Millennials and Gen Z are DONE With Dating Apps

Bumble really fumbled with this new rebrand. People are fed up. Thanks for watching don't forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE!!!
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🌸SOCIAL MEDIA
Instagram : / tiny.sey
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🏰CHAPTERS:
0:00 - intro
1:42 - history time
3:46 - Bumbles creation
7:31 - the controversy
8:20 - why dating apps suck
9:20 - rose jail
11:00 dating app fatigue
14:32 - Men vs. women app usage
16:22 - opening act
18:00 - targeting women
21:00 - how to use dating apps if ur gonna
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⚙TECH INFO
camera: canon T5i
editing software: Premiere Pro

[@thisopinionwillexpire]

I think the BIGGEST problem with dating apps (which you touch on) is that their business model is to KEEP YOU going on dates. It’s bad for business if you find someone, commit to each other, and get off the app. But most of us WANT TO FIND SOMEONE, not casually date. Our “success” is the opposite of the app’s “success”.

[@uniquenewyork3325]

I think it would benefit dating apps to keep the app running like for couples to quiz eachother and get date ideas, just put a few ads and that way they can make money.

[@thisopinionwillexpire]

@@uniquenewyork3325 I like the way you’re thinking. If the app had some features to support/engage couples, the app-maker and customers’ values would be more aligned.

[@bm5_5_5]

YES exactly! This is why I was never keen on them

[@dream0froses]

@@uniquenewyork3325 No because then people can cheat on it easily and pretend like they're just using the app for their significant other.

[@Neo.Jordon]

Women are told to not settle down in their 20s for a reason, its not to save you. its to feed you to the top 5% of men. They want options

[@MrFish1124]

Being a man who's never had any interest in sex, I've never understood why people get so toxic and hostile over it. Seeing a corporation jump straight towards shaming women for not performing sexual acts they don't want is just pathetic. I know I have a different experience because I'm a guy, but the culture around aggressive shaming and bullying I've experienced since I was in middle school has done nothing but push me away from ever wanting a relationship. I don't see how a room full of business people could have the exact same mentality as teenage bullies to think using these tactics is going to actually bring people back.

[@keropi193]

My partner is a guy who is less sexual than most, but he is the best partner ever. The expectation was set up front. It hurts to hear about all the bullying he's endured (thanks mostly to misogyny and homophobia). Woman or man, if anyone is pressuring anyone to have sex, they're they problem--not the person with the lower libido or religious belief.

[@candyrosepetals]

You may have Low Testosterone. Get tested. HRT is life-changing. (It was huge for me, hence my suggesting it.)

[@TheGreatman12]

​@@ville__your mom

[@TheGreatman12]

​@@candyrosepetalshe could just be asexual

[@PinkyMcPinksAlot]

Excellent points, I think you hot the nail on the head. If your product is good there is no need to bully a portion of the customers to use it...

[@eriqmav]

Dating apps feel like shopping for people and also being a product yourself imo so yeah I tried it once and never went back

[@prettycyber8332]

It’s demoralizing. I deleted them about 2 years ago

[@HackersSun]

They need some form of middle ground like a voice chat you can pop in and out according to interest I swipe no on most guys based if I'm going to get along with them, and its a fat no because I'm more on the stubborn side of feminine than gentle

[@adev9764]

Controversial opinion: I think the billboards are to appease their main customers. Men. Men are more likely to be the ones paying on bumble and they are most likely unhappy that they aren’t getting as many matches / options (as women aren’t using these apps as much) in addition to the sex. Bumble did look at complaints, just for their main customer which is not women. The app is “targeted” at women but it’s not for women.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

"The app is “targeted” at women but it’s not for women." --- this made ZERO sense.

[@mariaparabello6344]

​@@asdfxcvbn746compare it to fishing: fish bait is targeted (made to attract) certain species of fish but does not benefit the fish. It is made for the fisherman

[@eyesthrurosecoloredglasses]

​@asdfxcvbn746 It makes perfect sense because men aren't the ones historically peer pressured into putting put or laying with women if they see no benefit or gain to it. Women are though. A lot of men see such a message and feel at home employing such apps because it aligns with their values...most men ugly or not employ them for sexual entertainment.

[@timioftenshiheisoban6763]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@asdfxcvbn746It means the app is designed FOR men to FIND women.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@timioftenshiheisoban6763 well obviously the app isn't doing its job if 100% of women are only swiping right on 5%-10% of men.

[@sapaydiarosales7161]

the dating app fatigue is so real, you swipe for a while then you’re exhausted with looking and drop it for a period of time only to come back 😒😔 i decided im gonna have an “outside summer”: i’m only dating/talking if i find you not on an app or thru a friend

[@bm5_5_5]

Sounds like a plan!

[@Iquey]

It's good for our mental health to get outside and see how people actually look! And actually ACT. No catfishing outside, irl, or at least it's a lot harder.

[@someusername4129]

Honestly this is the way to find something authentic

[@latteknowsbest6365]

The way god intended!! This is how we used to do it, anyway

[@pixiet7321]

SAME

[@wtheckJackie]

I wouldn’t be surprised if algorithmically speaking the apps avoid showing you people you’d be most compatible with because it increases the likelihood that you will stop giving them your money and delete the app. They cannot profit directly from your romantic success so why would they ensure it? They need you to keep dating duds so you come back and spend money when things don’t work out.

[@tinysey]

🤔never thought of that

[@JB-kr3xz]

I’ve been saying this exact this! It seemed like the more I picked ppl I liked the more it showed me the opposite. I gave up on the apps. I prefer meeting people in person

[@user-kg5lq6nd7q]

I see some scary things on the apps. They always hide the good profiles, you’ll see one every like 100 swipe 😭

[@ReyFelipe00]

@@user-kg5lq6nd7q 1/100 seems reasonable, assuming that a 'good' profile is tall, good looking, athletic, with money. This is a normal ratio to expect in the real world, let alone on dating apps where these kinds of men don't need an app to get women in the first place.

[@prettycyber8332]

I believed this for years!!!!

