Michael McIntyre's Best Stories | Stand Up Comedy

Compilation of the best stand up comedy stories by Michael McIntyre.
Clips taken from Michael McIntyre's Big Show, The Royal Variety Performance and from Michael's stand up special Showtime.
Watch Michael's stand up comedy special Showman, streaming now on Netflix!
www.netflix.com/title/8125897...
.
Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/
Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre
Twitter: @McInTweet

[@ninin3558]

this guy got me through my depression. in all seriousness. I used to watch him, almost the whole day, just so i can laugh and forget about all the stuff in my brain. im really grateful to him.

[@mydearfrankly6055]

Holy Cow, I was just thinking the same thing! Watching him is therapeutic for my depression like no other comedian. Maybe his unrelenting energy and pace forces my brain to "hurry up" a bit to keep up, resulting in a kick start to better synaptic function. I believe in Ackle Ackinckacker!

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

Everytime im down or lonely I watch him, it’s such good fun and my spirits lift….

[@susankeeley1733]

Ditto.

[@bridgetteschwartz4630]

You just made me realise why I can't go to bed without watching him 😂.. to cheer me up!!

[@jaynerosephotography]

Me too. When I can’t sleep I go straight to listening to him.

[@The-Hound]

Being happy in this society is hard to pull off. He does it naturally.

[@shirin8609]

Why is it hard?

[@The-Hound]

@@shirin8609 your likely born into this society discontinuing history and old ways that are better than this crappy society now.

[@The-Hound]

@balr Yea sure it is, living in a world with no freedom of speech, disrespect and dishonor. May be easy for you but for many. Whats to smile about when you see society fall from the heights of the British History to a world similar to a 2035 Demolitionman society. How far this country and society has fallen.

[@The-Hound]

Balr yea and what happened, everything falls. Plus I ain’t getting the fuck out of anywhere.

[@gertelt]

@@The-Hound u sound depressed, life aint what its cracked up to be its what u make it

[@jerome8361]

This man literally brightens up my days during the darkest times.

[@sheilaburns8977]

After reading just a few news headlines, I had to watch Michael because I truly needed a laugh. PEACE to ALL ... and STAY SAFE and HEALTHY.

[@kari4225]

I hear that , serious !!!!

[@olivia6063]

Need Michael so much right now. He makes me laugh even in the worst days. Brilliant comedian!

[@saharalkhelaiwi6945]

Absolutely! That’s why I came here

[@rscats67]

Me too! I'm laughing so hard it brings tears to my eyes. So glad he shares his craft with us here. The world is making me very sad right now and this is such a relief.

[@Concetta20]

I cried with laughter over the Norwegian hotel story.

[@rachelmclaughlin1491]

I was wheezing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ninaelsbethgustavsen2131]

5.5 million Norwegians ; "Light switch problem" ??? Love from Oslo 😘

[@landlice48]

Absolutely Brilliant and relatable material. I can’t stop smiling!

[@EdnaEngel]

ש'

[@DarthTwilight]

That was a GREAT story

[@atrixcanada7204]

I love his gestures and the way he acts, he does his skippy walk, uncontrollable hair, and his face and the way he wears his suit in the dentist joke. It’s just amazing

[@julieboyd7655]

I am generally not fond of stand up comedians but I love Michael mcintyre, he is the best. I love his version of the kiwi accent. I am a kiwi so I can really appreciate it.

[@majaflajnik4770]

I'm a dentist - this is the best story I've ever heard 🤣🤣

[@barbarameroody821]

⅞I will will get in in see 👀 😀 pp

[@2611kk]

Dont lie you drove him to the hospital 😂

[@lolamkofficial351]

Drove and left him there to figure it out lol

[@infiniteinspiration1628]

Brilliant 😂

[@Huntedj20]

most relatable comedians in the history of the world. I relate to almost everything!

[@b2bconnectnow]

I think especially when he talks about life with Oscar & Lucas! That floors me every time :-) :-)

[@genacrooker9768]

This pure gold comedy, he doesn't pick on people , he doesn't have to use the race card like every male american comic. I love this man. He's the best.!

