messy AITA posts that almost ruined the wedding - REACTION

[@Mrsayegee]

Second Story: Grief is a long term experience. The daughter’s expectation that they could “get through a few hours” is a massive ask on any anniversary let alone the second.

[@patsalter2447]

A wedding is a date that can be changed. Unfortunately my birthday is the same day my best friend’s husband, my sister-in-law and my daughter-in-law’s mother all passed within a few years. Three close deaths with the same anniversary could make it awkward but everyone realises that no one can select the date of their death. If I could I would move my birthday to another day, but I can’t. I feel the daughter is being most insensitive.

[@karencotlar2023]

I think the daughter is too immature to get married. It was unreasonable and incredibly selfish to insist on that date for her wedding knowing the sad family history.

[@inarifox8912]

​@@patsalter2447 I feel that. My grandma, my moms mom, passed away on my dads birthday. The next few years were awkward to sayvthe least, though my moms family still tried to be supportive of my dad on that day.

[@jogignac-davies6090]

Yeah, long-term, and honestly for the rest of my life you better not ask me for anything on the anniversary, ever, well, I guess if it’s your birthday lol. I’ve gotten to a point where the grief could be forgotten in some points throughout the year, but on that day, that is their day. even if this was 50 years from the death, the importance of that day will never ever change to a grieving person. And unfortunately, while it’s not at the same intensity your whole life, the grief lasts forever and cycles through different stages for the rest of your life. You don’t get over grief completely. The fact that they decided to have a wedding on that date, makes me feel like they truly don’t understand that they’re overshadowing the date of their loved ones death. It’s not a simple as a few hours, now every time that somebody wants to just grieve on that day, they’re gonna have to toast to your marriage and that has a sour taste.

[@phastinemoon]

I sincerely hope that she was trying to give a good, happy memory for that day, too - especially after that first story with such a heartwarming update and conclusion

[@jazminrodriguez8491]

So true, the BODY REMEMBERS. My friend lost her son 30 yrs ago on March 4th. One year, she sort of forgot. But the entire day her heart was so heavy. Finally, someone made a comment about how someone else’s son had gotten into a car crash later that evening, and she just broke down. We were all so concerned. She then told us that that day was the anniversary of her son’s murder. Her mind had forgotten but her body hadnt 😔

[@juanita_rocksteady2761]

For years I would get depressed around Christmas time. I had no idea what was going on until I realized my my mom died two days after Christmas.

[@evelynboyle5255]

The body does remember!! I've had bouts of nausea since my husband died after a truly grueling illness. It doesn't happen as often now. The crazy thing is I can be having a great time when the smallest trigger it. It's weird because I've never had problems with nausea before. Any way people are so right, the body does remember.

[@rebny7801]

This story is so horrible! your friend has all my sympathy. Not only did she lose her child, but he was MURDERD! What a terrible grief!

[@13thMaiden]

My family has a mourning month because we have lost so many people in March. March is just kinda a downer (aside from St Paddy's) month for most of us.

[@XandraHart]

So true. I lost one friend right before Christmas and another right after New Year’s. The Holidays are pretty bittersweet to me now.

[@renb6133]

That first story was a lesson in unconditional love, open communication & sometimes choosing to be selfless as a parent. I adore the genuine love between these two & how, after talking about it ( plus a few drinks & crazy dancing), mom sacrificed her dress to make her daughter happy. Now THIS is what genuine, unconditional love looks like. Just wonderful! 💕

[@rkoncenasupporter]

in that first story, since OP wants to wear a suit, couldn't she wear one of her dads suits instead? possibly her dads suit from the wedding if possible, that way she'd be connected to mom and dad and then wear moms jewelry from her wedding or something....awwww to the update, glad they had a compromise

[@shelbystroud5210]

It's possible the suit is gone since a lot of men rent suits

[@ColdCreekB]

I seems like the mom was emotionally manipulated by family and crazy Reddit people to give it up, and boom… then it happened after she was emotional and had been drinking. Grimeeyyyy.

[@HalfNHalf.]

Honestly I think it’s very wrong the way people tried to make the mom out to be homophobic for not wanting HER wedding dress ruined. It’s disgusting actually. Stay away from lefties, they’re manipulative.

[@HalfNHalf.]

@@ColdCreekBexactly. It was disgusting and disturbing the way the mom was treated. She has always been supportive of her gay daughter but now that she doesn’t want her dress ruined, she’s homophobic? GROSS. Very manipulative. Pray for the mother.

[@thecainesoren]

@@HalfNHalf. I was thinking the same thing. She said in the original post how she Offered her daughter's fiance wear the dress instead. She tried to come up with a solution that still involved the dress. How did reddit people come to the conclusion she was homophobic??

[@joellaogilvie2744]

As a widow of 21 years I can tell you that the date will always hold a certain sadness.

[@goaway601]

I'm so sorry for your loss. People say time heals all wounds. That is, in my opinion, not true. I think it gets harder the more you go without them, at least in my experience. So even though it's been 21 years I'm so terribly sorry for your loss❤

[@sharonroberson3416]

The bride scheduling on a day when one member of her family from 3 different generations was killed would be devastating to the family. People lost grandma, daughter, sister, son, aunt, uncle, cousin, brother, sister...all 3 of them would have multiple relations to the entire family. I lost my husband to an illness a year ago and I am still reeling from it. A sudden shocking accident would initially be so traumatic, as there was no time for anyone to mentally prepare (and no I was not prepared but I knew it was coming). They could have picked the day of their first kiss, the day of their first whatever...

[@TheBaumcm]

That was my initial reaction as well, just no. I lost my brother unexpectedly, massive heart attack, and I literally went so numb with shock that I almost passed out. It was just after New Year’s and for the first couple of years I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas even. Our birthdays were very close and we had always celebrated together so I started feeling really ambivalent about that too. For her to be so indifferent is kind of sociopathic.

[@lucycarlisle9120]

​@@TheBaumcm It could also be a moment of healing for them to go to the wedding for even just the ceremony and have something better to associate on that date than only tragedy. Refusing to move past a bad moment isn't healthy. I may have a different perspective because I come from a large family, but many dayes overlap in our family. It's a reason for us to draw closer together. If a new family member is born on the day that an older one died, it's a moment for those we have lost as well as those we have gained. Life is a circle. They're actually being gatekeepers of a calendar date. It's a bit dramatic & selfish in a way. The grief is real, as is the fact that they need to move on from it as best they can. It was actually hers & her fiancé's date first. There is zero disrespectful or sociopathic about her wanting that date they met for her wedding, nor of wanting her family to be happy for & support her. If they would meet her halfway, she could even incorporate a remembrance into the wedding.

[@ethlereal]

​​​@@lucycarlisle9120 to try to tell someone how they should be grieving and how long it must take to heal based just on your experience and your way of seeing the world is completely out of touch of you. I'm a psychologist and I can affirm that there is nothing wrong with feeling the lost of one, let alone three different loved ones in the same date, and it's just been TWO FUCKING YEARS. To try to tell them they are being dramatic and gatekeeping a date just because they are hurting is extremely terrible of you. I lost my mom less than two years ago, but before that I lost other people too, and I reacted differently in each and every case, and my mom was the worst not just because it was my mom, but because we actually had the same birthday date, and because without her, my little sisters only have me, so I had to postpone my grief to work and go to university because my life had to continue, but every Mother's Day, and Birthday, and other important dates, I just broke down crying, specially because every other day I can't. Get over yourself and stop trying tell people how they should feel based on your nothing, because as someone who studied grief, I can tell is not a 5-stage fairytale that ends in acceptance, and people are allowed to reserve some dates to cry, specially the date of the death. AH.

