I could get married. I had guy friends in high school, but I would only hang out with my neighbors. 41 years later people are still asking why I am weird around men. It is not just because of my neurological condition it’s also cultural.

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

It’s normal.

[@JaCaraKM]

In my early 30’s I went to a gaming convention with my then husband, now ex-husband. When we walked into the big convention center, I had a full blown panic attack because we were surrounded by all men. I would say that the convention was 99% male and I was not mentally prepared for what I encountered. That is when I knew that I had a real fear of men. I think everything you said about upbringing and culture contributed to this fear along with seeing men be actually very violent towards women in my family. I was so surprised by my reaction to being around all those men. I still have some difficulty with anxiety when I am around mostly men. There are very few men that I can be around, relax and enjoy myself. Even then, I always have in the back of my head that things could go sideways quickly so full trust is never there.

[@doda-os3bp]

For me it depends on the man, I live in a European country and I'm SO normal when speaking to men of that country/other european countries because it's almost assumed that the interaction is purely casual/friendly but the moment someone middle eastern enters the conversation I became very self conscious because there's this unspoken statement of "I see you, you see me and we both probably grew up the same way in regards of how we should interact with each other" and it makes me just lose my personality and I start not acknowledging them at all because I dont know if they are gonna take it the wrong way

[@manuelpalmeira7278]

Exactly how I feel around middle eastern and desi women

[@femalesupremacistoverlord6800]

I really appreciate hearing your perspective on this, especially since it’s so different from mine. I really hope as you continue to grow as a person this anxiety lessens, not just for your own comfort but because you’re a very insightful person and it’s unfortunate to think that your anxiety may prevent you from contributing to discussions in mixed company. Personally I grew up with a prejudice against boys because I met some real jerks at an early age. Rather than make myself more timid and quiet I was opinionated, sarcastic, and at times threatening when I knew a boy liked me haha. Since becoming an adult I’ve mellowed to the point where I’m naturally very friendly and comfortable joking with men, including strangers. Unfortunately that can leave me open to unwanted attention(including from predators) who either take my friendliness to mean I’m weak or flirtatious. My parents always cultivated my confidence and found my aggressive personality humorous so I feel very comfortable in situations where I know there can’t be any danger. But being aware of how many men view women so disrespectfully, the only anxiety I get is from the thought of men s3xualizing me.

[@TheYazmanian]

For me it depends. If it's a social gathering, I don't feel anxious around men, but rather the women make me more anxious. I've experienced a lot more judgement from women than men in the past (I am female). However, if it's strangers on a dark road at night, then I'm going to be more nervous about a man. But honestly, all strangers trigger me a little, since I have social anxiety.

[@SirAgravaine]

Yeah, I feel like in the Muslim community this divide between the sexes is only getting stronger. It makes me angry as I get older because why do women have to make themselves invisible even in front of their own fathers and brothers? What is the point of wearing hijab and covering and all that if you are scared to interact? Men are also scared of women, in a different way, usually if you're part of the same culture/background. But if you're outside it, you're free game.

[@fark69]

It is getting stronger. I think the reason is that as Muslims in the West, if you want to just mix among sexes like everyone else and wear the clothes everyone else wears and do all the things everyone else does, then you find yourself among non-Muslims much more and for you Islam has less and less to do with your life. Whereas in a Muslim country, the people who live liberally and the people who take every Quran verse seriously are all Muslims, so being one or the other doesn't make you question if Islam is compatible with your lifestyle as much

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

What are you talking about? Women do not have to cover in front of their fathers or brother!

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

@@fark69Huh?

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

I don’t think you’ve ever read the Quran. There is no hijab or invisibility in front of father or brother. Women and men who are not related are not supposed to interact expect when necessary.

[@tarikmehmedika2754]

Tbh i felt in one instance how women might feel vulnerable. I was studying to very late, and not to disturb my wife and son i asked my mom to study at her place. So it was nearly midnight and i was so exhausted and walked so slowly the 200m to my apartment building as and old man. When i was fairly close to the building i felt someone being too close to me, behind me and felt very uneasy, may have had some lower anxiety that i could be attacked, so i picked up my pace and went to the building as fast as i could. I did glance at the person, and it was a man dressed in dark clothers. I taught to myself how could a woman feel if i, a man of nearly 2m tall felt uneasy.

