"Monkey News" - XFM Compilation

[@JacobARexstraw]

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest segment of a radio show, ever!

[@sjn6704]

Jacob R add to that War Do You Think Of That Then and Do We Need 'Em and there's no argument

[@jbri1]

@@sjn6704 well no. Its this and nothing else comes close.

[@Tomversal]

I preferred Educating Ricky but I think everything Karl brought to this was hilarious usually

[@alanaswadkins7907]

@@jbri1 uuuuuuuu

[@alanaswadkins7907]

@@sjn6704 uuuuuuuuuuuüuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[@danedge4346]

"So the monkey drove to Spain" "It was an automatic" That had me in stitches 😂🤣

[@rumham8124]

time stamp please

[@sjn6704]

Monkey news, Rockbusters, Educating Ricky, Knob news, Songs of Phrase, War do you think of that then, Do we need em?... how did this not win a Sony? In my opinion the best radio show ever 'created'

[@giles4565]

When they get foxy on to ask him why they didn't win and he says "It just wasn't funny" really winds me up. I know humour is subjective but this is possibly the funniest show ever aired on a radio anywhere.

[@janpec10]

It didnt win an award becouse the people who judge it have very "classic" and pretentious approach to what should be funny.

[@HeatyFrog]

+98smithg2 That was just because they took the piss out of him all the time

[@mistervanderveer]

Absolutely. It reached people all over the world, including the Netherlands (although we're literally neighbors, but still). There's even people from Finland and South Africa familiar with Karls antics. Mad innit!

[@pinotgrigio4707]

@@giles4565 You do realise that wasn't real with 'Foxy' dont you!?? He was in on that 'interview' quite obviously.....

[@Curthe93]

"Something's said." My favorite line from Karl.

[@29memyselfandi]

Yep, an under appreciated Karl gem.

[@minniedriver6871]

I lose it every time

[@arturobandini4078]

@@minniedriver6871 it's a good line but "And someone kept winning 'em" kills me even more.

[@jbri1]

​@@arturobandini4078😂

[@frankhaula]

Haha! What else did you like?

[@TechnoBambino]

"You're gonna love this one, Steve"

[@jd9171]

TechnoBambino Monkey drove to spain on its own.....mad init?"

[@ZuvioxArts]

TechnoBambino "awhhhhh DON'T TALK SHIT KARLLLLL!!!!!"

[@FrozenSurf]

He speaks, highly educated, photographer...

[@connormitchell6446]

As I read this comment he said it😂

[@hpebackwards]

right we'll make im a colonel.

[@akbaraziz5914]

Apparently he's holder of PhD of Physics

[@Aza13]

This one always gets me 🤣🤣

[@johngilmore697]

I was just wondering, will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

[@anindyogoswami7577]

The only thing that's pulling me through my 20's life crisis.

[@RIOTPUNK1977]

thats dope. git me through tons of grief.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Is the crisis over?

[@ISetYourFaceOnFire]

Dude tell me you're in a better spot now?

[@raulduke3237]

Yea this was a big help for me then too

[@AlphaBravoDingo]

Did you make it?

[@SpecificallyDanielSwan]

In life, simply because of this show, when a friend's annoying me or talking shite, I'll still say 'play a record'.

[@treehousekohtao]

Play 2 records!

[@TheDanSwan1]

Which part of the world are you in? Never met another Daniel Swan

[@WanderingChin]

Educating Ricky: 'There's More Than Swan Of Them'

[@Dilkingt0nne]

Karl actually chuckling a bit is the most endearing thing ever for some reason, probably cus it’s so rare

[@arturobandini4078]

The mask slips from time to time

[@Michele1ELL]

Ricky's anger is my favorite

[@15-Peter-20]

Michele Neri Ian brown !!!

[@15-Peter-20]

Michele Neri your well pretty

[@hittman1412]

"what that's the end of it?!?"

[@jacoblee-hart9647]

'THEY DID NOT SEND A MONKEY DIRECTOR!'

[@litillmeow]

DONT. TALK. SHITE.

[@michaeltyrrell1305]

"Mentalists who write websites about themselves all day". Now Ricky has a daily blog and is on twitter 24/7. Funny how times change

[@Owen_005]

Hasn’t changed even 8 years later

[@maxpaynless7505]

@@Owen_005 Honestly thought this comment was from the last couple of years, seems he's been at it for ages.

[@Crashoverride774]

There's a slight difference between Ricky Gervais, a household name, bafta winning, couple of globes and acting in some tv and movies who has millions of fans and a mentalist

[@georgie535]

@@Crashoverride774not for Michael over here apparently.

