Mother-In-Law Doesn’t Respect My Boundaries and Resents Me!

[@FR-tb7xh]

Before marrying, my husband’s mom was delightful. We truly enjoyed each other’s company, and I loved her. When my husband and I married, it’s as if a switch flipped. Out of left field, my MIL would throw barbs, each one more stinging than the prior. And every time, I was dumbstruck, too muchso to respond. It made no sense. And my husband convinced me every instance was a benign misunderstanding. After about 10 years of this (yes, I’m slow on these things), it hit me - the happier my husband and I were together, the more threatened she felt. I was an engineer, had a fabulous and lucrative career with a national laboratory, was over the moon with our first baby, and loved my husband. She would berate me for not being a fulltime housewife - that I was taking a man’s job. That my cooking (pheasant stews, non-iceberg lettuces, French crepes) was too ‘foreign.’ That our guest sheets were too scratchy. Or we had the wrong kind of toilet paper. Or that I’d used the wrong clean kitchen towel to dry one holiday’s dishes so she got up in the middle of the night to rewash every dish, glass, and pot by hand again. One day, after one particularly outrageous remark, her insecurity was so obvious, I felt a powerful wave of sympathy for her. I can only describe it as divine intervention. I wrapped my arms around her and told her, “I love you.” It knocked the very wind out of her sails. She never lobbed over the net again.

[@Shaara1]

My grandma used to be like that too. Constantly firing my dad up against my mom. When she was at home as housewife, she kept telling my dad how lazy my mom is, why does she expect dad provide alone, why can't she have her fair share snd find a job like every other wives. Then she got a job and she kept telling dad what an irresponsible mother she is, what sort of woman goes to work and leaves her home whe there is so much to do in a household.... There was always something. She always found the way to hurt her through my dad. My mom died young. After that she became grandma's favourite daughter in law. Even managed to squeeze out a teardrop once in a while when she talked about mom. She died since, and we never been too close. I guess it's just better to ignore these remarks.

[@jessicahicks8108]

Me too! It got a million times worse when I had kids she has no boundaries.

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

You're a better woman than me. I thought you were gonna say you wrapped your arms around her and wrestled her...🤭🤭🤭 Glad your strategy worked better though.

[@DD-sp9lu]

You are truly incredible woman. Your husband, children and MIL are very lucky to have you. I believe this is my first such comment; couldn’t help myself.

[@suebabe100]

You are a classy lady!

[@SherryEllesson]

I am SO thrilled for this young woman that her husband is a grown-up! Toxic in-laws acting in childish, manipulative ways have probably been a big ingredient in the failure of more marriages than any of us knows.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

Mine ended after 26 long years when my husband went to dinner with his mom and sister and came home and said the marriage was over….. because mom said it was a mistake

[@jimcole6423]

Was mine.

[@SherryEllesson]

@@jimcole6423 My heart goes out to you.

[@starlingswallow]

Exactly!! Thank God he's not a son-husband like some men become 😢 I'm so happy for her! Set those boundaries and hold to them ❤ Exercising boundaries is an act of self love and self respect. If you don't have them, people will see your lack of self respect and will be more than happy to disrespect you, too. ❤

[@MW-nh6sc]

Almost did our marriage in. After almost nine years of trying to get along with a toxic MIL who completely ignored all boundaries. She has ONE son (only child) and was basically “married” to him. I finally had to cut her completely out of my life. Marriage was in a shambles but way better now and getting better. Lots of counseling and woke up to the gaslighting, lies, and yes, even her stalking me ...just insanity when I look back now.

[@Nayahpooh012]

She has some nerve asking that man to bring his kids without their MOTHER! The nerve!

[@devadii24]

I actually know a few situations like this 😢

[@Diana-sb4yl]

I married into another culture, where his parents would not want me or our child to visit, so we sat in the car whilst he visited them.

[@itsshevyb]

​@Diana-sb4yl im not sure why so many cultures allow disrespect and racism to go unchecked. I would let my husband go alone while we stayed home

[@sanditarin4828]

Kudos to her husband, my husband never stood up for me and I eventually stopped going over to in laws.

[@intuitive_duck]

Sounds like MIL doesn't want to let go of her adult baby boy & wants to spite the woman who did it.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

Sadly such a common thing. I always find it being a continuing thing fascinating since most all wives seem to get that treatment and you’d imagine the cycle would get broken at some point with someone becoming a MIL and not wanting to treat their husbands wife the way they got treated.