[@fareedamariam]

Most black folks have a mistrust and fear of YT people. Our history and experiences have taught us to be. So it’s perfectly natural for us as women to be fearful of men. DV, lack of basic rights, violence, SA, Salem witch trials, and Afghanistan laws have taught me this.

[@KLuqman01]

Bad argument. Most men and women, fortunately abhor and don't perform the acts you mentioned.

[@fark69]

I used to watch a lot of this channel years ago, and it's kind of weird seeing how far the viewers have gone. Like are you seriously saying laws in Afghanistan make it normal for you to fear every random man you come across? It's literally the exact same Islam phobia argument people use to say terrorism makes it right for them to fear all Muslims...

[@bevs9995]

spoiler alert: most YT people have a mistrust and fear of most Black folks. probably most non-blks do

[@wayneessar7489]

It seems normal to be unsure about the unknown until you gather more information.

[@sciencedaemon]

Yes, and that applies to men also. This victim narrative that men are automatically a threat is offensive and sexist.

[@macondiano503]

Yeah, this is sadly very common. But not just from conditioning but also from experiencing sexual harrassment and experiencing friends go through similar experiences. Even from a young age, boys will learn to pray on girls and when that happens often the girl is blamed... So of course. There is no way to feel comfortable - no one is trying to protect us.

[@sciencedaemon]

A load of anti-male nonsense. It is males that get blamed all the time when they are innocent. Blamed by females. Females learn to pray on males for all kinds of things. You are looking at the world through your paranoid delusions.

[@moonarium57]

Is it weird that I feel the same way but only around Arab and Muslim men? Idk if it’s a form of anxiety but I hate spaces where they’re present lol, for context I live in the west, and I won’t even go to the local library I’ve been going to my entire life just because for the past few 3 years there have been 2 Arab guys working there and I hate the way I feel every time I’m around them - it’s like I’m not at ease, tensed and just feel their gaze on me. I find it so strange that white men dont bother me as much unless they’re seemingly Muslim (there are many revert Muslims where I live)

[@fark69]

So you are a Muslim who hates going to the Mosque or to an Islamic lecture or to Hajj or to a group iftaar?

[@manuelpalmeira7278]

I feel the same way around Arab and desi women

[@exquisitemoments]

It's always interesting and a joy listening to you. Also love the keffiyeh on the back of the chair.

[@YoutubeAnonUser]

Repent to Allah (SWT) and cling to quran and sunnah.

[@themeowparlour]

You've been raised to be modest in front of men...

[@This_Is_Just_To_Say]

In terms of being nervous around men, more cautious, less yourself, yes, I think that's quite normal. Gender segregation, does, of course, exist, and of course it makes it more difficult to interact as humans. Determining to be yourself, with patience and understanding, allowance for confusion, being comfortable--- I think that's a great way to navigate human complexities. On a natural level, I do think it's always a bit of an unsure thing, to interact with other humans. Will the other person accept the interaction? How do we navigate that interaction once it's started? Isn't it natural to suppose that someone who's a bit like you, say, a fellow woman, would be more open to connecting? So, naturally, humans do end up grouping themselves, those groupings produce their own cultures. I think that's fine, to have groups, it just becomes a problem if those groups are forced. There should be freedom in connection, and just connecting as people should always be an acceptable basis. Rigid segregation of groups makes it difficult to taboo to have human connection, to have humanity. Tbh, I don't think that gender apartheid/segregation can be an acceptable cultural difference. To quote James Baldwin: "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist." Apartheid will always be rooted in othering people and then dehumanizing that other, creating a fallacy for denying everyone personhood and humanity. I don't think oppression is really culturally intrinsic, it's more like... it co-opts culture, makes culture subservient to itself, which in a way, degrades the culture itself, reduces it to being a means for enforcing the oppression rather than being something in and of itself. Like with religion, the purpose of religion should be spirituality, shouldn't it?

