Millennials can’t afford their own lives, let alone children || Motherhood In Progress

[@ingridgallagher1029]

They said not to have kids if we can't afford them because its irresponsible. Ok so we took that advice to heart and now we're selfish. Definitely a lose - lose scenario

[@BM_100]

Those are the same type of people who also welcome mass immigrants, who have 4-8 kids per woman.

[@ConceptHut]

They? Are you saying the exact same individual people? It sounds like when a person says "women say x" and think all women say x.

[@olivia.angel_x]

its more selfish to have kids imo

[@marart926]

​@ConceptHut uhh it's referencing common tropes said about and to people by people. Kinda like how a lot of women hear, "When are you going to have children?" By family/friends/strangers

[@mollyprysunka7741]

@@ConceptHutthe family planning/sex education classes we all had to take, “they,” and the news reporting on the reality of young people not birthing children into poverty (no one to work shit jobs)

[@msoda8516]

Choosing not to have children, because you’ve thought of the financial ramifications is literally the opposite of selfishness.

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

Exactly so many just pop them out when they canr even support themselves then expect society to help or worse are the slugs that tell others to have kids.

[@lilpoopOHYUM]

I wouldn’t say it’s “self less” It’s just because you don’t want to spend money on a kid, you want your money for yourself And there is nothing wrong with that honestly

[@Snappypantsdance]

I don’t agree really. I think there have always been hardships. My grandparents thought they couldn’t afford to have kids.

[@vanillavania.]

@@lilpoopOHYUMOr you want the best for your kid and you’re just not in the position to provide the things a kid will need and/or want. I’m basically on the fence of the situation but I feel like if you are of the mindset that I indicated above (the latter) then I would in all respect consider it *selfless* to not have children.

[@lilpoopOHYUM]

@@vanillavania. what I’m saying is that you don’t need to be rich to have a kid If you aren’t going to have a kid bc you arnt rich, that’s a preference

[@kishapalomalani3105]

When I had a baby 12 years ago, I bought my house for $200,000. The same house is more than double now. A can of formula was $18 and lasted me 2 weeks. The same amount for formula now costs $50!!! Please explain how having kids is affordable.

[@jaspan7437]

You're one of the few that understands

[@IshtarNike]

Yep. Wages stayed the same and house prices doubled.

[@Bree-fz4gy]

I graduated in 06, can of tuna was .10, I could easily find a job that paid very very well without any degrees. I made 3k a month working with sprint with unlimited hours. Rent was 550 for a 2 bed with a beautiful view. That huge crash happened and the job did massive lay off and added restrictions to everyone. Food was very affordable too and I could save. Move on to today. Have a degree, barely make enough to afford rent in my own for my son and I. Groceries about 500-600, gas about 400 a month, and so on. It’s dramatically different then it was

[@laurena9563]

I don't even have children, but out of curiosity I looked up how warehouse buying for diapers (44-50+ bucks) compared to other regular stores after seeing the prices at Costco: Diapers in my area are around 30-35 dollars at even "cheaper" options like Walmart for something that by its nature needs to be thrown away! I just turned thirty and it's wild to me- I feel like I almost would feel guilty worrying about affording things for a child despite having a "respectable" income if I had to commit to having a child today.

[@MasterMLG07]

Well ma'am instead of buying formula you can just spend thousands per year on regular meetings with a licensed medical professional from *the industry* that we all love, and they can maybe probably ensure that you produce enough milk to feed your hungry baby yourself before recommending you buy the formula anyways.

[@Shuang_Shuang]

A single person working a full times job *SHOULD* be able to afford rent, food, healthcare, and a simple holiday every year. They *SHOULD* be able to finance a regular hobby. They're working full time and deserve it! A dual income household *SHOULD* be able to buy property. It's crazy that people have to struggle like this 😢

[@BeczaBot]

Yes! They should be able to have plenty of money leftover so that they can buy a house and be able to raise children! Either with one patent at home or one at home temporarily until the kids go to school OR have enough money to put your kids in childcare while the patents work.

[@unicorn73212]

Yeah I've looked at some of there options they are making it extremely hard on people to pick up two jobs too so I'm not sure about these people on you tube claiming to work 3 jobs unless they live in their truck. It's the inflation and housing costs there also kicking people out of there homes too it's making people wonder why should we even bother? Why do we have to work if the only people that can find careers have five plus years of experience for an entry level job? They also want degree or car for an entry level job? That's were there messing up. When they ask for entry level they need to be asking for just a diploma with no experience needed they also need to cater to some of these people a little bit too and let them pick there own schedules.

[@michaeldpa1333]

Corporations consider "Shareholders" as 1st class citizens. They rest of us Serf's are just "Disposable Consumers"!

[@MomOfThree_333]

The key word is "should," but sadly, it's not reality. God's grace is what feeds my family, not this economy

[@justacutepieceofshit]

@@MomOfThree_333lol are you for real? Quit your job and see how “god” feeds your family. YOU feed your family. Your efforts keep them alive.

[@lizcollinson2692]

Remember the groups that say, just balance your budget will blame you if you have kids and end up homeless. They are not on your side, so don't listen to them.

[@josh2482]

They will also blame you for declining population when you are financially responsible and don't have kids you can't afford.

[@oneperson5760]

So youd rather listen to people who tell you to live foolishly and run up a bunch of debt?

[@lizcollinson2692]

@@oneperson5760 balance a budget is not a solution to a cost you cannot control. The people deciding not to have kids are making steps, it's the ones saying "just balance the budget" so you can who are expecting reckless financial decision making.

[@oneperson5760]

@@lizcollinson2692 , I dont understand how you can interpret 'balance your budget' into reckless financial decision making. Making a budget and living within it is anything but reckless, whether you have children or not.

[@bensheard3969]

​@@oneperson5760because saying balance your budget as a solution to having children is inherently reckless because your budget could easily be 30k a year. You can't turn shit into diamonds my friend.

[@aspiring...]

Surviving and thriving are not the same. I do not want to just survive and get by.

[@nicoobrowner]

If you have to choose between 'thriving' financially and having offspring in your lifetime, what would you choose?

[@liamwacey807]

​@@nicoobrowner Thriving in my lifetime, 100%

[@nicoobrowner]

@liamwacey807 Thanks for sharing sir. Everyone wants to thrive their entire lifetime. That is impossible though and that's ok. Life is full of ups and downs. I am waiting for the lovely lady who commented to share her thoughts on my question though ❤️❤️❤️

[@watermelonlover745]

#bidenflation

[@Seamannon]

​@@nicoobrowner thriving in my lifetime (answer provided by a woman with her biological clock running out soon). Why? Because I was just surviving all my life, as were my parents after I was born. I currently can't even afford providing for my cat without relying on help from somebody else, there is no space or recources for a child in my life. If I was to get pregnant, it would probably be the end for both of us. I never even wanted to have children, because I was the oldest child and the burden of caring for younger siblings (cooking, cleaning, helping them with school), left me drained, depressed and anxious as a a child and it never really went away, (it probably got even worse). I feel like I never had a chance to be carefree or play as a child, I was also bullied at school and "punished" at home for anything my caregivers wouldn't like that day or simply for existing and reminding them of their past choices they regretted. If I find a way to thrive in my lifetime, I have no intention of giving it up to birth a child and be a resentful and unreliable mom like my mom was to me. I intend to break rhe cycle of abuse in my family. If I somehow changed my mind about children, I'd still prefer to adopt or find a partner with child to care for. I don't understand people who make it seem like a child not carrying their genes doesn't count as family.

[@FingerThatO]

Everyone is one Healthcare bill from bankruptcy

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

This is true. An ambulance ride is $3000 alone

[@Scriptkitty-sd8dp]

Literally

[@Egh0127]

Yep!!

[@CTEvie]

Or a major car repair

[@selmalovestodance]

Correction: everyone in America. There’s a lot of countries with basic healthcare for everyone. Thanks to social democrats btw (unfortunately many working class people seem to forget that these days).

[@emilymaeproudfoot]

As the product of teen parents who were broke af, who had my siblings way later on in life when they were financially stable/thriving, the differences between our upbringings are massive. And this was at a time when government funded childcare existed, that support isn’t even available now. My mum was stuck in an abusive relationship for a lot of my childhood because she could not afford to leave him, like people do not realise that money = choice. The less money you have, the less choices and the less freedom you have. It’s actually refreshing to see people being realistic about what having a child entails, it’s called being responsible.

[@michaeldpa1333]

Amen!

[@fairywingsonroses]

This. Telling people to "choose" to move somewhere else or be homeless, or "choose" to forego medical care and have life-long health problems don't realize that those aren't real choices. They're ultimatums, which is NOT the same thing. Setting yourself on a budget is a choice. Deciding to switch to a different department at work is a choice. Staying in an abusive relationship because you can't afford to leave is NOT a choice.

[@julie-zmb]

@@fairywingsonrosesthis is perfectly written 🫡

[@Network126]

I'm 36, never married, homeless since the pandemic, and living in an old Toyota Sienna minivan now, despite working, and not addicted to drugs.

[@Network126]

Even if I could afford the ridiculous rents, I'd rather stay in my Sienna, and not throw that money away.

[@Network126]

@AO-46613 Fuck renting. I'd rather own a house the size of a shed than rent something. That's why I bought the van. It's MINE.

[@didi7074]

I'm honestly considering living in a mini van to save money for a house but problem is it's illegal in my country. Even camping outside of the designated areas (where you pay to be there, can't be there more than x time and hundreds of people are there too). We have no rights when it comes to renting, they throw as out with no warning and we just have to suck it up

[@GusFring1992]

I hope you find your feet soon. That’s actually not a bad financial decision. I hope you can afford to invest so one day you’ll have a home. Good for you for staying employed and not doing drugs.

[@Network126]

@@GusFring1992 It wasn't really a financial decision... I'm just trying to survive. This is a very difficult and depressing lifestyle. I literally wake up in a different parking lot everyday. I have no real stability or safety. It's driving me crazy. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up for. Honestly I'm falling apart out here. I'm not saving anything. I'm not even keeping up with bills anymore. I just get too depressed to work. I do grocery/fast food delivery gigs, since I can't even keep a normal job anymore while living like this.

[@theoriginalr7310]

I am here as a boomer to tell you it was a HELL of a lot of easier for us. That first girl is delulu. She is a giggling airhead who doesn't use any numbers to describe a financial situation. In 1996 hubby and i bought our first home. We live in New Jersey. It was 180k. We made 65k combined. It was less than 3 times our salary. It was a nice, 4 bedroom 2.5 bath that was English country style. Charming. Can you imagine buying a house like that in a safe neighborhood for 3 times your salary? Oh, and by the way we didnt have student loan debt either. It was small enough that we paid it off quickly. Again, can you imagine? I know you younger people hate boomers who don't understand. I agree!! Student loan debt puts you behind the 8 ball off the bat. Also, we have seen all those compound interest charts that say start young. We were able to save and put in the market on top of home ownership. how is someone with student loan debt, huge rent payments supposed to save. My husband retired early and we now have a large net worth. We rarely broke 5 figures in our household income. Sure, there are avocado toast type people, but they are the minority. Most young people today want what we wanted back int he day. House, kids, maybe have one partner stay home a few years until kids are in school..... I only know I am now focused on making sure my son has his college paid for and that we give him a good sized down payment for a house. Unless you have wealthy parents, I don't see how young people today can do it.

[@hermanrosario7045]

as a boomer we did not waste money on silly stuff. now people have cell phone bills, disney plus, netflics, door dash, eating out instead of cooking, starbucks, nails, hair, expensive nike, car loans, school loans, credit cards, amazon. they are being conned, if you want a house get a cheap car and ignore all the rest

[@BoringTroublemaker]

@@hermanrosario7045as a 42 year old who is doing actually really well (no kids, dual income) I need to tell you that you are out of touch with what it actually takes to survive in the world today. This is evidenced by the fact that “cell phone” is listed as a superfluous item in your list. In my job, a smart phone is *required* for MFA (look it up, boomer). A safe, reliable car is a requirement for my personal safety after some old guy ran me off the road when he didn’t check his blind spot and almost killed me leaving me with multiple surgeries and chronic anxiety. I subscribe to a few streaming channels because 1- it’s actually far cheaper than cable and 2. I refuse to support any cable company that carries Fox News. And while you’re sitting in your house that has increased in value 15x, collecting your social security that the rest of us are paying for but will probably never see, remember that the rest of us don’t have a stay-at-home anything to make sure that dinner is on the table, laundry is done, and the house is clean after a long day of work like YOU were privileged enough to have.

[@Dwindledoodoo]

@@hermanrosario7045please do give us some website links to cheap house listings.

