3 reasons why toxic people wont CHASE AFTER YOU

Some narcissists will let you go and not try to get back with you. Narcissistic people will not chase after you when you break up with them. Some of them will let you go for a few different reasons.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much

[@detroitMC313]

The irony is they hate the shame but everything they do is shameful.

[@tranquility9325]

That is exactly right. They are walking, talking contradictions.

[@NatzTalk]

EXACTLY. Make it make sense. I hate being shamed so let me do more shameful shit.🙄

[@clintlandrum9498]

​@@tranquility9325man, are they ever. Fortunately, but unfortunately, I needed to hear this msg.i already knew it, but I needed it re-enforced.

[@marijkevandermeer2772]

Exactly

[@annstar2793]

It is so weird !!!

[@user-bd9uo8dw3j]

1. They have other supply (supplies) 2. You figured them out. They don’t want to deal with the troubles. 3. They want you to chase them. My opinions.

[@kameelahsalaam2748]

Their ego wants to be chased. I their minds, THEY'RE the catch, even though they've abused, manipulated, stalked and harassed you. Weird.

[@brandicollins3511]

Facts

[@brandicollins3511]

Well the three I’ve dealt with have chased me even after almost 20 years

[@brandicollins3511]

I’m a butterfly 🦋 I don’t chase & they know this those demons need to be rebuked in the name of Yahusha 🙏🏾🙌🏾🔐

[@brandicollins3511]

Replacements don’t matter they will still try to come back I’m going to tell you like this there is only one ME & I’ve always been the main supply cause 9 times out ten some always have multiple supply one person is never enough for narcissist they not enough for themselves I couldn’t even get my words out all the way my narc was like you don’t love me anymore I said bro you don’t even love yourself & he giggled a little bit & there was my anwser why should I continue to love you when you don’t love yourself they love the way you love them ✌🏾 hurt ppl don’t don’t have to hurt people it’s a choice these demons know exactly what they are doing hurt people become prayer warriors counselors teachers empaths a friend we become good people ❤

[@tranquility9325]

We have *got* to leave demonic ppl alone. Self love is crucial.

[@shaunierockett4964]

Yes tht part❤️‍🩹

[@kameelahsalaam2748]

Amen!❤

[@tranquility9325]

@@shaunierockett4964 yup

[@tranquility9325]

@@kameelahsalaam2748 🙏 amen

[@ctt7971]

Yes! And they can’t change

[@desertangelfish140]

Avoidants don't chase, they immediately replace with the "friend" they were grooming in the shadows.

[@clintonnagy1662]

Hahahaha...soooo true. " the friend "....

[@Sandra.B]

Exactly.. "immediately".. since they can't be alone...

[@clintonnagy1662]

@@Sandra.B She wanted to make me " the friend especially after I put alot of my time and effort into helping her and making the relationship feel legit. I was intimately involved with her and starting to get invested. I have too much to offer for those games to be in the " friend zone". How about "NO".

[@mpacino1224]

So true. Every time. Starting with my father, Then my ex, then my boss. They always have a spare or two.

[@mauricioprimus2610]

​@clintonnagy1662 When I read your comment I felt like I wrote it because I had exact same situation. She want it me to be friends, to pay her lunch and dinners while she fuck with other. No thanks.

[@darlenemoses4692]

I don't chase I attract, when I blocked and went no contact I always knew that he wanted me to chase him, The new supply can have that Old BS, I'm good 💯😊 thank you Lee ❤

[@TM-te5dp]

I feel the same, but I still feel hurt it ended the way it did. It's been 5 weeks and two weeks of no contact. I want time to pass fast so I can have a speedy healing 🙏🏻❤️

[@wendygoddard6610]

Yes, laugh out loud because my ex narc went back to his ex before me and she can have him. He’s her headache now while I live in peace and I am so happy.

[@brandicollins3511]

Exactly love yourself know yourself definitely know your worth PERIOD

[@brandicollins3511]

@@wendygoddard6610 exactly one thing for certain 2 for sure whoever my ex is with they definitely don’t have him to themselves 😂😂😂 one person is never enough for some narcs & I’ve been more happier

[@MARA-yz3oy]

​@@TM-te5dp❤

[@gangGreenthumb]

2:12 "narcissists HATE being rejected..." yet they reject their partners over and over and over breadcrumbing and rejecting and breadcrumbing...

[@MentalHealness]

🎯

[@queenb3088]

Damn devils!

[@estorbo1981]

I thought it was me being too demanding but some of the arguments make no sense and come out of nowhere.

[@queenb3088]

@@estorbo1981 they WANT you to second guess yourself. That's their masterful manipulation. Don't fall for it. See it for what it is.

[@gangGreenthumb]

@@estorbo1981 When you make a point that deflates their argument, they immediately change the topic to an argument you had 10 years ago... because they can't allow you to be right, and more importantly, they can never, ever allow themselves to be wrong. So, you get word salad and they put you in the position of defending something from a decade gone by. Manipulators.

[@Notbothered1]

Its a blessing when they leave you n they never come back..

[@MentalHealness]

‼️‼️

[@jenniferburton7044]

Definitely a blessing in disguise.

