Most superpowers are... useless - Alan Moore - Storytelling - BBC Maestro -

[@McMachal]

Dude’s just really hungry during this interview.

[@VOZmonsoon]

Lol this person's figured it out

[@johngamer593]

More like hangry

[@MaskHysteria]

Or he just smoked a ton of weed

[@joet7136]

Give him a Snicker's bar.

[@sonnypurden8872]

@@MaskHysteriaHe doesn’t smoke weed he only smokes hash if U look it up it’s mentioned in a few interviews. But yeah he’s always stoned lol

[@shoggothsatemyicecreamtruc2561]

“Why would you need super speed?” My brother in Christ have you seen the fucking gas prices lately

[@obsidian00]

🤣🤣🤣

[@sicilianjiu-jitsu2984]

🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

[@dimr1088]

😅😅😅😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@ElDanteGraves]

He's British he doesn't drive, he takes a bus and a train.

[@scottrauch1261]

@@ElDanteGraves no need for train or bus tickets saves money daily,

[@Cheesefist]

Let’s be honest, if people had Superspeed, Amazon would figure out a way to monopolize all super sonic Heros and turn them into prime delivery men.

[@FlyingFocs]

I'd watch a movie with this concept. Superpowers becoming ordinary.

[@kevinlewis3029]

Yes but no matter how fast a speedster could deliver, Amazon would expect them to work faster.

[@Cheesefist]

@@kevinlewis3029 that’s when Amazon scientists will create “compound a” as a way to not only enhance their powers, but also force feed it to expecting employees to create even more supersonic Heros

[@thespidermanoftheottomanempire]

*VOUGHT*

[@ehehehehehe9661]

@@FlyingFocs ....That's literally MHA

[@then00brathalos]

"what job would you get with super speed?" food delivery, paramedic, cameramen the list goes on and on...

[@mikewillis9537]

The real answer is : any damn job you wanted really

[@ItsButterBean1020]

Hell you might not even need a job, just run at FTE speeds and take shit

[@newt2120]

truck driver

[@eyeseer1]

Bank robber if you’re dishonest

[@Lia-uf1ir]

You could also save a lot of people probably. People who had a bike accident and are lying on the street with a bus or truck about to drive over them. Or people who are physically attacked and aren’t strong enough to fight back.

[@ggaranha]

Alan Moore: "Why would you need super speed?" Usain Bolt: "... and I took that personally."

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

That is not super, just incredible.

[@zhouwu]

@@jmoneyjoshkinion4576 Yeah. He had to put work and dedication into getting it. He wasn't just born with it. There are plenty of Jamaican in the world, and he's probably got lots of family members. But he's the one we all know who gets those gold medals, so there must have been something which distinguishes him from all the other Jamaicans and all the other members of the Bolt family, and I would put it down to hard work and dedication behind the scenes: blood, sweat and tears.

[@erasermotorlizard]

Don’t worry. His example was crap anyways. ANY job would want ya to be on time. N being able to Skipping traffic with that?? Thats why ID NEED IT.

[@Justaspacedude]

Haven’t you seen The Incredibles?

[@akiraeatsguitarpicks491]

That’s just normal speed

[@damiang1442]

Alan Moore: Superpowers are useless. Also Alan Moore: continues to list how useful superpowers are

[@EpicM1lkman]

@beep boop you’d be the new Usain Bolt. That’d be pretty useful

[@Theevil6ify]

@beep boop You could be a pro athlete. Or work for the government as an elite spy or "fixer" type of agent. You could be a one-person construction/carpentry crew if you knew how to build. Not to mention the infinite number of menial tasks you could complete with ease just for yourself. And if you chose to be a criminal with powers, fuckin fuggetaboutit, you would easily be able to just steal whatever you needed to survive without working. If Alan Moore was offered powers by some advanced aliens or something, you think he'd take them, or say "No thanks, I need no superpowers, they're mostly useless"? I'd think the former.

[@CharlieNoodles]

Wow you really missed the point didn’t you. He’s saying that if you really sit down and think about it, superpowers are only useful in the most mundane and superficial ways. This clip is from a much longer masterclass he gave on writing. He’s teaching aspiring writers how to be better by thinking about their subject in more depth.

[@soupgirl1864]

@@EpicM1lkman and automatically disqualified from any sporting event ever.

[@EpicM1lkman]

@@soupgirl1864 It’s not uncontrollable super speed, just go slightly faster than record speeds and everyone’ll think you’re legit

[@thekramer1097]

Well... Alan Moore being Alan Moore. He could take the joy out of eating ice crean

[@Kurostyle21]

"Think about it, what benefit do you get from eating cool dairy that forces you to do it quickly or else it all melts and loses its appeal?" And fans would praise him as the wise one

[@mralumina3566]

I always thought ice cream is pretty stupid lol. Esp when people eat it at cold night or god forbid on winter. Xd My poor sister always got questioned with her food choices.

[@thekramer1097]

@@Kurostyle21 lol

[@Foxtrox7616]

@@mralumina3566 Eating ice cream on cold weathers is healthier than eating ice cream on warm weathers

[@datanotfoundpleasetryagain3559]

Granted, he's gotten pretty distant from superheroes due to how they're being used by major corporations these days. Alan Moore's on the anarchist side, and combine that with his separation from Marvel and DC for several different reasons, you get Alan Moore not being into superheroes. He still has a great respect for them, but he's not into how they're being treated nowadays.

[@everettsoares3826]

It's not about the power you give your character, it's how creative you are when you write them.

[@vik.1903]

Yes, teach himi how to do it! Get 'em Jimmy!

[@something1600]

He's talking about if you were a superpowered person doing a regular job.

[@societalrevival1218]

I don’t think you need to tell that to Alan Moore…

[@Jordannadroj20]

You tell Alan Moore!

[@speeddemon5339]

Which is why Alan Moore thinks a lot of superpowers are useless.

[@jjachen1966]

"what job could you get with heat vision?" I think the military could think of something.

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

Depends on the nature of the heat vision. Do you need to power it by resting? How strong is it?

[@johnquicksall1432]

You could work for an electric company and heat the core to create electricity.

[@pocketwhatifs]

Don't forget welding. Heat vision is perfect for the power

[@kurukuru4120]

@Atman Gotango at first I thought of that sort of application too but that's just not how physics works. First law of thermodynamics, Energy can be changed from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. So if you try to "generate" energy, all you're doing is excreting energy you got from eating and resting, which is also lost throughout your daily activities just like any regular person would.

[@silvanodesimone6582]

@@kurukuru4120 still, converting sugar to energy is kind of good. Nvm, sugar has half the of energy density of coal.

[@acepedro12]

If things had gone different, Moore would have been a great stand-up comedian.

[@shitraver2541]

but instead there's a chair and he's a great sit-down comedian

[@MicahMicahel]

he is funny but his delivery is always kind of tempered by a seriousness. Watchmen can be looked at as kind of a satire. He tells jokes but doesn't deliver them as comedy but his own thing that I don't know what to call it.

[@pygmalion0451]

@@MicahMicahel Dry-wit humor

[@MicahMicahel]

@@pygmalion0451 sure... but also think there's a failed delivery... that works for his own stories. There are humorous ideas that could be fashioned into jokes but his mind doesn't work that way. I don't mean that as a knock. You can take a good stand up comic and have some good material for a serious drama from their material, but it doesn't mean the comic has the talent necessary to do it to their own material.. It has something to do with his style. Watchmen for instance, is sort of a humorous deconstruction of superheroes. Humour follows the joke, whereas he's aiming for a sort of depressing irony instead with the idea.

[@p.sheffield]

that's Stewart Lee

[@Tadicuslegion78]

If I had Super Speed, I'd save a fortune in never needing another car and all the expenses that go with it ever again.

[@jensmikkelsen1071]

What makes you think super-speed is free? Like you don't get tired and you don't have to eat to make it work? Or you don't sweat and your clothes don't get ruined? Good luck going to work. Let alone weather and bugs.

[@Flackon]

@@jensmikkelsen1071 you just say it’s free. It’s fiction

[@FirestoneAnimation]

@@jensmikkelsen1071 Super protein bars. Also the wind would immediately blow your sweat away

[@Aguazerh]

@@FirestoneAnimation kzbin.info/www/bejne/fIWodY2Hlqp8qtU&ab_channel=BecauseScience

[@justinhowe3878]

show up to work sweaty as hell every day.