[@openmindist]

Try Jim Gaffigan

[@theoargyros3618]

Michael is one of the very few comedians that can make me laugh

[@LaFlaneuse0]

Impwethif

[@corbinjiang4616]

I’ve practically memorized all of these stories, doesn’t even make them any less entertaining. What an iconic man.

[@julieworsley5048]

he is so light hearted about everything when I'm feeling down he always cheers me up especially recently with whats happening with covid

[@julieboyd7655]

I agree

[@julieboyd7655]

I agree. He is great

[@alissaschnoll2842]

As a dentist his wisdom tooth story is hilaaaaarious 😂😂😂 I always cry laughing when watching it! This men is a legend 😂

[@katherinewolfe]

I've been to he dentist a lot (I have those soft Irish teeth) and maybe it's all those times in the chair, leaking blood and trying to make yourself understood around all the stuff in your mouth and your numb face that makes this so incredibly funny. When you've been there it makes it too hilarious to bear.

[@scottali3259]

Mr ackinkacker xD

[@nikolibolokov4521]

Yeh but it can't be true

[@amayastrata4629]

My roommate extracted one of my wisdom teeth. She was a dental assistant in the RAF and wanted to retrain as a dental hygienist so she persuaded the dentist and me to let her extract it. It was fine but she climbed on top of the chair with the extraction device in order to achieve it.

[@innaalferov9565]

The dentist story made me laugh so hard it became hysterical. You know, one of those crazy kinds of laughs. Then I ended up crying and was just going back and forth and it's so difficult to stop. Now I'm sitting here looking like a mess, but boy did I need that.

[@Mushroom321-]

😂😅

[@JosephineWatson-wd4pi]

I’m glad I wasn’t watching it live because I’m pretty sure they would have put me in one of those jackets that tie up at the back and put me in a lovely comfy padded room, had anyone seen me during that! I love this guy 🤣🤣

[@annachase6036]

I love how he tries to do animal impressions and ends up basically screaming like a crazy man in front of members of the royal family but it's the most entertainment you could ask for

[@littlemisstaniamatakupan3193]

IKR? My Mom actually asked me why I was watching A crazy man🤣

[@marybreckle4928]

Favourite of all time. He is just brilliant, love him to bits, makes my lide bearable 😂

[@marybreckle4928]

Oops that was meant to be life xx

[@anguseggo]

Our current nightly routine is: 1) Watch (depressing) evening news, followed quickly by: 2) Michael McIntyre videos, to reverse the emotional effects of watching the news

[@dermothickey137]

Note to self: Don't watch the news, watch McIntyre twice instead. Eliminate the "depressing" and double the high.

[@EugenieHeraty]

Sod the evening news. If it's mainstream, it's probably generously laced with propaganda.

[@mariamassey5468]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO COMEDY...THAT'S FUNNY

[@AK-jt7kh]

@X R Same! I don’t follow the news or the media. I never did because when I was a kid in Sunday school they told me god was merciful, but also he asked this guy to murder his son. Then when I tried to argue with the Sunday school teacher she told me I needed to be quiet because I was disrupting the class. That’s when I stopped listening to all forms of media 😂 I used to get such flack for it growing up too. Adults would try to run an “intervention”. Now that I’m older and I can do my own research properly, my opinions are my own, and I’m so glad I was a stubborn kid.

[@donnaaston1795]

Lol so true. That's me again right now.

[@ollieashman]

Definitely the best observational comedian ever imo

[@annelieswallace237]

Ollie Ashman Oh no! THE best observational comedian is DAVE ALLEN!!!!

[@ollieashman]

@@annelieswallace237 he's a classic but I still prefer Michael :)

[@dalenewhite4741]

Love him!

[@staceyrashkin2609]

He is fantastic, but the are others such as Eddie Izzard. Watching Eddie Izzard was the best laugh I've had in years. Michael McIntyre gave me that kind of laugh again

[@RustyPeng]

Lee Evans tho...

[@mst4309]

That dentist part is definitely his longest one, and it doesn’t disappoint!

[@EOlson-vt1od]

This ranks up there with the Tim Conway bit as the best dental humor in recorded history.

[@shananalexander9789]

I love that one

[@chloebobs1]

Looooooooove the dentist story Xxx

[@cassoIa]

It’s imprinted in my mind 😂 Probably one of the first skits/story I saw from him :’)

[@Kylie_h]

MY NAME IS ACANCACA!