[@Julia36D]

@@lucycarlisle9120you’ve commented with this garbage on multiple comments. What is WRONG with you?? I’m starting to think you’re the bride. The bride’s behaviour is disgusting. There is no alternate explanation. You don’t celebrate a marriage on the date three of your family members died two years after the death, especially considering it’s not even two years after when she started planning this. That date is a difficult date for the first few years. She clearly doesn’t care about anyone but herself as it wouldn’t even cross the mind of a normal person.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

@@lucycarlisle9120 No, just no. In time, maybe there will be a birth (something that can't be planned) that can bring joy to the family but a wedding (that is a choice of date) is not a joyous occasion for the family. No one cares about a couple's wedding day once that day is over but this bride will expect people to celebrate her anniversary instead of remember their lost family. And, frankly, a wedding day is not something that is going to cause those grieving to get move past their grief. Her ignoring their grief because she prefers that day is not going to bring the family closer.

[@Morgalodon]

As someone who lost their brother July 4th, 2022; that date will have emotional impact for decades to come...A wedding on an emotional day is stupid.

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss!! I'm sure it's not just his death's anniversary that's hard, but also other important days for you like birthdays and holidays. The first few years are usually the worst, not just the first one. Most don't get over it, they learn to live around their loss. No one has the right to dictate how someone else grieves and for how long!

[@sab5076]

Especially when the death was ONLY two years ago. As someone who lost both her parents, two years is way too soon. And I would have never gone to a wedding on their death date. The daughter is being awful in that second one.

[@alexandrapavlinac4768]

My dad died on Valentine’s Day, it’s still a really fraught day for me 11 years later 💔

[@TheKeeperMadz]

It is not for you to call people's decisions stupid just because YOU don't agree does not make us stupid, it just makes you a nasty person.

[@kimberlycarson6626]

I lost my husband in a car accident on July 4th in 1990. It is still a difficult day….usually begins with tears but ends with smiling at fireworks (I love them so) but I still can’t “celebrate” the holiday like others.

[@tabbycat8323]

My sister chose to get married on the date of our mothers passing. I was surprised at her choice of wedding date. She explained that it was her way of bringing some happiness to such a sad date. If it makes it easier for her to handle the loss of our mom then i support it. As for me, I still grieve the loss on that day. Lay flowers on her grave.

[@KaitlynBritt-pg8bm]

Everyone handles lots differently. I think it's awesome that you are still supporting her on her choice

[@fordhouse8b]

@@KaitlynBritt-pg8bm Also, I think it could (for some people) make a HUGE difference how long ago the mother passed away, and under what circumstances. If she died nine years ago, at the age of 73 after a protracted illness, it would be a much different situation from if she died aged 41, unexpectedly one year ago, in a horrific car wreck alongside several other members off the family.

[@MsBethanHolly]

I am choosing to get married on the 5th anniversary of my mom's death. She was 86 and lived with me. She was healthy and died unexpectedly but she had a long good life and I want to bring some light to this sad day. She will be remembered and honoured on the day and I will be sad she cannot be there in person but she will be a part of the celebration

[@elisabethronnqvist5527]

Good for her! Death is only a ”going to the next level”. ” we die once but we live every day”. In my spiritual thinking we are too focused on death and how we should mourn and for how long. And god forbid if someone acts out of the normal box.

[@elisabethronnqvist5527]

@@MsBethanHollyGreat ❤ Love that you choose to celebrate your mum this way, would do the same. I know she feels the same 😊

[@silvercunningham493]

How she explained that you don't always know but your body does... So accurate. I'll get super sad and be off and then check the date and realize why.

[@jadadallas5891]

I had this happen big time this year. In the two months leading up to my best friend's death, I was in a deep depression. Took my son pointing out the timing for me to realize the significance of the date.

[@teresaturner7605]

As a plus size person I would NEVER have asked someone to wear something specific to "make me the most beautiful" at my own wedding. I literally never gave anyone else a single thought other than the people in the wedding party. I guess I missed the bridezilla trend. LoL

[@cassandrareedy7369]

What if it's not about jealousy? I'm concerned that OP has an eating disorder and just claims she is being a threat to the bride's confidence. Maybe bride doesn't want everyone making fun of or worried about SIL at her wedding. Think Eugenia Cooney in formal attire claiming it's appropriate because she has no cleavage. I'm sorry, but we only heard OP's side of the story, so Who knows 😢

[@hellosunshine88]

@@cassandrareedy7369 Hahahaha there is no way, these are adults, it is not the brides job to care what will she wear and if she will be too skinny or not. The OP doesnt sound insecure, also if we give the benefit of the doubt, SIL came with a dress and OP said NO, end of story, she doesnt get to coerce and make her wear what she wants if she isnt in the wedding party. The bride is insecure about her weight and is jealous, simple as that. I can maybe even understand having that feeling, but it is another thing to voice it out like that, she should have kept it to herself.

[@Marynicole830]

@@cassandrareedy7369 how in the world would you even dream up this scenario? Usually one side is all that is needed. Not always, but the thing about assholes is they think they are right so while they may leave out some of their bad behavior in Reddit posts, they don’t leave all of it out because then they don’t get the validation they are looking for and they actually see nothing wrong with their actions. It’s usually easy to tell who the asshole is and when it’s unclear, if the poster is replying to comments, redditors know how to ask the hard questions to sus them out. Sometimes Reddit is wrong or they don’t see the situation clearly or whatever but I’d say a good majority of the time, it’s easy to get to the bottom of a situation even with one side telling the story. Because there isn’t two sides to every story. There is one. The truth. Anything else is a lie or misunderstanding.

[@ChaosTheoriesLuxe]

The bride pretty much kinda body shaming her thin friend in a covert way.

[@ChaosTheoriesLuxe]

​@cassandrareedy7369 it's possible but not probable.

[@crazedcatlady867]

Honestly, I’m just pissed that people were calling the first mom homophobic. She is clearly doing everything she can to be supportive to her daughter and the wife. Piss off people

[@jessicathomason7063]

People are so quick to scream homophobic. And i can say that cause im a homo 😂😅. She still supported her daughter regardless of her way of life, like a good mom does. Not a homophobe.

[@sherryclark5475]

Exactly! And it makes people not take real homophobia seriously.

[@crazedcatlady867]

@@sherryclark5475 RIGHT!! That always bothers me that people get hyper fixated on accusing innocent people and ignoring actually crappy people!!

[@vlee3880]

People are not just one thing or another: racist or not racist;homophobic or not homophobic; privileged or not privileged. People are more complex than that. Yes?? Right. So The mom can be SUPER supportive of her daughter in a million ways - which is wonderful and I’m so damn happy that that child had her mom’s support. AND mom can also still have some internalized ideas about weddings and dresses and femininity that subtly underlie her decision to not allow her daughter to alter/taylor/ modify the dress *specifically in a way that reflected a more masculine use of it* is quite possibly a reflection of the mom’s internalized homophobia and cis-genderism / and cis-sexism. This does happen to be my area work, so I know a little bit about how homophobia exists that go beyond over slurs or disowning of people. Homophobia - like racism, and ableism, and classism - do not exist only 1:1 in explosive interpersonal or police related incidents, and resulting in d**ths in hospitals… These beliefs subtly underpin lot of things we take for granted. #ScienceIsReal

[@youknowwhat9911]

@@vlee3880she just doesn’t want her meaningful important dress to be altered Jesus💀not everything is about having internal homophobia

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

Death Date bride is a case study in Main Character Syndrome. The self-absorbtion is god-tier.

