Merkules - ''DEMONS'' (Official Video)

  Рет қаралды 4,890,527

Young Merkules

Young Merkules

3 жыл бұрын

From the new album Apply Pressure
Stream: Merkules.lnk.to/DemonsID
Shop merch: merkulesmusic.com/merch
Directed by Stuey Kubrick
Produced by C-Lance & Aaron Hiltz
Mixed by Nato Down
Mastered by Terry Tran
Makeup by Dallas Harvey
Model Shae Mcmanus
Demon Scott Monk
Intro:
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
What the fuck am I to do?
What the fuck am I to do?
What the fuck am I to do?
What the fuck am I to do?
When there's nothin' left...
Cause I don't wanna feel shit, someone must've hit a kill switch
They don't ask about the problems that I deal with
Fuck all of this money you can have it I don't feel rich
I keep havin' these flashbacks I hate 'em
They remind me of my problems, I can't stand to face 'em
I know it's prolly my last to change 'em
But even if I do it my past can't erase it
They recognize me 'cause they see me on the internet
They think I owe 'em somethin' I can't deal with all the disrespect
Sick to my stomach, when I feel it I just disconnect
My demons tend get the best of me when I get depressed
I've been stabbed in the back with a chainsaw
But who am I to blame y'all, I'm smokin 'til the pain's gone
You see me smilin on the surface tryna stay strong
Actin' like I'm happy starts to feel like it's my day job
But just as long as there's a purpose to it all
I'll keep tourin workin' hard, writin verses to these songs
Far from perfect, every person has their flaws
And mine is I'm an addict still searchin for a cause
I know they judge me for mistakes that I've made
Since I've gained all this fame shit just ain't been the same
I came in the game to pave a lane for my name
And it's painful to say it put's restraints on my brain but
I know it's worth it cause I get to tell my story
I'm at a point where the industry can't ignore me
I never had the main stream media to endorse me
I did this all by me and myself and y'all are corny
To every kid that's listenin to this song
I hope you've found the message I've written within it all
If no one's ever there to pick you up when you fall
I promise you're not alone, play this shit and just hit the wall 'cause
I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
I know you listenin' for somethin' to relate to
I know the feelin' like the whole world hates you
I know you wishin' you could finally have a breakthrough
You thought it was a phase so you pretend you're in a great mood
I know it hurts to see reflections of yourself
'Cause the person that you see is not like everybody else
So you try and you try but it never seems to help
So you're questionin' your words 'cause you're so fed up with the guilt
But...
You're not the only one that's goin' through regret
You're not the only one that no one seems to get
You're not the only one that's so close to the edge
And if you slip it's over for you so you cope with it instead
I can promise you that nobody is perfect and you overthink the little shit you're always so concerned with
So you lock yourself inside everynight and close the curtains
And you're screamin' out loud but it's like no one even heard it
I know problems keep pilin' up right in front of you
So much anxiety inside you don't know what to do
Been lied to so much you that you don't think you even want the truth
Fuck it, aww you grew to be used it, it ain't nothin' new
I been there too, just hold tight
A lot of substance abuse and long nights
But next time I see all my demons it's on sight
Next time I see all my demons it's on sight yeah....
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin'
I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons
They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret

Пікірлер: 3 300
@JellyRoll
@JellyRoll 3 жыл бұрын
I felt this in my soul- when he said “a lot of substance abuse and long nights “ I felt that- So happy for you Merk- this song is incredible
@saraackermann9793
@saraackermann9793 3 жыл бұрын
The Canadian twin tour jelly 💋😂
@MrLepley
@MrLepley 3 жыл бұрын
Jelly Roll for sure!!!
@stephenpocock1257
@stephenpocock1257 3 жыл бұрын
Hey jelly!! Big fan of yours aswell stay safe bro
@debbiematthews6569
@debbiematthews6569 3 жыл бұрын
100%
@SynthVibeCollective
@SynthVibeCollective 3 жыл бұрын
Whoop Whoop Jelly!
@Meltymorty
@Meltymorty 3 жыл бұрын
Merkules is criminally underrated I haven't heard a bad song
@milowiosky4586
@milowiosky4586 3 жыл бұрын
Much agreed
@twiztid_gamer
@twiztid_gamer 3 жыл бұрын
I agree with you that Merk is legit, he's in my top 5 along with Tech, Jelly Roll, Chris Webby & Tom MacDonald, but he's got over a million subs on KZbin & probably over a million monthly streams on Spotify alone, not counting people like me who have KZbin Premium & use KZbin Music over Spotify, dudes far from underrated. I think what you mean is Merk, the others I named & many more that I didn't name deserve to be the mainstream played on the radio. Chris Webby on the other hand, that dude is criminally underrated, cause even though I'm sure his streaming numbers are just as well as any of the others, he has less than 400k subs on KZbin & he's an OG of the underground lyrical rappers, even though I don't agree with his far left politics, Webby deserves more recognition than that on KZbin
@milowiosky4586
@milowiosky4586 3 жыл бұрын
Have y'all ever herd of ak? Iamtherealak. Hes also extremely crimannly under rated. I listen to all of the rappers you just nammed and no one has herd or ak but he has also over a mil subs but no one knows his true tallent. I started listening to a k and merkules at the same time roughly about four years ago and they are my top two favorite rappers by far dax comes in a close third
@milowiosky4586
@milowiosky4586 3 жыл бұрын
Ps KZbin premium Rocks. Also my app for music
@MichaelRyanMusic
@MichaelRyanMusic 3 жыл бұрын
He works hard.