[@nahoooli]

This is me and I have no idea why. The only way I can overcome my anxiety around strange men in the wild is by pissing myself off that this world was not created by God just for them to be comfortable. Then I get some courage about it.

[@Maria-gd4vf]

I like your videos before even watching them, isn't that love? If not then I don't know what is. Thanks for the videos sis ❤ I am personally a muslim unmarried girly and I choose not to engage with men too much. They have a tendency of thinking a girl is into them just because she is nice. I learned the hard way when I got a stalker just from being nice. I only open up more to men I am actually interested in marrying lol. Also, I find most men just boring, I don't enjoy conversing with most of them so I don't.

[@maryamw-d7l]

I do that around aunties 😂 probably because I've noticed that a lot of them are judgy. But I get what you mean. I've noticed I get confused around guys because I don't know what the gender rules are for their families... like are we supposed to interact or not?

[@donwrrybouti]

That friend must feel so lucky to finally unlock your true form 😂 I definitely relate, I think the influence of both religion and culture has made me esp awkward around men and tbh around certain women too. sometimes i almost mourn my younger self who was way more extroverted and authentic than i currently am. i can't help but wonder if this hyperviligance and constant reading of the room was just due to me growing up and maturing or does it have to do more with being socalized as a hijabi in a strict household and in a community that reinforces a culture of shame? anyways jazakallahu khayran Tazzy and I'd love to hear more about how you unlearn that conditioning and stop putting others' concerns first!

[@AG28996]

I used to get so anxious to the point that I can’t talk to them if I’m alone with them (say a store or at work) But I noticed that I got rid of that gradually the moment I lived alone and was forced to be independent and face different scenarios with men. I think I was always in the comfort of my family, and as you said, conservative and religious as it was, I wasn’t socializing with any men even my cousins. Plus there was no need/occasion for it. Long story short, I just needed to be familiar with such encounters.

[@shallnoTfear]

Hey Tazzy, I grew up knowing to lower my gaze, hide my body, and become quite around men. And I believe I grew up in a much more liberal home than yours cuz I do talk to my male cousins lol! I am still unlearning this because I chose wrong men to surround myself with at times because it was whatever forms of love/acceptance that came my way. I also am intentional about just being me around male at work or in a social setting. It sucks because knowing male psychology earlier would have been better for me in the long run but it is what it is now. As usual, interesting topics and cool video! 👍🏽

[@cheekykitten25]

I just opened the door to three bricklayers 😂 I don’t get anxious just nervous because it’s men.. you have no idea of their intentions. With my work way back before I was married I was always very confident around strangers and as such males. It didn’t bother me a single bit. When I got married I quickly realised my husband wasn’t comfortable with me being so comfortable around the opposite gender. So I slowly began “retreating” what is essentially my personality. It’s a very double edged sword, Islamically speaking, it is great, it avoids non essential conversations and thus saving you from any kind of “sin” In a more social aspect it can be difficult as it makes you shy/introverted around men and it can come off as rude, especially when you wear a hijab it can change how we can come across as oppressed! Saying this i definitely do not hold back telling anyone, male or female if they’ve peed me off. Anyhoo good topic to discuss.

[@inumira]

Thanks Tazzy for always putting the immigrant/multiculti experience into such relatable words :)

[@Blackgreenwhitered]

Mostly...I change my behavior around Muslim men because i do not want them to think..i am interested in them. Or have my behavior seen as ..flirting. cuz I am naturally a very..laughing talkative person....and in some cultures..thats a "oooo she is interested" in you. I remember when I was 14, I had traveled to my birth country. I smiled at a guy at a wedding..just thoughtless....and as an American you smile..cuz thats the nice thing to do....but in my birth country...smiling at a guy...is a totally diff thing. So the guy later asked me...oo why did you smile at me. I was like there wasnt a reason, its just the nice thing to do. That was the moment I learned that, body language in one of my culture can mean totally different things in my other culture. So yea, you have to adjust. Also the Bear vs. Man... thing. I think most women know that a bear isnt gonna rape them. Not saying that all men are rapest, but if you put that option out there....a bear will tear u a part. But a man can possibly also sexually assult you. Women are generally taught not to trust men for that reason.