[@collinmarlin921]

I feel like each new dating app becomes the saving grace for a few months/year or so then it becomes just hookups again. It’s an endless cycle of “this app has people looking for more than just hookups” to “now this app is only hookups”

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

Omg so true. Like it ebbs and flows like US political parties

[@beasttitanofficial3768]

Tinder marketed itself as an actual dating app for a while but they just fully embraced it's just for hookups

[@liya3453]

Enshittification, Dating app version

[@deepsea5348]

Listen. Listen. LISTEN. If you want to meet people you’re compatible with, go out to places and events where you’re most likely to meet them! If you’re religious, you’ll probably find a good person at a church, temple, or whatever holy place is associated with your faith. If you like music, go to a music festival and talk to people! These apps will never be able to replace the value of meeting someone face to face and talking about common interests with them! Edit for the introverts: Libraries are also really nice if you like quiet places, these days some of them have areas that are designated for reading only and other parts for quiet conversation.

[@chelsbeaupeep]

Yessss, this is why 3rd places need to be mainstream again!

[@greensciencegeek]

Sorry but what the hell are the introverts gonna do?!?! Not to mention some neuro spicy folks!

[@recklessmermaid]

THIS!! In 2022 I had to rebuild my life in my early 30s after ending a 10 year marriage. I went on Tinder but realized that I have zero problems meeting people outside…I’m as aspiring musician so I’m out several times a week. I’ve completely rebuilt my friend group with people I met at the same places I like going to: live shows, music festivals, etc. this is the first time in my life that I’ve had a friend group with similar interests…I’ve always been the weird artsy friend in the group until now. Now that I see what it’s like to fill your life with people who enjoy the same things you do, I wouldn’t want to meet a partner any other way. I quit the apps pretty quickly because I realized that I would rather go out with friends than a date with someone I have little in common with. If i meet a romantic interest it will have to be out in the wild

[@recklessmermaid]

@@greensciencegeekI’m a neurospicy extrovert so I can’t fully relate but I’m guessing the same way you meet friends? Join an online book club? Gardening group? Volunteer at at animal rescue? ETA: all those ??? Are genuine I’m not being sarcastic 💀

[@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise]

Problem is in London no one is tryna talk to each other

[@colemchone1833]

Met both my exes on dating apps. One was really harmful and had to get new social when i broke up witb her and the other broke up with me over text. I ended up deleting all socials last month and now I just use youtube and pinterest. I go outside more and read a lot. I have met a lot of cool people through just going out to libraries and places that I like.

[@sanriospink7348]

I want to be like this I wanna delete instagram sooo bad but legit my close family and classmates and friends are on their and even online acquaintances so it's like I can't let go but at the same time I don't spend time on Instagram anyway all I do text my one friend and family recently I left my 10 year long friend group and I need to make new friends

[@LofiwithEmber]

I deleted mine too! I’ve been married for years to my college sweetheart, and I realized other than him and our close college friends, I don’t talk to many people or interact with them at all. It was actually pretty tough to declutter some family members and acquaintances but I truly feel so much lighter! Also, as a bonus I’ve really gotten connected to my faith! 💕✝️☀️

[@indiebish7045]

Hey twins! I've been off of social media for almost 7 months now (but same, youtube and pinterest are the only ones I use). I solute you, it's such a nice breath of fresh air isn't it? There's no looking back now for me since I've been off for so long lol. If anything, I'm not even lonely anymore compared to when I had a 12-14hr screen time months ago.

[@xstaticgurlxx]

Anyone done dating period? I believe God will find someone when it’s right 😭

[@viridianacortes9642]

Yeah. Meeting in the wild is a bit better.

[@orahilike5383]

Yep, if I want romance I’ll read a romance book or watch Bridgerton or something 🤣

[@bm5_5_5]

Yep. I’m done.

[@sensimania]

​@@orahilike5383 Be careful with that. Things started going south when those 50 Shades of Gray books were trending with women, lol!

[@in.themeantime.]

@@viridianacortes9642in the wild 💀

[@oscarorozcoorejel]

One feature that will bring women back in droves is doing background checks on members and banning anyone with domestic or sexual crimes. Like being safety to the apps

[@ruachunchained]

I’d be more likely to use an app if the women are screened too.

[@harsh3948]

If we’re gonna be judging men by their past, might as well put in a detail for showing body count for women

[@Halo4beatsB02]

​@harsh3948 wouldn't work because there are significantly more women than men on these apps

[@harsh3948]

@@Halo4beatsB02 but they aren't the customer, paying men are. What men dictate goes

[@Danbecker000]

Dating apps do not want you to find love, they want daily active users. They also charge for the basic features like actually seeing who likes you and being able to message them. Love has been commodified and paywalled.

[@juliabosch229]

Being loved without going on dating apps is such a luck 🍀

[@taiyabazaheer9492]

Yep my mom loves me so much

[@insomniacresurrected1000]

Everybody meets online now, I would say like 60%

[@punkmonk9653]

One of my best friends is legit making a job posting, but for a partner. And then they plan to have friends interview the person first, and if they get approved by us then they get to meet my friend. Sounds kinda extreme to some probably, but depending on where you put the job posting, you're less likely to deal with as much algorithm bs and pay walls, and they'll have the added level of security with the friend pre-interviews. Honestly, if it works for my friend I might try it myself 🤷

[@tinysey]

😂that’s a really interesting idea, could work really well actually.

[@katc2040]

like anyone is gonna put that much effort into someone they dont even know 😂

[@user-lp5ci9bi2j]

That is kinda what they did back before internet dating only friends didn't interview 1st

[@hotmess9640]

Dude touch some grass and find a partner. your friend is a loser for thinking thats a good idea

[@TheSnackAttackingSnorlax]

Yeaaaahhhh…. I’m gonna go ahead and call it… that’s not gonna work… That’s why where’s coffee dates. Short, low cost, low pressure…. I don’t want to and WILL NOT EVER jump through that many hoops for a single date …. If you tryna have friends vet me?? Tells me you’re incapable of making solid decisions or choices for yourself… HUGE 🚩 🚩!!!

