Therapist Reacts To: Tolerate It by Taylor Swift!

[@thalessilva2092]

When she sings "Believe me, I could do it", it feels like she is trying to convince hersel she can do it cause deep down she knows she won't leave.

[@mendwithmere]

So true, love that insight

[@THE11thTORTUREDPOET]

And especially because at the end she says “i sit and watch you” meaning in hasnt happened yet…

[@hardthrobbingburrito9371]

@@THE11thTORTUREDPOET IKR THAT LAST LINE IS SO SAD TO ME

[@nicvntine]

delete this lmao

[@deepanshujangra5989]

Just like when in some movie… they say… “I’ll shoot… i swear.. dont come any closer or i’ll shoot… but in fact they can’t “

[@fuwatato]

What's painful about this song is that the characters tolerate each other differently. One tolerates the efforts, and one tolerates their one-sided relationship.

[@VioletEmerald]

Oh God I never noticed that before, that the whole title of the song is really about how SHE is tolerating this awful treatment.

[@sritejathota3515]

midnight rain might be the other character in this song!!

[@zarchsount]

@@sritejathota3515 Im pretty sure its james and betty, if you take a look at the songs from evermore and folklore it seems like it is them.

[@giovannamartini5157]

​@@sritejathota3515OMG i never thinked about it 😢

[@Enchanted_Li]

exactly 😭💔

[@celeste2025]

To me, the fact that she ends the song with how it begins, makes me feels like the last chorus, where she threatens to leave, is all a daydream, a fantasy. She can imagine her leaving this situation an moving on, but the fact of the matter is, she's not strong enough at this point to actually do it, maybe never will be, and she’s stuck in this viscious cycle of what if, but will never act on it

[@turtle4llama]

When you have been made to feel like you don't deserve to exist, being tolerated seems like the biggest love possible.

[@shinalee29]

When Bejeweled came out, I immediately thought of the person in tolerate it. What if she's the person bejeweled and actually managed to leave him and learned how to shine on her own again

[@marikoduffy6424]

Same!!

[@janicewilliams9429]

I was over 60 and just divorced after 25 years when this album came out. This song hit so hard and I was amazed a girl of 29/30 could so clearly understand where I had been for years. Still tough to hear this and feel it again.

[@McManda73]

Me too

[@NYCnurseV]

same, was married and was turning 50 & planning a trip to Argentina 🇦🇷💙 but instead found out as I was working my a$$ off he had an *indiscretion*. & gaslit me into defending him against her husband’s attempt to retaliate & I then realized the big picture .. I ended almost 13 yrs of my life right there & my best friend instantly became my enemy & wound up spending my big birthday alone in a hotel at a nursing convention as he used my suitcases I bought for our trip & found a bikini as I returned “home” to the house that my hard work put us in- I proceeded to pack up my dog & my shit & left him … if only this song were out at the time I would have listened & saved myself before losing everything… sorry @mendwithmere & everyone else who over shared but this hit hard… 😢

[@monimoo88]

Not sure if anyone has talked about this yet but during quarantine Taylor took tons of inspiration from books and movies and tolerate it was inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. It’s about a woman who feels gaslit and manipulated by her new husband and his home staff and feels haunted by his late wife’s presence in the home.

[@mendwithmere]

I love this and def gonna read now

[@LanaJulie33]

Yes that's right! Aside from the storytelling inspired by books and movies, i think that she also has another meaning to a few songs of folklore: the grieving and anger she is still processing about losing her masters and being betrayed by Scooter and Scott (Scott was like family to her before he became petty and vengeful because she wanted to leave the label) .

[@nataliemarie8942]

Rebecca is one of my favourite books 😀 I love that that's what this song is based off of, thanks for sharing.

[@juansegundospagnuolo]

I also thought about Lady Di

[@MommaRN12756]

Yes….thats what she said at the time🤔, did we all believe that? I didnt think we all believe that’s alllllll it was….

[@kluski3423]

This song is so relatable. Breaking free was painful but I'm fine now

[@mendwithmere]

Good!!!!