[@jessicahicks8108]

I couldn't fathom treating my kids spouse the way I have been treated! I am breaking the cycle.

[@raccuia1]

She's a classic narcissist. Very dangerous creature. She would also likely be gossiping lies around about the DIL. They are rubbish, get rid of them.

[@cutehumor]

KJV "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;"

[@solstice1681]

That's how it should be, for my husband is the other way around he cleaves to his mother and father and leaves his wife. They're very toxic people, they think they are doing the right thing, they really do and I'm sure in their hearts they feel they're being good parents but they have ruined my marriage, it's to the point where my MIL called me to insult me telling me that her son can get drunk whenever he feels like it, either at home our at bars with friends and it doesn't matter if my children see him like that, I'm not allowed to say anything at all.

[@latashalea944]

Apparently these so called followers/believers/christians don’t comprehend that particular verse. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@pmeehan_3]

Just because the husband stands up for his wife to his mom DOESN'T mean the his mom raised him right. It could be he's sick of her toxic behaviour.

[@PhotoAmbrosia]

My 'outlaws' ruined my marriage, my then husband was weak and sided with the parents in ridiculus circumstances.

[@SherryEllesson]

4 hrs away is the perfect distance! Go, Sierra! Having parents nearby is cool but you don't want them TOO close.

[@johniii8147]

Yeah, that's a reasonable distance. They are close enough if they really wanted to go they could with some frequency. They probably just don't want to play by the house rules that husband and wife have every right to set for their family. Doesn't matter if the grandparents agree with them or not. Part of raising children is to teach them how to make their own decisions and choices.

[@linhc9552]

If the in-laws are controlling, they'll find a way to interfere. If they're independent, they won't interfere your life even if you're living together. If you wanna live with your children in the same house, each of you must be independent and busy with your own thing so that you don't have time for fights. Each couple must have a separate floor with a separate kitchen, toilet, and bedroom to minimize conflict arising from using the same room together. That's how my parents have been living in harmony with me, my sisters and brothers-in-laws. We have separate life but we can quickly help each other when needed.

[@KidCity1985]

Don't worry about it, she won't live forever. My son moved away to stay with his wife. I wouldn't have it any other way. He's living his best life.

[@johniii8147]

See that's what good parents do. Want to raise the children to be good people and have their own life. You're children are not your possessions you get to try control when they are grown. With that attitude they will be happy to have you involved in their lives as they have their own family.

[@lifeaccordingtotheo9643]

The pregnant woman or soon to be mom of a newborn and other toddlers should not be the one traveling anyways! That's asking too much! It's hard to travel with little kids.

[@johniii8147]

Any rational person knows that. The parents probably just want their rules. They haven't accepted little boy grew up and now has his own family that is now the priority.

[@ChrisAndCats]

You could also argue that parents are younger and generally physically fitter than grandparents, so they're more capable of travelling. However, in these circumstances, you're supposed to work together and create a mutually acceptable solution, though.

[@rosec8101]

I feel the struggle with in-laws. I was intentionally disrespect by my husband's family before I was married, when I got engaged, and married. So we distanced ourselves. Then I got pregnant and they want to come over every week. You don't get to completely change a relationship once a person wins the lottery.

[@Missdaphanyma13]

Same!

[@Life23Live]

Thank you !!! My mil hated my guts for years when I was first in the picture called me names blocked me didn't come to family events even our wedding ! The moment she found out I was pregnant she did a 360 . My husband was on my side until that day claimed I was selfish for not wanting his family around me so I put a smile on my face and been nice for the past 2 years now . She has crossed boundaries ofcourse but I also put my foot down . I just feel the hate and tension when we are in the same room and I hate it .