[@LUCYDebDolly]

I met my fiance on tinder. But that was a fluke. I met so many horrible men on there, or just men who didnt want an equal partner. I dont think its a dating app problem per se, I think its a "where we are with relationships as a whole socially" problem

[@roses6821]

I did meet mine on the app as well. It was covid and i had to move too my workplace (nurse) to not commute (to countryside) so only cows and sheeps around my and working, living in apartments my job provided. so i used tinderone time and met him😂 i would have never tried to meet a guy living so far away. He lived right next to my workplace!

[@user-kx1sl8wd1s]

I agree and it’s sad

[@prettynpetty8342]

Gatekeeping connection is the entire business model while marketing it as the most convenient way to connect. Free groups on meetup and facebook have been the most pivotal parts of my social life. We need to go backwards when it comes to being social and finding a match. We don’t need the screens. You 1) need to know yourself and your hobbies and 2) do those hobbies with other people in a coed space. That’s literally it. We’ve complicated and monetized a very simple intuitive human design.

[@Neo.Jordon]

If they can sneakily curate a custom "for you" page, they can match us successfully. They choose not to.

[@sashamoore9691]

Facebook is the best dating app tbh

[@prettynpetty8342]

@@sashamoore9691 LinkedIn is mine 🤣🤣

[@grandempressvicky6387]

​@@Neo.Jordonand in the case of hinge and OKCupid, they locked the "For You" page behind a pay wall. So these people who are apparently a 100% match will never know who you are cos you can't/won't pay. In the case of all of them, you can't tailor your specific preferences to avoid having options that are clearly incompatible like... whether or not they live in a different country to you lol. I'm surprised that these apps didn't die off sooner.

[@Neo.Jordon]

@@grandempressvicky6387 they didn't die off, because at this point most people are lonley and don't go out. Men are pay pigs for the app All the apps are owned by the same company and use the same strategy, so theres no way to meet anyone. Women need to be open to conversations, and being approached in real life again. The culture slowly shifted to hating or being scared of average men. This message, is pushed by rich people, so they have access to a plethora of women, through social media

[@vvitch-mist20]

I H A T E dating apps. I like meeting people in person, and I saw that no app actually wanted me to go and find connection.

[@ville__]

Who cares

[@mateaukalua4426]

If you're a man then meeting people in person is tough. But if that works for you good. I went to singles meet up and nobody came 😂. Might as well just give the fxck up.

[@indiebish7045]

@@ville__ oh 😭?!

[@zk6954]

hate hook up culture in this stupid country. Everythings so bad already, sure, lets make our relationships / connections to each other as disposable and unsatisfying as possible.

[@katc2040]

up to men like eveything 3lse

[@asdfxcvbn746]

women did this. men wanted 1950's style marriage & patriarchal family units. women wanted to be single, independent of men & pushed the sexual liberation movement. women literally did this to themselves.

[@anavasquez5231]

We can thank third wave feminism yayyyy

[@Neo.Jordon]

​@@asdfxcvbn746they did this to all of us. Its like adam and eve 2.0 They just couldn't resist when the snake told them it would lead to success. Media is the snake, who lets you think its ok to do casual sex, cause its "not hurting anyone". Ruined a generation.

[@Thufferinthuckotash]

@@asdfxcvbn746​​⁠men weren’t even loyal back then. Women gave up their entire lives for men back then and weren’t even given the same loyalty back. The domestic violence rates were sky high as well, so please don’t act like this was a good time for women.

[@xandertrell]

What a wild way to promote a new change to Bumble! I’m glad people are banding together to leave Bumble for such crazy & low-key disrespectful marketing. Dating apps in my experiences led to more situationships rather than relationships, but once I focused more on abstinence I decided to give the apps another go with a different perspective & experienced extreme burnout. The getting to know you convos felt more like a time waster, going on dates never lead to anything concrete, and ultimately I’ve chosen to forgo them altogether. I’d rather meet someone naturally & authentically instead of seeking love through a company’s manufactured idea of it. Great vid as always, look forward to seeing what you put out next!

[@Iquey]

You can't smell people through the phone. It's one reason why i don't waste my time in dating apps. I want to see how a person reacts to real life in real time and how they smell. Attraction is not just intellectual but primal and safety and trust is built in real-life flexibility and negotiating a variety of scenarios as 3D people in real time, without warning or preparation. I wanna see how a man or woman reactsntk unpredictable scenarios because real oife doesnt come to you through swiped. Real life comes at you at any angle.

[@Halo4beatsB02]

Wtf what are u spec ops

[@ObeyLucifer]

The people on dating apps are so fickle. I always have a 2 month cycle where I use the dating app, talk to a few people who I kinda get along with, they either ghost me, become dry texters, or it fizzles out somehow. I'm *done*. I always have a depression spiral afterward, and no one seems to get me fully. Maybe it's the dating pool I have to pick from (I exclusively use a VR dating app), or maybe im just not meant to ever be in a relationship. It's maddening and extremely frustrating. I just can't do it anymore.

[@Neo.Jordon]

Media convinced the average women to hate or be scared of the average man. Unless you're social media chad, good luck. They dont want 90% of men

[@ville__]

Who cares

[@lazysnorlax3015]

I wouldnt say thats a dating app thing. I would geniunely say thats dating in general. You talk to somebody other party lose interest and repeat the cycle. Especially as a guy I gotta talk to over dozen women who aren't interested just to get a few who might be. A lot of people just don't take that much initiative when it comes to dating nowadays. Im fine with that since I have a life outside of dating but a little irritating when you want a longterm partner.

[@bubbleyumm223]

I really liked this video essay. I recently watched the Ashley Maddison documentary on Netflix and it was crazy. It made me wonder how many dating apps are just exploiting its users for money and data. But I would be tired too when the apps are working against us!

[@destine1547]

We all have to get back outside, join clubs and meet people in common spaces. It’s difficult but these apps are not working for a lot of people.

[@amab1853]

Exactly 💯 that's the moral of the story. People need to go back to socializing outside and get off the apps & social media

[@markigirl2757]

Exactly! Its really the only way tbh putting urself out there isn’t possible for everyone so I do feel for the introverts but its no one’s job to ensure they get a partner so 😂

[@TheExtrovertedHermit]

The solution is put down the phone, log off of the computer, leave your house and meet people in the real world like we used to.

