Monday Morning Podcast 1-7-19

Bill rambles about Germany, NFL playoffs, and thin privilege.
Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2
Here’s the website! billburr.com
I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.
I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.

[@mariozuna4446]

Saw Ol' Billy Rotgesicht ( Redface in German) yesterday in Offenbach. He started a bit slow and looked like he was dying from AIDS from the jet lag and the busy tour schedule, but then crushed as usuall after warming up a bit. Props to his openning act, Paul Virzi, who also crushed his 15 minutes before Bill. Thank you for coming, you are always welcome to Germany and we are always glad to pitch in for your daughters private school. Take care

[@dinoradja242]

Billy boy counting his sobriety days like a good alchy

[@ozeppeo]

Finally saw Ol' Billy Redface live in Munich (the 3:30 show) and it was great!

[@mustafamustermann3859]

Missed him unfortunatly. When I first heard him promoting his Europe Tour it was already late December. There were only Tickets for 2 shows available. I already had an appointment for the 5th which I could not cancel. Munich would have been 600km but still perfect, because the next day was free. I could have made it to Offenbach on the 6th, but then I would have had to drive directly to work from his show. Probably missed the one chance I had to see him live.

[@mustafamustermann3859]

@amanda miller Just finished listining the podcast. He said he will be back at he end. I will definetly not miss that one.

[@KSXIYo]

me too, it was fucking amazing

[@Buraak97]

I missed him too, i learned about it wayy to late in december. I hope i will get another chance

[@NeoIntelGore]

Me too, part B1. I felt like the only German around there lol.

[@the_real_schopenhauer985]

The show in Munich was amazing! Thanks for having been here and come back soon!

[@steffk5755]

I was at the 3:30 show in Munich and it was awesome Thanks for visiting bill

[@steffk5755]

@@landonic81 wow my first legitimate troll encounter - thank you fellow internet person!

[@steffk5755]

The Scary Scotsman haha don’t worry just ignore that idiot I guess I knew a lot of his bits but there were certainly quite a few new ones and luckily some Germany related stuff sprinkled in between :D

[@MaxJusth]

Wow, do people seriously do this because you are German? I love German people, they are so nice.

[@MaxJusth]

@Ron Burgundy lmao, In all nationalities there are people with sense of humor. And do you really base your knowledge on disney movies?

[@nelsondumayaca5568]

I love the Honey commercial with the Amazon shit hahahahahahahha

[@Pyriphlegeton]

I was at the 3:30 show in Offenbach yesterday. And apart from Bill apologizing for evening humour in the afternoon - it was fucking amazing! Always welcome back Bill, thank you!

[@Pyriphlegeton]

But to be fair - at times the crowd seemed quite unresponsive to the feminism/race stuff. Which was unfortunate, because that's your best material! :D

[@jahzen67]

I love your "high horse" observations. I'm not saying, I always agree but god bless your honesty bro. I look up to you. Your my favorite alcoholic comedian.

[@GordonGecko10]

I was at the 3:30 show in offenbach but only because 8:30 was sold out. My face was hurting after the show from the laughing man. I had an awesome time!

[@IzzySoDope]

U have to watch at least 30sec of the ads if u want billy boy to get paid

[@hhectorlector]

Izzy SoDope what about clicking the ad?

[@IzzySoDope]

@@hhectorlector thats better than just watching

[@xXSHAWNXx420]

no you don't, i haven't seen an ad on youtube in 12 years, its called a free ad blocker. what is this 1998? get the fuck with it its 2019.

[@karlbartelt3939]

@@xXSHAWNXx420 I use it to, but it stops Billy Ball Bag from getting any money from us, I guess we better pay to see him when he is in town!

[@xXSHAWNXx420]

@@karlbartelt3939 lol i'm not going to watch an ad on a youtube video to make a millionaire more money. No one should be making money on youtube, its for cat videos and car chases not a fucking business plan. I'll pay to watch a live show but thats it. I pay for my internet, i paid for my router, my laptop, i'm going to a free website, i'm sure as fuck not ever going to watch an ad nor buy anything from an ad on youtube EVER.

[@ajp1282]

Sick, jet-lagged, and in the middle of the night, can't wait for Bill to come back to the states! Rest up and get that energy back!

