Mental Health in Vocaloid

[@cyclicalkaouthia]

They ask "who are the producers" but not "how are the producers".

[@Jeremy-bd7sk]

Lmao

[@meg.da.kachidog-p]

So damn true.

[@orangejuice9102]

How are the producers?

[@miha_sa]

@@orangejuice9102 Not fine, but their fine

[@-SteampunkTraveler-]

true but yeah

[@RikkuX5]

People often forget what's behind the entertainment we enjoy. It's especially easy to forget it if it's something as lively, catchy and cute like Vocaloid. There are a ton of Vocaloid songs where you see comments like "I thought the song was a bop until I read the translation". As someone who suffers from mental health problems I always loved how Vocaloid was able to connect dark and sometimes even morbid lyrics with a tune and presentation that hits you in various ways all at once. When you feel bad sad music feels right because it makes you feel like you're not alone with these feelings but at the same time it can bring you down and make you feel even worse then before. Vocaloid is different though. It just feels like the producers are telling me that it's okay to feel like that but that I shouldn't let myself down. It makes me feel normal and alive. By the way I loved the little story at the beginning of the video and the transition at 0:46. It made me so excited for the video! Good job!

[@Moon-Archive]

Seriously! I personally don't have any mental issues but it annoys me when people hate a song because of its true meaning which is dark in cases. I actually tend to like songs MORE once I know the translation, normally when it's sad. Why? Well, either I just like depressing things, or because of the fact I don't tell people anything that's a problem for me. So I like to see others expressing their emotions.. Sorry if this came off rude for any reason, I'm just trying to expand a bit on this

[@RikkuX5]

​@@Moon-Archive Don't worry, it didn't come off rude. Your thoughts were very interesting. Especially the part about you enjoying to see others express their emotions because you don't do that yourself. Fascinating perspective. Thank you for expanding on my comment!

[@Moon-Archive]

@@RikkuX5 That's good, heh! I'm glad I didn't seem rude and was interesting to read about! Thank you for making the comment!

[@slytherinlady3907]

i swear this is all i hear people say about gomenne gomenne, yes, its pretty creepy, but its a really good song either way

[@RikkuX5]

@@slytherinlady3907 I agree! Gomenne has a pretty hardcore and important message. The song is really good

[@EXPRES_LINKY_S6]

There is actually one song, "The REAL Dissappearence Of Hatsune Miku" or "FAKE: The Dissappearence Of Hatsune Miku" by Cosmo, and i've actually seen people theorizing about the meaning of the song and the lyrics, and i often see people saying it's not from Miku or GUMI's pov, but from the creators, who doesn't get credit for his work, but Miku does. Which does make sense, and could be the actual meaning of the song, considering the phrase: "Youre songs, they aren't yours, so give them to me." appears in the song, and a few similar ones too. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, my english is bad. I just thought I'd let people know. I also really like this video, good job.

[@Core-Creator]

I belive. Its the ending to her story. After singing so many songs. And living for so long. Her systems burn out and glitch. Till she crashes. And is left is to be rebuilt and remade. Just for her whole story to repeat

[@StudioVOXYZ]

@@Core-Creator Two different songs, dude. "The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku" is sung by Miku and uses the glitchy robot/software imagery. "The REAL Disappearance of Hatsune Miku" is another song cosMo put out years later, referencing the title of the other song, but instead of Miku it uses GUMI. It came out around the time people were talking about the VOCALOID community dying off and takes a super cynical, mocking tone for the fandom: kzbin.info/www/bejne/h6SUpKOJr9yGhqc

[@alang.bandala8863]

That song is the law

[@stalkingliliaismyjob7418]

Where does "The End" fit from here?

[@EXPRES_LINKY_S6]

@@sissybala8393 Oh thank you

[@ross-gg7zv]

there is rly something visceral about hearing the disappearance of hatsune miku playing over a clip of nirvana

[@Creatorsan]

I end up wondering what was going on in the Producer's mind or experinces to make a song like: *Toyko Teddy Bear* *Rolling girl* *Donut Hole* *Love Me Love Me Love Me* *I'm Sorry , I'm Sorry*

[@hm-xg7py]

kikuo's music HAS to be product of trauma. there's just no way it's not

[@jihye1421]

@@hm-xg7py i'm struggling from certain traumas and some of kikuo's music can be wayyyy too triggering for me sometimes. kikuo's songs aren't just "dark", it's more than that. they really have be to be products of trauma bcs the lyrics can be too realistic it's horrifying tbh ;; hope kikuo's fine tho

[@hm-xg7py]

@@jihye1421 yes exactly!! his lyrics are written from an inside perspective, the way he describes situations and the landscapes he creates are very realistic and accurate. especially the ones referring to child abuse, i hope that man's okay...

[@ghostwizard7597]

@@theoutlawprince1304 Better just change that to rip wowaka. F wowaka sounds..... Yknow I hope he lived his life without regrets

[@theoutlawprince1304]

@@ghostwizard7597 yeah, I began to cringe after you said it

[@yamasail]

My favorite producer's name is literally "depression" (Utsu-P). Granted it fits the theme and aesthetic of most of his work but still it makes you wonder.

[@griffin4556]

Huh, I didn't know that lol Brilliant producer btw! love his work

[@DarkRoseChan12]

He’s one of my top favorite producers and I had no idea fr

[@parkmybmwjimin9285]

I love Utsu-P and daijoubu-p also hikkie p. If you haven't checked the other two you should see them. They make questionable music but knowing the meaning into it is really deep and actually nice knowing it.