[@ClaraBrown-o2o]

Facts

[@RobinGreen-b2p]

FACTZZZ 💯

[@willows-bl3kk]

​@@MentalHealness I recommend that you find out about Brain function Supplements, CALLED neurotrophic, The KZbin channel called NOOTROPIC EXPERT goes over these supplements in short videos that explains them, I did take the food supplement called SAM-e and B- complex for 30 days and stayed home and rested, repaired my health, When I did come back out people I knew tried to upset me and I didn't get upset, they said WOW you changed, and ghosted me, couldn't get their supply of upsetting me, so they when no contact, Basically all the toxic people Left on their own, I still take it as needed, and work on myself as I spot my own bad behavior,

[@tranquility9325]

I want peace. They can chase themselves.

[@Doveandson]

🙌

[@MentalHealness]

Stay safe

[@tranquility9325]

@@MentalHealness always

[@AWESOMEPRODS4]

🥰🥰🥰🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@jenniferburton7044]

I love this 😂😂😂😂

[@Kazzas73]

The silence from a narc is a blessing. Be at peace and feel the spirit of true love and positivity run through your soul.

[@trance212]

Silence from a narc is priceless. 🎉

[@emlinc229]

Amen✨️💖☀️✨️🕊

[@foxygayla]

I would be crazy to chase him. No way. He underestimated me. He would just give me bread crumbs. Then he couldn't even face me. Cowards.

[@kylaevans5928]

They are the biggest cowards ever, ghosting & discarding people like trash. Weak pathetic cowards.

[@ctt7971]

That’s a great description: they really are cowards

[@natural_free_spirit]

Exactly, that always confused me. They do so many bold hurtful things but can’t even face you if they are caught. They are truly cowards.

[@janicejohnson3143]

They are cowards

[@JustVita73]

They are definitely cowards.

[@meekmeek8198]

Be grateful that they're not 'chasing' you because they won't change. They have a new supply and they need someone to feed into their games. Take your winnings and keep it moving.

[@jenniferburton7044]

THIS 🙌

[@11purpledream7]

although I know that, I still somewhat "fear" the next one will get treated better, or the way I wished/hoped for and that it just will mean I was a placeholder and not the right one (or just a reaction to my behavior, although he never reacted emotionally mature) ..

[@Wise556]

Narcissist don’t want chase because they don’t want put any effort or energy, they scared of rejection. Narcissist don’t love you or care enough to chase you. They want you to chase you.

[@robertabaker1958]

I needed this!! It's the absolute truth

[@jericaleigh]

You mean “them”?

[@allthingsjana7870]

That's exactly it

[@starlingswallow]

My ex narc showed up at my parents with roses after I left while he was out of town. RED ROSES. Then he came by to talk to my parents and begged them for info on what he could do to get me back and then BLAMED me all in the same breath! WTF?!? But that was it. After that he didn't chase. I'm so grateful. ❤ I'm now remarried to an amazing, healthy man who has been lovingly consistent for the past 6 years. Not ONCE has he yelled at me, raged, lied, manipulated, scared me, road raged, or neglected me. ❤ Good people are out there! My husband is also a victim of narc abuse (his father) so we understand what we have both been through on a level others don't understand. Sometimes fellow survivors make the best spouses/partners! ❤❤❤

[@amikirotmartha6064]

Wawoo what a blessing to be married to such kind of aman. I tap the blessing

[@vnosike]

@@Evermore2017 I think it’s because narcissists do emotional damage…

[@desertangelfish140]

Sweet story of Hope! 💕

[@mermaid78]

He keeps quiet,I keep quiet... He ghosts,I ghost... If he expects me to chase him,he will be waiting a looooooong time as that's not gonna happen!

[@MentalHealness]

he still have access?

[@mermaid78]

@@MentalHealness well blocking him would mean I care so much so...

[@tishaturner8079]

Got that right

[@jericaleigh]

@@mermaid78yea I realized this later on

[@allthingsjana7870]

This is exactly what mine did and I have put an end to it by not chasing.

[@dionburns3844]

Narcissist or not, if the relationship is over, why would anybody chase? It's over.

[@MentalHealness]

💯

[@briannaennis876]

Easier said but I’m working on it.

[@ctt7971]

They want you back so they can abuse you all over again and discard . It’s in their nature

[@janicejohnson3143]

In a perfect world, that should be the case but they (Narc) will keep tabs or do things to disrupt your life. Mine definitely tries to antagonize me and I'm no contact. People will do what they want. Life

[@mellymelle860]

You do NOT WANT TO BE CHASED! I was stalked and had to runaway from my own dam0 house! That I was paying for. This was two years ago. I’m on anxiety meds and in therapy and this relationship ended TWO YEARS AGO. I am triggered everyday. It’s exhausting.

[@cincyfanjunglecity9871]

It is crazy how they feel the need to reject when they feel love. They push away the ones who loves them the most to protect themselves, but they wouldn’t have to worry about the fear of rejection if they actually knew what love is and kept the good ones in their life.