[@RedBaronisa]

“What could u do with heat vision?” … be the best welder in history… assassinate someone from a distance… lots of more things than just light matches…

[@JustAManFromThePast]

I don't think it would make you the best welder, just let you weld without one tool. You can already assassinate someone from a distance, like JFK, it anything it would just make it super obvious who did it.

[@dingbing1539]

“What is there that is that important, you have to get there *that* early?” A terrorist attack, Alan.

[@manwithnoname8229]

Unless the terrorist has super speed as well

[@WeWillAlwaysHaveVALIS]

Rarted

[@rafaelcastor2089]

We don't even have to go that far. Reducing the response time or law enforcement even in small shit like a domestic dispute would already be an improvement by virtue of reducing the time spent on these matters. Alan simply is not thinking this through

[@silly_on_]

@@rafaelcastor2089 the main point here is that a superpower *alone* means nothing without great writing and story, an ambitious and/or good-hearted/evil character who longs to do something more for or to the world, and a situation they are put in that tests their abilities and places treasured things or people in danger.

[@julianmitchell3035]

Well done!

[@nathanwhiting5475]

I doubt even he himself believes in the way he's downplaying the usefulness of super speed lmao.

[@tommyswain3762]

To be fair, this is a snippet of one of those masterclass videos. I imagine he has a larger point to make. Either way, I enjoy the humour in poking fun at how useless superpowers would be to someone with no imagination or supervillains to challenge them.

[@nathanwhiting5475]

@@tommyswain3762 LOL fair enough

[@silly_on_]

@@tommyswain3762 Truly

[@MerkhVision]

Jokes on him according to the flash super speed is the most overpowered ability cuz u can do pretty much anything and beat anybody

[@jp2503]

The biggest problem with super speed would be not hitting things and exploding, lack of traction to keep going faster, and stopping.

[@Primus_075]

"What is so important that you have to get there so early" The point is to be there on time everytime. With superspeed you can wake up 1 min before you have to be anywhere and still be there on time. Or you could go to your favourite resturant everyday which is on the other side of the country and eat everything and come back within the 5 min break you may get. You can find many things to do with any shitty superpower if you put your brain to it

[@zero8xkira]

I think you would still be late because you would overestimate how much time you have and end up procrastinating.

[@robotmaster4515]

@@zero8xkira Not unless you got good time management skills. Keep a grasp of your speed and don't procrastinate and it's not a issue.

[@zero8xkira]

@@robotmaster4515 time management skills can be a superpower

[@maaz322]

He wasn't talking about how a superpower benefitted your individualistic needs, he was talking about how you'd benefit humanity. There are zero benefits to humanity any superhero could offer. They could save a handful of people with their arcane abilities, but real life humans who've invented life-saving treatment and technology have saved millions. That's undebatable. But the problem with this debate is we're arguing about how beneficial a figment of your imagination coming alive would be. It's so absurd and infantile, almost saddening. I'm sure your parents told you to find better role models, but you still haven't grown out of it.

[@joshmitchell8370]

@@maaz322 I'm sure you enjoy feeling superior, but at this point your smugness is assumed, and therefore not valid. First the question wasn't the value of your imagination come to life. The question was would superpowers actually be all that useful. It's an intellectual thought process question. Second, you, like so many other supposed smart people, assume we see role models in fictional characters. A.) That's rarely the case, and B.) If people did choose their role models from a comic book, it is never because of their powers. It is the type of person that the character is. Concepts like empathy, and duty, and honor, and courage. You wouldn't know anything about those because you only care about what a person can bring to the table. Honor and courage doesn't cure people like a new fangled medical invention, but I would rather have fewer people if that meant more of them were decent human beings.

[@bobbydyne]

“And what’s the deal with these characters flying? We have airplanes for that”

[@Lopo13]

"why do you need to be there that early" uhhhh what makes you think I'm going early? I got superspeed, last second arrival at every chance I get

[@ChrisLeeW00]

I-Just-Woke-Up-Man, the king of naps!

[@the4given196]

Has he never heard of families living far apart? My brother lives a 2 hour car drive away. If I could just run there in 5 minutes I’d see him like every other day instead of once every few months. (That’s also because we both don’t have limitless freetime but u get my point)

[@daftpunkking909]

Wake up 5 minutes before work. More sleep!!

[@alphabesen]

Isn't it kind of a running Gag in DC that Flash is always late? As the fastest Man

[@s.m2895]

Dude lacks creativity with heat vision you could become an invaluable engineer,or harness it as energy in some way, with superspeed you could moderate it and become the best athlete in history in almost any sport

[@DavidNasr]

Stopping time is pretty useful. Think about it: - You can pause time during exams to cheat - You can pause time to get out of or prevent accidents - You can pause time to plan things out in stressful or time-sensitive situations - You can pause time to break into places(less legal but still doable) This list can be endless.

[@RED01SEA]

Pause time to cheat ?!! My dude if you Can do that you have infinite time to study !!! The problem is that we don't have enough time

[@YodasPapa]

My brother in Christ, if you can stop time, you do not need to take exams.

[@biswasbudhathoki8144]

If you stop time how are you going to breathe if air is not moving?

[@Xetan123]

Running near the speed of light is basically stopping time.

[@bizentino]

@@biswasbudhathoki8144 The air is not moving but the O2 is still there. It does not dissapear. With that logic, then you would not need to breath if time stopped.

[@MavrikUSMC]

I'm just going to point out, he's only thinking of how a "good" person would use these powers. I can seriously find a way to turn any superpower into a source of financial gain as a villain.

[@Anon-qp3kt]

nah, the world right now is too far gone to not know how to deal with villains. You don't think the governments around the world wouldn't take your family hostage? The Geneva convention only applies to war between UN countries.

[@MavrikUSMC]

@@Anon-qp3kt .........what?

[@alexandercross9081]

No, he's not even thinking that far, he's utterly failed to think of creative uses for super powers

[@VortexTalon]

Oh no, someone is trapped in their car by the bent up door and has a bad gash bleeding pretty bad! If only I could cut through the metal to free them and cauterize the wound but I’m not on duty and don’t have my equipment! Oh no, someone is having a bad stroke and I’m half way across the city. Now all I can do is listen to them die on the phone and hope someone else can get there I. The next few minutes to save them

[@carlsteffens]

They could would be source of financial gain just in the private sector no need to be a villain to make money

[@AlexWalkerSmith]

This dude's superpower is having no imagination.

[@namename8004]

As much of legend as Alan Moore is, he clearly hasn't thought this out. A person with power enough heat vision could power entire city just by staring at a steam engine all day. And super speed? Come on. Even if you didn't want to easily live off of a life of easy robbery, you could power a turbine or do high end delivery service for small parcels. People would pay loads of money to be able to have a package hand delivered cross country same day. Not many, but there'd certainly be enough to make a living when you consider anyone in the entire country could be a potential client. Maybe even entire world depending on the limits of the super speed. Saying you could only deliver pizzas is reductive and close minded.

[@iepvienredstoneHuy007]

Yeah but it's his point that it's such a dull application of superpowers? Like the heat vision thing, staring at a boiler inside a brick room does seem a little boring even compare to a chief's job. Delivery parcels is much the same as pizza, ok you make money but you still a pizza delivery boy/mail man, occasionally you can beat down a crime or 2 but that is, there isn't much to do in a mundane world like our(provided you follow the laws).

[@namename8004]

No, it's not. He specifically says useless and his entire argument is about it being without a use. He did not say dull nor was that what he meant. Also, no one is talking about vigilantism here. Even though that normally goes with super powers, we're talking more realistically here. Super powers of any sort would change the world. Point blank. Doesn't matter what it is, people will find a way to exploit it. That's how people have always done things and that's how we're communicating right now. The main exploit being the predictably adjustable conductivity of silicon. Of course, there's a million of other little exploits that led from that to here, but the point is super powers would be utilized the same way.

