MENTAL GRIEF!! (OLDER VIDEO FROM APRIL)

[@kygal]

Spooky could tell that Spanky needed a little extra love. He’s trying his little best to help him feel better. Chihuahuas are fiercely loyal little turds, lol. I’ve had many. 😊

[@sneakyside]

Thank you for having an honest chat with us about grief and MH. Watching is a very visceral experience. We appreciate you checking in with us.

[@MsJPinMadison]

Not being able to share because of the fear of misunderstanding and documentation and repercussions from the raw honesty is horrific and understood. That in itself can take so much from our health. If wanted, hugs for you both. And, yes crying with you.

[@MissLizzy882]

You cannot know the impact of how important it is to see Spanky talking about mens mental health and child loss. Youre so right, that peoples attention is on the mum, but people forget that fathers are so deeply affected by that sort of loss so much. Thank you Spanky for your vulnerability in appearing in this video. Love to you both. 🖤🖤🏴‍☠️ Edit: The system is a mess. I got totally dumped by the system when I applied for an ADHD diagnosis. I just feel like I can't be bothered to keep fighting for it. I've had huge issues recently with prescriptions too. It's a total state. Its nowhere near what youre going through, but the system is a state!

[@jennifertehanisarreal]

I second that. I completely agree and hearing these words is powerfully healing. Thank you for expressing this 🙏🏼🫶🏼

[@anoniaciesluk3273]

Please learn to ignore the trolls they’re vampires that feed off the grief and pain of others! I know how hard it is I lost 4 immediate family members with in two years. My husband, mum younger sister and the my dad. It’s been a while now less than 2 years. Coping is hard.☹️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏

[@karinirene-sv2hx]

I truly admire Your strengh !!!! MUCH love from me ❤❤❤🏴‍☠🏴‍☠🏴‍☠🏴‍☠!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@lauraaston7708]

I’m by no means ignoring the very important subject of this video, but knowing how much you love your dogs, I just wanted to let you know that I think what Spooky was doing (the snorting), is called a reverse sneeze. To help him with that, you just hold his mouth closed gently, and place a finger tip over one of his nostrils. I’ve had to do it a few times with my dogs and it works. Also, I’ve been watching yours and Kori’s channels since the start. You are such a beautiful family. So sweet and endearing. Funny and real. There are no words that suffice in describing the pain you’re suffering right now. It is unbearable. A weight that no one should ever have to carry. And some days, you’re just able to manage it, and other days it has you pinned to the ground, and you can’t breathe, let alone move. So for anyone who is disgusting enough to give you shit for anything right now, FUCK them! They clearly have no understanding of what it is to have shred of decency or empathy or respect in them. They’re not worth any fraction of your mental space. You have both been incredibly brave to be as vulnerable as you have been. I have so much admiration and respect for you. I hope that the support you ALL need comes your way as soon as possible. Unfortunately I don’t think the pain and loss you feel will ever truly leave you. How can it? A piece of you is gone. But, in time it becomes a little easier to bare, and eventually you’ll smile and laugh more than you’ll cry when you think of Kori. I will continue to watch and support you in the small way I can from afar, and I really do wish nothing but the best for your family going forward xx

[@Cyoire]

I agree about everything you say about mental health. It's just simply not enough. The world is a messy place. I think it's good to remind everyone that men suffer losses as well. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing it with us. You feel very real, never feel like you have to be someone else with me. I sometimes have a hard time to listen to someone else's deeper problems but that's only because I sometimes suffer as well. So please don't stare at the numbers and think you have lost your audience completely, because I think there are also people out there that is like me, when I feel better I just watch some of your videos after when I feel better myself. ❤

[@crazylife834]

Hi. Lisa from USA. I just watched your most recent upload from 9 hours ago. MY HEART DROPPED! I'M SO SORRY you have commenters who think you're a fraud or whatever. As you know, almost every KZbinr gets VILE AND HATEFUL comments. Once you start reading the hate, stop reading. You do NOT need to read such horribleness, and you certainly do not deserve it! You are very good at reading comments ... just don't read the hater comments. You get too many great comments from those of us who truly care. Btw, I didn't realize this video was from April until I came on here to comment. Regardless, it broke my heart to see and hear what you were and probably still are experiencing. Sending hugs. I LOVE your channel and the ramdon videos you upload ... ALL OF THEM. ❤❤❤

[@lynnecurran1787]

I've had people tell me that I'm the strongest person they know. I keep telling them I'm not as strong as they think. I just do what I have to, to keep going. I even fail at that sometimes. Like you said, we need a bigger boat. And it's fine if you need to be more open. We love you and care for you all. Hug each other for me. ❤❤❤

[@TheresaMarkhamThomas]

I have been called an angel for taking in kids that are kicked out by their parents and all i see is someone who cares about others i feel bad for those whom can't save a child because it might cost me a little to care and i see a human whom cares for those whom can't care for themselves

[@justmemcg1130]

Your family is so strong, I hope you know that the negative people are louder but fewer than the people that love you guys.

