Midweek with Dr. Carter- When Narcissists Make You The Problem

[@deenadamico2673]

Listen carefully to a narcissist's projection: those accusations are the closest you'll get to confessions.

[@eadler5929]

Was listening to some tapes I made of my ex. Almost every accusation was something he had done or would soon do.

[@roselikethewine]

Dr. Carter made this exact statement. Verbatim.

[@KL-pq3mz]

TRUTH!!! Absolutely yes.

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@Jethorus]

Once I started learning about narcissism she started accusing me of being a narcissist

[@adimeter]

I stayed with my toxic friend/hairdresser 35-40 yrs. I knew she lied to me about me--gaslighting. I guess that was trauma bonding. But after getting educated on these channels I have now been no contact for 1 yr and 9 months. I also dumped the other toxic people who have made strange derogatory devaluing comments to me. Instead of letting them bring me down, I have been lifted up on these channels. What a wonderful sense of freedom. Thanks Dr. Les Carter.

[@danitaminer6863]

OMG your hairdresser? What happened? I've been in hairdresser for 36 years and I couldn't imagine ever being hateful to a client.

[@billiefitzgerald8338]

I love the phrase "lied to me about me"!

[@sylviaamodeo7090]

You got it,,,,,, Thank GOD

[@Lcubed100]

Agreed

[@Bbop007]

Flying monkeys

[@chelleb3055]

Weirdly I was just sitting here thinking to myself, "they always found a way to make ME the problem - how do I come to terms with this?" and this popped up. Synchronicity!

[@angi77angi4]

Narcs never take responsibility..they project blame on others..their problems are always the fault of others ..don't buy into it

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Great timing!

[@aaronkwolfe]

Coincidence? I think not. {grin}

[@keplermission4947]

'Synchronicity' is an attempt to come up with an explanation for the occurrence of highly improbable coincidences between events where there is no causal link. It's based on the premise that existing physics and mathematics cannot explain such things. 'Uncle Joe' was a Red Commie who said: "“When there's a person, there's a problem. When there's no person, there's no problem.” Stalin was a Machiavellian psychopath, known as a Mach and sent any problem people to the Gulag. He would have shipped you to Siberia in a cattle truck with not enough room to sit, standing all the way.

[@christinalw19]

DITTO. Was trying to have a text convo with my 80 yr old narc sister. She lives in LaLaLand. All the time. 🙄

[@harmonyvaneaton4101]

You can tell a Narcissistic person that you won't accept raging, verbal abuse, or threats anymore. They will say you are trying to control them.

[@astrialindah2773]

And when they say that, you tell them nope I'm just trying to control me..

[@aspenmoon1619]

Verbatim!!!!!

[@harmonyvaneaton4101]

@@MCat-yv3hl Yes, which they will view as you abusing and trying to control them. Or they will try to stop you from getting away from them, maybe by force. It's impossible.

[@harmonyvaneaton4101]

@@aspenmoon1619 Don't I know it....

[@marieldavison5121]

A friend of mine had a stroke quite young in her early fifties and became completely paralyzed on one side. She was forced to live in an assisted living center. After a few years of visiting her regularly she once said to me : "You are the only person who comes to see me that doesn't say that they can't stay as soon as they walk into the room". Most of her friends went on with life and only myself and her sister visited with any regularity. I was shocked to go to her packed funeral with all these "friends" that I knew never saw her in years. You really find out who really cares about you when something like that happens. Your hospital visitation story reminded me of this Dr C. I don't want to waste my time on superficial crappy bread crumb relationships. I want the full Monty.

[@TC-gx3qn]

Yes mam! Could not agree more.

[@SlobArt]

I started to see that with my family. I’m an adult 2nd generation cousin of a bunch of narcissists who lectured me on how “Important family is” when I was growing up. I took it very seriously. Only until I became an older adult did I start to recognize their hypocrisy. Then, the sessions with Dr C. cleared the fog. Now I fully understand why I don’t fit it. To your point; all of my cousins never see their 100 yr old aunt but I, the 2nd generation; love to see her even if she doesn’t remember a day later. She smiles when I see her. She does her Word Search Puzzles. She reminisces. I’m very disappointed in the narcs in my life but I know when she passes I will absolutely be heartbroken. They won’t understand. They never will.

[@marieldavison5121]

@@SlobArt Your Aunt🧓 is so lucky to have you💁‍♀. Spending quality & quantity time with her has probably contributed to her longevity and contentment. From my experience the narcs come calling with the attitude "If there's a Will I want to be in it" and if their not they'll threaten to sue! Sending good vibes💞 your way it's not easy being an empath in a world full of narcs.

[@bereal6590]

This is incredibly true. It's happened to me. I got very sick still am. Not a single work friend contacted me. I'd lost most friends whilst being with a narc partner who made me sick.... realised my fam are toxic and narcissistic. Narc ex still a pain fam don't even ask how im feeling. My oldest friend of 40 years lives across country and said "oh im so worried about you", then I didn't hear from them for 4 months and when I did despite me saying things are difficult they just wrote all about their own life which is great btw. What's good Is I now see I have had good people in my life but after growing up with toxicity I didn't know the difference! Now I do so if I get better I will definitely cherish those who are when I meet them and not waste my time on those who aren't worth it. I simply never knew and was too scared to be myself and risk rejection but now I know the difference and most importantly I know they're worth it and im worth it. I feel so bad for your friend, truly it's heartbreaking and I know how it feels. Lovely to see there are people like yourself out there, who are loving and caring, it's the best way to be 👏✋ Best wishes 😊

[@bereal6590]

@@SlobArt my cousins didn't even go to their uncles funeral. You're a loving person doing what's right. I think our emotional lives are fuller for it, I know what you mean about realising why the light bulb goes on about why we don't fit in with them. Your aunt sounds so sweet and she has a lovely niece ✌

[@roxyabrooks864]

A problem to a Narcissist: Your healthy boundaries and sincere resistance to their drama, lies and assorted immaturities. Go, Team Healthy! 🏋️

[@TC-gx3qn]

💪🏿

[@anyscaleclassics6880]

as soon as I realised there was a difference between someone having a bad day, and being a narc, I could start cutting people out. online vids like this helped me with that. I can handle someone having a bad day and making a mistake, but continual instances and general bad attitude make me walk away. It's helped me immeasurably.

[@VOCALCHEMY]

Knowledge is powerful facts

[@dcg31free]

I need to get away from the narc 😢 I can't take the stress, anxiety, cortisol, my health is deteriorating. The way he manages to make me feel I'm the one who's off and crazy 😞. This sucks. I know who I am. A loving person who just wants to be happy. 🙏❤

[@chayo4537]

Yes you can! You're an empath!