[@embersun.]

It was the brides grandma, uncle, and cousin that died. Like what?

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

@embersun. she wasn't even the closest to them, & her insensitivity to everyone _else_ effected - even when warned ab it - was wildly selfish.

[@mixedness87f35]

Yea but it's her wedding, that date was already their anniversary date. It's not like they chose the day just to choose it . Their anniversary date doesn't change. Its very important to Lots of people to get married /have their wedding be on their anniversary. Unfortunately something about how she's handling it seems She does lack empathy .

[@kweenz109]

@@mixedness87f35there's literally 300 other days of the year she can choose. Why do you want sad people at your wedding or not coming at all? It's weird and insulting.

[@cindatelis]

⁠@@kweenz109there’s actually LITERALLY 364 other days of the year she can choose…. Unless it’s a leap year…

[@Lunashadow-qn3ms]

Last story op has a medical condition that makes it hard to gain waight/ keep it. She stated that she was always underwaight and her pregnancy was rough because of it. Family knows of this thats brother and his bridezilla are the AH'S . I hope more people drop out .

[@selinesbeau]

She can have some of my weight. I don't mind sharing.

[@vilena5308]

I have a friend who has a similar issue. I'm never gushing, like some, how she always looks great and 'luckily' doesn't have to think about her weight. She has some major health issues that correlate to this, had to be under medical attention to actually gain some weight, and her only child was difficult to carry and will remain her only one. Honestly, not commenting on people looks unprompted is a good policy (with some exceptions).

[@SingingSealRiana]

​@@vilena5308true!

[@kellyjohnson4046]

Agreed!! That last "bridezila" is just an inconsiderate, obsessive C yUo Next Tuesday OP's brother needs to step up & tell his bride she needs to stop being an obsessive child!! Otherwise good luck with THAT marriage!

[@WeKnow_]

​@@vilena5308 See if the issue wasn't her weight there's one way to kinda confront your insecurity without being a butt. It requires being vulnerable so it can be a bit difficult. If she is open and honest, then asks them for advice/ help it could prove to also be a bit of a bonding experience. An example that immediately comes to mind is; "Hey I think you're really pretty and I'm feeling a bit insecure. If you wouldn't mind sharing some tips( hair, makeup or attire related), I would be forever grateful." A statement like this doesn't put pressure on them to "fix" your insecurity while also avoiding blaming them for something that's not their fault. It's just someone having a normal insecurity seeking guidance from someone they admire for any amount of reasons.

[@sngray11]

These wedding themed AITA videos never get old! 💞 Thank you Charlotte and your incredible team for always brightening my day on the days that you post. 🙌🏽

[@theoriginalbreakage]

the op in the first story CLEARLY said she was supportive of her daughter and her lifestyle. her not wanting the dress to be completely turned into something else doesnt make her homophobic??? people have lost their minds lmao clearly small altercations to the dress to adjust it a bit so the daughter can wear it are ok because it still remains mostly the same. turning it into a suit changes it completely. its not the suit that's the issue here. people need to grow up. glad they were able to find a compromise!

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

I loved that compromise too! Also, she is helping her daughter pay for the wedding. She is NOT homophobic at all! People love trying to read between the lines when there aren't any or pick apart how someone said something. Most of the time it's easy know what someone meant even if their wording was off.

[@bunnybgood411]

Not a compromise. The mother gave the daughter the dress to do whatever she wanted to with it.

[@countrymusicandcher8593]

​@@bunnybgood411 Where does it say that? She promised her daughter her dress ASSUMING that it would be worn as is. A dress is a dress is a dress. A dress is not a bodice for a suit. Like I get the daughter want it and she isn’t being unreasonable in any other way. The only issue is promising it the second time.

[@magrathea_adams]

@@countrymusicandcher8593 She says it at 7:57. Mom changed her mind at the last moment.

[@LyraPyxisVT]

​@@bunnybgood411No she didnt. She explained it was for her daughter to use and return back to the mother the same way it was before, stop trying to victim blame and make something out like it is something, i bet you were one of those people who called her homophobic cause she wouldnt let her GAY daughter alter her dress that has sentimental value, grow tf up and stop being senstive im so tired of this generation being over sensitive grow a pair of balls grow up

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, picking a date that you know will hurt a close family member for your wedding is a huge faux pa. Especially if the lose is so recent.

[@MadysonBrown-vr5iz]

it’s also her anniversary, i’ve had relatives get engaged on my dads 1 year . i get the pain but it’s her wedding and she may the an AH for getting upset but over the date she is NTA

[@Multimonata]

It's "faux pas" 😚🇨🇵

[@lilicorn7963]

The first story made me teary. This mother and this daughter are clearly super close. I wish I could ever have a relationship that close with my own mother

[@minirth.maggie]

Me too, legit crying

[@thenightmaricsenpai524]

Same!

[@robsonrobson9905]

I love an update where people talk it out and compromise, but the cufflinks absolutely broke me. Just one big out loud sob. Absolutely beautiful family moment 🥰🥲🥰🥲

[@jcny11]

Me too!

[@msbumbleb4407]

As for the upstaging one, i thought for years i would be insecure at my wedding because my SIL is drop dead gorgeous and she was gonna be a groomsman. I felt beautiful on my day and i was happy to share it with her and that she looked great too. You just get over it as the day gets closer. Insecurity is normal, but its not the SIL fault she is gorgeous.

[@elizabethgainey4742]

While I agree about the insecurity thing, how do we know that the OP is giving the full story. Charlotte has read plenty of one's where they are doing things to be the center of attention. I can't really make a judgment without both sides.

[@dustinriley8059]

@@elizabethgainey4742 Your statement doesn't really make a lot of sense. You can only judge based on the information you have.

[@alphawolf2157]

@@elizabethgainey4742 As one comment here wrote, OP had written more context and yeah, SIL is the AH and the whole family is mad

[@Jade_1872]

So happy she got the cufflinks. That’s genuinely the first thing that came to mind when she said she wanted her father there. Like cmon they are classy and have meaning.

[@katherineclarke9282]

STOP not the first story bringing me to actual tears!!! 😭 So rare that Reddit is this wholesome. I’m so glad mom and daughter came to terms and it was such a special bonding moment between them!

[@heatherlowe7330]

When Mom said she realized her daughter didn't look like herself 😭🥰

[@gm-xc5hl]

My mom gave me her wedding dress and allowed me to basically make it into another dress. BUT my mom was divorced, so she had no sentimental attachment to it.

[@crimsonfirelily]

I was lucky enough to be able to wear my moms wedding dress from the 60s. It fit me perfectly. It was a tea length dress and was so beautiful! Veil was perfect and everything. I was so happy 😊. One of my best memories with my mom! I am so happy the first story had a good resolution. 💜✌️

[@tamarak9393]

@@crimsonfirelilyI wore my mom’s dress too. It was from 1964 and my grandmother had made it. The only thing I did to it was add some beading to the bodice. It was just beautiful. Btw my husband and I will be celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary this May. My parents will be celebrating their 60th this August. So maybe the dress is lucky.

[@graciecat6344]

Ironically, my Mom's 80s dress was a cream, wool pencil dress and blazer that OP's daughter could've easily used, but I went with a fully beaded gown

[@hillbillydeluxe27]

Do you have an emotional attachment to that Gibson SG in your thumbnail?

