Most people are surprised by this truth about psychopaths

Dr. Abigail Marsh is a preeminent psychologist and neuroscientist renowned for her groundbreaking research on empathy, altruism, and psychopathy. She serves as a Professor of Psychology at Georgetown University, where she directs comprehensive studies investigating the neural and psychological mechanisms underpinning human social behavior. Dr. Marsh received her Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Harvard University and has been the recipient of numerous accolades for her significant contributions to the field of psychological science. Her research, which integrates advanced brain imaging techniques with rigorous behavioral experiments, has profoundly enhanced our understanding of the factors that drive empathy and selfless behavior in humans. Dr. Marsh is also the author of the highly regarded book "The Fear Factor," which examines the science of altruism and fear, providing valuable insights into the psychological profiles of altruistic individuals and psychopaths.

[@1Mrdreadful]

As long as one believes that the evil man wears horns, one will not discover an evil man. - Eric Fromm

[@mark-ish]

*also donald trump

[@ldobehardcore]

​@@mark-ishhuh? What do you mean?

[@ldobehardcore]

​@@mark-ishuh what does trump have to do with anything here?

[@NiñoVincenFernandez]

So the quote came from fromm huh

[@christal2641]

Swiss psychiatrist Carl G Jung says that EVERYONE has a Shadow side, a part of themselves they hide, even to themselves, sometimes. The PSYCHOPATH typically claims ALL THE LIGHT FOR THEMSELVES, and cast the deepest of Shadows onto others. Watch out for the people who claim perfection or saintliness. Their warmth is a fraud.

[@kellymcgowan3547]

The best defense against psychopaths is to judge people by what they DO not what they say.

[@sarah64725]

One can easily be fooled though. Even psychopaths give money to charity. However, if they’re being grandiose about it, this is a clear warning sign (as well as every other nice thing that they might do - it’s the motives behind it that count).

[@thickmint5875]

it's definitely not this simple lol. plus what people say IS what they do. like, lying IS an action, and so is gaslighting etc etc, even though they're verbal

[@babybirdhome]

You have to be careful about this though - you have to pay attention to what they don’t pay attention to. They’ll take you on the most wonderful date you’ve ever been on and be super polite to the waiter, but when they step away from the table to use the restroom and someone walks in front of them after they’ve left the table, how do they treat that person? You have to look at what they do when no one they want to get something from is watching - including you. The psychopaths I’ve worked with in the past, most of them you’d never guess were psychopaths because they almost never miss a beat and never let their guard down. The only things you’d notice - if you weren’t a target - would be supernaturally rapid swings from one extreme to the opposite extreme in reaction or behavior, or no swing in emotions at all in a situation where there would always be at least some change, even if it weren’t an expected change. Normal people do not swing instantly from the most polite, accommodating person you’ve ever met to soaked in vitriol when reacting to some major offense and nearly instantly back to that super polite, accomodating person again. Normal people have genuine emotions that can’t change that rapidly because they’re based on chemicals making their way through the brain. Psychopaths are often just mimicking those same emotions, so their changes don’t follow the patterns of natural emotional changes. Many of them can also just turn off their emotional reactions almost completely when they want to. One of the psychopaths I worked with didn’t seem like a psychopath until someone was telling a joke. Normally he’d react to it like everyone else, and you’d never know it was fake. But there were times when he would just switch it off like a light switch and instead of laughing or even reacting _in any way at all,_ he would just remain 100% completely, unnervingly blank and stare at you with cold, empty eyes for as long as he wanted to. It would make you extremely uncomfortable because you couldn’t tell whether he didn’t find the joke funny, or he was “playing with you” by not reacting to your joke, or was about to grab a knife and filet you like a fish monger about to sell the day’s catch. And at the end of it, he would never relieve that tension, either. He would just go straight back to exactly the way he was as if no joke had ever been told and you had just stepped outside of time itself while telling it.

[@janetomes]

​@@babybirdhomevery interesting life experience

[@multiskype]

not just psychopaths, but anyone

[@martakrasuska2483]

If I could scream it from the rooftops or have it printed across all billbords everywhere: true evil is never going to tell you that its evil and the other thing is that what makes evil so dangerous is that most evil people will have mastered the ability to pretend vulnerability and empathy and any type of sensitivity.

[@justacoginthefkery]

Exactly! This is why it drives me nuts to hear ppl say "I can spot narcissists/ psychos from a mile away." It's absurdly ironic because most toxic & dark triad types spend their entire lives learning how to hide their true nature & blend in. You're not supposed to be able to detect them quickly. They won't show their true nature until you're either enmeshed with them & they don't feel like hiding it anymore or they've decided to demonize & destroy you.

[@anotherarmchairhistorian2831]

Yep! From my experiences evil people tend to be overwhelmingly charming on the surface. Evil often comes as an angel of light.

[@JustaLocalLLC]

Yes, but some are just masking to get by in life and mean you no harm.

[@RecreationalUseOnly]

@@anotherarmchairhistorian2831yup, prime example is Barack Obama

[@RecreationalUseOnly]

@@ForgotMyDemonName it’s fact. Covert Narcissist on a good day. You should learn more about Cluster B psychology especially ASPD before calling someone a sheep. You’re probably wearing a mask right now.

[@schwarzwolfram7925]

It's also important to remember that there is a difference between being nice and being kind.

[@ExoticalT369]

Yep!

[@littlesmith5005]

What's the difference 🤔

[@schwarzwolfram7925]

@@littlesmith5005 Kind is what you do. Nice is how you do it. If you tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip, that is being nice, but not kind. We call those people diplomats.

[@ladyanders9395]

Kind people will tell you the hard truth: Nice people will tell you the sweetest lie.

[@tastx3142]

I had a coworker who told me that others would get upset when boundaries were crossed because they equated kindness with weakness and tried to take advantage of that. I had one coworker who was nice but definitely was a charming manipulator, and also a narcissist.

[@HocusPocus6969]

I wouldn’t necessarily use the word ‘nice’, I would use the word ‘charming’, because psychopaths are always manipulating.

[@nickieglazer33]

Nice not the same as good. 'Nice' is spot on, especially when one has had experience with someone with NPD.

[@woutertron]

The lady's whole point was that stereotypes mostly aren't true. A psychopath can act in a kind manner, indistinguishable from "true" kindness. You simply cannot know that they're "always manipulating". Unless you mean in the sense that we _all_ have an ulterior motive when we're kind, i.e. we want to be liked/respected/admired.

[@Teriyaki-vj8ny]

Yes 👍

[@chiaraA.]

Nice is the exact right thing - and when you experience meeting and getting to know someone who is really nice but then you experience their lack of empathy and other ways that make us human, but they lack - it becomes glaring and for me, ultimately one of the scariest things I've experienced as my interaction was in a romantic relationship setting - unnerving ultimately

[@QwertyCaesar]

I wouldn't say that they're always manipulating people. Many do, yes, but many don't. The idea that they're all very intelligent or skilled manipulators is movie magic. Many aren't particularly intelligent and many are very straightforward and brutish - for the same reasons as others. Manipulating others requires a certain level of emotional intelligence, it requires patience, it requires energy from the manipulator that they feel they may not want to use on others. They can be a rude customer at a restaurant for the reason anyone else is except later they won't make an excuse for themselves why they were needlessly unkind to an employee just doing their job.

[@lianav707]

I never think about make believe villains when I think of bad people in real life. What I think of is someone who is nice to my face and stabbing me in the back. Someone slandering me. Someone going out of their way to be unkind.