@Cody-stone19
@Cody-stone19 3 жыл бұрын
When he said "acting happy starts feeling like a day job" I got instant goose bumps. That's how you know this shit hits on a whole new level
@realmiddleclassfamily699
@realmiddleclassfamily699 3 жыл бұрын
Same
@TaylorLuna-fs9eo
@TaylorLuna-fs9eo 3 жыл бұрын
Real music real content 👌
@usmanwahab7716
@usmanwahab7716 3 жыл бұрын
true man .... it can get physically tiring at some point ... but it's a burden we decide to live with .....
@randyyates1112
@randyyates1112 3 жыл бұрын
Same thing I feel to man. His music is perfect
@justinwilson2767
@justinwilson2767 3 жыл бұрын
Some people don't understand
@jayfitmob8645
@jayfitmob8645 3 жыл бұрын
Dude I'm on my front porch right now in f****** tears. Thank you brother you have written my anthem.
@tammymariewhitetrashbeauti5256
@tammymariewhitetrashbeauti5256 Жыл бұрын
Love u guys ❤
@splsplice6647
@splsplice6647 3 жыл бұрын
When a man can see & speak to you and you've never even met. What a legend.
@SMAKSHADE
@SMAKSHADE 3 жыл бұрын
SPL Splice 🏆🏆🏆🏆
@upbeatja5160
@upbeatja5160 3 жыл бұрын
Here's the lyric video kzbin.info/www/bejne/eqqYYYBqar5-aqc
@tonythompson7472
@tonythompson7472 3 жыл бұрын
He is real and he shares his pain we just happened to feel it
@ianguy420
@ianguy420 3 жыл бұрын
@@tonythompson7472 this man is on another level than the rest. Not just Canadian rappers. I'm talking the globe.
@YoungMerkules
@YoungMerkules 3 жыл бұрын
Intro: I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret What the fuck am I to do? What the fuck am I to do? What the fuck am I to do? What the fuck am I to do? When there's nothin' left... Cause I don't wanna feel shit, someone must've hit a kill switch They don't ask about the problems that I deal with Fuck all of this money you can have it I don't feel rich I keep havin' these flashbacks I hate 'em They remind me of my problems, I can't stand to face 'em I know it's prolly my last to change 'em But even if I do it my past can't erase it They recognize me 'cause they see me on the internet They think I owe 'em somethin' I can't deal with all the disrespect Sick to my stomach, when I feel it I just disconnect My demons tend get the best of me when I get depressed I've been stabbed in the back with a chainsaw But who am I to blame y'all, I'm smokin 'til the pain's gone You see me smilin on the surface tryna stay strong Actin' like I'm happy starts to feel like it's my day job But just as long as there's a purpose to it all I'll keep tourin workin' hard, writin verses to these songs Far from perfect, every person has their flaws And mine is I'm an addict still searchin for a cause I know they judge me for mistakes that I've made Since I've gained all this fame shit just ain't been the same I came in the game to pave a lane for my name And it's painful to say it put's restraints on my brain but I know it's worth it cause I get to tell my story I'm at a point where the industry can't ignore me I never had the main stream media to endorse me I did this all by me and myself and y'all are corny To every kid that's listenin to this song I hope you've found the message I've written within it all If no one's ever there to pick you up when you fall I promise you're not alone, play this shit and just hit the wall 'cause I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret I know you listenin' for somethin' to relate to I know the feelin' like the whole world hates you I know you wishin' you could finally have a breakthrough You thought it was a phase so you pretend you're in a great mood I know it hurts to see reflections of yourself 'Cause the person that you see is not like everybody else So you try and you try but it never seems to help So you're questionin' your words 'cause you're so fed up with the guilt But... You're not the only one that's goin' through regret You're not the only one that no one seems to get You're not the only one that's so close to the edge And if you slip it's over for you so you cope with it instead I can promise you that nobody is perfect and you overthink the little shit you're always so concerned with So you lock yourself inside everynight and close the curtains And you're screamin' out loud but it's like no one even heard it I know problems keep pilin' up right in front of you So much anxiety inside you don't know what to do Been lied to so much you that you don't think you even want the truth Fuck it, aww you grew to be used it, it ain't nothin' new I been there too, just hold tight A lot of substance abuse and long nights But next time I see all my demons it's on sight Next time I see all my demons it's on sight yeah.... I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They been hauntin' my dreams and I can't think straight 'cause they won't stop screamin' I've been fallin' asleep with, all of my demons They keep talkin' to me but I can't tell 'em shit 'cause they can't keep a secret
@damienomen6167
@damienomen6167 3 жыл бұрын
Love when u do tracks like this cause I litterly feel this in my soul I fell it I've been there still sleep with some of my demons but ur music has always helped pull me out of such a dark place
@owen674
@owen674 3 жыл бұрын
Congrats on trending!
@misfitmike1952
@misfitmike1952 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you MERC for that . 🔥🔥🔥
@raenettatenorio780
@raenettatenorio780 3 жыл бұрын
Your a TRUE ICON I relate to you so much that your music is what I turn to when I feel shitty and it always soothes my soul❤💯 Thank you Merk😭I'm truly grateful for your Music
@handingloveif
@handingloveif 3 жыл бұрын
The equally beautiful and ugly minds we share.. Thanks for this Merk 🙏🤘
@brentberube5688
@brentberube5688 4 күн бұрын
Probably my favorite jam from this guy!