[@crimsonfirelily]

@tamarak9393 that's so awesome! The dresses from the 1960's were beautiful! Congratulations 💜✌️

[@jamiemoir505]

The way my son comes RUNNING when he hears your intro😂

[@sillygirlkc]

Hey everybody! (I love it too!)

[@kallista5194]

Awww! How old is he? 3? 4? 30? 40? 🎉

[@avepbellon]

I love the idea of incorporating a piece of your mom’s dress into your wedding day! My mom and dad have 2 daughters, myself and my older sister. I had a courthouse wedding and my sister had a ceremony and reception a month later, both very special. My mom used a sleeve of her own wedding dress from the early 90s for each of our bouquets, and it felt so special for us as her daughters!

[@averysmolbrownie3856]

easter was ruined for me after my grandparents’ deaths. If I think about it for too long I cry, and it’s been nearly a decade. Expecting people to let go of a grief like that in two years when you could move the date is honestly just cruelly inconsiderate.

[@raraavis7782]

Yeah. Don't get that one, at all. Especially after talking to the bride about it beforehand. 'That's when we met' is just not a compelling reason, to have to have the wedding on that date.

[@kelleywyskiel3478]

I feel this, my grandmother basically raised me. Easter was her favorite holiday and a huge family event each year. Then she passed away an early Easter morning. It’s never been the same and a decade later our huge family still hasn’t been able to recreate that magic and gather. ❤

[@LauraFromMarkerQuest]

Easter was also difficult for my family after my grandmother died, so I totally understand this.

[@Rinnu500]

This! I lost my dad a few years ago and I still can't stand to attend anything on the date...

[@ilinoisy]

Hi, Easter friends! My dad died unexpectedly last Easter (cremated three days later on my birthday). I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to experience the holiday the same, but I hope all of you are being patient and kind to yourselves and your grief. Lots of love to you!

[@kdscraftcorner]

As someone who is facing my dad's passing 2 years in just a week, I can say the 2nd year is worse than first. At least for us. Last year was hard, but I think I was still a little numb. This year, I've cried every day for the last week because things keep reminding me of my dad. Having her wedding day on such a tragic day that happened just 2 years ago is definitely a narcissistic a-hole move. 😢

[@LazyIRanch]

I'm so sorry you lost your dad, it will get easier, but not after only 2 years. You have this big empty place in your life after losing someone you love so dearly. My dad died 28 years ago and I still think of him every day. I will never, ever plan anything for August 13th. I hate that day. It was the anniversary of my first wedding to a homicidal psychopath. No, I didn't know that when I married him, and I left him about a year later. He stalked me, threatened violence, and carried out that violence on August 13th, on what would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. He went to my parents' home and murdered my father. I friggin' HATE August 13th.

[@TimeToBreathe-ntmf]

​​@@LazyIRanch that is so unspeakably horrible! I am so sorry that you had to experience that torment that escalated to the tremendous loss of your father. I hope you have had counseling, lots of support, and empathy on your healing journey ❣️ Sending peace and love your way Edit to add: F*ck August 13th

[@audreym3908]

I'm so so so sorry for your loss. I think maybe reminiscing about the good times can help.

[@cozettapierce8239]

This year will be 2 years since my Dad passed away & this year is hitting a bit harder. So, I can relate to the family's feelings on this.

[@kdscraftcorner]

@LazyIRanch Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am so sorry for what you have had to endure. My mother and I refuse to even be home the day he passed. So we head somewhere every year now. We spend time away from the sad place and try to remember the good times. Prayers for you and your journey through your heartbreak. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your dad that way.🙏

[@hailla97]

I am so crying. The way they dressed each other up, danced, and took pictures is so awesomely precious. I'm glad they worked it out😍❤

[@justhearmeout3959]

Can confirm that "All rise for the honorable Judge Charlotte" does, in fact, never get old 😁 (Edit: forgot the "gobble gobble)

[@johnsmom3532]

Agreed. In the same voice she uses.

[@raraavis7782]

True. It's like Maddie White's 'Your honor I'm slaying!', when she comes up with a particularly stylish outfit idea. You would think it's repetitive or even corny after a while...but it's not 😅

[@Ladida555]

I gobble like a turkey while she does it lol

[@Flowersandshotguns]

She said it right as I was reading your comment 😂

[@odie420]

I said it in the voice and you are definitely correct

[@dealwithit9772]

My mom was TINY she was 16 and going through a pregnancy that made it hard for her to eat. So none of us have fit her dress since we were 12-15. She had very curvy daughters. When I was 12, I tried it on, and it didn't zip all the way too much chest. None of us would ever alter that dress beyond repair or so much that it would be a different dress. So if any of us have a ceremony. We are only borrowing the veil. She's sentimental and also lost her husband, my father, after 35 give or take years. So completely on mom's side, not wanting her dress to essentially become a corset top.

[@nehamaw]

That update was heartwarming omg!!!

[@sophiahighland4291]

My grandma (when my generation started getting married) had us take pieces from her dress to incorporate into the wedding. One made a purse. One made a carrier for her silk bouquet. I forget what the third did, but everyone did something different. If I ever get married I want to use her buttons and turn them into my wedding jewelry. I say all this, because I love the idea of including a family members wedding dress. It’s wonderful to connect the old to new.

[@what_equals_42]

As a young woman with a deceased father myself, the beginning of the first story made me glad that my mother's wedding dress is weird and green and aggressively 80s and no-one has ever wanted me to wear it. If I ever get married, I'll wear some of the jewelry my Dad gave my Mum, and walk down the aisle while holding a photo of Dad, which could then go in the front row seat next to Mum.

[@ejhox8]

for the one where the daughter chose the memorial day of OP's relatives. My dad passed on the day of my 4th grade orchestra concert and even now (20+ years later), I feel so depressed and limp around that time. the body DOES know

[@LongNight_Moonlight]

10:45 is exactly how my mom reacts in the days leading up to a death anniversary, her body subconsciously reacts to the grief and trauma way before her she remembers it’s almost the day she lost someone. It’s hard to see it happen because I know it frustrates her when she does remember and she hates herself for not remembering sooner. I think her mind is just trying to protect her from the trauma.

[@DutchIsraeli]

OMG the second story is horrific. My neighbour's son died last Friday and I didn't want to go out the entire weekend, even though I didn't even know the boy. To go to celebrate a wedding on the date 2 years after your son and grandchildren died is inconceivable. That girl doesn't give a shit about other people's grief. Even if they went, they would be sad and not enjoying themselves. How can you ever want that or do that to your family?? 😢

[@drowsyfloof]

dude... i feel so bad for that person whose daughter just disregarded the fact that... that day, their parent lost their MOTHER? AND THEIR SIBLING??? AND THEIR NEPHEW!? my family is also a bit small, and there's absolutely all kinds of bs and drama and pain between us all. but if i knew that my own mother lost three of the most important people in her life (this is referring to whom is important to MY mom specifically), i would absolutely NOT be choosing that day for ANYTHING, much less something as important as a wedding where i'd WANT people to attend. how brutally selfish and heartless of that person's daughter.

[@lucycarlisle9120]

So judgy of you. People in small families feel so entitled. I'm from a big family, and dates for important events happen all the time. It is the mark of a true family with emotional maturity that we can be there for each other through all of the events, even on the same day. Someone got divorced on the same day someone was born? Eatin' meetin'. Let's reminisce, talk $h!t about an ex, then eat cake & open presents. The judgement on this woman is ridiculous.