[@ctwatcher]

My brother lived in Berlin, took me there for 3 months in '71, best place ever back then. Went through Checkpoint Charlie into the east to see the history, all very depressing. Everything else from the food on was the best I'd ever experienced in the west.

[@ctwatcher]

@selfatrophy No, I can't go back now. My sister-in-law is German, she's going blind, my brother was killed over there. I believe in freedom not suppression and that's what I see there, hear is happening there. I'll keep my memories.

[@arborinfelix]

Last Sunday I was at your show in Offenbach. It was great.

[@LafriteRip]

I like how it’s a big deal about pissing sitting down 😂😂😂

[@dominator146]

9 ads? What is this the USA network

[@everett8811]

Get KZbin red it's worth it, no ads ever.

[@hamschh]

get adblock

[@johnnynieves3742]

Dont get youtube red. Get ad block. Its free and works.

[@souhailmarghabi4113]

Finally saw a Bill Burr Live show in Munich ( the 8 pm show) and it was Awesome. One thing less in my things To-do List for 2019.

[@lilmonsta6701]

We enjoy this shit. You got me twisted, by me saying "January, 7th, 2018." 😆 😆 😆

[@nateypoo]

I love these ASMR-style podcasts :>

[@redbeardfacebaldhead5099]

Bill Burrs voice makes me relaxed... 😴

[@Pyriphlegeton]

2:50 "The Munich Krauts were fucking ridiculous." I feel offended.

[@ferd_dwi]

It's great bill, the low voice starts to internalize in my mind.

[@htruh15]

Thanks for the history lesson Billy Bobblenuts

[@TheZimmerman69]

As a Seahawks fan, I wholeheartedly agree with the description of the Pete Carroll statue lol

[@JoeWagner21]

43:02 Listening to this was driving me insane. ASD means he's autistic. And he said his girlfriend was invited to HIS birthday party and didn't want to pay for herself. I agree with the guy, who gets invited somewhere and then says "are you gonna pay for my gas." Dudes better off now...

[@ComicWriter-ml3qt]

Joe W thank you. Bill sounds kinda out of it like he woke up recently so I guess that’s why he got it mixed up. Or the guy didn’t write the letter properly

[@JoeWagner21]

@@ComicWriter-ml3qt ya it sounded like he was doing some editing to the letter on the spot so that could could've been it.

[@ComicWriter-ml3qt]

Joe W I do like bills response to the letter cutting off. Made me laugh

[@TimothyMcVay]

that was driving me crazy too

[@austinflynn5374]

Yeah, to be fair I had to go back and see if I had heard it wrong, but he was a bit off on that one.

[@joshlong2709]

sir put your seatbelt back on.

[@kevlar8899]

Over 27 miles of beaches............

[@SpaceCatMiqote]

Poor bastard did not even have the speech down

[@JamesGormleyMusic]

Probably had his foot up on the dashboard

[@folksingerscottlee]

The bears coach Nagy went for 2 points because if he took the 1 it wouldve been a 6 point game. The eagles also missed a two point conversion.

[@aaronrodriguez1548]

Dude said 2018 haha had me do a double take on the calendar

[@PooNinja]

Great whisper cast Sir. it is the worry that makes us tired :(

[@number1authority]

Literally going through the same thing as far as drinking and sleeepin

[@greysky65]

We’re just chillin like a villain 🦹‍♂️

[@RelaxxationStation]

Im so fucking excited to see Bill tommorror that I had a dream seeing him live this night 😂

[@sub10-zin15]

Just waitin on bill’s thoughts of Clemson/Alabama game

[@Loganberry]

Dude I’m from Seattle and how you described Pete Carroll with his hands on his knees looking at the ground, fuckin perfect description.

[@brentulstad3275]

Bill Burr the Great Calendar Keeper! Official Time Master!

[@michaelp8995]

Lets all get stoned watch first 48 and start freaking out

[@n1c98]

He's right. It's good comedy, even if alot of it isn't hysterical it's golden info

[@MRCdeadlySniper]

The greatest comic of all time

[@nullakjg767]

Louis ck?

[@ImEverythingYouCrave]

null akjg no lol

[@nullakjg767]

@@ImEverythingYouCrave I dont know what podcast you listened to but this was one of bill burrs least funny ones yet. Talking about Nuremberg and slavery and privilege and no jokes.