[@nicholecornes1915]

I know I was never so sick in my life being with my husband 😢 I got way healthier when he discarded me! It hurts but better off

[@butterflygirl2285]

Growing up I received one version of reality from the narcissistic parent. It was a shock to enter college, and find out what was really going on in the world. During my journey through life I continue to unravel all the untruths that were told to me. Being raised by a narcissist has actually caused me to be a stronger, more compassionate, and better person. Dr. C has been a big help in this area by speaking in a down to earth, and kind manner.

[@lynettebrunton5540]

Your comment has given me hope.🥰

[@iamgoddessoflove]

"Narcissists will destroy your life, erode your self-esteem, and do it with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that’s letting them down and paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. 💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships "

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

BTW, Dr. C, My soon to e EX-husband is a subscriber of your channel and watches and reads our comments. It makes him "boiling mad" Soooo here's a shout out to my EX-husband Oscar. I am still here and THRIVING..

[@Juke582]

He will disappear soon for sure as they can’t face who they are at all and are in total denial! They want to keep you in a confused & sad state! Keep thriving and go no contact forever as they will never change as it’s not possible for them!

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

@@Juke582 Absolutely Mary. You should find it interesting, that my EX-husband had been watching Dr. C's channel for YEARS BEFORE we met. I found that out, when Dr. C's video notifications kept popping up in his laptop when I was using it, 2 months after we got married. Which tells me he KNEW he is a narc, and he was most likely trying to "polish" his narcissim. Most of the narc videos he was watching and researching was about being a COVERT narc. By the time I met him, he had just about "perfected" his covert narcissim, that he hid very well during our 4 months of dating before getting married. I guess he couldn't hide it any more and/or it was getting to him, so he EXPLODED with RAGE on the 2nd day of our honeymoon. He caught me one night very, very late, listening to Dr C., went ballistic broke my phone, threw it out the window, and that was also the first out of MANY Domestic Violence assaults he unleashed on me, just 3 months into the marriage, that resulted into 2 wrist fractions, a concussion and his arrest on Valentine's Day 2020, in the middle of NYC Covid 19 shut downs. I left him July 2020. He's probably going to read this, start seething, and get narcisstic injury. LOL 😂

[@sweetpea3153]

I have a lot of head knowledge ( two psychology degrees), but just recently realized my sister is a narcissist after 66 years. I went no contact out of necessity and this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm so grateful for these videos.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad you're figuring it out.

[@DarcieGlam]

It's very painful. I question, "is she a narc or did she just have a bit of temporary insanity due to the situation?". My other sister is convinced and has gone NC but I still wonder. The narc isn't talking to me right now so I have time to figure it out. Narcissim is a long-held pattern over time and I am just now seeing the pattern.

[@moxiepooties6363]

This troubles me. If a lot of psychologists don't recognize narcissism, how many of them just indulge the narcissist's fantasies?????

[@mararamitchpeace]

You telling me about myself today. I give the silent treatment sometimes. Not because I have an agenda, it's more because I am often not listened to, and my feelings are so often invalidated that I just shut down. I feel that I don't speak because I won't be heard anyway because of such consistent invalidating feedback. But then I feel bad because I have nothing to say.

[@candybradford6468]

I think many of us have been trained that learning and/or focusing on something is fixating on it and in turn is labeled as “stuck in the past” or unforgiving. Watching your videos has brought validation and clarification to the things I experienced in the past and at times, still experience. It has helped me immensely on this journey and brought about much healing and revelation.

[@steppenwolf3252]

One may forgive but not forget. Focusing on something in order to fix it is the healthy way. Otherwise we are doomed to endless reruns & are really condemned to being stuck in the past. Forgiveness must not preclude fixing the problem.

[@keplermission4947]

No ... no don't listen to anything Steppenwolf says. Your listening to Dr. Carter's videos maybe re-enforced we say is psychology, things that you wrongly perceived in the past and that is a negative thing. Dr. Carter's videos shouldn't you know bring any validation or clarification to your days of ignorance after all, in those days you were ignorant and you know, not very nice to others. Never mind the healing and revelation you know, just accept that you were stupid back then and got yourself stung or bit by a snake by walking in the wrong places and it was all your own fault.

[@myown4057]

Exactly this Candy!!

[@janepoppet3843]

I can't decide what was worse. The rages or the silent treatment, often days at a time. If I expressed I was nervous or upset by it, my dad would always respond by beginning with "the problem is with you". Sometimes that would extend to an hour long lecture 'all about the problems with me' so the original issue of the rage or silent treatment was utterly negated from. When I broached it with my codependent mum, on occasions, she would tell me "don't be so silly, you know your dad loves you". It's no wonder children of narcissists grow up so confused and doubt their own thoughts. It's just horrid. I don't hear him in my thoughts so much now since going no contact. Still much work to do but I can see peace down the line :)

[@vee1267]

Ugh, god, it’s like we had the same father. I actually LOVED it when he gave us the silent treatment after blowing up and lecturing me, because it was a break from being judged with contempt for just existing - in fact, I didn’t realize the silent treatment was even a thing for years. I always figured it was just him being too busy with work to spend extra time being an asshole. In hindsight, it was probably a combination of both.

[@keplermission4947]

@@vee1267 No ... you know the farther in the past it was, the more you'll be inventing what really happened and the longer you've been with a narcissist, the less valued you'll become. The new person is like a new car and you know don't rely on what you figured, unless you're a high value logic individual. Dr. Carter says we don't trust our intuition and others don't trust your judgement. Dr. Carter says a load of 'uh' sounds, verbal discontinuities - he is likely a covert cerebral psychopath and we should not trust a word he utters, but rather listen very carefully and maybe reflect that this southern rube got lucky in his masters. 😆

[@billiefitzgerald8338]

This sounds awful. It seems like you were so tightly packed into a box of approved thoughts and emotions. I am so glad you are healing.

[@janepoppet3843]

@@vee1267 I've heard other survivors say that too 'like we had the same father'. Different people - same patterns. I never knew until last year that the silent treatment is also a part of their rage. I'm sorry you experienced that too.

[@jerirasulo9543]

It's nice to hear you say you can see peace down the road! 👍👍❤️😁 Keep up the good work 👍👍😁❤️

[@christineplaton3048]

Yes. They point back its not them. Only YOU. Always you. Everything is caused by you.

[@cymbolichuman433]

We are the problem when we don't lay there and take the abusive treatment. It's really their problem when they are the ones constantly complaining about stuff that can't be geared for their convenience. They make themselves suffer and (us suffering) because we're difficult and won't do anything they demand.

[@mariahernadez9702]

Thank you 🙏🏼 Dr. C, your totally right, I cannot let this one self observed & straight up mean person convince me that im not good enough, thank you for this community! He wanted me to just obey his authority & when I said no, he became straight up demonic. Like night & day, I became so insignificant to him all of the sudden. I literally ran from him to save my life. He wanted me to accept living with him while he cheated on me & drugged himself & become his punching bag. I went no contact.