[@spooky_hausintrees]

The only way I know to support you is watching ads and commenting and liking your uploads. I thank everyone who supports both wonderful channels and your family. 💫

[@Elong.]

I haven’t seen any ads but I think they should have some.

[@Kinypshun]

Sorry this is so long but my heart is breaking for you. Services are just as bad here in the U.S. My humble advice: Life forces us to physically move on, but that's it. The grief doesn't go away - It just changes. Counseling helps us to cope and manage the grief, but no counselor will tell you that you're "going to get over it" because you won't. You'll just learn to cope. I learned to give myself permission to grieve...for as long as it takes. I can't tell you how many strangers the universe put in my path telling me that their family and friends are telling them to "move on" and that their loved one would want us to "move on," and "they're not suffering anymore, "go to a football game". Whoever told you the "six months" thing is dead wrong. It's the same type of people who are criticizing the funeral arrangements. When a stranger shares their horrific pain and their guilt over "not being able to move on," I give them permssion to grieve. If you're frozen in grief and can't put one foot in front of the other, feel it, let it happen, your grief honors your precious boy. Edit: Your video helped me today. It was not negative. More people misreading, misunderstanding the grief process.

[@serenjns]

I work as a qualified mental health in the UK, and have done for nearly 20 years. It saddens me to say that the system is fucked. It’s become a business. It’s not about the patients any more, It’s about robbing Peter to pay Paul. Paperwork being more important than patient care. Staff getting so burned out that they are crumbling under the pressure. We’re all just numbers on a spreadsheet. Staff and patients alike. It’s sickening.

[@thatgirl81111]

Yes. Thank you for commenting and being honest about the situation. The more people are honest and speaking out the better

[@serenjns]

@@thatgirl81111 it’s as frustrating as hell. We’re constantly understaffed and overworked. The reliance on agency staff is ridiculous. I’m sure there are some good agency workers out there, but most of the ones I’ve met are more focused on earning top dollar than they are anything else. I used to love nursing, but these days the struggle is far too real. I didn’t get into nursing to spend 90% of my shift doing paperwork, but that’s what it seems to be these days.

[@laurariley308]

Happening in the USA also. So sorry for this family. This is where I hate to preach but hopefully some Church in the community could help?

[@Magick_8_ball]

Hi Pixi & Spanky! So many things to say in response to this video 😣 firstly I’m so sorry to hear there’s people out there horrible enough to send you dreadful messages about Kori’s funeral. That’s beyond vile and I’m sorry that’s being sent your way 😔 Also I’m always happy to watch your content, the happy, the sad, and the ragey 😆 you’re all such beautiful and wonderful souls and always sending love your way! I’m currently helping a friend with DVLA. He’s a truck driver. Over two years ago he had a one of incident on a hot summers day where he fainted (probably due to heat stroke and also not while driving, but in the truckyard). He did his due diligence and got checked out medically as it was not typical for him and was the first time this had ever happened. His drs and hospital consultants could find nothing wrong. Meanwhile he had alerted DVLA, they revoked his license immediately. With much legwork and faffing he got the drs letters to the DVLA. He got asked for more evidence, and again and again. Meanwhile without his income he became homeless, sleeping rough and now in ‘charity’ housing (that’s a whole other story! ) but the DVLA were still messing him around!! For 2 pissing years!! Anyway last month they finally “reached a decision”…, 10 YEARS WITHOUT HIS HGV LICENSE!!! I’m now trying to help him fund and support his appeal process. It’s diabolical! Oh just to add he had his car license back within 6 months.., but he can’t do his job for 10 years 😤 Anyway I’ve ranted enough, just wanted to say I hear you, and feel you and it is, as spanky said one giant serving of bullshit! But all you can do is keep going. You’re both amazing ❤

[@Mawmoo878]

I've watched you all from the start. Absolutely love your family. I cannot even imagine what it would be to be in your situation. Your tears, Spanky, speak loudly of your strength. You both carry a heavy heavy load. Your entire family, really. Pain is personal. Healing comes to each of us in its own way. Prayers and love to you all. ❤

[@ScottishWoman24]

I'm so sorry that you're getting yet another blow. Everybody has a breaking point. All I can do is just offer hugs to all of you. I know that it isn't much, but I hope that it helps, even just a little bit.