[@tequilajohnson4772]

OH MY GOD EXACTLY CORRECT ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Ashleepaige85]

Exactly ❤ but there just selfish 😢

[@cincyfanjunglecity9871]

@@Ashleepaige85 you got that right. Most self centered selfish people I’ve ever met

[@adrianetta72]

Just to selfish for there own good.

[@nursejackie4454]

By the time u have the strength to leave they know you have figured them out and they can’t face the shame.

[@MentalHealness]

😭

[@annstar2793]

If they see you are willing to assert some boundaries, they may feel like it’s not worth the effort, esp. when they have other people who are happily drinking the Kool Aide.

[@ajairobinson7637]

THIS!!!

[@rochelletheriault650]

Exactly!

[@c4m774]

Be thankful if they don’t come back. Take your time and heal and never be near anyone else who’s toxic. Stay blessed yall

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾

[@queenb3088]

Exactly. It's a blessing if they leave you alone.

[@exemplarypersonality6562]

@@queenb3088 for real???? But we feel so much pain.... sometimes, we just need that closure

[@NatzTalk]

Yeah fuck that. I never had so much drama and toxicity since my childhood; It doesn't come close to that but its toxic none the less. I love peace and I wanna be appreciated and loved for me, not yelled at, not berated, not verbally abused, not second guessing myself. THIS is what I remind myself when I think of breaking no contact. I'm good.💛💪🏾😍 Stay safe y'all. 💪🏾💛

[@deselby6669]

NatzTalk…Yes ..everything you said..well said!!!

[@maninthewild-bitterpill1078]

🎯

[@ilovemytube2010]

Congratulations!!🎉❤

[@ashshaunts6989]

Hang in there girl going thru the same after 4 yrs I let him live here with me n my children the mask feel off 3 yrs ago n he'll since... Goodbye n yup don't chase me to get rejected lol

[@lt3074]

💯

[@Annie-ol3jx]

Be grateful that they don't come back!!! Move on with your life and be happy!

[@mistypena3056]

Reason number four… They think they’re better than you.

[@clintonnagy1662]

No doubt. They are stubborn and too proud to chase you even when they are wrong. I knew when my ex didn't contact me she was onto a new supply...and damnit...I was right. 2 weeks later saw her out with her ex boyfriend. I hate being right.

[@sharongomes7219]

Chase me to get rejected because he knows I know! He's not that stupid!

[@angelika5622]

💯

[@Catina-jz1tp]

🎯

[@ClaraBrown-o2o]

Exactly

[@TerrenceScott-it2zb]

@@sharongomes7219 exactly!!

[@latricehankerson3777]

His playing silent is the perfect opportunity to realize how peaceful my life is without him and to remember all the hell I endured. Peace ✌️ By the time he come back around I’m gonna be squeaky clean and brand new.

[@jericaleigh]

Yep!!

[@peacebalancetruth]

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🎯

[@TheSeekeroftruth1]

Exactly, if you chase them, that ERASES everything that they have done.

[@doglover5519]

WOW I never knew that!!! I'm staying NC!!!

[@lorrainethomas1984]

He’s right they will give up but that doesn’t mean YEARS later they won’t try again. We have to show them better than we can tell them though ✌🏾

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾

[@yowhatupmain]

They lying to themselves that the new supply is as good or better they lying to themselves deep down they lossst

[@taraarrington2285]

They usually downgrade.

[@stuarttacey]

@@taraarrington2285 My narc ex returned to a previous supply who both her and her family described as a "complete asshole" 😂😂 He's also a narc.

[@ClaraBrown-o2o]

Weakest one of his supply for his needs.

[@taraarrington2285]

It's a whole sadist/ masochist thing. They figure we must like pain so we'll be back for more.

[@heathertjaden756]

Bingo! That's totally it!!

[@scarletroseechos5690]

Their dumb founded, very complex creatures who contradict themselves on a regular basis 🫡

[@staciacrick3373]

They think you are dumb and deserve what you get because they have been abusive and you return. They absolve themselves of any responsibility

[@mortischahicks5341]

No Contact! No Contact! No Contact!

[@checkmate2408]

And BLOCK on EVERYTHING FOREVER

[@rosemaryrogers1478]

They don’t chase you cause they busy chasing somebody or something else🔥..point blank

[@jericaleigh]

Yup. They have another option to feed their ego or give them what they need. Lol

[@rosemaryrogers1478]

@@jericaleigh so they think🔥🔥

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@jericaleigh exactly!!!

[@shawny979]

Yeah, until they break up. "New Supply" is not new forever.

[@allthingsjana7870]

Or it's so you chase them

[@Whateverbaylie]

I have to watch a video of yours daily right now just to get me through this time, but you have helped me so much. You are such a gift to me my favorite coach you speak to my soul thank you, thank you ❤

[@kp4636]

I felt that I needed to watch videos daily for like a month. It helped me to remember why I was doing what I was doing even when it hurt. Now, I feel like I can do, feel, and watch other things. When you’re ready, you should look up Dry Bar Comedy. It will bring a smile to your face that you might have forgotten. Stay strong! ❤

[@Mira-gu6we]

Dude. I respect you. You are self aware and choose to help folks and make money from it. This is a positive way of handling things. So many narcs are just destruction machines. You choose to make something positive out of it.