[@lornacanovas6223]

The “bird” that sounds like a child screaming was a fox 😂😂

[@mrsminnatk3992]

Yes!!

[@elliephant4488]

Yup! Bless him. lol

[@starlingswallow]

Well then what was the fox noise? 😂😂

[@soot.gremlin1056]

You can tell he’s never lived in the country before 😂😂

[@jondunmore4268]

@@starlingswallow -- The fox noise was Beelzebub.

[@viktoriyakaltcheva7983]

I don’t remember the last time I had laughed this hard I literally could not take a breath just pure genius this man is!!!

[@laoricevinge6641]

Can't beat Michael and his gestures! Edit: Oh gosh, thank you for 100 likes!

[@carpii]

I’d like to try

[@simonehawkins5520]

I just gave you 400 😉

[@laoricevinge6641]

@@simonehawkins5520 :D thank you, Simone!

[@amethyst1826]

483 now.

[@burn8325]

Don’t thank for likes. It’s toxic. Also you got 500 likes, not a Nobel prize. Calm down.

[@Jacky9071]

I heard a noise once in the night, I woke my husband and said “I can hear a noise down stairs” he said “ go and have a look, if you have any trouble give me a shout” !

[@julieworsley5048]

we hear a noise downstairs these days and think its probably the cat lol.

[@gavrochethenardier957]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@catherine382]

I am very glad to have found this wonderful comedic genius. No sex, violence or cruelty, just good, clean fun...I am dry humored and do not find most comedians funny, he makes me laugh until my ribs hurt..He is great at lifting any sad or depressing moments..Healing without medicine... Thank you..😂😂😂

[@naturalbby1722]

“You might as well ask the burglars how they found the place!” 😭😭😂

[@michellemcnamara6022]

"I think I'll make him the man of the house on this occasion!" Nearly died laughing 🤣🤣🤣

[@NTValerie]

I love how his hair is it's own character

[@satyannair4837]

You mean it has a life of its own. Agreed.

[@stormysnyder4693]

LoL I agree ... but it always looks good! Mine has a mind of its own too but unfortunately doesnt look so good. 😆

[@Nikita-jo4cl]

Hahaha so true! It reminds me of the comedy show Alf many years ago and how alf’s hair bobbed up and down emphatically

[@nathankaye1577]

His hair could have its own stand up show 🤔🇬🇧

[@nathankaye1577]

@Jasmine George get a life

[@aviralgoel1474]

Who thinks he is one of the best comedians alive....hit like

[@nadaklen3254]

He is a genius of comedy!

[@prvfluvy8908]

Russell Howard is also amazing

[@pamwalker6284]

THE best!

[@comedygirl_04]

@Jasmine George are you good

[@prvfluvy8908]

Jasmine George How don’t you know him?

[@tataari]

“Suicidal pigeons”so true! Who wants to him to get 1 million subs?

[@asadkhan41639]

Good one about pigeon

[@alexwright4760]

This man literally cheers me up when I'm feeling the lowest of the low.. thank you Michael

[@TMarshConnors]

The only comedian who consistently makes you laugh from common everyday matters. Michael is hilarious!!

[@gazwhu6533]

No he aint

[@GreenClassified]

​@@gazwhu6533 go eat your kfc bucket and shuddup

[@seraphie]

I like that his jokes are neither vulgar nor offending

[@MamaRavensCreations]

My husband has checked in on me multiple times because I've been laughing so damn hard!!! So funny but it's clean humor! It's amazing 😍 Keep shining bright and being badass!! Thank you for being you & sharing your gift with the world!

[@kimstyles4006]

He does so much with the simplest things that I just can't ever stop laughing. He's a cure for the Blues and a blessing to the soul😀😀😀😄😘

[@karynsmith7655]

I have watched his dentist bit 100 times and every time I laugh so hard!!!! It never gets old

[@khinzakhan66]

Ackle akinkaker is my fav story 😂😂 I have watched it so many times 😂😂😂😂

[@kathleen109]

I can so relate to the hospital gown story, as I asked the nurse the same thing when I had neck surgery. Why do I have to take my underwear off for neck surgery? I was told, "In case your underwear falls off during surgery." Um what? My underwear doesn't have a habit of falling off when I'm standing, much less lying down. They really need to work on their answer for that question.