[@CarlemEllis]

But I can’t leave my house 😂

[@anikajoy5739]

They want to keep you looking for someone "better" Never commit when the appshows you endless amounts of people

[@khady_Ndiaye]

Meeting on a dating app is the least exiting “how we met”-story ever.

[@anthonytorres393]

....who cares?

[@Young4eva121]

Though I completely understand where you’re coming from, it’s okay! It’s not how you met that matters, it’s the quality of the relationship! My sister met her current husband on a dating app and they’ve been married for 5 years and they’re absolutely amazing! Don’t worry about how you met! It won’t matter. You’ll find someone how you’re meant to! Good luck! ❤❤❤

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

Honestly agree. I met my gf on a dating app five years ago and I’m so grateful but I do wish we had a cuter story😂 “How’d you two meet?” “Bumble” “Oh”

[@mu3191]

I guess? but really, who cares how people meet each other

[@MsMvsc]

why does it need to be exciting? back in the day, I don't think "he was my hs sweetheart", "My mom introduced us", or "we met at church" were exactly riveting stories either

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Third places are disappearing. Inner cities are dying. Where to go?

[@TwistedLullabies]

No where. You have to use dating apps or social media now

[@Rita-kx3yr]

There are places, but everything costs money, so you really have to go for yourself, not to find love. As you might start debating the merits of spending money on some activity or class when you can save money staying at home or going to the park.

[@morbid1.]

As a millennial who started relationships before online dating I must say one very important thing: if you're not moderately handsome at minimum, you have no chances, because it's a model catalogue. None of my relationships happen because I'm a looker, all of them were result of friendships and personal relations build up from scratch. Dating was the last part of the process, right now it's the first. Since dating apps came I have no luck, use them for a while and then just drop it for years, then again try get back with hopes that maybe something changed and leave it again.

[@_Dark222Angel_]

This is silly because someone might not believe they are handsome but I will. I like big guy with a belly, bald, maybe crooked teeth, and a simple life. Problem is most guys will put me an a pedestal and either smother me or push me away out of insecurity. Its hard out here for everyone, even pretty women. Alot of people are emotionally immature thats the real issue i think. no matter where you meet them 😅

[@KristinaHuegelOnStage]

​@_Dark222Angel_ this!! I have always had a thing for kinda "nerdy" guys, and my current boyfriend does fit my type. I have never gravitated towards conventionally "handsome", muscly guys, probably especially because of bad experiences I had with f*@kbois in college and in my early 20s. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there also have been studies that show personality can actually make a difference in how attractive men appear to hetero women. If a guy is funny, interesting, intelligent and kind, it goes a long way. Also if they don't treat me like an object or resource from the get-go 🙃

[@Neo.Jordon]

Just be taller and richer. They like ugly guys.

[@rengurenge]

Online dating existed since millennials were children and it was always full with creeps who wants to get in women's panties

[@sunnyandthechlo]

I’ve always thought the idea of swiping was weird. I remember in college during a first class I’d look around a room and see the best looking people at first glance. After a few weeks my mind would be drastically changed. Talking to people I connected with would make them more attractive and talking to people I didn’t connect with would make them less attractive. So judging just on looks doesn’t really give a best impression.

[@becca53444]

It’s laughable that they charge people to filter out who actually wants a relationship or not, and who shares your religion and fundamental values. As if anyone is gonna willingly scroll past hundreds of people that are straight up incompatible, and hope they find one or two profiles that align with them. Just meet people in real life at that point. It’s the same odds of it working out.

[@144bby]

Old enough to remember when internet dating was considered cringey, how did so many people forget when these apps came out? 😂😂 glad everyone sees it now.

[@TwistedLullabies]

This doesn't mean people are going to start meeting in real life again

[@markigirl2757]

Oh I recall haha I was there when it first became a thing and hated it and did it the old fashion way finding my partner. It’s nice to see I was right all along about online dating lol

[@mateaukalua4426]

When society made it disgusting to cold approach. Men had no other options than public ridicule or online dating. No man wants to be the ONLY guy in his city cold approaching. If you're isolated you can easily be targeted and ridiculed.

[@PrincessCarrieChan]

Meeting someone from dating apps has never ignited the same spark for people as spontaneous social interaction has. Plus, not many of us want to admit it but the men worth dating don’t have time for those silly apps. Perfectly normal successful women are on dating apps, but truly you won’t find their male counterpart on the same apps. So of course we are burnt out

[@valeriew4833]

I think meeting someone through a friend or out somewhere makes you see them as a person and not a profile. It's just an idea I'm not entirely sure

[@asdfxcvbn746]

why do you think men are looking for "successful" women? men don't even want that.

[@anavasquez5231]

The successful women stole the jobs from those potential male counterparts and drove down the wages so they can't even buy homes. But uhhhh yeah, enjoy your career or whatever.

[@prima-madalina]

@@asdfxcvbn746 oh be quiet, you guys say that but then you get mad when women are financially supported by men. can you even AFFORD to date an unsuccessful woman?? lmao

[@ladybug3380]

@@asdfxcvbn746those same men will complain that she took all “his money” when she divorces him because she wasn’t successful and had no assets to lose. If you want a woman to stay home to take care of you, the home and the children then your money is her money. If you don’t want that then date someone who’s on the same social class as you so you both are financially independent and bring your assets together. Prenups are smart!

[@CaptainYaadie]

This modern trend of dating is just both genders not wanting anything to do with each other which is kinda crazy.

[@user-kx1sl8wd1s]

It’s very sad

[@kolonarulez5222]

With Matchmakers its not that elders didn't trust youth in love it's that marriage was a business arrangement by parents over land, status, and lineage. So even worse.

[@twelvexstring]

When I started building apps I realized that the entire premise of dating apps promotes dating, not long term relationships. There are studies that show having the number of options you have on dating apps will keep you dissatisfied with any commitments you make and keep you coming back to see if there’s a better option just a swipe away. I stopped using dating apps and stopped dating altogether. I think the entire idea of dating is becoming outdated now that women can live a quality life without a man’s help.