[@totallyrufus]

My mother in law tried to stop pur marriage. My husband chose me and didn't listen to his mom. It's been a year since he has spoken to her because he set boundaries and she crossed them 100%. She always grew very resentful when we both set boundaries. She doesn't even know that I'm 5 months pregnant and we don't want her knowing until we see a change in her hate and manipulation. Because if she knows I'm pregnant, she may try to manipulate her way in and ignore the boundaries. We also need to protect our child because she is convinced everyone is out to get her and she sees "shadow people"

[@totallyrufus]

​@Life23Live My husband's mom hates me as well. He promised me he would never make me be around her as long as she hates me and he protects me from her. She told him she wanted to call me to have a word with me and he straight up told her "No" He said anything she has to say to me, she can say infront of him but if it's something even slightly rude, he told her to stay away from me and him. The wife always comes first. And the husband comes first for the wife. The end. Our lives are peaceful now without her in it.

[@goodintentionslifecoaching]

Try 22 years of not being accepted into your husbands family. How about waiting 15 years before getting married because you never got their blessing. Yeah my life in a nut shell dealing with a narc MIL. My MIL uninvited me to my own sons birthday party to Disney, thanksgiving,Christmas,and many family events. My husband didn’t play that game either. . The DR is right you have to morn the fantasy and starting living in reality. These types of mother-in-law‘s never change no matter how hard you try to make the relationship work. The only thing you can do is wash your hands clean of that relationship and live your best life. Don’t stress yourself out over people who will never change. The doctors right they are missing out in your children’s life you’re not missing out in theirs!

[@Shaara1]

I teach in in high school. Mainly boy classes. I told them the other day that once they get married, their wives going to take the first place in their lives. Not their mother. They were outraged!:) We will be in trouble if they don't grow out of under mama's wings by the time they marry someone.

[@KayQhosa]

Thank you for doing that. Very true.

[@devadii24]

Even the bible says a man must leave his mother and father and become 1 with his wife… even animals leave the nest 🪹 Well done 👍🏼

[@norwegianbee849]

My father in law called my husband while he was at work . He told him he needed to get something off his chest , he started yelling at him and telling him what my duties are as a wife.

[@starlingswallow]

Wth??????😮

[@richat8808]

That happened with my husband too just yesterday.

[@pattimartin859]

Exactly.......as I said above

[@amberdeterman5815]

This happened to us. Then my husband argued back and his dad didn't speak to us for 5 years. It was great. 🎉

[@mst-pierrem5729]

Omg!! 😮😮😮 Imagine receiving this stuff at work.... So sorry!!

[@sharroon7574]

My husband used to visit his parents without me, I didn't like the way I felt around them at all. I was always welcome to be there and be treated disrespectfully😂

[@THB_M888]

I didn’t allow my in-laws to visit until after 3 months when I gave birth to my second child. They traumatised me when they stirred drama when I had my first child. They are resentful I put up some boundaries but they asked for it.

[@Chessica450-m3d]

🎉🎉🎉🎉 3 months post baby is perfect!! 3 months of blissful peace with your new little family❤❤❤❤

[@Laura-kv7bl]

My mother in law adores the other daughter in law and her other son, but she wants nothing to do with me, and has never celebrated any of the accomplishments my husband has made. I’m pregnant with her third grandchild, I’m the mother of all of her grandchildren. And she doesn’t care how I am, but she wants to see the boys for holidays and I told my husband that I cannot handle being around her until I’m recovered postpartum and she will not have access to my kids until she acts better.

[@evrclr76]

As you should

[@Maverick-zy7yu]

Omg I resonate with your comment the most! My husband and i have accomplished so much and its never a big deal to her, didn’t congratulate me for my 2nd birth, and i will not tolerate get postpartum for my third. We just bought our second home didn’t congratulate us. She was so mean to me last time she came to visit and its sucks bc my husband is always at work when theyre here. But thanks for the idea i will tell my husband im not tolerating her postpartum!

[@ShelleySorenson]

Don't keep your kids away from their grandparents unless there is a really good reason. Kids need their grandparents.

[@jennifersilves4195]

​@@ShelleySorensonNo they don't. Children should stay away from anyone who denigrates their parents.

[@fyi1985]

​@user-yf6cd9bb8t from what I see on these post...ITS all good reasons! Yes, I'm a grandma too.

[@kimmyymmik]

I have the worst mother in law. But thanks to her I won’t be this way with my future daughter in law.

[@tiffaninichole]

Absolutely!! I refuse to treat any woman my son is married to the way I was treated! I will have boundaries! And I want to be a joy not an obligation!