[@mb-176]

Utsu-P is wonderful both in terms of music and lyrics

[@Vanessa-ru8xw]

i absolutely love his blend of metal and more pop like elements its amazing

[@eviea.1653]

Speaking of mental health, I'd like to point out that majority of GUMI's most popular songs deal with psychological issues. For example, ECHO, A Fake, Fake Psychotropic, Ten-faced, Copycat, Donut Hole and literally so much more. (Please make a video on gumi, I love her so much)

[@nemnyoom]

to say that it's "a majority" is kind of. displaying a large amount of ignorance at the wider vocaloid scene. you've noticed that some songs have elements relating to psychological or emotional issues (and we're not gonna count ten-faced bc that is. a fantasy influenced by popular depictions of did) but that's, like. i could say "most of the songs using flower are about mental illness" and i would be blatantly incorrect, because i tend to seek out producers who write songs about that sort of thing because i really like vflower copycat is by circus-p. echo is by circus-p and crusher-p, who have been pretty popular in the english vocaloid fandom for quite a while. like, i remember when the biggest english songs were insanity and circus monster, which use miku and kaito, and luka, respectively. one of them is definitely about mental illness (mostly dissociation, which i do feel comfortable using as an example!!!), while the other is. possibly also about mental illness. or abuse. or it's completely literal a fake, fake psychotropic is. okay i had to look this one up, but it's from about 2013. that's, like. it's seven years old, and it's by a fairly popular producer, who seems to have grown more in popularity as the years have gone on. i'd be a bit surprised if it hadn't hit 1m, tbh. it also seems to be about derealisation, from what i can gather, so. hm. i might need to give it a listen donut hole is about the same age as the previous song but. are we really going to bring hachi into this. hachi is an outlier who used miku and gumi in his often-creepy vocaloid songs. now he's more well-known as kenshi yonezu. he's kenshi fucking yonezu there's more songs about that sort of thing with gumi, but. especially in the earlier years of vocaloid, before v3 was even a thing, and actually, even before i got into it (c. 2011 - that's right, we're going back to the 2000's), there wasn't so much choice in voicebanks. not counting the engloids, because this was a fandom made out of a bunch of weebs, not music buffs, you had four character vocals from crypton (miku, the kagamines, and luka) plus kaito and meiko on the previous engine. around 2008, when all those companies were seeing how well crypton were doing with their anime girls (and len) (i am also a len so it's really weird to use my name for a robot boy), they all wanted in on this. internet co made gackpoid/gakupo from the popular artist gackt's voice, but they went to a recent upcoming voice actress, nakajima megumi, for megpoid/gumi. and, like, because nakajima had just been in a macross series, and because gumi's character design was clearly influenced by nakajima's character, gumi was. pretty darn popular. her voice was softer and more gentle than rin and miku's, while not being as mature as luka also, i don't mean to say that some of gumi's popularity was because she wasn't a cryptonloid, so people were kind of "i'm not like other vocaloid producers uwu" but that was. probably a thing. it definitely was amongst fans. so she was more of the figurehead of a subculture in the already-existing vocaloid subculture, which was dominated by crypton at the time. like when people say they don't like popular music but they listen to twenty one pilots so, yeah, mentally ill producers with issues with individuality, looking to break free of the crowd on niconico while also looking to be popular on niconico, would use gumi to kind of subvert the expectations of vocaloid songs using miku, while still having a cute girl sorry i have been typing this comment with research for like twenty minutes and i've gone completely off-topic but basically gumi's kind of a big part of early-vocaloid alternative. still, she does have a fair amount of songs that aren't really about mental illness from that time (poker face, yowamushi montblanc/mosaik roll (though those are by deco*27, the king of making me kind of worried if he's okay, they're about relationship troubles more than anything), time warped after chopping my stag beetle, megu megu fire * endless night, aitai" tl;dr i got possessed by the spirit of my twelve-year-old self, who was just discovering that, maybe, being mentally disabled and socially ostracised from one's peers, as well as the weird feeling gender-wise i got when i saw imitation black for the first time, might have had a bit of impact on my mental health. that happened, so i just. cosplayed matryoshka gumi. my one escape. gumi songs that deal with psychological issues

[@AlicornLiaTv]

@@nemnyoom such an interesting opinion! thank you

[@rebeccamartinez5886]

@@nemnyoom Is there a way you can break up the text a bit with more paragraphs? I think you brought up some very good points and I certainly agree that Gumi was used at times as an alternative to Miku's style, but it's a bit difficult to read through...

[@Fishy77777]

The last thing that comes to your mind is the producer of a vocoloid song’s mental health? That’s the second thing I think of.. but that depends on the song

[@ubnubmaster]

Fair enough

[@RAIJINMARU670]

the first thing i think of in vocaloid is actually the producer. it’s why i’m always following them and watching their live videos and streams too. especially nerus twitter. but i think that came from my interest in utaites. since they were producers too i just got into that mindset of think of the producer? i guess? i also follow a lot of the illustrators too. i guess im just interested in the entire production

[@MariaLopez-uz1io]

Rebecca C I’ve been looking for their Twitter accounts but I can’t find any so I was wondering if you could tell me what it is

[@RAIJINMARU670]

Maria Lopez sure i have a lot but you have to know japanese to understand neru is @neru_sleep (hes a big mood) kikuo is @kikuo_sound deco*27 is just @DECO27 kenshi yonezu or hachi is @hachi_08 @idkbria also posts translations of neru and utaite tweets and livestreams there are some others that i like to follow personally but idk what you want so you can ask me if there is someone else

[@MariaLopez-uz1io]

Rebecca C thank you so much🤍

[@vikavolt7082]

Dude I just recently found your channel and its amazing

[@ubnubmaster]

Thank ya thank ya

[@starringsea1439]

Same here

[@someperson3856]

Same, I love how he talks about Vocaloid in a different way then other people, it makes me see Vocaloid in an even better way than I already do ^^

[@_bess]

For me, when I got into VOCALOID about ten years ago, it was all about seeing the mental illness I was dealing with acknowledged in the songs I was listening to for the first time. Back then, there was absolutely no translated information available about producers. But now I'm delighted to be able to find out more about the people who made the music I still love. Perhaps newer fans from certain backgrounds aren't interested in darker VOCALOID songs but for myself and others I know, it was salvation. I'm not surprised to know what a lot of them were going through. Thanks for making these videos!