[@AlexParkYT]

I don't take anything corporations say at face value. I look at their actions and their motives. A lot of corporations have no problem lying and zero remorse.

[@mn0g0nm]

their motives are to put more money in their pockets than they spend on making a decent app, or they would be running their matchmaking services as a 501c ofc they lie, they will do what they can get away with if it makes them money, or they risk losing their position in the market, that's how it works. sucks, don't it?

[@viridianacortes9642]

Has anyone else had this experience with dating apps lately? I have swiped left and right and it seems like pretty much all the men I get are incompatible with me (politically, religiously and physically). Also, I’m like not attracted to any of them. Not one of them. At all. It’s weird (no I’m not gay. I like men and women are not for me. I have been attracted to men. But not any on this app).

[@morbid1.]

Because attractiveness is not just looks but dating apps are only about swiping on photos and maybe vague descriptions. Trust me, I have life experience in being handsome-less \(￣︶￣*\)) and still had relationships with very good looking women.

[@socks1w]

Yes it’s weird. And I keep being shown people who live in another state no matter what my settings are on. 😫

[@mn0g0nm]

I know some apps make bot women to keep men on the hook, I wonder if there are bot dudes for women to reject?

[@crustycrabpizza4581]

I kind of had the same thing but for me they would always show me guys who were like 20 years older than me ( I am not into that) I changed the age filter because I wasn’t even aware there was one and for some reason I would always get guys who live so far away from me like almost in another country (I am European). It sucked and I also didn’t really find anyone attractive because everyone just looks the same and has the same 3 hobbies

[@ville__]

Who cares

[@Allystargirl]

The guys I’ve met on dating apps, have been the type to either want to obviously get in my pants before even having a proper conversation with me 😑 gross, or, they just immediately want to rush me into a relationship but as soon as it starts, it’s like I hardly matter or exist as my own person anymore, they don’t actually like *me* they just like what I can do for *them* gf perks. Gag. There’s no in between.

[@markigirl2757]

That was what annoyed me too when I was speed dating bc I’m like I need to make sure I like u enough to do the gf thing lolol

[@user-kx1sl8wd1s]

It’s so frustrating

[@franciscomartinez514]

Sad to say I gave up on dating long time ago I’m 38 years old and dating has been exhausting especially in this era I just said I’m done I have been single ever since all these dating apps are trash !

[@zlatkajupe]

Tinder is when online dating became even more shallow than it already was. You literally decided who you wanted to talk to based off a photo. Not much info whatsoever. Never liked it.

[@thesammielee]

I found my boyfriend on bumble almost 2 and a half years ago. Still going strong and we still remember little things from our first date! Nothing was behind a paywall for us back then and it's a shame that they're putting up these billboards and making people pay for basic things.

[@iunnor]

I think human psychology has changed as the internet matures. There has never been more of a cognitive dissonance between a real person and what’s on the screen.

[@user-kx1sl8wd1s]

🎯🎯🎯

[@jerranpope9688]

Not the dating apps it's the ego of the people on there, you can't have a normal conversation on there anymore to get to know people without them thinking oh I can find better or lets see what I can get out of this it's crazy.

[@xg2513]

Hinge was driving me crazy. It seemed like it only showed me people I had nothing in common with and who I wasn’t attracted to. I’m a guy, seeking men. Dating is bleak for me, and I really wanna meet someone but it seems impossible because I’m already a weird person with niche hobbies and interests etc. but the apps are a total nightmare.

[@chantalreneehayles7976]

There’s only so much you can do when ppl are the product. Dating apps are fine . It’s the people on them (the product itself) that suck.

[@Xxxbluebirdxxx]

Bringing up celibacy or abstinence has such a religious connotation to it that it feels insulting that they would use that as a negative. I feel like it alienates not just people who have made that decision to wait, (because believe it or not, you can use the dating apps without sleeping around) But it alienates those in the asexual community that already feel isolated because they don't feel that kind of attraction, who are also people on these apps because they also want love. Celibacy in choosing to be a nun is part of a belief system and those people aren't in their target demographic, It feels like they chose to punch down at people who made a life choice that has nothing to do with their branding or business. I've been very interested in this industry.As a single woman, that's been on my own for a couple of years and used the apps inappropriately or deciding currently to be off of the apps for a good portion of time (when I get a good footing on myself and am ready to commit to my real wants.) I keep trying to think about features I would look for in an app that would help me find someone who would actually be compatible in the long run. Ive been learning about dating as a general thing from articles and experts both those who advocate for using apps and those who believe it is better to search for people in real life In order to approach the next round as strategically as possible. Dating app fatigue and the loneliness industry are massive issues that pray on our most basic human needs for belongingness and community, Particularly in the type of relationship we are expected to be the most vulnerable and connected to. It's evil and vulnerable and A massive contributor to negative outcomes in the mental health of everyone.

[@markigirl2757]

Yeah it was pretty gross people who hate on asexuals are pissed bc they can’t find real connections bc of their sex addiction smh

[@westbdeon]

Im 27 black and male. I had the best experience on Hinge. Thats where I met my girl who is my age. I live close to several college campuses so finding a young college educated woman was not hard at all, especially as a black man with a degree. When I met my girl she was finishing her masters program. Dating apps aside, the best way for people to date is to be around people in more casual and platonic settings. Having regular access to a wide range of women on a Platonic level is key. On top of dating apps, i had access to talking to a wide range of female professionals as part of my job. I did a lot of social work that exposed me to female professionals who werent my colleagues nor clients. As part of my job I had no choice but to talk to women who were Nurses, teachers, counselors, other social workers etc. It gave me the chance of practing talking game to hundreds of women every week. All of it was just normal/ casual convos that turned to countless dating experiences. Im not gonna say what I do for a living and where, just know social workers are getting it in just like nurses lol.