[@shaaddhillon3819]

Hahahaha

[@carlawatton4651]

It's in case you are sedated for longer than expected and they need to insert a catheter (I'm a nurse). Sorry you didn't get that explained.

[@eoghanbannon-wright5689]

@@carlawatton4651 is it true that you can shit yourself when sedated or is that just a myth

[@robsharman3713]

@Eoghan Bannon-Wright My wife is a retired theatre Sister. She says it is not uncommon, under general anaesthesia, for a patient to lose control of the bowel and the open-gown-no-underwear is to clean up easier if this happens.

[@eoghanbannon-wright5689]

@@robsharman3713 thanks it was just one of them randon thoughts

[@northernstar7141]

Pure gold. Not just a comedian , he is a Light Bringer of the darkest days. This brilliant mind of his should be officially recognised with a reward. Thank you, Michael.

[@ethanatkinson9948]

Best comedian in the world

[@pathenley4273]

I listen to the dentist story often. It makes me laugh every time. So hysterical. Love Ichael Akenkaker. ❤️

[@FutureLeonardo]

🤣

[@silviatb3500]

Watched on the train. I could control my laugh up until the dentist story. Tears came out and I think that because I had the mask on, the lady in front of me didn’t know if I was crying or laughing 😅🤣🤣🤣

[@deborahdanielson8901]

These days, after unending quarantine, I am so grateful for all comedians, especially this one😂😂😂

[@totalcontrol4205]

Brilliant! Have watched the same routines over and over and it's just as funny everytime. Bless him for cheering us up and for doing it without bringing politics into it...just good old-fashioned comedy.

[@chi2153]

Love this man😂😂 everything we needed in quarantine

[@captainchainsaw8856]

You're easily pleased.

[@chi2153]

Captain Chainsaw ?

[@chi2153]

Lily Rider exactly!

[@eijonasson]

Has this man done a special on the covid 19 scenario. If not ... suspect he is working at it as we speak.

[@eijonasson]

@@captainchainsaw8856 Yet again another caustic comment from Captain Crunch. This is not the Dark Web. Name like your I suspect you are wandering around on the Sunnyside...hopelessly lost

[@SheOnEarth]

Omg the water tap was so relatable!! 😂😂 one time I wanted to use the hand dryer at a venue and I thought it was automatic, I kept waving my hand and I struggled for a while then I realized I needed to press the button for it to work lol the bathroom was crowded and everyone was looking at me, it was so embarrassing! Haha 😂😂😂

[@teresadelaney1361]

I've been there....I legged it,couldn't take the shame 😆

[@catbarr924]

The dentist story is one of my all time favourite Michael moments! Just so so funny

[@bronwynreijnders7205]

My favourite thing about MM is that he is hysterically funny without being vulgar or using (excessive) swearing.

[@sharonready5102]

He makes me literally laugh out loud ! He makes it all look so easy , but it’s the way he tells ‘em !

[@thecatesclan]

Home sick today, put this on, and now I feel 10x better. The living in the country bit was just too much, I couldn't stop laughing! Thanks for brightening my day!

[@outsideedge43]

I have actually watched this twice now and will probably watch it many more times. I absolutely laugh to hard that my body is having laughter spasms, tears are rolling down my face uncontrollably and I couldn't form words if I wanted to. Unfortunately I had downloaded this and was listening to it on part of a nine hour mountainous drive in the dark. I think I almost died of laughter. What a way to go. He's fantastic!

[@S.R.Crnt.]

His style of comedy is so refreshingly innocent and sweet. But absolutely hilarious. He's such a great storyteller

[@suemcdermott3482]

Great time to watch Michael McIntyre as we have been put back in to lock down and nobody knows what going to happen next so instead of stressing about it l am going to enjoy my night with Michael LoL 😂😜

[@vondamorphew3505]

Sue McDermott What country do you live in? I’m just wondering if a second lockdown is coming to the U.S.

[@suemcdermott3482]

@@vondamorphew3505 Australia

[@teresadelaney1361]

Well done you sue McDermott! Thank god for people like Michael McIntyre.....keep laughing! ♥️

[@sharonmullins1957]

@@vondamorphew3505 I don't think we have ever not been on lock down.