[@yazzie208]

@@hermanrosario7045 @hermanrosario7045 I use a minimum cell phone service of 2,99€ a month. My phone has been working well for several years with no plans of replacement and I bought it at a low price. I use the streaming accs of my parents. I don't get my nails done. My hair is natural and I cut it myself. My car is 20 years old. I get my no-name clothes from sales and keep them for a long time. I cook myself. Even my gym membership is the cheapest I could find. Can I afford living alone? Nope. There are lots of Gen Zs like me. And there are also split groups of older generations living like that vs the way you described. So what is your point?

[@Patchouliprince]

@@hermanrosario7045I’m Gen z and I am extremely frugal, I do not own a car, it’s been 5 years since I went out to eat or ordered food, I meal plan and budget like crazy, I keep a firm eye on any money I spend on “entertainment” because it’s not a necessity, my partner and I both work jobs where we make $20+ an hour and we cannot afford a home. We’ve been saving for one for years and we are basically living paycheck to paycheck because prices keep rising or an emergency will happen and all our funds go to that. I have zero debt. I stay on top of counting every single dollar I get and every single dollar I spend. So tell me why I can’t afford to buy a home again? I live in a rural community, this is the cheapest area around, and two adults working full time on good pay cannot afford to buy a home. But it’s because we are buying silly things?? That’s why?

[@Bingewatchingmediacontent]

Sure my dad was able to raise a family of 7 on his single salary, but that same job (assistant manager at a discount store) today would be considered an entry level position which would pay barely above minimum wage. And my parents house was $35K. That same house now costs $800K. Not even kidding. They sold their house and retired on the money, and got a condo in another state. Employers now “hire” contract workers instead of full time permanent employees. Good union jobs are all but gone, and unions are very weak.

[@networth00]

So you're in Cali or NYC or another big liberal city. Not even kidding.

[@thelostcosmonaut5555]

​@networth00 thats all across the US, bud. Trump ain't gonna save you.

[@networth00]

@@thelostcosmonaut5555 Homes in regular areas are still not 800k. Trump can save the USA. Look how Biden is destroying it.

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

Yeah we are in a gig economy

[@StrategikMedia]

So true

[@clint6716]

As an US born only-child who also has financially irresponsible parents, it is not an honor to take care of them. I dont know where this ridiculous notion came from, but my life has been put entirely on hold because of irresponsible choices i had no part of. If you are a parent or a prospective parent, you have an obligation to your children to fund your own retirement. If you willingly forego this responsibility and put that burden on your children, you are an absolutely shit parent.

[@colenaylor6369]

I'm nearly 24, never had a job, I have no social life, and nothing to keep myself from yelling into the void every few hours. I take care of my grandfather full time despite the fact he worked in the mines back when you could make bank doing so. He has 12k in the bank and I'm not allowed a penny. I approve of the above message.

[@Whoisthatns]

@@colenaylor6369yiiiikkkkkeeess 😭😭😭 omg God bless youuuu that’s so unfair 😳 dang I’m shook

[@colenaylor6369]

@Whoisthatns It'll be fine, eventually. Until then, the stray cats love me even if he doesn't.

[@xxgoodnevil17xx]

This is such a good point a lot of people don't realize that millennials don't want to have children because they know they have to take care of their parents and how could they afford to do both on top of all the other s*** we have to pay for

[@xxgoodnevil17xx]

I'll say I'm grateful for everything that my parents gave me but I know pretty soon in the next 5 to 10 years I'll have to completely support them

[@ТаняБирюкова-э3м]

I was born at the start of a huge economic crisis in my country and I'm a third child. My parents made it through, but there are some issues: - my mom was traumatized by all that. And it is not fun to have a mom who is stuck in a survival mode. - my parents prioritized essential stuff, our health and education. I had the ugliest clothes in class and was an unpopular nerd. - as a kid I was generally not allowed to want something. Now my love language is being able to say "I want...", and to express my desires. And so on. I am not ideologically a childfree, but I know how bad economy can affect little children. They can feel their parents' struggling even if they don't understand what's going on. So I just couldn't have babies with a partner who was ok with the idea of having kids before getting our own living space. Even birds have a nest first.

[@stewarln52284]

Even birds have a nest. So so true

[@potato1084]

I live with my husbands mum with our child and it’s nice. Sometimes that nest is within your family home.

[@Nitra813]

💯

[@Stettafire]

I was in high school at the start of ours. The word "depression" feels very apt. Always told I'd achieve nothing and should just give up. Worked my arse off to have a good career but let's be honest, I got lucky. But even though I'm on an ok income I'd struggle to afford kids. I don't know how folk do it

[@beastitaly]

​​​@@potato1084I have lived with my in-laws for a bit and my partner has lived with my parents. We both could not wait to leave: living with parents when you do it because you are financially dependent on them (their house, their rules) is terrible because you are an adult and you have to abide by teenagers rules, even when you contribute to pay the rent or bills. That said, we were never treated poorly. They were great. But still, being in your late 20s and living with parents is tough.

[@terricunningham3965]

People will really get on this app and say “we have three kids, we makes less than $50k, and we’re making it. We get all our clothes from the Goodwill, all our food from the Piggly Wiggly, we never go on vacation and they have no hobbies because we can’t afford. See! If we can do it, you can too.”

[@oneperson5760]

Yes, we will get on and say that. Because family and love is more important to us than money and luxury is.

[@ineedhoez]

Lmaooook!!!!! Right??? And I want my children to suffer in poverty because I wanted to live out my fantasy of having a family!

[@siaosanna]

Being frugal is not the same as suffering in poverty. I grew up in poverty and we had canned green beans and dumpster bread for dinner sometimes. But I do enjoy the fact that I'm ALIVE Humans have always had hard times, just look back on the Great Depression, and yet we band together and pull through. We're not even at 2008 level of hardship yet, let alone Depression Era I showered in rainwater during 2008. Did it suck? Yes. Would I go back and prefer not to exist rather than have financial hardship? Of course not. Not saying everyone should have kids regardless, but frugality is not the end of the world

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

I did just this lol

[@nataliaturner4845]

@@oneperson5760 do you vote?

[@thenerdgirl1]

When I had kids, I could afford them. Now I cry daily as I struggle to buy food for them and keep them housed. My partner and I are both employed. This is wrong. So wrong. My landlord told my partner that people should do jobs that make them happy. She looked at him square in the face and said, if I do the job I went to Uni for that is my passion, I can't afford this rental. He shut up. And I agree that it's messed to tell people to move. I've TRIED to move to the most rural communities. But tight knit communities operate on nepotism and we can't get decent jobs out in the middle of nowhere. So we're stuck in the city, drowning, because we can't afford cheap rent if we're making minimum wage cleaning motels in a small town.

[@MathMagician93]

Rural areas are expensive in other ways: transportation, medical services, and perhaps not as obvious on the monthly budget, but very important for the children: places for them to be besides home or other people's homes. Which I tell everyone who tells me to "jUsT mOvE tO tHe CoUnTrY". If there are not enough of cities (which are just inherently more efficient), they will be overpriced.

[@thenerdgirl1]

@@MathMagician93 it's definitely not a place for opportunity. Which is why people left in the first place? Some people, I tell ya.

[@maureenmurphy7817]

I agree on the falsity of the "move rural" bromide. As you note, the competition for any barely "decent" job is always tight, no matter where you are. And people look of for "their own." I migrated to Washington DC after school from Boston, as it was a place where someone with an education had a shot. Boston was very much only friendly to the most brilliant, or, for everyone else, family connections. Referring to the former, someone like Barak Obama (based on people who knew him as a young man) was a brilliant shining star as a law student and law clerk.... charismatic and intelligent and dazzling, even when he wore one frayed corduroy jacket and had a car with holes in the floor! I have seen people do horrible things to secure a slot for a friend or relative. We are talking finding a way to get rid of an ASSISTANT DOCKET CLERK at a law firm, to open the slot for a cousin who needs a job. There is competition at ALL LEVELS.

[@shannonsampson3267]

In 2021, we moved from the pricey Southwest to a nice/fancy area in Ohio. We are not rural. It is a booming suburb with a lot of opportunity. However, It is no longer affordable here. It is also extremely competitive. Very Few homes are for rent or sale. When they are, you need to be using a conventional loan or cash. No VA, FHA, etc. I could not qualify to buy the house today that I bought just 2½yrs ago. It has increased in value and the rates tripled. I'm glad we got in when we did, but we are also stuck here now and the weather kinda sucks.

[@watermelonlover745]

Bidenflation

[@yourlordship1119]

People are acting like we are a dying species, girlies, there are 8 BILLION+ people, it is not dire. If you don't want kids, don't have them. The only people that are pushing for constant population growth are big companies that want constant economic growth at any cost.

[@theskyischill]

Exactly this! I'm 37 and I do not want children, in huge part for the very reason you presented. I feel like big corpo wants overpopulation and dystopia or something...

[@tvang2039]

And government…for soldiers..for wars.

[@yourlordship1119]

@@tvang2039 I consider the military a big company

[@ms.pirate]

Honestly, the human race is overpopulated. Plus we can live up too 100. I don't that this is an "emergency"

[@AllmostLucy]

​@@tvang2039 And religions to keep earning that money....

[@Multiversity_Inc_Studios]

Emma needs to realize what people view as middle class varies. It's a perspective. Often people with privileges are blind to them because they grow up thinking of what they got as the norm. I have met persons who insisted they were middle class but when you question their background you discover they were rather well off.

[@movingdragons]

Ikr! Her fam is probably loaded. Stay at home moms are a privilege.

[@KRYMauL]

I think it's like 60% of people say they are middle class. There is an entire cohort that calls the lower upper class, "upper-middle class" as they are living in a suburb with a white picket fence.

[@dmoore8595]

That's because what was defined as middle class in 1984, had been redefined in 2024.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

I want to see Emma's parents' financials.

[@KRYMauL]

@@dmoore8595 It’s more like it was never given another definition and every news agency wants the latest cohort to own homes. Gen Z with the Wall Street malarkey might be the first generation with a significant percentage not owning their own home. Also, like I said the “America Dream,” is now reserved for the upper middle class.

[@AdelTheForsaken]

I don't give a crap what anybody thinks. I was dragged through poverty as a child. So why would I do that to my possible progeny? That was a trick question, I wouldn't!

[@Alwynizzy]

Same here!

[@Monatguest]

And yet it didn't kill you or make your life as bad as most ppl will assume. A loving family is more important than giving your kids the latest phone, brand name clothes, and trips to Disneyland

[@Ella-g2m]

No child deserves to grow up in poverty, but when we say that people who can't afford kids shouldn't have any because it is abusive, we get accused of eugenics.

[@user-xm3wd8tz6d]

@@MonatguestI don’t think you understand poverty. Imagine not having food or eating anything you can find including pet food. I wasn’t worried about video games or going to Disney or having newer clothes for school. You really don’t get it.

[@Monatguest]

@@user-xm3wd8tz6d my family of 5 were dirty poor when I was little. Watery veggie soup and bread was an everyday meal, no heating and no shoes until basically school age. Being poor in the west is basically middle class for some countries. US has food banks, salvation army, goodwill, soup kitchens and homeless shelters and different government assistance programs like foodstamps and so much more. Being poor in the US is a luxury compared to many other countries. The things westerners complain about is insane when even at poverty level you live better than majority of the world

[@NitoLast]

Yes its possible to raised kids with a salary of 50k a year but the quality of life for those children and the parent's are dramatically reduced.

[@dorino9057]

Every child deserves a decent quality of life 50 K for more than one child is practically poverty in most places in the US and not fair for the children.

[@believestthouthis7]

People can live on modest incomes and their children never go without. It's not correct to assume that they are all miserable living in "poverty". Here's the true poverty guidelines for 2024 in the USA.: A family of 8 (EIGHT!) living on $52,720! Pretty eye opening isn't it?

[@NitoLast]

@@believestthouthis7 you can't generalize the entire USA, income varies state to state . In New York and California you need 140k for a family of 4 . Plus I hate to say it but a life in poverty is not fun, and it's environment I would not like to raise my children in, most parents wouldn't want that.

[@believestthouthis7]

@@NitoLast Well that's how the US govt classifies "poverty". It's true that different areas have different costs of living. People would be wise to be willing to move and live modestly. There are plenty of families living off far less than that. Psalm 128 KJV 1 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. 2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. 3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. 4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord.

[@Kra-ri6fd]

​@dorino9057 My family makes less than $50, and we have two children under our roof. We have no debt and rent a farm for a very reasonable price. We are not suffering at all. I am a stay at home mom. Yes, I do see how this a privilege because at one time, I was a single mom of two children and could not stay at home. I go to the Goodwill a lot and find clothes and furniture that are in amazing condition. We have a large garden and I can up food quite frequently. We also heat primarily with a wood stove and collect the wood ourselves. It's a lot of work but we don't see it as suffering. It costs to much for me to work right now.