[@Mediocre00Rebel]

I can't wrap my head around those people

[@suramyasingh4529]

Yes this, someone who is extremely good and seemingly caring to me yet they are back stabbing at the back

[@MoonRaven7777]

That’s just sloppy work. The best makes sure no one suspects them

[@christianeaster2776]

The BTK killer in Kansas was a deacon in his church, had three daughters, and was a boy scout master. He bound, tortured and then killed over a dozen people. One psychologist was doing research on psychopaths by trying to detect them by doing brain scans. They somehow were short on normal scans to compare the the ones of the psychopaths. He and a few of his colleagues had scans done to be used as the normals. As it was a double blind study, no one was to know whose scan belonged to who. He was going through what was supposed to be the normal scans when he came across one which as he called "one of the worst he he had seen." He started accusing the others of having slipped a psychopath's into the pile. To find out who it was, he pulled the sticker off covering the name. It was his scan. Even though he had gone through school and gotten a doctorate in psychology, he had no idea he himself was a psychopath. In talking to the people he worked with, he found out that they all realized something wasn't right with him and were not surprised at his scan results. This shows that psychopaths can hide even from themselves. Surveys of people who act normal but are psychopaths show that many business executives are actually psychopathic.

[@marypierson9825]

Very interesting

[@MsVakong]

I remember hearing about that researcher as well. I believe he said his wife pointed out that he'd never let his grandkids win a race against him, even though they were small children. He just had to win. He didn't care that it made them sad.

[@srodriguez721]

Very interesting.

[@funeats8201]

Yes, Corbett Report made a documentary about this iirc. Corporations themselves behave as psychopathic entities. Profit always comes before ethics and that’s why we are brainwashed with slogans like “safe and effective”. Our environment/health is being destroyed with forever chemicals, RoundUp, GMOs and all the rest of the toxic corporate products. The corporations are essentially tentacles of the government now, which is the ultimate psychopathic entity. The merging of state and corporate power is destroying America.

[@Jennyandersonjenny]

Interesting, I wonder if the brain scans could tell who was going to do bad stuff though.

[@jasonworingen8431]

The first sign of a psychopath is their strong need for their own personal boundaries but the excessive desire to break down boundaries. It's part of the divide and conquer phase, followed by control, then destruction, then the discard.

[@MTS-t9n]

Yup! They want to pry into the very personal lives of their victims, their sex lives, their childhood, their private places. Meanwhile, they don’t want anyone to know ANYTHING about them, their employment, their education. Even basic details.

[@jasonworingen8431]

@@MTS-t9n Very True!

[@christinevandenberg8]

Point on!

[@Byorin]

Umm, you described A LOT of modern women. They have a long list of expectations they have for their spouse or a potential date even, as well as boundaries they claim they won’t cross (I’m not that type of girl), but get offended at those people having the slightest expectations and boundaries of their own.

[@jasonworingen8431]

@@CG-wl3cq I suggest that you educate yourself regarding the multiple ways a psychopath comes into being. What is your evidence supporting that men are more psychopathic? One of the ways a woman clearly fits the definition of NPD, a category under psychopathy, is being raised to believe per societal norms is that she is a princess and all estranged men are her servants to provide for her lifestyle as it is somehow their reason for existing. This programming is groomed by her own mother. Delusions of grandeur and prostitution.

[@OscarJAcosta]

They accuse you of being unkind towards them when you set normal boundaries to their overreaching behaviour doubling down on how nice they’ve been to you, and how you ignore their feelings. These while working on making you feel guiltyr

[@MikeS-hs4vh]

I've often found that people who are kind and normal are often kind and normal.

[@desireandfire]

Bingo. If you just use good judgement, then you will see who's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

[@ElaineAnderson-y9r]

Yep I believe part of the dark triads bag of tricks is to try and make us believe that everyone thinks like they do.

[@WisdomWeaverBitcoinBruv]

"They're lovely right up until they get you in the back of their van." Saying the quiet bit out loud.

[@ritarevell7195]

👍

[@infiniteinspiration1628]

😮😮😮

[@EamonWill]

As if psychopaths are always murders, lol. You're still missing the point.

[@WisdomWeaverBitcoinBruv]

@@EamonWill Spoken like a true psychopath. You'll not get me in yer van, Eamon!!!

[@EamonWill]

@@WisdomWeaverBitcoinBruv 🤣🤣🤣 Dang, I better go hunt somewhere else!

[@silversmoke6]

I'd actually say voldemort was extremely charming in his Tom Riddle days. He was very popular, brilliant, handsome and was thought to be in line for a career in politics.

[@ZyravsZombies]

He literally got highly classified information from Slughorn about the horcruxes by just being charming, it was his biggest tool rising to power.

[@silversmoke6]

@ZyravsZombies exactly. It's why such a big deal is made out of Dumbledore being the only one to see through him.

[@stephensharp3033]

The Joker is a fictional character.

[@VladMcCain]

Wait your saying politicians aren't pathological?

[@silversmoke6]

@@VladMcCain what

[@JackOusley]

I struggle with social signals and there are def folks I work with that manipulate by being nice. One of my old bosses would always shower me in praise before asking for a big favor or dumping some extra work on me. It took me a while to recognize it, and now I’m suspicious of people that are too nice or friendly.

[@TheLoneMitten]

Oh I'm fucked. I've been isolated with a neurological illness for 3 years and my social skills sucked before that even. But I'm very friendly and it does turn people off. I'm starting to learn signals a lot better though.

[@JackOusley]

@@TheLoneMitten hang in there! Hopefully we can find some workarounds or hacks that help us cope.

[@elizabeth-y6e6f]

yea this has always been really difficult for me. i’m a naturally nice and caring person and sort of expect that from other people (golden rule bullshit, ya know?) so in the past few years i’ve let more “nice” people in and ooooooh boy i’ve never been in so much pain. i’ve gotten to a point where i do not trust nice people. i’m starting to gravitate towards more bitter and outwardly angry people, because i see that as honesty now. i now avoid “nice” people and instead hope to find a common ground with other bitter folks. it’s…. confusing haha

[@kerrieannebaker8595]

@@elizabeth-y6e6f yes, truth is in their actions, not their words

[@leviashanken2506]

Are we supposed to distrust all very nice people now, including our very own nice selves?

[@SOH-bl4mr]

My old boss, may his soul rest in peace, was the kindest, nicest man ever. We had a group of horrible people threaten us and when he came back, he disposed of them. He said that they did not care about us or whether or not they wanted to conduct ,,business'' because they were psychopaths. Then my amazing boss, again, bless his soul, Mr Gus Fring came by and took care of them. He even gave us a raise and a bonus for acting accordingly. So sometimes yes, psychpaths are difficult to spot but they have boundaries they want to destroy from others. Im just very sad Mr Gus Fring passed away in the hospital. Wouldnt have been here without him.

[@deedee7780]

LOL :)

[@SOH-bl4mr]

@deedee7780 Lyle is that you? Go back to cooking ,,Chicken'' just because we have a new manager doesn't mean you can screw around. And this time...don't forget the secret powder...

[@nikitatavernitilitvynova]

My mom is a narcissist and we all know. But what left me in denial for so long was her love. She clearly loves me. She knows how to be so good and kind. And that lead me to think that she probably doesn't understand or know the hurt that she gives me at times. At the same time deep down I believe she does know. There's no way she doesn't know she's emotionally manipulating me. She knows exactly what she's saying. A classic sentence of her is: "But that's not what I meant. You mistook it as always." like the time she told me she didn't kick me out on the streets or mean to kick me out when she told me to go live with my dad and that I wasn't welcome here. Right... That's not what you said but forbidding me to stay here is kicking out. Even if you're pawning me off to another safe house. You're still kicking me out of the home I live in.

[@willbephore3086]

Damn. That will mess with your head. It sounds like you're dealing with it all head on now, good on ya. It's not easy work.

[@Pandalou89]

Yeah, she’s gaslighting you. Look up examples Of Gaslighting and also “grey rock method”, that might make things a little easier on you

[@DALDO135]

I understand, Both my parents were only children. And BOTH WERE NARCISSISTIC...The criticism was beyond belief...BEST OF LUCK...

[@Pandalou89]

@@DALDO135 only children aren’t automatically narcissistic, it’s more often early childhood experiences with abuse and gaslighting that create a narcissist. That doesn’t make it okay of course

[@carolyntalbot947]

I’m so sorry. I have a lot of abuse and narcissism in my family too, but the hardest thing in the world is to reconcile having a narcissistic mother. It is such a betrayal of everything a mother is supposed to be, and usually you can’t simply cut ties like the literature advises. You will probably deal with a lot of these people because you’ve been raised to “supply” or caretake them. I wish you well my friend, with time I hope you develop strong boundaries for yourself and find the love we all need and are looking for. ❤

[@FaithFashionFinances]

Absolutely, when I started getting rid of toxic people I learned who cared about me and who didn’t.