[@ellieellie8585]

This reminds me of a couple years ago when OkameP released a goodbye song with Miku stating that he was going to die soon due to illness. Everyone in the fandom was heartbroken and the worst part was, he later found out it was an illusion due to his deep depression that caused it. He thought he was gonna die it was so bad. It’s really heartbreaking that people have to keep such emotions inside. He also felt bad for saying and thinking such things but he really couldn’t help it. Such a sad incident and I hope he’s doing better.

[@heavenlysadist]

Why do I feel OkameP's pain when I have mild schizophrenia-

[@softstrawberrymochi610]

The thing I love about vocaloid music is how the people in the fandom can relate to lyrics. They say the words we wish we could say or scream.

[@zachb4561]

This.

[@derpedfox]

Tokyo Teddy Bear and my depression is the reason I'm this deep into vocaloid rabbit hole

[@jennyhuang7250]

Back in... Oh 8th grade I think when I was first getting into Vocaloid, the fact that many songs seemed to centre around themes of mental health, madness, despair was precisely what drew me to them. I often wondered about the producer's mental health, and went searching for other songs, but the language barrier and being a tiny tween was a big barrier.

[@sankyumiku]

"I've had people come out to me and tell me they had no idea that these producers had these problems" Vocaloid producers: *"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry", "Love me, Love me, Love me", "Mind brand", "My R", "Hello, How are you", "Emptiness, Emptiness, Emptiness of Emptiness", "Hole-dwelling", "Misfortune seller girl", "Apple Dot Com", "Rolling Girl"* _How--_

[@Sucaloid321]

The one thing that attracted me to Vocaloid is the fact that all the music is created by the fans. They don't have a team of people writing lyrics. That led me to believe that the messages conveyed through each song represented the producer's real emotions. It made me feel really connected when the lyrics lined up with my life... While these producers don't get support physically, I hope they can feel it virtually ❤

[@Emily-vp9xe]

Songs like Rolling Girl and Lost One’s Weeping are what I sometimes how I vent out my anger. It was like I was yelling my feelings even though I would just sing along to the song.

[@trinitrium]

I loved vocaloid songs because of the "authenticity" being portrayed by these producers, which includes their pain and struggles. Sadly, I was also suffering clinical depression when these songs were released and listening to them was also the only outlet I have. Kinda like an ouroboros moment everytime I listen to them.

[@thatsnazzylad]

Honestly, I think part of the reason Vocaloid is so popular in countries like the US, is because it's not afraid to tackle the things most of us have inside our heads. And no one can really stop is from being spread on the internet. And because the singers are fictional, most people who would be against this stuff can't really find anyone to blame bc they mostly ignore the producers. It's an easy way to talk about things that would normally by censored to hell and back, but isn't due to where it came from. And that helps people who face these issues

[@reshirambrotherzekrom]

Idk why but, to me what you said was either obvious "mental health problems happens to artist you know, and it's not necesarilly visible" because like, when I hear/read the lyrics and I seem to see some sort of raw feelings in it (for an example you showed, "Panda hero") I can't do anything but worry about the producer and I even see it maybe a bit too much. Maybe some songs are just hedonistic thoughts and I read too much but yeah, that's always my feelings and how I resonate the most with producers actually, with those raw feelings that are swimming inside. And the other side is that some things appeared appalling to me, basically when you said "People listen to Miku and not the producer" I had my stomach churning a bit because that's impossible, right ? Then I confronted reality... Because I say "I listen to vocaloid" when talking to someone who doesn't know what it is or as a probing to see if the other person likes it. Then if the lights are all green I present my favorite producers. Because vocaloid is a media and not a genre, okay vocaloid producers usually likes to conform to the "vocaloid aesthetic" because it's fun but it stops there. That's how vocaloid can be both a culture and its own anti-culture, because artists range from Mitchie M to Nashimoto-P. All around a good video and a good wake up call to me because I'm too much in my lonely bubble regarding to communities or fandoms as I just like what I like, but knowing where we are as a whole also helps getting context for the movement of artists that are in our sphere. I just discovered your channel and you're doing a good job at shaking me a little, which is good.

[@komugi0221]

i think on this topic u could look into siina mota/powapowa-p's career; definitely my favorite producer all time, his songs are the only way i could describe them: they feel real. his death was a shock for me when it happened years ago but his songs are kept a legacy on many platforms

[@ubnubmaster]

Okay, I'll keep an eye on it and take a look

[@heliakopter]

yeah! I'm actually surprised no one is talking about him. his songs were obviously about depression and him passing away was just...

[@nemnyoom]

the exact circumstances of his death were never actually revealed, but we all kind of guessed from the fact that, on the day he died, he uploaded 'please give me a red pen'

[@tisisonlytemporary]

yep, his last song was really depressing as well, but i suppose most of his songs were

[@osananajimi3050]

"Vocaloid gives off a positive and happy aura" Me: looks at my vocaloid playlist *sir are we talking about the same thing-*

[@TheLibermania]

Me: Seeing Rin shooting herself in her only song at Magical Mirai. I don't know what else to say.