[@bellalovesreading]

personally ive always interpreted this song as a relationship between a child and parent, i think it could be seen as not just a romantic relationship. like the lyric “i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.” when you’re a child you should be the most important thing in your parents eyes, but knowing they are just tolerating you and knowing they just put up with you is so heartbreaking and confusing to a child. and especially the bridge of the song, “where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire? i made you my temple my mural my sky now i’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.” it’s like, you are my entire world, all i’ve ever known, but no matter what i do for you, you won’t ever see me that way. “you assume i’m fine but what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins? take this dagger in me and removed it” feels like growing up and seeing how your parent truly is, and wanting them to be different, begging them to change. but they never will, so the cycle just repeats. but especially at the end of the song when it repeats “if it’s all in my head tell me now tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow” no matter how much older you get you will always long for that parent-child relationship you didn’t get, it’s almost like being in denial about the hand you got dealt and wishing they would just undo it all and say sorry for once.

[@stephaniepritchard1049]

I agree with you. I think this is a father and daughter relationship. I know as I was listening I was thinking of my childhood.

[@kelly.wil_]

same thought of my parent relationship when listening "gain the weight of you and lose you it" is so perfect bc its like you get older and you understand the hardship of parenthood so you want to be forgiving, but ultimately if they don't change you can leave and not try anymore in the relationship

[@elleredmond3400]

This is how I view it everytime. It was exactly my relationship to my parents. 💔

[@Apison1971]

I also think another layer of the song could be read as a parent-child relationship with maybe the child being queer. For a long time (and even now in lots of places) all we could ask for was toleration. Like, I know my love should be celebrated just like any other person's love but you just tolerate it.

[@Tadpoli]

That's how I relate to this song 1000%. Everything fits so perfectly with an abusive/narcissistic parent

[@yogenfruzz]

My POV for "If it's all on my head tell me now, tell me I got it wrong somehow" is when she's in denial for him, she was hanging onto him and hope that he would say she was wrong and there is still hope for them. If he would just show some signs that their relationship can still be saved. 😢😢 And the "throwing blanket over my barbed wire" is so sad because she used to use that metaphor in Invisible String which is a song about how they overcome their own hardships and found each other.

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

This song to me is her being like "I'll leave! I can do it! Watch me!" but then not being able to

[@mendwithmere]

Truth!❤

[@Nanalee600]

Taylor just loves to write the most hurtful things that always resonate with me

[@moonlyrics.11]

When i heard this song, i really though that when she sang "you're so much older and wiser and i wait by the door like i'm just a kid" she dosent mean literally older and wiser, ig she just does a paradoxe to show the podium witch we tend to put people we really like even when they make us fell like kids waiting for then to love us instead of tolerate us

[@wizardlg1]

This video is one year therapy in 20 minutes. Thank you!!!

[@NYCnurseV]

Yesssssss

[@gabrielaferreira3381]

I was raised by a narcissistic mother and this song pretty much describes my relationship with her. When she talks about indiscretions, I remember a lot of embarrassing comments my mom used to make, to put me down and embarrass in front of others; or when she talks about doing everything for the person and never being enough. Thinking that my love should be celabrated but it's tolarated. That's exactly how it is with a narcissistic parent. Currently, I can say that I've already moved on to the bridge phase, where the person manages to get rid of the abuse (nowadays I only talk to my mother about the essentials and I don't live with her anymore), so I'm MUCH better.

[@dearbhlahayes1627]

I’m so sorry ❤

[@wakeupsunnysideup]

💗

[@darraghcollins1374]

I honestly thought “begging for footnotes In the story of your life” was like begging to be let into their world and talked about

[@mamab4720]

This song made me feel exactly the same, that this is a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

[@ania-os7kz]

when she says "[i] use my best colors for your portrait", it always makes me think of how she's taking all the best she has to offer, her best "colors", and she's giving it all to him, having nothing left for herself. she's making his portrait with her best paint and colors, but what about her portrait? what colors is she to use for herself if all of her best ones she used on him?

[@mendwithmere]

Oooo yes!!!!❤

[@aaarcg]

I see it differently, I don’t think she is thinking about herself. I think that she is choosing to focus on his best traits, so she can keep herself in denial, because the truth is too painful to face.