@erikaandjustinsweddingjour3531
@erikaandjustinsweddingjour3531 2 жыл бұрын
Merkules makes me proud to be Canadian, such a talented artist with the skills to send a real message from real experience. This dude is inspirational to a lot of people.
@jessien761
@jessien761 3 жыл бұрын
"Far from perfect every person has their flaws, mine is I'm just an addict still looking for a cause"
@trevincarroll5978
@trevincarroll5978 3 жыл бұрын
Whoever doesn’t like this song or understand the talent this guy has needs to learn a lesson about real music
@chuckthomas1369
@chuckthomas1369 3 жыл бұрын
facts!
@dachrivevo6843
@dachrivevo6843 3 жыл бұрын
What, so you mean cause i dont like this sad depressing Flow, i need a lesson about real music? Usually love merc but this Kinda beat and Flow and text dont rly mean anything to me
@uncledont.
@uncledont. 3 жыл бұрын
And you know what actual music is???
@Leveezy
@Leveezy 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHSbZZ6lgrSIpMk
@kingofcomments4832
@kingofcomments4832 3 жыл бұрын
This is the farthest thing from real music you will ever hear
@qthankful
@qthankful 3 жыл бұрын
This explains my life... Demon's everyday.. still fighting, standing tall.
@samdolan09
@samdolan09 3 жыл бұрын
Relate... Even after getting clean it doesn't leave your head.
@shirlayproductions7072
@shirlayproductions7072 3 жыл бұрын
Im an addict "amphetamines" continue to control my thoughts action and ultimately my fate ..13 yrs weed addiction and sex. 15 delivered my son nearly losing life. 19 nicotine begins.. Tried meth hated the shit. I thought thankgod. 23 yrs i failed myself my children my family the lords plan for me one year later no amount of lines can cure this pain. Thankyou to artist like you for allowing me to feel at all ... You are loved
@justinwilson2767
@justinwilson2767 3 жыл бұрын
You said it going thru some things it gets hard to fight the temptation
@Shadow-pv2ts
@Shadow-pv2ts 3 жыл бұрын
Just heading home from a 14 hour work day, this is definitely a great way to end it 😎
@alkaford6259
@alkaford6259 3 жыл бұрын
Same bro
@brewcrew0374
@brewcrew0374 3 жыл бұрын
Same I work 12s and this exactly the shit I needed to hear 🔥
@Leveezy
@Leveezy 3 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHSbZZ6lgrSIpMk
@the6oh365
@the6oh365 3 жыл бұрын
Jesus Gonzalez get a job
@Shadow-pv2ts
@Shadow-pv2ts 3 жыл бұрын
@Jesus Gonzalez nah man, I build Custom Furniture for a living 😂
@swayzierated6756
@swayzierated6756 3 жыл бұрын
who else has replayed this more than twice today?? 🔥🔥
@j_takasaki
@j_takasaki 3 жыл бұрын
Dude, its on replay since ive heard it, such a strong song
@doughagenphoto5072
@doughagenphoto5072 3 жыл бұрын
I'm on replay 7 this morning.
@baileymunro9116
@baileymunro9116 3 жыл бұрын
Hells ya 💙
@melissae4304
@melissae4304 3 жыл бұрын
On replay every day !! #no1song
@Agent-vj3ns
@Agent-vj3ns 3 жыл бұрын
Merk isn't one to put out songs just to be out there. Like Jelly Roll, his music deserves to be really listened to and absorbed.
@zachpushinsky8435
@zachpushinsky8435 Жыл бұрын
I relate so much to the second half of this song, I'm not an addict, but I struggle with PTSD, depression and anxiety on a daily basis. 😞💯
@mrfixer5091
@mrfixer5091 3 жыл бұрын
The flashbacks, anxiety and PTSD are all real struggles that the "norm" don't understand if they've never had to wrestle it to sleep. There isn't a day i get a break from any of the hell that haunts especially at night...I got this song on repeat bro because not to many rappers really know the deal! Getting ready for another shift and gotta get hyped to get through it & there ain't a better way than bangin out to my favorites! Appreciate the realness yo
@Leveezy
@Leveezy 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHSbZZ6lgrSIpMk
@crazywhiteboi4205
@crazywhiteboi4205 2 жыл бұрын
I was gonna say something along the same lines.. its crazy I don't even like to drink and I have been lately to stop the constant chest pains from anxiety. I can't even socialize without some sort of opiate/benzo/alcohol its crippling till the point of wanting to crawl out of my skin but I'm restless but also have no energy at the same time and can barely move and my family can't understand why I can't just stay sober and live my life without doing a major fumble.. good luck man
@blakewalrod8219
@blakewalrod8219 3 жыл бұрын
Every time he drop something its fire 🔥🔥
@Leveezy
@Leveezy 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHSbZZ6lgrSIpMk
@mINST973
@mINST973 3 жыл бұрын
Not only did merk go deep, Stuey Kubrick killed it with this one, holy shit!