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

Here's something FUNNY: my husband announced to me almost after immediately returning from the honeymoon, that he will not be calling me by my first name anymore. He said he's going to be calling me "narcy" from then on... I had to Google what that meant, because I did not yet know he is a narcissist. PROJECTION much....? NOTE: Don't worry, I left him 2 years ago; only married 11 months. I AM FREE. I am FINALLY FREE; after 2 years.. I owe my freedom to Dr. C, because he is the first to teach me about narcissism while still married/living with narcissist husband.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad you got out!!

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you very much

[@mitaganguly3948]

I think I may have been a narc in the past in a bratty, looking for conflict, fragile lost ego sort of way. I may have done life relationships wrong and been a bad species ambassador for my creator, not fully understanding my place in this world and myself. Sorry to my maker and any others I may have hurt. I wish people like you and programmes like this had existed where I have so much resources to shift thru instead of one lone therapist I wasn't sure of anyways. Have learnt more about myself and will make absolutely sure I educate my family and kids about the need for values like decency and civility, if for no other reason but to make my life a pleasant passage for myself. Narcissism doesn't have to be contagious. You don't have to act out what you saw your whole life. There are other ways of being that are privately so much better. It's really lovely to work at your own peace. That's contagious too and resonates with the right kind. Look around. Thank you so much for your much needed guidance.

[@bobtaylor170]

God bless you! He loves contrite souls.

[@snowbear1877]

In my family they've always made me the problem. But I know they were the perpetrators. Other people prefer to look the other way or side with the bully. Only very few people have the integrity to speak up for the victim.

[@Ck-vz4re]

Every person who finds out I have separated (after 46 years) from the narc in my life, has said, “Well, I never liked how he treated and/or talked to you, but I felt like I couldn’t say anything.” That makes me sad! Why do people feel as if they can’t “call out” the narcissist ‘s bad behavior? Are they afraid of them? This phenomenon puzzles me. Please explain this, Dr. Carter.

[@aaronkwolfe]

If you want to know who controls you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize. They knew.

[@kathiejl1]

Same as when friends know your spouse is cheating on you. If they were really your friends, wouldn’t they want to enlighten you?

[@davidJohnsonguitarguy]

The Narcissist father and Covert Narcissist mother had 11 children. Can you guess what that was like? I was the only one who took mental health seriously and was labelled as the problem. For my own health and safety I stay away. There are 4 siblings remaining. Ontario Canada

[@mthomas3547]

The issue with being with a narcissist or even with their enablers is the isolation you experience. It makes you feel utterly alone in the relationship. That's no way to live. Finding out who I am and why that is important to me, then working entirely in that is what helped me realize how narcissistic That's not freedom. I visualize my true identity and I move in that direction.

[@michelepascoe6068]

Re that 1st question about pressure to wean off educational material about narcissm: I pressured myself to stop watching because my loving family members were concerned that I was watching obsessively, and because, on one video, Dr R listed signs that one is not yet healed from narcissistic abuse, including watching a lot. I thought, well, I understand about it now, so I must just stop thinking about it and move on. After a while, I missed it so much, I allowed myself to watch one by Dr C, which was particularly pertinent, and the good feeling of being understood, encompassed me again. I think that, after 53 years of abuse by my mother, and the consequent loss of relationship with virtually all my family, due to a prolonged smear campaign, I deserve to participate as part of Team Healthy for the rest of my life if I like. I have given myself full permission. Also, it means that I don't burden anyone else with the troubled past. Forever grateful to you, Dr C, and some others, for educating me, and to Team Healthy for your encouragement.

[@CTSCAPER]

Regarding watching too many videos about narcissism. I was stuck in a similar rut. There were many relationships in my life that I tried to make work but the harder I tried the more difficult they became. I noticed that sometimes when watching videos about narcissism, it would bring me back to traumatizing moments. Without even noticing my anxiety would be amping up and I would also only notice the bad in the world, not the good. I eventually started watching personal development videos too. I cannot change how someone else treats me but I can change how I react and how I perceive attacks. I can choose to be non-reactive and leave people who attack me be while focusing on the good in the world. Even when someone attacks me it's a chance to practice being in the moment and accepting what is. I have balanced my videos about narcissism with videos by Eckhart Tolle along with reading his book "The Power of Now" and it has made a big difference in my life. As Dr. Carter states, I'll never stop learning for the rest of my life.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

I eventually found myself doing the same- watching so many videos while learning more about what it is that i was dealing with and going through (narcissistic abuse.) I had gotten to a point where i had to ask myself, “Is my consistently watching these videos and relating to other people’s pain keeping me in a circular motion of my own trauma bonding? Relating and being related to are important but eventually actual growth/change has to take place. Otherwise we stay just as stuck as the narcissist does. I appreciate your comment! (edited for typos)

[@JimGoatChicago]

I too appreciate your comment. Now that I've pretty much removed 3 narcissists from my life (spouse, relative, friend), I feel like I'm moving away from watching too many videos and replaying past problems in my head and moving toward spending more of my day living in my preferences and doing what I want to do for me. I'm thankful for what I've been taught and still learning and use it all the time to manage challenging people, but I also know that living in that anti-narcissist space all day is, in a strange way, giving them time they don't deserve. I am trying to fill the void of the narcissists with increasing time spent with people who can have healthy relationships - people like my kids and good friends who live with DRC. I like to remember what I was like before they manipulated me and get back to that person in addition to new preferences and interests that come from just me.

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@AlwaysStampinVideos You've got me beat as your "asking myself" tops me having a couple close people asking me if these are helpful or just keeping me back there. I think I've shared enough experiences here, so I'm ok as an experience resource or an encourage/exhort guy. I am still learning, and these certainly fit into my "want to learn" versus "need to learn" dynamic. That and virtual friendships here that bring a smile of recognition. I like to smile.

[@CTSCAPER]

@@JimGoatChicago I agree Jim, I would get triggered again by things that happened years ago. I still watch videos about narcissism but try to control myself. Mid-week with Dr. C is very uplifting for me. At some point, I noticed it's easier to look at another person and say, "Look how they treated me." rather than work on setting boundaries and letting go of the past. It's much harder to look inside myself than to point at other people thought I think we need both to move forward.

[@CTSCAPER]

@@AlwaysStampinVideos That's a great point AlwaysStampin. Growth and change is a process I hope to do for the rest of my life on day at a time.

[@jeankipper6954]

I think that was one of the big reasons I married my wasband; I wanted so much to give. And I had so much to give. I did not, for quite some time, realize that sure, he wanted to receive, but had no intention whatsoever of giving back, of carrying his part of the relationship. As I’m realizing now with the help of Dr. C's work on narcissism, he had no basis whatever to even know how, or why, to make it a team effort. Blew straight past him. And his obliviousness to the obvious need, needs, to and for me, I did not fully get. For decades. Slow learner. But, learner indeed! Thank you, Dr. C, for your work! I'll keep on learning, grateful you keep on teaching!

[@peham55]

I was recently accused of focusing too much on Narcissism. Found out that my accuser is actually a full blown narcissist.