[@alexashbourne6496]

While I was watching this video, I had realized something: what did you think about some of the Vocaloid producers and/or fans who has autism?

[@ubnubmaster]

I think society as a whole give people with autism a bad reputation. Kenshi Yonezu is a producer with autism and he was largely shunned by society (keep in mind he had high functioning). But now he's one of the most beloved people in Japan. I think autistic people are just ordinary people like everyone else and society as a whole should have more patience towards them because they can do extraordinary things when given the right environment.

[@starchaser4eva]

ubnubmaster hey! i appreciate your care about autistic people, but please do not use high or low functioning labels, as they are damaging to the autistic community!

[@nikkim7038]

Galactix Hi, could you please explain to me why I should avoid using them? Because I have been for the past years and now I feel bad and dumb hahaha, so it would really help me out if you taught me about this so I can be a more knowledgeable person in the future.

[@starchaser4eva]

@@nikkim7038 ok! so a lot of autistic people do something called "masking" where we basically watch others and try to assimilate properly into social situations. this is often tiring and leads to self hate. people who you would call 'high functioning' also struggle, its just not as visible as people who are non verbal for example. hope this helps!

[@nikkim7038]

Galactix Ah, it definitely does! Thank you very much!

[@MultidimensionalSock]

honestly I always considered the mental health aspect of vocaloid, a lot of vocaloid songs are negative or talk about serious themes and vocaloid is the perfect platform for expressing that, especially in a place like Japan where mental health and talking about your feelings in general is stigmatised. vocaloid becomes an anonymous platform for producers to talk about their emotions and be related to, without the backlash or judgement of society.

[@Atmospherewins]

My favorite vocaloid producer to this day Siinamota passed away back in 2015 and after reading his last tweet I can't help but think that it wasn't just natural causes, maybe I am reading too much into it but I have never been able to get it out of my head to this day, his songs helped me a lot through very difficult times and I wish he could've gotten the help he needed if that was the case, mental health is something that has to seriously be talked about, thank you for bringing light into this.

[@tisisonlytemporary]

Im reminded of powapowa.... in a way, the signs were in his last song

[@ethanevans8909]

You said mental health is one of the last things you think about in this space, but its actually one of the first for me. The lyrics of some of my favorite songs are unavoidably depressing-and escapism is an emergent behavior of being able to use a character to sing for you.

[@GeneralNuisance00]

Utsu-P is a fantastic producer. His writing on mental health is so well done.

[@najmaht.a.1314]

His name literally means “depression” so oof

[@kiyopawn]

Maretu's songs are extremely dark, talking about letting babies die inside coin lockers, the perspective of a pedophile, and a gay couple commiting suicide as a way to saying fuck you to homophobes. The interesting thing, is that a lot of these songs are what I can confirm... is in Maretu's mind. He admitted to cheating on his girlfriend, with an autistic minor when he stopped making music. This proves... Maretu's melodies, and nihilistic songs... are indeed his thoughts.

[@kylewoodson]

Really? When did he say something about that?

[@tsrkfn]

The girl was 19 iirc, but still fucked up as hell

[@moaPro]

Well, from what I’ve heard the person he cheated with was actually 20 (but still considered a minor in Japan) still messed up tho. But I also wonder how true maretu’s songs are to himself

[@yessiryishere]

Lol what.... I'm sorry but that it literally A LOT to assume about somebody. Im pretty sure he did cheat on his girlfriend, but to assume his songs are a reflection of his mind? Really? That's really fucked to assume he's apparently a pedophile or something else like that because OF THE SONGS HES MADE.

[@krazykat1412]

Honestly I think mental health is in vocaloid a lot. It may be that I relate to the songs but you can really tell through songs like rolling girl, lost ones weeping, and a lot of Ghost's older songs but they did address their health. I fell in love with vocaloid bc the stories behind the songs feel more powerful, like the song hated my life itself.

[@xhadow8815]

I think this is why vocaloids are really popular with there audience. Not only do they talk about mental health, but due to the producers of such songs, the lyrics are realistic and done from the pov of the person going through whatever mental health there going through. They also add a positive beat which can make it in a way easier to stomach the harsh and true lyrics. Also, anything creative (drawing, writing, lyric writing, music-making) can be therapeutic and used as a way to deal with trauma. So I would not be shocked if any of these producers went through or have experienced these types of trama. Mental Health is a bigger problem than we think it is.

[@leedraconis5793]

Seems like a good video to say I hope you’re mental health is doing good and that you’re staying healthy and hydrated 💖

[@pixelpudding3914]

I feel like part of the problem is that a good amount of times, the song is credited to the Vocaloid and not the producer. This was especially a problem in the earlier days of Vocaloid. If you click on older Vocaloid videos, they say things like “Kagamine Len’s Spice” or “Hatsune Miku’s World is Mine,” as if the computer program is the one who wrote the lyrics and made the instrumental. While it is getting better, even now I see comments that say “Hatsune Miku is my favorite artist!” In fact, in the song, Kill Jill ,which uses a Miku sample, a lot of the comments are asking “Why doesn’t it have ft. Hatsune Miku?” Not to mention when Vocaloid songs show up in other media, it’s again credited to the Vocaloid. Just Dance for example has PoPiPo, Ieavan Polkka, and Love Ward, but it doesn’t say Lamaze P, Otomania, and Oster Project, it says Hatsune Miku.

[@littlezorkie9311]

Snow White and little witch academia shown in the same video, thank you...

[@aliveandunwell430]

candy lover12 ÿëš

[@mytylest8283]

Honestly, I can't help but wonder to myself if the people writing these songs are ok. Especially people like Neru, Pinocchio P, Materu... ect.

