First Time Hearing Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica | Suicide Survivor Reacts

[@MentalAmanda]

💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

[@jennifercardwell258]

I'm so happy you covered this song. I have been in mental health treatment for almost 3 decades. Sometimes, my mom and I were at the same hospital but separate units.

[@jamesdenson7616]

My Metal Goddess! Awesome cover, I agree with everything you said, People hate on us, Shit, and spit on us and don't care. Were still stereotyped as 'CRAZY" Not worth trying to help or fix. Unless we meet people that are going threw the same emotions and situations! Please Cover 'IN MY DARKEST HOUR" Megadeth! I'll bet 100 bucks you like it :)

[@johncecak6950]

I'm 50. My trauma happened at 10 years old. I never told anyone about it for 30 years. I've self medicated with alchohol and pot every day since I was 18

[@krammet]

Great choice! FUN FACT: I first heard this song when I was 12, while I was spending some time in a psychiatric ward. (yes, the padded quiet rooms...the whole bit) I was placed in there because my parents claimed I was "depressed". In all actuality, they just needed to "get away" from the kids. THAT is when I was slapped in the face by life and have never been the same. ==Even though that was one of the hardest times in my life, I absolutely LOVE this song!! If you're into Metallica, "My Friend of Misery" is another good/deep one.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@johncecak6950 I self medicated for a very long time as well. I feel much better when I was able to get away from it all. But I get it.

[@robertotostado2364]

One thing about metal, is that is the voice of a millions of teenagers who aren’t getting the attention they need. Strangely, when I started to listen to heavy metal, my very catholic father started to pay attention to me, because he was worried about my soul (lol). He gave me a book about metal and it’s dangers and it came with a list of bands to avoid 😀. Greatest list ever!!! Great bands!

[@MentalAmanda]

BWAHAHA!

[@americanthundergod9749]

My father was also catholic but he was the exact opposite. He encouraged me to cultivate my love for metal. Even if it wasn’t his cup of tea, he not only would get me new CDs of bands I’d never heard of but he’d listen to some of this music with me even if he didn’t like it or couldn’t understand it. He wanted to understand what it was I was hearing in this music without judgement and it was amazing. For instance when I first heard Creeping Death I had no clue it was about the book of exodus, specifically the Passover until my dad listened to it with me and asked me if I knew what that song was all about.

[@salongley]

I used to be a teacher and when a student asked me what music I liked and I replied “metal”. He said, “Ah the music of the social outcast”. At the time I was a bit insulted, however, I feel he was spot on and its now a badge of honour.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@salongley I am PROUD to be weird! Normal is cringy!

[@bighorn1994]

@@MentalAmanda Normal is a cycle on the washing machine!

[@larrybott9597]

I didn’t know your story, and for what it’s worth from a complete stranger, I’m glad you chose to pursue happiness in life instead of just ending it. You seem like a really cool and self aware person. Enjoyed the video.

[@danielbrooks6268]

That lyric “listen damnit, we will win” alone is what I love about this track. So simple yet so empowering!

[@nashwinder]

"They see it right, they see it well, but they think this saves us from our hell" is basically mental health care in a nutshell. At least at the time the song came out

[@d6678]

I grew up on bands like Metallica. Back in the 70's and 80's this kind of music was viewed as "satanic". This is the stupidity of people. The messages from many of these kinds of bands were actually quite introspective and sometimes positive.

[@CollideFan1]

Metal expanded my horizons when I was young. Iron Maiden's Rime of the Ancient Mariner got me into poetry and Coleridge is one of my favorite poets

[@ShiftnWolf72]

I am a survivor and Ironically getting in to Motorcycles has helped me find some happiness. People think I am strange (You could get killed) but I ride easy and free and it brings me a small measure of peace. Everyday above ground is a good day. (Unless your an earthworm! :D )

[@MentalAmanda]

I don't think it's weird. I feel that with horses.

[@pikey13]

I’ve rode motorcycles a majority of my life, if that’s how I go out. I’m more then okay with it, very few things bring me the joy of riding!

[@beatmet2355]

You can killed walking or driving a car, too

[@SubwaySweden]

I am not a huge Metallica fan but "Dyers Eve" is a song I love that would fit perfectly on your channel, there is a bunch to bring up regarding mental health in that song

[@ciscoak9074]

DEAR MOTHER DEAR FATHER!!!

[@BardePhilippe.P76]

Dear mother deAR FATHER what is this hell you have put me to being...

[@SubwaySweden]

@@BardePhilippe.P76 Do as say, not as I do :-)

[@davidcarter1157]

My favorite from and Justice… and one I relate to SO MUCH and the anger that songs exudes.. they know how to show emotion with their songs.

[@smmusicplus96]

Obviously not a casual fan either if you know that deep track. 🤘

[@nassirmreyoud4415]

Spontaneous air-drums, air-guitars, and headbanging are an unavoidable part of the experience. No need to say "I'm not a drummer". I was first introduced to metal by a kid in earphones headbanging next to me on the school bus some 25 years ago. I tapped him on the shoulder and said "I would really love to know what the fuck your listing to that would cause you to move your head like that...". Dude said nothing, just gave me an earphone, and after a couple of minutes listening to Iron Maiden, I was hooked. That said, rock on, my girl...