[@tiktoksbytopic1897]

The mirror is yours

[@aijazsiddique8713]

You will be surprised to find that there are very few people who actually do care.

[@itsasecret2298]

My youngest sister is a psychopath. For years I've watched the same pattern where I warn people about her, and I tell them some of the things she's done. Then after meeting her they usually get mad at me because "she's really nice" and she always invents some new horrible stories about our family and mistreats her and how awful we are to her. Then typically 3-6 months down the line she steals money from them, or medication, starts spreading lies about them, intentionally destroys something sentimental to, or she SA's them. Then they finally get the picture. Most people are so good and decent that it's almost impossible for them to understand that someone funny and likeable and sweet, that appears to genuinely care about them and understand them can actually be straight up evil.

[@Rancanfish]

OMG, I think you must be my sibling. Sis sucks.

[@Space_Princess]

It's quite normal around the 3 month mark of knowing someone they start to show their true colours

[@tiktoksbytopic1897]

The mirror is yours

[@alexlilano1931]

Sounds like my ex wife except the sweet likable part. My ex wife was just quiet and played victim. She turned the table on me and start playing victim to another guy. I was In hell at the time and was glad she went to another guy. Made the divorce a lot easier. I heard she is doing a lot worse than from my sister. Also people who like quiet dont actually like the quiet person. Quiet doesnt equal gental and kind. They just not showing anything. They just projecting a lot of goodness that these quiet people dont usually have. I'm talking from experience.

[@ciciciciciclala]

Hope you can ignore those foolish replies. It takes a lot of strength to be able to hold a family member accountable for the horrible crimes they've done. I'm sorry you have to live with this truth. I think it's brave you warn the people that come in contact with her, despite the backlash you yourself get from it.

[@2bluemoonalpha]

Yup. Never trust charm. It’s a tool not a personality trait.

[@matthewphilip1977]

How would you define charm?

[@_flyingspaghettimonster_]

Got it. I looked up the opposite of charm. Now I'm only going to trust repulsive and unpleasant people.

[@matthewphilip1977]

@@_flyingspaghettimonster_ FSM. That didn't age well, lol.

[@_flyingspaghettimonster_]

@@matthewphilip1977 out of morbid curiosity, in what way did whatever you're talking about not age well?

[@mjb405]

​@@matthewphilip1977 it's a 4 day old comment, it's hasn't "aged" at all

[@gaylechristensen6285]

True psychotics are very rare. My ex husband was profiled by a very renowned psychiatrist. He was diagnosed as such. The report said that his lack of consciousness and empathy meant that he could wipe out an entire family, and then sit down right after and enjoy a meal. He was really, really frightening and abusive.

[@MSheen-ef3ly]

I had already been in sales for 10 years at this point and was top 3 consistanly out of 13 total sales people where i was working. I was looking for a job change and applied for a sales position where my friend worked. They had me take a test as part of the process. One of the questions was if another sales person wasnt able to get the sale done, would i step in to make the sale. The answers were: yes and demand full credit; yes and demand partial credit; no but call the customer later and steal the sale; no, taking someone elses sale isnt right. I answered the last one. I said something to a friend of mine later who was a salesperson at that same company. I told her how i thought that question was strange. She asked what i answered and i told her. She said "oh, they wont be calling you back, they wanted you to answer A." The job was encouraging back stabbing behavior in their sales force and if you didnt want to kill your competition, they didnt want you

[@Fallentree-hx7su]

Hannibal wasn’t obviously deranged in the series. It’s the opposite actually, he was quite charismatic

[@canorhan2903]

She’s probably referring to Tony Hopkins

[@Fallentree-hx7su]

@@canorhan2903 yeah I know. He played that role very well

[@seitanbeatsyourmeat666]

Like a psychopath

[@Aussie0912]

Hopkins performance is mesmerizing. Which is something a true psychopath is commonly capable of. You don’t know why, but something in the way they present themselves captures you. Like prey going limp in a predators jaws. It’s honestly so disturbing.

[@jenniferallen8699]

And he was free for a very long time until he got caught. Until then, he was extremely charming, had friends, and people love to come to his house for his extravagant dinner parties.

[@dneary]

One of the best psychopaths in movies and TV is Villanelle from Killing Eve. She is charming and funny, but does not form any connection to other people or show empathy with their suffering.

[@Cloudyconfusion]

Wow this is a spot on one! I loved her in that show too! And she’s so capable of being whatever she needed to be in any given moment, even if that was a funny and nice person

[@jones2277]

But she formed a connection with Eve.

[@YukonFox1972]

@@jones2277Obsession and connection are not the same thing.

[@cosmo588]

Such an underrated show.

[@tribequest9]

What? She killed that boy because he said he wanted to die…..how is that not empathy?

[@philipstrachan6212]

The lack of empathy also makes them appear quite superficial. The most blatant feature IMHO..

[@perry5509]

It’s so easy to call someone a psychopath or a narcissist but I don’t see how you can actually know if that’s what they are. I’ve had disagreements with many people who lack the emotion I expect of them in that situation. But are they psychopaths? No, usually they’re just stubborn

[@AC-ih7jc]

Not all psychopaths are murderers. Or even go out of their way to get you. However, if you DO get in their way, they have no qualms about getting you out of their way in a cold-heartedly efficient manner, with absolutely no guilt pangs to slow them down. Don't think of them as being filled with evil and hatred. Think of them of being utterly devoid of basic human compassion. I am convinced one of my classmates in grad school was a psychopath. The phrase, '...but you just can't treat people that way..." was answered with a blank look, and, "Why not?" And she'd say it with true puzzlement, as if as smart as she was, she honestly could not comprehend that people weren't there to be used.

[@netasedlak9454]

Is this why the same sister who almost choked me to death when I was in first grade made counselor of the year, when she was working for the public school system, and is now a Methodist preacher? Believe me, the choking incident wasn't the only thing that happened. I learned how to slip out of an attempted hammerlock, never to tell on her, or else, and, as an adult, to avoid all conversation with her, in order to prevent stories from circulating about nasty things that I said, which I had neither said, nor implied! She damaged my right shoulder, for life, when I was in second grade. No, I didn't tell. I was afraid she would kill me. Life is rough. Hold on to the people who are good to you, let go of the ones who don't have that capability.

[@BenjaminPenniman]

They often come across as someone wanting to help you. I've found that in my own life.

[@TimeSurfer206]

Ever run into someone who loves helping people so much, that they're desperate to find a way to help you? I mean, BEGGING you to let you help them, somehow. Scary, aren't they?

[@BenjaminPenniman]

@@TimeSurfer206 yes very scary. I've dealt with these types in my life.

[@TimeSurfer206]

@@LM-uq9nv Yup. They have "White Knight " complex. And are also VERY eager to slap the sense of obligation on.

[@humptydumpty-m8u]

I am grateful to have met some persons who are willing to help. Blessed are these people.🙏🏻😇

[@tw8464]

So do "normal" people. How do you know which is a real psychopath right off the bat?

[@Sarara-mv5sx]

I wonder if I'm like this sometimes. I grew in an environment where you were punished for being honest. The adults didn't want any kid calling out their hypocrisy and denial. Their coldness, neglect, possessiveness and manipulation would have made me completely crazy if I had not turn it around and built an emotional wall around myself. Then you grow up and none of your emotional needs are appropriate for adult life. No one can meet them because they aren't your parents - they're your peers. And what you really want is that bond with a parent, or adult, or authority figure that you can trust - but you're the adult you have to be able to depend on and trust. The fact is, if you do not have the chance to develop that side of your human nature it's stunted. Psychopathy could very well simply be a defense against overwhelming emotional insult and assault AND a way of coping, because you just end up mimicing people around you in order to "pass" as a normal person. I'm not exploitative is the thing and I generally just try to avoid people.