[@EmilyAllan]

I had my first and only child during the last economic crash of 2008. We were NOT making it financially. Foodstamps and WIC kept us alive. We had a one bedroom apartment, and my husband was laid off. We went into debt to buy food and pay rent, and it took 10 years to pay it all off. This is reality and has been reality for a long time.

[@Egh0127]

Yep my husband lost his job last year and they denied us for food stamps so we got some loans to buy food until he could get another job. Those loans are paid off now thankfully. We have four kids which is why we needed loans to buy food and pay rent.

[@EmilyAllan]

@@Egh0127 so sorry to hear that. Its a really tough time right now.

[@BeczaBot]

Wow that is terrible!

[@dianebassett1930]

I love that women are saying they are not willing to bear the burden of forfeiting their careers to have children. If our society won’t provide proper support for families our childbearing members (women) will just opt out of having kids at all.

[@ironsurvival7011]

The sad reality is that our dollars shouldn’t have been debased to the point where both parents have to work. Now kids are sent to government schools that are absolutely a joke and you’re still stating society should provide support? Maybe we should realize that the best place for a mother to be is in the home raising the family literally one of the hardest and most important tasks a person could do. My wife is a stay at home mom she’s a registered nurse and chose her kids over a career. A career she can return to but time spent taking accountability and taking charge of what our kids will learn how they’ll be patented and guided was way more important than working in industry only to be taxed on every dollar to do what? To say look at me I’m a strong working woman? Society has been duped to believe that women should be literally forced into the workplace due to economics but fooled them into thinking that is where “women’s empowerment” will be found.

[@cs8712]

"I'm not gonna forfeit my career to have children. How else will I be able to afford to buy the stanley cup in 50 different colors?"

[@Beginnerreadsthebible]

Uh... Being a mom is WAY better than any job or career I've ever had. Working is no fun

[@NE0Nwhip]

​@@ironsurvival7011Doesn't provide a solution to all the single mothers regardless.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

As it should be. Women are being logical.

[@HaileysHealth]

lol love how that girl Emma says “As long as you use what you learn in college to work hard”…girl, who said everyone can afford college?!?! 😂

[@HaileysHealth]

In fact, some people CAN’T handle college. College IS a privilege. *face palm*

[@usflin]

Only about 40% of people in the U.S. attend college. So, like, 60% of the population shouldn't have kids? lol

[@meganashlea]

I make more money with a high school diploma then my son’s dad with his college degree. I’ve already made sure my son knows there’s more than just 1 path (I wasn’t told this, college was pushed heavily and I’m so glad I only did part time community college while i figured out what I wanted to do)

[@MB-yl9hm]

Because the people complaining about not being able to afford kids by and large are those who did go to college.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

College is free in developed countries.

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

In Poland it was always a struggle to buy even 1 bedroom apartment, many people in big cities live in 430 square feet apartments with 2 or more children for crazy amounts of money. But nowadays, people don't want to live like that anymore. So we have the lowest birthrate in history.

[@ReareaGirl]

Yeah and in some countries it's against code to have more than x people in y square feet. I thought that the other day, the large families of the past would likely be fined for too many people in one apartment.

[@Refiningforge]

Wow so interesting

[@chloebesonderes7571]

When I stayed with my friend in Poland I was surprised to find out that it’s super common for families to live in one bedroom apartment and the parents sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge room and the children sleep in the bedroom

[@nehalilisays]

Really? A friend of mine once told me that owning one or two apartments in Poland "means nothing" because most people there own one. There's probably a big difference between different regions/cities.

[@xKalisto]

Czechia is similar. We were family of four in apartment shy of 800sq ft. I always thought it was huge. But for some people it's apparently tiny even for 1 child? When my sister was born my mom lived in a studio apartment. When she wanted to buy a sewing machine it cost her monthly salary. People couldn't even get a car because ~communism~. We have it great these days.

[@MonkDave666]

Beyond the fact the living crisis is completely insane, some people just DON'T WANT KIDS.

[@natasharalph866]

I am in rental and now im 34 im starting to give up on even having a social life let alone a baby

[@megansummers3775]

Same here girl... Sadly It feels like I'm forced to give up my core dreams just to scrape by

[@abstractbrainscans]

Same. 37 and my work and books have become my life

[@jmayo6880]

I’m with you on that

[@emm6724]

Sounds like you’re depressed ❤ don’t give up!

[@natasharalph866]

@emm6724 very yes. Have been for a long time. People keep taking my funds because I fall in love and thought that people had the best intentions but they never do yet. I'm very lonely having no friends from going to uni after I come back everyone was married and with kids. I listened the government and now I am on minimum wage even. Thanks for the upliting message ! Really appreciate it! Xxxx

[@tattoodhobomom]

My husband and I watched ourselves quickly get priced out of the market. When we first got married we had plans of saving for a year, then buying, starting a family, etc. It wasn’t until shortly after we got married in 2022, that the housing market EXPLODED and has since become out of reach. We eventually found a sweet little home to rent - it’s not perfect and it’s a bit of a commute for us, but we decided we didn’t want the lack of owning a home to stop us from starting our family. Everything in life fluctuates! We will own a home one day, the best we can do is take it one day at a time.

[@OneClassyCupcake]

When I was in college, I thought about buying a run down manufactured home on 4 acres of land. It was 90k at the time. Which was a little less than average 6 years ago, but it would have been cheaper than paying rent. My bf, now husband, said it wasn't a good idea because we'd be buying later in the future after we were out of school and starting our careers. So I chose not to get a mortgage on a run-down home and pay less in rent. Omg. I could have sold that house and land for 500k now. 😭😭😭 I still think about it. 4 acres. 4 acres! In the outskirts of a major city! Why didn't I just go through with it 😭

[@tattoodhobomom]

@@OneClassyCupcake I feel this way often when I see the home of almost 10 acres that my husband ALMOST bought before he met me. But it just means that there is something more suited for both you and your husband in the future, as well as me and mine! Best of luck in the future and finding your forever home (maybe it’ll have more than 4 acres and won’t be as rundown, fingers crossed!)

[@youareworthalot1228]

Renting a house is way better than renting an apartment. I think anyway. It was stressful horrible in an apartment. I still have shared walls. 4 families in one building but no one above or below me now.

[@vprez4925]

You're definitely not alone in this situation. There are many of us just like you.

[@emilyp3150]

It’s true, many of my friends are priced out and are moving to less expensive states. It shouldn’t be this way. Congrats on getting married! I’m happy for you and we don’t know what the future holds, I’m sure there is a great future for you. ❤

[@afrofaeries]

I’m a conservative black woman and I 100% agree with this whole video. I know couples who are on the brink of divorce with less than 40k income and saying, “It’s still worth it!” Nope! I grew up in poverty myself, so my children will be raised not worrying about when their next meal will be. And if that means I’ll get married in my 30s or later, so be it.

[@salmonella7993]

You won't get there. Most likely for the best.

[@HamTeddy26]

@@salmonella7993 she will. Good structure with the ability to compete, she’ll be fine. It is hard, however being resourceful and not sitting on youtube all day will get you far. With that username, looks like you are just waiting for someone to help you

[@UL1999]

Brett Cooper: Stop blaming others for your personal problems Also her: is rich and lives a great live while beeing happily married and earning money with reaction-videos

[@AyoAde777]

If the sole breadwinner gets seriously ill, loses income, dies or even divorces a non-working partner, they could be thrown into a world financial devastation. When the love is gone, humans can quickly become spiteful. What will become of the non-working woman and multiple kids? What quality of life will they have? Gross vs net income are two separate things and 60-100k won't go as far as it did in the past. If you think you can't afford them, it's better to be "selfish" by being child-free than to have children while you can barely feed, cloth and house yourself. In today's world, "the village" is as good as dead and for most people, a single income or even dual income may not maintain a family with children. The basic human needs are food, clothing, shelter and hopefully a decent education. Children will eventually resent you for bringing them into a world of poverty. Also, some people know that they are just not built to be parents, they shouldn't be guilted into having kids that they cannot nurture and protect in every way that counts.

[@cmcordoYT]

Yes, my former spouse and I did the traditional route and then when his behavior was getting unbearable, I left. He found a rough Lawyer and harassed me until I signed a document that stated he get over 90% of our assets that were combined. I had to start over, and we had three children. He practically fought me to death so he wouldn't have to pay child support. I never recommend a woman going traditional anymore.

[@crzycolchris]

@@cmcordoYT this is horrible :( I'm sorry... i dont ever want to get divorced. but i told my wife IF it ever happened. I'd just live in the basement until our children moved out... which is basically like some marriages now anyways lol

[@nevernadeshiko164]

Agree. Sure being hated by others is bad for beinh childfree.. But whats worst is being potentially hated by the hypothetical offspring.. Why did you bring me here? Such equal words by a depressed child verbalizing wanting to unalive will hurt any parent- especially if unluckily the factors that resulted for the offsprings mental health is directly related to the parents HAVE and DONT HAVE

[@mortalwombat2001]

bro, women can divorce any man and still get half of his income and even his house. They don't have it that bad.

[@minervarose7664]

@@mortalwombat2001 how often does this happen in practice though?

[@spooder1801]

Another thing worth mentioning is how the lack of maternal rights and maternal care in the US puts even more stress on moms to get back to work asap and pay strangers to look after their babies. In Germany for example the right to "protection of the family by the community" is literally part of the constitution and is the basis for things like 2 years of paid maternal leave.

[@JP-xq7fo]

There is zero paternal rights as well a lot of those EU countries give 6 months leave paid for dads.

[@kingnick6260]

What are the lack of maternal rights & maternal care, in 21st century USA?

[@grantbishop1961]

​@@kingnick6260America is a joke when it compares to other countries maternal leave. Americans are slaves to corporations and they refuse to admit it.

[@strawberryfox8819]

​@@kingnick6260 Making maternal leave in the most crucial time for a child (the first year) dependant on the boss of your job, for one. Secondly, the upsurd prices y'all pay to give birth in a hospital.

[@imissnickplur4964]

in germany it is illegal to homeschool your children and is strictly enforced, so i wouldnt use them as a shining example of the state caring about family 'rights'.

[@yarigarciaa]

BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM IS A PRIVILEGE. 😭 as a mom who would LOVE to stay home. GLADLY stay home. I’m facing the possibility of dropping my 7 week old daughter at a nursery in August. It makes my heart break knowing someone could blatantly say it’s up to my priorities in life and not an overwhelming need to care for my family of four. It’s not only a privilege at this point, it’s a luxury. One I pray & HOPE I can live in. The fact that this woman would say my parents did it…so can you! What in theeeee

[@cynthiapangburn2249]

Being able to work and have your own income is also privileged. I am a stay home mom and I agree that I am privileged to do so because my partner and I have a great relationship and he is Happy to work twice as hard to make the income that we need.But is it a privilege for him? Or what about the lack of time that we miss out on with him?There's disadvantages and Advantages to both.

[@ronjab4586]

Agree with the previous poster - working and having your own income is also a privilege. I used to work full time when we had our first child, returned to work at 5 weeks postpartum since it was a very competitive work, 60+ hours per week, no paid leave at all and we were relying on my income. The pandemic happened and our entire situation changed. With childcare costs being absolutely ridiculously high in our area now (major city - and it isn't just prices but also the question of finding a space, especially for an infant), it doesn't make sense for me financially to work - we sincerely would be off worse. I never imagined myself to be a stay at home mom - but it will be temporary and so we limit ourselves to make it work with the kids we have. Only spending on necessities, free options as outings and gifts for our kids, living in a 2 bedroom apartment across the street from where my husband is working so we can save on transportation costs and he can spend time with the kids too despite working 60 hours per week. It would be easier if our area had free PreK but it doesn't. No family around either, so I will only return to work when it makes sense again financially, which means once we only have one kid left who needs childcare. It's a lot of years though where I can't pay into retirement, the lost opportunities in the future due to the long gap in employment, probably having to start at a lower paying job again (we probably would have decided differently without the job loss and unsuccessful job search in my field). But with prices as they are right now, we cannot afford for me to work, which is absolutely ridiculous. I definitely agree that sadly in this country, it is a privilege to be home with your baby though - and it REALLY shouldn't be. I originally come from a country with generous maternity leave policies and the US is outrageously behind in this regard. No mother should have to consider childcare for their 7 week old baby unless it is her choice.

[@emajjamarie]

If you make less than 30K (after tax) per kid, you would be better off being a SAHM.

[@JoeK-vz6ke]

As a SAHM day care is a luxury to me. I don’t understand how people afford daycare.