[@Kurodesu96]

Neru’s tw is sometimes worrying, some tweets of his makes everyone worry in the comments.

[@jasmineyang6088]

Neru should be fine since he starts to make songs which are more mischievous and ironic instead of just dark and depress :D

[@Kurodesu96]

Jasmine Yang that’s true!

[@Rivwe]

Especially maretu. He makes music often with themes such as relationship problems, child neglection/abuse, even sexual abuse. I’m not victim to these (probably), but the lyrics frighteningly realistic.

[@maesyap5816]

Honestly i'm worried about Kikuo and MASA too

[@timmyboi8273]

I remember getting into vocaloid back in 5th grade and started to understand mental illness and the songs a little more in 6th grade. I do like darker things, stories and such, but I also enjoyed the meanings behind the songs because of how deep and real they were. It's just something so relatable

[@ngaang6227]

I actually disagree with the idea of not thinking about mental health and Vocaloid producers. One of the reasons why I actually enjoy a lot of music from Vocaloid producers is because they tell stories and convey emotions relating to mental health in a way that is creative, relatable and/or understandable. My favourite thing about this software is that it gives people a voice they might not have otherwise to express themselves and create art. Displaying their struggles makes the music seem real in a way that we think can be lacking in super produced mainstream music. None the less, I like your discussions. Keep up the good work!

[@popcornbunches]

I've gone back and seen some of your other videos as well and I'm really enjoying your content. :)

[@ubnubmaster]

Thanks man I appreciate it!

[@starchaser4eva]

when it comes to producers, i wonder most about neru :/

[@hatsunememekuoisaneet]

Luckily most of his songs are based off his ocs and novels and stuff as far as I can tell, but his ocs are... concerning. My favorite is teddy, the boy featured in Tokyo Teddy Bear and i just wanna know what Neru went through to make him

[@hatsunememekuoisaneet]

This is coming from a huge neru stan btw lmao

[@orangejuice9102]

Same,bruh.Just look at Tokyo Teddy Bear

[@TheLibermania]

@@orangejuice9102 You think about Tokyo Teddy Bear? I'm more worried about Lost Ones Weeping and especially Abstract Nonsense. He was 19/20 at the time he wrote thos songs.

[@carbonatedpiss8452]

Yall are talking about how you got into vocaloid because of depression and whatnot. For me one of my family members got a Miku bag because I liked anime, and you know, Miku looks like an anime girl. However, I didn't know who Miku was, so I looked her up and I've been into it ever since.

[@treats207]

Oh wow! I was just scrolling on KZbin in 2013 and randomly stumbled upon it. I've been hooked ever since

[@moaPro]

I don’t even know how it happened, I don’t ever remember seeing miku first oddly enough. Just her voice

[@myuuchi]

I rmb getting into vocaloid bc of the topics addressed in them. It was always “this person understood me” in some shape or form bc I related to their music. With that association, I understood that theymost likely experienced/had experienced rlly dark moments in their lives, and it rlly drew me to them on a personal level. I keep up with news on them and speculate, and it always makes me very glad whenever I see/hear that they’re doing fine or have moved onto other things that they’re happier with.

[@Icecreamandradness]

As you mentioned, music has always been a venue for people to vent their traumas or misery at themselves/the world itself. I’m happy that in the present there are more and more ways to express yourself without having to step into the limelight and deal with the dangerous mainstream music industry. I just wish that people remembered that the singer is only one part of their favourite music. The song writer, composer and editors need love too!

[@SickxSoul]

A lot of the time when I think of someone I see as successful having a hard time or going through the same worries as me it makes me panick, my initial thought is "if they lost hope then what good am I?" Because when you look up to someone you never want to see the flaws, if they can't be perfect then it feels like there's nothing left.

[@starswater]

As someone who reveres emotion and likes to put it out there in all of its intensity, watching this video has definitely confirmed and further helped me understand why the response I get is the response I get. How it could be turning people off from my content because, at times, it's been too real and too dark. Given the kind of person I am I am always thinking about the mental state of an artist when they put something out, I'm always reading between the lines and looking at what I can see of the story underneath, even if they're not sharing it outside of creative outlets. (With respect for how insanely varied interpretations can be, of course.) I don't think like most people, I guess. I don't run away from any of that, and I know that even moving forward, I still won't run from it. Mental health is a huge part of my life, and I have a lot to say about the way people run from it. But I'll save that for when I can actually put my plans into action.

[@kirstenc6221]

Looking through all the comments, I actually find it interesting how many people say they got into Vocaloid because of the sad lyrics to a sweet beat (Granted, with a title like that, I probably shouldn’t be surprised it drew in that audience) But as much as I think you do have a point about the producers, it also makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the audience and maturity. I know at least I personally got really into Vocaloid when I was in like 7th grade, and got super into all the dark songs. Though I’ve always been a fan of darker songs in general, even if I was only vaguely aware of how dark it was (In elementary I used to listen to “Cut” by Plum on repeat. I knew it was dark, but I didn’t exactly get what it was about until I was listening to it one day for nostalgia and- ohhh boy, the second I realized what the song was about I nearly screamed just thinking about how many times I listened to that song- in front of my parents, no less. But that’s sort of a tangent, haha) but as much as I related to those songs and quite easily found more as all the dark songs were really popular on flipnote back then, I didn’t ever really think about the producers. Now, if corse (at least in my weird age/experience) as I didn’t have full unhinged access to KZbin until later when I got a 3Ds, it was much harder for me to know- heck, much less keep up with- the producers of Vocaloid music. And since it all seemed too complicated, I didn’t really bother learning about them and their other work, and therefore never really thought about their side of it. Once I grew up some and had access to KZbin and all that jazz, I started to get invested more, and I think that naturally lead to considering their feelings behind the songs. I remember thinking a lot about (I think?) Crusher-P’s song “Goodbye,” as they admitted that they originally wrote the song from their own perspective and later adapted it to fit “Miku’s.” That song is dark to say the least, and I remember that shocking me because, to paraphrase what you said, at the time that wasn’t something I thought about, as I was hoping around and not really sticking with producers. After that (and a few other producers I became a fan of) I think I became more aware of what goes into the making of songs and the real emotions that go into them. Sorry if the writing is messy, I have spit attention and it’s like 1:00, lol hahaha... ｗｈｏｏｐｓ.... This also ended up being.... much..... Longer than intended.....