[@persiascott2490]

I’ve never lost a child but my mom died in my arms in 2012. I always say there’s no limit to grief. How long it is how it affects you, etc. Honestly I had a nervous breakdown and almost did the unthinkable myself cuz the pain was so great. My son’s father was there to talk sense into me. It took forever to get counseling. People were saying when you getting over it. NEVER. I still go to counseling and started journaling. There are days I still don’t want to get out of bed. I lost a piece of my soul. I couldn’t imagine losing my child. Please hold on. Luckily you don’t have to grieve alone. Grief has so many stages. God Bless you both 🙏🏼

[@stgeorgescross]

stay strong crewmates ,take each day as it comes.😢

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

The systems are working against us and dividing us so that we dont unite so f the lot of them and lets come together as one big family to support each other in any way we can. Semding big hugs to you all xx

[@Alisha.Hassinger.81]

I love you both and I cannot imagine 😢 I know a lot of this crew has been struggling, but I can't begin to fathom the pain you two are experiencing. I'm here if you need ❤

[@abrazalves]

We stand for you and by you always Lady Pixi. You are one out a million. Carry on your good work

[@stephaniemowrey5257]

Mental Health system is broken across all countries it is so truly heartbreaking. I wish they would make it more priority as it is so vital. Thank you for being so open with all of us ... I wish you were receiving the support you all need. Sending you much love, prayers and strength. 🫂💜🕊

[@irenethomson2033]

I thin there's still a huge stigma attached to mental health, so it's so often passed over. After all you can see a broken bone, so can treat it so much more easily than a broken mind! MH should definitely be made more prominent, since most, if not all of us will experience MH issues at some point in our lives.

[@staceycleereman4246]

My thoughts and prayers are with you

[@annhowells1117]

People who think you’re coping and doing well haven’t experienced child loss 😢 my baby would be 30 next month and after nearly 30 years I still can’t cope with his loss 😢 the pain is unbearable 😢😢😢xxxx

[@bambijimper]

Oh Pixi and John we are so sorry that you are having to go through more crap. We can totally understand your feeling as though you'd like to take a flying leap at a rolling donut. Our love to you all. It is so wrong in our eyes too. Love Jamie & Karl

[@kasahadragon9499]

I've no idea why the universe is heaping on you but you will make it. As for the trolls etc just F 'em ! Deal with yourselves for yourselves and for no-one else. You eill get there 💜💜💜💜

[@simplyme5381]

Breathe ….. then breathe again…. Focus on one obstacle at a time. That is the only way I get through each day. My ❤️ is with you. I am currently fighting for custody of my grandbabies (long story) and truly understand the overwhelming obstacles. You both need to breathe.. cry … then don’t let it defeat you. Please stay strong and take one obstacle at a time. Sending you all the energies I can spare to help build you up. Love and respect ❤️

[@roxannetracy2931]

I wish you peace. I am so sorry about all the arseholes that are out there. Social media has its pluses, but it has a hell of a lot of negatives. Please don't think I am being trite here, but it will take time to go through grief. A lot of people want to just hop on over it. It's not possible, and doing that just delay's it. I know you will come out the other side, you're strong. You have been forced to be strong for a long time. BUT, with that being said, hang on please, because times of feeling weak are important times as well. Let the feelings out, let the tears out, let the screams out. It is ok. It is ok. When you hit the wall, know that there is an arsenal of people out here that have your back. It is overwhelming, I know. I lost my mum to suicide. No warning. None. I NEED YOU BOTH TO STAY ON THE PLANET. So does your daughters. Sorry for horrific spelling and punctuation. I just NEED you to know that WE ARE HERE.

[@irenethomson2033]

you're so right. I lost my mother, whom I counted as not just my mother, but my best friend and confidante, just over 22 years ago (April 2002). I still miss her very much. Since my husband died (5 days after Captain Kori), I've never felt so vulnerable, or so raw. I feel as though I've lost half of me. The pain I feel is indescribable.

[@jessicatolrud7489]

All the love in my heart to both of you...there is no word or actual way to describe grief, especially in the role of a non biological parent who is not given the space to actually be allowed to feel or deserve that grief. You are loved, seen, and sent all the prayers possible. Words can't heal you, but have faith, you are all so much stronger than you will ever believe you are

[@Ann-on-a-mouse]

Sending ALL the love x

[@terri200]

I am so extremely sorry for everything that you have gone through! It's hard to ignore the idiots out there. Grief is an individual process. We are all here with you. Tons of love and huge, huge hugs!! My heart and prayers are with you!!🙏💖🪶💞✨️💜🫶🤗🤗🤗

[@annanimity5466]

Now that my eyes have had their exercises (eye rolls) I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I don't know if you can do this, but somehow put the word out to those who have lost a child to meet up. If they (government or royalties, whoever) are not going to help. Then help each other with groups. Don't include hospitals, government, etc It sounds like they don't help the (little people) with their grief. SHAME ON THEM. Please know that the people (subscribers) are on your side. Start your own group. I believe once you hear someone else's story, it may help you open up enough to feel a little more comfortable. 😕😢

[@missymojoful]

My thoughts are with you both,heartfelt love coming your way.❤❤❤xxx

[@thecrapgoth]

Thankyou so much x

[@pamelacox7715]

Sending you all love and strength 🫶🏻💖 Spanky you’re not forgotten NO grief counseling?!?!?? WTH? 😮😢. I’m sooo sorry you’re dealing with the nonsense on top of the grief. Wish I could help.