[@adararelgnel2695]

It's a privilege but not for the rich. It's a privilege to those whose circumstances happen to make it possible. Or if you're forced into it. I have now baby twins and a 2 year old which all need private daycare. I don't make enough money to send 3 babies to daycare!! So obviously, the CHEAPER OPTION is to stay home with them... see how that works? I could say it's a privilege that you can afford to put your kids in a daycare and go to work. No but seriously. Imagining having to put my 7 week old baby in the care of someone else makes me want to cry...😢

[@easypeasymacncheesy7561]

as someone who grew up too poor to have hobbies or do sports because of my parent's financial immaturity, my parents were consistently extremely stressed causing them to put that stress on us kids and were barely ever home to really teach us and when they were they just wanted time to themselves because they were exhausted from working themselves to death. we were not a happy family at all. love my parents for everything they did for me, but now we're basically no contact because of the trauma and strain that burden put on our relationships. but yknow the american dream right?🤡

[@ms.pirate]

This

[@SanaKabir-t6x]

Same.

[@egl3369]

Same experience in my childhood too

[@pamelalima5401]

Sorry to hear that🥺 if you are not a parent you will never know how your parents feel

[@pdspear1]

That was my experience too. If we can't afford at least 1 stay at home parent, what's the point of straining EVERYTHING (the mothers entire physical and mental state, the parent's relationship, the wallet) to have a child if there's no time to be a family?

[@wagonwheelgirl8897]

No one should need an “excuse” to not have kids. If they don’t want them they shouldn’t have them, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[@MB-yl9hm]

Lol, yeah, that's the biggest part of this conversation I think people are missing. If people are saying "I can't have kids because [blank]" and [blank] isn't literally "I am infertile," then it's not that you can't have kids, it's that you don't want to have kids. And there's nothing wrong with that.

[@artemisia4718]

There’s a difference between childfree and childless though. The first case are people that do not want to have children. The second case are people who want to have children, but can’t for some reason. The first group will say that even in ideal circumstances they would not procreate, the second group will list the preconditions of their ideal scenario and state that they would procreate in these circumstances. > That said, I agree with your overall statement. Childfree people are still heavily stigmatized in most societies, though. So some childless people may be childfree in disguise, who knows.

[@Vrjm81]

Yes but that’s not what she talking about. She’s referring to people who want kids but can’t afford to, which is different than people who don’t want children.

[@JazDickinson1]

EXACTLY I simply don't want to do that

[@FreedomTalkMedia]

Well, human civilization is dying. There is that.

[@AntoniyaYankova]

In Bulgaria most of us have as many children as we can support. For example we want 3 kids. We will only have 3 if we can afford to send each child to uni without making them go into debt and if we can provide home for each child. If we can't we will settle with two. It's crazy to have 5 children and make them get student loan and then let them rent a place. The very least we would be helping them save for a new home and let them live with us. For me if you want a child, you should be able to do everything needed to help them start their life as stable as possible. Children are life long responsibility. You can't just throw them away when they are 18 and live your life carefree.

[@seabreeze4559]

American Boomers disagree.

[@eatnplaytoday]

My parents didn’t pay for my schooling. I’m jealous. I took out loans and payed it all back by myself. It did teach me importance of savings though

[@MB-yl9hm]

To be fair, not everyone needs to go to university. University should be reserved for jobs that require intellectual credentials like engineers, doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. Not everyone wants to or even needs to be a doctor or a lawyer. Maybe we should learn to love and support our children who would just as happily apprentice under and electrician or be a manager of a local restaurant.

[@audrey6928]

@@seabreeze4559as a millennial with boomer parents- very true. They’ve helped me financially before yes and God bless them for that, but if I ever want to move home to get on my feet and save up I’d either be charging A) rent at least 800$-1000$ a month or B) even with rent probably won’t be able to live there due to them wanting their privacy. Both are not together and have s/o.

[@sylviastoyanova7008]

Tell them brother

[@adararelgnel2695]

Honestly, having a large family was SUCH a priority for me that I left the country. Raising my kids with a different language, different culture and free healthcare.

[@sarilann]

There is no such thing as "free healthcare" in any country. Or "free school systems".. They are all taxes.

[@casebeth]

I think the whole point is you shouldn't have to do that

[@ZoraDelaney]

There's no such thing as free healthcare. The taxpayers of your adopted country are footing those health care costs, and services are rationed in some way (likely via wait times for procedures).

[@mj269]

Zora, Americas are also paying taxes for healthcare they don't receive, PLUS insurance. My grandmother is about to go blind on a wait-list for optic surgery. The USA sucks, why can't you just admit it?

[@razorbladelemonade]

@@mj269everywhere sucks just in different ways and to different degrees

[@vidarrimini5109]

6:20 That girl just drives me mad, talking about privilege like this IS BEING PRIVILEGED and she will never comprehend it, grrr.

[@leog7595]

So fr. How are you going to be having the time to record on your iPhone about how nobody wants to have kids anymore and live in California and say how your parents didn't struggle and you need to budget better? Like I didn't hear anything about her and her kids she's got - just that she didn't BELIEVE we should be struggling.

[@bananarama480]

Came here to say that. She misses like every point.

[@chromadental3586]

We need more Luigi Mangiones

[@HawkRauster-pg5yc]

What a great video. The "elderly with no retirement" part reminds me of when my old mother in law would drop subtle hints about us "taking care of them when they're older." They had zero intention of helping us in the impossible housing market (while sitting on a multimillion dollar house), kept asking us where their grandchildren were, and were currently in the process of shoving their elderly mother with dementia who was recently widowed into a care home, because they couldn't be f*ed. I was two seconds from actually printing her some nursing home pamphlets some days.

[@colenaylor6369]

I had said I don't believe in respecting people blindly just because their age, sex, creed, etc. My mother scoffed and said she now knew she'd not have me take care of her.

[@Mt4evr]

My father in law has outright said his kids are his retirement plan. He had 14 because he didn't believe in birth control. He was/is a terrible father, but for some reason feels like he was Gods gift to them 🙄 Anyway, he has outright said that his retirement plan is for each his kids to give him 10% of their income. My Mil on the other hand, is an angel and everyone loves her, but she won't leave him. So the kids will be forced to take care of him, if they want to take care of her. It's infuriating

[@chillsunshiine]

@@Mt4evr the audacity is insane

[@jackforst6457]

​@@Mt4evrjust get her out of that house damn you people really let anyone strong arm y'all

[@Mt4evr]

@@jackforst6457 lol what? She doesn't want out. Am I supposed to kidnap my mother in law? Lol

[@shannonsampson3267]

I am 40 with 8 kids. I got married in 2004 at age 20 and started having babies right away. I stayed home for 18 years. Since 2021, it has become increasingly difficult to afford a large family despite relocating to a low COL area. We have purchased 3 homes. 2008, 2016, and 2021. We bring home $130,000/yr and we would not be able to afford to buy any of those homes at their current prices and rates. I can totally understand why young people today dont feel like they can afford children. My kids are age 3 to 19 so I'm helping young adults navigate this economy.

[@isabellacostantino2497]

Can i ask a question….dont you think its a bit much bringing 8 children into this world… Do you really need to show off like that… its all for yourself wasn’t it! The attention seeker “look at me im a woman i can get pregnant”ridiculous! Your the church goddess arnt ya

[@BlendedBarbieDoll]

$130k for a family of 10 sounds really challenging. I with you the best.

[@shannonsampson3267]

@BlendedBarbieDoll It just bumped up to $160,000 this week with a raise. We are always working to increase income. That's take-home income, BTW.

[@isabellacostantino2497]

Hard to hear the truth huh … pathetic people

[@MutedMinimalist]

How did you buy 3 homes? It sounds like you were sitting on generational money?

[@lorianabanana6066]

I think people also forget that not everyone can expect a healthy child. My brother is severely autistic/profoundly handicapped. He will need 24/7 care for the rest of his life. I have severe ADHD and neurodivergence runs in my family. So does bone deformities, certain cancers, dementia, heart deformities, anxiety, depression, bipolar etc. The few things we don't have (diabetes, high BP etc) DO run in my partners family. The chances of me having a typical healthy kid are ZERO. I know so many families that have 2, 3 even 4 handicapped kids/kids with severe physical/mental health issues. This girl had ELEVEN kids- which is alot BUT... they're all healthy. I don't think she has any idea what goes into caring for a sick/disabled kid. Even with my brothers social security/disablity money it's HARD. My parents were middle class, educated had decent jobs & insurance. It was still crazy hard. So when I was planning my future I couldn't just assume I'd have healthy kids. Even a 'normal' hospital birth costs 20- 40k. If there are complications then it can get up over 100k really fast, I work in a city hospital and even with insurance it's insanely expensive. Then add on the human labor. My mom had to quit her job for years. Even with my dad, mom, myself AND our caregiver tag teaming my brother it's HARD. He needs help with literally everything from dressing, tolieting to eating amd he can't be left alone. I want her to come to my house, be given a budget where she has to feed, clothe. and get my brother all his meds & therapies. Then tell me how 'easy' it is. Oh THEN somehow budget for a baby ontop of that lol. 😂😂😂😂

[@daniellemasterson7590]

I thought the same thing as far as not being able to have a normal healthy child. My chances weren't great, I have a disabled brother, 2 disabled uncles and an aunt. It was somewhere between 1 out of 3 and 50/50 chance of having a disabled child. I listened to my body. Now unfortunately people don't have that kind of choice now, but I have a happy healthy daughter that has no problems. Sometimes you know everything is going to be fine during pregnancy with your baby and sometimes you can sense that it's not. Listen to your gut. I think adoption should be cheaper so we don't have to roll the dice and hope for the best too.

[@EcstaticTeaTime]

I was born with a congenital heart condition that was corrected via surgery when I was 11 months. I would have to be monitored if I ever developed blood pressure issues. My dad was military and I was born in the right place, at the right time. The hospital I had the surgery at housed the leading pediatric cardiologists at the time and they were only about an hour away on the highway. A little girl a few years older than me was in the waiting room waiting to undergo the same surgery and her parents had come all the way from France. Back then, Tricare covered most of the costs associated so it wasn't looming over my entire childhood. I have never needed another surgery since so I am as healthy as a normal person. My condition is now being debated as either genetic or environmental, as my dad's side does have heart problems and my mom worked in a hospital and three other women in her unit gave birth to babies with similar conditions; the research has become more mixed since my birth. I have a chance at having a healthy baby when I actually have a job that pays enough to survive. But when discussing it with new friends that one of the first things I will be looking for in a partner is that they do not have or their family does not have a history of heart conditions (unless via something else like smoking or cancer related,) they find it weird. I cannot afford to have a child like me and two wrongs don't make a right. My partner needs to be clear there so the likelihood doesn't increase.

[@stolenart9290]

Funny enough that those people who insist that everyone should have children are also the people who resent handicap or mentally challenged kids.

[@grantbishop1961]

​@@daniellemasterson7590it just doesn't make sense to bring kids into this hell prison planet only to be used and abused by the government and narcissistic others, especially when America enacted the draft for men and women. What's the point of raising a kid only to have it die in World War III thanks to a corrupt zionist defunct corporate government under communism. Its unthinkable to bring another soul into that type of misery and suffering and world wide death. Earth is untenable place to bring souls to and they don't deserve that type of torture, struggle and slavery under the Orion empire prison planet earth. IMO.

[@YourMajesty143]

I'm born with progressive myopia (meaning I'm slowly going blind). I also have AuDHD - the really debilitating kind, such as Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, which means severe chronic fatigue and the worst executive function. My father had a congenital brain aneurysm at age 33, which gets passed down genetically. One of us 5 kids will develop an aneurysm & stroke out like he did, and so all 5 of us siblings do not have children. It's just not fair to leave children with a single parent, like how we grew up. We also know that we suffered alot in our childhood, so unless we can afford to give children a stable home with access to affordable healthcare, then it just doesn't make sense to put children through that - not to mention that climate change is a problem that we refuse to leave in their laps. Nobody should have to grow up in a world that is burning all around them, drought, natural disasters, and more wars. I just don't see a happy future. As a collective, our own generations are dealing with mass depression. This isn't an individual issue, it's systemic. And with our political system going in a downward trajectory, the world isn't safe anymore. To consciously bring a child into a world like this is selfish. Knowing the burdens that will be waiting for them, and without there being any protections I can provide to safeguard them from all of it, is enough for me not to have kids - even IF there was a way to guarantee their health. I still wouldn't have them.

[@Onionyummy]

You betta preach! It's very very valid. The USA does not have universal childcare, parental leave over 6 weeks, no universal healthcare, no guaranteed lunch programs that are not in danger of being cancelled, wages need to be at least $20 per hour to survive raising a family. The average cost for childcare per child in the average US household is $1500 a month per child about $300 - 400 a week. Both parents these days usually work to make ends meet. There are no social safety nets for people raising kids these days. Working a full time job should be enough but no. Housing was more affordable, wages were not facing inflation, and house prices nearly doubled since back in the day.

[@shellylofgren]

For boomers and senior citizens, the current market and economy are unnecessarily harder. I'm used to simply purchasing and holding assets, which doesn't seem applicable to the current volatile market, and inflation is catching up with my portfolio. My biggest concern is whether I'll survive after retirement.