[@Likes_Trains]

Your channel is super underrated; this is all fantastic content. Thanks a lot for producing these (I can only imagine the time spent researching and editing) and opening our eyes up to the invisible issues :)

[@ubnubmaster]

Thanks Katie! :)

[@rennachan3267]

This topic has been my mind a lot, especially with the recent passing of wowaka (due to heart complications, that likely stemmed from overwork) and powapowaP (suicide), so thank you for bringing awareness to this issue. Writers, artists, musicians--all kinds of creators tend to make work that comes from the heart, and is often a reflection of their mental state or personal experiences. I personally always just found powapowaP's songs to be cute and uplifting, until I looked closer at the lyrics, especially for the songs he released prior to his death. It's heartbreaking to me that its only years after his passing that I realize how clearly his songs illustrate his struggles and hardships. Maybe they were just a way of venting his feelings, or secretly a cry for help. Either way, its sad that he felt he had no other way to resolve the problems that were ailing him, and hope he's found some peace now....

[@wen2921]

Lately getting into Vocaloid and watching your videos, as late to the party I am and how intimidating that is, it's been getting me out of a major personal slump. The amount of non-conformism I see in Vocaloid has been incredibly refreshing, and learning about the incredible number of people who chased their dreams thanks to this medium is the inspiration I desperately needed. Your channel, too, has made its own impact on some part of my life view, which I think is a pretty neat thing. Cheers to you and your infectious passion, man!

[@pofficial3345]

idk...wowaka was a great producer, his songs touched be A LOT. ''when you're happy, you have nothing to say'' is the perfect exemple, i think he still 'enjoyed' a little create vocaloid songs but was never satisfed, he died unhappy :( i really hope every creators is okay, and honestly a lot of people says that we forget that producers are the one who make our favorite songs and only give credit to miku but i think that now it's not really the case anymore, btw, i hope vocaloid and producers will lives a long and happy life 😔

[@malevolentsounds]

Just realized that I’ve never wondered when someone’s next album was coming out.

[@forgetfulstranger]

Sometimes I wonder how Kikuo-p is doing

[@Jia-dw3bp]

No one talking about powapowa-p? The producer who (highly likely) committed suicide at just 20 years of age? Some of his songs(like astronauts and Q) seem to suggest that he lost someone close to him and was struggling a lot. His very last tweet, on the day he died, also suggests that he didn't want to grow up

[@rennachan3267]

He posted this list of songs in one of his video descriptions, describing how each song relates to his personally, and I still think about it a lot even after 5 years (god, has it really been that long already?) Conflict → Drug Score Solitude → Can’t Even Age Normally Change → Girl A Today → Nothing yet Tomorrow → From the Space Between 6 & ½ Tatami Mats My Life → Goodbye Everyone

[@kaydwessie296]

Social media is actually helping with this a bit nowadays I think. I never knew how much work all my fav producers put in until following them. I listen to a bunch of dance music, and it has taught me a lot. Also I would die without contact with the outside world and I think we as a society need to stop glamorizing "Teehee I don't have friends or go out!" but at the same time, with how overwhelming everything is right now, I'd kill to be able to hyperfocus on something that hard.

[@supergamehunter0539]

5:38 I personally don't see anything unhealthy about it. I only discovered vocaloid recently and the biggest draw off it (for me) is how perfectly it combines mental problems and being dissatisfied with yourself with catchy tunes and awesome beats. Some of the songs like "Circle","Lemon" and others hurt like hell to listen to,but I just can't stop replaying them because of how good they sound. Great video,and much love to all the creators of these awesome songs.

[@keikomenhera]

i was watching this video and enjoying it and all, but then he mentioned something about vocaloid producer's "untimely deaths" and i started crying because i remembered PowapowaP. rest in peace Mizoguchi-sama, we will never forget you

[@Asta0125]

This comment is way late, but I feel like this video probably should have featured a bit of PowaPowa-P. He was a victim of his mental health, and often wrote about it honestly and earnestly in his songs, Especially Re-Overdose and Strobe Light/Strobe Last.

[@Edelwater1234]

I basically like all dark songs. They always feel so nice to listen to.

[@chocolate033]

it's funny that as I grew up and started to view things with other eyes, Meltdown made me so so worried about the producer. As a child I would only pay attention to the figure of the vocaloids and never think about the producer's true feelings, it all looked like fantasy to me so such things never ever passed through my mind. I wonder if Iroha is doing well nowdays...

[@anhtho7042]

yes, the last time I check iroha's post it was a picture about dogs so yeh, at least he is doing better now

[@chocolate033]

@@anhtho7042 that's wonderful news! Thank you for sharing it with me ^^/

[@deadplsdonotlook]

sadistic music factory is basically how society views vocaloid producers are

[@暧昧-u8e]

I'm surprised that there aren't more views on this video. This isn't talked about even though it's just out there in the open. Thank you.