[@Sar-ahG]

Not only wedding but also anniversaries

[@racheldoxtator7964]

Yes! Her grandpa lost his wife and his son. Her mom lost her mom, brother, and nephew. Her aunt lost her husband, son, and mother in law. Her cousin lost his brother, dad, and grandma. That's complete devastation! And it was such a short time ago and for her to be all like "suck it up and smile for me for a couple hours" is beyond heartless

[@racheldoxtator7964]

​@lucycarlisle9120 you might feel differently if someone wants to throw a party the day a third of your family is wiped out. This isn't "divorce and eating cake and shit talking about exs" but congrats on your "emotional maturity"

[@camsterb]

​​@@racheldoxtator7964that person's commented on every comment about that story. It's either her or her flying monkeys trying to defend her disgusting choice.

[@ekanamsha]

I commented somewhere on a previous post, and I'm saying it again... In our weddings 🇮🇳 it's rude to _not_ dress up well. The guests are expected to look top notch. And no matter what you wear, you can *never ever* outshine a _desi bride_ That's the beauty of it!

[@potatofries9939]

Yea the brides have a different glow that doesn't come from the clothes or jewelry she's wearing.

[@andreeap369]

As is everywhere else. Only Americans have this fear of upstaging the bride 🤦‍♀️

[@AgnesNagy-fo1do]

Its rude everywhere to not dress up properly to a wedding, or any other similar event like funerals, baptism, engagement, graduation etc

[@hartleyb8356]

I love that!!!❤

[@samriddhihihihi]

Exactly...multiple newly weds even wear their own wedding dresses and still are never even close to upstaging the bride🤌

[@helenlewis2510]

2nd story reminds me of another Reddit post where the bride tried to schedule her wedding on the anniversary that OP‘s husband and child passed away in a car crash, and admitted she did it because she wanted good memories to replace the bad ones. The OP and every other bridesmaid ended up dropping out of the wedding.

[@AvaEFF]

“She wanted good memories to replace the bad ones”. I don’t think that’s how that works.

[@margaritasantelices1691]

We need visuals to your mom's wedding dress😂😂

[@rue__849]

No cap😂

[@gailmueller174]

I totally agree!

[@fecanes]

you wear it, do a lil photoshoot xD

[@GilbertoGinja]

We do!!

[@tmntfangirl4700]

Second Story - NTA because OP warned her and she didn’t listen. And why would you want to get married on a date where other family members have recently passed on that same date?

[@cathipalmer8217]

I loved my wedding dress. My mother made it. I dreamed of passing it on to my daughter one day, but we were not able to have children. I kept snd cherished the dress for several years, but then realized that I didn't want my wonderful dress to die with me. So I gave it to Goodwill, and it makes me happy to think that it might have helped someone else to celebrate.

[@sandralucerogaldosretamozo2410]

It had only been two years, emotions are still very much fresh. I mean, I think maybe after 5+ years. I'm just so terribly sorry for their loss.

[@saralangston1153]

On the second story: When the wedding venue is more important than the family, everyone might need to recognize that this daughter is more focused on the whole “I’m getting married, it’s my special day. I am special. My needs are special. Me me me meeeeee. Good luck on a long and happy marriage

[@mkilauj]

I lost my dad almost 3 years ago, and I still get teary-eyed and emotional just thinking about it. It doesn't even have to be that specific date.

[@cassandrareedy7369]

My Dad's last homemade meal was my birthday dinner I cooked for myself. He asked me " Why do you do all this, it's your birthday?" I told him that "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't, and if I do it's with a happy heart. You taught me that Dad!" He died exactly one month later with a happy heart, not wanting to do it anymore. I gave him the permission to die with dignity. I don't regret it, but I miss him. My birthday is bittersweet. Crying now. Praying for you ❤

[@mkilauj]

@@cassandrareedy7369 sending you lots of love.❤️❤️❤️

[@lindah3803]

​@@cassandrareedy7369The last time I made a German Chocolate cake from scratch was May 7, 1981. I learned how to make that cake because it was my Dads favorite. He wanted it every year for his birthday. He passed September of that year. I still get upset 3 to 4 times every September. I have nothing left of his. No picture,trinket, accessory thanks to a house fire and a tornado. All I have is in my memory.

[@cassandrareedy7369]

@@lindah3803 I wonder if you could track something of his down. Check with his alma mater and ask if they have pictures of him. The newspaper is an excellent source to check.

[@sarah.harasboucher5202]

I agree with you when you said even if you don’t exactly think about it being someone’s anniversary of the day they passed away your mind and body just know and you feel it! My Dad passed away 24 years ago and the whole week before I have a sick feeling in my stomach every year like something is wrong or something bad is going to happen and it always takes me a couple days to realize why I have this feeling…sadly realizing doesn’t make it go away but the day after it does thank god. But it’s just crazy how your body knows and feels the loss.

[@reborka]

Dang this first story got me all teary eyed 😭❤️ especially the part where she said her daughter looked beautiful but it wasn’t her and decided to give her the dress to do whatever with. I’m going to be a mom soon and I hope to give my child that kind of love no matter what. What a tender relationship these two have ❤️❤️

[@bringezk]

yeah, I think Mom had to work through that her daughter wasn't the girly bride that she'd dreamed about as well. In the daughter's mind, altering her Mom's dress to a suit brought both parents together - the masculine cut for Dad made from the dress they professed their love in together. I'm glad they could talk it through & get there. And who knows, if she & her wife have kids, one of them might like to wear it for their wedding and their Grandparents honored again!

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

Yeah, I got teary eyed when she said it wasn't her daughter (because she accepts her for who she is) even though she was beautiful in the dress. She loves her daughter and knows her well. I'm also glad they were able to find a compromise that worked for them and they sound close.

[@PincheBecky0Effsgiven]

The priest who married my parents refused to marry them on a Saturday because my mom wasn't properly "given away". Mom's mother passed away when she was young. Her father remarried, and her stepmother kicked her out at 16. Mom was 18, my dad didn't want her rolling like a tumble weed anymore. The punishment from the church was married on a Tuesday, no wedding dress, no large wedding, not even a kneeling bench for them. They were married for over 50 years, until dad passed away. ❤❤❤

[@TimeToBreathe-ntmf]

Beautiful love story between your parents but the Church is acting toxic AF....

[@myconfusedmerriment]

I’m sorry the church did them so dirty like that, but it’s really sweet hearing that they were together for so long. Proof that the wedding is just one day and if things aren’t perfect, it’s not the end of the world. ❤

[@TheBaumcm]

Guessing Catholic, since priest, and yeah it’s super controlling, and even worse now. In the end, the priest can be a petty human but he cannot withhold the sanctity of the sacrament.

[@ahoward3503]

That's so backwards. I am Catholic, and I honestly can say I've seen moms/moms and dads/brothers or other family members walk the bride down the isle with no issue. Must have been that priest just being difficult or misogynistic. One thing I like in Byzantine Catholic marriages is that the bride actually walks alone. This is to symbolize her willingly and independently choosing marriage. It is also to symbolize her and the groom independently choosing each other, and starting their life free of their parents influence, and committing fully to each other as a union. The bride isn't being "given away", she and the groom are a union of two people making a commitment to each other. I'm Roman Catholic and I've considered going about my wedding in this fashion.

[@andreabradley5837]

No hate like christian love 🙁

[@janewaysmom]

I'm so happy about the first story. I'm glad they worked it out and made plans to get that daughter a memento and an outfit she wants to wear.