[@ZeldaboyOG]

Without a healing factor your knees, lower back, hips, ankles, and feet are toast. Well actually dust. You trip you die. You trip, but don't die immediately but you're in the middle of nowhere so you still die. Trying to see where you're going with wind in your eyes. GPS couldn't keep up with you so you'd have to stop frequently to get your bearings. What if you stop in a place with no cell service? You gotta run in a direction until you find civilization also eating up time. What if you break the sound barrier and cause yourself to go permanently deaf? Also your clothes disintegrate from the friction as well as your skin, because again you have super speed and not a healing factor. You pass out from exhaustion and die. You pass out from exhaustion at high speed and die. You dehydrate and die. You overheat and die. Your metabolism is off the charts and your body begins eating itself and you die. Your tendons and muscles are torn to shreds and you die. I could easily go on. Almost all super powers alone are useless. They require other not mentioned super powers to work. Like cool you have super strength enough to lift like 20 tons, but your bones can't support that much because you don't have super endurance so they are crushed, or just crushed by your muscles themselves. Oh also having flash level speed means you'd have his metabolism which also does increase the rate at which your cells are replaced, but you would quickly run out of telomeres. So you mutate and die, or you rapidly age and die, or you get super cancer and die. Like I said I could go on.

[@maverickslastoddworld6476]

@@namename8004 I would just rob banks all day

[@eclipsedarksouls6036]

My first thought for super speed was search and rescue, somone goes missing in a mountain range give a day and i can search the whole thing. Or if there trained in medical they could show up before any ambulance could, even if it's not safe to carry somone in there super speed they can show up and stabilize somone who wouldn't survive long enough for the ambulance to arrive.

[@toxicsmoke194]

“What is so important that you have to get that early” My plan was to be there on time for once, dude

[@-GhostofZion-]

For me atleast just only 10 minutes late

[@Jkdabomb10A]

You’d probably still be late tbh

[@toxicsmoke194]

@@Jkdabomb10A having the benefit of the doubt brings me peace.

[@Armsmen]

I would say that it would safe me time if I had super speed or could just teleport.

[@jequangold1996]

But then I think I got time so I still end up late.

[@JackRackam]

Easy application for heat vision: spend all day in front of a bunch of very large steam engines and become a valuable power source for the electricity grid

[@MadM0nte]

Love your vids man so random to see you on here. Good take but I hope it pays well because it sounds monotonous. Hook the superspeed guy up to a generator too. Honestly, super speed is crazy useful time is one of if the not the most valuabe commodity in all the universe.

[@JohnSmith-ki2eq]

You could become a blacksmith, or a welder

[@dustywarren827]

Super speed be good for electicy as well

[@Strawberrymilkdrink]

Yea who wants to stand in front of a stream engine and stare at it unblinking all day every day when you have a machine for that?

[@ashrunzeda4099]

I'm gonna ask to be paid 8 digits if I'm gonna do that all day. Anyway, love your vids man!

[@Jordie_42]

Alan Moore would be fun at parties. Especially if you tell him your favourite comic book of his is The Killing Joke

[@m1lst3r89]

Or how much you enjoyed film adaptation of Watchmen and V for Vendetta

[@nightowl8477]

You fucking dorks

[@tezmard3003]

Or if you told him Steve ditko was right and everything that Alan Moore has ever produced was garbage

[@emperorpalpatine6239]

@@m1lst3r89Well, the Watchmen movie completely missed the point of the comic book, so him being angry about it is pretty understandable

[@Xarfax321]

@@m1lst3r89 or ask him to sign your DVD of Watchmen Babies. Then ask which one is his favorite.

[@plague8638]

"Where are you going where you need to be that early" Boy, I could go across the country to see friends and not even need to take days off.

[@simonw.1223]

Yesh like on a nice walk to the friends... but what anout oceans?

[@bunk766]

@@simonw.1223 you don’t sink instantly, if you were to run fast enough I think you could probably run on water due to surface tension.

[@simonw.1223]

@@bunk766 yeah I just wonder how fast?

[@bunk766]

@@simonw.1223 when people think of super speed their mind is going to instantly jump to the flash 9 times out of 10 and I’m positive that would be a sufficient speed.

[@bunk766]

@@simonw.1223 and apparently someone did the math and determined 70mph would be fast would, which honestly doesn’t sound crazy

[@benjaminholcomb9478]

"The secret ingredient is crime"

[@ZeldaboyOG]

Right? Shhhhh shhhhh. No one tell him.

[@maverickslastoddworld6476]

I had the same idea!

[@Kenpachi_White707]

Lol agreed and we wouldn't need cops if there was no crime. There's a positive and negative to everything. Oh and what job would you get with super speed? Any job you want!! But they would have to pay you more

[@Kenpachi_White707]

@JL-XrtaMayoNoCheese of course. But my point is, if there's super speed people in this universe, it stands to reason that some of those supers powered people would also be cops.

[@Kenpachi_White707]

@JL-XrtaMayoNoCheese it seems like you think most humans are inherently evil

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

The more I hear from Moore's funny side, the more I start to believe that rumor that the two adaptations of his work that he actually likes are the JLU's episode of "For the Man Who Has Everything" and Saturday Morning Watchmen. _I'm nutty!_

[@VuotoPneumaNN]

That JLU episode is very good.

[@Garbageman28]

It’s not a rumour - he’s gone on record to confirm this several times. Alan’s a legend.

[@LinkEX]

​@championchap "talent" is such a bad corporate term to refer to people that put their heart and soul into their craftsmanship on a daily basis. But I agree, Saturday Morning Watchmen is amazing, and Harry is amazing at what he does - both in terms of animation as well as voice acting.

[@LinkEX]

@@davidguyette2586 "If you say talent the skilled worker will feel less in control about their ability to gain employment" Never thought of it like that. That makes it even worse, haha.

[@LinkEX]

@@davidguyette2586 "The artist will assume it was all luck and mercy of Corporate." Also I'd add, the artist will probably have to endure yet another false compliment of "being talented", quietly tolerating yet another person reducing his skill to a mere birth privilege.

[@paperknigth2263]

I love that he considers all the possible applications for Superpowers except being a Superhero.

[@Benny-br5xk]

"How does heat vision benefit you in any way?" Has he not seen the clip of Superman shaving his beard with it?

[@makosato1256]

Just melts your face off lol

[@mykolokolo]

or the brain surgery he performed on himself

[@tvarida1497]

Well I think heat vision isn’t the same as laser beam eyes, but does really Alan Moore thinks it’s useless? Black ops, mercenaries, police and many other are using heat vision for work, like how isn’t it useful if you can see hiding beasts or people with naked eye. You could just accidentally save someone thrown off of highway because of heat vision etc.

[@donovandelozier7156]

@@tvarida1497 he explicitly talks about cooking with it and setting fire to things, so it's pretty clear he means heat vision in the sense of laser eyes.

[@briancheng1743]

yea but superman skin and hair is different tho if u do that u might kill yourself

[@bonzwah1]

In one of the later seasons of heroes, the main character specifically seeks to acquire super speed to help him save more lives as an EMT by getting on the scene earlier to administer care

[@Randomkloud]

Alan Moore is being hyperbolic but kinda right. Like you said, the character from heroes already has a job as an emt and wants a power to make himself more effective. It works as a deconstruction of superhero tropes.

[@bonzwah1]

@@Randomkloud im just pointing out that, out of all the examples Alan Moore could have used, super speed is among the worst. Heat vision is a pretty good example actually of a power that you have to really think through to get a use out of. but super speed helps in virtually every situation possible. I only specifically use the "heroes" example because it is a TV series that specifically bothered to explore the use of a super power in a "normal" job. Alan Moore isn't being hyperbolic, he's engaging in a laughably bad overreach. to sit there and scoff at the idea of simply eliminating the need for commuting time is to be completely out of touch with what most people consider "useful".

[@paintedlantern7248]

@@bonzwah1 plus when you have multiple people with different superpowers you can group them up to do very cool things that it would take a tremendous amount of Manpower and Machinery to do what like three supers could in like an hour. A massive save on time and resources. If you can't find a utilitarian purpose for most superpowers you have a shity imagination >.