[@jessicahicks8108]

Me too! I developed anxiety because of how she was. I have gone complete no contact because it is the only way to have sanity. Every thing I tell her not to do with my kids she purposely does just to spite me. She expects MY kids to go spend mother's day with her and leave me home. No it's mother's day not grandmother's day! I would never treat someone the way I have been treated and now that I have a grown child I can't imagine doing that to my son either!

[@Eyemknotthe1]

Seriously thought I was alone in this kind of toxicity. Glad to know I’m not alone. I will never treat someone the way my in laws have abused me.

[@suebabe100]

That was me and now I'm a mother-in-law who adores her girls even more because of what I went through. Even IF I didn't like them I would honor them because my sons chose them. Period.

[@bigmama818]

My husband’s family never has accepted me as part of the family . We have been married over 40 years and have three children .

[@jwise7777]

The family with the small kids gets preference on family events. It's much harder for them to travel, etc.

[@Texan_Gal]

I’m in the same situation. Some people just need to be ignored and blocked off.

[@mamajojovegan]

You want your son and your grandkids to visit you and not his legal wife, the mother of your grandchildren. Her husband is a good man. He nib it in the bud. " No mom she is my wife." Mother in law has a bad marriage and she could not leave now she sees her son loving and caring for his wife and children, they are Happy. Her son is treating his wife well when she has a flashback and think about her bad marriage she transfer all that to her innocent daughter in law.

[@beebee2781]

We are having the same issue. My MIL just had an epic meltdown because my husband told her we wanted to have Christmas at our house this year (and they were invited) instead of us traveling to them. We live 45 mins away.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

It’d amazing how upset they’ll be that their sons family would date to have their family owns Christmas plan. My parents always had a big family Christmas on Christmas Day but that changed since my three siblings all have children. We still have a big Christmas at their house but we do it at the beginning of January so all the kids can have Christmas in their own houses.

[@eliocosmos]

This sounds amazing. Someone else is hosting and I just show up, bring a bottle of wine and enjoy? What’s the downside. If she won’t go, can I come?

[@ChrisAndCats]

​@angelmax404 the downside is having to leave your peace and quiet, and travel at Christmas with masses of others to go and behave under someone elses traditions and procedures and not relax. I'd rather not go anywhere, but also I'd rather not have anyone come to me either as it's my only time off in the whole year (2 weeks annually). So leave me alone with my tree and hobbies - or even to relax - just for a day or two (Christmas day, boxing day), and I'm good to go for the rest of it.

[@jennifert2953]

Avoiding the long drawn out conversations… wow. That one tip is life changing. With I could have done this years ago.

[@Oce67]

I was married 28 years and my mother-in-law never wanted me around. She told me the night before wedding not to marry her son. I told him what she said he said he didn’t care what she said. Two years later we moved to another state I was so happy, when we did go visit it was so hard. I just sat there and said nothing we didn’t talk. The few times she visited us she was so noisy going thru every cabinet and closet when kids got older she would ask them questions that no one should ask. I regret marrying him I wished I had walked away that night. He never wanted to know my family.

[@freeamerican1565]

One thing I wish I would hav redone… find in-laws who respect and adore me…..

[@carylhalfwassen8555]

My DIL is very kind and supportive and spends holidays with us. But her own mother died before any of the grandchildren were born so we have bonded more than might have been expected otherwise. When she had a difficult pregnancy I made many of her maternity clothes, even a semi-formal dress for her brother’s wedding when she was 7 1/2 months pregnant.

[@lifeswork4550]

It’s been 16 years of my marriage in a toxic situation. Glad you put the boundaries in now versus decades of pain.

[@jefftube58]

Working on it for 5 years is five years too long. If your mother-in-law won't respect boundaries you have set, she's telling you she has no respect for you and doesn't care what you think. Working on that isn't going to solve the problem. You and your husband create giant boundaries that she cannot possible mistake. She's earned them by disrespecting you. Move or whatever else you have to do and daily, daily, keep those giant boundaries in place, including changing your phone number and not giving it to ANY member of the family because she will be calling them trying to get it. Only give it to who you can absolutely trust not to give it to her. Under no circumstances allow even the tiniest clue to your new location to get out to her or anyone else. The survival of your marriage and your peace come first as long as she is alive.