[@claudinebellerive6585]

Mental health in vocaloid: doesn’t exist

[@Maryus1127]

Lwa scene lmao. The witch is probably Wowaka

[@cosmic_seabunny]

Personally I think that the pain and the reality of things brings out a beauty in vocaloid that wouldn’t be able to otherwise. As an amateur poet I understand that expression is important when making a peace and the fact that they can make some amazing pieces while using a character to express the hardships makes it all the more meaningful.

[@anonanonymous213]

Good points. It’s really easy to engage with Vocaloid without having to think at all about the creators. I wish we cared about them more, and were connected to them more as an audience instead of just seeing them as ciphers for Miku, or Gumi, or Luka, etc..

[@Caelus32]

I appreciate the creators and I do hope that they can feel better.

[@muci8183]

I think that the music is the escape of the creators and how they feel, a way to scream and say hey I feel like shit and nobody cares

[@sh_eru3696]

Kikuo's songs just makes me head bop even though the meaning is messed up

[@sanuku535]

I wouldnt mind myself spitting out some words of mine as well here but. Oh well, vocaloids are pricey. For me at least, I Just spit out a few words. Feeling good now, have a good sleep

[@jonathanschenck8154]

I sometimes question the mental health stigma in different franchises, fandom's & media's. social media can be a hell stacked on top of a open platform or even a discussion forums. gaming has a deep stigma catching up with other forms of media that shouldn't of defect.

[@oriba7815]

i miss powapowa.

[@Gehegehee]

Got sudden chills just from the 5 few seconds idk why

[@thatweirdo1722]

This is an awesome content~

[@artykeldeo]

> mental illness in vocaloid me: aight > donut hole in the thumbnail me: WATCHJNG NOW

[@aphermion]

When you put your state of mind into words, it resonates with people who would use similar words to describe their own state of mind. For example: when you talk about a hobby, only people with aligned interests can engage in real dialogue with you. The rest can just inquire or listen. Though, many tracks are intentionally open for interpretation. One could also interpret this style of song writing as an effort to hide behind ambiguous statements. After all, we all do that from time to time. Especially when you have time to think about what you want to say. And sometimes, ...well sometimes things are just how they seem on the surface and most of meaning you think a piece has, just comes from your own head. So, bottom line of what I'm saying is: if you're an artist, your audience likely understands you more than you think. Vocaloid has the added bonus of this little bit of anonymity. It's always easier to open up when you're face isn't attached to your words, at least for some people it is.

[@CycloneSakura]

Ive listened to a bunch of Neru's songs (e.g. Lost Ones Weeping, How To: Sekai Seifuku, Tokyo Teddy Bear and more recently, Terror(ism))

[@asusnora8532]

Have you heard any Bandori covers of vocaloid songs? I recommend listening to the Alien Alien cover by Hello Happy World and Lost Ones Weeping cover by Afterglow. Both are really really good, and there are much more!

[@sakuraitomoki9588]

I've gotten hooked on kikuo's songs lately, especially hitogawari

[@cyrniki]

Sakurai Tomoki please be critical of his songs! he draws child porn on his pixiv ;;;;

[@dreamyreoreo]

@@cyrniki what does he actually????

[@youreverydayrae]

@@cyrniki no he doesnt. he drew a dark comic that just happened to depict child sexual abuse. it wasnt made to get off too at all.

[@targetemployee5076]

@@cyrniki he didnt, he got accused of it by an english speaker since the comic wasnt translated, he just drew that comic to represent and spread awareness of sexual abuse among children.

[@pinkdaruma8942]

man, even without knowing the lyrics, there's some really popular songs that you can really feel the emotion put behind it. And then you notice that these were the ones they purposefully let the feelings go through and that even that cute happy-go-lucky song you like can hide so many feelings. I have always admired entertainers (never really thinking of pursuing this career path, as their lifestyle can get really extreme). I really enjoy consuming their products (playing videogames, listening to music etc) and I sometimes see myself thinking about the actual effort put behind that awesome scene in a movie, that godly guitar solo or that awesome fast paced segment in a game and my mind goes into "how the hell they did this !? it's just as good every single time" lol. Great video and on such a underappreciated topic. It really got me thinking. thanks.

[@fridalighjemdallen7283]

100%, the whole reason I think vocaloid drew me in so completely over 10 years ago is because so much of the music was extremely personal. It felt like everyone could really say the darkest things they had inside them and we could just really express that and be heard, but the anonymity also made us feel really separated from the responsibility of acknowledging those feelings in the song's creator. In a really odd way, it made me feel the sincerity of other people's pain. You don't get to see how nuanced it is otherwise, because in real life it's either very vague or "messy." Vocaloid music and producers really spelled out the reality of emotions. Idk. I'm rambling.

[@iijel0e]

what bums me out so much about this is that people are crediting the voice synthesizer program, not the producers themselves tokyo teddy bear isn't by Rin, it's by Neru rolling girl isn't by Miku, it's by wowaka luka luka night fever isn't by Luka, it's by samfree they did this exact thing in just dance n it hella pisses me off people immediately assume that it's Miku or Rin or whoever singing about how THEY feel, not how the producers feel i'm p sure that this alone can really impact some producers

[@theatrecreep]

rest easy wowaka

[@melon_float]

Thank you for this interesting video: whenever I feel low, I come back to vocaloid for comfort (just like rn) because listening to the songs is like an embrace from someone who I will never actually meet yet I can feel them in my heart (if that makes sense?) I always thought the strength in the “idols” like Miku lies in giving the producers their own manifestation without forcing them to reveal their face. It’s already a very vulnerable and brave act; putting out songs about such intimate topics such as mental health struggles, ESPECIALLY in societies that still stigmatise it. I think by using vocaloid, people are able to connect to the creator through Miku’s (or other vocaloid’s) exterior image; create fanarts, mmd videos, etc. I have always really liked the thought that anyone can create music; you don’t need to have an amazing voice to be able to express yourself and touch people’s hearts. Even to this day I cry listening to certain songs because they feel very very real. I really hate it when people will dismiss vocaloid as robotic, heartless, etc. because so many songs make me feel such intense sadness, or joy. To me, Vocaloid is and always will be a celebration of creativity. Anyway, sorry for that rambling word salad… I am really glad I found your videos, thank you!