[@maaz322]

Having super speed does not mean super strength. A paramedic's job is to stabilize a patient in order to transport him to receive more advanced care. 1. You wouldn't be able to pick the patient up. 2. Even if you did, nobody wants to be carried at 70mph held in someone's arms, their wound would open back up, or they'd pass out. Do you even think before commenting such crass things?

[@paintedlantern7248]

@@maaz322 weight is affected by gravity which is affected by time. If you're able to move things faster than they can be affected by gravity then their way becomes functionally irrelevant. If you were moving that fast it would just be a moment and you would appear at the hospital already done with surgery. It would seem to me you're the one not thinking

[@PsPmoddedOUT]

Guy doesn't realize the US navy has "heat vision guns" that can literally destroy drones and small boats. Dont even get me started on super speed

[@Jacobe2of4]

This "guy" invented most super powers we see today. That's Alan Moore, probably one of the greatest comic book writers of all time. He's talking about the thought process an amateur goes through while writing a character. They can't be bothered to think about how each hero will use their powers in a unique way. Not just in battle but on a day to day basis. The hero also has to use their powers in a way that fits their personality. It's smaller details like this that most people don't think about.

[@donovandelozier7156]

@@Jacobe2of4 but he never says that in this clip. He just says super powers are useless, and tries to give examples by saying you could use things besides powers to duplicate some effects.

[@OmegaTav]

@@Jacobe2of4 it doesn’t matter who he is, a bad example and argument is still a bad example and argument regardless who said it

[@OmegaTav]

@@Jacobe2of4 it doesn’t matter who he is, a bad example and argument is still a bad example and argument regardless who said it

[@Anon-qp3kt]

His point is superpowers are useless for humans as a whole. What does one guy who has heat vision can do with his powers other than harm others? Superspeed is just a terrible superpower if you get into the actual nitty gritty

[@user-6-9-4-2-0]

"Why would you need super speed?" My dumbass waking 1 min before class starts

[@EiferBrennan]

I feel like heat vision would be handy for welding, depending on your level of control.

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

With these electricity prices we could use a renewable supernatural source of heat.

[@PiiskaJesusFreak]

If it would be on the same level as Supermans heat vision, you could be the fastest and the most accurate welder out there without breaking sweat.

[@EiferBrennan]

@@PiiskaJesusFreak exactly, do you know how much money a Master Welder makes? My uncle has a huge house, with five acres of land, a manmade pond with swans and two giant snapping turtles.

[@PiiskaJesusFreak]

@@EiferBrennan not exactly, but I know that a high quality craftsman can charge a pretty penny, and with heat vision you would be one of the best, and could do in minutes what would take others hours to do. So yeah, even with this kind of "basic" labor you could do well for yourself if you had superpowers. Probably the real money would still one through the publicity.

[@javiervalenzuela8284]

Not really. Cutting for sure, welding not so much.

[@johnharmon5905]

"In fact, let's go a step further! All human endeavor is futile! Now, back to writing..."

[@gabrielcastejon7914]

Lol, you summarized it perfectly

[@AnimatedTerror]

That’s Moore for you.

[@mandos6145]

"What is so important that you need to get somewhere that early" I dunno, super secret communication that is entirely impossible to intercept due to it being analogue

[@malachiwilliams9883]

So you can only work in the military... Y'know, that's actually not too bad

[@Goblin_Hands]

I guess spending time in traffic is more fun. Lol

[@simonpetrikov3992]

Passenger pigeons but with speedsters

[@d.g6863]

There was an episode with the flash when he delivers a human organ to a different hospital, that's definitely a super power everyone would be proud of.

[@anuaranuar3616]

Pelik juga cerita yang anda terangkan...awak silap memahami tentang Superman.

[@user-mf8oy4xd8i]

its from Young Justice and unsurprisingly one of the best episodes in that show

[@epbrown01]

It’s from the first issue of the Flash when Wally took over; he charged the hospital to deliver a heart.

[@dannywoodring7876]

Sounds like a lack of imagination to me .Heat vision, as an artist I’d use it to etch in designs, shape and cut metal, welding stuff together. Not sure how that stuff works but not having to Cary around or use a bunch of now arbitrary tools. Super speed would reduce the need for cars or vehicles period eliminating a lot of fossil fuels. A bunch of other stuff

[@pocketwhatifs]

Don't forget welding, heat vision would be perfect for it.

[@AnnisAdventures]

@@pocketwhatifs could also potentially be an energy source depending on how it works.

[@javiervalenzuela8284]

I think it would depend on how your heat vision works, but then again proper welding takes more than just heat. Even forge welding requires flux and hammering, regular welding requires some kind of flux or anti oxidating agent like an inert gas blowing on it while welding.

[@javiervalenzuela8284]

You could potentially use it to shape metal but you'd still need all the other tools. It's really not giving you that much, its best for criminal activities.

[@wizardthecat9808]

Don’t mean to be that guy, but the word arbitrary isn’t used properly here. I think you mean obsolete. Arbitrary means randomly selected or selected without logic/reason.

[@punishedbearzerker5400]

"Heat vision is useless." I don't know... it seems like it'd be hard for someone to mug me when I can set them on fire by looking at them.

[@Anon-qp3kt]

Who's going to mug you? 🤔

[@punishedbearzerker5400]

@@Anon-qp3kt Muggers

[@Darksky1001able]

@@punishedbearzerker5400 Have you been mugged?

[@brockmckelvey7327]

I know he has a point somewhere, but it does really just sound like a lack of imagination. Like, most of the fun of superhero comics is finding out *how* the characters are going to use their limited powers to solve the current problem. (The difference with Superman is finding out how he'll solve the problem without comprising his morals)

[@Divide204]

I agree. For his first example, I imagine with heat vision you could also preform welding if done correctly, or perhaps work in disaster relief or law enforcement by using heat vision to cut away rubble or barricades.

[@eclipsedarksouls6036]

Or how about something artistic like sculpting or blacksmithing? Sure it might not be "useful" in directly saving people's lives but we hold up a painting of some lady as a great accomplishment (the Mona Lisa). Imagine if someone Could sculp steel or stone like clay.

[@mad0813]

Nah it's not lack of imagination he's written amazing comics it's the fact that he just hates super powers and super heroes.

[@danielramsey6141]

@@mad0813 Yeah, I think that’s exactly his problem.

[@Dieci-9]

The point is, even most of the powers that seemingly look useless could be use to do powerful things with the right mind/ideas and given the user has talent for them.

[@thesilvanalyst6880]

The most underrated part of super speed is actually the ability to think and perceive at that speed too. You could learn at a ludicrous speed which would be useful in every possible skill you can imagine.

[@newt2120]

i always thought that was the best part of the power

[@WinningProduction420]

What if you had super speed without the super perception?

[@abcdefg-xm7dc]

Dumbest take of my life 🤣 Super speed can save lives in countless ways or you could rob banks before they noticed Heat vision is basically an invisible gun that also has many non-lethal uses

[@abcdefg-xm7dc]

@@ssebasgoo An InViSiBlE gUn IsNt UsEfUl

[@abcdefg-xm7dc]

@stryfetc1 yes mass mind control and mind reading is top tier powers

[@digi_edits]

I mean, if it's comic accurate irl, having all the different abilities The Flash has would be beneficial as heck. But If it is in a literal way, physics would make it useless. So he is right.

[@BestCupid]

They did mention in a flash comic that he does somehow break laws of physics . Just always thought that was a funny way writers excused the Flash's speed and powers

[@nakenmil]

@@BestCupid Well, they eventually introduced the "Speed Force" which for all intents and purposes is... well, magic. Well, it's some cosmic power bullshit, but you know what I mean.

[@parodysam]

The problem with the way they depict it in the Flash is say you’re assembling a piece of furniture. To the outside observer, it was assembled in an instant, but from the Flash’s perspective it still took forever.

[@CrniWuk]

@@nakenmil Well which super power in the comics isn't pretty much magic anyway? Be it from Superman to even Batman who has done things no human could ever do. And the explanation? Cuz hes Batman! I mean I love those characters but seriously Flash and his speed? That's the least of the issues in a world where you have basically god-like beings runing around.