[@Starprinceemile]

One of my friends was absolutely gorgeous the day of my wedding, even my BIL commented after the fact how pretty she was. I didn’t feel bad about, she didn’t purposely try to look flawless, she’s just a very pretty person! I couldn’t imagine being that upset over someone else’s looks on your wedding day

[@ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed]

Right!!!! I hope everyone dresses up like royalty for my wedding. My party is not just for me. Its their party too!🎉 I love throwing parties❤ cant imagine being upset over someone being beautiful. I would hype her up😂

[@Crimsonkate13]

Now that is the right attitude to have. Let everyone shine and be beautiful with the bride being the brightest of all the shimmering lights

[@_SomeoneYouDontKnow_]

the first ones honestly so sweet! im glad they could both come into an agreement with the compromise.

[@BananaMeReal]

It’s still sad she gave away the dress even tho she clearly wanted to keep it 😢

[@leesh4906]

The mom and daughter clearly have a close relationship, and I'm glad they were able to work through this and reconcile.

[@monroerobbins7551]

I’m glad the first story resolved in a happy and good way. :)

[@rikih1442]

By a show of hands 👍 LOL Anyone else dying to see Charlotte's Mom's gold wedding dress? 😂 Edited to add: Charlotte does show us a pic on her phone of her mom in the gold dress, but it's very hard to really see it😊

[@ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed]

Yeah 😢

[@mariasantana346]

The second story that girl has no feelings whatsoever about loosing her grandmother, uncle and cousin. How selfish and egocentric of her, WOW 😢

[@hipuppy12345]

That first story update legit made me cryyyy

[@trishtank]

Regarding the daughter who wants to alter the dress: I myself am in a lesbian relationship and I started presenting more and more masculine in the last years, and also have been wearing my mom's 80s clothes since I can remember. Yet I could never imagine destroying ANY of my mom clothes, let alone her wedding dress. Absolutely NTA! Actually I find really sweet to see that the mom is very open to compromises, like proposing the dress to the other bride. The daughter is entitled and clearly never experienced a bit of homophobia or as little as intolerance from her mother's side, otherwise believe me, she would have a completely different approach.

[@janasmith8315]

Absolutely!!!! It took a bit of time for my mom to come around to the fact that I am gay and in a relationship with my partner. I came out to my parents at a much later age than most do, and she had a bit of a hard time coming to grips with it. It's been a year and a half and my mom loves my partner and completely accepts it! However some people are just really ugly and hateful. Real homophobia is heartbreaking to the person it is aimed at.

[@intercat4907]

Great, great post.

[@draconicfeline6177]

People expect parents to be blindly 100% supportive yes-men as if they have no emotions or personhood of their own...! They are humans and imperfect and frankly with some stories, if the person REALLY experienced homophobia or transphobia, they'd understand the difference. A shocking amount of entitlement and lack of empathy in the LGBT+ community and as usual the most entitled are the ones that scream the loudest.

[@stevezelaznik5872]

Some people are addicted to drama. The bride in the first story should just get her own wedding dress/suit and make it however she pleases.

[@meganbenedyk2721]

I love watching your videos! I lost both my parents almost 3 years ago and watching your videos have been a good distraction for me when I’m feeling sad. 3 years feels like a long time, by when you said “2 years wasn’t that long ago” Really opened my eyes and in a way gave me permission to still feel the right to grieve my parents even though for me, it feels like a long time and I should be moving on and letting go. So thank you for saying that.

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

I'm so sorry for your losses! The first few years are usually the hardest for most people. Not just their death anniversary, but also other important days like holidays and birthdays. Most people never get over it, they learn to live around their loss. What you're going through is completely normal. There's no time limit and you are allowed to grieve the way you need to, not according to anyone else.

[@boogermaiden]

Two years is fast but still recent. 2022 was yesterday for me. 👀

[@trys24]

The wedding dress story was beautiful ❤

[@stischer47]

My mother was married in the middle of the Great Depression in a full-length wedding dress (in the 1930s style). She shortened it to use as a knee-length evening gown. I have photos of her in the wedding gown and the shortened evening gown. Stunning.

[@judyjohnson9610]

Good for her! It seems so wasteful to spend all that money but get little or no use from it. Even the though of saving it for a daughter. Well, you might not get a daughter, or she might be another body shape, or she just doesn'r see it as her style

[@tintinismybelgian]

It's been decades since one of my family members died, and I can't imagine organizing an event that would coincide with that date, much less a wedding.

[@sairi_a]

I WANTED AN UPDATE FOR THE LAST ONE!!

[@janscutter]

My workivesary and the passing of my father are 2 days apart. It’s always a struggle for me during that week. This year it was his 30th anniversary and I was in tears off and on the whole week. I am lucky enough to be in a company that is very supportive of all the people I work with are as well. I really appreciate everything that they have been supportive of me on.

[@mirandax0x]

I love what you said about bodies holding memories even when we're not consciously thinking about them. Today was the anniversary of one of my friends passing away and I woke up in such an incredible Funk that I couldn't get out of bed and then when I realized the day of the month I woke up dragged my butt out of bed and went and got flowers and took them up to the cemetery. Trauma very much stays alive

[@Qwertytink]

Totally crying about mom realizing and giving her the dress!!!!❤❤❤🎉

[@raenoway]

My dad died on the same day I accepted my dream job. It’s so hard hitting my work anniversary because it will always be associated with the day I lost someone so important to me. It’s only been two years and the grief is still real and sometimes raw. I don’t think I would be able to have my wedding anniversary on the same day as so much loss. It’s difficult to not associate those events.

[@Hazelmaediaz1375]

In the second story, I can relate to OP. The feelings, emotions, and sadness that surround a certain date. And you're exactly right. Days and weeks prior to said date, your subconscious starts in on you. It's very difficult, I've lost a child and that pain doesn't just disappear. Ever... 😢💔

[@time2livelife]

13:35 I bet she’s the kind of person who, even if her family went to the wedding to avoid confrontation, would get upset that everyone seemed distracted or sad at her wedding

[@ravenna99]

My nana passed away just before my husband and i' first anniversary, I would never have chosen that date or any of the other days people had passed before we got married. No matter the circumstances those days are their days and I fully respect that. We have been married 25 yrs this july :)

[@LazyIRanch]

I agree. I don't celebrate Mother's Day since my mom died, even though I am a mom, too. In 1989, the love of my life died, on Mother's Day. We were together eight years, planned to get married in Summer 1989. We would have been together that day, except I wanted to be with my mom and he wanted to be with his. Before going to his mother's house, a "friend" brought some "friends" over, and they were going to do a few bumps of cocaine. It wasn't cocaine, it was almost pure heroin, and it killed him. My brother got the call while we were with our mom's. Bert was his best friend, best man at his wedding, and my brother was to be best man at ours. When I saw my brother's face go pale, I knew it was Bert, and that he was dead. I screamed until I fainted.

[@ravenna99]

@@LazyIRanch I am so very sorry for your loss, the pain doesnt go away xxx

[@jessicaash9719]

A cousin got married on the day my sister died. It had only been a year. I didn't remember it was the date until my mom said something. My dad thought it would be good for us to go. A happy memory to have instead of a crappy reminder. I couldn't go due to work. My mom didn't want to go but promised my dad and grandma. Other things happened that day which also soured the mood. My extended family didn't even realize that it was the same day. I found out that my mom mentioned it a few times during the reception which my grandma got on her case about. My dad wasn't happy either as it wasn't the cousins intention. They didn't remember, nor should it matter. She may have been their cousin but they shouldn't have to plan their life around other people's death. I don't think my sister would want them to put their plans on hold or change their plans just because she died that day. It isn't how she would want to be remembered.

