The Dr. Cloud Show | How to stop attracting narcissists - Episode 22

In this segment of The Dr. Cloud Show, a caller has noticed a pattern of attracting narcissists, and wants to know what's going on.
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[@TheDevineFempress]

She was with a narc for 28 years after nearly 12 w mine we learn to blame ourselves for not giving them what they want ….I met a man that pretended to be the man of my dreams …..that’s the first clue survivors have to watch out for

[@BlueJeansandJellyBeans]

The signs are always always there. We either choose to accept less or we don't give ourselves time.

[@clairobics]

Just educate yourself about Narcissistic machinations and don't look at the person, look at the approach and focus on your positive, personal boundaries. When something comes along, question "What is it they want?" and "How are they approaching me psychologically?" Very valid on point about 'covert narcissists too. - some narcissists are just sneaky, shy snakes, the quiet types not neccesarily the grandiose sterotypes we associate with narcissists. Plus, always ask God to lead you from and reveal narcissist relationships to you. This is what He has been doing with me over the last two years or so. Speaking as a person who, as an abuse survivor, blamed myself for my family's response to me but kept to the 'truthteller' role and didn't deny the truth of what had happened, God is using my empathy and the healing from the broken parts in a mighty way to give insight -all glory to Him.

[@angelajoy4408]

We need a post trauma half way house 😜

[@cyclingqueenbee]

Soooo useful, not just for dating or marriage relationships but for ALL relationships - friendships and business relationships. Re-reading Henry's books & listening to his podcasts, videos, etc., from time to time helps to integrate the wisdom of Safe People and Boundaries. Thank you!

[@nancyness9890]

Dr. Cloud, I've read your books and listened to you. You are helping more people than you will ever know.

[@myjourney73]

Excellent! Love the velcro analogy

[@rachelwheeler309]

The other night we went out to dinner for my daughter's 20th birthday. My ex was present. I was telling my kids about my hiking trip that day. I was tired but super excited because I've been working towards having the health to do this for so long. Before the kids could respond, my ex took the reins and asked why I paid for a hiking trip when there are hiking groups for free on Facebook. I simply said that saving money isn't my number one priority in this situation. He ignored my response and continued to talk about how much better the Facebook option was. I let him talk himself out and the evening moved on. I was so angry. He didn't attune to me, he took over the conversation when I wasn't speaking to him, he invalidated my feelings and opinions. I was proud of myself though for stating my opinion succinctly and refusing to engage further. I am also proud of myself for how much I've grown my boundaries. I immediately saw the trap and the unhealthiness of his response. I stated my opinion, refused to engage with him further and came away angry but with no damage done. The next day I talked about my trip with a colleague who attuned and validated and I discovered loves hiking too.

[@marystahl]

Great example with the hunger and food!! 👏 Bravo 👏

[@oilinmylamp]

I relate to this woman. I lost my mom and was "emotionally needy" and got into a relationship that has turned out poorly...surprise! Lol

[@mimilion6072]

Me to.... getting away from it in a week... Please Pray for me to not fear the aloneness, that got me into this situation in the first place. Asking God, to help you to

[@lisacurtis8162]

I got married because I was rebounding from a divorce and a short bad relationship after that. It's been 17-26 years . Married for 17 but 26 years total.😢😭🤕

[@rannen24]

It can take a long time to get things because we have our own way of thinking and sometimes we are stuck or find it hard to believe the facts in front of us

[@susanflakes6968]

They're everywhere!!!! They're everywhere!!!!

[@Swooo-b5q]

Yes!! Let it have WEIGHT! Thank you Dr Cloud. I was afraid to embrace the negative my need was great - 9 years and then suddenly the truth exposed, The trauma has been horrific- but healing is here.

[@heatheredwards163]

A good bit of advice for Gals who are alone and wanting a man is... "Don't be seduced by a spanner!!!"

[@nancylawson3991]

AMEN!! DR. CLOUD!!! I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!! THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIR!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!!

[@sll110]

me too

[@manuelag2128]

Dont BE Desperate, BE picky

[@keniasharpe1610]

It all boils down to self love

[@rachelsalex]

We need to look inward and find healing for ourselves, that is to say the one who stays in a place of abuse has responsibility for self. If not we'll be entangled and stuck never getting where we need to get in life and blaming ourselves and others for our demise.

[@skajs426]

Sometimes, women prefer passivity to avoid conflict; but this is actually a covert tactic to lure women into an undesirable trap quickly before they wise up.

[@crystals6352]

Great advice!

[@grafxgrl8030]

Great haircut Henry!

[@sll110]

LOVE you, dr. cloud, yoi save a person like me, super talented, super beautiful, (used to be modeling)but always into narcissist relationships

[@trishg8852]

Excellent explanation. Thank you Dr. Cloud!

[@angelajoy4408]

But blue cheese tastes SOOO GOOD🤣🤣🤣Bless her heart sooo get her

[@catcat1526]

How to get a digital copy of safe people? Thanks!

[@dennisdavis4719]

Goodnight

[@angelaped]

❤️