@stephanieennis6505
@stephanieennis6505 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for writing this, so raw, so real. Love this song
@YTSirSweaty
@YTSirSweaty 3 жыл бұрын
Who's Here Before This Blows Up 👌
@mikeywhispers1588
@mikeywhispers1588 3 жыл бұрын
He's gonna stay independent. Hes put put out alot of songs that get millions of views and nobody signed him. They want that drug addict lil pump type lyrics to get signed or instead of KZbin he should flood sound cloud cuz that's another way dudes get signed
@brodylomax7601
@brodylomax7601 3 жыл бұрын
Merk never fails! This hit at the perfect time for everyone I swear!
@arzellasimmons1987
@arzellasimmons1987 3 жыл бұрын
I saw you on Dr. Phil offering your help to a young man, Noah. I'm a Christian snd may not support the Rap music, but I felt your "heart" during the show and wanted to say God bless you and may you continue to excel in your goals and in helping others. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@dncvipallday1598
@dncvipallday1598 3 жыл бұрын
Christians can enjoy rap!
@intellectualize6354
@intellectualize6354 3 жыл бұрын
What's wrong with rap according to your version of christianity?
@JohnSmith-yq7gu
@JohnSmith-yq7gu 3 жыл бұрын
@@intellectualize6354 She watches "dr." phil that basically says it all.
@coltonkosto98
@coltonkosto98 3 жыл бұрын
@@intellectualize6354 if someone follows the teachings of the bible, there isnt much rap music that you can listen to and not disagree with...I'm not a Christian, and most rappers disgust me tbh. I know my opinion doesn't mean shit, but glorifying the bullshit that gets pushed to the top of the billboards is what keeps someone like this nice Christian fella from ever hearing someone like merk. He ain't wrong for pooling all rappers into the "mindless garbage content" category
@JordantheBarbarian
@JordantheBarbarian 3 жыл бұрын
This song punched me in the chest man. Keep making songs talking about the real struggles we go through man.
@billbrown1335
@billbrown1335 3 жыл бұрын
Everyone's been here at least once. If you say you haven't--you're lying. The guitar w/the voice + lyrics made this powerful. Good job.
@israelcontreras2176
@israelcontreras2176 3 жыл бұрын
Z a
@Canadian_snoman705
@Canadian_snoman705 3 жыл бұрын
Found out my uncle passed in his sleep this morning and this song is hitting where it counts. Thanks for the escape merk keep up the work brother!
@thugnasty1021
@thugnasty1021 3 жыл бұрын
I hope God watches over you homie 🙏
@doreenchiasson2878
@doreenchiasson2878 3 жыл бұрын
Sorry for your loss bud, chin up from a Cape Bretoner to you....
@sewerslidemg
@sewerslidemg 3 жыл бұрын
@@doreenchiasson2878 I feel ya, death is the only thin promised in life, my nephew would like this r.i.p
@redrice492
@redrice492 3 жыл бұрын
RIP
@tastingspace1292
@tastingspace1292 3 жыл бұрын
My thoughts go out to u and ur uncle homie
@sarahcallaway9750
@sarahcallaway9750 3 жыл бұрын
I don't think there is a song you have put out where I don't get chill bumps. This really hits the soul. Keep it up. Ur amazing.
@matthewdago172
@matthewdago172 2 жыл бұрын
I just lost my brother to an OD angry as hell. Your music is exactly what my soul needs. Keep being as real as you are. Your lyrics are appreciated more then you know bro. Thank you
@lucioaranda5216
@lucioaranda5216 2 жыл бұрын
Me too man I feel this in my soul, I used to do drugs w him but quit tried to get him to quit as well but he got drug back into drugs pissed me off knowing it was someone who knew he was trying to get better than od'd because of feyntanal
@braydenjones6293
@braydenjones6293 2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately to TRUE THAN WORDS Agree 💯 Im sorry for your families loss #keepyaheadup
@lucioaranda5216
@lucioaranda5216 2 жыл бұрын
@@braydenjones6293 iloveyou bro I hope your life brings you success and happiness
@ck6903
@ck6903 8 ай бұрын
Sorry for ur loss my man. RIP to ur brother.
@sammydamag3
@sammydamag3 3 жыл бұрын
how many effects do you want merk? Yes
@codyclayborne8252
@codyclayborne8252 3 жыл бұрын
MERK, this is one of the realest song I've ever heard much love and respect!
@BlindFury00
@BlindFury00 10 ай бұрын
"And ur screaming while ur sleeping and no1 hears you" . Mad bars.
@upstylo
@upstylo Жыл бұрын
Merkules is the best out of Canada no cap
@miked363
@miked363 3 жыл бұрын
Merk.. in my opinion, this is one of the best, if not the best. Everything you spit is fuckin real, i live with severe anxiety, major depressive disorder and PTSD. I was completely addicted to drugs for 10 years, 2 years clean now.. But that by no means makes life much easier.. my self doubt is just as crippling as my mental issues. Sometimes all i can do is throw on some MERK and ill be able to get through one more night. Just knowing there are others who strugge with / have struggled with the same issuess while still living a good life help. Moment, This Again, Goosebumps, Jocelyn Flores rmx, Demons, All Night Long and Reject are at the top in my opinion. The lyrics, the emotion are spot on - Thank you Merk.. your a motherfuckin beast bro
@chazrobertson1956
@chazrobertson1956 3 жыл бұрын
Merk man jeez! I have a lot of love for you bro I feel you. You keep gojng your self man we are are here for support dawg 🙏🏼
@thecountysfinest
@thecountysfinest 3 жыл бұрын
Never think your alone mate when I was 18 my best friend was murdered on my doorstep by a b**th that was thought he was me over fight we had the night before. After I dealt with it I turned to alcohol immediately then spent 4 years on every drug I could find and spent 90% of my time locked away in bedroom. It’s now 3 years after all of that an I’m slowing getting my life back together. I’ve got a full time job, slowing learning to trust people again and spending more an more time outside. Haven’t forgiven myself an don’t think I even deserve it. It’ll never be easy for people who have been threw real shit brother but it does get easier trust me. You just need to never forget the people who care about you deserve the best you you can give them and use that to push threw the dark thoughts and all the bullsh*t that comes with it. P.s please don’t feel sorry for me I don’t deserve it. I only put this out there so he know his not alone.