[@adventuresinward]

Thank you for sharing this. I am sending you so much positive energy and healing hugs.

[@justmemcg1130]

"be excellent to each other"- Bill and Ted ☮🤟

[@tinaevans6311]

I know how you feel Pixie 😢 today is the 14th week since I lost my mother. 😭 And very few people in my family, 1 person my aunt is the only person who has texted me to see if I am ok, the rest of the people are a couple of my mom's friends and a few of mine have reached out to me. One being one of my mom's nurses who cared for her. It is a mental, emotional, physical struggle bcuz I/many of us take care our parents for decades & poof their on God's journey. The love of my life of 31-plus years has been up there of a sudden heart attack for 3 yrs. Being a single girl and alone is the loneliest thing in the world, there are so many days I don't want to be here. Everyone I truly loved and took care of are, are in heaven now. I want to fly away and go there too. 🕊🙏 I pray for you people, #JohnnyDepp in his healing and the 🌍 to find peace, love and light to the legacy you carve out Pixie for you and your family! You have your loved ones to comfort you & your community on here. I take care of my community at work. Many blessings to you Pixieb your family and the the 🌍🕊❤🙏🌹

[@fionamcgrath8982]

I know how you feel. All the ones who loved and championed me have passed over too. 12th June would have been my cousie's birthday. It's 20 years and I am glad that each day is one day closer to when I will be with her again. I feel for you and all experiencing loss so much. Life just isn't the same but we are meant to pretend it is. Hugs to you and everyone feeling this abyss of pain.

[@Elong.]

My condolences to you ❤🙏

[@namechange4youtube]

🙏 sorry to hear this.yet again people have no compassion any more.remember they may be gone in body but they will always be there in spirit.i believe my late mum spirit is beside my side every day.take care and take each day as it comes

[@TheLauren87]

I'm so sorry! Grieving parents should be a priority for mental health. Losing a child is the worst thing to have to go through so there should be government help allocated specifically for that purpose. Maybe you can set up a Go Fund Me? Please release the funeral video if YOU want too! Don't let anyone push you into that. It makes me so mad that people are screaming at you because you are not releasing something so very personal. I hope things get better!❤❤

[@kygal]

Who the actual f**k actually feels entitled to something like that? Some people are wastes of air.

[@lizbird9628]

I'm 44 ... any low thoughts - I'm gonna live to the next UK solar eclipse 😊 That'll make me 110years old ... I'm not half way there yet - Totally winging it to get there ... The good, the bad, and the totally unfair ❤❤❤❤

[@irenegregory3880]

Stay strong you two I will always support you don t let the b”””””d s get you down the system s out there need change get this crap government out would be a great start xx

[@loraelstad8941]

This always breaks my heart, but the truth must be told & shown, as you guys do. I feel your pain keenly, in many ways, though I've not lost my children. Pain isn't a contest on who has it worst. We all must feel for one another, whatever the circumstances. The mental Health Industry has come a long way from the Dark Ages, but it has soooo far yet to travel to catch up with current needs. Politics are always involved with so many facets of life, as well. The lack of communication between agencies or even departments in the same agency is utterly ridiculous. It always seems to be up to individuals to do all the legwork and makes us have to become absolute pests to get things done. And the "red tape" is always designed to slow everything down or muddle it to the point of people giving up on it, as you mentioned. Government "resources" or everyday agencies to deal with like the driving license place (here called DMV) are part of that problem. The interaction between them & Mental Health agencies is laughable, save for the very real huge impact it can have for families like yours, who are already struggling to stay afloat & partway sane. When it rains, it pours in those types of affairs. As you said, it all seems to happen at once, throwing wrenches in an already tenuous situation. I'm happy that I already know from later videos (as this one was months old now), that the license part has been sorted and was restored. This is clearly when you first got the blow that it was revoked. I just wanted to hug you both & wished that I had any experience in grief counseling to have been able to be there for all of you, especially when Kori was with us, but I don't have that. Not for the clinical jargon BS, but to really help, discuss openly & be able to work through day at a time, consistently. To make a difference. No magic cure or saying "it's normal." I had to experience that whole "group therapy" thing many years back. While it somewhat helped in the long run, there's not really that individual help directly, so it's not fully effective and leaves unresolved issues. I'm hoping things change in both our countries. I didn't take from this that YT was too much for you guys, but the clarification was nice at the end for any who might have. I know getting material things doesn't replace the beautiful soul being physically here of dear Kori, but I am happy people do what they can to help with those things as commemoration to him & to bring some kind of small happiness to all of you, fleeting though "stuff" can be. Often, it's all many can do, who are so far away. That and any words we may impart that have meaning in some way to you. So, thank you for being in my life, crossing paths in this world, & having shared Kori & your whole family with all of us. Fuck the haters. There are so many reasonable folks out here for you. Loving ones, too. Together, we'll do this. We have to. Who else will?