[@Verydemureverycutesie]

Some of them think you are beneath them so they got what they wanted and left… they’ll ghost and it’s the most amazing relief. They are sooo draining!

[@doglover5519]

Mine ghosted me a month ago. I've just ghosted back. I'm not playing the game!! I hope he's miserable!!!!

[@One-Of-One_01]

They know you've seen them for the cowards that they are, thats why they don't chase....you don't want them, you are not coming back, and they know it.

[@cathyferran7291]

The narc tells on themselves and it cracks me up, so I don't have to care anymore

[@MentalHealness]

💯

[@angelandrews2276]

They want control over a person that is why the ego gets in the way ❤❤

[@MentalHealness]

♥️

[@allthingsjana7870]

And want a 'submissive woman'

[@venuspsychicmasseuse]

So weird how rejection is their offensive decision whenever they feel love, a chance where someone won't reject them BUT when narc rejects them LovedOne will most likely reject back

[@JasonMontell2501]

What??

[@lolxd9396]

Lee, all I understand and learnt so far in my life is, you can't make someone you love to stay, if that person does not want to stay! So for the peace of your mind, it is best to let them go and move on. Thank you Lee 🙏☺

[@sindymendez1359]

Narcissist are a waste of time an energy, coming from experience of being with a narc for 4 years and what i realize is that the relationship was what it was an illusion based on faulty false intentions on behalf of the narc and im so blessed for that experience knowing that im better off without that person, i gained a lesson and now im a different woman because of that relationship 😊❤️🙏🏽

[@Bella-Luna777]

I find it funny, that they discard you, but expect you to chase them. They constantly stalk and keep tabs on you, calling from unknown numbers just to hear you breathe lol they’re straight up delusional 😂

[@hardworkingblue-im4qq]

I'm going to keep it 100 a lot of them need to take their medication a lot of them need to see a doctor who have a degree a pH degree in helping people with mental health illness

[@NatzTalk]

There isn't medication for NPD....

[@Payday-ky7mb]

They can’t in any way lie to you anymore. They might end up getting physically hurt by you or others. They have nothing to offer you. My opinion and mine only.

[@MentalHealness]

💯

[@HuberAllOver]

I left after 4 months cause I got my solid proof she was messing with other people. Anyway, she would say something you mention alot and it’s so wild. She would say, “If it’s that bad why would my husband of 13 years stay?” I’m so shook. So disrespectful. On the other hand now realizing he might not be the issue. He should take it upon himself to leave after 13 years of abuse. I know it’s hard but after a certain amount of time you can’t play the victim card.

[@lafawnbelle4059]

He left clues that he wanted me to chase him but instead I went on with my life and so far I haven't seen or heard anything from him but why do I have a nagging feeling that he's just going to pop up at any time

[@SavySentient]

Definitely left little things after I kicked him out, probably hoping I'd call or text like "here's your bookmark!"😂😂😂

[@howdydocowgirlcowgirl181]

Definitely a possibility. Mine did a handful of times. The last time, I called the cops. They came to me, I explained the situation (he was drunk off his ass, what's new, & screaming at me, threatening suicide, gurgling, etc) & he tried to call me again so one of the cops answered my phone & asked him what the hell was he doing?! 😂

[@rachelb4235]

Make sure your no contact is strong. Keep him blocked. Or better yet, change your number and limit your social media as much as possible. HG Tudor says a narcissist can come back at any time because you will always be seen as a possession. Gotta make sure when they do try (notice I said when and not if), you aren't aware.

[@ajairobinson7637]

Bc he is

[@ClaraBrown-o2o]

Yup and our job is to keep the door shut!

[@kishiabell5744]

"New supply" = next victim.

[@MentalHealness]

🎯

[@shunda-uk6hb]

My ex narcissist knew I was done with him because he knew he put me through a lot. His exact words to me the last time he saw me was,"Why does it feel like I'm not going to see you again when you leave?" Afraid of him acting out, I said I'll be back. Even though I believe he already had a new supply (which he did) because I caught him, I reached out to me for 2 months before realizing I'm done

[@northerngaltrue]

So smart sir! You have the playbook. This is EXACTLY spot on. I lived it. Thank you for the window into the narcissist mind. Because the N is also VERY secretive you really have no idea what their true thought process is. You’ve helped me understand what happened! Thank you!!

[@stephd2024]