[@phlog_dog7336]

​@@Crashoverride774hi Ricky

[@basharun]

"Something's said." HAAAHAAAHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[@ollieoleary]

1:30:30 I will never tire of Steve and Ricky's uproarious reaction!

[@westmcgee9320]

Well done. This slayed me straight away.

[@MeAuntieNora]

Weird innit?

[@gibbs7444]

Lol

[@davidbilla5630]

Me Auntie Nora I love ur name dude.. lol

[@taylorcj565]

+David Billa she had wind for 5 minutes, innit?

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

+Taylor Jamieson ...and a fanny like a ripped tennis ball. x

[@kylsters]

+BigJamook and tits like old half deflated balloons

[@C-R-l-M-S-O-N]

1:01:34 he's walking upright, he's havin a tea in the morning... finishing off the day with brandy. gets a bit out of hand, He only tries it on with the zookeeper's wife!

[@grease_monkey6078]

I love the one about the monkey who posed as the lab assistant, what makes even more funny is that Ricky made up Kirsty as her name and Karl uses Kirsty in the story.

[@Technicolor909]

DON'T TALK SHIT. YOU'RE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. Cut to next episode of monkey news.

[@tmic4043]

Ricky is definitely Tull of empty threats haha

[@PM-lg5ow]

1:31:15. Karl says "I think it started off quite simple" when asked about how a chimp-owned wellness center came about. lol

[@saltaenutrof]

Karl: "Anyways... It turns out, he was a chimp" Ricky: "You're Joking!" Ricky: "Well... Christ all ffffff mighty! There you go."

[@taylorcj565]

+Fortune Rioba this TRICYCLE comes whizzing past.......

[@saltaenutrof]

+Taylor Jamieson 1:38:00 Haha! loved that one. "There is always one element you can never anticipate" - Stephen

[@taylorcj565]

+Fortune Rioba I love Ricky's voice. " Couldn't quite see the cyclist?"

[@AgentSmith911]

The fact that most of these monkey news stories actually exists, makes it all that more funny.

[@BiffyFighters]

The bit from around 1:52:00 "they said...let's do some business with the bananas". Was listening on the bus and thought i was going to have a hernia trying not to laugh.

[@BiffyFighters]

4 years since I posted this. Still coming back to this glorious story

[@BiffyFighters]

"FROM THE ROUGH BIT!!"

[@Kduck2145]

Matthew King still makes me laugh uncontrollably lol

[@lightrays3595]

Well there's no point in getting into a fight with them cause they're harder than we are. So let's do...

[@winecheese2185]

The way Steve says 'Rick, I dont know who to believe.' cracks me up.

[@jakejones9097]

someone kept winning em

[@MrLarryhoover425]

Weird innit!

[@MrBuch169169]

Oh God, the 'PhD in physics' made me laugh so hard I actually nearly fainted. Well done Karl!

[@15-Peter-20]

I've must of listened to this 20+ times & i still piss up laughing every time !!!

[@mAcroFaze]

"THAT'S THE END OF THE FFF--STORY!!"

[@borednow5838]

"20 offers of marriage, does that bother you Steve?!

[@xxIXLaurenXIxx]

This has me in stitches, so funny the way Steve has to calm Ricky down when he loses it, Karl is one of the funniest people in the public eye today!!

[@leftsidedrive_]

2:01:30 Not the first monkey news that comes to mind but the delivery is easily a 10/10. Classic Karl

[@anonymouse4138]

Lmao... this is my favorite one. The monkey bassist

[@markgates9712]

love all of karl and rickys work, never disappoints me! used to watch these videos going to sleep, one of only things that let me drop off haha. very difficult to sleep as a schizophrenic this usually does the job though, got me and a lot of people through hard times judging by comments ect. thanks for the upload!

[@TheKesarda]

same helps me sleep too

[@MrNoobmove]

Barney Lawson i thought i was the only one that listened to this before sleeping hahaha, nice to hear other people do the same.

[@markgates9712]

thank you for all the thumbs up :)

[@TheAmericanDane]

I do the same, always listen while drifting off to sleep👍🏼

[@connor9568]

Karl, Ricky & Steve

[@bobbyweezer]

...I can't take this any more, Steve... I'm gonna be sick.

[@AdamBeckett-f1i]

❤

[@UnbelievablyGauche]

i love when karl says "the magician opens the boot and asks the monkey how it is...and the monkeys yeah i'm sound yeah"...and then later describes the monkey as "givin' it some"

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

"Right, you'll like this one..." Just Karl's 'intro' saying these words and I laugh now. x

[@properdiglett]

1:14:15 might be my all time favourite moment from these shows "Did he go off an' ave a holiday, did he dadada...?"