[@julianborges1569]

@@CyberMurph1090-d5u interesting

[@CraigDemel]

>7:00 Wake up >7:05 Put the kettle on >7:06 Two slices bread in the toaster >7:07 Do the gardening >7:08 Run through the entire city punching ne'er-do-wells in the mouth >7:09 Get home, butter the toast, have tea on the porch. >7:16 Jog over to eastern Ukraine, snip all the wires in Russian airplanes and SAMs >7:17 Fix gazebo Super speed would be pretty awesome

[@YodasPapa]

You'd be pretty knackered after all that though. If I had super speed I'd be really fast at getting to my car and driving to Maccy's.

[@drake9634]

@@davidguyette2586 but flash could do that, he could literally run so fast he could walk on water

[@chrismanuel9768]

@@drake9634 He also had to consume enough food to give him the calories he was burning, literally eating tens of thousands of calories at a time and nearly dying when he didn't. He's constantly hungry, can't maintain body mass, broke his own arm and legs in some of his first fights, and is a supergenius physicist time traveler.

[@juice6521]

It takes your two minutes to put the kettle on and put two slices of bread in the toaster with super speed?

[@CraigDemel]

@@juice6521 The faucet is slow. Also, I don't want to burn the bread by slicing it too fast.

[@sergeantkilljoy905]

I fucking love this man's cynicism.

[@Sumschmuck]

It's not cynicism. It's just being whiny

[@Shockwave99999]

I’ve thought about this a few times and a lot of superpowers would be useless, but the very basic ones like flight, super strength, and super speed would be insanely useful for everyday activities.

[@doubledio3061]

Gimme an example , I’d argue most super powers would be busted op in real life if you thought about uses for more than 5 seconds

[@halflife2fun]

@@doubledio3061 super strength would be highly useful in most labor intensive jobs. Super speed doesn't have a too much work related but useful outside of it such as living in a low cost of living area but work in a high paying area hours or states away. Got nothing for flying through

[@darthfastball1150]

@@halflife2fun believe it or not, not everything has to be for profit. Maybe flying is just fun?? But if you had to go the profit route, you could easily become the greatest rescue resource of all time. It isn’t uncommon that someone gets stuck or stranded somewhere that there isn’t enough room or safety for helicopters or other means to help rescue people.

[@halflife2fun]

@@darthfastball1150 thank you for bringing up the rescue route because ive been trying to think of what just flight could accomplish that couldnt be done by speed

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

@@darthfastball1150 If the magnitude of the power was high you could single handedly advance space industry by reducing the cost of launch.

[@zxctgb]

Pizza delivery? Nah, I'd be running against Usain Bolt in the Olympics

[@BeingAMonkey]

If there are multiple speedsters, I would imagine Usain Bolt wouldn't be a factor.

[@marcospina162]

Actually I think u would get cancelled before because "that's not fair, only superpowerless people can participate in sport" XDD

[@solank7620]

@@parodysam If you crushed everybody at track, you'd get all the endorsements and the ladies.

[@MrTonyBarzini]

No mutants allowed Magneto

[@proxy90909]

@@parodysam You can beat any race and get sponsorships like anyone else, "easy" money like all super athletes

[@loodlebop]

I would have thought being a first response or emergency service would be a more practical and genuinely useful task for super speed. The heat vision depends on its power, it could help in medicine, science and the energy crisis. If you only have the power to cook an omelette, maybe not

[@mikedangerdoes]

While super speed might be useful for reaching someone quickly, you still have to carry some first aid equipment (which is presumably limited) and, in serious cases at least, you still have to wait for an ambulance to turn up to move someone. The other thing is, how super is this super speed? Are you running at the speed of sound? Or just the same speed as a car? And are you allowed to run on the footpath and present a danger to anyone minding their own business on a walk? Or do you have to run along the road and potentially get hit by a car that doesn't see a human running over a hundred miles an hour suddenly turning up in their blindspot? Don't get me wrong, it would be cool as hell to run fast. But I think he's making the point that, logically, there would be very few instances where having that power would be greater than anything modern technology and infrastructure already provides.

[@loodlebop]

@@mikedangerdoes the most life saving factor is the speed in which someone gets there. And no there is no on foot speed limit, you're looking for a problem where there isn't one

[@Lightningrevival]

@@loodlebop I think he's presenting challenges you didn't consider. It's very relevant how fast "super speed" is defined as. Where you can run,while going at hyper speed is also problematic; running faster doesn't make you intangible as far as I know. If we can assume no speed limit, we can also assume less time to react. Assuming things goes both ways.

[@loodlebop]

@@Lightningrevival I would imagine reaction time would need to be fast too as is the case for the flash. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to run by responding to each foot impact on the floor etc and you'd just be super speed flailing around on the floor

[@rafaelcastor2089]

@@mikedangerdoes What is better though: No care at all until the ambulance gets there or at least having someone already there that will have assessed the situation and do the parts that don't call for the ambulance equipment? Here is a common example: Car crash. They probably need the ambulance to handle it if it's something more than a minor crash, but you'd usually have to remove the people from the crashed cars, check their vitals and do first-aid if needed, none of which actually immediately call for an ambulance in the vast majority of cases and could save a substantial amount of time the ambulance spends standing still, which would benefit not only this would-be call but also would improve response time for the next one they'd get.

[@plcthelegacy4131]

"Some one who can grill hot dogs just by looking at them..." Kinda undid your argument there Alan."

[@squigg7107]

“What job would you get with super speed” gee, I dunno, competitive runner?

[@BearNecessities-X]

There would be no competition. If you're the only speedster, who can challenge you? They would disqualify and ban you from competing.

[@somegoodsoup7008]

Generating energy because I think you'd just be banned unless someone else has superspeed.

[@jms2116]

@@BearNecessities-X Then challenge cars or something

[@johnquicksall1432]

It would be like trans women competing against women.

[@georgogiannakis6123]

@@BearNecessities-X obviously you’d just jog slightly faster than the competition to keep things interesting

[@YodasPapa]

Thinking about superpowers is kinda frustrating because no one ever makes it clear what laws of physics we can break. Like, obviously super speed would break all kinds of laws, but what about basic conservation of energy. Do we need to eat like 200 000 calories to super-sprint 2000 miles? Do we get tired? etc. This is a problem with my own mind. I know it's just silly fun at the end of the day.

[@daniel-zh9nj6yn6y]

DC has something named the Speed Force, which all speedsters use. PS: I remember an episode of Justice League where they stop so Flash can eat a bunch of hotdogs.

[@Miraculix1987]

Heat-Vision could be a very powerfull renewable source of energy. :D

[@dopealien]

I think what you’re imagining is a dystopian world where people with superpowers are used as an energy source

[@Miraculix1987]

@@dopealien Yes, or a satire in which superheroes do a "normal" job and organize themselves in unions. The villain is minimum wage man.

[@zxctgb]

Selling energy to the grid could make ££££££

[@paulopaulada3920]

@@dopealien do you mean just like DK2?

[@Nellyontheland]

Absolutely. You could burn the core from the planet. Mwa ha haaaa.

[@TheiTzCynical]

Geez, for a man whose written some incredible and iconic stories, he has no imagination or life experience. "What good is super speed? Whats so important you have to be there so early?" Well for one, if I had super speed, I could've gotten my dad to the hospital much earlier when he had a artery blockage (he's okay). When my grandma suffered a stroke, I could've ran all the way to Mexico within seconds and taken her to the hospital, instead of having to wait 4 hours for the ambulance to take her which caused permanent damage which she never recovered from. Even in her old age, she was still lively and always on her feet. After the stroke she was bed ridden and could barely care for herself. Once when I was at work, my sister in law who lives across town called me because she was alone with the kids and she thought there were strangers checking our her house in the middle of the night. My brother (her husband) was away at a conference, and I'm the only one who had a gun, so naturally she called me. With super speed, I could've gotten there in seconds and gotten back before it became an issue (turned out to be nothing). He really can't think of any good use for super powers?

[@Scatmanseth]

There’s plenty of interesting things you can do with superpowers. I’m guessing Moore’s pointing out that those are only impressive when not being compared to the death defying heroics you typically find in comics.

[@devinmann3034]

“What job would you get with super speed” Hundred-million dollar contracts from every sports team in literally any sport you wanted to play.