@chrispy6953
@chrispy6953 3 жыл бұрын
Good job bro, I'm almost in the exact same shoes. Mental health, PTSD, during my sobriety I lost my father figure and was mad at the world because my blood father wasnt taken instead, blood dad is a p.o.s.. I was addicted to opiates for 10 years, just broke my 2n1/2 years sober. It's never easy but remember man, any bad day sober is better than ANY day being in addiction. I'd rather take real world problems and stress over dealing with withdrawals, stealing, and selling everything I own to get another line. I had one REALLY BAD overdose that kinda set me straight along with breaking away from a relationship with a girl I was gonna marry, we were addicts together in a very toxic relationship that I tried to fix by getting clean for her and she the same for me, but getting clean wasn't the answer because it was still toxic and she relapsed and went to jail 3 years ago and I haven't heard from her since but it's better for the both of us to stay apart and hopefully she's happy and safe. In order for us to both be happy, we had to fall off each other's radar completely. You're not alone my friend. We struggle the same kinda way. Proud of you for the hard work and keep it up my guy. I know you're strong enough to keep going down the right direction. Seriously, regular people don't know how hard it is to stay clean, I'm proud of you for real.
@mrsdevine161
@mrsdevine161 3 жыл бұрын
11 years clean. It gets easier but you have to want it, you have to hate who that shit turned you into. You have to stay positive and find you Zen. Music is my therapy, thanks Merk!
@chrispy6953
@chrispy6953 3 жыл бұрын
@@mrsdevine161 I can't agree more... I was with that girl for 11 years and between that toxic and the opiates, I couldn't look in the mirror. I had this thing where if I saw a reflection of myself I'd get really disgusted or space out with thoughts of self hate. I hated...hated who I was. I miss not being alone, but I want my health more than a relationship. 11 years seems like a lifetime out of addiction. I'm only 1/5 of the way spent out of addiction, that I had spent in addiction. It's scary and learning to do things alone is just as scary but my problems will only get worse if I start snorting pills again. I congratulate you on your 11 years my friend.
@Chronic_Smoke
@Chronic_Smoke 3 жыл бұрын
This hits me hard... my best friend committed suicide last week I lost a best friend and a place to live that day. My demons are very real.
@crazycjk
@crazycjk 3 жыл бұрын
Reach out for help my friend, don't suffer in silence, sorry for your loss
@nathanlewis5087
@nathanlewis5087 3 жыл бұрын
Much love. Keep that chin up i cant imagine your pain but I hope you find peace. 420 toke one for the homie.
@jw28sports56
@jw28sports56 3 жыл бұрын
Sorry for your loss stay positive and live your legacy
@Stolenhalo719
@Stolenhalo719 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry. Talk it out man
@nothi_but_kill4809
@nothi_but_kill4809 3 жыл бұрын
You got the community with you bro, we all here to listen to you and help man. We are all one and feel together. We got you
@budzthebeast2237
@budzthebeast2237 Жыл бұрын
I was playing this at my worst three years ago Merk, it really helped me through some tough times along with alot of your other songs 🙏 there's a reason your music resonates with people and all them people are well aware why ✌️
@lindonjennings3770
@lindonjennings3770 9 ай бұрын
Merkules owns this
@barbarahill722
@barbarahill722 7 ай бұрын
😅been there
@noobtv4325
@noobtv4325 3 жыл бұрын
felt this heavy, once upon a time i was heavily involved in gang activity and drug dealing. lost alot of people im an addict in recovery and am only alive for my kids and music like this, im a convicted felon, stabbings, robbery etc , this chorus made me think of all the shit i done in my life and thank god i aint that way no more. love you merk, Love from |London Ont
@ThePc31
@ThePc31 3 жыл бұрын
Idk you man but I’m proud of you! Stay strong bro!!
@amcmahon
@amcmahon 3 жыл бұрын
Stay strong buddy. Not far from you just in windsor! God bless
@b_radg.4448
@b_radg.4448 3 жыл бұрын
The lyrics had a Reject feel too it. Love it man Merk for life.
@L33uk
@L33uk 3 жыл бұрын
Another outstanding track!!!! 💯 C-Lance & Aaron Hiltz always killing it on the production, Nato/Terry Tran with the engineering/mastering...and the lyrical content from you Merk...as always it's impeccable! Real thoughts...real feelings, I felt every word of that bro! I'm so happy how things are going for you with everything taking off...hearing all that you've been through and seeing you still make a success of it is incredibly inspirational! You more than deserve it! Here's to another BBBANGERRR! 💥🤯💥💯💥🤯💥
@tizzleism
@tizzleism 3 жыл бұрын
It’s great to see that Snak directed this video and evil b and merkules have all been loyal to each other thru all hard times and fame. They are a good loyal combo
@brandonoakes6969
@brandonoakes6969 17 күн бұрын
Nightmares haunt my days. Ty. This shit goes hard 🔥
@ChathamASGhetto
@ChathamASGhetto 3 жыл бұрын
Hits hard, for sure.. no one to talk to, just me and my thoughts trying to tell my self it gets better. Clean for 5 days cold turkey, hope I continue this path. Much love merk! Love from Ontario,Canada
@sashm5193
@sashm5193 3 жыл бұрын
Don't give up man you're stronger than you think !