[@kelseygreason9774]

When she says “I took your indiscretions all in good fun” I saw that as she took his wrong doings, his slights to her, “in good fun” like she’d laugh it off to his friends. This is such a powerful song and I really lived this relationship before. She has such a way of relating to everyone

[@SassyCass06]

For me when I hear this I think about my mom and the NPD abuse I endured growing up. As a kid I always believed my mom was best friend, she parentified me. I did everything for her, I would do anything for her, I truly believed she didn’t mean to hurt me, and would forgive all her “indiscretions” and believed everything was my own fault. My goals from a very young (like 5/6yrs) were groomed to do everything to make her happy, as it equaled “love” to me. When you have that aha moment about it and realize your relationship for what it truly is…this song is it. This song came out when in therapy with her deciding to go non-contact for my mental health, and Taylor describes this process so perfectly “what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins? Take this dagger in me and removed, gain the weight of you then lose it. Believe me I could do it. If it’s all in my head tell me now, tell me I’ve got it wrong some how. I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.” The whole song, the inner child begging for the unconditional love of a mother, but for someone with NPD love is always conditional, they will never see you a person and always an extension of themselves and someone who should always do the most for them, while they “tolerate it” and always expect it and will not reciprocate. If this sounds familiar to you, and you’re contemplating going no contact, go to therapy, start choosing you first ❤

[@lakin1257]

This is my favorite breakdown of this song and i could feel your emotion as well while watching and it brought tears to me eyes 😢❤

[@brucebrown3837]

I'm not a therapist, and I haven't played one on TV (an old joke) but my own takes on this... "Used my best colors for your portrait", makes me think, she used her best colors (best descriptors) to portray who he is to her friends and family.(is that the same thing you said?) "Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life", just killed me. Totally broke my heart. I love when she starts and ends a song with the same words, "I sit and watch you", but in this case, it's like I know what's going on, I don't like it, I could choose to change it, but I'LL tolerate it. I was almost as concerned for you, for your reaction to this as I was for your 'Forever Winter' reaction.

[@mendwithmere]

Such good points! That makes me feel better to think of it as if she now knows and “I sit and watch you” bc I choose to. ❤

[@777jamiejames]

yes, I was gonna say exactly that about best colors for your portrait being how you describe your person; I've done it. I told friends and family all the good stuff but never the bad stuff... thank God those relationships have been over for a long time. also. I've seen many reactions to this song, no one seems to get that in the end she stays. i knew you would get it because you're a therapist lol. it's an extremely sad song 😔.

[@Vi-lz8ev]

always felt that the i use my best colors for your portraits its almost like, i dress up in my best colors, i set myself up to look my best for you stuff, to be in your portrait, i want to be well seen by you, i want to be good presented to you, idk if i missed the mark here

[@beatricewilliams3620]

intersting. I always saw the final "I sit and watch you" as her confrontin him on all of this, and watching him, watching his body language to see how he tries to deny and see if he's being honest.

[@casie6609]

You don't have to be a therapist to analyze a song 💙

[@daniellthornton4218]

The weight is the weight of the abuse. The weight of the trauma. The weight of the pain.

[@cassiocalu]

"I gotta light a candle for this" girl, same.

[@christinestafiej2703]

I hope TS finds her Prince! Someone who Loves her harder than she Loves! She deserves to be Loved & respected! She sings & writes from her heart. Love TS! She is so smart & just wears ger heart on her sleeve! The real deal! I say Taylor Swift for The President of the United States! ❤🫶👏

[@HollyLuYa94]

This is the most powerful song Taylor has ever made in my opinion. It really it deep. And you can truly feel the words.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

Really enjoying your Taylor reactions! On the flip side of this, the song Happiness is one of the healthiest and most visceral depictions of a breakup I've heard. I'd love to see you react to that.

[@mendwithmere]

I’ll definitely reaction to happiness. I heard it was connected to the great gatsby? Not sure but thank you for watching!