[@PaulGaither]

Yes. Similarly with other super powers. Strength, flying and so forth. Like in the Incredibles, just be the best by a little bit more than other people and change the game. Make your ability to fly look like just being really good at jumping. Over power players in the NFL and/be "impossible" to tackle and/or be the best defender of all time.

[@ghuttsmckenzie4269]

You could get a job in any military to recon enemy territory, you could get a job loading and unloading lightweight cargo, you could deliver packages instantaneously, and you could decrease your fuel costs as well!

[@bitsbobs]

Heat vision: depending on strength, anywhere from military and welding Super speed: Doesn't matter what job, you're saving money on gas, but police officer/emergency personnel or just any work that doesn't need a set amount of time, like filing or paperwork.

[@javiervalenzuela8284]

You need more than heat to weld, but cutting for sure.

[@AaronWorkman03]

Him-why do u need super speed Me in the army- HEY PRIVATE WHY TF ARE U LATE TOO EASY..THE PUSH-UP GO

[@johngamer593]

That is the saddest, least imaginative description of superpowers I've ever heard in my entire life...what happened to this guy?

[@paintedlantern7248]

He used all his imagination up writing so now it's all gone and apparently he's now an idiot

[@Anon-qp3kt]

Saddest yes but is actually not least imaginative. Having superpowers means exploitation of it or it being so incredibly useless to daily lives that it's better to not have it.

[@johngamer593]

it's not about exploiting them, you're suddenly in possession of an incredible gift, you can either spend your life using it or completely leave it alone. His ideas though, of what he'd do with them are so bland and devoid of imagination that I feel like he could be bestowed the power of God and somehow still complain that his life is unfair because of all the things he still can't do...or worse, he'd somehow make life even more boring and tedious than it already is.. media.tenor.com/images/5c735243bd7bf04b6bbe5c5b55b28b72/tenor.gif

[@JoeJohnston-taskboy]

Moore does it again. New series in which super-powered people are not heroes, but working in soul-crushing jobs supervised by bitter, incompetent, non-superpowered bosses doing nearly meaningless work. Wait, I'm stealing that idea.

[@arskakarva7474]

He already did the concept in 1999 actually, it was one of his ABC imprint series called Top 10. It was about the police in a city where everyone is a superhero, alien, mad scientist, robot, god, or so and so. The heat vision example he's using is actually a background character there, he makes burgers and hot dogs at the department's canteen.

[@simianfinance7313]

Homelander comes to mind.

[@antigrav6004]

Do we really need more of that?

[@Anchor-Supreme]

Isn’t this just The Incredibles?

[@JoeJohnston-taskboy]

@@Anchor-Supreme Similar, but the boss is knowingly exploiting the powers for the super. In the Incredibles, Daddy Super was trying to hide who he was. There is something depressing about each scenario. To be special and to have to hide it is horrible. To have to take orders from lessers is also horrible.

[@Darkblade0926]

If you had super speed, what job would you have? "Uh, professional runner." "No, pizza delivery, obviously"

[@LuisRodriguez-kz7nt]

Sorry sir...profesional runner is reserved for non-superpowered humans

[@newt2120]

@@LuisRodriguez-kz7nt it's ok I'll just right slightly faster than the next guy

[@ethanpease5936]

I also thought Pizza.

[@jayguero2123]

They’ll call foul play. Why would anyone watch your marathons over and over again when they already know the end result? It’ll get boring for them, and no one would want to sponsor you.

[@விஷ்ணு_கார்த்திக்]

To be fair, a pizza delivery man that can deliver 10,000 pizzas in 10 minutes is going to make Bank.

[@AnimatedTerror]

Moore has the super power to weight amazing pieces and also be the ultimate buzzkill all at the same time. All in a days work for a wizard .

[@mayonnaise3959]

Seriously how did this man create fucking watchmen and than be a big ass buzzkill

[@rayshoesmith26]

I know thats a common meme that Moore is jaded but I really don't think he is.

[@ZelphTheWebmancer]

Ok, but hear me out for heat vision: heating up food without a microwave

[@ZelphTheWebmancer]

@championchap Things that use electricity or gas to operate While I can heat up things for free!

[@rafaelcastor2089]

@championchap Oh yeah, because those are always available the same way your eyes are and there isn't a single situation where lighting aa fire right then and there wouldn't be just as great at heating things up with your vision. Do you also think martial arts are worthless for modern combat because you could just have a gun instead?

[@alaron5698]

@championchap "What's the point of cars when you can just walk"

[@masterblaster8386]

@championchap okay what if you didn't have a stove microwave ect.

[@jinksomiabodyart3189]

🙂 welding... smh, any high temperature involving process.

[@Clogmonger]

“If you think about it…” *Proceeds to show how little he’s thought about it*

[@xavierlegaz7464]

The guy that redifined modern superheroes thought little about superpowers?

[@Clogmonger]

@@xavierlegaz7464 🤣 he writes good comics, dont oversell it though dude. He ain’t redefined shit, and this video is a perfect example of why.

[@xavierlegaz7464]

@@Clogmonger I'm not overselling anything. Literally all American superhero comic books made after Watchmen were inspired by it. Read any book about the subject.

[@Clogmonger]

@@xavierlegaz7464 🙄 go be a fanboy elsewhere. This video is just a dumb as shit opinion, as is yours.

[@arturzinurov4781]

@@xavierlegaz7464 he literally argued that superspeed would be useless like how privileged is this mf that he doesn’t understand that commute to your work either by car or public transport fucking sucks and expensive.

[@matt-vw6gp]

He’s looking narrowly and very pessimistically about superpowers, I love where his thinking got us but it’s not necessarily correct.

[@reservoirfrogs2177]

It's a logical take on it though. Superheros use superpowers mostly for fighting super villains

[@jmgonzales7701]

@@reservoirfrogs2177 i like his take on superheroes its a realistic take.

[@njux1871]

being superfast would save me SO much money. I'd just never have to use public transport. He's crazy lol

[@thedoubleuw239]

@@jmgonzales7701 it’s not really though, super speed, get everywhere on time without a car or transport and many more things depending on how fast you can go and how you can controller it. Heat vision? Depends again on how you can control it.

[@silentlamb21]

@@njux1871 yeah, you yourself. If you are always traveling alone, thats fine I guess but if you have a family, you can't really take them with you. You also probably can't earn good money from being superfast.

[@TacosAreWizard]

“What would heat vision be good for?” Winning arguments

[@Sacrer]

That reminds me of Raimi's Spider-Man delivering pizzas since he could swing without bothering the traffic.

[@casanovafunkenstein5090]

Now I've got that fucking Spider Man 2 pizza delivery theme stuck in my head

[@Ronin3453]

Pizza time!

[@AimlessSavant]

And he was still FIFTEEN MINUTES LATE

[@senbrisbane5352]

I would start smelling metals. Super speed is good for doing calculations and building. All super powers are as practical or overpowered depending on the writer or the imagination of the wielder.

[@pomponi0]

Agreed. There's a show called Misfits where one of the most dangerous villains is a guy with Lactokinesis lmao

[@CharlieNoodles]

Given that this clip is from Moore’s masterclass on writing, that’s kind of his point. But you still missed the point because you listed some incredibly mundane tasks that don’t require superpowers to achieve.

[@YodasPapa]

@@pomponi0 He can move milk? Or just Lactose? I would love to see the moment that was pitched.

[@krosskreut3463]

I think its where he is right, writers are like to keep all in secret, and when its revealed they dont do a lot of interesting things, super speed could be fun for cop works or great use for firefighters to save all in the less time, speed tests and collision ones (from the speed throw a reck and see what happens), science to do experiments that would require really fast combinations to not say explode laser vision or heat one could have great uses in modern day as smelting, engraving, melting, powersource (even from a basic body energy could be interesting) Camaleon skin aside from militar would be great for artist to understand better colour, test with no cost combinations of colour, diferent stetic sectors would love such ability even if it is for ads, super strenght ,aside from law enforce , can be used to safer construction sites, great bodyguards, material resistance test (with diferent weapons to test say reinforced glass for situations) All could be interesting with imagination and what if

[@rafaelcastor2089]

@@CharlieNoodles "You don't need martial arts to defend yourself. You could just get a gun and shoot." This is the kind of logic Alan and you are defending here.