@joshbrush9918
@joshbrush9918 3 жыл бұрын
I got 11 months I had to have open heart surgery last year but I just got accepted to a college you can do it bra if you need to talk hit my fb josh brush you got this homey
@melissae4304
@melissae4304 3 жыл бұрын
💖💪proud of you! Know this fight it though, I'm clean for 2 years now So yeah, I believe you can make it. Now believe in yourself too! You decided to quit , so thats step 1. If you need talk, I'm here, 💖
@natashagilliehenshilwood6517
@natashagilliehenshilwood6517 3 жыл бұрын
Keep string my friend I no,it's hard Cold turkey bn there twice....not a nice scene.....drink plenty fluids will help a lil faster my friend flush the system out..... IT NOT GETTING OFF THEM THAT THE PROBLEM IS KEEPING OFF THEM . Take care pal ,T
@lilanncyclone2569
@lilanncyclone2569 3 жыл бұрын
U got this man don't give up
@DmanMcFadden4883
@DmanMcFadden4883 3 жыл бұрын
Can we just all stop for a minute and pay respects to Merk? Incredible message bro💯💯 Stay strong homie, we've got your back.
@iamtimthetatmanpopeyes6968
@iamtimthetatmanpopeyes6968 2 жыл бұрын
Like wise ... I'm Knightowl
@its_abbzgaming5612
@its_abbzgaming5612 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for keeping me alive for my kids with your songs
@thatpaganaspie
@thatpaganaspie 5 ай бұрын
🫶 there with you
@17palsy
@17palsy 3 жыл бұрын
This song hit me really hard. Im struggling in life and with my demons and this song explains everything perfect. Hope to one day find peace with my demons. Keep the great music coming bro.
@billybluerocket
@billybluerocket Жыл бұрын
Same man.
@chaseliss3766
@chaseliss3766 3 жыл бұрын
Who’s playing this back to back to back 🤘🏻
@ricoparadiso
@ricoparadiso 3 жыл бұрын
Chase Liss JESUS DIED & ROSE AGAIN TO FREE U FROM SIN ACCEPT HIS GIFT✝️✝️✝️
@rogue_phoenix86
@rogue_phoenix86 3 жыл бұрын
This track is absolutely incredible
@mandiebooth-cx5th
@mandiebooth-cx5th 2 ай бұрын
yess.
@mandiebooth-cx5th
@mandiebooth-cx5th 6 ай бұрын
Thank you for existing!!
@danielgozdan5365
@danielgozdan5365 3 жыл бұрын
On Sunday I’m going to detox, and this song hits home... I can’t deal with the demons anymore... your songs have gotten me through so much, and helped me decide that this is what I need to do. Thank you Merk!!
@spacekaseart2093
@spacekaseart2093 3 жыл бұрын
good luck bro, been there, its hell. Find good people with similar goals and surround yourself with them. Drop the dead weight, you dont need that shit.
@nickdusek5104
@nickdusek5104 3 жыл бұрын
Good luck man! I been there and it was exactly what I needed. Sober 1 year and a half.:) you can do it! It’ll seem crazy at first but reality isn’t so scary.:)
@imwithyou38
@imwithyou38 3 жыл бұрын
good luck, i been there and done it so can you. i use ot be addicted to fent and any pain killer around. after a 9 day binge where i should of died i went on a full cold turkey detox. worst week of my life but once u go through the worst you know now to get back to that place
@MineCraftDadnSon
@MineCraftDadnSon 3 жыл бұрын
Hope you find Jesus Christ brother
@allamericangutters2430
@allamericangutters2430 3 жыл бұрын
Keep your head up, people places and things homid
@aplacetobewithmythoughts7428
@aplacetobewithmythoughts7428 3 жыл бұрын
I really respect Merkules’ music. He’s very inspiring and has deep meaning in his message.
@eyosyastebeje9555
@eyosyastebeje9555 3 жыл бұрын
Ikr it's hard to find those kind of rappers now adays
@omgkermit1111
@omgkermit1111 Ай бұрын
we played this song this last Saturday. M;y uncle Dan had passed away on good friday this year. Rest in peace, Uncle Dan ~ fly high
@seanmcintosh3138
@seanmcintosh3138 11 ай бұрын
I found this song in a time I needed to hear it. Been battling drug addiction and mental health issues for years and this is first time I think I've felt like someone not only found the words for it but understood it. Proud of how far this guy has come and the inspiration he has been for myself and many others. Keep speaking for those who still haven't found they're voice Merk 💚💯
@Eric4Hokage
@Eric4Hokage 3 жыл бұрын
"Far from perfect every person has there flaws, and mine is I'm an addict still searching for a cause." That shit is deep and for some of us all to true. This man is beyond under rated, I don't think I've ever heard a whack Merk verse. This is amazing, thanks my man. Keep that heat comin. Get Apathy on track please, over a c-lance beat. shit would be murderous.