The word "narcissists" has been thrown around so much that i realized just how uneducated to the term i was. My 6yr relationship just ended a month ago, the way he broke up with me was the craziest thing ive ever been through. The first 2 weeks i literally was losing my mind trying to figure out what happened. Every. Single. Excuse he used to break up with me was EVERY. SINGLE. THING. Hes done to me and put me through over the years. I never once thought this man could ever treat me the way he did breaking up with me. I was mind blown. Yet, a month later him and i are still living together bc "he needs to save money first to move" and its the absolute most uncomfortable situation i have ever been in, in my life. I stay to myself, quiet, mind my business. He drags my name thru the mud to everyone and the married woman he's moved onto, and i still stay quiet, to myself, stay respectful purposely so he gets nothing else to use to twist and tell to continue to play the victim. Its not necessarily the breakup bothering me bc ive known for awhile how i was treated wasnt right, its the total disrespect, no care, straight lies from someone i never once thought or saw it coming. Makes me feel embarrassed, humiliated. Your videos are what gets me through this so i know how to play his game until he finally leaves. I do constantly ask him when hes leaving so he gets a reminder my mind hasnt changed on that, but he absolutely does try and bait me, throw me crumbs in hopes i fall for it so he can give me the same breakup speech all over again. The things i go through in my own home is truly sick. I just want it to be over and move on in my life. I look at this man completely different now, so much that even if he did what needs to be done to better himself for our relationship, i dont think ill ever be able to look at him how i once did, ever again. So it's definitely over on my end. You just cant get anything serious out of someone with this mental illness to do the same. To know i legit wasted 6 whole years of my life for no reason.....so very disappointing. The things i could have been doing in that time, or even half that time had i not been so naive and easy to forgive and keep going. Id like to think my life gets better, while he falls on his face, but they know how to live without being bothered. im probably the only one who's had the patience and unconditional love to put up with him like i did. Our relationship was the longest one hes ever been in. This. This is what ruins people. I pray everyday i stay who i am, but this is tough. The toughest by far.

[@Georgiapeach-fo7lt]

I’m currently dealing with the same thing and it’s been 6 years his excuse for not leaving is he need time to have the money to leave I honestly think they don’t leave because that don’t want you to be happy they love to think you are losing your mind without them and that’s so not true

[@stephd2024]

@@Georgiapeach-fo7lt him and I both went emotionally cut off in our relationship, I think that's why it even lasted as long as it did. Relationship was easy with neither having/showing emotions...I honestly figured our relationship would come to an end, I just never ever thought it would have been a discard like he did...he could have totally just been like hey, it's not working out...and I would have wished him well, and sent him on. It was insane to see, and realize just what kind of person I've been with all these years. His first was he he'll be out in 4/5 months bc he needed to find a place and save the money for it, and I understood, so I WAS ok with it....but the longer we live together like this, the more I realize and catch on to just how much of a narc he truly is, I'm definitely not ok with it anymore. I want him out ASAP. He makes the money to easily move out. Easily. I'm such a horrible person, why would they not go when they have all the means they need to do it...doesn't make sense to me. So all I can think is....he doesn't want to fully leave me until he has for sure secured his new supply and makes sure it's going to work out, or he hasn't yet gotten the new supply to the point of moving in together yet...that's all I can think. I'm ready to move on, be alone and do me, and if I say anything to him about like hey, you found a place yet?...it's like he'll purposely slow ay even more. He knows what he had being with me, so I could see it hard leaving that..we might have been emotionally shut off to each other, but we did take care of one another for the most part and was stable in majority of other areas, hardly ever argued or fought...it's just crazy how you go from knowing someone so well, to now you can't figure out their everyday routine anymore bc they've switched up so crazy. I'm not perfect by any means, but I definitely do not do the things he does thru this discard phase mess.

[@johannaalexander2009]

"Manufacture a break-up" In employment they train managers to do "Constructive Dismissal" tactics to get rid of certain employees for various reasons by making their work life difficult. I wonder what type person came up with that!!!?

[@angelandrews2276]

They will stalk you at your job,home,online ,by phone or get other people to stalk watch you too!!❤❤

[@MentalHealness]

🎯🎯🎯

[@jericaleigh]

My ex doesn’t do that. He just moves on.

[@MissModernprincess]

@@jericaleigh so you think!

[@philryan7258]

Wow, makes sense for, some situations, I delt with

[@claudiaibanez3983]

I left him 2 years ago. We have been going back n forth for this long. Each time I ended it. But the final discard he ended it. Why? Because I started setting boundaries and sticking to them. His last words to me were it's not going to work because you will always try to control me. lol. All I did was set boundaries, it works it really does. 😂 I know I'm laughing now but trust me the trauma bond is real.

[@MentalHealness]

🤭

[@jericaleigh]

And I’m sure your boundaries were valid & reasonable

[@VanillaDream25]

Good on you ! It takes real strength to move on but you do cuz you know if you don't, you will die figuratively ! They are body/mind snatchers !

[@katherineschule5719]

I heard absolutely the same words unbelievable

[@Oceansgreen]

@@claudiaibanez3983 same here, discarded after 37 years because I put my foot down… and yes, the trauma bond is real!!

[@vinnelthomas6396]

Wow! A mouth full. I discard mine, then he acts like he discarded me. I ignored him. Then the curse words came in when I refused to answer my phone when he called. That made him so mad and irate . I would just laugh

[@notjustaprettyface]

Same lol they're something else! He was such a waste of 2 years and I'm so mad at myself for not leaving sooner.

[@MentalHealness]

🤭

[@checkmate2408]

This. I broke up with mine. Then got an email 2 weeks later saying she was never coming back and I would need to live with the consequences! Um... then when I told her I was blocking her and never wanted to speak with her again... 60+ phone calls over the next hour from Google #s and texts cursing at me. Then suddenly 1 month later she is posting everywhere on social media of her new bf "love doing life with you❤" Um... psycho! I have her blocked but a friend creeped and saw it and told me. Of course, the new bf is a "friend" I caught her lying about a year earlier. I just laughed and said I have her blocked, never tell me another update on this demon because I don't care!