[@8troll9]

Lol that earphone gotta be your precious memory haha

[@juangil8284]

The earliest memory I have of being depressed was in kindergarten on the playground. I was swinging and all of a sudden I stopped and just felt this sadness come over me, I felt so alone, and no one would miss me if I was gone. That feeling still visits me. I taught myself how to recognize the precursors and prepare myself for that low. Normal childhood, no traumas, loving family, loving wife and kids, awesome friends...I have no idea what brings on this grey. Thanks for sharing your journey.

[@MentalAmanda]

That is crushing! I am very happy though that you have learned yourself and grown to accept that part of you. Sometimes there's no explanation and we just have to do the best we can. I was depressed from a very young age too.

[@thewildhealer541]

Are you me?

[@daveburx]

I can't say that depression has ever been a part of my life. I mean I've been down and unemployed but never an ongoing depression. In my adult life I have, a handful of times, experienced a very dark emotion. It came on fast, stayed for a moment, and then left. Every time the same way. I imagine like Jesus felt, on the cross when God wasn't present. I don't know where it comes from or why it's there but I'm just thankful that it leaves. If I had to live with that dark feeling I'm sure that I would end. My heart goes out to those who live with that darkness.

[@peterworth9403]

With your dad being a Vietnam vet, you should DEFINITELY take a listen to "Disposable Heroes." Same album as this one. This whole album is just...amazing. Every song hits a different chord, and it hits the chords hard.

[@DreadPirateRoberts121]

One is also a great track, both the video and the song is based off of a movie called Johnny got his gun. Very surreal

[@DragonFire666]

You know, I was just about to suggest BOTH Disposable Heroes AND Master of Puppets.

[@shogunshaggy6001]

Amazing album hands down. Only issue I've ever had with it is that is so bass low, which isn't the end of the world of course, but this was Cliff Burton's last album

[@mattcannon577]

My dad was also in Vietnam.

[@mikejohnson-dl7vt]

And "Too Many Puppies " by Primus 🙏😣

[@longbar105d]

Metallica was the motivation though my youth and keeps me going today, 35 years later!

[@fritzmonday451]

Metal is great therapy !

[@leewesley1961]

that is true but 2 other songs that really get to me are with or without you by u2 and dirt by johnny cash

[@TheAlja]

Just listen to the moment when James sings "Sanitarium". The guitar and drums transport so much anger. As a kid, finding this music was ... special. Today, you have people in the charts singing about their mental health issues. Billie Eillish and ... well tbh i have no idea whats in the charts these days. But it's more common. When i grew up it was hair metal, singing about girls, euro dance singing about nonsense, punk singing about beer and corruption and the parents music which was either Beatles love songs or Paul Simon at best who was singing about some sad stuff. But it was just that, sad. And then, at least for me, two things happened, one was Metallica and a while later, Nirvana. That changed everything, music that was about how i felt, that was sad but also angry and loud and fuck all. This was so important. I wouldn't have made it through puberty without them.

[@cpt.charisma]

God bless you!!!!! Metallica's music saved my life when I was a teenager in the 90s. Never give up . ALWAYS BELIEVE!!!!!!!❤

[@clintturk5220]

As an Iraqi/Afghan veteran I thank you. I have battled my demons since I was a child. The first time I attempted suicide I was six and attempted it numerous times during my youth. Songs like this is what got me through those dark and depressing days. Since I have used my demons to help me survive the madness we call life. It was only through combat that I realized my reason for failing so many times. I wasn't meant to end my life, I was meant to save the lives of others. Now my body is destroyed, I can barely walk and rarely ever leave my home but I'm a warrior, I can't seek my own end, I have to wait until my tour of duty is over and someone else sends me to the afterlife. Thank you so much for sharing your life with the rest of us. Stay strong. Also never forget that those of us that know we're crazy are the only ones who are truly sane.

[@MentalAmanda]

You are an incredibly inspirational warrior! Thank you for fighting for us and saving others. I realized I was meant to help others too, just in a different way. Very grateful you are here.

[@K1ng1995]

You, are a true hero.

[@billsmith11]

F@xx

[@scorpionking4012]

I hope you go next on “the unforgiven” trilogy, it’s about a person and how society effects is life.

[@a.t.3192]

All 3 are definitely great songs with beautiful lyrics. People don't give III enough love IMO.

[@pdegan2814]

@@a.t.3192 James' performance of Unforgiven III at S&M2 where he sang with just the orchestra was incredible.

[@anthonyscott9063]

Nothing like being on the floor, in the pit at a Metallica show. You're so wiped at the end but had the greatest time!

[@arthurgabriel4325]

XD What year?