[@cleliaparnell8743]

Wow! You're tough. 😊

[@naomiprice6672]

Dr John is so supportive & non judgemental

[@littlepixel1650]

It took me twelve years to understand my mil is a covert narcissist (grand gifts and verbal abuse/snide remarks about everything pertaining to myself) . Since info diet and very low contact , and MOVING AWAY 800mi , she’s become much nicer but as much as I want to believe change occurred I know it’s only because she’s desperate for emotional interaction and connection with our family. I can’t allow myself to be vulnerable again. So bless her heart, I truly hope she finds peace in her life.

[@annette2326]

Wait. The husband moved for a job opportunity and they blame the pregnant wife? Now they want her to stay home while he visits with the toddlers alone? I'm I getting this right?

[@madelineasmr926]

Yep. And like Dr. John pointed out, it’s way easier to blame her than blame him. I’m in the same boat. My husbands parents blame me for his and our shortcomings because it’s easier. She thrives off of drama and trying to control our lives. It’s pretty awful.

[@thejakelegion]

My parents know better than to call and ask me to leave my wife home. They'd be too scared to do that. Your husband needs to bring a hammer down so that they never try that again.

[@johniii8147]

Right? Sometimes you just have to tolerate each other as adults for the sake of the family. You made your adult choice on who you're going to build a family with and they have to respect that. Most parents get that, but there are those that don't want to give up their children and accept they grew up and made their own life. It's optional how involved you get to be in your adult children's life based on your own behavior.

[@zeal4god402]

Leave his wife at home???!!! What is she his accessory? His apple watch? His Nintendo Switch? His fitbit? Her son listening to her will undermine the health of his marriage! She needs to leave herself and her toxic attitude at home before she is involved in family gatherings again

[@johniii8147]

Yeah that would be comical if it wasn't so twisted. Well, you don't like her cause she took you're little boy once he grew up. Well that's on you grandma.

[@gsquared2394]

Fitbits normally go with you all the time

[@solstice1681]

"He's ride or die with me" you're a very lucky lady, God bless you, my husband says sure mom, I'm excluded from EVERYTHING and he goes to everything without me, my kids don't get it, they see their dad more as an equal than a parent because he's still very much his parents' child, I know my in-laws mean well and they think that keeping their son under their wing and a child forever is the loving thing to do but it isn't they're depriving him of adulthood and of the right and privilege of being the king of his own castle. Pray for us please.

[@OlgaDorovskykh]

Hey! Same situation here. ❤

[@madelineasmr926]

Praying 🙏🏻

[@mst-pierrem5729]

Currently going through this with my own set of in-laws and expecting twins.... His response is so nice, because to be honest at times I wonder if this could be normal! Good luck mam and sir! I totally feel this call down to my guts!!

[@stephanier1336]

Oh my goodness this sounds like my own mother! My mother law I actually get along with.

[@johniii8147]

Good for you. I've had that experience that i liked my mother in law more than liked than my own mother. I see why my husband turned out to be such a great man. My mother wasn't awful but definitely had her own set of issues. Sadly they are now both passed, but I had more emotion and hurt of the mother law passing. I now officially HATE mother's day

[@pyewacketpeggy8329]

Maybe your mother isn’t really wild about you either.

[@Rediguana33]

I feel this on a spiritual level. My mom is the same way her MIL is described.

[@amidthephantomsrose]

My mom is the toxic MIL. Been married for 7 years and 2 kids. I've had to set boundaries and stand up for my husband. It's exhausting. I set boundaries and then I'm told that I'm being disrespectful. I always say respect goes both ways, and that there's a difference between setting boundaries, standing up for ourselves rather than being disrespectful. She comes back "stop being so defensive, I'm not picking on him. I'm always praising what a good man and provider he is." I tell her that I'm defensive because it's non stop for 7 years. And if you praise him, you certainly have a funny way of showing it. We've had many arguments because I get tired of her toxic behavior.

[@cindyhavranek8456]

So what do you do if your husband won’t stand up to his mother for you?? My husband cannot even admit that his mother is ugly to me or is ever at fault for the problems between us. She came on our honeymoon, told me I was fat after I delivered our first child….I could go on and on, I need help!