[@evergreenforestwitch]

@@mendwithmere tbh I have not read The Great Gatsby but YT creator English Teacher KP does literary analysis of some of Taylor's lyrics and she definitely found Gatsby references. I think you'll be impressed with the emotional maturity in this one, or at least I am LOL

[@kimberlypagnozzi24]

I have a sweatshirt with the bridge on it. This song is my absolute favorite off of Evermore. Tears every time 😢

[@maxicarewithmj]

THIS SONG REALLY HURTS ME A LOT LOOOOL. You just can feel her emotions. For the part of I sit and watch you, it's usually when you're already getting out of that lavender haze and finally, reality is starting to sink in and you start to notice the flaws of the relationship but you don't want the relationship to end but you also dont want to impose what you want or what you need so you just "sit and watch" hoping he notices and reads the signs. "I notice everything you do or dont do" - having some kind of expectation from your partner as well and it just doesn't match anymore.. but then he is so much older and wiser so she asked him for assurance that it's all just in her head. @Mend with Mere listen and react to "YOU'RE LOSING ME" She was giving her a chance to salvage the relationship. But once your love feels like it's just being "tolerated" I think it's really hard to come back from that.

[@idgaf2355]

3:50 the way you describe this lyric, shining for somebody else makes me recall a lyric from another taylor swift song- (all too well 10 min version) the idea you had of me who was she? a never needy ever, lovely jewel who’s shine reflects on you for more context, all too well was written about her relationship with jake gynelhall who was in fact much older than her at the time she was dating him and there’s one more age reference in that song which is- and i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, “i’ll get older but your lovers stay my age” which implies that jake has always had a preference for dating younger girls and his current girlfriend is also the same age taylor was when she was dating with him. this creates a lyric parallel since in tolerate it, the narrator justifies all the discontentment of the relationship by saying that their partner is older and wiser, showing that the narrator is vulnerable and can’t seem to leave. i loved your take on this, you should definitely react to mirrorball and this is me trying !

[@mendwithmere]

Omg, I JUST reacted to this last night and called out the same correlations! So many parallels!

[@GraceNicole87]

Back binging your videos now. This song feels as the show Mad Men to me. Business men, young girls and lots of indiscretions

[@sz2911]

Girl you let a lit candle roll off somewhere!!! you weren't even bothered IM WHEEZINGGGG

[@mendwithmere]

Hahahhaha! It’s insane. I give zero f’s anymore clearly. My mom was over and said she found it covered in lint and dog hair😂 I have no idea how it wasn’t worse. Glad you made you laugh ❤

[@carlygirl306]

This song reminds me of my dad. He's never around for anything I do in my life and for my emotional needs. My mom does a decent job at giving my emotional needs but I still crave for it. I relate to this song a lot

[@wakeupsunnysideup]

❤

[@eliebarbar403]

the song is inspired by the book rebecca by daphne du maurier, in which the main character remains unnamed throughout the story and is constantly trying to make her husband happy but fails at it because rebecca, his ex deceased wife, still leaves a cast on and haunts the relationship

[@m4ckenziedc]

Between you and my dog I think I get through what’s going on in my life. Financially can’t afford a therapist but this is a huge help for people like me

[@mendwithmere]

Hi All! If you have any friends you think would like my channel, please ask them to like and subscribe!

[@ismalaz9448]

That "gain the weight of you then lose it" line made me think of Miss Americana, where she said that the had struggled with an eating disorder. Maybe this means she got healthier because he kept her from going there (emotional dependence) but once they split she relapses (and loses that weight she gained). Even if the song is not autobiographical, maybe she drew inspiration from that kind of patterns to build the narrator in the song. Btw, this song has beautiful literary references to Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier, a book that you would probably love 🤓😚

[@mendwithmere]

Ooo I’ll definitely check the book out and that could absolutely fit for this line in the song ❤

[@ismalaz9448]

@@mendwithmere Nice!! There are two movies made about it too hahha (in case you're too busy!)

[@missowl4981]

I honestly believe this is about Joe because of the line "where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire" because in invisible string she said this "Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire" and after listening to you're loosing me, it all makes sense. When she said "took this dagger in me and remove it, gain the weight of you then lose it, believe me I could do it" like she’s saying to joe she’s already breaking. Then in your loosing me she said "I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes" "Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes. How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick" like joe always saying to her that there fine. Everything is fine. And in the end of the she said " I sit and watched you" like she’s saying joe ignoring her signs and warning. And lastly in Bejeweled she said that "Don't put me in the basement When I want the penthouse of your heart" here she's saying she finally removed the dagger and learned that she can still shine on her own again.