[@051570orion]

The energy in Metallica songs especially the first 4 albums are what I like to listen to when I get the time to work out

[@strogaa]

"Make sure, you're not surrounded by a..holes!" I definitely agree. That thing can cause so many problems we actually wouldn't have.

[@terrysites6264]

You're not crazy, you're actuality incredibly intelligent and gifted! Don't ever let others bring you down! I suffer from depression, agoraphobia, social anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder, so I can kinda relate to what you're going through. Sometimes we just gotta get rid of the toxic people and influences in our lives and do our best to carry on and make a better place for ourselves. Stay strong and have faith, you're not in this struggle alone Amanda! 🙏

[@adammccoy5166]

Damn. I love that! You simply said "I WILL be art of this movement. I WILL help people." And no matter what, you meant every word. Im on a similar mission, with my fellow veterans and mental health. You motivate the hell out of me! Keep up the good work

[@MentalAmanda]

Let me know if I can support you!

[@skeletorsbeastman2408]

You're truly an inspiration to me. I found your channel by a YT recommendation and you've already helped me through alot lately! :) Thanks dude

[@martinnorrman7001]

This song is inspired from the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, if you haven't seen it I can recommend it :)

[@_veikkomies]

Not the book?

[@martinkuliza]

it's actually SOMEWHAT inspired from Cuckoo's next not completely

[@martinkuliza]

@@rodrigobravo5704 No.... the book came out like 10 or 15 years before the movie the book was in the early 60s, the movie was like 1976 or 77 the book came out way earlier

[@_veikkomies]

@@martinkuliza He probably meant that the movie came out 11 years before the song was made. The movie came out in March of '76 and the album in March of '86. The song was probably written at least in part a year before that as they recorded the album in Sep-Dec of '85.

[@martinkuliza]

@@_veikkomies perhaps, perhaps it was a mistake but it's not what he wrote and here on you tube we can only go off what a person writes, but yeah ok, i'll accept that maybe it's a mistake (and in truth i initially thought that's what it was, but again.. what he wrote is what he wrote) but yeah that sounds correct Movie around 76ish Metallica started in 83 or was it 81... i think 83, not sure, it's late, i haven't slept but yeah puppets comes out like 86 that makes sense and the book is in the early 60s

[@4everhealthwellness344]

I appreciate that you mentioned veterans and their service and the mental health challenges that we face. I'm a US Navy veteran, I served active duty from July of 1994 to March of 2000. I was in Special Warfare and saw A LOT of combat and had some very traumatic experiences. I believe my military experience was the main reason for my mental health struggles years after I was out. I have been diagnosed with combat related PTSD and thankfully I had great support and services through the VA here in Michigan, but I know that's sadly not always true for every veteran. Just to give a glimpse of what I saw and did is it ok with you and or the other subscribers if I were to tell of a particular incident that I believe broke me mentally and emotionally in the moment and also lead to consequences 12 years later? It is somewhat gruesome to be honest and some people might question why I would want to relay traumatic tales from combat in the comments section of a KZbin channel to nameless and faceless strangers, but many of my experiences I have only told to a therapist and my older brother who was also a combat veteran. I've never even told my wife any details because I'm afraid she would never look at me the same again. I think it's a cathartic therapy perhaps, IDK but something is telling me maybe it would help. Please give me feedback

[@MentalAmanda]

I think it's worth a try!

[@shure81]

"Fear of living on!" Those words and that melody...I dunno, something about it hits hard ever since I was a kid. Keep up the great content!

[@Bad1Bear812]

Your brave for being public on your emotions, mad respect for you. Appreciate your ability to come forward on your mental health. Your an inspiration thank you for sharing to help others.

[@kevinlee92265]

Ok Amanda, I literally just skipped this song whilst playing the whole Master of Puppets album for fun just literally minutes ago! I watched your 'Tout Le Monde' video a couple of days ago and here you are now on my recommendations page! I now am now a subscriber to your page. The "tout" vid brought tears to my eyes. You're amazing!!! Never stop doing what your doing for mental heath. People like you are champions of society. Thank you

[@kevinlee92265]

*Playing guitar btw, which, when I do play, that particular moment is when my mental health is at it's healthiest and happiest

[@kevinlee92265]

I skipped Sanitarium because it was too slow for my mood at the moment 🙃

[@martinkuliza]

it's "A TOUT LE MONDE" The A is important

[@kevinlee92265]

​ @Martin Kuliza wow SERIOUSLY? Guess what? I don't care. All you care about is correcting my grammar while completely missing the point of my msg to Amanda? Unreal

[@martinkuliza]