[@samr0que]

I feel like I'm gossiping with a good friend! Perfect after-work activity ☕

[@ThoughtfulPotato]

That last bride is so unbelievable! Look, I'm not the prettiest thing out there - wasn't on my wedding day 10 years ago either. My sister looked way more gorgeous than me... But here's the thing- I was marrying the man I loved and HE thought I was great!! Thats all that mattered! We had so much fun that day!! I actually loved how fabulous everyone looked at my wedding! Everyone showed up and looked their very best (Indian wedding) and I absolutely loove randomly scrolling through our wedding album and looking at all the happy faces! Why do you dull someone else's shine to feel brighter??

[@cheyennemundy9681]

The 2nd story is so heartbreaking! The bride really needs to try to understand how painful the date she wants for her wedding is for her grandpa and her aunt. They both lost a child, and for the grandpa, a wife, child, and grandchild. I myself have lost a child. The pain just can't be described. It just gets easier to bear as the years pass, but at just 2 years since the grandpa and aunt lost their children, that grief is still so fresh and raw for them. And they lost their spouses, so that's going to hurt a lot remembering their own weddings on her wedding day. Also, the bride has the option to change her wedding date. Her grandpa and aunt can't change the death dates of their loved ones.

[@xxkatanyaxx]

I hate how people on Reddit called the mom homophobic even though the mom explained that she was always supportive of her daughter. Even when there are parents who supports their kids, somehow everyone is evil or something.

[@ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed]

Cause people sometimes have smalls minds that cant expand to understanding complex human emotions. Everyone is trying to see things black n white. This or that type of style and NOTHING in this world is like that.😅

[@Flutter_Aeina]

Yeah it’s insane. I’m a bisexual woman in a lesbian relationship and i was absolutely stunned that people were calling her homophobic

[@ivettem9130]

Her family was the one that mentioned she didnt want to give up the dress because she wasn't comfortable with her daughters life choice thats is where people are getting that from.

[@flowerpower3618]

Because they claim everyone is now. I’ve just gotten to the point where I say ok I am. Let’s move on. I really don’t care . I’m over it.

[@Arkanna96]

@TheNorwegianForestKitten probably because the daughter is no longer considering herself a boy and is happy just being a non-girly woman? I can see why it would be a phase in this context, people are just quick to throw insults.

[@lina9535]

In contrast to the last story, when my sister got married (our country don't really do the whole bridesmaids/groomsmen thing, at most a MoH and/or Best Man (they don't really do the planning either)), so I was a regular guest. Since I don't really do dresses, my sister told me I could come dressed in my normal clothes (like sweats and a tshirt). I would have stuck out like a sore thumb in hindsight, but I managed to find something I was 75% comfortable with wearing.

[@Ciela531]

@Charlotte, my mom also had an unbelievable 80’s style wedding dress so I knew it wasn’t what I was going to wear. However I did hear this idea after getting married and really wish I had done it - you can take a small piece of fabric from your mom’s dress and have it cut in the shape of a heart and then sewn in to your dress somewhere (like over your heart on the bodice or something like that) - depending on the style of dress, you can choose to have it in a place that’s visible where it’s incorporated into the dress (especially if it’s a pretty glitter gold) or you can just have it sewn in underneath where no one would see it, but it’s still a part of your special day 🥰 I personally really wish I had done this with my mother and grandmother’s wedding dresses, I would’ve been really cool to me to have a piece of their weddings be a part of my special day as well, and also make my dress that much more sentimental now Just an idea 🤗 Hope you see this!

[@savannahnickel1041]

The update with the gown turned into a suit warms my heart SO much.. that's beautiful 🥹

[@annabelwilson809]

The mum and daughter dress story is so sweet! It’s so lovely to see a story where the mum puts her daughter’s current identity and style above her previous visions of seeing her “little girl” all grown up.

[@yuuriahl]

that second one made me gag I lost my Opa (great-grandpa) the morning after I proposed to my fiance and his funeral ended up being on my fiance's birthday only a month later, it was a no brainer that I had to go to be with my family as I was fairly close to my Opa and the loss was devastating because I couldn't say goodbye death, whether by accident or nature, is always an important thing to process, they say it takes 3 seconds for a negative memory to implant in your brain, but 15 second for a positive memory to do the same, this grief will be with you long after the happiness

[@spnfam-ily]

Why would anyone want their wedding to be synonymous with such a horrible loss

[@LoveMyFamilyCountry]

My husband & I got married 1 year and a day after his mother passed. He chose the day. He wanted it to be a happy time as well. This was 30 years ago in April. We still miss his mom and celebrate her life while celebrating our love for her & each other. For what it is worth, this is just a different perspective.

[@elylioney6390]

​@@LoveMyFamilyCountryit was his choice, so it works.

[@SxyeLaer]

​@@LoveMyFamilyCountry Your husband is different from the OP because it was his choice and his wedding day. This is because different people are now involved. While it is true that the daughter can make happy memories in that dreadful day, she shouldn't expect that others will follow through with her. Remember that wedding anniversary is not a celebratory day other than for the couple themselves. So I don't know how they can create happy memories knowing that multiple loved ones died during the same day.

[@LoveMyFamilyCountry]

@@SxyeLaer Right. I was not comparing my story to anyone. Just explaining why someone would do this since that was was the question in the comment. You can choose to make happy memories, or you can choose to wallow in it. My husband chose the latter. However, I do not need you to explain the concept to me. Thanks.

[@LoveMyFamilyCountry]

@@elylioney6390 Exactly my point. I was just explaining how someone could decide to make the time a happy time as well. Thank you for understanding !!!!

[@yukilullabi]

Gosh that first one made me tear up, so sweet

[@heezypeasy8611]

The update for the first story is so sweet! I'm glad they were able to figure it out!

[@oldschooldiy3240]

This is where I differ from the "normal" person....I would attend the wedding and wear the dress picked for me! I would not have my hair done, I would not wear makeup, and I would be wearing a large poncho to cover all of me and that dress! Let that be the talk of the wedding without "outshining" the bride and groom! I also picture myself printing up flyers explaining in detail why I am dressed that way, to hand to everyone with questions!

[@7ShadowMaiden7]

lol this is so petty I wish I could actually watch this happen in real life

[@wickiwo1098]

🤣

[@andydufresne5297]

But IRL this extreme action would just make everyone sympathize with the bride for having such a "whackadoo" sister.

[@oldschooldiy3240]

@@andydufresne5297 Until they read the flyer....

[@seameology]

😂😂🤣🤣😅 that works, too!

[@c_me_now]

I lost my husband 18 years ago on April 20th, and over the years, I have "not remembered" the anniversary consciously. Yet halfway through the day, I would suddenly start to feel run down and gloomy. Then, by the end of the day, it would hit me. It never really goes away. The memories are always just below the surface.

[@Lady_Ginnie]

Aw, that first one made me cry! Like, genuine, heartfelt tears, that's so SWEET!!

[@kelly6504]

Me too, well teary eyed. The second one too

[@makaylabyron972]

My favorite part about Charlottes videos is still how she screams subscribe! 😂 it gets me everytime.makes me always watch to the end.