[@GrannyDi276]

The whole honeymoon she was there!!??❤

[@Lady_V_C]

My husband doesn't stand up for me either or even sees how ugly my MIL is to me. She always criticizes my body when I'm pregnant and accuses me of all kinds of things. One time I actually thought she was going to physically assault me she was so furious for drama she stirred up out of thin air. The truth is there's nothing I can do about it, just have to give it to God to deal with. I realized she's jealous and has no manners, and she's missing out on relationships; her loss.

[@reececup84]

If she treats you badly she doesn't have access to your home or you or your children. If your husband chooses to have a relationship with her even though she treats you badly that's his choice. Until she can treat you with respect she cannot be trusted around you, your home, or your children.

[@Bunny11344]

Omggg she came with you guys on your honeymoon 😂whyyyyy……. Omggff wish yall could’ve left her on the behind on a stranded island

[@Bunny11344]

I feel like MILs that are crazy and mean like this obv they’re jealous they are no longer the only female that’s important in their sun’s life. They see the DIL as competition in his time and attention. MILs need to get some cats and move to a retirement senior home away from their sons and stay out of their business

[@JaclynSeymour]

My mil claims to know what’s best and recently yelled at us about how we’re are parenting, in front of my kids! She now doesn’t reach out or anything. I’m convinced she doesn’t love anyone and only loves what they do for her and how they make her feel.

[@EdelweisSusie]

My partner's mother hated me on sight and I could never figure out why until I realised she had some sort of coercive control over him (even calling him by a different name!!!) that she knew I wouldn't stand for. She did everything in her power to split us up, even offering to help with his huge debts if he would move 80 miles to live in her town again and because he was desperate, he did - and abandoned me literally overnight. He just vanished from my life after 5 years. I hope he's grown a pair since!

[@hansonallie]

In some cases I feel like these sort of Boundaries are a “Bless your little heart” way of telling someone you want them to F-off: “We are NOT doing this!” “We will NOT be doing that!” “But, if you’d like to fit yourself into this prescribed little piece of our lives, we’d LOVE it!!” Don’t get me wrong, sounds like perfect advice for this particular situation, lol!😹

[@amberdeterman5815]

My inlaws all moved away 🎉 then get mad that we don't travel 5 states away to see them. We don't have the time or money, they do. But they act like its our responsibility. Then wonder why our kids are close to my parents who are 20 minutes awsy 😂

[@a.humphries8678]

My mil ran us off, screaming at me, from Christmas celebration with them because i wouldn't let her feed my kids nuts, who have a deadly allergy. We had to have our christmas meal at a fast food restaurant because we were in from out of town at a hotel visiting. Lot's of traumatic events, the mil told us she's not wrong about anything because she's highly esteemed in the Christian community. I don't have family, and we've had to distance ourselves from his family.

[@isay207]

Christian that explains it

[@mktay2067]

@@isay207 oh this is a cross faith, or no faith issue. Not just a christian thing. Its just a people thing.

[@rmzavala4044]

I'm so sorry that happened to you .. hard as you can please make your own memories ❤

[@devadii24]

@@isay207I’m a Christian but laughed out loud 😂 That MIL sounds like a ‘holier than thou’ type but wanted to feed her allergic grandchildren nuts 🥜

[@madelineasmr926]

My MIL is Christian too and gives Christians a bad name… she actively looks for ways to destroy my character and all our issues started because she tried to butt her way into our marriage and when I finally had enough, she cried victim. She is a hypocrite and a liar and my husband and I are so done with her that we are probably going to find a new church, not attend family gatherings, etc. Horrible woman.

[@charmin78]

“Honoring my parents” vs. the self-respect to be treated with dignity.

[@SherryMacoy-dk4zh]

I am proud to say I love my mother in law and only watching to give advice to a friend struggling with a breakup over the boyfriends mother (young 19 year old couple) great in-laws are a tremendous blessing to a family and marriage.

[@adrianajimenez4342]

It's a good idea to know what you are getting Into before saying yes. I've learned the hard way, never again. 😅

[@whitneyw.7919]

It totally sucks and if you have been beaten down with a spirit of rejection for most of your life, you'll be unable to do this and remain cordial, but if you want to be good and friendly in laws you need to know deeply, to your core, that you are no longer primary (if you ever even were) and act like it. It's just a fact of life, kids grow up and find pple who they will put first

[@JDAfrica]

After my wife’s father passed - we took in her mother. As we had always had a pretty good relationship and enjoyed each others company. Man oh man, her mom changed once her husband has passed. Snarky, always causing conflict and fights… bad mouthing me to my kids and just very unpleasant to be around. She now doesn’t even talk to me - just gives me endless lists of things I need to do around the place. I regret opening my home to her - it’s almost like now she dislikes me because I’m the in way of getting attention from her daughter.