[@Sheisme120]

I’d never thought of the fact that some people hoover themselves back into bad relationships. Very true!

[@danif2604]

He tried a little check in text, that was completely ignored. He knows I know he is a narcissist. This was the first time I caught the covert narcissist and I am grateful that my situation did not last for longer then the almost 5 yr relationship. His ex wife chased him for years. Not me! He can literally keep it moving!

[@apex11177]

Good for you! He would love for you to chase him just so he can reject you. Why does that level of crazy have to exist?!??

[@Carolinekatongo]

It a shame.what miserable souls they r

[@sunflowerrayne6026]

I can't believe you even used the word "checked in" mine literally text me after ghosting all cool saying "I was just checking on you"

[@sweetoneloves6811]

It will never happen, as long as I ignore and act as if that fool never existed in my life??? It's driving him NUTS. NO CONTACT. I moved on with my life, joined a gym, reducing weight and I'm happy as a Lark. time to move on.

[@shadowcollins4589]

Thank you for bringing this out. I love that you bring out your experience on both sides I love that you have no shame about saying you needed years of therapy to understand that you were a narcissist Thank you so much because a lot of people don't know what this is and what toxic people are like If I would have seen the signs in my ex-husband, I would not have stayed married to him for 15 years. I have a lot of mental trauma from him and basically 5 mental illnesses caused by him where I needed years of therapy and where I needed hospitalization and I need meds he really messed me up and if I would have seen the signs and known what gaslighting and narcissists were, I would have not been as mentally traumatized

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏾

[@cloudwalkerme7]

That was my ex. I saw the flags. I reasoned them out. I truly wanted to give him a deeper life, happiness & connection. I gave his unemotional self space and loved him with my tender heart, I think I hoped I’d properly reach him, improve his life. He wasn’t perfect, I knew it, and chose him anyway. I would have stuck with him, but he needed to be honest and real enough to help himself. We made some progress. I know he felt a safety with me he’d not had before. But the switch that would flick in a heartbeat, getting treated like an enemy..feeling great & connected and safe one second then he’d flip over a sentence, a word, and just not be the same person. It seemed like he felt I was competition, not his solid person. And like he only could stand to see me happy sometimes, and on his terms. I’m grateful for him, I learned so much about myself, but gutted, and duped as well. I think I knew at one point, but I thought maybe we could make it. I would have been his solid, till the mask dropped and kept dropping and I could see our actual future. It wasn’t pretty.

[@mashtube2024]

I understand your feelings and i truly empathize. I went through a similar experience with my ex who was a narc. I used to tolerate his tantrums like a mother, but eventually, i became completely drained and established boundaries. I was exhausted from constantly taking care of an adult. Now, i desire a balanced relationship where i can receive care and support too.

[@nellth7136]

Im glad there's ppl like you out here Lee Hammock ❤you have a huge heart and knowledge is power

[@ilovethe70z18]

They ne-ver lost or left that supply! They had them in the cut all alone ...

[@WillNeviani]

Sad really isn't it that a narc would rather be alone than fight for the one they had but then again narcs don't feel love like a normal person and that's what typifies the attachment disorder.

[@richardhenry886]

If a narcissist comes back its because the new supply either dropped them or is not you. But just know they come back because they are hurt and miserable, and they are coming back to destroy you.🎉 Be safe, people.

[@richardsfe]

Because he's busy chasing the other two,three or more options!

[@AliceLytle]

Lee, can you share why often narcissists don’t share anything going on in their lives? Or the ones who do share something about their lives, and then we share something similar going on in our lives, they give dead pan, non emotional, non personal, non caring responses? Thank you for another great message!

[@Z-gg3fc]

You just described my ex narcissistic to a T. He never even asked me how my day is. Wait.. actually he asked me once during the time we were together. I would always ask how his day went and tell him to have a good day. He never once asked how is work? He didn’t even know where I worked for a long time because he never asked me. I never felt like I could open up to him with anything private. He shared something with me about his childhood and I listened and responded with empathy. He complained about his ex and I supported him in that. Other than this he didn’t get into any deep conversations. The only thing he was good at is being affectionate and he kissed a lot. He loved kissing.

[@AliceLytle]

@@Z-gg3fc that exactly describes a typical narcissist because it’s always about them and they have to stay centerstage and remain in the limelight. I befriended someone who was new to the area last year because I felt sorry for her loneliness. She claimed to have moved to my town to get away from her narcissistic husband who she wanted to divorce. Now a year or two later, I can see that she was the covert narcissist actually. She never once asked how I was or what was going on in my life or my family and if she ever did hear me share something, she gave dead pan responses. She went away for a month in the summer,& so I checked in on her. Yet she never asked how I was. This is the world of the narcissist. It’s always about them. We are the givers and they are the takers. If we are an empath or a good listener, we will attract narcissists. Until we develop more self love, as Lee Hammock and Ross Rosenberg describe. I’m so sorry for your sufferings.