[@keysharamos-qf8pt]

Yes

[@TheLoneMitten]

Yeah, it's hard to exploit people when you don't spend time with them. We sound a lot a like and I also avoid most people.

[@nene2969]

I also grew up like this. When I do tests online I usually score somewhere bethween 50 and 65% for psychopathy. Whereas I believe you can have psychopathic traits, I don't think the way you were raised can make you one completely. Kinda like personality disorders such as narcissm have traits we can all have. I do worry about being a psycopath now and then but I do feel I genuinely care about people I like. I was a charming kid who always got their way outside of home cause I learned very early the way to survive home was through manipulation. I still sometimes have to conciously tone it down when interacting with people but I try. The traumas we got unfortunately aren't our parents responsibility once we become adults. I still sometimes feel my emotional state is somewhere bethween a child and a teenager. Therapy helps, though! Good luck stranger, we got this! 🎉❤

[@Sarara-mv5sx]

@d0v3Tai1 Absolutely - the emotional manipulation and gasligting, the carot instead of the stick - same need for control, same dehumanization.

[@Sarara-mv5sx]

@@nene2969 Thank you so much for this comment. It's so validating to read it - all the comments.

[@muddiipawss]

The charm is very true. In the case of Voldemort, before he showed his true colors, he ‘befriended’ an old women. He was very charming and friendly to her. Once he got what he wanted out of her, she was discarded. It’s scary that there’s people out there that can actually be like that

[@LabTech41]

Now you understand how a lot of people in charge, the very upper echelon of society, can do what they do, and still lie with a straight face to you. You're judging them on your terms, not theirs.

[@massimookissed1023]

Jeffrey Dahmer was apparently charming. He was a psychopath, but he was also smart enough to know how to act normal.

[@danharris3791]

I recall reading of him convincing 2 policemen that the screaming, crying Vietnamese man who fled his home was just a dramatic lover. The policemen just left, and Dahmer turned him into yet another victim.

[@dlibby4979]

@@danharris3791 I am confused by Dahmer. He killed but wanted to keep them, so they wouldnt leave him. Now a true psychopath wants nothing to do with his victims after killing them. So Im not sure exactly what his thing was.

[@jasminebarratt1809]

@@dlibby4979 He was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), schizotypal personality disorder (StPD), and a psychotic disorder. I guess not all serial killers are psychopaths. And not all psychopaths are serial killers.

[@jones2277]

@@danharris3791the police reacted that way because of racism and homophobia, not because Dahmer was especially gifted

[@christal2641]

​@@jasminebarratt1809Most successful psychopaths make a "killing" in the Market. They tend to be cold-blooded and methodical.

[@gh-ps5es]

This is why I enjoy Mads Mikkelsen's interpretation of Hannibal Lecter the most. He blends into the background at will and is so nice to people, so kind and accomodating, and then when he manipulates people, the contrast makes him feel so dangerous and audacious.

[@CarolAnn-gh9fl]

I’ve never felt love or been in love. I care about my parents, my siblings and the next generation. There was no abuse of any kind in my home. My parents adore one other and us. Everyone is healthy productive and supportive. But I can’t acknowledge or reciprocate.

[@jaclynzinck4241]

That’s ok. As long as you are watching yourself and keeping track of your symptoms, I believe that you and others like you can lead healthy productive lives. Just always remember that your actions have consequences, and act accordingly. You don’t have to be the most loving person in the world, but simply being decent to others and watching your impulses is the best way to keep yourself out of trouble. Take care

[@StaceyEm]

I'm acutely aware when people are charming to lower my guard in order to manipulate me. I sense it somehow. I always find myself drifting away from them when they try to engage with me. It's like I didn't trust overly nice or overly quizzical strangers. It's helped me a lot while working with the public because a lot of people are just so into themselves and their needs that when they are abusive, I can mostly shrug it off.

[@FoodNerds]

I’ve been told that I’m too kind especially by family and friends and I’ve been accused of being a sociopath by an ex boyfriend because he said that my niceness is just manipulation. That hurt my feelings. I was shocked by that too. I like to make people happy, not at my own expense. I will stand up to others.

[@tomkoziol141]

Do you play the martyr if they don't reciprocate? Guilt them into doing things?

[@desireemcnicol6155]

When you really love someone, sometimes it is at your own expense. You would do anything to protect them. Sometimes being super nice is about caring for your own image.

[@softreyna]

This sounds kinda like me. I genuinely care about how people feel, but don't really care about social connections the way they're supposed to work. Like, I tell my family I love them a lot, but only because I know those words in that order make them happy and comfortable. It doesn't mean anything to me, and I don't actually value them more highly than strangers. That might make me a sociopath, but I'm pretty sure sociopath is more of an insult than a diagnosis lol

[@FoodNerds]

@@tomkoziol141 Great question. I accept people’s boundaries but I also hold them accountable for bad behavior. I am up front about my desires. If they say no then I accept that boundary. An example would be: I tell my boyfriend hey I want pizza for date night from our favorite pizza place. he agrees but doesn’t want to drive to the pizza place because they don’t deliver then I just accept that. I do not drive due to a medical condition. Then he suggests that I make pizza. I can make pizza crust. I explain that while I can make pizza crust in an hour and a half. I do not have the toppings for pizza unless he wants something else perhaps as broccoli and cheddar pizza. Then he complains that I should have all the ingredients for pizza all the time. I explain that if he had requested it before I would have bought them. I will ask so what do you want? He will respond with one of these responses:1. Pizza, 2. I don’t know 3. Nothing now. That is when I will begin to make something else for myself. Then he will say “I’ll go the pizza. “ Or when he says that he “doesn’t want to drive to get the pizza from our favorite pizza place” which is a fantastic mom and pop place not a big chain but we live outside of their delivery zone. He complains and I do too. Then I say something such as “Well, unfortunately I can’t drive, but if you want that fantastic pizza , you will have to drive over there. But I will make dessert for you want.” So I don’t think I’m guilting him into action but I am reiterating the facts that his actions or lack there of result in not getting something he wants. Maybe I’m letting him guilt me. But I have a limit of what I will accept from people. Again I do hold people accountable for their bad behavior but I try not to blame others for not getting what I want, unless it’s a breech of contract, such as if I exchange money and I do not receive my product or a refund. Does this answer your question?

[@vkrgfan]

Just to clarify there are a lot of people that genuinely do not give a flying f about you as a stranger. They will drive by and wouldn’t stop to help if they see you laying on the ground, that doesn’t automatically equates to psychopathy, this could be cowardice. There are a lot of psychopaths in a various professions, surgeons, first responders etc. they do jobs that Empaths would not be able to do. They catch predators humans also, they are in law enforcement. So not all psychopaths live parasitic lifestyle, it largely depends on their upbringing and what they were thought growing up.

[@shirleywright8759]

So very true! It's very interesting.

[@shirleywright8759]

almost Goes to show that we need some of these people. I think everyone assumes that they are all bad but they are not. I think a lot of us have a little bit of psychopathic tendencies. And it's okay.

[@transformationtimenow3321]

@@shirleywright8759 My father and another family member were psychopaths and if you had any real long-term personal experience with one of them and knew the way they can destroy another person's life you wouldn't make such superficial and cavalier statements.

[@m1ss-n0mer]

I was looking for this! The top few comments keep talking about how ‘true evil never says it’s evil’ and stuff. While that is true, I don’t think a mental disorder makes a person inherently evil. Sure, most psychopaths, narcissists, etc. just go through life being total jerks, but there are plenty who try their best to minimise their toxic traits. Even if they can’t gain empathy, that doesn’t mean they can’t try their best to remind themselves that, logically, they enjoy spending time with X person. Cutting X out over something small or yelling at them could drive them away and then the psychopath can’t simply appreciate occasionally meeting up. Also, people will tell me that saying this is super offensive because they’ve been abused. I’m really sorry that happened, and you don’t owe it to the person to forgive them or minimise their actions, not even because of a disorder, but you can’t speak for a whole community based off of the few people you know. Plus, don’t assume there aren’t people in your life with the same disorder who are far more well-adjusted and who try their best, whose diagnosis/symptoms you just don’t know about because they’re trying to deal with and minimise them. To reiterate, plenty won’t try to do anything to improve themselves, but you can’t completely generalise because there are always exceptions.