[@Spudgun81]

Thanks for uploading these. I listened to most of the episodes when they were broadcast on Xfm and it's great to hear them again albeit without the music.

[@86sVideoDump]

I've listened to this 4 times in the last week and it's still as funny as it was the first time

[@jeremyc9593]

1:19:56 "THAT'S THE END OF MONKEY NEWS! THAT'S THE END OF MONKEY NEWS!" My favorite of all the angry reactions from Gervais.

[@LootFreak]

Man, could you imagine living in englad driving home from school in the back of the car hearing these guys on the radio every afternoon. God it would have been amazing.

[@wh0586]

My sides! I have heard most of these before but they never get old. Ricky gets so pissed off LMAO

[@borednow5838]

The Victorian ape woman is one of my all time favourites! Ricky's little add-ons are priceless.

[@ValkyrieDaisy95]

God the Victorian Ape Woman one was epic XD!! Loved 1:40:03! "Ooooohh yeaah...Couldn't quite see THE CYCLIST!" lol XD That was classic Ricky!

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

Ricky was loving Karl's nonsense during that one haha. Definitely one of my favorites

[@ohoto3896]

"Just a scruffy bloke who hasn't had a shave in a while..." He rarely ever laughs when he knows this is twaddle, which is brilliant.

[@241N786]

"lets do business with bananas" ded.

[@janelane187]

Somethings said...

[@Michele1ELL]

ricky and Steve's reaction to that is one of my favorite parts

[@Leehow80]

Best bit!!

[@mistervanderveer]

Even Karl knew that one was going to be hard to sell..

[@fraserdeavoll5717]

Rachel Martin what time was that?

[@hittman1412]

@@fraserdeavoll5717 kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJbUoJ2QoJh7iZY

[@theryanbard]

Lol 13:54 "That's the thing about this feature, its mental." Karl sums it all up.

[@shrimpanzee001]

"Sorry, is that the news?" "Well how much do you want?!"

[@ashley102390]

“Was he holding his hand of cards with his feet” The greatest line ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@OneManArmy578]

This is clearly the best video on the internet today

[@jamesofab]

"He's called Coco, what I've read about him is - he speaks, highly educated....photographer" Cracks me up every time 33:00

[@stan2703]

When he said "photographer" I almost burst lol!!

[@tonyoliver2167]

Time and time again I see comments about people being reinvigorated by these three and their sense of humour. It's literally gold; THEY are literally GOLD

[@AI-tc8fv]

I swear I have to stop myself from laughing like an idiot when I'm out and about and this starts replaying in my head

[@clavdig]

his little legs

[@davephilpotphilpot9867]

I'm sorry but this by far the funniest thing to have graced the radio or possibly an media ever

[@dude3825]

Gold. Pure gold.

[@technicolorgazette]

Best entertainment on You Tube ever.

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

Seriously is. People don't know what joy they're missing.

[@LifeOfRy]

40:27 hahahaha you can hear Karl smugly reaffirming the story when Steve reads the article about the "monkey working at a hairdresser's". Little flavourings of "there ya go", "mmm" and other gormless, inaudible Manc mutterings.

[@jaycepriteau7477]

"You are an idiot" hahaha this show's so funny....omg...funniest thing ever. "I think you might be borderline retarded" hahaha Im dying. Karl's a great bloke he's just naive but the idea that Ricky, while getting really frustrated just lets this out....gold.

[@Coleman24]

“Well the bit I haven’t told you about…. It’s actually run by a couple of chimps” 😂😂😂

[@simonrider6928]

'This happened on Scum' is probably the funniest thing Karl's ever said. Pure Genius.

[@cytrix8317]

What did we ever do to deserve such golden content

[@iPerryL]

YOU'RE JOKING!!! UNBELIEVABLE IT WAS THE CHIMP ALL ALONG "we never do this again" with a insane laugh 1:41:30

[@Deathball9999]

The amount of embellishment in these is incredible. It reminds me of writing excercises were you start with a line (or headline) and completely make up a story built around it. I'd be interested to see the actual stories and if they are remotely similar.

[@seshadrianantharaman7676]

"fella comes in" and "the monkey starts backin 'out" always get me... someone has to deconstruct these jokes for future generations...

[@jakejones9097]

The bike race. One is the best hahahahahahahahah

[@davidbilla5630]

These three make my life complete every day :)

[@PinPointHumour]

Could listen to these 3 all day, sometimes I do.