[@VioletEmerald]

I really don't think Joe was as bad as the man in this song because Joe Alwin didn't have "indiscretions" like this, he didn't just tolerate her love, he wrote songs with her; she wrote a song like Sweet Nothing and Long Story Short and Lover about him. But I think parts of the inspiration come from the same place. I think she felt small pieces of this emotional neglect at times with Joe or him just not committing enough. It was hard for her to be brave enough to leave him but her ultimate goodbye song to him, "You're Losing Me", is very telling in what it doesn't include. The climax is him not wanting to marry her not him acting like he's so much older and wiser than her. She's not just sitting at home cleaning plates in her relationship with him. This here is a fictional song.

[@flamingos.cosplay7509]

this song is so deeply beautiful. as someone who has been in relationships where i felt like i was just something they had to deal with i've used this song to help me explain parts of it to my current partner and it's been so helpful and healing. the first time i played this song for them and explained how i relate to it they sat and held me and made sure i was okay so im thankful for this song as a way to cope with my past and as a way to strength my future.

[@viniciusrodriguesdacostaal2037]

For sure this song represents emotional dependence and just a person that had this kind of relationship knows how hard it is to get deserve love you want from the other person, especially when this person is a narcisist. Every part of the song is she trying to get his atention and how hard it is being not seen enough. A person who has emotional dependence sees the problems of the relationship like a normal thing and just ignore all of them. Same time she/he puts the other person in first place where he/she doesnt belong.

[@mendwithmere]

Yes yes yes!!!❤

[@Honeyalmond]

I used to think that this song is about someone's relationship with their father and all so at the same time the expectations for a partner. As an adopted child who has lost her birth parents by abandonment and adoptive parents due to their abusive problems, this really hit me. And realizing that as an adult I was seeking for those abusive relationships because those I could cope with because it was familiar to me. Always felt like I took too much space and time. No matter how beautiful portrait I drew of them to others it didn't matter. I gained the weight of them and lost it. I feel unwanted and just tolerated in so many ways. 💔

[@DeniseCRyan]

I think the watching lyrics are about her idolizing him, not because she's anxious or on edge. This song is about her loving him deeply and he doesn't feel the same way.

[@kaylawhatley820]

I always think of this from a father/daughter relationship and I sob every time. I know she’s probably talking about a romantic relationship but so many similar themes in absent fathers.

[@malvinagendra8613]

THIS

[@mendwithmere]

Yes, absolutely. Other people have said this as well and I feel that too. I’m considering doing another video analyzing it from that perspective. Thank you for sharing!

[@mendwithmere]

Now that I’m looking at the lyrics from this perspective, it’s hitting me like a train.

[@simpleambitious]

@@mendwithmere Please do! I would love to see that!

[@char3688]

@@mendwithmere Please do! Id love to watch that

[@liviaahmad]

U are fantastic, Mere!

[@beatrizgomes2768]

Being a queer girl with a homophobic father, this song also hits hard

[@ryancadena1188]

This is the strongest interpretation in my opinion especially because of her phrasing around the LGBT community in her Elvis Duran interview. "I don't just tolerate the way that you are, I celebrate the way that you are."

[@adeyemoifemade7832]

You're so real

[@HalluCinogen91]

@@ryancadena1188i strongly agree. After hearing that interview, i was convinced 💯 percent

[@HalluCinogen91]

For me there’s no other interpretation. This is just it

[@littletinygurl2072]

this songs reminds me of my mother

[@zachw9182]

Hi! I love your videos and just subscribed☺ For me this song has a very different meaning. As a gay person, I relate to this song from the perspective of myself dealing with people, especially family, who tolerate me and don't cut me off but never really celebrate or fully accept my real self. I would do anything for these people and yet they just tolerate me and that is such a terrible feeling. I remember Taylor once said about the lgbt community "I don't just tolerate you, I celebrate you." This may not necessarily be what Taylor wrote the song about, but I personally find a lot of comfort in seeing this song this way.