[@eadler5929]

Thank you for your comment. I have been wondering about someone who allegedly cares about my healing He has claimed I cannot heal because of my focus on narcissism. I maintain, to myself, That it took me over 30 years to admit that I had gone from the frying pan (family) into the fire.

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

PAMELA, now that you know and you have seen, you CANNOT unsee it.. Please get ta person out of your life. It will do NOTHING GOOD for you to keep them around you

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@theyellowshoe]

yep! I was called a narcissist, by my narcissistic husband! I laughed so hard & walked away.

[@hhsg11]

I was told by the narc that we ended because I’m a conspiracy theorist, I think that HELPED, because I was smarter than he said I was. 😉😉

[@Snibble]

I never wanted to blame my parents/mother for my psychological state. Low self esteem/ always doubted myself and just not feeling I belong anywhere leading to depression and addiction. This channel opened my eyes tho. I still don’t blame her because if she would know better she would probably do better but it’s just mind boggling what impact it had on my life! I notice her behaviour now and try not to get mad about it but it doesn’t always work out. It’s like she is always one step ahead of me with accusations. She blames me of behaviour she herself is guilty of. Latest is I spin things around.. Maybe it is because I don’t actually feel the need to make such accusations. I know now she made me feel worthless all my life. There is nothing I can say or do to make her happy and I gave up trying to do so a while ago. Now with the littlest she is saying things like “yes your mother is evil” and makes it sound like I am wishing her into her grave and don’t care about her while that really isn’t true. She is noticing it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to do ( nobody else got me in tears more then her while I hardly ever get so frustrated I need to cry not even about my wasted life), so she is really trying to turn up the heat. She also has chronic diarree now and isn’t feeling well .. which is a great tool for her. When I first came across this channel it was such an eye opener, I thought I could finally start living now, but I now know the effects are ingrained into me and still have a long way to go. And it’s hard to talk about it because some people just don’t know what it means and others think I am using her as a scapegoat.. at least that’s the feeling I get.. so I gave up on talking about it. I took a break from it a while ago because I started doubting if in fact it was true and it was maybe me who was the narcissist and used her as an excuse.. Now I am back and know that’s not the case I feel so much lighter to hear and read all these examples that perfectly fit my experience. I love this guy like a 3rd grandfather…

[@texasrefugee7888]

Thank you so much Dr. ❤️Yes I'm not "healed" I always have to remember the only person I can control is me and not engage in reactive abuse, which my narcissist family adores cuz it proves I'm "the problem." They aren't able to get any anymore it breaks their ❤️

[@splainyourself9811]

I listened to the book of Proverbs everyday for 6 months to get my head straight after living with the narc. Proverbs is all about what heathly horizontal relationships look like. As to vulerability... in my experience I know maybe 2 people that can relate on that level. Most eyes glaze over when feelings are shared.

[@theyellowshoe]

thank you for that idea! 😁🙏

[@aaronkwolfe]

Whole book, daily? Wow. I've seen the corresponding chapter matching the day, repeated each month. Kudos! It is written for wisdom, giving both bad and good examples. Commendable.

[@keplermission4947]

@@aaronkwolfe Why did you never see that old proverb: "Don't be wise in words, be wise in actions?" Can't you hush up for a while?

[@jerirasulo9543]

What an excellent idea, thank you. I never thought of the Proverbs! Sometimes I'll open up to Psalms bc they talk about being hated for no reason and ppl ganging up on one person, again for no reason. Thank you, I'm glad the Bible helped you too👍😁❤️

[@splainyourself9811]

@@aaronkwolfe yep, the whole book every day...only because I clean homes and I listened with head phones. I have the Bible App on my phone. :-)

[@denisesatt7044]

Omg my sister is Paul!! I have gone no contact with her in the last year because of a multitude of toxic behaviors . Guess I am not totally healed based on my response to this story. At the time I did chant DRC repeatedly in the parking lot!!! Thank you so much. The incident involved my mother and her alcoholism. Unreal

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@shantellcobb7067]

Caregiver mother 😖✌️💆 9 months NC 💪

[@majestic.feminine]

Why am I always being told I have to "earn" the narcissist's respect? How can I say the same for them? I can't imagine that kind of conditional "love." (New here for the most part, so I don't know if you've covered that one.) Am I just complaining about something I just don't get? "Earning Respect" is an old concept going back a long time in folk. This whole narcissist thing is tiring. Thank you for helping is Dr. C! Amazing.

[@lindabell2940]

Yes toni, its tiring, please dont be down and out, i dont know alot , but its bad,be warn out, the Doctor is help full, i listen to him, i promise you peace will come ,go team healthy, even if its a little peace, plus you have worth, the Lord is helping us also,even though im a rough sinner that Doctor has great ideas, you stay cool, he is a nice man in lots of ways

[@taraarrington2285]

These people don't understand that you don't want to be like them or part of their club or that you know they're condescending and controlling.

[@aliceroberts1980]

Yeah they will twist everything you say and suck the life out of you so you are just exhausted tell your a shell so be careful don’t don’t listen or believe anything they tell you it’s all bullshit

[@chayo4537]

Isn't that a saying though? How one has to earn respect? Unrelated to Narcissism completely. I've heard that a bunch of times

[@jerirasulo9543]

Yup tiring, but sooo worth it. Don't give up!! I give everybody respect until they show me they are a waste of time with their bad behavior 👍😁

[@juliasiddall2626]

I have dipped in and out of you for a couple of years now.....and it's Sunday afternoon here in the uk. I'm cleaning my very dirty cooker and I'm listening to this pod cast. Thankyou... it seems I'm doing okay. I see a counsellor every 2 weeks and have been for 4 years.. and I'm still not done. Insight is everything.he says I have wisdom... thankyou for the clarification.. wisdom is knowledge put into action.. thankyou..that was so good to know.. never knew what the definition of wisdom meant.. Now I do.. self care, self love and self compassion. The is what I have learnt..xx

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

Since I've become educated about narcissim, and I have become aware of narcissism, I can tell someone is a narcissist, within a minute or two of talking to them.. such as when they IMMEDIATELY turn ANY conversation or even ATTEMPTING to converse something about me or how I'm feeling or how I'm doing; they IMMEDIATELY turn ANY conversation about THEM... I have a friend like that, and I've cut them out of my life.

[@eadler5929]

Wow, congratulations.

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

@@eadler5929 Thank you ❣️❣️

[@nikkig4847]

I think sometimes people are trying to relate and converse and don't have the best social skills. They can still care deeply.

[@chayo4537]

You could tell if a stranger that you have no connection with is a narC but not when there's "romantic " energies involved. If you don't like or know someone for lack of better words. It's gonna be easy to think they're a narcissist.