[@donna_martins]

Just buy and invest in Gold or other reliable stock , the government has failed us and we cant keep living like this.

[@Robert_Seaman]

Yes, gold is a great investment and a good bet against the devaluating dollar, been holding some for awhile now, I’m grateful my adviser’s moment by moment changes in the market are lightening quick, cos who know how much losses I would’ve had by now.

[@Trevor_Morrow_LTD]

Mind if I ask you to recommend this particular advisor you using their service?

[@Robert_Seaman]

Credits goes to " Vivian Jean Wilhelm " one of the finest portfolio managers in the field. She's widely recognized; you should take a look at her work.

[@Trevor_Morrow_LTD]

Appreciate this recommendation, hopefully I can get some insight to where the economy is headed and strategies to beat inflation with when I hear back from Vivian .

[@kennydianabrown7359]

I'm really glad you mentioned IVF laws at the end. The American solution for declining birth rates is to force poor people to have children. The fact that there are 20 year old billionaires in the world while hard working people working 2 jobs cannot make ends meet proves that our society does not value hard work or the working class even though we pump money into the economy and the corporations. People in western countries who call others selfish for not having children are extremely privileged and out of touch. My husband and I had one little girl and we will NOT have more children no matter how much pressure we are under to do so. Our quality of life would significantly decrease and therefore everything else if we have more children. It is absolutely OKAY for grown people paying their own bills to make such decisions for themselves and their futures. I'm not a fan of mom vloggers but your videos lately have been very relatable. Thank you

[@kristismyk1930]

Haha yes, the first girl you shared talking about her PARENTS experience pretty much furthers the case that it was more doable for the generation before us 😅 I don’t think she even has kids?

[@AshleyEmbers]

Exactly!

[@syahidatulzulkifli5252]

exactly. my dad make less than me when he purchase his first house. he have 7 children and my mom is a stay at home mom. while me, combine with my husband's income. we still cant afford to buy a house. we are in our 30s. and oh my god being stay at home mom is a priveledge. you think i want to leave my child and go to work everyday and miss half of their childhood? what is she talking about? oh we are from Malaysia. housing market are bad bad.

[@User-pw3pu]

My best friends Dad bought a nice house in SoCal as a preacher. That same friend works for the church (It's a large church) and owning isn't even on his radar. Even with a good job, a wife and no kids.

[@theoriginalr7310]

I wonder what year her parents bought their first home. I wonder how much that home cost. Then, we could look up the median household income for that year and do the math. She used a lot of words, did some smiling and a little giggling. No numbers . people like her irritate the hell out of me. My husband and I bought out first home in 1996. It cost 180,000. We made 65k combined at the time. Can you imagine finding a nice house today that is less than 3 times your annual salary?

[@amyomeara2515]

Emmas dad has been a corporate real estate exec since the 1980s and hired Emma and each of her siblings to launch their careers. Awesome for them but let’s not pretend she knows anything about being middle class (or a parent, she’s 20 something living with her parents)

[@ashleymarie6585]

“No body who works a full time job should be facing homelessness.” Hits hard. Even a dual income family - my husband and I have had that looming “are we gonna make it on rent this month” more than once. To house ourselves and our 3 kids we are having to pay almost $3000 a month for rent PLUS utilities. living on top of that is brutal some times!

[@brycehall4995]

Same. Dual income I’m in construction and my wife is an RN at the hospital. We can barely afford our mortgage……1st child on the way.

[@cailinance7831]

I loved your point about not moving of it would take you away from family/friends ect. So many people will tell you to just move somewhere cheaper and it's way more complicated than that!

[@OmniaSubSol]

We moved somewhere cheaper...lol going back as soon as we can. No sitters, almost no family, no friends and ppl are nuts these days I'm not leaving my kid w a stranger even if they do pass a state bg check. I've seen too many teachers, camp counselors etc pass a bg check only to discover yrs later that they were assaulting kids all along and even had a history of it in other states. My mil babysits on average 1 day/month and we live 1 hr from her and 1 hr from the only grocery store that carries food baby will eat and his non-dairy formula. Add in dishes, laundry and taking out the trash and that's the whole day- no dates, no time to ourselves, just baby all the time for me and hubby usually works 6-7 days a week 12-14hrs+/day. We are EXHAUSTED & constantly at each other's throats and there isn't even time to sleep. It's awful! I can't wait to go back home. My mom can be borderline toxic at times but at least she understands my special needs and that I need a level of support that I'm just not getting here and she understands what it takes to keep a partnership on track even when nearly all of your time goes to wrangling kids with moderate to high support needs. I live in this big beautiful house but I just wanna go home.

[@susalkasarahi]

My husband was in the Navy and it moved us away from family. We ended up buying in 2019 and could only afford to buy a house with a VA loan. Cost of living is not that bad in Norfolk but all our family live in south Florida so it’s been a struggle since he got out to find work down there that would be able to support cost of living. It would be worth the move just to have the village

[@becca53444]

I moved away from my hometown and have absolutely hated it ever since. I just want my weekend hang outs with my friends back, and to be able to go to my favorite places and drive on the streets I know.

[@adararelgnel2695]

Not only did I move. I moved BEFORE I had kids overseas to get married and start a family elsewhere

[@rmcnally3645]

ESPECIALLY 👏🏻 WITH 👏🏻 KIDS👏🏻!!!!

[@syrentertainment135]

Having children on this notion we will just figure it out as we go is why we have the issues we have today! The answer is don’t have freakin kids until you are financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ready for them!!

[@oneperson5760]

So, nobody should have kids and humanity should just go extinct, according to you.

[@michaeldpa1333]

The Simple Truth!

[@cheesofile666]

Nonsense. There is no rehearsal for having a family, no prerequisite course in parenting. You learn as you go, as has been the case for all of history.

[@dangeki5902]

​@@cheesofile666Thats why theres been atrocities for all of history

[@cheesofile666]

@@dangeki5902 brainlet take.

[@ReareaGirl]

I think another important point to bring up is that many rentals have occupancy rates. The most common is 2 people per bedroom which also restricts families to what their apartment can hold or have a limit on when they have to move since under 1 does not count.

[@shannonsampson3267]

That is true. Even military base housing kicked us out when our 8th baby was born in 2020.

[@dangeki5902]

​@@shannonsampson3267 8?

[@webnerd-ny6wd]

No disrespect and I mean this from the bottom of my heart but that creator at 2:12 was saying a whole lot of nothing. Like ma’am if you are going to come online and brag about your parents having 11 kids and still able to survive on a single middle class income even in an expensive region and state then be more forthcoming and straightforward as to how they did it. Don’t just make vague statements like “prioritize and say stuff like if my parents can do it, so can you”. That’s crazy!! come correct and bring forth all the receipts or stay quiet!

[@bettinak.4]

Money is not the problem. Anyone could have multiple children. The problem is lack of social support. My parents, grandparents were poor, but they had all the aunts, grandmas and neighbours to help with raising children everyday. Imagine if someone would cook for your family, clean or take the children whenever you need to work or do something outside the house.

[@kubetail12]

That is a really good point. A lot of people do not realize that nuclear families relatively new phenomenon that rose to prominence after WWII. Extended families have historically been the norm and are still common in less affluent countries

[@autobotdiva9268]

and Gen X...me.....were not watching your kids because we were adults by age 9!

[@dorino9057]

It is both money and lack of social support.

[@believestthouthis7]

You're talking about getting free childcare from family members and letting other people do the work of the wife and mother (cooking, cleaning, childcare) so that she can also make an income? Daycare, public school and full-time working mothers weren't always the norm. All of it is abdicating responsibility. It's all pretty sad.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@autobotdiva9268 grandparents should be forced to babysit if they coerced the kids into having them

[@michaelm4597]

Clueless Emma said “my mom has always been a stay at home mom. That’s not privilege” 😂😂. Emma needs a reality check. My guess is mommy and daddy helped her out more than we know 😂

[@Angaloth19]

Mommy and daddy also bought a house in the 80’s for $40k 😂 Yes, the interest rate was high for a few years, but then they refinanced to a much lower one.

[@BubblyViolin11]

This is why her take is bullshit. If it were HER saying that SHE had 10 kids in Southern CA right now, then maybe she’d have a leg to stand on. I would hazard I’m not much older than her and even I recognize that the economic reality of people my age is VERY different from that of our parents.

[@Mt4evr]

Do we know if she is still living at home?

[@GothicGali]

But being a SAHM sucks. Is that what she meant by it’s not a privilege?

[@kelbibi6618]

I absolutely clocked out as soon as she said that. In what world is being a stay at home mother NOT a privilege?

[@annabear6313]

I think she’s 100% right. It’s about priorities. And I prioritize myself and my well being which is why I happily don’t have kids. 🥰

[@sayitaintso417]

As someone with kids, I agree. As bad as things have gotten, I think it is forcing people to really prioritize what they want vs. being told what we should want

[@wmarch88]

I'm childfree, I can't afford to have a dog, I know that a child is way more expensive, my nephew is on preschool and my sister has to spend a lot of money per week only because school told them that they have special days when child do other things, events, things like that, is a public school in my country where you don't have to pay to the school any money, but is still a lot of money spend every week, I lost my job a few weeks ago and I'm going to get a job in another city try to save money for buying a house in the future, with a child that is completely impossible, and I don't have furniture only a matres and a chair and a table, and a kitchen cabinet, I couldn't affor a tv or a new bed (that I need because my matres is too old), I hope a new job come and pay me what I deserve and can buy things I really need but a child, I don't understand people who have children and don't have money.

[@44DimensionSeven]

I can barely afford my dog but she's well fed and taken care of. She has special needs and she is very expensive I also think of my friends who have children with disabilities and ended up in relationships with dysfunctional people and now they are single parents and it all just sounds very terrible

[@sadie8834]

Also I prioritize my future kids' wellbeing. I literally forget to water my mom's plants when she goes on vacation.

[@wanyudomonk9758]

After screaming about this for years now, YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY And there's probably nothing we can do about it except forming a parallel society and economy. I'm almost certain that would go over poorly if it were to happen. Also there is another option, it's called forming a community. No short cuts there, When the government and institutions are corrupt, your biggest defense is your community and support system. But that means stop being selfish, go to your neighbor, see if they need help, see how you could help, and then actually help and collaborate With those who are decent people. When you can depend on your community, the only real thing one can threaten you with is violence

[@jordane8526]

People are not quite yet ready to understand that this is all by design. They think it just happened by bad luck or something. They don’t get that there are power structures running people into the ground to deprive us and control us. It’s too dark for them to conceptualize they were told the world powers were fair and benevolent. It will take more undue hardship for them to realize it’s rigged for our enslavement.

[@AbigailArwen]

Love how that girl just confidently spoke about her parent's situation, like a) she had a good grasp on the inner workings of their financials when she was young, b) with 11 children there wasn't parentification going on and c) IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME. It'S JuSt PRioRiTiES 😂

[@User-pw3pu]

She also assumed she'd be fine in SoCal. I left when rent was 2k a month for a 2 bedroom apartment. My FIL once bought a condo in Redondo for 10k. Current condos are 400k+. SoCal become unbuyable for the average person during the last generation. Making a whole shit ton of kids who can never live where they grew up.

[@MrsJC808]

I also love how she was like "you can just downsize your home." How are you going to add people to your household but get a smaller house??? Out of touch.

[@sweetsarah27]

​@@MrsJC808kids can share bedrooms?

[@irenestrongrock4106]

That’s what I’m saying! I literally cackled when I watched that part 😂

[@bookllama8158]

@@MrsJC808Can’t downsize if you can barely afford the small place you already live in 😑

[@DarkberryAlchemy]

43 years old, and I have never wanted children, it’s been the best decision of my life. I remember deciding this very early in life. As an immigrant here in the USA at 5, and seeing that reality, struggling was the norm. I also spent a good portion of my young adulthood dealing with an autoimmune disease and going into debt because of it. So yeah, there was no way I would bring a life into the world while just trying to survive. Why force my child to suffer at the same time as I am. My partner is 45, he is also childless by choice, and we would not want our lives to be any other way. I will never regret NOT having children.

[@taniamartinez4492]

Congrats it’s so expensive to raise a child in this economy you made a very conscious decision.

[@elena_1776]

This is painfully relevant to me. My husband and I wanted so badly to buy a house before having a kid, but we finally gave up and decided to start trying while still renting because we're already in our 30s and literally can't buy a house even with a double income. We don't even live in that expensive of an area and both have decent jobs but the market is that bad.

[@forlife84]

A lot of people have to rent before having kids. My parents didn't own their first home until I was 11 and they are millionaires now.

[@Idellphany]

Hold out, the housing market is going down.