@@kevinlee92265 maybe you completely missed the point of what i was trying to say No i didn't miss the point of what you were saying to her but back at you "wow.. seriously ?" such a huge fucking over reaction for a simple correction I'm sorry princess i mean it's not like i said to you "you fucking useless cunt get the spelling right" and then you replied by saying "martin don't be the fucking spelling police" i simply just pointed out in the simplest way possible that you missed the A and .... the A is actually important mate, it'd be like if i wrote Aster of Puppets and then someone pulls me up for the M and have a go at them so yeah... SERIOUSLY Because 1. i did pay attention to what you said to her 2. The song does deserve the respect of being quoted correctly (and any self respecting fan should know that ESPECIALLY THAT PARTICULAR SONG, it's not like you were quoting Tornado of souls and just said "TORNADO" 3. it wasn't ALL i was thinking about it, You're just fucking over reacting 4. it was just a fucking simple correction, what the fuck is wrong with you so.. WOW back at ya

[@RafaleC77th]

Your story of overcoming your depression is Proof positive that perseverance gets you desired results. Always keep on Keepin on. \m/

[@Belfastchild1974]

I have probably listened to this song thousands of times since it was released in 1986. Always thought it was linked to the song Master of Puppets in a way, where that is from the perspective of the drug and this from the user. But your view opened a bit of a new perspective. Will probably have to give it a couple more listens now.

[@lordofrims]

It is linked to "one who flew over the cuckoo's nest"

[@adamd8754]

It's important to note that the band wrote this after watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest & reading the book they based the movie on.

[@Huddle_House56]

Mental health. This band and those words go hand in hand. You would really enjoy some of the lyrical content on the load and reload albums. But I would say, since you noticed the helmet and dog tags, and mentioned your father and the plight of our soldiers, your next move should be Disposable Heroes. An 8 minute epic about the evil of war and the scars it leaves on those who have to (and are sometimes forced to) fight in it.

[@adamgardner2244]

Also Confusion from their last album. Takes about ptsd from war. Great song

[@BlackieNuff]

Everything Hugh said about Disposable Heroes goes multiple for me!! I prefer listening Disposable Heroes followed by Master Of Puppets... seems like a good "encapsulating" order for all the corruption and manipulations out there plaguing us. And the album cover seems to have combined those concepts as well, lol.

[@vanitazazas]

James hetfiled is a really strong lyricist, his metaphores are so powerful as his emotions are. Metallica has helped me through some stuff too

[@michaelriddick7116]

Their song "One" is maybe the greatest anti-war song ever :)

[@pdegan2814]

@@adamgardner2244 The video for Confusion is amazing. Simple in production value, but the way it illustrates what the main character is going through was just beautifully done. It really paints a picture of what many veterans go through when they come home.

[@dalefleming6427]

I am so loving you reacting to this song, another Metallica I think is relevant is Broken, Beat, and Scarred.

[@redhotskillet2225]

Hey girl. Thank you for all the positivity you spread on your channel. I'm still struggling with it but one week ago at 3:00 in the morning I got up during the night to use the restroom and i walked in there and my twelve year old had taken her life. There's a song she actually loved and it was playing very lowely in the bathroom where i found her. I hope you read this story and check out the music video for "never too late" by three days grace. No one else will do it for me.

[@a.s.vieira7846]

The music and the lyrics like this one by Metallica help me to get through when I was a teenager, angry and lonely, restless and afraid. It was almost 40 years ago. It's nice to see someone discovering the power of this stuff and how metal are not what "normal" people say. I think James Hetfield helped more people around the world telling his feeling in his own words about pain and grief than any psychiatrist with drugs.

[@marktemplin1159]

Mental illness, PTSD, depression,, all are very real to the person liveing life with that reality!👍 But there are sometimes things in life can help focus the mind around the reality,,, and this song does try to address that👍

[@stevehunt6741]

Glad you got through your struggles. Mental health is NO JOKE!!!!! I haven't experienced it personally, but I've known people who've struggled. You're a BRAVE PERSON to react to these songs on such a personal level -- keep up the good fight 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

[@BlackieNuff]

When a "mental health professional" tells you, "You can't [be happy], cos you're too sick"... is that them discouraging you and trying to keep you defeated and down? Or... are they possibly telling you something they hope will motivate you? Is it BAD psychology, or REVERSE psychology?

[@Vagari1]

I always love how they weave melody together that catches the feeling of emotion. In the tone they use it brings it down to a very personal level. Hard and soft tones then going to an angry fast harsh tone. They web around real human emotions with tone that is second to none

[@martinwhite3559]

Yes, you can be depressed and anxious about your depression and anxiety. Once you accept it, the healing can start but people will still judge you. This song is on the album Master of Puppets. The song Master of Puppets is about drug addiction and the song Disposable Heros is about war. They are all on the same album. It is often considered the greatest metal album of all time.