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

@@chayo4537 WRONG. I can tell they're a narc, man or woman, BECAUSE they talk about THEM SELVES, CONSTANTLY, interrupt sentences, conversations, etc, and go right back to talking about them selves, THEIR likes, THEIR interests, THEIR accomplishments, THEIR Needs, etc etc etc, and show no interest in anything you start to talk about....

[@vickiparsons5698]

Such a blessing 🤗 thank you 💞🙏 Dr Carter.. I'm heading towards peace 🕊️.. thank you for sharing and caring..team healthy 💓 on the rise

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Great to hear 😊🙏❤

[@canduscanty8583]

Every parent that yelled or lectured is not a narcissist raising kids can be very frustrating and difficult. My heart goes out to the kids that were TRULY abused but there are a lot of people in today's society that are narcissist, spoiled brats calling all forms of correction and discipline abuse. Which makes it very hard to be a good, Godly parent coming from an abusive background myself. I have always been one to seek help and try to gain understanding and better myself but the coddling in today's society always seems to pervert positive messages that can be beneficial to those really seeking help. I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus Christ it keeps me grounded and level headed when people around me are not.

[@TC-gx3qn]

Preach!

[@chayo4537]

That's why I believe in spanking

[@irenecampos8588]

I went though all phases, love bombing, small explosions, big explosions, isolation, cruel control, finally agression.. Now trying to recover from a toxic relationship, but with a depression 😞 I love your video showing what narcissist do to the decent persons. Thank you so much

[@mands962]

I was thinking about how narcissists distort our reality. My mother and older sister are obsessed about appearance and weight and they would always say that I thought myself to be ugly. It turned out that they've been bullying me about that my entire life. My sister would always comment about how ugly I was as a baby. when I was a kid she joked that after School I smeld like expired food and all. I thought It was funny back then, but now I see the damage It caused on my self steem. Narcissistic people are mean and cruel. It's Sad How much we blame ourselves for distancing from them even though ALL we can remember is nasty behaviour on their part.

[@cyndim8785]

The roller coaster ride never ends with a Narcissist. I want to get off of this ride it is making me sick.

[@evonnamann2251]

Authority is needed in parents, the judge in the Court system. Authority with understanding that the person in charge is the one that makes rules to establish peace and calmness and not having people causing mayhem.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Talking about apologizing for things you didn't need to apologize for reminded me of when I was in labour with my oldest. I kept apologizing to the doctor and nurse for "making so much noise" after every single contraction. The doctor and nurse kept assuring me that I didn't need to apologize and that I really wasn't being very loud at all. The doctor even went so far as to say that I was one of the quietest labour's she had attended. But I still felt like I was needlessly loud and still kept apologizing. Years later as I began learning about narcissism and realized that my dad was likely a narcissist I now realize that the labour experience came from several childhood experiences. First, I was the Phantom child and my sister was the golden child. My sister was also a daredevil (so we thought. She later admitted to me as an adult that she was actually trying to kill herself) so she was hurt often. And she got tons of attention because of it. So I told my parents every time I was hurt or sick because I was craving their love and attention so badly. But I was told to suck it up and stop whining. If I cried when something hurt I was told to stop overreacting. So I learned to shut up. Second, if I played or talked loudly or even normally I was told to stop being so loud. If I continued I was punished. So I learned to shut up. Third, I was taught that I had no right to express pain or anything negative to anyone outside of the family. So I couldn't talk to my parents or even within their hearing range but I couldn't talk to friends, teachers, or anyone else either. Doing so would get me beaten black and blue. So I learned to shut up. What was happening during labour? I was whimpering in pain, letting people outside of the family see it. So I tried to shut up but couldn't hold it in. So I had no recourse but to apologize

[@Vainashell]

I like watching and learning. It’s like free therapy. Some weeks are better than others in my journey, the continuity of positive, empowering and informative information from Dr. Carter and others has helped water and nurture me on my journey to healing and growth.

[@MrJfortheElohim]

I’m coming to believe that most of the people that posed these questions on your lives are scared and don’t want to stand up for themselves. Narcissists are people and they can get checked just like the next person. Some people just give up to easily. I’m a learner from the school of hard knock. I’m not afraid of hard time because I know trouble don’t last always.

[@edenjennings8395]

Time stamp 2135-2552. I didn't ask the question but thank you for the answer. I have YEARS of unanswered texts and we life in the same house. It's exhausting. You feel misunderstood so you over explain and re explain. And it's always met with exaggerated stonewalling. Sometimes deflected with smokescreen. But more often just ignored. It's crazy making.

[@marijkevandermeer2772]

Love from The Netherlands! ♥️

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@rockyandmiles9889]

My boss will insult you and then quickly walk away, hang up the phone, or change the subject so you are unable to respond. He does this with nearly every conversation.

[@SlobArt]

Do we survivors really deep down upset the narcissist when we finally get strong enough to think clearly and start caring for ourselves? I’m a PTSD survivor. I had low self esteem; until now. I think PTSD can be a lure to introduce narcissism in our lives without knowing it. Once I came out of the clouds, I realized I am surrounded. Starting to take my Civility, Respect, and Dignity very seriously now. Thanks to you, Dr C.

[@pamleach4278]

The best revenge on the narc is a life well lived. Best of everything to you!

[@craigbrowning9448]

One challenge of having "Your Place in the Community" is when it's applied to things like Disability, Social Class, Race, gender and Religious roles from an outside party. @1:05 (roughly)

[@jmashack1]

Thank you so much Dr. C for your video today. I love your response to the question that someone asked “ are they taking in too much information about narcissism“ I am somewhat paraphrasing. I don’t know who said it but I’ve heard this before “ those who fail to remember are doomed to repeat”. It has been well over 1 year of no contact and I need to be reminded, reminded, reminded of how it was with the narcissistic person and who they were so that I don’t repeat the cycle with that person or anyone else for that matter. Thank you Dr. Carter

[@myown4057]

Yes!! So much self doubt has been taught, we need to continually clarify what has happened, what is happening!! I feel maybe those who say it, don't truly understand it....

[@danielleray2844]

Dr C... I was in relationship for 7 years and have 2 kiddos with this man. For nearly a decade, this man NEVER ate a pickle! I hate pickles, still do. Well, my oldest keeps telling me that at dad's house he eats pickles out of a huge jar. His new fiance loves pickles, so now he does too! This tiny thing really blows my mind! Is this a manipulation tactic?? I have foods I won't eat but I haven't started eating something just because someone else likes it! So, maybe he's eating her favorite foods to mirror her?? Please help me understand the psychology behind this type of behavior.

[@jonathanwest3062]

Thanks Doc. You answered some things I've been struggling with, especially the projection that my mother and sister have done with the extended family in trying to make themselves victims rather than tormentors.