[@mendwithmere]

Oh shit, that makes totally sense! Your love should be celebrated, not tolerated. I have also heard this about my tears ricochet for the lgbt community. Thank you for sharing!!❤

[@Alayne89]

To me the line, "Gain the weight of you and lose it" is about physical intimacy, and the emotional closeness. The actual, physical weight of them during sex, and the emotional connection that creates. And then the "lose it" line is about the ability to walk away from them, and to end the relationship. It's basically saying, "You think I won't break up with you? That you're the best or only thing out there? That I can't imagine a life without you? Watch me walk away"

[@missspecter8178]

I'm a simple person, I see Taylor I click ahah I loved your reaction, can't wait to see more ❤

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you!

[@thomast.9801]

I’m sorry, but the candle rolling and falling SENT me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@marikoduffy6424]

The “use the best colors for your portrait” reminds me of being a kid and saving my favorite colors for my favorite part of what i was coloring..:usually was a butterly.

[@MandiM94]

I just want to say, as an aside, that the candle falling made me laugh so loudly... which was a needed bit of levity as tears were filling my eyes. ☺💜 I just love how it barely fazed you, and I jumped with concern 😂

[@rsactuary8763]

Just seeing this for the first time a year after posting. You hinted at it, but I am struck by the abrupt and stark ending to the song, which are the same lyrics as what she started the song with. I feel like it brings a circular aspect to the song, and that she's in a cycle that she can't get out of and doesn't know how. It would be good to watch the official version of the song that shows clips from a Netflix show that I think she wrote this song for. It starts with complete love for each other and then clearly the man starts to lose interest. Thank you for this video!

[@taniahylian3799]

I loved your analysis! It's actually similar to what I thought the first few times I listened to this song. However, since I once saw someone pointing out that Taylor has used the phrase "I celebrate you, not tolerate you" referring the lgbt community, and how this song could be about a queer person talking about their homophobic parent, I haven't been able to see it any other way, and it's so heartbreaking.

[@lesliekristyn7597]

THE CANDLE ROLLED OFF AND IT COULD BE BURNING YOUR HOUSE DOWN AND YOU DONT EVEN CARE!!! 😂😂

[@wakeupsunnysideup]

I would expect nothing less from every therapist friends I have lol

[@susansnyder9271]

Mere. I so enjoy your reactions and analysis of Taylor's music. I recently spent some time contemplating why her music affects me so deeply. It seems some of the reasons have to do with not having fully expressed and allowed myself to experience the emotions from my past. I am 77 years old and became a Taylor fan in early 2020. Her amazing gift of painting pictures so vividly and with universal themes has provoked long lost parts of myself and deeper understandings. Her artistry is unparalleled and for me explains her appeal and devotion from so many. She gives experiences of being heard and understood doesn't she. An avatar for the human spirit? As for crying on the internet, I once heard a Buddhist teacher say (I paraphrase) there is so much suffering that we should be seeing a lot more crying in the world. Just subscribed. Thank you💗

[@icesparklefrost7511]

Hii! This is the first video I've seen from you! absolutely LOVE this!! I am a big swiftie and am also wanting to go into the mental health field (specifically psychiatry)!

[@victoriaoscar222]

I was listening to the video at night, with headphones and the voice effects scared me a lot hahaha

[@mendwithmere]

Hahah so sorry! My nephew edits them and likes to go crazy with the sound effects

[@jeannes10]

for me when she says "believe me i could do it" its like shes trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

[@witchypoo7353]

Even though I’m 5 years older than my ex this song describes a lot of how he made me feel & I’ve been trying to understand it

[@vitnersantos]

Right Where You Left Me is a rich song to analyze, very sad too

[@mendwithmere]

❤❤❤

[@lynnetrathen4587]

I love the care you have for Taylor 💖💖 you’re right about how strong she is she came back with a bang

[@mylifeiswtf]

OMG WATCH HER AT THE ERAS TOUR WITH THAT SONG. SHE DOES THE PERFORMANCE!!!

[@minervavillarruel366]

Brilliant! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this painful but also beautiful song💞

[@eliarad7106]

My mom is 7 years older than my dad, and this song is exactly about how she looked and felt. At the same time, my sister is 10 years younger than her partner, and they are absolute partners, like comrades, if you could put it that way? And it’s a rare thing for sure, they treat each other like equals because they are better than their partners in different spheres, and they look up to each other and learn a lot. And my mom and I are still surprised that it can work like that in such context you wouldn’t expect.