[@torsteinholen14]

The first 3 albums of Metallica is just wow! They got me into music, first cassette I bought, Ride the lighnting, I was 6 :D

[@EddyRocker]

I remember when I had depression a few years ago I was also diagnosed with Autism, this was important to understand why I was in that situation, but this wasn't the only thing around why I was depressed, it always happened that there are many things that I can't do well because of pshysical things and always been nagged by everyone especially my father because of his way of being. All of this affected me so much that it came a point that I was especially low, I was enclosed to my own world, I was talking less than I usually do - not too much I'd say -, I haven't talked to anyone about my situation, I was stressed out and crying most of the day(s), I (I still can't do it as well as I'd like to) didn't look to anyone's eyes when they were talking to me, I didn't eat as well and many other things that I was passing through that time when finally I tried to take my life... this is when my (ex)girlfriend came to save the day: she was suspecting about that something wrong was happening with me but she couldn't know what because I didn't talk - I still don't do it that much, I'd rather to stay silent and alone too - but when she found out what I was trying to do she did as much as she could do to help me out, now I'm thankful with her to have helped me out a lot. Now I am a lot better and also I understand why I am the way I am and try to get better. I know it's been a little bit long but I needed to tell it. Thanks for sharing with us your experiences, Amanda and keep going on with these videos that I would say they're gonna help a lot of people

[@danksquid3265]

"I still can't do it as well as I'd like to" - this means so much. It's the spark, the thing that wants you to grow.

[@EddyRocker]

@@danksquid3265 Yes, I am better these days but there are things that haven't healed as well but I am trying to get better as much as I can

[@MentalAmanda]

I agree with Dank Squid that recognizing what you want to improve upon is HUGE. Just make sure you are loving yourself while working on yourself! I am 99% sure I am on the spectrum. My most previous mental health professional agrees. I can say from experience, it makes ALL the difference when it comes to disorders how the people closest to you handle them. Very happy you have the love you deserve.

[@EddyRocker]

​@@MentalAmanda It's correct, I am working in how to communicate about my feelings about something I don't like that much or it hurts me a lot, this is a part of why everything started, just that I didn't know why it caused it because that I actually didn't know how to talk about my feelings and been working on it and also that I didn't talk too much in general and been alone for a while. When that happened I was just about a few months with my girlfriend which knew a lot about Autism because she got a sibbling too (I'm thankful about that) and knew something wrong was happening. Affortunately I am better in the nowadays with her help, my family too and the psychiatrist who attended me at the time.

[@daleheldberg6568]

Metal can be so therapeutic. My brother used Metallica, Slayer, etc to get through his long hospital stay from a kidney transplant. A dark time, looking at a much shorter life span...I can't imagind

[@hughjanus9557]

One of my really good childhood friends and I would listen to this song as we drove around and hung out. He sadly passed away when a pack of coyotes got him when his car ran out of gas and had to walk. It hurts to listen to so I am going through this emotional roller coster with you on this one.

[@MentalAmanda]

Keep his memory alive and share his love with the world!

[@andyburwick1534]

I never add public comments, but after hearing you speak of your victory over depression and your uplifting advice to others that need to hear such things to give them the keys and tools to help in their fight...after listening to you I felt an inspiration I seldom experience. I wasn't feeling the least bit down before I watched your video but afterwards I felt renewed and my spirit refreshed. You are a great warrior. You're awesome. God bless you.

[@alanbrown7412]

Oh wow. I can't believe a medical professional actually said that to you Amanda. You are right ...if people tell you something about yourself often enough you will start to believe it. The negative tongue has a lot to answer for. You are awesome Amanda...it makes me feel warm...when I see you smile after all you've been through. A testament to positivity and believing in yourself . As far music is concerned...I'm a complete rock and metalhead...and Metallica are one of my favourite bands. Metal certainly pulled me through some dark times when my wife left me ..even though I thought everything was fine. I blamed myself ...confidence at a low ebb...even though it wasn't me who finished our marriage. I'm now divorced ...but all is well .. Keep everything going Amanda. You are a beacon shining love all around. Take care. Peace and love from Liverpool UK 👍✌️🤘❤️

[@darchon5]

Another lovely, heartfelt reaction, thanks again for reacting to Metallica (my fave musical artist) and as always for doing what you do to lessen mental health stigma.

[@מיכאלסנדקובסקי-ש8ש]

I think you need to listen to the song 'snuff' by Corey Taylor (the acoustic version). Such a powerful song, and you can hear the amotions through his voice. The song itself is not about something very mentally but after one of his friends died, he sings the song for him.

[@wolfewolf6261]

Wow awesome. My 3rd fave Metallica song. I've listened to this song thousands of times since 86's and gives me great joy in watching someone hearing this for he first time. It's nice when you can just appreciate the music and lyrics. Well done again. Cheers.

[@scwebb]

Another great reaction, loving your insights on all of these songs. If you want more Metallica I would recommend The Unforgiven (the first one - it has sequels!), a song exploring an individual’s struggle against the expectations of others. It has a powerful music video too, though I’d recommend the shorter version as the theatrical video has a lengthy interlude right after the intro.

[@ledbetter17p]

i just recently come across your videos and I suffer from Agoraphobia and depression and ptsd and have been struggling really bad the past few days due to a 10 plus year relationship ending just before the holidays. Your insight and you talking about the struggles you have dealt with have been a life saver for me these past few days. It's nice to know there is someone else out there in this world that has the same struggles that I deal with every single day. Your positivity is uplifting and I feel very blessed to have found your channel. Thank you for making these reaction videos and talking about these things please continue and keep up the great work. You are my new hero.