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@Rachel-mz8ko]

Thank you 🙂. This video is very helpful. I really appreciate the opportunity to benefit from your perspectives. (Your nuance is great.) I'm successfully gathering some background context for my narcissistic over-reaction, hopefully things will eventually (softly) coalesce. My sister-in-law recently called to discuss some of her current life frustrations. It turns out some of her more difficult in-laws are narcissists. She was more or less oblivious to the subject. It is so helpful to be exposed objectively, rather than subjectively-- to know these people are not merely my subjective creations. I hope you and your family are doing well. 🙂

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

My husband, whom I left 2 years ago, to this day he has compared me to 2 other women he knows (both married, no personal contact, but texting daily positive affirmations) that are supposedly "women of worth" because they supposedly are able to quote scripture and supposedly they obey their husbands, what the husband needs, wants and they obey the word of God... He has always said that I was not a woman of worth, BECAUSE I did not obey him, did not allow him to control me or every move I make.. Please know this a man with a 40 year history of Domestic Violence with ALL his prior wives.. I am the third

[@michaelkennedy5126]

go no contact with that POS immediately. Who cares what a lost serial abuser thinks?

[@mariasartzis-pellicier1723]

@@michaelkennedy5126 Went COMPLETELY NO contact. UNfortunately not immediately after leaving the marriage, because I did not yet know the IMPORTANCE of NO CONTACT.

[@taraarrington2285]

Sounds like he's baiting, goading or gaslighting you.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Time to find a new husband.

[@Hatbox948]

Unbelievable. Some of these men are too much!

[@Alice-fr1ef]

Hi Dr. Carter, Gus and Team Healthy from California. It has been my experience that we are always the problem and if anyone else is involved with them and a problem comes up it is always the other person's fault. Especially if it is one of your friends. That is a reason for you to be isolated from that friend forever even if you were never involved in whatever happened between them. We are never good enough for them so they can feel superior over us but you must understand THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM not our problem. We are actually better than they are every time all day long. Very good video. Thank you Dr. Carter.

[@pamleach4278]

Question 1 is excellent. I admit I have come to a better contentment with what has happened to me and there are times I think I maybe dwelling or navel gazing a bit much with the hurt. I love Dr C's counsel and feel free to move on with a life that is healthy and not give my precious time to that person anymore in my thoughts, words and deeds. But what we endured at the narc's hand is something we'd be foolish to forget in case it would be repeated or mirrored through my own behavior. You are allowed to live and breathe and yet check in with people who keep you true and sane!! It is all a process. Give yourself grace and forgiveness. It happened over a long period and it will take as much time to heal and grow.

[@peggygarcia6125]

Moving from covert to overt and aggressive due to tolerance of aggressive behaviors and overt selfishness.

[@marieldavison5121]

🧔Narcissist : "You're 20 pounds away from being my ideal woman". 👩Wife (member of Team Healthy) : "I'm not gaining weight for anyone Skippy"

[@theyellowshoe]

🤣 good comeback! I applaud you! 👍👏

[@TC-gx3qn]

👏🏽 😁 Love it! Go Team Healthy 🥳

[@bobtaylor170]

✌

[@shawnmarie1912]

woohoo !!!

[@robinmacquarrie4625]

I have an adult son who has a mental illness and also displays all the characteristics of someone who is a narcissist. I feel because I care for him so much that I'm being controlled by a mentally ill person. I stay on "team healthy" and do many things which bring joy and good things into my life but I have a difficult time not giving into ;his quite often unreasonable demands. I've been doing this since he was a child. Now he's 48 and still a child.

[@dorothywinslet428]

Hi Dr C! From England.

[@unoffendable3496]

Big difference between Commanding respect through good judgment and kind leadership and demanding respect through fear and intimidation.

[@spiritwoodlive5597]

God bless. Thank you for this straight talk And wisdom! Helps immensely!

[@tontay-wp6tm]

I understand the First Lady’s question I too have watched many videos in a daily basis and do feel annoyed that the narcissists in my life have done this to me for so long..however I’ve found Dr Carters wisdom not only comforts me but I have used this in other situations when my son has lost his temper at me for no reason, I’ve said can we talk about that? What is making you feel this way? Wow! The communication is so much more positive! Thankyou Dr Carter ❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's what I'm talking about!!

[@lebay8991]

This is everything I needed to hear. Soooo many self doubts and questions. Coming away, I feel so much lighter and sure of who I am. Thank you.

[@lindabell2940]

I dont make sense alot, but ,the Doctor says he learning knowledge every day, he is the man, cool man

[@sindyv9389]

Dr. Carter, I've been married for 24yrs well, soon divorced. My question is why do I feel like I don't know myself anymore? If that makes sense. Thank you so much.

[@cathybutcher4826]

Well, I'm definitely not Dr Carter, but from personal experience I would say that you have lived for decades bowing to a narcissist and suppressing your true self to not make waves. Just think of all the decisions you have made, big and small, to appease the narcissist and not yourself and now that you have freedom it must be scary to make decisions without someone controlling and hovering over your every move. Be kind to yourself and maybe make a list of the things that make you happy and do one every day, even if it's just a cup of your favorite coffee. 🤗

[@HLi-eu5er]

It's not that strange: somebody has been brainwashing you for 24 years to keep control over you. It takes some time to get in touch with yourself again.

[@jesstallfeather]

Your friend in the hospital story reminded me of a situation I went through with my sister who is recovering from a serious car wreck that happened in April. The healing process and the resulting life style change has taken a huge toll on her mentally. On our last call she broke down and had a big ole Oprah ugly cry for about ten minutes, and in there she stated how all of her “friends” never called to ask how she’s doing except one lady. Her exact words were they just went on with their lives like nothing happened. I tried my best to be as accepting and supportive as I could in her raw emotional state. I think it’s a sign of true strength of a how being as secure of an emotionally mature person as you can be really makes the difference when someone really needs to count on you.

[@lindabell2940]

For some reason, Doctor Carter, neat talking makes me feel like its its fun its great to be human, i need something every every second of the day, like the power of his strength ,or something this is a breath taker, the power of ,he just makes me feel better even if the rush dont last, his strength, it even comes out of this smartphone of mine, hey from linda bell

[@petrastrong7799]

“Every projection has a hook.” I find I need to resist my own vulnerability to feeling victimized - in fact, no one can make us feel anything! We are responsible for whether we provide the “hook” that catches what npds want to throw at us. Recovering from my npd partner of 18 years - I have come to see I was raised by npds and have to kick my lifelong habit of taking on blame! Learning at60! A hard slog- but I’m getting there.

[@taraarrington2285]

I was born into a family like this. You can't win. If you react you're too sensitive if you don't react you're cold. It's exhausting.

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@davidJohnsonguitarguy]

Slogans like "No one can make us feel anything". Makes me think of the guy in the movie death wish after his wife and daughter were raped and his wife ended up dying and the daughter ended up in the psyche ward out of her mind. A quote from Jerry Seinfeld, referring to the people that did this, " I'm going to buy myself a Cadillac, I'll show you". You don't understand the depth and severity of other peoples PTSD.