[@linibellini]

Where I live, most people rent for all their lives. You don’t need to own property to start a family. You don’t even need a lot of space. In my parents generation it was common to share a room with your siblings and they lived in a flat with 2 rooms and a kitchen, no bathroom with 8 people. I get that that’s an extreme by modern standards but the people I know who claim they can’t afford children have enough money to party, eat out, travel, etc. and somehow it’s still more common here for low income families to have children compared to medium or high income couples.

[@dannievig]

We're in the same boat - thirties, renting, and wanting a child. We're trying in a rental and have no plans to buy a home at the moment due to the cost. We live in the UK, and it's difficult to pay for groceries, let alone a deposit on a home.

[@amyann47]

I’ve lived in rentals my entire life and have had a good life. Your baby will still be happy :)

[@BlackCatAlley23]

I was a child raised in poverty. No child should have to go through that. If you never experienced true poverty, you have nothing to stand on

[@kariannszemethy3050]

This is such an important topic and one I’ve been thinking about a lot. My first child is going to be turning 1 in a couple weeks, and I’ve kept a pretty accurate account of how much we’ve spent on things specifically for her in this first year. It’s tallied around $1250, which is honestly not very much from what you can read online as estimates, HOWEVER, this is because of choices I’ve made. Cloth diapering (second-hand ones), full time breastfeeding, staying home, buying clothes and other items secondhand, using my mothers stroller that she saved from when I was an infant, buying a grow with me car seat, not buying specially made baby foods, etc.. Under $1500 is reasonable for the direct cost of a child. But like this video points out, affording kids is a much larger discussion, and housing is definitely the linchpin facing our generation. It’s such a deep issue, and one that was built up over years of seeing housing as “investments” and a way to make money, instead of what it should actually be - the means to keep your people safe and protected. And when families feel safe and protected, they are usually more willing to welcome children into that environment! It’s all just such a sham because no one benefits from the housing market game except for banks, who might profit close to 93% of a houses sale price over a 25 yr mortgage at the current interest rate. Hardly anyone “owns” their own, but we all agree to this farce of banks owning homes and us being slaves to them. I wish I knew what the solution was because it’s honestly too infuriating to dwell on too long. It may take the total collapse of the housing market. Or it may take a generation of people to stop listing houses so high… the prices go up because people ask for a higher price, and people get mortgages that high, and it just is a positive feedback loop. If we stop looking to profit off housing and put it back into peoples hands instead of banks, we may just have a chance. (I would think they’re would’ve been restrictions on housing increases to be parallel to wage inflation - I.e. the $14K house from 1968 could only follow the trajectory of interest and inflation which would no way qualify it to be $1.2M today (in Vancouver for example, which my Dad grew up in).)

[@julesjmj5682]

Cloth diapers ftw! My husband thought I was crazy when I said we’re gonna be on the cloth diaper train. I said you’ll thank me when we have to pay $120 one time for a whole bunch of cloth diapers that ADJUST to babies size all the way up to 2 once vs having to pay almost $120/month on disposable diapers that take a toll on our environment. Not a green argument, just a common sense argument to save a ton of money.

[@trawrtster6097]

Idk if housing can be “solved” since it’s not just banks who benefit from inflating house prices. Homeowner do (or at least perceive to) benefit from treating housing as an investment. No homeowner wants their house to depreciate over time, which would happen (much like to a car) if it were not an investment. So much of “normal happy life” that people imagine, being able to upsize and downsize according to life stages, passing inheritance onto kids in the form of a house/realestate, is very much hinged on this assumption of housing being an appreciating asset.

[@comfortablespaces]

We’ve had two kids since the economy tanked and exactly like you said, we made choices that benefited our family (cloth diapering, breastfeeding, homemade baby food) and pretty much each child has added almost nothing to our general expenses. I believe the greatest thing effecting Millennials and Gen Z is not that they don’t have enough money, but that they were never taught how to budget, invest, save, skimp, anything financially. It’s something severely lacking in the school system.

[@kaleyjanenigh]

The problem is capitalism. Down with capitalism! 😊

[@kariannszemethy3050]

@@trawrtster6097 Yes, you’re correct, housing being an appreciating asset is good, but I think only when it appreciate in a reasonable way. When I say “investments” I mean that while yes housing should be an appreciating asset, it’s first function is to give families a place to live, and it’s second function is to appreciate so that it can stay in the market in the future. But it seems we’ve have an attitude of the reverse, because most people ask “How much can I make of this if I sell it in the future?”, at the detriment of having average families afford them. I spoke with my Dad who grew up in Vancouver. He told me his parents bought a house for $14K in 1965. They passed the house onto the children around 2000 where they got $280K or something for it, but it was bought by a developer who tore down the house to build three much smaller homes where each would ask for over $1M today. People who actually grew up there have been priced out of living there, and so many older properties are just seen as something to demolish and make money off of instead of preserve the physical heritage of communities. I am young and naive on the subject, but I have been thinking about it lots. Thanks for giving me something to consider!

[@luciannebeans6679]

Yes, dwelling on the negative will only make you miserable. Yes, you can find ways to save. I’ve cut out restaurants, cafes, malls, salons, deleted DoorDash and cancelled my Prime membership. But you can only cut so many corners when inflation and corporate greed are this bad. The stats say it all. We are all objectively poorer than we were decades ago.

[@woefulmelancholy]

The rich keep getting richer while the poor are more poor

[@t.8936]

Deleted door dash 😂😂😂😂 well I sure fucking hope so. Imagine being so lazy you won't even cook a meal let alone get off your ass to go pick one up. I just can't with door dash. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 My husband and I ordered off of door dash once. He was working on the car (out of commision), was hungry snd we had no food in the house. When we got the bill we just about fell over. We were disturbed for the rest of the day. I could have made those same burgers and better from scratch, and fed us for 3 weeks off of what that cost. I can't believe how many people use that service in this economy. And they make it sound like it's a sacrifice that they can't afford it!! Smh.

[@candacesanchez3012]

Agreed, yes people can go without these things, but some small things like these add to your social life. A Uber eats order I can send to my friend at work, will make his day. Getting pampered once a year with a pedicure, or even medically getting a massage for physical pain relief. Or even buying a tea at Starbucks, really feel special and add to quality of life. Going constantly in survival mode really drains a person. I really hope things change.

[@fireemberess]

​@candacesanchez3012 Then you set a budget every month of money to save and money to spend and you limit these splurges to that budget. Doing those things everyday is not livable. I haven't even dug into this video and I'm not surprised I'm seeing a comment like this. Yes, the economy is bad right now, and for the people who have no room to budge on their budgets, these are the people who really can't afford to have kids. But if you got room for Starbucks every morning in your budget, you got room to adjust your budget and save. I love pumpkin spice and learned how to make psl and pumpkin spice cold brews *at home*. yes, the money saved won't make a down payment for a house, but it will for a car, easily, or can help pay off a credit card or go towards car payments, go towards vet bills, save for a vacation, put in emergency savings. I get all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, I do, but that's still no reason for Starbucks every day. Make eating out a special occasion. I love sushi but that gets expensive quick, so I reserve sushi as a *once a month at most* treat. I have a tight budget while on disability, and I like going to cons and having fun, but I plan my budget months ahead and shop around to get the cheapest deals and what not. The fact is, priorities are at play here. Do you want Starbucks everyday or do you want more room in your budget? I know a girl complaining about the cost of living, but she moved into Chicago when it was cheaper to live with her parents, or even rent on her own in the suburbs because she likes the city life. that was a choice she made. she prioritized city highlife over saving money. That's a choice.

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

You can find joy in little extra purchases at the weekly grocery trip too. I have no idea why anyone would buy someone else Uber eats in a struggling economy…

[@igeorgoudi]

Boomers didn't have to fight permanent inflation, an impending world war , 2008 financial crisis as student and new employees, overspecialisation, a pandemic as mid career employees , inflation again and renting crisis. No matter what they say, they were benefited by the year they were born and the period when they became adults and retired. We have been traumatised by continuously striving and not thriving

[@t.8936]

💯 and us millennials STILL succeeded. We are Rockstars honestly.

[@igeorgoudi]

@@t.8936 i think we are the generational roaches, even if we don't earn so much as many people did before, we pull through and still do our best. I just hate when older people say we had it easy. Nope

[@t.8936]

​@@igeorgoudi I've never heard an older person say we had it easy.

[@igeorgoudi]

@@t.8936 i have heard it in my country. I am happy you didn't hear it

[@rustyhowe3907]

@@t.8936 I hear the boomers switch it up depending on who they're talking about; "You kids have no idea what it is to struggle, life is so convenient" "Gosh darn it life is so hard nowadays! It never used to be this hard for me to get by".

[@lampjerulez]

I have been a teacher for over 5 years, and to be fair. I think its good that there is more open debat of NOT having children or NOT wanting children. I have seen parents that have children but honestly regret it so much (not my own judgement, i literally had parents tell me this). Having children is not something you just do because society made you feel like you should. Its something you do because you want to, and if you really want to money wont be a problem because you will be willing to make sacrifices. People that say they dont have the money might just be scared just to admit they dont want children because in some circumstances/families/countries it is still a taboo to say that out loud.

[@RiverCole-qc4xt]

Naw because I wanted kids bad and had them and now I struggle to provide and raise them purely and solely because of how my financial situation has become. The kids themselves have Nothing to do with it.

[@Cryinginthecloudssss]

I’m 26 living at home with my parents and older brother. One of my parents is disabled the other goes out and work what they can but they can still only make so much cause if you make anymore then what your disabled married partner gets they take the disabled persons money away. We also have my niece and nephew living with us now cause my sister could no longer afford the home she was living in and was forced to leave before she had another home ready for her kids. Two of my friends who where living on their own were forced to move back into their parents homes due to financial difficulties as well. Everything feels like it’s constantly getting worse

[@oneperson5760]

I agree. It will probably get worse before it gets better. More people, more income in a house, the better. Help each other.

[@autismenlightenment]

I have a kid that was unplanned. I rent one room in someone elses house and its absolutely miserable. I live my kid and i wish i could do better for her.

[@Gottaknow]

Move. There are jobs everywhere

[@autismenlightenment]

@@Gottaknow hahaha its rental affordability.

[@happyd1479]

Things will get better in time i had my son at 17 just keep striving and don't give up

[@autismenlightenment]

@@happyd1479 thank you🤗

[@Nikki-ks6wi]

I’m the kid where mom rented a room and it was fine you create their reality and make up for it with park fares quality time and showing up everyday after school to pick them up you are their best time model all you sacrificed

[@luisjiron8154]

The fact that your parents DECIDED to have 11 CHILDREN makes me not feel bad for your dad’s struggles. 😂

[@Pancakes4dindin]

Its giving mormon cult.

[@jamesfinch691]

I grew up not having my folks together. Bouncing back in forth was normal for me. Two separate groups of friends and even going by two names. We were poor. I've lived in a car, a bus, tents, cockroach infested apartments, unfinished basements, etc. I have vivid memories of being hungry, being made fun of for being dirty, and having old clothes. I honestly don't know how I turned out as "good" as I did. I'm not financially secure however, so got a vesectomy a few years ago and it was the best decision I've ever made.

[@hals999]

I am 32 and starting fromnscratch. Lets just say i have fear but i am putting faith into works. I wish us all success. ❤

[@CultmemberNr.28369_s]

Good for you that you are not giving up. Starting from scratch can sometimes be a good thing. New beginnings and such. Great, that you are still so positive to wish us all success.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

Emma is a child of privilege. She doesn’t get it It’s so much more difficult for young people now My priority was always survival. So far , so good

[@kglushch]

0:48 I hate the framing (especially from people who are lucky enough to make money through social media) that it is selfish to spend money on things one enjoys, especially when money is the only way most people can have any form of rest or self-care. Even going somewhere else costs gas money because barely anything is walkable anymore. People deserve to have their basic needs met, including mental health and peace and enjoyment, while also being able to afford to have kids.

[@acaciajacqueline]

That one priviledged girl from the large family clearly doesnt realize how difficult it is to enter the "middle class" today. News flash, it aint earnin 30k any more!

[@DatBoisHouse]

Depends on where you are. In my area 40-50k is easily middle class

[@acaciajacqueline]

@DatBoisHouse 40-50k is not 30k

[@DatBoisHouse]

@@acaciajacqueline you comment was on entering the middle class. Where im at you can "enter" in at 40k. Thats all i was saying.

[@acaciajacqueline]

@@DatBoisHouse yes so how is 30k middle class any more. Those figures are nothing alike

[@DatBoisHouse]

@@acaciajacqueline well like i said it depends on where you are and your lifestyle

[@DimaRakesah]

My husband and I are working class people each with a full time and part time job. Our apartment is lower than similar apartments in this area and it still costs 1/3rd of our income. This is not sustainable. There is no money left over for children unless we lived in poverty. As it stands now I can save a little money for emergencies. If we had a kid there would be no buffer. Plus we wouldn't be able to afford childcare so one of us would have to stop working or severely cut our hours. We are completely priced out of owning a home. We could afford a place that is falling apart but there would be no money to fix it.