[@MentalAmanda]

I had SEVERE agoraphobia and depression after losing my mom in 07. It took a long time to even be able to drive down the street. Now, I've managed to be able to travel abroad! There IS hope, I promise!!!!! And thank you. I will keep my part of the triforce safe!

[@aryarwen_emmanuel]

I loved your Metallica’s reaction. I live with a person who has Borderline disorder and I understand how difficult some things can be. You should react to Papa Roach - Last Resort 🧐

[@micah3311]

I love how happy and exiting your reactions to the song are.

[@marinkingston]

Harvest by Opeth is also a great one to react to! It hits home for me personally

[@quecksilber457]

Still my favorite song of my favorite band. It was my "theme" song whilst i was in such a place for three months because of depressions, an internet/gaming addiction and a light narcissistic personality (not the real disorder, i was on that path but never crossed that line). Listened to it every day, helped me a lot. :) They know so much nowadays. I was shocked how much they knew about me, without me telling them anything in the beginning. Great docs here in Germany.

[@willwozniak2826]

You are not alone my friend. This band has helped me through dark times, not to mention Lars got me into drumming when I was 6. Constant battle I live everyday with all of it.

[@bdr113080]

Hey Amanda! I’m just a Metallica fan and have just been playing Metallica videos on KZbin today and I just ran across this video. I just want to say that I’m glad you are here with us today and I am glad you are in a better place. Mental health is a battle and I have been in that same fight for 25 years now. I’m doing the best I have ever done but I still have a long way to go. No matter what happens just remember that we can’t control the things that happened to us sometimes but we can always control how we react to it. I learned that staying positive and being positive and just being a better person to people helps a lot. When we put out negative energy like arguing with people online about politics or just being rude to people and that’s the energy the universe will give it back. I realize that when I help other people and I do things selflessly that it makes me feel better and no matter what problems come my way I know it might be tough but I will be OK and I will make it. I try to look for the good in every situation even if it’s a bad one. If it’s bad I just look at it as a learning experience and I smile because I know I will come out on the other end OK and life will continue. Again I’m so happy and so glad you are here with us today. I hope you have a good positive people around you because you seem like a good person and just never give up. Great video by the way keep up the great work.

[@jeremyharrell1803]

You are beautiful and seem intelligent, charismatic, and positive. I feel bad for you for what ever happened to you to put you in that position. Keep pushing forward for mental positivity, and keep your reactions coming. You inspire me to look at people with true mental illness as a true sickness and not an excuse. Thank You

[@paulburrow5853]

I never had the song broken down like that, I did not know the story behind the song. I do have mental illness and I have hit the bottom of the barrel two times, where I lost everything and it took my friend and God putting her in the store that day to realize that I am not alone and I needed help finding help. I was so overwhelmed with seeing my life spiral out of control, that I just wanted to end it all and have the problems and myself disappear. I got the help I needed, and got on medication and what really sealed the deal was the business I was currently employed at closed down and I transferred to a different plant in another state and I left the old life and all of the bad people behind and started all over from scratch. Now I am building my life back up, getting my financial issues resolved and am living a much happier life.

[@stevehunt6741]

Just subbed Amanda. You're stories are RAW, REAL & GENUINE!!! Happy you're still alive!!

[@Dubblebass]

I just found your channel. I love your videos and your message. I am a huge Metallica fan (which is what brought me here) but I plan on watching the rest of your videos now. :) For what it's worth, I am glad you chose the path of healing and perseverance. I care that you exist. You are spreading a great message by sharing your story and touching many people's hearts. Thank you for what you are doing.

[@kylemiller4091]

Been my favorite Metallica song since my high school days in the 80s. I wasn't normal then, not normal now. Don't let anyone make you be normal. Normal and healthy do not have much in common.

[@MentalAmanda]

Best quote EVER right there!

[@kylemiller4091]

You are gonna be okay. You might already be okay. Being okay and being happy are not the same thing, either. Being happy all the time i s not a normal condition. Sadness is normal sometimes. Despair is normal sometimes. Laughing your ass off is normal sometimes. This is the human condition. Learning to deal, day to day, is the little victory that allows us to survive and thrive. Not an easy road, mostly. But the rewards are pretty sweet, if you can get there. You have randonly made my world nicer to be in.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@kylemiller4091 It drives me NUTS when people see you emote and assume you aren't happy. I am a happy person (meaning my base, neutral emotion is now on the happier side of the spectrum) but I do have feelings. I cry and laugh and yell just like every other person! I am humbled to have improved your world in some way. You made me smile, so you made my day better too!

[@Sibian_Wolf]

I saw maybe 10 of your clips, but this is the first one you didn`t start to cry. Your smile in this is georgious and addictive, made me smile too. "Sanitarium" finaly gives you good vibes :)

[@MentalAmanda]

I promise I have lots of happy reactions too! A few include Be the Best by Tenacious D, Last Hope by Paramore and Rise Up by Morissette 😊

[@Sibian_Wolf]

@@MentalAmanda I will watch them.