[@dandyjesus]

If Spiderman could shoot hot cheese from his hands, he would have mozzarella fingers.

[@CrniWuk]

Well than he would be Cheeseman not Spiderman, no? But where would he have been biten by a radioactive mozzarella?

[@dandyjesus]

@@CrniWuk It was not meant to be consistent. But while we are at it: why not call him Brieman or Goudaman?

[@harley8047]

He would also have burnt hands.

[@silly_on_]

@@harley8047 😔

[@ADayintheLifeoftheTw]

Da fuqs wrong with you boy?!

[@abiduestafelu]

"what job could you get with super speed?" I would steal shit if I can't get a good job, 0 doubt.

[@MMAddict39]

Exactly! Many super powers may not have a legitimate use in day to day activities but if you're willing to use them for crime/villainy the uses go up exponentially!

[@BOBAFETT25882]

I think he’s so angry and betrayed that he hates everything “breathing… why would you want to live”?

[@ladygodeeva785]

😂😂😂

[@NeoDragonCount]

I may disagree with Alan Moore on many things, but as a writer I will always respect him and his craft. And I've come to sympathize and agree with his views on Hollywood.

[@benstevinson764]

Alan Moore is a Warlock 🧙‍♂️

[@crudnom7090]

I get his point already, he’s so totally right a lot of powers have no practical application outside of being a super hero, but there’s definitely a lot of utility and being able to run fast and be anywhere instantly man 💀

[@hotsauceproteinshake]

Super speed is incredibly useful, especially if you decide to be a professional athlete. Hell, any situation in which physical activity is necessary would be made extremely easy with super speed. Heat vision has more niche uses but there's ways to effectively have heat vision in real life already though.

[@sebastiendennis2648]

I think you'd probably get banned from most sporting events if you had super speed. Aside from that though, yeah there's nearly nothing that you WOULDN'T want to be able to do faster, especially beyond travel. Thinking at super speed would help with making comebacks, learning new things, decision making etc. The only thing that wouldn't help with is anxiety.

[@killer-moth2664]

It’s strange to see a man so well known for his creative work demonstrate such a dedication to being willfully unimaginative.

[@jimmyvolakis5194]

says they’re useless then proceeds to list useful ways to use them…

[@slowhands1424]

This is exactly what it sounds like when you don't have any imagination to speak of

[@bright-noise]

Maybe so but Alan Moore has an objectively wild and expansive imagination so I wouldn’t take it at face value

[@VOZmonsoon]

Yeah... some people in the comments are really putting this guy on a pedestal based solely on his career. And I'm sure the man is a genius, but out of context this clip does him no favours 💀

[@maaz322]

No, please list a single use being endowed with a superpower has on humanity on a larger scale? Grow up.

[@vaxrvaxr]

@@maaz322 Regeneration would save a lot of medical bills.

[@Anon-qp3kt]

@@vaxrvaxr Regeneration also means if you have cancer, that cancer will never go away. Cancer are your own cells that can't stop regenerating. Also, you will probably live forever and that's a different kind of hell in and of itself

[@elmarky3700]

Well, super-speed might make you the Olympics undefeated champion for sure... 😅

[@krishanSharma.69.69f]

But you are not the only one with that super speed.

[@kawaii_pankat4461]

But hey, gotta go fast sometimes ya know?

[@I_like_big_boobs]

@@krishanSharma.69.69f huh

[@krishanSharma.69.69f]

@@I_like_big_boobs I mean to say someone will eventually defeat you even if you had a superpower. Because someone must be having a superpower which is stronger than yours.

[@I_like_big_boobs]

@@krishanSharma.69.69f since when did other people have superpowers tho? And even if other people did why would the try to “defeat” me

[@captcrunch2580]

I'm not really into most super hero stuff but, this may have been the dumbest thing I've heard anyone say in a while. There are still normal bad guys out there do you know how much governments would pay for someone with super speed to clear out terrorist caves before they knew what happened and without any casualties?

[@paulopaulada3920]

damn, what a naive view of the world.

[@mikhaelgribkov4117]

@@paulopaulada3920 damn, no point and no actual refutal? Like, dude actually said how you can use powers and you didn't brought anything that you can't do it.

[@trustmeimmexican]

Alan: Most superpowers are useless. Batman: Finally...

[@umbraoni4550]

Dude: "Super speed is useless" Flash: "Hold my speed force"

[@Epictimereal]

Man really called Alan Moore “Dude”

[@cartoonworld92]

Peter Parker worked a pizza delivery man, he would always choose to do his job like everybody else would first and foremost even when he's the sole person able to swing through the streets with his powers. Responsibilities should matter to just about anybody capable of using super powers.

[@optimchs1]

Reminds me of a line from my favorite novel, in a conversation between a young warrior and an old archmage: "Why not use your magic to make the tea?" Max asked. "Tell me, boy, do you shave with that sword of yours?" After a confused look from Max, Bram continued; "Of course you don't. Dangerous tools are not needed for simple tasks. The kettle is on, the tea will be hot soon. Now sit."

[@SurprisinglyDeep]

While I can totally see Peter Parker doing that due to his guilt complex and I respect Peter's morals and ethics, that's f***ing stupid. The main issue hindering Peter Parker's ability to be a more productive and efficient superhero is his money woes. Efficiently delivering many pizzas would help mitigate that issue. He's not going to get rich delivering pizzas. It's a lower middle class job at best. There's pretty much no way he can "exploit" his super powers to get rich delivering pizzas in an immoral way. Also what if Peter was driving his moped delivering a pizza and then saw an armed mugger holding up an innocent civilian? He'd either have to waste precious time changing into his costume or stop them without wearing a costume and risk his secret identity. Peter commutes while web swinging and dressed as Spider-Man ALL THE TIME. (Even when he was super broke once in the comics, he once dressed as Spider-Man and literally rode on top of the train instead of web swinging all the way to work.) He clearly has no moral qualms about using his Spider-Man powers and costume for personal use. There's nothing inherently immoral about using web swinging to deliver pizzas. The pizzeria owner and the other delivery drivers would probably appreciate having a fast co-worker as long as he did not unintentionally "take away" deliveries from other co-workers by doing too many too fast. So long as he kept the deliveries within a reasonable time frame using web swinging, I'm sure his co-workers might even actually appreciate him relieving pressure on them from having to deliver pizzas within unreasonably short time frames at times. Also he could really help improve the revenues of a small struggling pizzeria that could only afford to hire one delivery man per shift. (There are 8 million people living in NYC, meaning that few if any pizzerias go out of business due to lack of sales due to lack of customers. Also even if Peter and the struggling pizzeria were super efficient, if it's a centrally located pizzeria then there's no way that Peter and the struggling pizzeria could ever make enough pizzas to satisfy the demand of everyone craving pizza due peak hours. Peter and the financially struggling pizzeria unintentionally "stealing" sales from other pizzerias is not really that big of a moral concern. That being said if Peter found out he WAS unintentionally somehow "stealing" sales from other pizzerias, then he could just slow down his delivery times somewhat.) Also him having to pay for gas for the moped cuts into the profits he needs to pay his bills in order to keep his living situation stable so that he can reguarly successfully help people as a superhero. The only 2 good reasons to not deliver pizzas by web swinging would be if he could not deliver pizzas that way without unintentionally ruining the pizzas and/or the cost of web fluid made it unprofitable for him to deliver pizzas that way

[@cartoonworld92]

@@SurprisinglyDeep what is f***ing stupid his moral code or what I said specifically?

[@baldawen]

@@optimchs1 he’s a bad mage then or the magic of their universe doesn’t do well with mundane tasks. Anyway, this isn’t really a point. If you can do something faster or better with no downsides then there is no reason not to do it unless you want to relax.

[@optimchs1]

@@baldawen it's sold in the novel as a different point of view granted by extreme power. They point out that any 5th year student would heat the kettle with fire magic, because they see it as a more or less mundane tool to accomplish tasks, which is about the extent of their abilities. Elias Bram, the archmage, has done things like create a separate universe to store the essence of his 'True name' so no one might use it against him. His perspective on the use of magic is colored by the monumental tasks he can accomplish. In the book he's also a bit of a mountain-man self sufficient type, so it's part of his character as well.