[@vkrgfan]

@@transformationtimenow3321 If the person grew up in an abusive environment and was abusive to you then it's a completely different story, but again even non -psychopaths can become abusive, some people develop abusive tendencies as a way of coping with frustrations because that's all they sew growing up. Again, not excusing abusers by any means just explaining why a psychopath or neurotypical can become abusive. And it doesn't mean that you should stay with them and tolerate it, kids can not leave their abusive parents, they have nowhere to go that's the saddest part that our society doesn't protect its' children. And no, not all psychopaths are abusers, they maybe not nurturing and sensitive because they can not feel but that doesn't mean that all of them develop abusive behaviours, psychopathy exists on the spectrum also like any other neurodivergence.

[@shesakillerqueeeen]

My ex is 100 percent a psychopath. When someone can look you in the eyes and tell you in intricate detail how they would end the life of their childs mother, and have 0 expression on their face while doing so is absolutely terrifying. I have never been so happy to have been cheated on in all my life. Made that decision a no brainer

[@susanbacon9666]

Wow, exactly what my ex did. Been gone from him for 22 years now. Lucky to be alive

[@christianeaster2776]

That was potentially a very dangerous thing to do. It could have caused the person to break through their facade and kill you without a second thought.

[@shesakillerqueeeen]

@christianeaster2776 what exactly was a dangerous thing to do? Make this comment?

[@christianeaster2776]

@@shesakillerqueeeen To cheat on a psychopath. What if the person found out and he/she lost it? They could end up killing ex. Get away from the psycho first.

[@susanbacon9666]

@@shesakillerqueeeen he cheated in her, the psychic cheated not her

[@PkTwothousand]

I am a psychopath- it’s not that I don’t care about other people so much as my assumption is everyone only cares about themselves and that life is a competition, meaning others will take from you if you let them

[@gaby9009]

ever read Crime and Punishment? Try it. You'll like it.

[@shirleywright8759]

You're right. I agree with you 💯 percent. It's just that people's egos are so elevated that they refused to believe this about themselves.

[@Wild4lon]

I don't think like this and I won't just take from people. The thing I want most is to help the poor and solve climate change. To me, what you've just stated is the sign of a terrible person. If that precludes 30% of the population from even being considered decent, so be it.

[@desireemcnicol6155]

Psychopathy is a faulty brain structure incapable of certain functions, but your describing it like its a philosophy. How were you diagnosed.?

[@Mjbeswick]

Displays of empathy are often reciprocated. When you show empathy towards others, they are more likely to respond with empathy and understanding in return. The flip side of this is that if you do not display empathy, then others I'm unlikely to show it towards you.

[@JDoe001]

I’m afraid that’s why sometimes a lot of people are leery of kind of people. They think they are manipulative. Which is sad.

[@BmaGrl]

Psychopaths are EXTREMELY charming & likable because they are using your desire to please them that they have engendered in you to get what they want. They have a super high IQ AND EQ, & they TRULY understand the core of the saying, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." As long as you are compliant, you may never see the true depths of their anger. But, defy them, & they will turn on a dime!

[@Nola50]

Not all psychopaths are intelligent. None the less super intelligent. Trust me there are dumb as dirt one's out there too

[@mariam_4me]

they don't have high iq, that's rubbish

[@steveschmitt5192]

Being a people pleaser is great normally the people who are drawn to you are narcissistic personalities, so its kinda like a radar of who to watch for

[@netherlingfreak]

I strongly disagree with this. I believe people pleasing can be attractive to anyone because we literally harm ourselves and use our own kind of manipulation tactics in pursuit of being likable so we can feel safe, however conscious we are of it. I mean our whole thing is getting people to like us. So as a result, people generally like us. Not just narcissists

[@steveschmitt5192]

@netherlingfreak your right I actually got a diagnosis of autism so my apologies thanks you for the information

[@netherlingfreak]

@@steveschmitt5192 oh yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if autism can sometimes bring higher risk for being preyed on. I think some autistic people are really good at detecting BS and others are not unfortunately, like me. It’s good that you stay alert and informed then!

[@steveschmitt5192]

@@netherlingfreak if it's causing you problems, The channel Medcircle is about narcissistic personalities and how to detect them in your life she's very accurate and a licensed professional it really helped me deal with the trauma of it hope it helps and if not it's here for others

[@evasirova3985]

​@@netherlingfreakit's usually narcissists though, who people pleasers attract, because people pleasers have narcissistic traits too (there are multiple types of narcissism) which is draining for neurotypical people. You refer to yourself as one of people pleasers so I don't think you can do an objective observation, no offense.

[@sihr07]

The psychos I’ve encountered (only a couple thanks god!) were often described as ‘super nice’ by most, until they snapped.

[@TheLoneMitten]

They often punch down. They don't want to be outed by a powerful person.

[@Hale8R]

@@TheLoneMittenyou are 💯 on point!

[@jn8922]

Psychopathy needs a proper diagnosis...it could be so many other mental conditions that have similar traits. I met an unbelievably psycho ex boss... He was so abusive and insane, like a 60 year old toddler having an epic rant... Apparently he had Asperges syndrome.

[@tw8464]

Yeah I think everyone actually has some psychopath similar behaviors the psychopaths are just completely dead stone cold and that is all they have ever done and can ever do because that's literally all their brain is

[@jaclynzinck4241]

As an autistic person myself I have this to say- most autistic people are traumatized. Doesn’t excuse abusive behavior but most of us, especially if we were undiagnosed or from a time where autism is less understood, will inevitably suffer trauma. And trauma is one of the leading causes of ASPD. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with him though, I wish you love and healing 🙌🏻🙏🏻💕

[@angel794]

You can have multiple diagnoses, of course. Also, there are various combinations of genetic and non-genetic disorders that are not mutually exclusive.

[@jrt4jc]

It’s called antisocial personality disorder

[@asu-chan1812]

ive been on a denial streak of 3 years of not accepting im a psycopath, im kind to others, i feel love towards some people, i prefer not to lie to people and stuff but you honestly destroyed all my self respect here

[@BackYardScience2000]

You might also go through life knowing a psychopath and never know it. They know they have to "be normal" to preserve their own lives, so it's in their best interests to try and seem as normal as possible, all while manipulating everyone around them.

[@MiraJune742]

Psychopaths and sociopaths, from my experience (I was married to one) don't view people as, well, people. Not the way you and I do. They view them like pets. They are capable of loving people, but only to the extent that someone loves their dog (i.e. they are the owner and you are their pet) and they will "train" you accordingly. You do something they don't like? Punishment time, (whatever punishment triggers you the most. Could be neglect, ignoring you, blowing up at you, taking money away from you, etc. They'll study you and figure out what makes you tick. You got abandoned and ignored as a child? Then every time you do something they DON'T like, they'll ignore you and trigger that pain in you) you do something they DO like? Time to give you a treat! (Whatever you trigger is, they'll do the opposite!) You start asking questions and digging for answers they don't wanna give? Time for punishment. You shut up, stop asking and apologize for even bringing it up? They'll give you your reward! They truly see you as a dog that they are training to sit, lay down, and roll over. At the end of the day, they've trained you to be their pet. And they TRULY don't see anything wrong with that dynamic, and they TRULY think thats "Love" . They do not view you as an equal. They can't understand that concept.

[@amyrenee1361]

Positive reinforcement and punishment are normal in our society, from school to daycares, to parent/child relationships. I'm sorry, but it sounds to me like you are not only overanalyzing your ex, but you may have some personal issues with respecting the boundaries of others and taking responsibility for your self. Furthermore, many people love their pets, and feeling responsible for the care of another is actually quite normal.

[@AirLionTurtle]

When, and only when, you not only meet but get very close to a psychopath, will you realize this is a very accurate pattern. At the end of the day, what they really love is the control, far more than the person themselves. But for a lot of people, the pattern leads to the "treats/rewards" start to go away, as your behavior and sacrifices become more expectation rather than shown appreciation. And it becomes punishment exclusively at anything they see as out of line. Fortunately, this is where a lot of victims start to catch on and can finally see the non- remorseful cruelty enough to realize something is actually wrong with this person.