[@FeAngel98]

Just came to the comments to say the same thing.. uk 🇬🇧 lockdown #2

[@bennitob8]

I think before admiring his art of comedy we need to respect the fact that he makes us laugh without hurting any ethnicity, minority, religion, group age, gender...after Mr Bean Mike is absolutely second best and maybe he might become the best

[@joeeeee256]

Agreed, although tbh there's no point comparing them, they are both fantastic! 😀

[@burner472]

Interestingly, being a white British man, he’s literally a minority in his own capital city 😂 London is only 45% white British

[@bertruleshard]

​@@burner472 it's 46%. Stop making facts up.

[@AbsAli02]

“Please let me go” ahaha I’m crying

[@abornbuyer]

It's 3 in the morning and I couldn't sleep so what do I do? I put on Michael McIntyre and now I'm crying and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard! He is absolutely amazing!!!

[@kostaburgess4373]

Best comedian on earth, no question

[@gazwhu6533]

NEVER

[@emilyorton8248]

As soon as I hear the words "I've had 5 teeth out", I know I'm in for a laugh 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@zxerps]

I died where he went WTF HAVE YOU DONE TO ME

[@robynkiernan4137]

You make the most ordinary, simple things absolutely hilarious. Cry laughing even when a little bit down. Thankyou so much.. You are a true joy! Xxxx

[@lolinnitfam9045]

I love how his hair bounces when he laughs

[@julieannewooder4557]

Thank goodness for Michael McIntyre! He's.just the funniest comedian around. Always makes me laugh, even when I've had a horrible day. Am really looking forward to his show on Netflix in September.

[@kitty6720]

The Living in the countryside house" bit had me in stitches, especially the moments where he was mimicking the birds, the fox, etc.

[@donnakerr4997]

I’m sitting here December,2021 trying sooo hard not to fall off my chair laughing. This guy is absolutely HILARIOUS

[@PammieGonzalez]

That tooth incident was one of the funniest stories I've ever heard!!

[@beverleyannexoxo]

The dentist sketch is your best ever!! I’m in tears of laughter every time I watch it 🤣🤣🤣 Love it!! 😍

[@lizzle13a]

Im crying laughing so hard! For the last time... my name is ACINKARER!

[@daphneraven6745]

This man is absolutely hilarious! Somebody, send the MacIntyre kids a text to show their dad how to turn on the light on his cell phone, if you have any care at all for the man. :)

[@DragonsSongStudios]

That bird that sounds like a child screaming in the woods is a fox 😂

[@SmukkeRianna]

Omg I almost strangled myself with laughter on the dentist part 😂😂😂

[@tasha-db2nd]

I'm terribly scared of the dentist but this was just hillarious 😂😂😂

[@nicolarollinson4381]

I've been working in the depths of the countyside in the UK and everything he says is true. 😂

[@musab5khalaf]

He is just on another level, a league of his own. nothing beats this level of comedy. nothing makes me laugh easily and it takes some serious talent to do so, this guy is a GENIUS, he effortlessly makes me laugh my guts out.

[@10ksubsnovideos14]

To the person who is reading this' You're amazing stay blessed, stay safe and have an amazing rest of your day 😊

[@marylynne9104]

Right back at you, 😁

[@starlingswallow]

You too!!!!

[@sharonmullins1957]

Stay safe.

[@divinekate]

Thank you right back at you..😊

[@KrisAdamsTV]

This man is a national treasure. I saw him live. It was so amazing!!!

[@denisestovin3522]

He is the best ever. And the sounds he makes are fantastic. Never disappoints.

[@Lew699]

Ive seen this like 5 times and still laugh every time hysterically!!!

[@michelleparrishhayes310]

I laugh so hard whenever I see his dentist bit. I've watched it a few times and it is still as funny as it was the first time. If he ever comes close to where I live (I live in North Carolina, US) I'm gonna go see his show!

[@AH34369]

Thing about Michael is that he makes fun of the different situations that would make us annoyed and pissed off while also educating about life he’s definitely a smart and funny man.

[@sammylpt9076]

I'll never forget the first time I heard foxes calling out, I honestly thought zombies might actually be real.

[@thefox5997]

Yes but what does the fox say?