[@keplermission4947]

@@davidJohnsonguitarguy Movies are fiction David, you know? Ignorant people think television is all real. Trump told us all about fake news but I guess you weren't listening.

[@outisnemo8443]

The problem with that line of thought is that it doesn't account for the fact that the entirety of "civilized" society is deeply steeped and entrenched in narcissism as a collective whole, and thus there is no escape at all; one simply cannot avoid providing that "hook" to someone, and there will always be such people around to make you feel bad. Yes, you can stop taking the blame yourself, but that's actually the opposite of what you seem to be doing here, since you're talking about how only you are ultimately responsible, whereas the truth is that it's others that are responsible and deserving of the blame.

[@bethtaylor9773]

When I first started working a program in Al-Anon decades ago, I started seeing alcoholism everywhere it seemed. Part of that was that I hadn't been recognizing it when it was right in my face with more than one family member...and I started actually seeing it. And part of it was that over time I was able to see the continuum of stages of possible alcoholism better and better since it's a progressive disease. Not everyone who drinks even heavily is an alcoholic....yet anyway.

[@aaronkwolfe]

It's one thing to notice a symptom (and remain quiet), yet another to see one and immediately accuse. Awareness is a good thing. Self-awareness is even better.

[@sarahchannahholliday7397]

I really think your a nice man, Thank you for your help.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're quite welcome.

[@sylviaamodeo7090]

Thank you Dr. Carter for educating on a personality disorder some people are involved with but do not see behind the mask. Certainly, not gender biased, .

[@burthaus]

Hello and blessings from Oregon

[@RebekahLukey444]

“They will see in you everything they don’t want to look at in themselves” What if I am doing that to the narcissist? We have been going back and forth 6 years now, it’s hard to tell. He is an alcoholic, No children, but I am a mother I find that the times when I have raged is when it had to do with a mama bear kind of thing. I had never raged before this relationship, but having a daughter who has bonded to him and had hopes of him being a step dad, the constant projection and being broken up with, then to be reeled back in was driving me crazy. The alcoholism has created a lot of confusion for me because when he backs off the alcohol, he doesn’t seem like as much of a narcissist, but then when we rebuild trust he starts drinking more and the narcissistic patterns come back We have gone through the cycles so many times, but now it is so hard to know who is the narcissist Did this relationship turn me into a narcissist? I have never experienced my self behave the ways I do with him. I have often been the one apologizing for things, but after all these years of the same cycles repeating themselves, I find myself blaming him. For so long I have blamed myself for not having better boundaries, but lately I have been blaming him. I am a different person when I don’t let his behavior hook me. If I can make myself not care and ignore him than I am a productive and loving person. Maybe that is where I feel narcissistic, to have to try not care about how he feels to be able to focus on taking care of me and my daughter I have been listening to videos since 2019 when I noticed my behavior changing and questioning if I was narcissistic I find when I listen to them now it is hard to know Thinking that this relationship is turning me into a narcissist This person is sooo many things narcissistic, needs to always be right, blame, project, deny, ignore, gaslight, not answer questions constantly being abandoned

[@user-uv1vx9xi4d]

I don't care what you do for a toxic person it's never enough they want you to thank you for everything they do for you but never thank you for what you do for them get away from these kind of people as fast as you can sign Cynthia Smith take care of yourself love your self

[@joangick6803]

I so appreciate you, Dr. C. Your Midweek session was spot on with me this week. God bless you.

[@heinzbaron9129]

Accusation = confession. Another pearl of wisdom Dr. C.

[@Paula-sw4mw]

To the first question, I recall my partner was concerned that I was stuck in a rumination cycle about my new(Narc)-stepmom. Healing and moving on has made me watch fewer NPD videos, only because I'm back to myself, and have time for things I enjoy. I do still watch these channels ("Howdy! 🤠), but I'm no longer triggered emotionally - I have #calmconfidence (mantra!) on #teamhealthy. I always feel reassured after listening to you, Dr. C. You always close with actionable step, which gave me my power back. I don't have my dad back, but I do have my life back: my worth is not determined by toddler- septuagenarian. Thank you so much, Dr. C!

[@cherylnathanodette]

Always fun Dr. C and of course informative too. Ooh let's just ignore them shall we, ha ha hope everyone here is well and taking no heed to the naysayers, yay

[@robinpresleywoodward]

Howdy Team Healthy from SC Lowcountry 🥰

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Howdy, Robin!

[@dm3144]

Wonderful video once again Dr. C. 45 years of this insidious behavior I endured! No contact now and I’m super happy. It was as if you were talking with me! You helped me realize I am right on track. I needed encouragement today. I’ve always loved learning but this subject baffled me completely! I’m super proud of where I am in my journey with team healthy! Thank you all and stay strong! (hi everyone!)✌️ 🦋SURVIVOR🦋

[@sharonramsay6144]

Good on you and well done.😮

[@cheri238]

Thank you again Dr. Carter for your expertise today. It helps so many people including myself. I have been listening to your guidance for years, recommended others to you. As for your session coming up, I will not be able to join due to my ignorance of cell phones and tech. Issues with people using my cellphone without my knowledge, and playing mind games. Hopefully, soon I can get all this straighted out. I have done all I can with tech experts. It will be soon. But grateful I am to you always and Team Healthy. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. ❤️

[@moebanshee]

I've learned that I'm being bullied by somebody a neighbor but I'm not allowed to talk about it anymore to anybody . They don't want to hear it. Someone in my family said to me "You have Alzheimer's you know that right?" Now that stings because my husband died after a 21-year fight with early onset Alzheimer's. The last 7 years of that he had cancer. If you want to terrify somebody... tell somebody who took care of an Alzheimer's patient "by the way you have Alzheimer's we all know you have Alzheimer's". No. I don't know if they think it's funny. I don't know if they actually believe that but I told my daughter about it. I said you know what I'm going to stop talking to everyone about everything. People don't want to hear that you're having a problem with anybody anymore. Narcissism is so rampant that they have their own crap to deal with and they don't want to hear anybody else's. I'm at that age yeah I go in a room and go yeah what did I come in here for. But I catch up fast. Telling me I have Alzheimer's just so I won't discuss being startled by a neighbor who slams something behind me.. it's cruel but that's the way society is now it's cruel.

[@Bridget51-Z]

I had a similar problem with a narc in my surrounding. It's problematic to speak about something like this with neighbours, especially when they have no idea about narcissism and what those mentally defect people do to others. I noticed that there was gaslighting going on behind my back. You notice it in the strange behaviour of people. Having analyzed the situation I greet people selectively. The shabby rest I ignore. If you need to talk to someone about what was done to you, don't speak with neighbours and not with your relatives, if they respond in such a way as you described. You are not alone! This community here is great, and the people here do understand you! God bless you and never give up!!