[@MiraJune742]

@amyrenee1361 boundaries are very different than punishment/reward systems designed to dominate another person. Boundaries are about keeping yourself healthy and happy, punishment is about gaining control over the other person (not controlling yourself). I appreciate where you're coming from, but he was also diagnosed with a severe addiction, depression, and sociopathy with narcissist tendencies by a PhD psychologist. Our relationship, (and more than that, our breakup) was riddled with abuse, lies, manipulation tactics, threats, financial abuse, and severe psychological and emotional abuse. I HIGHLY doubt someone stalking, harassing, demeaning, and threatening you AND your new boyfriend "if he doesn't break up with you" post divorce is "simply having boundaries". Perhaps consider that you have no idea what someone's been through before posting something like that in the future. Thanks!

[@jones2277]

Why are you so trainable?

[@MiraJune742]

@jones2277 There's only one type of person that blames the victim for being abused. Good job outing yourself to the whole internet!

[@the6ig6adwolf]

The Joker seems like a nice enough guy. He's usually laughing and doesn't take things too seriously. Sometimes, people just have one really bad day.

[@hansmemling2311]

Ikr, he's so relatable.

[@vebdaklu]

The Joker? Seriously?!

[@lpi3]

Batman just overreacting because of his child trauma

[@alli3219]

​@@vebdaklu Why so sssssserious..? 😂🤡

[@michaelwinter742]

Her: “Psychopaths seem normal and act nice.” Me: OMG, I’m a psychopath!!

[@jammerswank]

😂 knowledge is a prison

[@JackOusley]

I felt the same way

[@RedwihteGame]

Their nice due to unspoken objectives, ie manipulate you into doing something for them at cost of your wellbeing.

[@G11713]

"...they genuinely don't care."

[@Dukenukem]

Are you manipulating your surrounding people group to achieve your aims and goals while not caring about the results for them? If so, welcome to the club psycho :)

[@janetrushton5796]

Anyone who becomes a little too friendly with me turns me off instantly. Always thought i was aloof or antisocial but now i’m thinking my spidey senses for psychopathy is bang on!

[@deedee7780]

That makes me sad, cause I am genuinely a very friendly person and I have an anxious attachment style which means I like to connect with people right away. I also love to help people - makes me feel good. I do get some people who act standoffish which now makes sense.

[@DrVaticinator]

Met a charming psychopath once, was kinda unsettling. Knowing his charm was only to get what he wanted. He told me he was a psychopath and eventually I agreed. He was surprisingly honest.

[@johnthomas4790]

Crazy how she just described most politicians

[@ken96554]

i've chosen monk mode solitude to avoid psychopaths who now freely roam society.

[@blaquemoonmajesty33]

4real. Life has been a school that has taught me strength and reason to stand solo.

[@kerrieannebaker8595]

ditto!

[@Jae-by3hf]

Yep, well nun, I’m a woman! 😂 narcs, sociopaths & psychopaths run amok and I don’t have the energy to mingle with humans who are either these nut cases or enablers!

[@Stirnst]

They’ve always roamed free. Statistically, the chance of you falling victim to one, and the chance of it being fatal or worse, have never been lower in the history of mankind. You just seem to encounter more because they are portrayed a lot in the media. Are you really monk like? Strictly devoted to mastering a certain way of life and some awesome skills? Or is this way of thinking just a rationalisation for not connecting to people as much as you need and or want? I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be a dick

[@Agathe.May...]

Roam free??? Yeah since it s their right. There are a lot of psychopaths, always was, always will, and they are not a threat to you... be more careful of the one that have strong emotions, they are way more dangerous.

[@ke6319]

Because niceness disarms people. We go about our day with highly defensive manner, as if you're shielding yourself from everyone else

[@msc8382]

As someone who deems himself so powerful I never have to shield myself from others... I can say. Scratch the 'as if' part. This is what almost everyone does because (in my opinion!) they're too weak. The way I see it, I cannot actually use my powers for the sake of others, because to do so, I need to learn what makes them tick first. That requires vulnerability. This means I'm actually dangerous to people who start out defensively, which is most people. This isn't because I'm a threat to people, not at all. Its because weakness makes everyone else who isn't seem like a threat. You're staring at someone with the ability to force your vulnerability. That's the difference in psychopathy; they don't care if they're forcing your vulnerability. But that's mostly because they're not aware of the value you're trying to protect. So the upside to this is that unless the psychopath had been socialised, they cannot perceive your forced vulnerability.

[@TheAmazingGlenn]

@@msc8382 How did you even become so powerful?

[@msc8382]

​@@TheAmazingGlenn I'm sharing a side-story first, to help answering your question. Did you know there's a culture around spicy foods? Some people even have KZbin channels where they eat the spiciest foods in the world. People who never eat spicy foods may wonder how they can eat with such discomfort. The body doesn't actually adapt to those spices; the mind becomes resistant to the discomfort. But if you don't know.. you may be in awe how those spicy foods get eaten! With repetitive exposure to negative stimulation, if the scenario doesn't change, your mind adjusts to the experience. If your mind fully adapts, there are no longer any unknowns that the (sub)conscious can't anticipate. It just becomes an experience without the original discomfort. The discomfort is caused because the brain is recording risk. By repetitive exposure, you're telling your brain the experience does not represent risk. It is a process called desensitization. The problem that keeps people weak is that they can't ensure their scenario is consistent enough for their mind to adapt naturally. This includes the inability to dictate the level and depth of participation in interactions with others. It's called 'being lived'. Most people will try to make you feel relevant by THEIR values, robbing you of the opportunity to dictate your own presence by YOUR values. To become powerful, you must first learn your values. If you do, you can use other people's values to represent your own. Down the line, power is not forcing people to do things they can't or don't want to do. It's convincingly showing them it's their best choice or inviting them to inform you otherwise. Many people think that blocking someone from doing something to you is power. It's not. That's control and force. Power is using the scenario you're in to represent your values and opportunities. If you're somewhere not by choice, that's where you're the weakest. Find a reason to be there or move on. Doubt, in this sense, is telling yourself you still have a role to play while you should be moving on. Therefore, my advice to gain true power is: - Search for certainty that justifies your actions or participation. If it isn't there, make it or move on. - Start creating scenarios. Tell your friends you like having them around. Tell yourself it's okay to make mistakes. It's all about aligning your anticipation with the actual outcome. By creating scenarios, you take control and responsibility. If you're not used to this, you'll make hurtful mistakes. Don't doubt your mistakes; they're just new scenarios to take control of. - Failure is the key to power because it shows deviations from expectations versus outcomes. Addressing your perspective on failure means understanding why the outcome was different than anticipated. This gives you wisdom. Allowing yourself to fail without feeling bad about it changes your perspective. - Other people will always try to pull you into their narratives. Look how long my message is. Even I do it. You decide how much you want to be engaged. Online it's easy; in real life, you believe you have to keep up social rules. You don't. You can be the same person online and in person. There's no need to make exceptions. - Women often show how making exceptions frequently backfires. If you learn from a scenario, generalize the problem-solving you've applied. If you don't, whatever you've learned becomes an exception. You'll never know why you can't solve a problem without context. Using the sea with islands as an analogy; Exceptional thinking creates isolated islands of different countries. They're not unified. Any problem requiring unification can't be solved without relying on significant resources. Many believe that's the limit of natural behavior. I'm saying that's a natural weakness being justified. - The only reason why you'll make exceptions, is because you're too weak to do anything else and you need a specific scenario in order to get or keep what you want. This is by definition a lack of power. If you collaborate on your terms, you're not making exceptions. A lot of immature people believe that if two people are making exceptions, you're having a power struggle. Its exactly the opposite; there are two people completely powerless and expect the other to facilate the scenario so exceptions can be made. - This also means that the more powerful you become, the more indepdendent you become. If being dependent and vulnerable is all you are, than chasing power feels like losing yourself. However, power is about the only thing that can keep you from losing yourself. Because with power, you can get boundaries that prevent others from manipulating your participation in any scenario. - People who exclusively make exceptions DO NOT understand power. They'll believe they're being robbed of their agency. This is their trauma. It is not your problem. In fact, their negative emotion is their testament to being weak, as they're clearly showing a lack of collaboration and means to enforce their boundaries. Cheers!