[@meganhamill4019]

My family has a tradition where every bride gets a handkerchief that’s made of our grandmother’s wedding dress to have in a pocket or clip to an under layer of the dress on the day ❤

[@tiffywiffy2383]

Okay! How cute is this! ❤❤❤

[@alexisrushing7518]

In the first story the lapel of her suit could be lined or hemmed with the fabric of the dress. Even maybe some of her dress and making a tie or bow tie to go with the suite. I took a fashion design class my brain gets real creative! So happy they resolved at the end. My fiancé is masculine presenting I can only imagine what wedding decisions we will have to make ❤🫣🤣🤣

[@darkwolf453]

That first story made me want to cry, so beautiful❤❤😭

[@amalgamangel]

The last one reminded me of one of close friends. She has always been overweight like xxxxl, while me and a third close friend have shuttled bet xs & s. Suddenly the night after the engagement; she uninvited us both. We 3 are childhood friends so we were quite shocked and hurt ... Then we got to know from another friend that she didnt like the way we werr dancing at her engagement. Which confused us more because we were dressed classy and danced in a dignified way ... with each other ! We werent even dancing with the groomsmen. Just 2 lifelong friends dancing and being happy for our 3rd friend. But apparently we were garnering too much attention. We didn't talk to her for 3 years after that.

[@brittanysmith5498]

So proud of your red. Carpet yesterday. You slayed!

[@BrianAndresScott]

Me too, charlotte was awesome

[@mulligatawnysoup9281]

What red carpet???@@BrianAndresScott

[@BrianAndresScott]

@mulligatawnysoup9281 she was at the Juno awards for youtube I believe she did awesome she was live for 35 minutes she looked so beautiful it's in her live youtube

[@mulligatawnysoup9281]

Hello Brian, Thank you so much! I will check it out.@@BrianAndresScott

[@captainwatercress]

The first story ended up being so heart warming 💜

[@CreditR01]

12:35 - I really think Daughter needs to compromise here. Like, holy shit, it's been 2 years and her family lost 3 people within 24 hours of that accident. Why would you want your extended family to try and force back their pain just for a party? It's not just going to white out those bad memories.

[@elisabethronnqvist5527]

Sorry but its still wierd. Why do ppl get so STUCK on death? Instead they should celebrate life. So so tragic. The bride isn’t wrong. Shes still alive. Why isn’t a celebration for her life worth as much? There comes a time when its time to more on.

[@saltycat662]

@@elisabethronnqvist5527 Because it's only been two years and they're still grieving. They didn't just lose one person, they lost 3! Sorry but she was insensitive. She could have easily chosen another date. Why make it an anniversary of a wedding when it's an anniversary of death? That's morbid. Daughter has zero self awareness or empathy. She's a red flag.

[@elisabethronnqvist5527]

@@saltycat662 I guess my attitude ab life and death is a bit different bec of my work and all the conversations with those patients. I’m a palliative care nurse these days and done ab 200 clinical assessments after death. ”You only die once but you live each and every day”. I’ve lost my fare share of loved once in different ages but I was thought by my late Finnish father to cry losing them but mostly remember them and all the days we had together. Guess my upbringing around the older finnish generation thought me.

[@OkamiLyra]

@@elisabethronnqvist5527 You sound like someone who has no empathy. Disgusting.

[@Era515]

​@@elisabethronnqvist5527Losing 3 close family members suddenly and tragically is much more traumatic. It takes far longer to get over the grief. Usually it's only in the second year that the numbness wears off and reality really hits. Personally, I've found grief after someone has died suddenly and tragically lingers on much longer than an expected death. It seems to me that the daughter is either very self-centered, or she hasn't confronted her own grief and is distracting herself to avoid dealing with it.

[@mea_g_heera]

I love how certain people on the internet turn "I don't want my daughter to significantly change my wedding dress for her wedding, the wedding that I'm whole heartedly supporting and helping paying for" turns into you're homophobic, just 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 bravo redditors.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

It's not all redditors, as she was overall judged NTA. Just like in real life there will always be those people who like to turn everything into something. That is those individuals alone, not the entire group...as evidenced by being deemed NTA. Your own biases are showing when you generalize.

[@graciecat6344]

I read this story on Reddit, and those comments were mostly about the line "I even supported her when she proposed to her girlfriend." The word EVEN made it seem like a bit of a hardship for OP, so people were questioning how genuine her support and acceptance was. I also raised an eyebrow at that line. So it wasn't really all about the dress

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

@@graciecat6344 true...the wording definitely stuck out.

[@graciecat6344]

​@@SoManyRandomRamblings It made me suspicious of OP at first, but I think she redeemed herself in the update!

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

@@graciecat6344 exactly, past mistakes are easily forgiven when someone has become aware (because sometimes people just don't realize at first) and wants to truly do better, and then does better.

[@littleblueclovers]

7:49 “She looked beautiful in her dress, it was like I had always dreamed when she was my little girl, but she didn’t look like herself . Suddenly I knew that a lot of you had been right.” This part made me burst into tears. Sometimes things don’t go the way we imagine them to be, and we mourn for the times before change. There’s nothing homophobic about it, as it’s the same feeling when a parent cries seeing their child’s old baby clothes/toys. I’m glad the mom was able to notice this part of herself, and finally, truly, embrace her daughter 😭💕

[@roll3886]

Your grief doesn't disappear after a few years. I lost my bf years back and a week later my nephew was born and I had to slap on a smile and go to the hospital to see him, but it was so hard. Every year his birthday rolls around just after having to deal with the grief. My grandpa even offered a trip to Hawaii a few years after my bf's death and I didn't really give any good reason I just declined. My bf lived in Hawaii and I just couldn't...I'd be so upset the whole time and I couldn't deal with that. It would've been too overwhelming for me.

[@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes]

I have a cousin who was literally born the exact same day that my brother died. His mom still checks on my mom, every year on that day. Bridezilla needs to be evaluated.

[@roll3886]

@@Good.Morning.Petty.Potatoes Your body definitely feels a weird mix of emotions. You feel sad and upset, you're lost in the memories yet you want to be happy and support the child on their birthday and help them celebrate. It's like your emotions are in a tornado inside of you, mixing all together. I am sorry for your loss.

[@TheBaumcm]

⁠​⁠@Burger_pants”deal with it properly”. Okay, I’ll call you not only callous, but also self righteous, virtue signaling and patronizing. You don’t sound particularly attached to anyone, which is somewhat normal for people who have been abandoned in the past but not normal on the whole. Maybe that’s why you’re able to move on so easily but simply feeling some kind of way about it on the day they pass isn’t “shutting down for days”.

[@ChefSarah4104]

Love me some Judge Charlotte! 🧑‍⚖️

[@thomasschneider8474]

The first story made me cry - the mother’s decision in the end and her explanation is so wholesome. ❤ The second story - what I don’t get: does the daughter have absolutely no feeling of grief? Those were her relatives, too that died.

[@tiffymcconkey]

17:57 It sounds like OP lives rent free in FSIL head every single day.

[@Shimmer-04-7-]

Judge Charlotte is just what we need and the live yesterday was amazing :)

[@meredit77]

2:39 yes she promised she could wear it but that doesn’t include altering it to the point it isn’t recognizable. Chances are mom said yes because she felt guilt and wanted to make her daughter happy, but it is a memory of her wedding day including her husband who has passed away. I can understand her not wanting it taken apart. Personally I think the daughter should just get a suit set.

[@EvaMetalhankle]

I loved the outcome of the 1st one... I can't believe the 2nd one, grief has no expiry date and shit...it can last forever.

[@marvinmageVA]

I think that first story is the sweetest one that Charlotte has ever read, there's no hatred between OP and her daughter, just misunderstandings that through healthy communication (and a bit of wine) led to a beautiful moment and a stronger bond between mother and daughter 😊❤

[@hollywallace4792]

The mother daughter story has me all choked up. ❤😢