[@abcdefg216]

Then if you would buy the "fall apart house" it has wather damages so you (I/we) would give us and the kiddos mold deseases... which is NOT a solution... It has really changed alot in one generation. So its not "just" to do it and let renovations take time.

[@DimaRakesah]

@@abcdefg216 And you know other people would look at us and say we shouldn't have had kids or even married unless we were wealthy. It's mind blowing to me the way people act like it's possible for everyone to be well off in this country when it clearly is not. They just tell you that you're lazy so they can dismiss any problems and never have to have empathy for people struggling.

[@hermanrosario7045]

1 third your income, i think most people are struggling and your doing well

[@DimaRakesah]

@@hermanrosario7045 1/3 for ONLY rent (not utilities) and we both have to work 2 jobs to do it. That's not really "well" so much as getting by but one big emergency away from being homeless.

[@hermanrosario7045]

@@DimaRakesah most people pay half they are poor and struggling you are uncomfortable

[@catchinggates]

I feel this! At 21 my mom had depressive and sickness issues and so I've stayed to help my dad out. Now at 33, both parents need help and I'm the only child who has been there and will continue to be there for them. I felt a lot of frustration at this. Since my 20's, where I should have been working on my life and myself, was gone. And now my 30's is also caught in a net. Though, if I don't help them and stay, then who will? No one. And that really sucks. I'm still grateful to have them in my life and I know that down the line, helping my parents when they raised me, will be worth it. But I implore those boomers who still can, to really save up for retiremen. Because your children should not be the only safety net.

[@seabreeze4559]

Type hospice care kid into the search bar, don't let them use you. Especially if you aren't on the deeds.

[@seabreeze4559]

You are not married to your parents, that is called emotional incest so no, you don't need to help out your dad. That's why you pay taxes and so have they, for years.

[@seabreeze4559]

FYI domestic slavery of any kind is an international crime including care work, working on a family farm or restaurant etc. Especially if you feel forced or coerced into it. They didn't build you up so you owe them nothing morally as well.

[@Beginnerreadsthebible]

Maybe it's time to reevaluate your situation

[@endlesstomfoolery]

This 100%. My dad had several strokes after I finished my undergraduate degree, which prevented me from going on to get my doctorate. My brother had already moved away, and my parents divorced, so it fell to me to care for him. That was 10 years ago. I have a professional certification now that I got working full time and attending night classes. I have no idea if I'll ever be able to get my doctorate. I certainly can't move away, because I am my dad's only support. My brother has kids, and cannot move back home to help, because his wife's family offers so much money and financial support for the grandkids. I respect that, but it still leaves me alone. I love my father. He is a wonderful man. I am not having kids. Caring for him is taking everything, including my future. Kids would be impossible to factor into that. By the time he passes, I will likely have to care for my mother. Elder care in this country is just as much of a joke as childcare.

[@Lanae8199]

People, do not accept this. Things will not change or get better if we just accept the world for what is is. This is a major problem.

[@truthbetold4350]

Yes it is… When are we all going to stand up and say no? I’m down for boycotting just about everything- including paying mortgages, rent, taxes, etc.. until we change the system… But there are too many boot licking, tyrannical government collaborators all around us, who would not stand with us. That is the problem. People have been conditioned and adjusted to an abnormal, ass backwards, mentally ill society, and they love their slavery, at least they believe they do. If we all said no, well they can’t foreclose on, evict, or jail us all.

[@Lanae8199]

@user-xr7ci8tf3e I like your sarcasm.

[@ineedhoez]

Listen, we're not gonna fight the system period we're just gonna accept the rules of the game and then plan accordingly.

[@aouna9412]

With all due respect what do u have to mind to “not accept” or “fight the system” we’re measly little ants against a world that was already decided but is now showing its true colors because more dominoes have fallen to the point it’s impossible to not noticed. In my opinion the masses who are struggling “middle and lower classes” should purge the world which could result in death. Or stop going to work and buying fast food meals for a couple of months to see how desperate corporations, and stores get. Thousands of Walgreens stores went out of business due to this recently. Also McDonald’s decreased price in the meals because they got greedy and thought they can still get customers to buy their over priced foods so when it became a desert they resorted back to cheap prices. You don’t think landlords wouldn’t do the same? They just wanna see how far they can push the prices up slowly but surely. If the customers and renters keep paying then the owners will keep doing what they’re doing.

[@grantbishop1961]

​@user-xr7ci8tf3eit's 9nly good for the people who wear the tiny hats and big 👃 who you can't critique on anything without hearing a shrill whining. 😂

[@merriem24]

Forget about what someone “should” want. If you “don’t” want kids it’s ALWAYS better to not have them.

[@ShadeCandle]

Money is one of many reasons not to have kids, but not the biggest. To me it feels selfish and irresponsible to bring children into this time of ecological collapse. All credible evidence points to the world becoming a way worse place in the coming decades. I want kids, but couldn't live with the guilt of dooming them to a miserable future.

[@devinebucklin7509]

THANK YOU! Exactly!

[@marksimmons7906]

Gen X'er with two kids, one in middle school, one in high school. It is absolutely harder for families starting now than it was for us, and I went through the financial crisis and took an enormous bath on our first real estate purchase. Millennials and Gen Z ABSOLUTELY have less opportunities, it is absolutely harder for you than it was for me.

[@Mishy.mouse666]

We pay about $800 (US dollars) a month for childcare, and mind you that’s a REASONABLE PRICE that we are barely scraping by to afford. How is it that $1k is considered cheap?!? It literally equates to about $10 an hour, so not only is it a financial hardship on us, it makes me think how are these childcare workers paying their own bills? I work because even with childcare costs we need my income. Staying home would drastically affect our quality of life. Plus the only way I’m able to work is because I work for my family’s business that allows me to control my schedule. I am extremely blessed to have that and many parents don’t have something like that as an option. I can also take my son to work if I needed to I could never do regular 9-5 or something “normal” in the labor force with the demands of being a mom. It’s my body, my choice as well as the collective decision between my partner and I. We are happy and feel complete with our one kid. We can afford to provide a happy and comfortable home BECAUSE we have one kid. And that’s that.

[@OmniaSubSol]

Also, even when I was a kid my parents couldn't afford childcare so my mom got a job working in childcare so we could get a discount so they could afford to have us in childcare. And the lady who founded the childcare center that my mother worked at only started the company in the first place bc she couldn't afford to put her own 3 kids in childcare...lol. there's always a workaround so it's good to consider all the factors, both known and unknown, but it's also a matter of priority. Like there ARE projects across the US still and those ppl manage to make it work, mostly... The other issue is morbidity rates- nearly every population with higher child and infant morbidity rates throughout history (including modern lower class American populations) has a correlatively higher rate of birth- and that's not just with humans, that's true for any animal population, that's why so many animals have litters or clutches of babies instead of 1 at a time. And it's also part of the reason (along w reasonable access to education, Healthcare, contraception, etc) why so many low income populations tend to have more children- I would say it's human nature, but it's bigger than that- it's animal nature- it's evolutionary nature. So the other option is have 5 babies and even if you lose 2 of them you still have 3 left...seems like a dark or at least a disassociate way of looking at things but it's actually quite clinical and objective and ppl don't like to think about it but lower income families do have higher morbidity rates and we can say "they manage to make it work" till the cows come home- but if they're making it work by having more kids that even out the losses and we just aren't considering the number of actual child morbidities bc we don't like to think about it, then I guess the whole thing really comes down to your own personal definition of "making it work". If making it work means keeping kids alive then sure they're making it work. If making it work means raising all of your children happy, healthy, and successful and capable and into and through adulthood, then maybe they're not "making it work" after all... Someone on my fb recently lost a baby to their swimming pool ( they seem to have lived quite comfortably before having kids- a home w a pool- then after kids- less comfortable bc they clearly couldn't afford a safety gate between the back door and the pool. That child is GONE. FOREVER. But they still have their older son and when people talk about this stuff and think of them they won't be thinking of the child who died bc they couldn't afford a safety gate-bc nobody wants to think about that- they'll be referring to the child who survived. So I think it really does come down to priorities, but I think that the issue of priorities is FAR more complex than your argument, or even mine paint it to be.

[@believestthouthis7]

It's that much for just one child? Wow. Women could be "paying themselves" by saving the money and staying home with their own children.

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

That's more than my mortgage with taxes and home insurance.

[@believestthouthis7]

@@OmniaSubSol I know of a rich family that had an indoor pool and tragically lost a child also. Those are just dangerous for children to be around without supervision.

[@PlayerTenji95]

@@OmniaSubSolwow! Sorry for your friend’s loss.

[@atrea5824]

I meet a lot of young women through my job, and a lot of them also express how hard it is to find a committed romantic partner. They feel like they can't find people who wish to commit to a relationship, thus they have no one to buy a house with, start a family, share the financial burden, etc. It's a weird time we live in.

[@edupunknoob]

Society needs this wake up call. We have stopped supporting families and I’m sick to death of conservatives turning this into a personal problem. It’s a society problem, a structural problem. We need to solve that and then we can talk about people ‘making the priority’ of having children

[@networth00]

How did anyone stop supporting families? You work you eat.

[@didi7074]

​@@networth00Little to no paid paternity leave, moms have to return to work weeks or months after giving birth, barely spend time with their children since a stranger is taking care of them 8h a day, family doesn't help anymore, a lot of jobs don't want to hire single parents or moms with small kids (because then who will take care of the children?), childcare costs keep getting more expensive despite the people who actually take care of the kids making the same amount of money, cost of living is crazy too. You're really blind uh?

[@didi7074]

​@@networth00And before you say this is normal and healthy no it's not, there are countries who give mother's paid leave for 1 to 2 years or more depending of the country (in my country it's only 3 months after giving birth but fathers get 1 month). Some countries have areas for parents with babies where they can feed them and put them to sleep while they work (again, my country does not have this ), in some cases they even give you a certain amount of money for certain time to take some of the costs of raising kids such as clothes, food, baby supplies like bottles, diapers, car seats, cradles etc. In fact in those countries there are more births! Who would of thought? It's almost like having actual support makes people wanna have kids! Crazy right??? Instead of being treated like cattle

[@networth00]

@@didi7074 How about, women don't need to work if they marry the right husband. Women initiate divorce 75% of the time. I do not think it's normal to leave a child with a babysitter ever.

[@didi7074]

@@networth00 Also don't even bother answering me, you incell. Go enjoy your fishing trips bye 🖐️

[@raechelle1985]

Beyond, the monetary cost, there's only so much emotional support to go around. I only have 3 kids and it's hard to make sure I'm giving them the time and attention that they want/need.

[@ashh1371]

I Don’t even have kids but I’m a teacher. My classes where I have more than 20 or so, the students think I’m an awful person but the classes where I have around 12 or less, the students absolutely adore me. I have more patience and emotional support to go around with less kids!

[@er6730]

Yes, I have some grief about not having 4 children, but often the emotional support needs weigh me down and I'm grateful for only having 3. Mind you, I would advise people to either stop at two or go to 4+, family dynamics wise.

[@t.8936]

Hm. Not in my personal situation. I have 3 and am able to give each one plenty of time and attention. My husband and I discuss out children and how they are doing constantly. We look out for all of their signs, moods, behavior and everything to make sure they are OK. We spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch, talking, discussing, teaching, and playing. I am having a 4th! We handle all of our children just fine. Mind you, I am a SAHM and we are completely involved in their lives. We don't spend time at the golf course or shopping. We spend time with our kids. To each his own I guess.

[@PlayerTenji95]

@@t.8936admittedly, everyone is different; which means that everyone has different emotional bandwidths. What might be easy for you could be a bit overwhelming for someone else. That’s life, though!

[@t.8936]

@@PlayerTenji95 definitely! Everyone is different and has to make the best decisions for their family.

[@absndus]

What's the point of affording to have kids when the salaries are of teachers'; barely making a living but just enough to survive with basic apartment, foods, and water.

[@vulcanhumor]

Another thing that Americans have to deal with that people in other countries don't: we have to pay for our healthcare ourselves. This includes everything related to pregnancy. Between prenatal care, delivery, and postpartum care, it costs about $20,000 to have a baby in the US (granted, this varies depending on where you live...but wherever you go it's still many thousands of dollars). Some people are fortunate enough to have insurance that covers most of that, but a lot of people don't, and even with insurance it still costs several thousand at least. This also doesn't take into account and extra care some people need for pregnancy-related health complications, which can sometimes last for years after giving birth.

[@thenourway]

I live in a 3bedroom, 3bath townhouse with my husband (42) + kids (10, 7, 5, and #4 due early fall) my mother (62), AND my brother (31). We have to share. The house is jam packed but bursting with love. I got Student Loans, my brothers got student loans, but as a household we make enough to cover the bills. My mom pays the mortgage, brother covers the utilities, and we pay all the food. We cook a lot at home. And we do a lot of free activities like library, parks, camping, and flea markets. This is the season we are in and we are thriving.