[@deedee7780]

@@msc8382 Are you a real person or a message from the Universe? LOL

[@msc8382]

​@@deedee7780 Since I'm a person who is part of the universe, I can say I'm both a real person and in some fashion a message from the universe. Why choose when you can have both? LOL

[@nickelcapoccia2773]

I'm surprised she didn't talk about Dexter Morgan. Perfect example of a psychopath blending in as a normal nice person who clearly wasn't. He was my favorite psycho

[@destinygarcia8993]

Is he truly a psychopath though? He cares about his moral code

[@nickelcapoccia2773]

@destinygarcia8993 a vigilante is still a psychopath. He has rules not morals. He cheated on his girlfriend. He setup a coworker to take the fall. He killed 2 people that didn't follow his code in the original series.

[@destinygarcia8993]

@@nickelcapoccia2773 hmm I stopped watching the show once things got weird with his sister so perhaps there's context I'm unaware of. Plus it's been a while

[@Jamespetersenwa]

I've always thought it'd be easier to spot most people with NPD who are trying to hide it rather than someone psychopathic because I've understood that the person who has NPD still displays insecurities which, if you know what you're looking for, you can sometimes spot without them knowing. Someone who's psychopathic doesn't share those same insecurities so it's extremely easy for them to truly "fake" the appearance of a "normal" person.

[@cjsa7174]

Anybody can be nice or do kind things. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find a human being who has never done a nice thing for anyone.

[@manavdehi]

Thanks a lot! Now I am scared of people who are nice to me

[@BrownPotato2000]

Don't forget that the ones who are not nice to you are sociopaths. Personally, I only trust people who are neither nice nor not nice.

[@TimeSurfer206]

Well, there is a line between simply good manners and manipulation. But a master can really blur that line.

[@canary_inthecoalmine]

you should be 😅 Everyone wants something from you if they engage with you, especially if they’re being nice

[@blaquemoonmajesty33]

Nice and kind are different. Gotta test someone’s morality to sense their integrity. Anyone up to no good hasn’t got any. If an inner alarm goes off or suggests somethings off especially in the spirit just use silence. 😊

[@avril.227]

Just look for those who give kindness, and ask nothing in return. I don’t come across as overtly nice and charming, but I help the homeless and will be there for my friends and family in times of need. And take a long time to let new friends and potential partners into your personal space. It isn’t healthy to give trust too easily. Cluster B types will use and discard you.

[@mrsbluesky8415]

One sure sign is the “poor pitiful me” stories. They always try to make you feel sorry for them, meanwhile normal ppl don’t want pity.

[@annipsy2185]

ive fallen for it too , i was young

[@TheLoneMitten]

I get like that after dealing with multiple mechanics and my car is still fucked.

[@SilentNinjaaa]

Normal ppl don’t want pity?? Lmaooo. I love these dogmatic polarizing beliefs that ppl use to justify their flimsy theories😂 Everyone seeks pity to a certain extent, psychopaths just more than others. Why ruin a good video with your half-baked, heavily biased opinion?

[@HorusHerotic]

That describes half of young people today.

[@V.Hansen.]

@@SilentNinjaaafound the pity party thrower. Let’s say healthy people don’t want pity.

[@ApocalypseofMichael]

We need more out there about "Sub Clinical" psychopathy. "Dark triad/tetrad" types are much more common and affect many more people.

[@ApocalypseofMichael]

subclinical - undiagnosed. Malignant narcissism is psychopathy. The original study says that psychopaths are only two percent of the population based upon a study that examined a male prison population. I argue that the bandwidth of psychopathy is much wider than that study. We are surrounded by "Type B's", or "Dark triad/tetrad" types that go on undiagnosed or with their freedoms intact. We need more education on the levels of psychopathy within normal, everyday surroundings such as the workplace, familial or intimate relationships. Also to mention the number of them in positions of power in Governments and corporations which now are the same. Think WEF, "world economic fascists", BlackRock and others. I really think this is the pandemic we face; people on a dark spectrum abusing people psychologically and physically at will and without remorse for their own needs, ends and agendas. I deleted my original reply as this response was deleted multiple times by someone. I don't care. Here it is.

[@briangriffin8106]

I heard my mother say something about this. "Too sweet to be wholesome."

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

My father was psychopathic. Thankfully I got my revenge on him before he died. People think I am the cruel one because he was soooo charming, but they don’t know him behind closed doors.

[@JonnyOpinionated]

My parents, at the recommendation of my mother's sister, hired a women to assist with my mother's healthcare. An invented job of being liaise between patients and doctors/healthcare system. Turns out she stuffed kittens in a plastic bag and threw them in a dumpster. Crazy lady denied it was her, later more evidence came out and she plead guilty, got a fine. She's on her third company. But my parents still say things like we had such a good rapport and relationship with her. Also she was a tremendous advocate of Medical assisted in death (MAID). We are in the process of firing her. She is lucky that is all that is happening.

[@christal2641]

Animal abuse is a STRONG DIAGNOSTIC SIGN OF A PSYCHOPATH.

[@sanarahharanas4493]

The adaptive behaviour doesn't seem any different than what other people do. If you have unmedicated ADHD or autism you can learn to mask what you are in order to fit in with society.

[@nef36]

Coping with unmedicated ADHD isn't masking it's trying to actually function

[@lysanamcmillan7972]

@@nef36 Masking is an attempt to function. Ditto with autism. I have both; this is how I know.

[@angel794]

It's different because the end game for psychopaths is to enjoy the power of manipulating other people toward whatever goals they have. They consciously adopt behaviors that are socially acceptable and preferred in order to more effectively approach and manipulate people. They are very good at reading people and interpreting their facial expressions, body language and speech. In contrast, people on the autism spectrum have a degree of difficulty interpreting people's expressions, emotions, intentions, body language & speech. They learn to fit in socially by subconsciously and consciously mimicking normal facial expressions, body language, etc. For some, that includes also masking their natural, abnormal expressions, tics, etc., to appear normal.

[@iyraspusjfzifzocyoyxyoxyoxoy]

everything is calculated to meet their wants on one way or another. being nice to you is just a means to an end for them

[@Franimus]

I'm often glad my pathological demand avoidance makes me reflexively back away literally and figuratively from people who are too obviously nice/flattering to me.

[@JackOusley]

The more I learn about these mental disorders the more I recognize certain traits that I share to a greater or lesser degree with many of them.

[@DaveE99]

They are all basically normal human instincts and processes gone too far.

[@DaveE99]

Like think about borderline for instance, we all have a fear of abandonment due to both attatchment theory and terror managment theory. Then look at nacracism, and we all have an ego and can be a bit narcissistic, in fact ideally you have a bit of an ego. It’s just how things work,etc etc

[@TheLoneMitten]

A man identifying with psychopathy. Probably because you are. Men's brain lack the ability to put themselves in another's shoes. That's cognitive empathy. Men's version of empathy is a shadow of the real thing. It's called personal distress or fear that the bad thing happening to someone else will happen to them. Or already has. That's what FMRI studies have shown. Not many differences in the brains of men and women but that's one of them. There are exceptions. I'd guesstimate 10%. Some men work on their empathy by choice. Not included in the 10% that naturally possess cognitive empathy. So 8/10 men are problematic for society as a whole. Women are half the population which is why it's such a problem. Those 8/10 are put out by helping out other men voluntarily and without being resentful of it. Basing this on scientific studies, history books and lots of observation.

[@christal2641]

If you take ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY (normally a sophomore course), the prof. eventually shocks the whole class by announcing that most of the students in the room gave diagnosed themselves with several of the neuroses, psychoses, and personality disorders in the textbook. The nice ones explain that most St of those disorders are mutually exclusive. Only the really nasty ones will instead get you to tell them about your suspicions and then tell you privately that you are correct. If that ever happens to you, drop the class and stay far away.