[@Kronmizter]

It`s Soo nice to see you smile again!! I really hope that you are feeling better friend from Sweden

[@MentalAmanda]

I very much am!

[@davidault7118]

WOW!!!!!!!!!! What a difference. Before I watched you do sanitarium. I watched you do fade to black. And the difference in you is amazing!!!!!! Keep up the excellent work. Loved watching you have fun. Headbanging and playing the air drums. Was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

[@jeffreycraig4493]

I'm glad you're here to share these reactions with us, and that you were able to prove them wrong by finding happiness

[@jonaslindberg5482]

Just wanted to pop in here and say that I think you are really brave talking about this important matters so openly. You and your "mission" are so important these days. The world needs more Amanda's. I will keep following you and your channels for sure. Take care and keep shining Hugs from Sweden 💖

[@jonaslindberg5482]

Yes you could and should definitely 🖕🖕to that horrible person. So sorry to hear about everything you've been going through. Love to hear about your progress though. It gave me goosebumps. You are a Rockstar 🤟😎🤟

[@TheDragon7t]

Thank you for this vid It was really helpful for me tonight. Stay strong.Im Trying my best.

[@MentalAmanda]

You are doing amazing! I'm here anytime!

[@TheDragon7t]

@@MentalAmanda thank you.

[@brallin94]

I just found you through some other reaction channels starting with your Falling in Reverse and Megadeth videos. Metallica is one of my favorite bands. This song was the first song I performed with my brother when we were learning our respective instruments (me on drums, him on guitar.) They were my gateway into metal music when I was very young and have helped me through a lot of dark times in my life. Your words are very inspirational. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression and was suicidal a few years ago and hearing some of what you went through and seeing you here in a better place gives me more hope and motivation to get better. I’m glad you’re still with us and making these videos and working to end the mental health stigma. Thank you 💜

[@brallin94]

Also, Lucifer is an amazing show! 😈😜

[@harliiquinnstarlight]

Love this song. It's on one of my Playlist

[@guitaratfourty]

Live life for You. Dont live for others. People dont understand things You go through. You are a brave soul for what its worth.

[@paolodelaluz1190]

I Love and appreciate your comments and knowledge about you I am happy to have seen your reaction you are amazing

[@chivosalazar9301]

19:45 loooove the emotion there

[@otakubancho6655]

I love how honest you are about your struggles with mental health,if more people were like you this world would be a better place.💖💖💖

[@MentalAmanda]

That's why I'm giving everyone a platform!

[@leewesley1961]

@@MentalAmanda you should always remember that all of you're helping words to people save lives worldwide!

[@damiankarloff5697]

yes you can do that on youtube and i have been on the tail end of hospitals doing that

[@joachimandersson6688]

A real wholesome song is "come on home" by Freedom Call. Its an anthem song that really brings a homy feeling to the metal community! love your content and your a star! Greetings from Sweden!

[@paolodelaluz1190]

You are a true warrior I am so sunlighted by you thank you

[@slaw38]

What a beautiful, strong young woman you are. Not just on the outside but more so on the inside. Its amazing to see how you have overcome your.... struggle within.

[@damienosullivan193]

You mentioned the word inmates. It reminded me of a singer I know of named Jimmy Barnes who for a period had a serious cocaine problem that brought him to a rehab facility in your state Arizona. On entering, he described the people who were there as inmates and was told to stop immediately. He battled drugs and alcohol for years, trying to escape his past. He had a difficult childhood with poverty and the things he witnessed in the home. He eventually went on to be a successful singer in the band Cold Chisel and as a solo singer, but it took until a night on tour in Auckland when unsuccessfully (thank god) tried to take his life and then was like,'i have to change'. He then wrote 2 books. One about his childhood and the next about how it affected him as a man while making music. He had to put down a lot on paper to make sense of it all, he had his own demons he spent years trying to run from then realised he had to turn around and face them before they run him down. This completely changed how I listen to all his songs and he made a great album after based on some of things in his books, but he is doing so well now, in a much better place.

[@darklord2703]

amazing story, great channel, love what ur doing!

[@RedsFan1995]

As a TBI victim, mental health’s a huge deal for me. I totally understand what you’ve been saying in your videos and support you 100%, Amanda. Keep kicking ass in life! 🙏🏻💪🏻🤘🏻

[@RedsFan1995]

Please do a video on the Three Days Grace song “I Hate Everything About You” because it’s extremely sentimental to me and it helped me through an extremely dark period in my life last year.

[@joejaenisch5839]

I too am a vet. Thank your dad for he’s service and sacrifice.