[@nilaja-itsmylife]

I had to leave because I was tired of being a receptacle for his projected shadow side 😒 🚮

[@MentalHealness]

😮‍💨

[@Treasurehuntingmania]

They won’t chase you, they will just leave you clues that they want you back by leaving stuff at your house or sending text messages like hey or leaving stuff on your car or contacting you from fake accounts, what a bunch of a holes

[@MentalHealness]

some wont'

[@sparklingloveandlight]

The fake accouts are endless, lol. Love ya ​@@MentalHealness

[@jericaleigh]

Some won’t do anything at all lol

[@pennilw5118]

Wow this explains so much

[@exleyley6106]

It's just so sad they need other people to fill their void while unknowingly or knowingly hurting and draining their supply and themselves in the process, because they know they're not going to be happy, it's all just for high and a temporary fix. they're so afraid of vulnerability it's seen as a weakness, vulnerability is strength, as someone diagnosed with BPD, I understand why they're doing this, because I'm so close of getting in the same patterns, and also looking to keep filling the void, luckily I get myself checked and changing that. I still feel sorry for these types of people, they need help, but they need to help themselves first..

[@fayecooper9623]

He was doing all three to me it was a nightmare a year with the chaos was so mentally stressful, he favorite thing to do to me was make me look like i was some jealous weirdo the last straw was him dedicating a love to one of our friends at the bar and then strarting a fight with me when i tild him that hurt me he embarrassed me in public after calling me several bad names it was the end for me! I finally left it was a bitter fight as i bottled up a lot through the course of a year of him trying to make me think it was all me. When i finally told him off, he told me if i didn't like it to leav, so I did! We had severalbreakupss within the first year it was truly a nightmare! Im glad my heart is done and my mind is healing. My anger is better! Thank you for your channel. It's helping me have a better understanding of what i was dealing with!

[@Anna_Martinez-t1z]

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. It’s helped me connect the dots on how to navigate away from the situation.

[@FEMMESICAL]

When I left him he said: “Remember you’re the one who left, not me.”😂

[@tinajeppesen5948]

Mine said that every time (3 break ups, this one’s final, I’m sad but free) ya wonder whyyyy…. Mines bipolar so it’s really sad. He *gets* narcissism BAD in a “cycle” & I finally put it all together. Reading about bipolar one is like reading a bio of my husband. Tried hospitalization this time. He refuses help. Correlation between bipolar & narcissism is extremely interesting & lightbulbs went OFF.

[@reginayfavors]

Narc Nuggets: A Mental Healness Podcast. T-shirt worthy. Merch, etc. Great video.

[@peacebalancetruth]

😋🤌🏾

[@GPDuchess]

Nah, it's the devil in the shape of chicken nuggets😂; Freudian slip i love😂; both irresistible and bad for you😂

[@kaylamarie373]

Nothing i did was ever good enough. He was always pushing me away because he wanted me to chase him and PROVE how much i care. So ridiculous. 😐

[@domeatown]

Of all the toxic traits to be having, man, the one where you expect people to chase you is IT, dawg. I've said it before and I'll say it again... After eons of hoovering and guilt trips and tirades, the not-hooverers are the absolute BEST. If you gotta be toxic, expecting to be pursued is the one way where you aren't taking anyone's agency, and you still get to pout and have your toxic moment. And also I got free!

[@irenehurtig266]

And you forget them quicker then a croc.

[@aimeepritchard9767]

Yes because we will call them out and drain them. Lol lol. That's why my ladst guy left. Because he couldn't manipulate me or control me.

[@airbornecruzer3787]

Wow! This is the first time I have heard someone with NPD speak about it. You are awesome.

[@TRUTHSPEAKER-888]

Omg 😮where was this info 1 year and 1/2 ago! Im out💯Thank goodness its a short time and not 10 years in🎉

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

People, Lee is right. The reverse Hoover exists. The other day a flying monkey was trying to manipulate me into calling the narcissist. I didn’t. I blocked her too. I want to thank all the narcissists that don’t hoover. It is a blessing.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Beauty-n-Brain-1]

They’ll leave then come back as if nothing happened

[@yvonnelygo681]

Leaving you confused.

[@Beauty-n-Brain-1]

@@yvonnelygo681 i don’t be confused there’s nothing to be confused about

[@ladyvics25]

They know you won’t take them back so their supply is gone so they won’t bother.

[@shawny979]

Right.. 👏

[@sarahjones6443]

They do chase you. They be doing plenty in the backroom like asking questions about you from anyone you know including the bus driver, doctor or store clerk. They never let you go they think they own the person. And yes they constantly stalk you or have other people do their dirty work 😢😢

[@huyghemallorie4909]

I am one ? I was cheated on and I reacted

[@erynd2524]

I don’t want them in my life anymore. What they do is what they do. I don’t care about what happens to them or what they do.

[@Sebrinawilliams67]

They will get a new supply regardless if you're married or not. They don't value you or a marriage.

[@debmccafferty1007]

He blew us up so badly, my family and friends asked me to never speak to him again. And I didn't.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@bam8039]

I remember you saying when their emotional lightbulb goes out, it isn't coming back on!