[@halwaffles]

My dating experience has been very different as I have refused to use dating apps. As someone who isn't conventionally attractive, I know using a dating app would probably destroy my self esteem more than anything else. All of my boyfriends have been people that were friends/people I knew through friends, which has worked a lot better for me and has been more comfortable. That said, I realize this is not the case for a lot of people, as I know lots of people don't have that kind of access to potential partners. I still think meeting someone outside of a dating app if at all possible can feel a lot more authentic and fulfilling if it can be arranged, though.

[@TheGreatman12]

Finally the neurotypicals are catching on

[@markigirl2757]

Right I knew this would become worse when k was speed dating! I’m glad gen z are finally standing up against this I hope other older millennials wake up too!

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

When the dating app advertisements became self aware, I was so grossed out. I noticed it too. Hadn’t even seen the tiktoks yet! Great conversation

[@lazysnorlax3015]

NO NO NO they always knew what exactly they were doing. These businesses analyze everything about a user. Their preferences in partners when it comes to race, religion, hobbies, or wanting a relationship, and their activity on the app. They monetize that and try to get you to spend money.

[@PossibleBat]

As a younger millennial woman, all I wanted was to find a passion in life I could dedicate my ambition to, a nice work-life balance, and a close, familiar face I could call my best friend until death. Sex I didn’t care, I’m very generous and giving so I was pretty okay with the idea of doing it to please my partner, I really never cared that much about my own pleasure, I still don’t care much, yeah it’s nice but there’s other things in life that bring me more pleasure. They destroyed my passion and field (creative, arts), they isolated me from familiar faces (confined us to an unbalanced work-life cycle, 2 economic crashes, etc) and sold me as a consumable objects to the other sex (hook up culture) making most men I met have sex all the time in their heads. I now don’t desire any of that, I’ve accepted the harsh truth and I just want to be in peace, to convince me now to give up my peace for struggle? They have lost their damn minds, I’m never accepting that deal. I still try to fight the system with what I can, but I’m never getting my dreams and hope back.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

"Sex I didn’t care, I’m very generous and giving so I was pretty okay with the idea of doing it to please my partner" --- huge RED FLAG for most men... this is how sexless marriages start. she's nonchalant about sex, only doing it for you while she gets nothing out of it. then it becomes like a job to her, then an obligation. & the minute the guy can't do everything she wants, sex stops altogether. most men would never marry a woman like this. "As a younger millennial woman" --- most likely over age 30... you might be cooked. "They destroyed my passion and field (creative, arts), they isolated me from familiar faces (confined us to an unbalanced work-life cycle, 2 economic crashes, etc)" --- who is THEY ??? "sold me as a consumable objects to the other sex (hook up culture) making most men I met have sex all the time in their heads." --- sounds like you made a choice to indulge in hookup culture yourself... lack of accountability, RED FLAG #2 "I now don’t desire any of that" ---- oh so NOW its different? but back when you were young, hookup culture was fine... i see... smh "I’ve accepted the harsh truth and I just want to be in peace" --- this sounds like cope because you got older & hit the wall. "I still try to fight the system with what I can, but I’m never getting my dreams and hope back." --- based on your own words, you did this to yourself.

[@vklnew9824]

Lay off the sweet's

[@markigirl2757]

At this point it’s better to be single and not worth the risk. It’s hard to find genuine people (both women and men are shallow as fuck let’s not pretend lol) it’s better to be single then be bitter with abusive partners that only want u bc they are desperate and can’t think for themselves smh

[@PossibleBat]

@@vklnew9824?

[@AmandaValentinaR]

Not the bumble ad at start of the video

[@IaconDawnshire]

I'm Gen X and I'm done. What's the point of going on a dating site when I'm gonna be swiped left by 100% of the time

[@johnmartin298]

I think the bumble app's issue was you're putting the power and the pressure on women, when traditionally, they were not expected to, and some cases outright discouraged from making the first move. Onto of that with this social climate, of women making the first move; their only going to pick certain men, which gives that percent pick of the litter, and the green light to mistreat women. At the same time, it alienates other men, who consequently either give up, or take the "Pay to play" method, which boosts egos, and the profits of the companies, thus they'll make that a requirement. With a lot of women being in an echo chamber where, "Your the prize, if he wanted to he would, and go for the gold" No matter who they pick; they'll always be unsatisfied, because there'll always be something better. It just sucks for both sides, tbh

[@asdfxcvbn746]

damn, even the men blaming everything on men lol smh

[@Cyhcg5uhgb]

​@@asdfxcvbn746 he said both sides... learn how to read

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@Cyhcg5uhgb but he shouldn't be... most of this is women's fault.

[@thisopinionwillexpire]

Thanks for giving a little history lesson at the beginning. I saw that in another one of your videos, and it really shows how you go that extra mile

[@tinysey]

thank you for noticing ☺

[@rexxlashell99]

As a older Gen Z that was on and off dating apps for 6 years (I'm very socially awkward so meeting new people has always been hard for me), I'm officially 1000% DONE with dating apps. It seemed like most of the folks that's always messaged me on those apps (mainly men, although I'm also attracted to women and non binary ppl) wasn't no good AT ALL. They always even wanted a one night stand with me super late at night, have s3x with me because they wanna cheat on their husband/wife/partner ,or because they're simply "curious" about how it feels to "F*** a fat woman" (the amount of people that fetishize big women on those apps is ridiculous). I also recently decided to choose celibacy, over wanting a potential relationship with someone, because it seems like you gotta go through a bunch of garbage just to find that rare gem....and plus being single is more peaceful anyways!!!!!

[@madxprofessor]

I've had more luck just going out and meeting people organically, I'm 30 and never been in a relationship because everyone "just wants something causal" or ends up treating me worse than garbage by meet up 2, I say meet up and not date because if I mention the words 'go out' or 'let's do something fun' they run the opposite direction even if I offer to pay.

[@mateaukalua4426]

Bro I am 30 and I have had several good friendships. Literally 6-8 months of us hanging out I will be like hey I am slowly catching feelings. They end the friendship immediately. 😢

[@SlashinatorZ]

Million dollar question: How do I even meet girls in person when I'm not in highschool anymore? I live in a car-dependent suburb in Texas where everything is so fking spread out I have to be a super commuter for every errand. Most people living here are boomers or families with young children so the dating pool is very shallow. I'm very poor & normally cannot afford a 50 dollar emergency so moving is an absolute fairy tale.