[@jaylee6083]

Damn Mr. Claws went to an interview and said that most superpowers are useless

[@ammagon4519]

He only becomes jolly during December lol

[@zachclawges6932]

The ultimate benefit of super speed is extra time. You cut out your travel time, you can complete any task in an instant. You have more time

[@buoydix]

Damn this guy is unimaginative. Super speed would allow you to disarm your enemies, allow you to get people to safety, tie up the bad guy and grab the donut that you dropped as your "stop watch" before it even hits the ground.

[@thedeadd.c.207]

You really just called the writer of Watchman, From Hell, League of Extraordinary Gentleman, and the writer who made DC's Swamp Thing comics good, unimaginative. You called him unimaginative. WOW!!! How about, instead of being an ass and moaning about the creativity of others, when you yourself are contributing NOTHING creative and sharing it with the world. You try and do better, or say nothing. And you're missing the point he's trying to make. If you couldn't pick up on the point he's making, then you need to go back to school.

[@buoydix]

@@thedeadd.c.207 how about I continue to say what I want and you quit being a dink that seems to think I'm not allowed to say it. Get bent.

[@buoydix]

@@thedeadd.c.207 if anything I'll double down if you keep coming at me.

[@buoydix]

@@thedeadd.c.207 listening to the man, again, I agree with what I originally stated. This man is completely unimaginative if he can't think of good uses for superpowers. He's pretty lame, in my eyes, for putting down such a writing style, while giving such poor examples as to why he even thinks it's dumb. He's not just unimaginative in his ability to created a proper super power, his argument was just as unimaginative. This guy is as arrogant as you are.

[@buoydix]

@@thedeadd.c.207 had he said something like, "if you rely on superpowers to carry your story, then you don't know how to write a good super hero." I would absolutely agree with that sentiment. I'm writing a book series, based on the future and not a single one of them of super powers. Mostly because I want it to be tied to reality as much as possible, but also because you can get pretty impressive with tech fantasy without going out of the bounds of reality, too much. I get that you're a fan boy and I insulted your idol, but the man is human. And, based on this short, I'd call him unimaginative.

[@rafaelcarrera9436]

Alan Moore: "...most superpowers are useless." Batman: "That's what I've been saying for years!"

[@coopdville855]

This is the first interview with Alan Moore that I've ever seen. So why do I find myself nodding and thinking "Classic Alan Moore! Just what I've come to expect him to say." But how!? How have I come to expect anything!? Sure,I've read some of his various works. I had no idea that doing so had given me such a strong impression of how he must speak and behave,let alone how accurate that impression was.

[@ammagon4519]

I've only heard of him and some of his works, I didn't know his mind was THAT pessimistic.

[@coopdville855]

@@ammagon4519 it's often a very fine line between a pessimistic mindset and an either pragmatic or realist one. As someone who often comes off as pessimistic, I'm compelled to defend what he says here as being more pragmatic in my opinion than anything else. Clearly he IS prone to a pessimistic point of view, which is true of me as well. I don't think that anyone could say what he says here without having had a certain amount of world weary cynicism baked into their brain. But I don't know.... I'm willing to bet that a long conversation with the guy would make what he says here look absolutely naive and idealistic. His work gives off the same impression. There's a built in cynicism and misanthropy,but I wouldn't call the work itself cynical or misanthropic. ....if that actually makes any sense....

[@griszrox]

I find it striking that he didnt think about soldiers as the first thing

[@zyguy8009]

I understand his point and many super powers definitely would be impractical to use in everyday life, but some of them would be more than useful. The first one that comes to mind is Shadow Clones from Naruto. Assuming you have a large enough chakra reserve like Naruto, you could create a large amount of clones and have them do as many tasks as possible, from things like cleaning the house or learning how to speak a new language, and they will not only disappear when their task is completed but then transfer anything they learned back to you. Imagine how quickly you could learn how to do stuff with that

[@AzureRadio]

I disagree. With enough creativity and dedication ANY power could be helpful in daily life. There is a reason in One Piece its said that there is no BAD Devil Fruit, just challenging ones to use. Every single superpower is a blessing, you just have to wb creativity enough to use it. ALL of them

[@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312]

@@AzureRadio same thing with stands in jojos The weakest stands in jojos are basically useless but people always find a use for them

[@zyguy8009]

@@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312 I thought stands work in the context of JoJo because you are fated to run into other stand users, what except murder can you do with the Grateful Dead? I know the powers can be technically useful but a lot are basically reserved for killing someone

[@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312]

@@zyguy8009 that’s because he’s a killer look at Tonio his stand makes him cook so good he can cure cance

[@zyguy8009]

@@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312 Right, I'm not saying there aren't useful abilities I'm saying not every ability is useful

[@fatterperdurabo42069]

Alan Moore is what you become when of all the problems the world faces, you decide that people liking superheroes is the most important

[@inquisitionagent9052]

"What job would you get with super speed?" Usain Bolt: gee... I wonder? 🤔

[@michaelwalsh9616]

Feel like that opens up a can of worms. The concept of superpowers being used in competitive sports. For example when there be a laws preventing people with super strength from participating in games like shot putt? Would there have to be another Olympics dedicated to superhumans? Wouldn't there be laws and regulations so that the playing field is balanced between superhumans?

[@ReuploadArchivist]

Alan Moore was hungry in this interview

[@ryanbeadle7182]

Imagine pulling up to the smoke spot and lighting your blunt with heat vision. Me:1 this dude:0

[@bepisthescienceman4202]

"Yoah hans we need to get this party lit" *shoots heat at bong* *party goers cheer*

[@ammagon4519]

Ah yes, that dude lol.

[@oberon5657]

lmao, take my like

[@remc0s]

Alan Moore is the poster boy for the saying "never meet your heroes." I absolutely love his work, but i'm sure a discussion about any topic would end in a fight.

[@ammagon4519]

Tfw you ask him about the weather and he somehow managed to turn the entire topic into greenhouse gas emissions and china's overusage of coals

[@basedbattledroid3507]

I'd actually love to be a short-order chef who cooks pizzas just by looking at them and have a friend who home delivers them with their super speed.

[@N1korasu]

Do you want pizza and want it fast? Call Hot Eyes Pizza we'll be there in a flash!

[@theseusblackwell5252]

Alan Moore imagining a universe where, if we're honest, most people granted powers would just do mundane shit.

[@eyeseer1]

Sounds like something Alan Moore would write; a surrealist fiction on the foibles of human nature.

[@snovid3306]

Of course, Alan is trying to teach us about writing comics. His remarks point out that the superpowers in DC or Marvel are invented in a way to be story-generators and that is a cheesy concept. I'm sure he later on moves on to explaining what good writer does, instead of such cheap tricks. In "Top 10" both grilling with heat vision and super speedy food delivery are shown as low-paying jobs. The concepts for the main characters are much deeper

[@MarshallTheArtist]

Super speedy delivery would be a high paying job, due to its high efficiency. I could make $100/hr driving for Uber Eats during dinner rush if I could run like the flash. Far more money if I didn't have to wait for restaurants to finish cooking. Maybe I could cancel those orders and make $1000/hr. I could make seven figures working twenty hours a week.

[@dannyloks22]

“Darkseid” has entered the chat 💬

[@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286]

Darkseid has omega beams, not heat vision

[@mayonnaise3959]

@@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286 omega beams are literally heat vision but on an atom level

[@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286]

@@mayonnaise3959 they are dark fire energy🔥🌑, not light☀️

[@mayonnaise3959]

@@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286 heat vision isn’t light either

[@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286]

@@mayonnaise3959 Superman☀️ heat vision is light☀️. Sun light☀️

[@thatguy5543]

Wow, never would have thought that such a creative person had so little imagination

[@luffytard7512]

"super powers are completely useless and have no use in the real world... Okay so to prove my point I'm going to name a few useful things super powers have in the real world"

[@wiilov]

"What job would you have" Nothing because with super powers, literally any of them, I don't have to participate in this joke of a system anymore.

[@MidnightLobster7]

You still need money

[@cybergecko1]

@@MidnightLobster7 why would I need money if I am fast enough to take what I want without consequences