[@suhaahmed4771]

Before playing this video, I thought this topic was a generalization of men giving anxiety, headache, and pain to women, but it's actually about a personal experience and struggle which I sort of relate with. If I know a man and there is a purpose for our interaction (school, work, greeting them, etc), I can interact with them respectfully and with delight. However, genuinely I don't know how to interact with men that are strangers or I have seen around in my community. I find myself struggling making eye contact or even making conversation. I wouldn't say I get anxious around men, but I feel uncomfortable in social gatherings (ex/ MSA) where there are too many men - I prefer female dominant environments. I'd appreciate if someone has advice how to overcome this; I would not want this to impact when I start looking for marriage.

[@silverstarlight9395]

Looking for marriage 😂

[@suhaahmed4771]

@@silverstarlight9395 What's funny?

[@silverstarlight9395]

​@@suhaahmed4771 do you even have a boyfriend? Whom do you intend to marry, a tree?

[@mooktakim]

Everything you're saying its also the same for men with women. Its the culture we're brought up in.

[@qounqer]

I think the natural division between the sexes results in mutual fear for a big proportion of the population. While men aren’t afraid of physical violence, we are deathly afraid of reputation destruction, which is far, far more like to occur then a man violently assaulting you. Being an average western man involves wondering if you’re scaring your female coworkers by asking them work questions and just how badly mistakes in social interactions can snowball into you being labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. with no real trial or jury, just on “vibes”. To nice is bad, to little is bad. I generally just don’t really talk to them without a reason. Super handsome high seratonin guys usually get a completely different set of stimuli growing up though, which is one reason why they’re weirdly prone to sexual assault, just used to getting their way. Women have very little power outside a group, inside it though, their naturally social and people focused nature allows them to outcompete most men for influence. They took over the Porte in a couple generations because of the extreme power of “please like me 😢”.

[@coralBlue]

I'm not anxious around them but less friendly to the point that one of my males classmates pointed it out, I thought he would get it because he's also Muslim but I think different nationalities handle this differently even if we control for the same religion, think Lebanon vs saudi

[@sciencedaemon]

Because you are biased against males.

[@shamidkpzd]

I am more guarded around men. I am wary of them and do not trust easily.

[@sciencedaemon]

You are a sexist.

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

I don’t think what you’re describing is androphobia. You’re just Muslim. Normally Muslims do not mingle.

[@sciencedaemon]

You mean misandry.

[@mimo4856]

I don't wanna be that person who comments if a lady is preggers or not, but I hope you're okay Taz because you sound really breathless.

[@Pleiades21]

U were right lol

[@ayeshak6822]

Muslim. Can't relate. I have 3 brothers. Sure, a man following you out in the street at night is scary. But a man at a party? Why hyperventilate over that?

[@silverstarlight9395]

Cultures where half the population is taught that the other half is so trashy that it's not even worth talking to, are not 'good' cultures. They teach sects of the population to dehumanise the other sect to the point where even day-to-day banter in the office is deemed abnormal. I'm sorry you were born in a culture like this. I hope you are able to break away from it soon.

[@fark69]

I'm not sure if you're talking about American culture or not? This is literally the belief and action of many women towards men here, and they'll tell you that openly!

[@silverstarlight9395]

​@@fark69I'm talking about how women perceive men in Arab cultures. They can't even talk to them like normal human beings. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

There is no such culture. Women and men just don’t mingle because it is not moral.

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

@@silverstarlight9395You’re clearly ignorant and racist. It’s not about men being “trashy”. It’s just immoral.

[@nl.dauhoo]

You should be happy, Tazzy. It's not a bad thing or a bad manner or character. I think you're a very intellugent woman.

[@nl.dauhoo]

*intelligent

[@sciencedaemon]

Too bad you are wrong.