@kingoftherags
@kingoftherags 2 жыл бұрын
I genuinely tear up when I listen to this song but I cant help but bop to it
@william02370
@william02370 2 жыл бұрын
Merkules really is an underrated artist, keep your head high m8
@JJ69699
@JJ69699 6 ай бұрын
“Acting like I’m happy starts to feel like my day job” same
@codymcgovern3148
@codymcgovern3148 3 жыл бұрын
Just like jelly roll said, I felt this in my soul... I struggle with my demons on the daily and I will be rocking this incredible song a lot
@meaganmarlborough7030
@meaganmarlborough7030 3 жыл бұрын
Love you Merk. Feel every word. Your lyrics play in my head all the time.
@anthonyfrizzell2316
@anthonyfrizzell2316 Жыл бұрын
Merkules has always pushed me to stay above ground frfr
@SadbutTrue84
@SadbutTrue84 2 жыл бұрын
"When acting like your happy starts to feel like a day job..." yeah bro...I most definitely feel your pain...😞.
@robertshard3004
@robertshard3004 3 жыл бұрын
"Acting happy like it's my day job" And I was hooked it feels like this whole song he was speaking about me
@alexc6202
@alexc6202 3 жыл бұрын
Hope that's the album cover shits sick
@craigboure7607
@craigboure7607 3 жыл бұрын
Acting happy is starting to feel like my day job...good God that hit home 💔
@Synopsis333
@Synopsis333 2 ай бұрын
Let’s go fam
@KurtGregor
@KurtGregor 3 жыл бұрын
This track is like a long lost brother
@jasonfribergphoto
@jasonfribergphoto 3 жыл бұрын
The People who dislike this, the same people who wear masks while in they own cars
@jakob6399
@jakob6399 3 жыл бұрын
What is wrong with wearing it in your car?
@calebmimms2900
@calebmimms2900 3 жыл бұрын
@@jakob6399 bruh
@DustinxCameron
@DustinxCameron 3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@DustinxCameron
@DustinxCameron 3 жыл бұрын
@@jakob6399 what are you protecting yourself from while in your car? 🐑🐑
@ashleynichole91
@ashleynichole91 3 жыл бұрын
Lmaooo 😅😂
@bigsway7062
@bigsway7062 2 жыл бұрын
It’s so refreshing to have a real rapper and lyricist, not bullshit, not just pop for the radio play. But real lyrics, real emotions, real pain. Thank you merk, you da truth
@officialwhoville420
@officialwhoville420 Жыл бұрын
His line that says "Far from perfect; every person has their flaws, and mine is I'm an addict still searching for a cause." Fuck that shit hits fucking deep
@j113crosby
@j113crosby 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Merkules, the lyrics of this song are just amazing. They help put a perspective view on my life when I’m struggling with my inner demons.
@DFA214
@DFA214 3 жыл бұрын
Man you and jelly are two of the best artist in my book y’all have been a huge inspiration for me and I swear on my life while make a track together some day
@bowood4030
@bowood4030 3 жыл бұрын
This is some of the rawist I have heard in awhile...this a jelly rolls yall keep it poppin
@ZeroScapes
@ZeroScapes Ай бұрын
It's on sight
@StatenProductionsInc
@StatenProductionsInc 3 жыл бұрын
“Fuck all this money, you can have it. I don’t feel rich.” Goes to show, money doesn’t buy happiness... Just look at Robin Williams. You can have everything and nothing at the same time.
@jayfitmob8645
@jayfitmob8645 3 жыл бұрын
FACT. I've had it all and lost it twice, money is nothing.
@FiberAbe89
@FiberAbe89 3 жыл бұрын
Enjoy the little things stop every once in a while look up look at the world around you enjoy the quiet enjoy the noise city folk and people in the wild stay safe
@kriskros1976
@kriskros1976 3 жыл бұрын
Its funny how peeps.r always wishing to find happiness n dont realize they keep wasting all those wishes because shit only they can make themselves happy
@forever1188
@forever1188 2 жыл бұрын
👍
@M4ryjane20
@M4ryjane20 2 жыл бұрын
money just makes people bad it goes to their head and distorts their values and listening to Merkules makes me feel less alone in the struggles I go through in my life
@wolfcryyyy
@wolfcryyyy 3 жыл бұрын
Merkules I cant tell you how much I appreciate your music. It seems like every time Im going through it, you drop a song that I can relate to almost down to the T. I swear. Thank you man. Keep doing what your doing and keep your head up! 🙏
@cyrileenscotthuntinghawk6987
@cyrileenscotthuntinghawk6987 2 жыл бұрын
Rest easy uncle Jay no more demons 💪💯🙏
@DesertDweller1776
@DesertDweller1776 3 жыл бұрын
2:45 this verse hit too close to home, respect Merk
@bonebeaupre3405
@bonebeaupre3405 3 жыл бұрын
True fan here just wanted to shout out and ty for keeping this s#it real. Love what your doing bro. ✌️🧡💜🙏
@Leveezy
@Leveezy 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🔥 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHSbZZ6lgrSIpMk
@NutriousX
@NutriousX 3 жыл бұрын
Anyone who don’t like Merkules music is out there mind. Been waiting for him to hit a concert in NY @merkules keep grinding there is not 1 track you have made that I have not liked. He is my top music artist and has been coming out with hits for a while now he’s been next up
@Acr0cker
@Acr0cker 3 жыл бұрын
I've seen Merk live 5 times, ranging from the first year he toured with 30 people at a nightclub all the way to a sold out show of a couple thousand people, i can safely say he kills his live shows and puts everything he has into every show he performs regardless of who's there. I hope you get the opportunity to see him live, SDK for LIFE
@nobz11
@nobz11 2 жыл бұрын
Imagine having so much money and you don't feel rich and happy. Its hell. Pray to God to fight the demons
@jakejay5435
@jakejay5435 2 жыл бұрын
Perfect timing. Merk really be a leader from the shadows of our dark nights.