[@jameswoolford2698]

Comedy is so important - just laughing at this has helped me so much 💯✔️👌🏻🥂💫😊

[@lukemufc7]

I can’t believe this content is free

[@georgeohunt2263]

I'd pay more to listen to this than I would for Netflix by an absolute mile

[@amitbenhur3722]

My six favourite words: It's that time again innit? Jingle.

[@gotheeeem4]

12:56 The rare times Karl laughs at a joke

[@KoishNoish]

My God, thank you for uploading this holy font of knowledge.

[@ASwedeAbroad]

Thanks a lot for these great uploads, amazing stuff!

[@upthereds9734]

At what point on the video does Ricky say ‘his little legs’ and Karl laughs 😂😂😂 best bit I can’t find it man!

[@DodgyDan4]

Around 1:04:30, enjoy! 😂

[@kingofAwsomness]

@@DodgyDan4 Thanks for that!

[@TheAlexagius]

SO much better than what made it into the cartoon

[@pobber1]

From a rough bit of the island 🤣

[@AndrewTally2]

I have never laughed so much in my life, thank you Karl!

[@Michele1ELL]

"17th century?"

[@15-Peter-20]

Michele Neri haha

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

1970s?

[@legotooms]

Ages ago…

[@kirkywood83]

You are a bloody hero for doing this - thank-you! :-)

[@adampowers6423]

I love how he always names the monkeys, even though it’s never relevant

[@rachaelsas]

Such a great compilation :-) thanks for uploading, really enjoyed this.

[@12jovo]

"Rick... If you were to rub your nipple against his lips, whilst I held him down" "Come of it, I'M NOT DOIIING THISSSSSSS!!!!" hahahahahahahahahahha

[@mrk.dilkington]

"This is what happened in Scum!!"

[@ElvisLivesUpstairs]

31:55 "you're nearly retarded in some aspects" that cracks me up for some reason. 😅

[@robm14]

Good on you for cutting all these!

[@TheAmericanDane]

Listen this or twaddle compilation when I put my head down on my pillow at night! Drift off to sleep smiling!

[@12Rob211]

Still need to listen to this once a month absolute gold!

[@lewismcmurray7089]

"The bit that I haven't told you about....it's actually run by a couple o' chimps."

[@rjellcome]

You alright Kirsty?

[@Goochbot]

+rjellcome DON'T. TALK. SHIT!!!

[@rjellcome]

+Graham Gordon You're gonna love this one, Steve

[@JasonReaganjpr]

A bit of lippy

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

She wasn't a looker anyways...

[@josholeary1796]

1:10:00 en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Pastrana Link to victorian ape woman

[@SixgunJones]

Karl: "Ya know 'ow that kid, went into the woods to live and went all 'airy?" Ricky: "No..." Stephen: "Leave it Rick, we haven't got time!" Ricky: "Of for fu... " 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@Jideaohn]

I’ve listen to a lot of TRGS, and I’ve NEVER heard Karl laugh so much. Somewhere around 1:07:00

[@johngilmore697]

That was Roxanne by The Police or, as they're now known, Sting. A song there about a prostitute. Doesn't give her surname, must give her a call, though the effects of 23 years on the game would not render her pleasurable to mine eye

[@loetzcollector466]

"Mentalists who do websites about themselves every day" 2023: 👀

[@1984ekul]

I've got a recording of Gervais screaming "ooh, chimpanzee that, he's gone and written it down again - CUNT!" - a jingle for Karl's diary on the podcasts. I get odd looks when it goes off.

[@towerofpeace]

Eyes that pop out of their head.... Steve

[@sandwichbreath0]

So they said "Right, we'll make him a Colonel.." XD

[@whatthefuckismyname9173]

I mean, that would explain a lot, honestly.

[@tokumei99]

Headline: Monkey steals bananas from blind beggar Karl’s brain: So there was this monkey who was doing alright for himself, and one day he happened to come along this bloke was was holding some bananas. The monkey said to the bloke “alright? See you’ve got some bananas there.” The bloke goes “yeah I have yeah.” Next thing he knows his hands are empty…the monkey’s only gone and stolen the bananas by keeping him distracted with small talk

[@hublotkingcole683]

DONT. TALK. SHIT.

[@michaelwarburton7786]

Its unbelievably funny, makes me laugh so much

[@Kendo121e]

54:04 not even Karl can resist laughing

[@arisesirgareth]

Supposed to be doing housework, two hours later it still needs to be done. Two hours well spent.

[@KingMuld]

Love it. Even if the podcasts are proven to be scripted considering most of the material was lifted from the XFM show, it's still amazing comedy