[@nicholasghoulson9949]

@@thefox5997 brains?

[@Peace4All09]

Your a life saver in lock down matey, i get great belly wobbling laughs that help me forget carona virus. Goodonya Michael 😂

[@hannahreynolds7611]

I've seen Arkle Ackinkacker/Pants Down before, but I was still doubled up crying with laughter throughout.

[@ilovesuisse1]

Hannah Reynolds me too

[@cyndismith4939]

All I want to know is why this man has been hidden from me all this time. Absolutely marvelous.

[@goaway2803]

Great thing to watch before sleep. I was so happy after a rough day. Thank you and take care of yourself, Mate 💚💛

[@unbareability7066]

Seen this segment many times, but still I'm in hysterics!! I have stitches and bordering a headache I laughed so hard! 😂😂😂

[@TheTruthKiwi]

He is very very good. His book is an absolute hoot too btw. He taught himself comedy the hard way doing tiny standup venues and apparently didn't get any /many laughs for years. I think he may have been humble exaggerating a bit there

[@viviennedunbar3374]

I can imagine him being super cringe as a posh, camp, chubby bloke until he got his delivery right!

[@Josh-eq1cq]

Awesome!! Best comedian ever!

[@puppylover4658]

I love michael mcintyre....i forgot how funny he is.....watching it at 6am trying not to wake everyone in the house up with me lmao......brilliant.....keep em comin....new sub 🙂

[@maeguk1]

I died of laughter on how he was trying to say his name with the help of his fingers...

[@carolekohl-duggan9982]

Michael never has trouble to find subjects for his comedy...he just watches us...and we all are truly laughing at ourselves!!! He is a meister mimic, and has an adorable personality.❤😅

[@xoxo62477]

The forest bird impression somehow summoned my cat...

[@shanie7192]

Sorting through paperwork in my "office", watching Michael, husband came in to tell me he can't hear anything over my laughter. Great !!

[@kristenfromOZ]

He is an incredible man brings so much joy

[@evelynboada5915]

I have lost count of the number of times I have watched this and I am still weeping with laughter. He is the funniest commediene I have ever seen.

[@mercynamikoye9084]

The directions is everyday life in Africa. Yes the roads have clear labeled names and the roads are even on Google but noooo someone will use a plant as a landmark!

[@bridgetdonovan3290]

oh i can relate so hard, travel a lot (not currently 😔) and the places i frequently visit, it’s always the big trees that tell me we’re going the right way, just goes to show how similar we all really are

[@Mad-RCandHOBBY]

"How did you find the place?" 😂👍

[@omgnorrisnuts5941]

"You do diz You do dat iDiOt" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@knoxywon]

Absolute Gold! Eickle Ackincaker is one of his best bits ever! I’ve seen it a dozen times and p!ss myself every time!

[@milliecastell7701]

Best comedian ever 🙌

[@livherman2047]

The ‘bird that sounds like a child screaming child’ is a fox I live in the country and all u hear is shrieks from these foxes talking to eachother

[@Louis-yn8gt]

'talking to each other' lmao

[@cloudten8489]

I think it's a peacock, that definitely sounds like a screaming child, so spooky.

[@livherman2047]

Linda Sharp nope definitely a fox sometimes i watch them shriek at eachother 😂

[@idaborgelt8751]

I know, for ages I too thought it was bird but then I saw them shrieking to ea other. Very scary

[@noahzive1266]

Liv Herman so that’s what the fox says...

[@elliephant4488]

OMG!! I nearly peed myself I was laughing so much. I actually watched this cross-legged.

[@b2bconnectnow]

OMG I've seen this many times and still nearly spit my tea out every time :-) he cracks me up!!! :-)

[@myles0_0]

He always makes my day better. 💙💙😂☺️

[@rickmatt100]

Michael McIntyre is the only Comedian that make me laugh............

[@rosieleigh6431]

I’ve just started listening to Michael tonight, had seen some of his skits before. Really do believe that he will get me through my depression somewhat. Been feeling desperately low of recent. Guys, try tuning into some of Ricky Gervais and Karl Pilkington’s Podcasts. Thank god for these guys.

[@SteelTreeGone]

I love his shows he’s so funny I would love to meet him in person