[@DaveE99]

@@christal2641 what that behaviors and traits tend to fall on a continum. The issue would be not presenting them as a continum. Presenting them as a binary is the problem.

[@hermesmcclintok]

The difference between caring about someone's welfare and not caring is very small. If you get injured on the street a bunch of people 'that care' are just gonna stand there and watch. Most of the people that do care only care about the way it makes them feel about caring about you. It's fake, is the point.

[@Andrea-rw9tf]

I used to say they hold their eyes real wide like everything is surprising, except their mouth and lower face.

[@mintwally7200]

Greg Hartley calls that the Romancer stare, or something like that. Supposedly when people are trying to pull one over on you they keep a close watch to see if they are succeeding.

[@heartfullyhonest]

It’s the subtle stuff that gives them away.

[@Mediocre00Rebel]

I learned this the hard way with my last boss. He did something out of line, then quickly made himself the victim and got me fired.

[@wanderingwade8877]

The political class is loaded with them.

[@tw8464]

Just like the "religious" and "business" class they're all the political class

[@angel794]

Trump's a perfect example

[@Sunnyrain-fe2iy]

Anyone who wants to be a politician or likes being one if they already are one and act in an authoritative manner, I am always questioning and observing if they have a personality disorder because MOST normal minded citizens in the world would rather leave people to govern their own selves rather than think they need to be governed by someone else, therefore that is why MOST citizens in the world do not seek to govern other people’s lives. Politicians on the other hand are control freaks constantly paranoid about regular citizens which is just stupid and feel the useless need to control others, they cannot relax at all and they are not laid back at all, they are always uptight and their attitude is constantly always leaning towards the mean and cruel meter, they are like my ex husband which is why he is my ex husband case in point.

[@hollyjay3628]

I’ve said this about Kim k and Taylor swift. Both know to be kind to keep getting what they want. That’s why Taylor’s kindness is always advertised and on display. It’s the building blocks for her success.

[@briellexx]

Something is not right with taylor swift

[@deedee7780]

Yeah, she has always given me the creeps.

[@Nola50]

You obviously know nothing about Taylor bc you are so very very wrong about her. She is genuinely a very sweet girl with a very sweet and loving family and parents. Pls stop spreading rumors about people. Esp when you have no idea what you are talking about

[@anniebisaillon382]

I am always wary of super charming people. They always have a flip switch and throw you off where you feel like someone ripped the rug from under you and you hit ypur head on the floor

[@TheOtherMrEd]

This is one of the best explanations I've seen yet. Psychopathic behavior is outcome-oriented. The goal is to achieve something. Most people feel empathy - psychopaths don't. Other people are just pieces on a chessboard to be moved around. But a psychopath is constantly assessing other people in terms of their value to the psychopath. Value could be anything, money, friendship, social advancement. If you have value, they'll use whatever tactic best helps them extract it. If you have no value, they'll just ignore you. Why waste the energy?

[@fruitygranulizer540]

i've also heard it can be on and off. that people who are psychopathic can be completely normal people for most of the day, but then certain things can trigger it and they will stop caring about people's feelings.

[@Bandy64]

You mean like this guy? “I don’t care about you. I just want your vote. I don’t care.”

[@canary_inthecoalmine]

Ex👏🏼act👏🏼ly👏🏼

[@isabellavalencia8026]

Exafuckenactly

[@captainflamson]

The poster boy.

[@dennishickey7194]

Scrolled for this comment.

[@michaelmoody935]

Uh oh this person seems very normal, kind even, and definitely charming 😳

[@BKKfreak]

Hannibal Lecter was extremely charming, warm and welcoming. His dinner parties were enjoyed by all his guests... Well, except for one guest.

[@iannicholls796]

Most people act nice when they want something, truth is we all have narcissistic/psychopathic traits. The difference between good and evil is how you deal with them.

[@MG________]

This is a good reminder actually. Note to self: keep a wide berth of you know who.

[@kaitlinsmith458]

My dad was a diagnosed sociopath. Funniest, most charismatic person I knew. He always made it clear never to expect “fatherness” but that was fine. I liked him how he was and miss him dearly.

[@jaclynzinck4241]

I’m glad you had a good relationship with him, these kinds of disorders are so complicated but it’s important that every case is different and not everyone with those disorders is a threat, but it’s still good to keep an eye out for certain behaviors.

[@limitlesssky3050]

But is he the type that said he's not a good father but turn out to be a good father or is he the type that is actually a bad one.

[@kaitlinsmith458]

@@limitlesssky3050 he told us in very simple terms. He never planned to be a father and to not expect a father, so he was more of a very quiet friend. Very little to speak, but when he did, it was important. He was the smartest person I knew. He had a hard life, basically raised in boys homes and jail, but when he got older, he just liked his chair, cup of tea and a book.

[@veronika514]

Please, don't mistake sociopath with psychopath!!!!! These are so different diagnosis! I am PhD in biology.

[@kaitlinsmith458]

@@veronika514 I haven’t. Thanks.

[@joanneward6746]

Best description of office culture I've seen. Kids need to be shown this as part of their education

[@MolettiDiSardo]

The snakes that hide under rocks are the ones that survive.

[@eFOXize]

Especially nowadays, it seems that people lost the ability to differentiate between kind act and kind person. The numbers of hurt, deceived, abused or scammed people is raising because, unfortunately, love bombing is working better than any other time. More and more people ignore cultivation of critical thinking and healthy doubtfulness. I oftne hear how I am negative but well, Im not. I just had my own lesson that taught me that kind actions doesn't have to mean that's a kind person.

[@jonathankopicko2242]

The confrontation with oneself is paramount.

[@chrismack2677]

I am really loving this Lady's contributions, very fascinating! ❤

[@dirkbruere]

If it costs nothing to be nice, be nice. Simple

[@incredulouskirk]

Politicians. That was the first thing that came to my mind.

[@sleepylilac69]

anytime i hear multiple people repeatedly describe someone as a "very nice person", i'm immediately suspicious of that person.

[@maryannrymer266]

I have met that exact person when my room mate married some guy she met on line in a month. I was out of there after a couple months. He destroyed everything he touched. I moved a thousand miles away. He was out of his mind.

[@GregAndler]

The info is priceless...thanking you.

[@vebdaklu]

So, you are saying that a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry is, somehow, actually misleading us abou things that could potentially ruin our lives? Wow, and I was taught that if someone makes a bunch of money, they have to be advancing humanity and helping a lot of people! You have opened my eyes!

[@mckittensification]

Their business is to entertain, and the people in the industry are just as likely to be uninformed as the rest of us.

[@yosoybrunon]

I genuinely thought that was "sociopathy", like, the socially smart twisted ones

[@jow5872]

This is exactly it. They aren't malevolent, they just don't care. They're in it for them.

[@Vizslamum54321]

This is what makes them so dangerous. You won’t realize who you’ve befriended until it’s too late and they’ve eaten your soul for breakfast.

[@caudapavonis1130]

Well...Tom Riddle was actually described as exactly that: charming, sweet talker, always kind, always helpful...Even Harry falls for it in the second book, when he has no clue who Riddle actually became. It's just...starting from book two, we know how he turned out. The spell is broken.

[@Agathe.May...]

Psychopaths have a brain that work differently but they are not all dangerous serial killers 🙄 Indeed they don t care about anything but themselves and what s related to them. They generally great businessmen😅... there are way more than we think and just live their life normally

[@Corina-dq2my]

The differences between them, and most people, are usually very subtle. I always tell people that it's a lack of emotional depth. And the way this comes across is usually in subtle differences in non verbal cues, body language. So often our instincts pick up on it a little bit, long before we see the traits. But they seem nice. Most are quite likable. They seem neurotypical on the surface.

[@sordidknifeparty]

So, if someone seems like a psychopath, they're a psychopath, but if they seem like they're not a psychopath, then they're a psychopath, is that about right?

[@Art-e2b]

That is what makes psychos so dangerous. They are very intelligent and are experts at reading people.