[@mcsnowiz]

Great video! honestly whenever I'm listening to Kikuo or Maretu (two of my top 3 vocaloid producers) I find myself worried about their mental health, even though I don't really know if they suffer from any mental issue. It's just the vibes of their song that makes me sink in this state of mind,

[@corinnevalerie7579]

Doing great! Keep up the good work! But ofc stay healthy stay happy and stay loving 👌

[@mariaangelinahumigop4290]

I'm grateful for you for covering this things and topics that other people dont know and think of and you here are making others open their eyes that not all beautiful have happiness in it. Pls continue on making videos like this.. PS: i just saw your vid in my recommendation and im glad that i'd watch this.😋☺

[@cristhiantupaznt6108]

Gumi's mental health: **actually doesn't exist but let's suppose it does** Producers: *I'm about to end this man's whole career*

[@lenciklencik5892]

I started listening to vocaloid bc i found some of the songs so amazingly disturbing and perfectly fiting my breakdowns so when i think of vocaloid the first thing i think of is screaming while crying listening to the most disturbing songs i could find and i rarely think of it without connecting it to mental health problems

[@judahosborne8868]

Hey man, could you maybe make a video about PowaPowa-P?

[@Katerina-kqkq]

Sometimes when I listen to Mafumafu’s original songs and remember the blog posts my brain goes “man, I really hope he got therapy”

[@Katerina-kqkq]

Renna Chan yup, though the fainting incident was quite worrying…

[@rennachan3267]

He constantly talks about pulling all nighters working too, and just hope he takes care of himself physically and mentally

[@MidoriGaleart]

As someone who deals with depression from years, I feel company in dark gloomy songs, helps to take out the feelings I think shouldn't let out cuz they're not socially accepted. Also I understand how the same songs may affect negatively to others, it depends the phase or state of your condition. The song drowning in a wave of sadness gave me the chance to show the people that doesn't understand or believe in this negative thoughts eating you what i felt or had to deal with.

[@minigrinpins2528]

nice junk instrumental at the end👀❤️

[@tomboyjessie1352]

I love listening to VOCALOID(my personal faves of course is the works of Mothy/Akuno-P), but we shouldn't forget that they're are human beings who have problems just like the rest of us.

[@honeytoosweet]

Siinamota - Please give me a red pen

[@la5369]

I actually only really got into vocaloid once I discovered the dark or depressing meanings behind the songs.. I see these songs as not by or for Miku, but by the composers themselves. They only use Miku as a medium to share these songs. I realized she's not an entity; she's an instrument. I was gladly surprised at the lyrics when I found their translations. I'm the type of person that rarely asks for other people's help with myself. It's quite comforting to know that I'm not alone in these feelings. I can also listen to these songs without anyone knowing or worrying since they don't understand it. The feelings were so raw and real in the songs that I can't help thinking of the composers who are actually feeling or have felt this way.. maybe this is they're way of letting out these feelings. I hope they're fine now... I'm glad that they did write these songs though.. because these songs saved me many times when I was in my lowest.. I hope they know what impact they had on so many people.

[@flyingpiggles1034]

Clever use of love me love me love me.

[@dany27P]

I recently started watching your video and I love your channel. Thank you for all this content

[@matreshkaB]

Deco27 was leaving the Vocaloid scene from to conti new because he was working with Japanese famous singer and actress Ko Shibazaki , not because he was wore out and suffered from depression. For example, he appeared in a TV music show with her as a guitarist in 04/February/2011. tower.jp/article/news/2011/02/04/74989 As he mentioned in the interview, he wanted to quite music because his goal(million view for Vocaloid song, collaboration with Shibazaki) came true as a musician, tried to seek another goal. 音楽自体から離れようと思ってました。「ボーカロイドの曲をニコ動に投稿して100万再生を超える」っていう、自分がボカロPになろうと思ったときに作った目標を叶えちゃったし、marinaさんってボーカルの方に歌ってもらった“愛迷エレジー”も100万再生されて、ボーカロイドじゃなくてもある程度の再生回数が出せたし、柴咲コウさんやいろんな方とコラボするっていう夢も叶ったし、やり切った感があって。「さて、これからどうしよう」っていうときに、ぽっかり穴が開いたような感じがしたんです。音楽以外で自分がやれることがあるんじゃないかって、思っちゃったんですよね。 www.cinra.net/interview/2013/12/18/000001.php

[@kaedesakura9274]

I want to create things that can stand without who I am to support them. Something that someone sees and will not be reminded that a person made it. Good art is just like that. You remember someone made it only when it's bad. Seeing amateur art I catch myself thinking "I wonder if the artist will improve" or "this artist is just slightly better than me"

[@nomorename1915]

Finally, I found a video on this subject. As a big fan of Kikou, it's something I've been interested in for a long time, but there isn't much on it for some reason.

[@clearwaffle]

Not related to vocaloid, but when I heard “Junk” by Paul McCartney play, I teared up cuz it’s just a song that reminds me of the darkest moment in my life