[@womanwithaname]

I love listening to you. I'm a psychotherapy student from Austria and a Taylor Swift fan and I always dissect her lyrics myself. So nice to hear your impressions :) greetings from Vienna

[@fereadss]

Hi! I loved your analysis of this song, it's from those Taylor songs you just don't want to relate to, but I do, I see it in a different scenario than an abusive relationship. I see it also as an abusive parent-child relationship, like when Taylor says "use my best color for your portrait" and "I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it". When LGBT people come out, sometimes parents aren't very supportive, our love SHOULD be celebrated, but other people just 'tolerate it' because they don't fully accept it. We look for the approval of the most important people in our lives (in some cases, our parents) and it hurts to see that we 'disappoint' them. Of course, it depends on each person's understanding of the song, but it's another way of interpreting this song. PS: I've been binge-watching all your videos, LOL. You're awesome

[@saumonlps1085]

i agree

[@MommaOsoIrish67]

I just saw that you've reacted to The 1. I'll watch that next. Another one of my favorites is Mad WOMAN. And the ultimate take your power back song.. Vigilante Shit.

[@Katyloveheart]

Thank you so much I love this reaction...you got a new fan in me 😘😘

[@s19aa294d]

cried right at the start ♡ love your content ♡ ♡ ♡

[@mendwithmere]

Awww❤ thank you! If you cried at the start, you know this pain. We will get through it together.

[@johnreysicuan9345]

most heartbreaking song of Taylor. I could say 🥺🤎

[@mendwithmere]

Sooo sad

[@Whimsicaltalesx]

I agree. 😢

[@luanadesouzaleandro6100]

Girl just here to tell YOU i am from brazil and i LOVE your reactions OMG🫶🏻 you deserve the world

[@mendwithmere]

Luana!! I’m crying. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that. Sending you so much ❤

[@sharm_magne]

Unfortunately I can relate to this song very accurately 😭

[@belen6361]

please please react to the performance of this song on the eras tour 😭😭😭😭 it’s so amazing and it gives so much emotion

[@jenniferdoyle2076]

Damn! What a spot on analysis! Well done!

[@Nivieee]

I'm binge watching your videos and I'm loving your analysis. It makes me realize how little I actually pick up on. I already loved and related to Taylor's song, but your analysis just bring so much more depth to the lyrics I already loved. Thanks for this amazing content ❤

[@lynnedorner6098]

A few months ago I reached out to my partners x wife - she sent me a link to this video. It kills me that we both had these exact same emotions Praying for anyone who comes into this type of relationship and that they get out

[@NYCnurseV]

whoa… that’s such female empowerment and support !

[@NYCnurseV]

Wish this was out 10 years ago 😢

[@tomas9830]

you gave a whole other meaning to this song for me!

[@mendwithmere]

Really?! What did you take from it before?

[@peternystrom921]

Amazing video and a great take on this powerfull song. I like how you analys the lyrics the same way i do, thats why most of her songs realy hit me so deep even if they are from folklore or Red or what ever of hers.

[@mendwithmere]

Yes!!❤

[@eduardojefferson8736]

so glad i found your channel. keep up with the great content

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you!!❤

[@kirsteeleann]

Thank you for breaking that down! Love this song even more now. 💔

[@4u2mv]

Loved your reaction !!

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you! ❤

[@aeri_taylors-version]

Personally i think the song's protagonist is still stuck with that relationship. The ending line "I sit and watch you" is the same as the beginning of the song, which gives me a picture of the protagonist just musings in her head (HA!) while they're watching their partner. In the end, they tolerate their partner tolerating them.

[@liammcfarlane13]

I'd love to see you react to Illicit Affairs and Champagne Problems

[@mendwithmere]

Done!