[@heronlyfriend]

19:05 NFL Playoffs

[@jjthesavage]

It was tough seeing my Bears go down but we did better this year than I expected. We couldn't get 1st downs to save our lives early in the game. Our defense stood up pretty well but we allowed tons of 1st downs early. Billys right about the 2pt attempt, kind of an odd choice. Then the partially blocked/missed FG at the end was rough. Oh well, I think we have 3-5+ good years coming. Bear Down.

[@landonic81]

Seeing Bears fans lose their shit last night was awesome. Fuckin mouth breathing cunts

[@coryphilbin899]

If the bears went for 1, they would have been up 16-10. The eagles scored and would have still been up by 1, 17-16 assuming both XP's were made. Going for 2 was absolutely the right choice and there really isnt even a discussion about iit

[@jjthesavage]

@@coryphilbin899 eagles aren't guaranteed a td just for going for it.

[@jjthesavage]

@@landonic81 we don't corner the market on mouth breathers and I'm not losing my shit. Proud of the improvement from our guys.

[@landonic81]

@@jjthesavage Be prepared to have your team move back to being irrelevant for the next 10 years. Buncha fat fuck mouth breathing Ditka loving assholes.

[@TripleDDDD]

You probably mixed up the Nuremberg trials with the signing of the capitulation. That one was in France.

[@elemenz888]

Divorce chance for 2019: 29% Divorce chance for 2020: 73%

[@a.k.4o]

Acetate overseas freckles

[@heatherclear5903]

I love you, Bill.

[@ProductionsEnd]

Billy the nut bag, the low voice makes you sound therapeutic! I lit a couple of candles!

[@lumpy0100]

Thanks Bill Burr.☺

[@13Safar]

Just here to see if there's Benjamin Owen retaliation.

[@youthofyesterdayrecords]

Space is fake

[@Banned4Life]

Good show tonight, enjoy the sauna.

[@camerongriffin2845]

2018 huh? we can tell its 3am lol @0:09

[@TheOne-ec9ku]

3 am...this is the shit Burr dreams about

[@JohnDoe-cd6ro]

Tells everyone he wanted to get exclusive sneakers. * Gets Nike Cortez * 🤦

[@MrGreen-ek1bo]

I was in jail when he streamed this. I'm free now so watch out. JKJK

[@redscarecomixx8488]

Looked like I could fk up a whole lego city.

[@donothingclub3509]

I need to watch this live idk why

[@a.k.4o]

Where's Versi? The podcast with Versi are some of my favorites

[@wex7581]

See you in Warsaw in 4 days. I bring my gf who doesn't speak English too, because why not

[@amateuranth2796]

Seems like a waste of money to bring her.. 😆😂🤣

[@IzzySoDope]

😂👍

[@IzzySoDope]

@@amateuranth2796 more $ for bill haha

[@amateuranth2796]

@@IzzySoDope I would rather bring a sock puppet to see bill, rather than my girlfriend that cant speak English.. lol

[@wex7581]

Well, maybe, but she enjoys his stand-ups and F is for family (translated to her language). So I thought she should join me.

[@alexwestsidin2319]

Ayyye Bill Jetlaggin Burr

[@WDDWTV]

That is why... you go see places to tell fresh stories like its morning juice made of different perspectives 😀 I dont know how do you manage to address such a variety of subjects for an audience from so many different countries - sausage and mash monday breakfast type of question.

[@keybenson]

Don't do it! stay sober ! Now am a comedian 👍

[@ericortiz3474]

I haven't drank in two weeks.

[@lrighttobewhite]

Well, you would be pretty dead then....

[@JargMarg]

did you record this in a church confessional billy whispahs?

[@alexnorcal3209]

We want loud Bill Burr back! When you just check up on us in a whispered voice it gets weird 😆. Not quite modal/me undies weird, but close!

[@GamingTherapy-ITV]

I needed a cigarette after hearing Billy Ol' Seductive Voice Burr.

[@geensloth911]

He sounds like More from the Simpsons

[@markc3986]

Bill - if you’re flying drink the shit out of water before during and after. It’s what all long flight pilots and flight people do to avoid lag And .....it’ll water down the booze some too

[@hhectorlector]

As of 12pm on the day of release, it’s looking like the podcast left 10 people feeling “thin shamed or whatever”

[@dirtywicked6408]

Sorry bill I jumped the gun ..next time you in Germany drink up and enjoy the food 😋😊😋good man

[@jacobthomas6188]

Hey billy baldy face was listening to one of your last podcasts and if you’ve got the time I could easily get you tickets to watch any of the football games whilst you are in Liverpool or Manchester?