[@hanatirk4375]

It sounds so nice 🙂 I wish I have that type of family to live with.

[@alicruz4900]

That is amazing you are working together as a team! More American families should do this, but too many are either too selfish or too programmed not to

[@AngelisaHassan]

I would do the same but my mom is dead.

[@oneperson5760]

Thats the way to go!

[@BeczaBot]

Sometimes living with extended family is the way to go. My household is milti-generational (3 generations).

[@aaronpoisson]

I’m a GenX/Millennial because my birthday lands on the transition. I’m an Army veteran with a career. Not married, no kids and costs are definitely a factor. It’s not affordable to even go out often with friends to meet new people to even start a relationship, let alone get married and have kids. My mortgage payment and car payments in addition to just standard costs of living stretch budgets razor thin.

[@oneperson5760]

So maybe dont have 2 cars.

[@aaronpoisson]

@@oneperson5760 I don’t have 2 cars.

[@lindaanber6717]

If housing costs were lower, it would change the game. Most people are paying half their income for rent or mortgage. You can't raise a family on that.

[@nathanbrady8529]

But then the capital investment groups that now own the housing can't pay their executives as much or shell out dividends for the shareholders.

[@grapesodabanked]

Stop voting for socialism, mass immigration and climate nazism, then. Government extortion, importing millions of potential buyers and environmental/zoning regulations are the main reasons why real estate keeps exploding. In addition to central bank money printing, of course. Just stop supporting all this evil stuff and vote against it with your money.

[@Pickle_Panther]

0:49 this is the biggest hurdle for me right now. Im saving everything I can but I still need $600-ish for fees and then another $1400 for first months rent on top of moving expenses. I literally cannot afford to move to a more affordable city.

[@Iquey]

The girl who grew up in a family of 11 kids lowkey has "i suffered so other people suffering isn't that bad 😇" vibes. If youre in a family of 6+ children, it's unlikely that everyone was actually thriving. She's just ignoring the truth. Children in large quiverfull families will suffer neglect, if not material neglect then bery likely attention/emotional safety and parenting/guidance neglect. Its like hoarding pets. Not every animal in an amimal hoarding house will turn out okay, no matter what the deluded owners believe.

[@daniellemasterson7590]

I think most of these families just sacrifice their large paychecks for large families. That doesn't mean they have any neglect though. It probably is fun for a child to have lots of kids around to play with. They do have a lot of hand me downs, so the oldest had newer clothes and youngest don't, but the oldest has to sometimes give up their toys to younger ones.

[@t.8936]

That's absolutely untrue. Maybe you have experience with this, but parents who love their children and are focused on them, and not other things can absolutely give plenty of love and attention to each one.

[@Klaudyacampos]

@@t.8936I agree. Even with two kids this can happen, the neglect. It’s all about the parents and what they do and how they show each individual child love.

[@minervarose7664]

@@daniellemasterson7590 i'm from a developing country, it was common in my parents' generation (boomers) to have large families. Actually, parents in those times took care of their kids very less, compared to my own friends who have 1-3 kids max. It is literally humanly impossible to put each child to bed separately when you have 10 kids 😂 often, the older kids had lots of responsibilities...cook food, dress the younger ones for school, sweep the house, etc. And it's also interesting that such families, as they grew older, tended to have lots of sibling rivalry and conflict too. Siblings would hold grudges against each other, have favourites and form alliances, fight over parents' property...in fact lawsuits within families over land and houses are extremely common in that generation.

[@chattycatty3336]

At first I didn't know if I agreed, but I think you're right in the majority of cases... Whether it's working to provide for those children or not having enough time to divide your individual attention, it is SO easy for parents to neglect their children... The worst part is when parents have a kid, and then pop out another just a couple years later, and instead of raising both and acknowledging their separate needs and wants, the older child gets to become the babysitter. It's especially bad in families that want BABIES. Not children, but infants. I hate when a parent has a baby and then the moment that baby becomes a child, they want another because they miss the experience. Those kinda parents tend to pour all the love and attention into their infant and do the bare minimum for the other. I get wanting to have kids close in age, but if you don't know what it actually means to RAISE A CHILD, maybe wait a couple years. A baby is a meat sack of needs, while a child is a small, developing human being. They both require a lot of work and id argue it's much more difficult when your little one can actually run and climb on things rather than being swaddled 90% of the day. That's not even mentioning the fact that your child now needs to learn how to read, write, understand math, understand right from wrong, etc. potty training and bottle feeding is the easy part.

[@BTheBoomXer]

Someone commented that previous generations were poor BUT had better support systems. I’ve noticed younger people are not as connected to extended family and don’t have the same type of friends network either. That definitely makes a difference. So I’m boomX-er. My silent generation parents moved in with my grandmother in a 3 bedroom row home. I shared a bedroom with my Aunt. It took them 5 years to save enough to buy their home. By the time I changed my mind to get married and have a baby, interest rates were double digits. Mind you no one I’m speaking of had degrees. This was all blue collar people. Unfortunately an elderly parent passed, left her home to my mother who rented it to us for cheap to allow us to save for a house. Which we did, it took 10yrs. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@oneperson5760]

Exactly. People need family to make it now, but pride and poor social and emotional skills make it so that relationships are damaged and bridges burned and nobody helps anybody. We need to have better, emotionally mature relationships and stay together and help each other in these times.

[@Maggie-zb7gx]

I am 30 and none of my friends have kids and still live a very free life. My gen X parents have stated that they don’t want to change diapers or do really any of the maternal activities for my kids. Idk what I can do about these things.

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

In the USA when a mom is not working and continuing making income, they also give up on more social security they would normally be earning through working, which also impacts women's retirement. So a few years of zero income means lost social security. After 10 years of marriage, she can claim her husband's if they were married 10 years before they divorced or he died. But that's hoping that his job doesn't kill him, or that you can make it 10 years.

[@PlayerTenji95]

Wait, what?! I didn’t know this until very recently, but you just reminded me. There’s not a law on the books that provides a cushion for SAHMs?! 😳

[@gracielar.2934]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5. We are both college graduates and professionals. I always said I wanted to wait to have a baby until after we purchased a home. We saw housing prices in our area increase year after year from 800k to now 1.2m. Finally we decided if we wait on a house we may never have kids. We now have a beautiful 8 month old and though we are renters in an overly priced apartment, we try to find the good of it all. But yes, as much as I want a second baby, the thought of housing prices, daycare, food, and everything else makes me think we may never have another. 😢

[@Dexter01992]

Recessions weren't meant to last forever, but man, I entered the job market in 2008. It feels like we never got out of it. It's just crisis after crisis piling up. Every single tiny problem in the world automatically affects everyone istantaneously as company immediately increases costs due to speculation.

[@connorohare229]

One of the big problems is that we have 70 year olds in positions of power who still buy into the 'overpopulation' fears from the 1970s, while not noticing the below average birthrates and forcing an outdated worldview on younger generations.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

8 billion on the planet and growing And your not concerned about overpopulation?

[@razorbladelemonade]

@@emilyfeagin2673I’m not I think it’s a myth

[@ShesDeafSir]

If you gave every single man, woman, and child one acre of land the entire world population of almost 9 billion could live in Africa and Australia comfortably while leaving the remaining 5 continents uninhabited.

[@crystalyn2855]

Umm. The planet is huge we just like to be close to each other and drain all the resources from it. People are just freaking out about not having space to sleep? There is land it's just people don't like some of the land because it's not convenient for comfort?😅

[@Maria-pv2ji]

​@@emilyfeagin2673 if you are in a corporate Job yes!!

[@mchlle94]

You don't even need an "excuse" to have kids. You don't owe the world kids. End of story.

[@Emshep18]

Also, it’s crazy how motivating having kids is to better your financial situation. We were already doing good, but I swear I saw a switch flip in my husband the moment we saw those two pink lines. Very shortly after that, moved back to hometown to be around family, better job secured, house purchased, my job- quit. Parenthood makes good people better people.

[@bravelittleroomba]

"a lot of women will take turns watching each other's children" and where are the fathers in any of this? The burden of childrearing still falls almost exclusively on women and that is a huge part of the issue. A lot of women just don't want to live their lives this way.

[@thecuttinggardener361]

Unfortunately millennials fell prey to the “just get any college degree and you’ll be ok” mentality that our parents said. A lot of people got silly degrees thinking they would be able to get a good job because having a degree meant transferable skills. So a lot of millennials took out tremendous student loans for a degree that doesn’t directly translate to a good paying job. There’s also a level of lifestyle that millennials have become accustomed to- travel and eating out is the norm now, where it didn’t used to be.

[@Mom_of_the_Chickies]

The problem is people won’t work hard or use their problem solving skills. I got a kind of useless degree. Biochemistry. I was a glorified cook earning anywhere from $15-22 an hour. Not worth having a bachelors when others made the same or more. So I used my brain 🧠 and applied for other jobs not in my field and guess what, now I live a cushy life and do less work than I did when I was a lab monkey. The whole point of college is to gain knowledge to make it in the real world. So many people do so much work applying for positions they will never get. Or they could get if they knew how to sell themselves. I’ve seen so many resumes with unnecessary information. No one cares about your GPA or that you used to work at Walmart. Sell what is relevant. Have a master CV and draw stuff from there to tailor to each position.

[@kubetail12]

@@Mom_of_the_ChickiesI have noticed a lot people get jobs from people in their networks or by networking. Just by chatting it up with people at conferences I found opportunities but I was nowhere near graduating at the time. A lot of my closest friends and colleagues got jobs outside of engineering. I think employers also want to hire people who can hit the ground running.

[@mrsevergreentree]

Say it louder for the people in the back

[@youareworthalot1228]

Im 37. It’s not the norm for me. Eating out and traveling is not for people who are poor.

[@asongfromunderthefloorboards]

It is not feasible to say that everyone should just be in the fields that make the top 10% of income. That is not how a society works. You literally can't have an entire country working at Google. We need teachers and nurses and delivery drivers and cooks and bus drivers, mechanics, etc. The only thing that would happen if everyone tried to go into software is India. In India and some other countries, there is a huge pressure to become an engineer or a doctor. So engineering is the default degree. So the bus drivers have engineering degrees because you literally cannot have a country that is all engineers. So no. Your theory that everyone can just work high paying jobs in software doesn't work. Software pays a lot because it has huge profits *and* because companies compete for the top talent. The high-paying tech companies do not even want 90% of software engineers, let alone 90% of the entire population. They are like professional sports teams bidding on players, that's *why* they pay so much. In many other markets, software is just an average job, people make about the median income, a fraction of what is possible in the US. This belongs in the "90% of jobs should be done by teenagers" category of ridiculous economics.

[@frenlyneybur7544]

To all the people saying "make it work"... okay, so that means take an extra job to support your family. What else could it mean? So now, you've picked up another job, and now you see your family less. Whats yhe point in having children if you're at work all the time? Will you just magically lose all your stress when you come home? You can't grow a great relationship with your child if you're working all the time and are stressed about finances.

[@spookynoodles1212]

my partner and i are DINK and after rent for a one bedroom (in one of the cheapest states to live in) and CHEAP groceries, we hardly have enough to put away for savings. we wouldn’t be able to FEED children, let alone cover child care and medical costs. the cost of giving birth alone is more than our combined yearly income, and that’s with no complications. neither of our jobs provide parental leave, and daycares in our area cost over 1500 a month for one child and these are not safe environments. having children in the USA has become a luxury, one most people can’t afford even if they’d like kids

[@high-d8872]

In Austria nearly half the population is "always renters". It differs from country to country

[@bethanykoloch7919]

Husband and I both have practical and applicable degrees that open up many job opportunities. Our income would have been very cushy back when we were kids in the 80s/90s but with the prices and inflation today there’s no way we could achieve that same lifestyle. An income that could sustain 11 children when she was growing up would not be able to do the same by todays standards.

[@kglushch]

I feel like another issue is that many of these people don’t see parents as humans. They think that once you have children, you shouldn’t strive for or want anything more. You should want to be a stay at home parent and sacrifice the prospect of a career, you should want to spend your money on having children rather than on your own enjoyment, you should sacrifice your own basic needs and comforts for parenthood, and that’s just so screwed, especially when there’s already virtually no communal support for parents. Not to mention, our taxes should be providing for so much of our and children’s basic needs. It’s not a naive idea, especially when other countries have already done so. The only people who should have to cut down spending and compromise are those that hoard wealth and power.

[@MultiAnne36]

From the time I had my first child in 91 to my last in 2004, things changed a lot. I thought I could afford to have 4 children but it caught up to me real fast in the 2000s. Our financial situation went downhill after 2008 and I just barely made it to raise my kids. Now I am still feeding and housing 2 of my adult children with no end in sight.