[@DianeLindenberger]

OR THEY MIGHT BE GAY AND ACT LIKE THEY ARE NOT.......

[@JasonMontell2501]

When they tell you that they would absolutely HATE a big juicy cock in their mouth and that there is just no way they would ever begin to salivate over the thought of having a nice rock hard veiny dick down their throat while a freshly shaved plump set of balls slap against their chin... They might be lying

[@tonyad.eggleston8793]

They will clap any & all cheeks. #Pan sexual

[@JessMariaDwyer]

Or bisexual. They have LGBQT hook up apps on their phones.

[@JFish-df2ep]

Yep. I got that one.

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

I'm glad they don't chase me... I don't feel like going to prison!

[@g.d.9619]

😂

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

@@g.d.9619 🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kacibeaverwestbrook1744]

I think he wants me to chase him. No contact all day yesterday. Then today he calls. I missed the call I called back no answer. He's in rehab right now. He didn't have service for the first 2wks he was there. But changed his phone service so he could call me. I think he's beginning to know all his supply ain't better than me. Im a total empath. And I've taken care of people my whole life. I can handle this narc shit. Especially now that I know and understand the mind game. I really think he's seeing I was the best. Been being the best. He keeps trying to keep me connected with his family while he's not here.

[@SoultanicalsTube]

If you called him back then he is aware that he still has a hold on you! There is no ‘handling’ a narcissist. Staying away completely (no contact at all) is the answer!

[@Slimnbonez]

When they spin the block and hoover you. Tell them you are not worthy and they deserve better. Degrade yourself to them and move along. It works

[@deezsugah]

They will chase on the sneak! They don’t want you to discard them. 😮

[@nji7772]

The hate the truth and being called on their total lack of responsibility for ANYTHING.

[@MentalHealness]

🙌🏾🎯🎯

[@mznayduzallinthelifeofnanc8935]

So true, I’m experiencing it now but he don’t think I know.

[@7babi3]

After years of struggling I am alone and free and peaceful! So I tend now to avoid videos about toxic relationships, but this one made me laugh out loud! 😂 It is soooo accurate. I still feel affection for “my” toxic one, like for a kid, really, but have to stay far. Months ago I contacted him for some personal serious problem. 5 hours phone call “we must keep calling each other, do not disappear! Yeah there’s this one, but she knows I am not in love, everybody knows… but I soo much miss talking to someone who understands me and doesn’t always smile and say yes!” (BTW I am sure he went to his always ready ex as soon as I found the strength to break up). He then started changing profile picture every now and then and being silent 😂 I do sincerely miss him and our jokes, a lot, but no way I am going to get trapped again. And yes, I know he’s asking to be chased. Enjoyable and useful content, thank you!

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Single the new 2024 I can do bad all by myself 😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉Ty Jesus

[@kirjoy991]

Appreciate your honesty given your transparency on the description of your purported psych diagnosis'. It's nice to hear a very candid response to why narc would intentionally use people and create false narratives. If I may, you seem like a genuine guy. Probably heavily influenced by your peers growing up, maybe gotten a lot of admiration because of your charisma, sweet talk, looks, dreads, manliness, athleticism. I know, validation feels good. Perhaps a tough backstory from childhood too. Not totally sure on all those diagnosis. ..I don't believe in a lot of psych diagnosing, people have free will and intent how they act or think. How we are raised plays a big part and parents involvement. There are ppl who are truly mentally ill and definite personality types out there as well. Maybe you have those traits. I think we all have some, but it's the will and intent, that showup. Narcs and others.I think you're someone original for who you are down deep, not by how you once were. You seem tender and may have found more purpose in life other than chasing or creating relationships, I applaud you for sharing. It's enlightening. Keep sharing, to expose the pain people with Narcissistic traits cause truly caring people is helpful. Keep going to be your genuine self that God made. My daughter told me, all that really matters in life is: we will be judged on how we treat others and our relationship with God. Peace and love

[@avisboris1634]

Mine won't chase me again for 3 reasons. I don't have anything left to offer, I call him out all the time, and I'm sick and would actually require his help on a daily basis which he refuses to do.

[@Life_with_gratitude]

So true, my two ex narcissistic boyfriends never chased me after the break up.

[@rashidarowe7882]

I ended it and he chased me while being in a whole new relationahip 2 months later and he expected me to be ok with being the side piece..imagine that.

[@TashaBabi16]

I hovered myself in an effort to “co parent” with the narcissist. My life has fallen apart because of this. His new supply got me fired, they neglected our child, and villainized me for going full mama bear on their asses

[@adotrose]

I just went through the same.

[@OnlyMePlus2]

This is so true….. I’m still a mess. I’m really working on it.

[@Hazelnut3988]

You're right they want you to chase them n thats too much n they won't leave you alone too fast cause they want u to want them n will eventually discard you because they have a new supply that they can manipulate n thats easier for them but be grateful if you discarded best thing that could happen to you n live your best life

[@shawny979]

Right.. But, sometimes they do test the waters with you.

[@shawny979]

They're with the new supply, but thinking of you. It's sick and weird.