[@heikesteinke3467]

My heart is bleeding for you, you both deserve so much better. How can this happen, I am shaking right now, I am angry and disappointed. I hope, your videos will make it all public, spreads awareness and reaches out to the right people, who might could help. How can the most vulnerable people, who suffered the worst, be treated like that and just left alone with all the struggles. Just know, your faithful community sends much love & strength to you, even knowing, this isn't nearly enough 😢❤

[@msc8663]

It's this way in America too. The mental health care is a total fing mess. There no whare to go. It makes me sick. I'm so sorry for you all. This is crazy. I love you all. From an old grandma from Indiana USA 💕💕💕💕

[@jewelzfeagle3304]

Sending vibes of love and light to yall.... Spanky, Pixi, Ostarra, and Ebony. Thank you for being real!! Your tribe, crew mates know your pushing through and we support you even when you want to explode. LOVE TO YALL ohhhhh noooooo Spanky is having growing pains bless him he's such an AMAZING Dad. I'm sure Ostarra had a blast and all was fine. I remember when my daughter went on her first school trip..... such a good Dad you are Spanky ❤

[@jewelzfeagle3304]

Good thing this is late post 🤦‍♀️ i almost had blood pressure shoot up then remembered ah this is an old late posting ... because praise be the powers you have your license fully restored ❤ whew im glad you have it back. Im watching so you can get your rant on justified for sure!! And the credit view on the algorithms. Oh Praise be you did get it back ❤ 🧚‍♀️🤘🧚‍♀️🤘❤ YOUR AMAZING and SPANKY KEEP ROCKIN THE STELLAR SUPPORT ❤❤❤

[@purplerosegamer1742]

I am so sorry you are going through all this and I am absolutely disgusted by people saying that stuff about Kori's funeral, the worst time of your life and people are being a**holes, I am truly sorry, Kori was a wonderful boy.

[@annhowells1117]

Sending so much love and extra long cwtches to you both. I feel exactly the same as you both, crying 😢daily, no sleep again last night. I didn’t take anything about you not enjoying being a KZbinr, we all know how much KZbin means to you and Kori xxx You cry, be negative be whatever and however you feel. ❤❤❤❤xxxxxx

[@nataliegraham9552]

You two are such compassionate people, even down in the deep well of your own grief and mental health challenges. Advocating for everyone to help those around them, and offering to lend an ear to anyone who wants to reach out. 💞 Love you both and I so wish the systems in place were at least a little bit supportive like they were meant to be. Big hugs from over here in the States. ❤

[@sandravanstaden3244]

My heart it breaking apart every day for you and your family. I wish i could get the grief support we get here in South Africa for you there. Im constantly keeping you guys in my thoughts feeling so helpless not being able to assist you in your path. This is as you said so unfair and unacceptable. I really hope that these videos get to the right people who can actually help you qnd your family..

[@suzannenicn1371]

So wish I could reach through the screen to hug you both seeing this. Its a hard watch but an absolutely necessary one, thank you both for showing us behind the curtain and being real and honest. Personally I agree the country has gone to shit and we all need each other more than ever for the days where coping and carrying on just isn't an option, when you just can't take anymore blows. You're not alone and won't be abandoned by us, us who know struggles and know the heartache of yours, we are here for you both too ❤❤

[@Jessie20032]

I wish I had the right words to say 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 if I could fly all the way from Australia right now I would , and give you the biggest hug.

[@Allegra11]

I'm so sorry Pixi ~ It might be an idea to contact your local MP and see if they can help you with the DVLA. My thoughtsare with you XX

[@rememberremember5106]

This is so sad 😢❤❤❤❤ preying that you can get the help you need. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@annhowells1117]

I feel exactly the same as you both and Pixi you’ve helped me so much with messaging and listening to what I’m going through when you are going through hell 😢 xx thank you for being there for me ❤xxx

[@pamelacox7715]

The way I look at that video you just did was that the steam needed to release before you exploded. I’m glad you did some major venting and pain releasing. Thats all part of the grief process. You and Spanky are fine with the “negative” release. It’s healthier than swallowing it down until you choke to death. Sending you, Spanky, and the girls so much love. 💗 🫶🏻🕊️

[@stgeorgescross]

and may i add spanky is a top guy and a real mans man.me personally cant wait till he starts the lego millennium falcon videos.