[@sgh9114]

16.45min. That's the most powerful thing one can do for themselves in this lifetime. I've learned, as soon as you heal and bring into balance certain aspects of your shadow, deeper layers present themselves to be healed, it's like layers of an onion. All at once will be too overwhelming, which unfortunately many people are faced with, such as what this song is referencing. It's a journey everyone faces in their own way to varying level of degrees and there are TONNES of other important factors that I won't mention here. I've also learned to enjoy the process, the challenge and consider it a wonderful opportunity for growth AND most importantly to just be in the moment, living in and from the heart. Fiercely loving everything without condition (which also is a major major challenge, especially in today's world). Rant over...Bless you sister, keep doing what you're doing, walking your path and speaking your truth. Much love :D

[@sonofthesea3298]

Oooooh snap,the stunning Amanda doing one of my favourite songs that i even suggested on your first reaction. I absolutely love the instrumentals in this song! I think i would have loved this as much as i love Orion by them,if Welcome Home (Sanitarium) was purely instrumental like Orion is too. But the lyrics does add to this song,for sure. 😍🔥💞

[@henriksjoblom]

Amanda. Your felings are right on. Been there as a 32yr male. This song has been with me for 10 years

[@henriksjoblom]

Tomorrow, Tom Macdonald.

[@henriksjoblom]

2 new albums.

[@shaunmorris8176]

Hi from Adelaide Australia, you are so wize above your age. Metallica has helped me.

[@glenseivers8318]

You have a very big heart Amanda ❤. Great reaction

[@johncecak6950]

When you said it feels you're living the same day over and over, that hit home

[@DomTheDragonSlayer]

Great review and thx for sharing !!! 🤟🤟🤟

[@Mebucko]

You are not just absolutely gorgeous, you have such a sweet soul. Don't listen to poeple telling you that you are different. I just think that you don't forget about the bad things so quickly like most of us do. Maybe the ones diagnosing you are the crazy ones, ever think about that? We all forget about wars and the terrible things that happened, but the only way to fix things is to remember. Hell we don't even remember wwI and barely WWII. Listen to Metallica "One." Puts thing into perspective. Don't know you, but love you soo much!

[@ericlikovic5624]

Another song that helped me through depression. I love to listen to this song cause my sanity... and I felt like something in me was being like really really really angry. So much angry that I hated my best friends. But now all good. Love in Welcome home sanitarium especially 89 Seattle version.

[@DavidC-ru4it]

Combat veteran here... I have struggled with repetitive nightmares going on 15 years. I'm not a doctor/psychologist but very recently (3 weeks ago) my new psychologist at VA informed of a new treatment discovered accidentally during a an unrelated study that a certain blood pressure drug (clonodine)side-effects was the almost elimination of nightmares in conjunction with Ambien. I take Clonodine 30 minutes prior to Ambien and the results have been nothing short of astonishing. I don't fear sleep, and I'm no longer tormented by nightmares. I'm finally in a place I can consider see a future free of Ambien and nightmares. Again not a doctor, but I'm grateful for this treatment.

[@chipbagley4744]

Thank you for your service, much love!!!!

[@IronAlchemist6]

I recommend the Metallica song Unnamed feeling, it sounds vastly different to this era of Metallica but it's still quite good, its a raw and emotional song about depression, frustration and anxiety

[@holywisdom1]

Damn you inspire me...keep on fighting, hail from belgium and suicide survivor 👏

[@davesisk4791]

You are awesome, beautiful inside and out!! Don't stop your message, guarantee people are listening to you. Oh by the way.. METALLICA!! 🤘🤘 I could suggest some METALLICA songs to try but they're all great. Keep being you.. your great. Can't wait for the next one.

[@cowboybill.2433]

Salut depuis la France,Amanda !i really like your videos and I’m sending you some positive vibes and I hope you will feel much much better throughout your journey!stay strong and stay safe,Amanda !😊

[@MentalAmanda]

Salut! Merci pour ton soutien et ton energie positive!

[@cowboybill.2433]

@@MentalAmanda de rien,ma chère amie !ce n’est pas facile tous les jours !😊😊😊

[@glaight6362]

You also said something else which is so profound and at the root of so much dis-ease, you said "I love me"!!!!!! I am so happy for you and to hear you say that. We are all on a spiritual journey (religion aside) and yours is beautiful to see 😁

[@michelpater4562]

Amanda music saves the soul.❤

[@andrewbraun-bq4ki]

@MentalAmanda I know I’m late to the party, but I just wanted to thank you for these videos. While not being diagnosed with any mental disorders despite being a USMC vet and former fire fighter, I believe your videos are really helping those who do. Your raw emotion and honesty when reacting to these videos, in particular Fade To Black, let people know it’s ok to not be ok and it’s also ok to seek help, whether it be from a professional or a friend. Continued success in helping to shatter the stigma associated with mental illness.

[@joejaenisch5839]

I got to the part where, if you didn’t like me or want to be with me… I don’t need you. If you truly care for someone, it shouldn’t matter for anything. Love that person and be there for them. They need you

[@MentalAmanda]

I love and am there for people, even my exes. That doesn't mean that I have to stay in a relationship (or friendship) with someone when it's toxic for both of us.

[@adamwest8256]

Thank you for your beacon of light in this cold, dark World.