[@robbersho0d]

Great video!!! I love your content. ❤ Also I wanna say that you would be really cool if you made a video analyzing "tolerat it" thought queer lens in a daughter/father relationship, to me it makes so much sense this perspective. I say this because Taylor has a radio interview where she's talking about queer people and she says exacly this: "I don't just tolerate the way you are, I celebrate the way you are". Many lyrics in this song point to that relationship dynamic "You're so much older and wiser", "Wait by the door like I'm just a kid". It's really childlike and demonstrates power and manipulative behavior from the man and this is really common in son/daughter and parents relationship, especially if you're queer. In the song the speaker says they make so much effort to be seen and loved but the other person for some reason don't appreciate them, which in this case I think it's probably lgbtq+fobia. Also the first time I heard the line "Use my best colors for your portrait" I immediately thought about a kid drawing their parents, 'cause when you're a kid you often see your parents as your heroes, and to me she's saying that, that she continues to portrait her father in a good way, even if it isn't true. As well as the line "Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?", to me that implies that the person that once protected her is now the person who is causing harm, wich is interesting because when you queer you suffer so much in the world outside you home, but frequently you are hurt at home by the people that should love and protect you. That's what I think, maybe it got a little too personal for me because I struggle with this issues at home and that's why this song it's so importante to me as a trans man, but I think it's really interesting to analyze from this perspective. Sending love ❤

[@brsixtn]

Your videos are becoming into a safe place for me

[@elleredmond3400]

I always think about the best colors thing as using her time and resources all for him. Portraits were often used as big gifts for loved ones in the past, and in a time when some paint colors were more difficult to create or obtain or could cost way more, "[using] my best colors for your portrait" I feel like is a reference to the idea that sometimes we lavish someone we love with money and time and gifts so they will like us more

[@doinotna]

I love this reaction and this analysis

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you so much ❤

[@raymarksobebe5058]

YOU ARE SO SMART!!!

[@RustyPaige]

“Gain the weight of you then lose it” given what’s she’s shared about her eating disorder and what you mentioned about narcissistic abusers being very image-focused, this line makes me think that the abuser maybe would make fatphobic comments to the narrator and kept her “under control” by literally policing her body. And so she’s saying “I could take back control of my own body” Also, there was a tweet years ago that said something along the lines of “my partner told me I could lose some weight, so I lost 150lbs and now I’m single” meaning they broke up with the partner. It could be a double meaning.

[@breico8535]

I always took it as, she could win him, she could gain his love and then leave him. And the next line, believe me I could do it, is kind of a challenge - watch me leave you. (Haha nvm, she basically just said that in her analysis.)

[@MichElemental]

I think she’s metaphorically, referencing gaining the weight (in the form) of the person she’s with, and then losing him.

[@emmashelton2477]

I love your content so much, I've seen all of your taylor Swift reactions and I'm working through the other content you make. I think you should react to the song, Right Where You Left Me. Its a song about loss of a relationship and longing for the relationship to come back. Its a great song.

[@mendwithmere]

It’s definitely on the list! Thank you so much for your comment, it means so much. I’ll keep making more :)

[@psyche.9262]

your hair is so beautiful

[@linamina3600]

I know that during Folklore and Evermore shes been inspired by books, movies and series, and I remember seeing a theory that this song specifically was inspired by the crown, as there are quiet a few parallels (other songs on folklore also really have that vibe though)

[@FiveFootZero]

Taylor has said this song was inspired by the book Rebecca. Its actually a good read! The newest movie adaption of it…not so much lol

[@GoldenPerception]

Fun fact! This song was inspired when Taylor was reading the book “Rebecca” by Daphne du Maurier, saw how the male lead was just tolerating his wife (the main character), and it reminded Taylor of a past situation in her own life.

[@ryanthorn2904]

Mirrorball!!

[@mendwithmere]

Will do!

[@jacquesfrank]

It's such a smart and clever and intelligent song - it needs no explaining, it's explains itself. The song for itself is a therapy. It's ironic.

[@Asha13946]

I really love your videos. Hoping for more.✨🦋

[@mendwithmere]

Thank you ❤ yes, I’ll keep them coming :)

[@JenniferAnneGastelum]

This song wow... so so sad. I really absolutely learned so much from ur insight. thank you ❤

[@frhs2010grad]

I agree with your analysis of the song😊

[@candersson65]

Never heard this before the Eras movie and I cried when a saw it. Perfectly described my ex-marriage. Now a fan.

[@NYCnurseV]

Same…..