[@AnaRosa-d5d]

Have a chat with your wife and send her back where she belongs. You only have one life and living stressed like that will make you ill. I’m struggling too for different reasons but seriously thinking about doing something about it as drastic as it might be

[@raedorin979]

I have great in laws and i feel so blessed. We have had issues for sure but we worked them out. They were really hurt when we moved far from them but they weren't really wanting to be the super involved grandparents and my parents were aching for that. We also needed to make a change so i could stay at home because childcare was costing more than i could make. We were working opposite to both keep working and my in laws weren't willing to watch the kids even two days a month while we worked so we could get a weekend together as a family. I was hurt they didn't want to be those kind of grandparents. But it's their right to decide what kind of grandparents they want to be. So we finally stopped complaining about it, came to grips with it and made the big move out of state so we could have an actual family life and survive on one income. It hurt them but i think they started to realize why we did it and they also started to recognize that they didn't want to be babysitting grandparents and a twice a year visit is just about all they really want. I was so hurt they didn't want to be more involved but it's really ok that they don't want to be and it's great being closer to my family who LOVES to be involved.

[@lotuswolf1518]

Mothr in laws sister in law's can be worse n make someone suicidal

[@msi8311]

I have a crazy sister in law. Good thing is her brother doesn’t love her like a mom, bad thing is she will likely be in our lives longer than our parents. Sucks

[@lotuswolf1518]

@@msi8311 🤐🤐🤐🤐

[@Whitericeinmysalad]

Happy Friday everyone. Enjoy your weekend and experience joy!

[@havuckofp]

So you appear again in the comments! Have a great weekend!

[@hansonallie]

You as well!

[@lilithajezile4536]

Wow! So I have every right to not want her in my life. This video is so validating.

[@denisseg9103]

wow. that lady is crazy. i would not accept that behavior at all. stick to ur guns and boundaries! that lady is coocoo

[@marcellabrubeck1582]

This is solid advice. Something me and my spouse are already doing but it’s nice to hear because it’s easy to feel guilty or unsure. But when people refuse to be mature this is the healthiest way to go forward for everyone.

[@johniii8147]

Are you serious they want the son to come without his spouse? Nope sorry it doesn't work that way. They need to grow the F up. You don't have to be thrilled with each other but you have to learn to at least tolerate each other or they won't be any part of your life.

[@shb8212]

My in laws show up as guests soon after I've had my babies... im not allowed to set these kinds of boundaries with them... its a sore spot with my husband. He won't even ask them to bring a casserole for dinner because he doesn't want to upset them. Im due with#4 tomorrow and I know ill have to host whenever they decide to show up.

[@rachelscott7348]

how are you doing now?

[@shb8212]

@rachelscott7348 it was a little better this time around because my FIL didn't come. My MIL came and was somewhat helpful... but the first night she was here I cooked dinner, did dishes and put everyone to bed by myself while she held the baby on the couch... so that's the vibe of the 3 days she was here 😅. I received so much non family help in the form of a meal train though so it's been an amazing postpartum overall.

[@rachelscott7348]

@@shb8212 I am so sorry to read this.... how come they dont let you put boundries up?

[@shb8212]

@@rachelscott7348 I actually don't want them to stay away... I just want them to act like they care a little bit about me when they're around!

[@rachelscott7348]

@@shb8212 I can understand that. So long as you are recovering well!

[@pattimartin859]

Yup, toxic in laws. Holy moly. Yes, my daughter's in law (father mostly). was always in their business. When the kids started having babies he would take the pacifier away from the baby bc HE didn't like them. He commented one night at a family dinner that my daughter didn't have any "paint" on. (she had been to the gym, ran home and showered and as a family they left to go to this dinner). When she accepted a job to help with the family finances, he told his son, her husband, she needs to stay home and quit that job. Needless to say, it ended up in divorce bc husband couldn't stand up to his father. Toxic is a bad thing, you just want to scream SHUT UP, mind your own business !