[@cindygreiman1581]

PIXIE & SPANKY, I WISH I COULD BE THERE FOR YOU BOTH. I'M EX-PRISON NURSE WHO WORKED DIFFERENT DEPTS. I WAS A HOSPICE NURSE. I HAD FAMILY'S CALL ME @ ALL HOURS. 🇺🇸 HAS MORE SUPPORT THAN UK. I WAS FORCED INTO EARLY RETIREMENT BY MY JOB OCT 1 2022. FROM A F- EN CAR ACCIDENT 🚗 GOING TO WORK. SPANKY IT IS OK TO CRY. CAPT. KORI WAS A SPECIAL FORCE TO BE RECKING. LONG TERM GRIEF TAKES MOS OR YEARS TO BE OK. I'M POOR AS SHIT. I'M EASY TO TALK TO. I LIVE LANCASTER CO-PA. SPANKY I USED HUMOR TOO. MY DAUGHTER STOPPED TALKING TO ME NOV 2012 AND SHE ALIVE LIVING W HER DAD WHO IS A DRUNK. IT TOOK THIS YEAR TO FIND OUT WHERE SHE WAS. YOU BOTH ARE ❤️ CONT TALKING ABOUT CAPT KORI. GOOD DAYS BAD DAYS. MUCH ❤️ TO BOTH OF YOU

[@christymalloy2421]

Hi Pixi and Spanky. Thank you for sharing. Love you all. We are here for you.

[@BlissInterrupted]

Dear Pixie and Spanky.. sending so much love ❤️ I have a long term mental health condition and have found over the years I need to pay for help myself. So I do without other things and prioritise healing. A lot of therapists work on a sliding scale which is very helpful. I used to work in the mental health field and saw such a decline in services. If you can please seek out private help, Zoom is great because they can be anywhere in the world. I wouldn't be here without it. We think the world of you all and hear how much you guys are hurting and much more. Sending gentle hugs and lots of love ❤️

[@carolinecrockett4210]

I'm so sorry for everything you are going through

[@offtarget1758]

I’m glad you posted this (and even more glad your DL was reinstated). Spanky’s flat “wait 6 months to wait 2 years” was sobering. That’s horrible. The 6 months was stupid. I’m so sorry your system is so incredibly broken (and this includes them felling all those trees to get the $$ ASAP). I’m sure we’re no better here in the US, it’s just sneakier or whatever. We do need to be able to reach out to each other, with open hearts and minds and say “Here is my truth, please accept me as I am, help me when you can, and watch me grow, and I will reciprocate” ❤❤❤

[@donnaallen3815]

Sending hugs to you & Spanky. I love you & your family so much. I miss Kori very day.

[@MammaCass]

Love you guys. I live with lung disease caused by rheumatoid arthritis. I came to KZbin to share my story as its little understood. I’ve had no end of horrible trolling and nastiness about it and I’ve never gained a thing from being sick or talking about it so I’m not even sure why. I so understand a lot of what you guys go thru. Love you loads. Keep going ❤❤

[@stringsixxx7684]

Ear now.. we got you guys....an Fux em if people don't like what ye got to show an say......We are here for you and yours....

[@TheBabz]

I’m so sorry to see the overwhelming state the DVLAs ridiculous decision has reduced you both to. Is there any way your local councillor/MP/Mayor, could do to speak up, write a letter. Make a call on your behalf? You said your mental health team & Doctor told them the difference between a mental breakdown & an emotional break, which 9/10 people experience emotional turmoil & grieving, some privately, some with loved ones around them, but no one can put themselves in your PJs for a day, no one can experience what you & Spanky, have, all we can do, is relate to certain processes, & understand what emotional pain is like, for us. Doing this, video, is a good move, because those that mock may be surprised at how your natural state of being, has been revealed. That tragic, events don’t just disappear into the ether a short time after they occur. But, you learn how to be a high functioning, whilst depressed, grieving & getting devastating news that affects all, your lives further. Some people don’t have a life, so want to spoil others, some are unhappy & want others to feel worse, even if it’s by being thoughtlessly provoking, in an attempt to get a response from you. They will get bored, they will get jeered by others, but the best thing to do, is either hit ‘report’ or ask followers to completely ignore them. By not getting a response in the negative, may lead to worse verbal accusations, but if we ignore those too, they will fade away. (Failing that, delete & block them) It is better for the majority of us to hear what you’re jointly going thru. It keeps things real, & may remind some of us, that the projects you’re undertaking, such as the memorial garden, helps keep the captain present, & a part of what you’re doing, what fans can also play a part in, after all, he played a big part in our lives, via his KZbin platform. And some of us miss him too. You are doing the best you can, as you can, but you’re both wading thru a quagmire at present, & have nothing but each other to hold onto. I add my love to the abundance you have received this evening, & pray an idea, no matter how small its glimmer in the distance may be no, that you will recognise it’s potential & move towards it, to correct this ‘jobsworths’ huge mistake. Take care of one another, have faith, & don’t be afraid to lean your head on a friends shoulder when needed, for they will be blessed too. (P.S erase if too floral or unhelpful) If a Go Fund Me was set up to help with a couple of hours of legal advice, would it affect your benefits? I’ve been helped once by A local M.P who was in parliament. He appointed someone to sort out the mess 3 council depts got my finances in. One overlooked my reduced rent, but council care jumped in, & illegally forced me to pay 3 times that amount for my care package. Which I don’t pay for. The guy was very efficient, arranged cross depts meetings & quashed the heap of money rent/council tax they’d taken, & said I owed. And sorted the care bill too. Many councillors & MPs are trained lawyers. And they All want our votes next month. Do you know any personally? CAB?