[@moebanshee]

@@Bridget51-Z ty yeah I've learned to just keep my mouth shut stay in my house and even with my family they get tired and say well what do you want us to do about it and I guess just listening is too much. But yesterday I did get serenaded by my mark neighbor I had cut my grass I was taking a break sitting on my patio and he came out and started singing it's great to be number one and a few other lyrics and then he said officer bulldog said give them enough rope they'll hang themselves and you did with an emphasis on you did I don't know what I did all I do is sit in my house and then he went back to singing it's great to be number one the strange thing about this is my ring doorbell recorded everything up until he started singing he took his phone he looked at it pressed something and when I came in and thought okay I've got them on the ring doorbell it cuts out when he presses on his phone he goes back to his car picks his phone up and presses on the phone and the sound goes back on my ring doorbell so I talked to somebody who's pretty proficient in electronics and they said he's hacked my ring doorbell so last night I was up trying to change the password on the ring doorbell and upgrade different things but there's no way to prevent them from hacking your ring doorbell this is our new life narcissists can have anything they want do anything they want and the rest of us just have to knot our heads and say yes poison my grass kill the birds do whatever you want I'm sorry if I upset you today

[@DiamondGirl333]

It is so sad and crazy that narcissists are so unyielding in their patterns of living strictly for themselves. They miss out on the things that make life meaningful like growing and learning from our mistakes so our lives can become more meaningful. They miss forming loving bonds based on mutual respect and without conditions. The ones I know are so miserable as their lives unfold into meaningless and trivial existences while hanging on to their beliefs they are right even as they are suffering from loneliness and irrelevance. Sad.

[@laurenceegerton890]

Hi Doctor! I watch most of your videos and must say you are a calming voice of reason! I'll ask a question that you may be able to answer in a future video.

[@stacierocke6830]

i resigned after 26 years of gaslighters and rewarded for thinking inside a box

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@hanichay1163]

Projection-yes. Among many other things, I am accused of “cutting people out of my life.” But she suddenly went no contact for over a year with us her own parents! I think something changed, that there is something really big wrong in her life. Wish I could help but how?

[@Bridget51-Z]

After having fallen prey to a narc I had a hard time through this person's unjustified and repeated accusations and crazy projections, which most of the time left me speechless. The whole process of being made "the problem" by that horrible, unauthentic narc made me feel unrationally guilty and even afraid, while the narc sported in self exaltation and seemed to enjoy her power. Being confronted with all red flags of NPD I finally understood what was going on. Quite in the beginning of the acquaintance this person had tried to make me her "friend", which meant being forced to her permanent gossipping about other people. I didn't like that and distanced myself but remained polite. That was when the narc's ruthless bossy behaviour and even insulting started. Due to Dr.Carter's videos I learned what was going on. I had a lot of inner work to do and became slowly stronger again. Nowadays narcs leave me alone, even that specific one. The presence of my dog obviously has changed something on a energetic basis. I am not bothered anymore. The dog is quite tall and very friendly towards every human. I can say that narcs disempower their "victims", but when you get out of this bond and did inner healing of your traumas, you get over it and never again fall prey to them. I have always been a strong and courageous person. This old me has been back since a few years.

[@betsyfernandez1440]

I never realized that my ex was not only an alcoholic but was a Covert Narcissist too. I just blamed his controlling, abusive behavior on alcoholism. Things are much clearer for me now. Thank you Dr. C.

[@ardisdurbin4702]

In response to the comment about learning about narcissist traits and wondering if it's just keeping her mind bent in that direction and wondering if it's healthy- I understand how she might have these feelings. I know someone who has really gotten much lower on the narcissistic spectrum and I've felt guilty continuing to learn when they've obviously done alot of hard work to change but I am certain it is doing me nothing but good because it ends up giving me alot of understanding about behavior I've endured when I didn't have the understanding and helps me to put the missing pieces together. I would encourage you to keep learning. I've gotten answers from Dr C's teaching about things that happened at so many points of this relationship that I was totally in the dark about for years. It's a great feeling having insight, and with it, more strength and peace. It's great being part of team healthy, it's such a lifeline.

[@firty8518]

Thanks.

[@Ck-vz4re]

Thank you!

[@alinnepereda4345]

I love your decoration dr Carter 🤭

[@marywilsonvocalist2181]

I liked what you said re communicating by actions etc

[@marywilsonvocalist2181]

You are wonderful DRC nice shirt too...bring back GUSS..xx

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks Mary. Since this is live I make sure Gus is in another room. He tends to bark if something is going on outside!!

[@marywilsonvocalist2181]

@@SurvivingNarcissism awwe he's your biggest fan..I know MISS NOISEY plays up when she knows I'm doing SMULE..can ya sing DRC?..

[@noracharles9366]

❤️ Team Healthy

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

Watching now, DrC (late lunch today.) Great podcast today! My vote is YES, make “what have you learned” the theme of future shows. I’m sure you had a TON of positive comments when you asked that question. Most of us want to help others avoid the pitfalls we ourselves have fallen into from dealing with highly narcissistic folks. I know if i had found you and your channel sooner, i could have avoided so much pain. Today’s podcast was heartwarming and encouraging to listen to. My biggest takeaways were the CS Lewis quote you stated… “God uses pain as a megaphone.” And the comment sent in about what she “couldn’t afford…” (can’t remember all of it but the one about how she couldn’t afford to be like the narcissist and couldn’t afford being mean to the narcissist.) Listening to you has taught me (and each of the commenters) so much!!!

[@Lawrenceshow_me]

👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES) Telegram only to get him😎🤩😎

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Hi Kelly...That podcast was a continuation of one of the live feeds from a few months ago. And I still have dozens more comments that were not aired. I'll do a similar theme again! Hope the new business plans are going ok!

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

@@SurvivingNarcissism i remember that live video a few weeks back… one of my faves! And thank you so much on the well wishes! I met with one of my advisors today and received more exciting news! That’s why i couldn’t join the live video today. It’s getting exciting!!! Now it’s a matter of hurrying up to wait haha

[@janiecepoush1904]

Decide what kind of person you are, & want to evolve to be… And stick to it! Don’t allow anyone to convince you of your REALITY, & mistakenly adjust to give up yourself, to TRY & please the NARCISSIST… You Will Lose Yourself, & the NARC will never be HAPPY! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃

[@Stolat79]

“That’s just the way our family does things”- this response from my Mother said it all. Whenever I had an issue and wanted to have a dialogue about that issue I was laid into with scorn. “You’re selfish!”-said by my father while flying into a rage, spitting mad fists clenched, when I wanted to do a particular task my way. I find that the narcissistic people that have been in my life have an almost total inability to communicate their feelings in any way other than anger or rages. Thank you Dr. C for all the help over the last 3 years. You helped me resolve to go no contact and then honor that decision by holding myself accountable to dignity, respect and civility. DRC is what I want to live into and it is the minimum that I expect from the people that are welcome in my life.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Your lightbulbs have definitely turned on, Joe!

[@aaronkwolfe]

My response has sometimes been: “If you’re wrong, do you WANT to know?” Accept their answer.