@codyveltkamp794
@codyveltkamp794 3 жыл бұрын
Legend💯
@jonathanhiers7325
@jonathanhiers7325 3 жыл бұрын
Your the realist artist out. Mad respect
@zcaswell765
@zcaswell765 3 жыл бұрын
I felt this "acting happy is starting tp feel like my day job" in my soul man
@JMC-The-Director
@JMC-The-Director 3 жыл бұрын
Merk killing it!! Putting Canada on the map again and again
@anthonycrews3739
@anthonycrews3739 3 жыл бұрын
after 14yrs of addiction , i feel this so deep, much love Merkules....
@adamweston4152
@adamweston4152 3 жыл бұрын
It's 20 years for me but I'm clean right now and on a methadone maintenance script and I am doing alright, some days are easy and others are a mental battle not to pickup again... you know that little devil 😈 and what he says... but he can go fuck himself.i hope you are heading for better days, it's a tough fight but it's one you can win.
@MineCraftDadnSon
@MineCraftDadnSon 3 жыл бұрын
Seek Jesus Christ
@markhill9862
@markhill9862 3 жыл бұрын
This song hit close to home it helped me at my lowest much love bro
@nickp249
@nickp249 3 жыл бұрын
Merk, ACal, Jelly, and Church gotta give us a banger together!
@ryantully3717
@ryantully3717 8 ай бұрын
Your music always takes me on a trip. I'm sober now but this music hits my soul and gives me trips 😢❤. Good and bad. All about growth and this music is therapy!
@craigmorash6567
@craigmorash6567 3 жыл бұрын
Story teller rap legends!True Talent my friend!!All those long nights we real G’s can relate too...Climb to the top my brother!
@NathanaelNewton
@NathanaelNewton 3 жыл бұрын
Wow the feels on this song.. I remember listening to "In my heart" for the first time.. I didn't see the twist at the end coming and it really got me.. I'm 2 days in on quitting tobacco and alcohol again, I can relate to the addictions and struggles.. I quit for 2 years but this summer got me back down again.. I've listened to this song 3 times now heh.. It's definitely a new favorite, Thank you for making music
@user-tl6uv4eo9c
@user-tl6uv4eo9c 3 жыл бұрын
I get Spitz seeds.. Idk, truly helps me. 💜
@ZeldarJennings
@ZeldarJennings 3 жыл бұрын
Stay strong great people listen the weak enablers only want company your not alone on the path others should lead by positive examples keep your head up
@ohgiDAVIDg
@ohgiDAVIDg 3 жыл бұрын
In my heart is greatness......keep your head up fam.....been there myself ✊🏻
@forrestdisney2698
@forrestdisney2698 3 жыл бұрын
You got this
@mikelarry407
@mikelarry407 3 жыл бұрын
Dude im breaking free from fentanyl/ fake percs and alcohol and its a daily struggle. It seems like the harder u try the harder the demons try to keep you down. God bless you brother. Keep your faith strong
@mandiebooth-cx5th
@mandiebooth-cx5th 2 ай бұрын
Lit as a candle.🎉
@jaythewayne9849
@jaythewayne9849 Жыл бұрын
This song makes me feel like I'm not so alone...
@dylzowallace4736
@dylzowallace4736 3 жыл бұрын
This hits home big time give us strength to power forward on our own paths real talk 💯 🤙
@429woodapple4
@429woodapple4 2 жыл бұрын
real talk bro facts respect ya haha lol
@antoniasignorelli2191
@antoniasignorelli2191 3 жыл бұрын
Legit just making music so much better thank you. I felt this down to my toes 💯🔥
@samuelthrockmorton1424
@samuelthrockmorton1424 Жыл бұрын
🔥
@2G1rls1Pudge
@2G1rls1Pudge 2 жыл бұрын
"I keep having these flashbacks, I hate 'em. They remind me of my problems, I can't stand to face 'em. I know it's probably my last chance to change 'em, but even if I do it, my past can't erase it." Relate to that way too much man. 🔥🔥
@Rudebwoy727
@Rudebwoy727 7 ай бұрын
Ole em vibes u n jelly da 🐐 fr fr Goosebumps listening
@alexanderday8682
@alexanderday8682 3 жыл бұрын
Almost every night. I felt this in my heart. STRAIGHT FIRE. Keep it coming my guy.
@jdc0094821
@jdc0094821 2 жыл бұрын
This guys is honestly a legend helped me though some hard times 🙏🙏🙏
@ryanrobitaille5903
@ryanrobitaille5903 3 жыл бұрын
Merk for life. Real rap at its finest. Rep the eh town. Nobody in the game rn like you bro. Always relating to your shit bro. Big up
@skillzorz101
@skillzorz101 Жыл бұрын
Does C Lance even know how to make an imperfect beat? I think he would be killing it even in a coma.
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