[@melindatyler727]

My heart goes out to both of you. I wish there is something I could do for you

[@LisaKLivlaughlove]

I’m from the south, I’m right by your side, I’m sorry. Keep vlogging. Honestly, you are breaking barriers with mental health and the real world. I’m by your side.

[@LisaKLivlaughlove]

I feel like this is because of the way you look. Which is beautiful to me. Truly. Be yourself. I’m so sorry our society does this to you …. Reach out. To me,

[@Thestephouse1]

❤🙏

[@Elong.]

The whole family needs counseling soon❤🙏

[@divad_11]

Pixi & Spanky, thank you for just being real and honest. I think a lot of us are dealing with very difficult situations in life, which are often taboo to talk about. Thank you for your courage in speaking up. Transparency is so important. You've got my support all the way. Hugs.

[@mississipi777]

Stay strong love to you both

[@MammaCass]

We love you too spanky you’re a legend mate Kori took a lot from you, I can tell those giggles were definitely led and encouraged by you every step of the way. We are so proud of you both with all you’ve been thru. You are stronger than you know. ❤

[@terencehankinson2000]

Jackie here. You are both amazing . You are going through your own grieving process and offering advice and help to,others. You have no idea of how strong you all really are. Grief affects us all differently, there is no set rule to how long the process takes . I was so cross to hear the lack of support you had as regarding palliative care and support. I was wondering if the hospice Captain Kori stayed at offered counselling as I know the hospices near to where we live offer this. Keep fighting the stupid DVLA how can they judge someone on what is on paper. Just another pen pusher ticking a box. I am sending you all lots of hugs . 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️(seriously hoping this is a hug emoji and not something rude xx)

[@MsPatti1606]

Bless you both 😢 Use the platform Kori gave you to shout from the rooftops. KZbin is not a nice place but you are both better than the trolls. Do what you both feel is right & take strength from the good ones on here. Hugs for you both. Stay strong & Yes I agree Britain has gone down the pan. I lost my husband to cancer at age 51 with only 8wks notice I was let down during his care so understand your anger & had no help coping & surviving on my own since. This was nice to see because you are so strong together. Well done Spanky don't hide x

[@syrenamilani3115]

It is so true , even in the 🇺🇸 there isn't very good mental health care . I wish it was different , & I know the hell of anguish you both must be feeling , with everything just ( falling apart ), all at once . I know from losing many close & loving people in my life ( very short time ), & already suffering ( most my life ), from severe anx./ depression how f' n hard it is to take care of your mental health . I hope things turn @ round ( for the +), sooner than later , because it can' t ( you ), me & countless others go on like this much longer, somethings gotta give . I really care about you all & wish I could make a real difference in your life & situation... I send you all my spirit strength , & comfort hugs( as much as that may not help much , it is sent with much hope & caring . You are in my thoughts & heart for real, real ... 💞💕🖤❇🖤😔

[@Shosuro1]

Sending you love from America Mental Health care is shit here too Please know you’re an inspiration You’re honesty and your dear boy has inspired me I know that isn’t much against the onslaught but maybe a small branch to hang on to to keep afloat ❤

[@roxannetracy2931]

Oh man. I am confused, I thought the license was given back to you, What the heck?

[@thecrapgoth]

This was a video I forgot to release earlier x

[@mindyhuntbeach8026]

You have my love, respect and best wishes! I have a feeling that things are going to turn around for you (for the better)! I'm so glad you and Spanky have each other! We are rooting for the best for you! My positive vibes are heading your way! Much love to you and family Pixi! ❤❤❤

[@MsJPinMadison]

Thank you both for your willingness to be so open and real. Sending love and positive thoughts in hopes it somehow helps.

[@vikingdragon2764]

That's heartbreaking to hear. Your whole family should have have had more help during the palliative care and after Kori set sail. And how people were saying you should have gone live during the funeral??? Are they off their rockers?

[@thecrapgoth]

There is now a palliative care nurse here, but there was no one when we needed them :( People said it was their right to see Kori funeral live streamed as they helped to pay for it. I was horrified :(

[@kellywalker1664]

Christ, I'd call them vultures, but that would be demeaning to vultures. 😡

[@froschool]

Hi @Crapgoth💜. I found Captain Kori through his original subscription drive😊. I was so sad when Kori set sail. I wish for you comfort in your grief and rest from care💜.

[@thecrapgoth]

Thankyou so much for following Koris journey. I still can't believe Kori isn't here :( x

[@sharonwilson8208]

Oh my goodness! Been there and we had no help! Now, I'm on palliative care, for 6+ years. I didn't die like I was supposed to. Instead, the government turned me into an addict. I started crying when John lost it.