[@Bittkowski]

See you in Berlin on friday!

[@ComicWriter-ml3qt]

45:52 no I believe he meant that she was expected to pay for her own food and it was his birthday dinner

[@joor2095]

Hey Bill do you wear reading eyeglasses when reading advertisements?

[@crakkae]

MY BOOKIEEEE

[@number1authority]

Keep thinking Billy Boy

[@HyperSaneDemon]

I wish u would do your podcast live

[@onpsxmember]

38:16 Can anyone tell me who this guy is he's talking about? Freez Luv? Does he mean Freeze Love, the guy that opened for Charlie Murphy? Is that the same guy being in Berlin during the cold war? Hook me up with a link.

[@onpsxmember]

I think that's it: www.podomatic.com/podcasts/ob96/episodes/2018-03-12T00_56_35-07_00

[@davidngo1330]

Just don’t have jet lag

[@grantking9964]

The one man who should stay on his high horse and speak.

[@carrrexx7190]

Hey Bill, 2019 hairs left on my head, Burr!

[@spacerauk0001]

Ol' Billy Boy, time to educate yourself by watching The Greatest Story Never Told.

[@spacerauk0001]

And this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qpXYZWhvi6h9n68

[@alexanderlindsey4066]

You want a badass flag? Mozambique

[@Densmith43]

Oh child things are going to get easier .

[@ComicWriter-ml3qt]

45:26 sounds like he accidentally hit send.

[@pavlovsworld9122]

The number of hours u spent in flight is the number of days it could take to get thru the 'laaag' dude. Chill drink water. No booze✌💪

[@ragecotidianopodcast-zerov1918]

- Bill - What? - Buuuuuuuurr... - oh man, you scared me. Little joke to relax Bye.

[@drazens.7905]

@Nuremberg: maybe the information you got from your ww2 documentaries were too predominant at that moment when you was actually being there. Living there, or anywhere else, grants you another perspective of all the nuances. Love your show, looking forward seeing you live in Vienna!

[@jorgearellano177]

Aaaaah you said 2018! HA HA HA

[@abrahamjenkins432]

ITS GRANNY FUCKIN WATTAH !

[@brentulstad3275]

Acetate! 2019 Billyboy! ACETATE!!! 2019

[@stoneycarter6429]

Bill melatonin works great, i get mine from trader joes, take it thirty minutes before laying down and you’ll be out like a light

[@bwolohan18]

I get the same feeling in other countries Bill. I'm irish ( Dud) but any American friends I have from Dallas I always ask stupid shit like "have you even been to Deally Plaza". I get it dude, it's normal

[@lotuswebteam]

Right, I'm an alcoholic but I know what year it is, Billy.

[@davidpurba194]

No bill it's not all people it just American who go to war for oil 😂😂😂

[@susie7336]

Seems like he’s always sick.

[@a.k.4o]

I think he refuses to believe he has allergies

[@AllenNelsonBoisjoli]

all gingers are sickly. their DNA is damaged.

[@drewerving7428]

He's aging

[@drewerving7428]

Btw can we go on a date?

[@TheStuport]

Susana Sunshine--- Shaddap Mary Twat Poppins

[@tadficuscactus]

I piss when I'm sitting down at home because if I stand up my piss tends not to always go in the direction I want because if you have a foreskin the direction of the stream can be unpredictable. Also the toilet aty house has quite a flat bowl and when you piss from a greater height it splashes and then you have to clean the splash spray up.

[@Bjock888]

Melatonin billy really helps me it fucking works Costco sells it

[@williamwall2744]

Yo bill chill with the ads just a bit thanks

[@thegoodguyz59ers42]

I’m in Bremen Bill!!! Help me Im American too!!!

[@tadficuscactus]

People without privilege don't get to complain.

[@HCGSeth]

poor guy is always stuck in the wrong year

[@dominickpena974]

It's not Amazon it's FedEx that loses your shit

[@TheArbiterOfTruth]

People break up over the dumbest things. If gas money was worth breaking up over, you shouldn’t have been together in the first place.

[@DolphLongedgreens]

Nice podcast Ben Stein. Needs more caffeine or cardio. Nuremberg also has the race track you can test for yourself.