[@RaptureHead1993]

Gave up on friends and women back in 2014. In 2024 I gave up on society. To be with God is all I want and ever will want

[@7ten]

People forget that Tinder started off as a hookup app. It's interesting to see how it's managed to change its image to dating, and now Gen Z are (understandably) unaware of it's original intention. That's how it got popular so fast. It wasn't particulary easier to use than other apps, it was just so blatently focused on swipes based on looks. It didn't pretend to be anything it wasn't, unlike other dating sites.

[@SmallBobby]

I completely deleted my accounts on all the ones I had signed up. They were in deactivated mode for some months, but still existed. Now, they're completely wiped. I'm done done.

[@mn0g0nm]

dating apps played themselves bc they lead ppl on, EXACTLY like men tend to do, and after giving these apps too many chances, women fkkn caught on to the fact that their time was being wasted for no reason & noped tf out, as women tend to do

[@amethyst1062]

I think it’s not leading you on if they just require time to think(if they don’t date other people or you during this time)

[@mateaukalua4426]

Women lead men on much more often I think.

[@MuusiicRafael]

14:50 It's not only the dating apps' fault, but also the intentions of the people who use these apps. Maybe they should separate people based on what they're actually looking for. The hooking up people with the hooking up people. The "not sure" sure people with the "not sure" people. And the relationship people with the relationship people.

[@sushimitten]

The problem with that is deception. Men will pretend they want something long term just to get laid and then ghost.

[@ArletteMaotieBomahou]

That's why the Meet up groups are gaining popularity. I met my husband in a Sea Swimming meet up group 2 years ago. I had given up on online and closed off all my accounts dating

[@user-or2vq1vq9w]

Dating apps are very effective because it saves time and gets to the point, especially with your core values but dating apps are made to make money not help people find love.

[@IndigenousExotical]

As for the billboards, it’s funny. I took a vow of celibacy for 1 year after the worst, coercive dating experience I had on Bumble. This changed my life. It started my decentering men journey. As soon as I said I was ready to date after that year+ of time, i had multiple dates for ONE week all of whom I met IRL at the vegan markets I worked/volunteer at. And in less than a month, i chose the person I liked most and it has been 2.5 years since. I strongly believe my celibacy and decentering men journey helped balance and heighten my inner peace and balance and THAT is what attracted better options for me.

[@honieebean]

Someone said they only match people enough they think they're a match but will break up and be on the app again We live in a corporatocracy now I swear

[@666venus]

Met my bf of 6 years off Tinder - he was on internship in Chicago for a summer & ended up going back home to France afterwards --- we've lived together going on 4 years together.

[@daughterphoenix]

I only have one ex I met on a dating app back in 2016. After that I met someone at a conference, a poetry reading, and the boxing gym. Just because “everyone’s on them” doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to find quality people on an app; it might actually mean you’re getting the bottom of the barrel. Touching grass still works!

[@AlexCab_49]

Meeting people irl is much better than meeting ppl online anyway. And those apps are swimming with scammers

[@lololuv2012]

Most men I’ve met from dating apps saying they don’t know what they want or that they are looking for something serious, but both of those meant they weren’t. I think women are tired of the disrespect with men treating it like uber and we are the product. I think the best way will be dating events in person. There’s this one I’ve been going to but even there a good amount aren’t interested in something serious. Like go to a bar if that’s your thing? So there’s only a few quality guys (these are small though) and last time I was talking to a dude for a while and this girl jumped in and it felt almost like a competition to I left cause that’s not my thing. I am going to their coffee shop speed dating even in 2 weeks so I’ll see how it goes 😬. But dating app companies are so dumb as though making it hard to find someone lasting can be profitable, it isn’t profitable in the long run once people catch on.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

you keep chasing top 10% men that don't need/want to settle down. they just lie on the apps & say they want to settle down because they know thats what women like you want to hear. meanwhile they're running through women like water, while the guy thats right for you sits in your friend zone. it is what it is.

[@lololuv2012]

@@asdfxcvbn746 ah a ‘manospeare’ guy. I’m not going to entertain engaging in your discourse as you will never listen or respect me as a human, but get well soon 💜

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@lololuv2012 this has nothing to do with manosphere, these are statistics straight from tinder & bumble. women swipe on the top 10% of men & ignore everyone else & then they wonder why they can't find anybody. based on your response, it sounds like you'd prefer to stay in delusion & you'd rather hear a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth... which doesn't affect me at all, it affects you.

[@prettyglowin694]

@@asdfxcvbn746 most men on these apps are undateable. You redpilled men are not some "hidden diamond". Sorry. We'd rather be cat ladies than settle.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@asdfxcvbn746 But what the heck is the ‘top ten percent of men’?

[@lizchesley6028]

Idk if this helps anybody, but I was using dating apps in 2022. I have a partner I met on them that I’m still with. I felt like I was most successful and met the most cool people when I was just focusing on using the apps to “meet people” and not automatically put a dating context into it until I met the person. Takes the pressure off and also helps deter the creeps.

[@sonja4990]

I think we're circling back, like you said, to needing to utilize more organic/older methods of finding someone. Yet, also like you said, we're in a rut with that because we're losing third spaces and in-person friendships and networks are lacking for a lot of people. It's harder to meet a potential significant other through friends, church, clubs, etc. now but I think that's one of the better ways to actually have a successful relationship.

[@lowkeyjayde8914]

So glad I found your page recently!

[@crustycrabpizza4581]

This is my second video of yours that I am watching and I have to compliment you! You’re so smart and insightful i always learn something new on your channel and it’s very interessting to listen to what you have to say. Great job ❤

[@emilia8620]

Its not really the dating apps in themselves, its how you used them and how you look out for yourself, if you're somewhat smart you will learn what to look out for. If someone just answer their prompts on hinge with "....." Maybe hes not that serious..