[@mariyam_bashir]

🤍

[@ryumitsurugi2088]

This is the honest conversations we all need to hear and talk about! Thank you 🙏 😎

[@ShellLiza]

Slightly on topic/also off topic I personally don’t agree with the Man vs Bear logic. To me is a hyperbolized generalization of women just saying “men are trash”. Which can be true. I’m not going to dismiss women’s personal experiences with sexual assault and fear and intimidation and the patriarchy because as a woman I’ve experienced it all too. However, if it were really true women are more scared of men than bears, start thinking about this: would you be terrified to be suddenly in front of a bear? Most common sense would dictate yes but there’s always outliers, so why then are women not shut up at home living in constant fear? Am I supposed to come to this conclusion that life is just so powerful that majority of women push past pounds of fear weighing on them to participate in society? That going for lunches, going to the mall, shopping, getting gas, is so fear inducing with hundreds of strange men all around? I don’t think it speaks solely to women’s fears and I’m sure there’s a portion of women who truly do feel like this, but majority women say this in a way that I just don’t believe to be true. As for the rest of the video yeah all of that makes sense, and I’m glad you went into the different reasons why a woman might free anxiety around men. I realize I have it too, I mean we all have a different face for different people and groups, but there is one just for men where I’m hyper aware of myself and my activity. Aware of my facial expressions, the things I say, how my body language is to make sure I’m just a blob of a person to not make them think I like them or anyone else to get the wrong idea.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

The idea that all women fear men is one of the big reasons I don't talk to any women I don't have to, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I saw a video by a woman that was saying that if women were that afraid of men why is casual sex still a thing? 🤔

[@razer0072073]

Women pick Bear, but if you ask them,'Are women equal to men?' They'll say yes immediately. It's not even a second thought.

[@fark69]

It's an obvious exaggeration not meant to be taken seriously. A bear can never do a positive thing for you. A man can be your soulmate, can save your life, can raise your kids, can support your every move. A man can also do all sorts of negative things. A bear can only do negative or neutral things for you.

[@ShellLiza]

@fark69 yeah I thought so too but do a social experiment and ask a handful of North American women and there will be some who will tell you 100% it is not an exaggeration. And yes I'm making a distinction between cultures because a majority of Asian and Middle Eastern women are culturally raised to bow at men's feet regardless of religion

[@sciencedaemon]

More anti-male nonsense. The percentage of men that do bad things to women is very low. Women exaggerate it completely because of their feelings.

[@shredit4983]

seesh

[@freshnas1]

I’m anthropophobic!

[@femalesupremacistoverlord6800]

Based, people are the worst.

[@sciencedaemon]

The term is misanthropic.

[@meisekohl8765]

🐻

[@tanushagupta5837]

I just realised I do this as well. This was a light bulb moment. I make my self small in front of men. Thanks ❤❤❤

[@alphacause]

Your anxiety around men is understandable given the culture in which you were raised, where there was a line of demarcation that was drawn between men and women, and certain taboos were rigidly upheld by parents and the community regarding how men and women interact. The anxiety we are starting to see women have towards men in Western culture, which is not governed by the strictures of conservative Islam, is something quite different. This unjustified paranoia is not something that grew organically as the culture evolved. Rather, this was assiduously cultivated by feminists and their acolytes in the media.

[@marah_33]

The fear of men has little to do with feminism tho...it has always existed and is quite understandable

[@alphacause]

@@marah_33 I am not doubting that fear of men has always existed. However, the level of fear is now blown way out of proportion, and this is the result of feminist influencers painting everything that is stereotypically male as "toxic". It stems from a deep seeded misandry, which was not part of the early incarnations of feminism, but now is endemic to current forms of feminism.

[@sancofasmoov5739]

Heard you out, sounds like a you problem. Hope you get over it some day.

[@sciencedaemon]

Yep, no one gives you anxiety. Anxiety is a mental disturbance in your own mind. Not surprised it has to be phrased to blame men.

[@nl.dauhoo]

No, I would take my chances with a man, of course. A bear? What a weird idea?

[@MayMay-fo2jb]

fearing men is rational, not irrational.

[@BeansPredi-ch6xk]

Depends on the level of fear.

[@sciencedaemon]

Wrong. Automatic fear is irrational. You must have that irrational fear to believe that. Rational fear is based on evidence in a situation. Can you stand out in public and not be attacked by men, ever? Yes you can. Your fear is irrational.