[@MammaCass]

Tbh KZbin needs to be aware of channels like ours that are about people with disabilities or end life situations cos I feel you about the algorithm thing. I have to keep up a constant flow of content or my channel drops off the map all the time. It’s taken ten years to get where I am now and it still kicks me every time I struggle. That feeling of being punished because I’m too unwell to keep up with a gruelling amount of work and I’m lucky to get £10 a month out of it all. But still I go on cos I feel like it’s the only way to feel I have a real purpose now my kids are adults ❤

[@kaspinet]

If you can, take the audio from this video and upload it for your podcast. People need to understand that they're not alone in their grief and frustrations. And you, Spanky and Pixie, you're not alone in your grief and frustrations. Unfortunately, sometimes you need to advocate for yourself.

[@MichelleBeard-e8i]

Thinking of all of you.

[@stgeorgescross]

this breaks my heart seeing the pain you are both going through after all you already been through.us crewmates have your backs.spanky and pixi you are great people and made kori your priority we are outsiders dont cater to us as for the haters grow the hell up and leave these two fabulous people alone if your going to be nasty stroll by and say nothing if yoi have nothing nice to say r.i.p our little pirate capt arrrrrrg arrrrrg

[@annhowells1117]

Seeing Spanky 😢like this is so upsetting 😢xx How have they taken it back off you again 😢xxx My 2 support workers have been here today and didn’t help, I just cried my eyes out and swore a lot 😢xx F*ck any haters, how dare anyone slag you off for anything let alone for your precious Kori and our precious Captain Kori.. people like that 😡 should keep their ugly gobs shut. My heart goes out to you both ❤ sending so much love to you both xxxxxx

[@carolinemarie85]

This is horrible for you both . Im do sorry.... is they anything we can do ,surly we can all get together and fight this for you . Let's get together and make one thing at least easy for u .. You guys are strong people. Just to come on here and talk takes such courage. . Ps. Your doggy is so bloody cute 😍 xxx

[@oliviaprewett6061]

Sending so many prayers and lots of love from Tennessee in the USA. I wish I lived closer I would give you both such huge hugs.

[@thatgirl81111]

I hear you both. Even though I can’t imagine the pain you are both experiencing. Lots of love to you all and take care ❤

[@sharonwilson8208]

At least you have a way to vent, a safe place to vent.

[@lisaboo5806]

Biggest hugs to you both. Love you and the system shouldn't be making it harder on your family. Just not right. 😔💕

[@cganley5275]

Thank you for sharing this video Pixi and John.❤ This is all so important for everyone to know. Sending you love! 💌

[@rebeccabourque7704]

Mental health care in Canada is bad as well. About 4 years ago a teenage girl where I live, 14 or 15 years old, went to the ER for help because she said she was having thoughts of suicide and was scared. It was after office hours that’s why she went there. Long story short, they said there wasn’t anyone there she could speak to and they’d have to call someone to come down but it would take 4 hours. They told her to go home. A few days later she was found hanging from a tree in the cemetery near her home.

[@Jacque727]

Hi Pixi, & John, I am so sorry you're going through this. The DVLA should be ashamed of themselves for traumatizing you. This is beyond disgusting. They obviously don't bother to do any investigating. The whole mental health system is broken. Today 6/13 is my son's 45 heavenly birthday. I know how hard it is. It's never over; you can only learn how to survive with it. On Dec 4, it will be 15 years my son gained his wings, and I still deal with it. Unfortunately, you'll get more support from others that have been through it than the supposed agencies that are suppose to help. If you need to talk I am here day or night. Much love ❤ Jacque

[@usagilennon89]

I'm sorry you guys are going through this . I wish I knew what to say. I hope things get better❤

[@americannana1]

All I can say is you know how I feel and my love is with you - Breaks my heart the pain you carry Always my love

[@thecrapgoth]

I love you Nana and Kori adored you SO much x Thankyou for always being there for us xx

[@tammyholcomb]

Hi Pixi and family 💜💜🕊️🕊️

[@dinogirrl1]

This was a problem when I sought help after an abusive relationship. Basically every type of care was available until I said I was abused; six months later; then everyone said my problem was out of their expertise, I had to get interviewed and have new care givers assigned. Had to go through my story to strangers repeatedly, who never talked to each other and never passed on information. So I was told at one meeting that I was lying, exaggerating, overreacting, and recommended I join a group home for daily therapy. I just wanted to talk to someone once or twice a week. Not one single person ever asked me if a police report was filed or offered to help with that. Posters everywhere about reporting at my school, but once you do, you are treated like the whole point is to get you to "get over it" instead of deal with it or hold someone responsible. Sorry for the rant, we are with you and will never abandon or ignore you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@herbalina]

This is awful and I'm sorry. ❤ Are there no politicians working on the mess that is "mental health care" in the UK? I know it's like this in other countries too but for how long can people be completely dismissed and denied what they legitimately need to live their lives? All it does is create more despair. It's inhuman. And where are the people who ran Kori's story in the news? Where are they now? This is ridiculous.