[@Neo.Jordon]

With fewer pics, and no information you get more matches, consistently. Say you want marriage or anything serious on your profile, and its like you get blacklisted.

[@OriginalContent89]

Everything is expensive now. On top of everything else, who wants to get nickled and dimed just to talk to people who will most likely ghost you anyway?

[@gullahface]

You spoke with a ton of empathy for bumble like its not just another company Bumble does not care about you or your safety just like McDonalds Starbucks or any other corporation with a vested interest in growth

[@SofiaManzin]

Such an insightful video analysis! Love from Italy :)

[@III-bite087]

These tech developers need to sociologists and psychologists on their teams. I seriously question if this is a rage campaign, I can’t understand how this ad got the okay

[@mossy_brickens]

Of topic, you reminded me about the thing I was thinking about gamification. That is really a gamblification, yeah. Real gamification is when you make things more funny, more playful, not when you make yourself addicted to the amount of levels and points you've got. And it's personal, unique to a person who's gamifing something. One person might enjoy games with a lot of rush that requires constantly be focused and have a good reaction, another person might enjoy building structures in Minecraft creative. Their gamifications are completely different from one another.

[@xdani_thethinkingneko]

I agree with you up until the very end when you say that people had a problem with matchmakers, because of the fact that they didn't have access to as many different type of people. It's much more complicated than that. Many times when someone was going to a matchmaker, they did not have the right to say no. That's for the issue comes in. When people didn't have the right to say no.

[@0gfjvih5]

hate dating apps, im not an ugly guy, i have a career, and i have a good head on my shoulders. never get any likes or matches, always at bottom of stack. feel incredibly insecure about it and it hurts bad every time i think ab dating. went from having a good time and making it work in school to entering the workforce and being left in the dust :(

[@slumy8195]

because they are designed to keep you in a shadow banned algorithm to force u to pay them to boost. As gen z mindlessly says it "monetization of loneliness"

[@Kehnuff]

I was addicted to apps like Tinder and Grindr for literal years. The burnout is astronomical. I saw the same people who had no interest in me, people I had no interest in, and people I tried to date but ultimately didn't work out. I don't think I ever felt lonelier than when I was constantly swiping on apps, ever hopeful that I would finally meet someone. The damage to my image and mental health really spiraled because I believed I would never be good enough for anyone. I finally met someone last year and we've been together ever since, and I'm so happy to be done with it, but, God forbid, should we ever break up I will never return to these apps.

[@indiebish7045]

I audibly went "lemme just go head and subscribe" the minute I clicked on this video cause I stay watching ur video essays and they're always so well edited and in depth. AND U MAD PRETTY TOO soooo 😁❤

[@tinysey]

😊thank you and welcomeeee!

[@yolandacharlesmusic]

Appreciate your commentary - there is something very very cool coming. This summer I believe. I think it’ll answer and make obsolete the dating apps entirely. Glad to see that day.

[@VannaMae]

When I stopped going online for the answers, that's when I found the one. Offline time is the best time, we take it for granted.

[@thisislenard]

great video, never been much of a dating app person but it's really interesting to hear the effects of it

[@Evie842]

I'm so glad i met my bf in person. Using a dating app as a woman felt so dehumanising

[@126theman]

“Only focus on nine people” bro I have 0 people.

[@andrewevans7992]

Im 27 now and i have better options irl but women seem to be shy or ignore me but stare at me from a far distance.. kinda sucks but i dont wanna get accused of something if they don’t actually like me

[@rgggxo]

It's amusing (in the worst way) how shortsighted capitalism is. They put everything behind a pay wall hoping for a quick payday for their investors, and they probably got it. But in the long term they completely destroyed their business model as a whole 😅

[@yaboyjosh3023]

Honestly, the future is bleak. The last relationship of 2 years ended like 3 or 4 years ago. Tried talking to someone at work. We had a lot in common, and conversations would go on for hours. Almost like, every time we had to part ways, we left off on an unfinished thought. She had told me she was seeing someone. Currently, you're definitely right. I'm burnt, burnt out, and just tired of sacrificing what emotional stability and potential further emotional damage with trying to go out in the wild and see other people. I've honestly just given up at the moment. Not because I put a generalized label on women, but because I'm simply out of options.

[@IlikepurpleXP]

The thing I don’t get about dating apps is the fact that everyone who goes on them (men and women) all claim to want the same thing so how tf does *everyone* keep running to the lowest of low humans vs just a few bad eggs?

[@dave23024]

Dating apps exist, so the top 1% of men have the privilege of dating the bottom 1% of women.

[@_kaleido]

I’ve never used dating apps, glad to see I’m not really missing out on anything 😅

[@craigcarter400]

Some time between the time of divorce and when I met my GF, I was on Facebook dating. I didn’t even meet her through that, the radius of our locations at the time was a bit too high. Instead we saw the same facebook post, liked each other’s responses to the post, and messaged each other from there. The Facebook radius was 4 hours max (which would show occasionally), and we were more like 7 hours apart.

[@neverbackdown1918]

Ehh, I could see the reason why ancient societies had matchmakers, whether it be professional, or familial. Often times teenagers DO make bad relationship decisions based on the wrong reasons. If the community knew that a man was violent, maybe they could dissuade women from dating them. Yes, I realize this is a best case scenario and this most likely wasn’t how it was used.

[@user-ku6iw3yb6b]

This is wild! I met my fiance on bumble 3 years ago and the what are you looking for filter was FREE! So greedy of them to put that behind a paywall 😢

[@Ohwell32]

Hi there. Great video! I want to encourage people to accept invitations as much as possible. Taking classes for interests you enjoy is also a good idea. Getting involved in volunteering could also be great in many ways. Find ways to open your horizons

[@forgottenartform]

When it comes to dating apps it cab be a double edged sword if you're LGBTQIA+ and don't live in a city or larger town. On the one hand it'd be nice to be able to meet people in person somewhere you know theres minimal risk of backlash, so using apps can be a bit safer, but on the other hand the people on apps are either just looking for hookups or try to move way too fast. At this point im quite content being single and doing my own things (running, writing articles, getting back to powerlifting etc)