[@zhmw]

When my mother-in-law was unable to live by herself in her house that she had lived in for 45 years and where her husband passed away, she didn't want to live in senior citizen apartments. One option was that she lives in our large house that did indeed have a 'mother-in-law suite' BUT I told my husband, she will need to take the senior citizen bus every weekday, that will take her to the senior citizen center and shopping and fun senior events, etc. to socialize and she was not allowed not stay in her suite all day, every day, to complain about how lonely she is. And she can't vent to our children, who were teenagers at the time. Needless to say, she wasn't interested in staying with us but stayed with her niece, who did a wonderful job of caring for her, even though she was constantly complaining that her niece was hovering over her and fussing too much about her and always taking her out to lunch, etc. She missed her husband dearly but couldn't accept help and support from other family members. So, with raising three teenagers, we couldn't accommodate her, if she wasn't willing to accommodate our family. It's sad but she was well cared for, even through the night she died because my husband and I were with her, singing hymns to her, while she peacefully passed away.

[@AllisonHoover-t7k]

Took me 20+ years to find my backbone. Wish I would have had the guts to do/say this when I was her age. So happy she is setting the tone with in-laws and parents.

[@momscience399]

It's broken my husband's heart to watch his father repeat his mistakes with our little girls. I wish my family was better but they are not. We are learning how to cope without family support.

[@Mrs.Silversmith]

Out of my four grandparents, the one who spent the most time with me and who I got to know the best was the one who was living the furthest from me. She traveled from another country and five time zones away to come and spend time real quality time with us. Our relatives in the states hardly visited at all because they couldn't be bothered. Your relationship is what you make it.

[@HadiaJenn]

Wow dealing with almost the exact situation!!!

[@katherinefernandez8487]

Omg/ this is our story- except our in laws only live 40 minutes away and we “live too far” for them to visit at all

[@rebecca6764]

My MIL used to talk to my baby as If I wasn't there, she would feed him whatever she wanted although I was breastfeeding him, called my homemade baby food "pig food", and even showed up to a hospital once to yell at me and declare she was going to tell my son I was evil as soon as he was old enough.....among other things. Thankfully, my husband knew her for who she is and put major distance too.

[@brettemiller8046]

Welp, this isn't my SIL. My mom would travel from spokane to Seattle every weekend with gifts to visit my niece if she could. This caller deserves better. What a bummer.

[@melissaknight48]

This sounds so similar. We've been expected to travel four hours, depending on traffic, our whole 33 years of marriage. As the kids got older, they still expect us to attend everything. They (mom and sister in law and brotger in law) manipulate my husband who now has dementia. Our daughter was killed in a car accident last November, and they expect us to just "carry on" and "want what's best for us". Red flag. We attended a 90th bday party six months to the day after our daughter's funeral. We're just supposed to move on. I'm done. They are controlling and manipulative. Sorry this was so long, but it hit a nerve because they actually live close to this lady. Man. I'm not crazy and unreasonable.

[@breannaneville4332]

Wow, this is my exact story, almost to a T!

[@commonsenseprevails1433]

4 hours? That's my commute to work for 2 days. My grandparents were 13 hours away and I saw them often. Thank Goodness she has a good husband, because his mom is just a bratt.

[@eedwards4603]

When I was a child, my parents moved us overseas. We were the only grandchildren on both sides. Everyone came to visit us.

[@deanwitt7903]

The way I look at it is that when I got with my wife we were starting our own family ,, I certainly wasn’t joining my wife’s family and she wasn’t joining mine . They say 13 is an unlucky number but for me I won the lottery by kicking my MIL to the curb for good after 13 years . She is dead to me , ding dong the witch is dead 😂

[@daviddaley8581]

P.s this man is a winner, you are going to be great, I married awesome and great in-laws❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🇨🇦

[@margaretwalsh8361]

I’m so done with these horrible MIL’s. It’s not that harrrrd!!! Your married kid is an adult like any other adult you know. Respect that and see what happens

[@JeffreySchieding]

Mother-in-laws NEVER respect boundaries. Surprise,surprise.

[@DFullerLisa]

My MIL unfortunately has next to know relationship with their sons now because she couldn't let her "babies" go.

[@anniemargaretmuir3838]

Great advice! ✌️💜

[@jet4415]

MOVE far away!

[@ariannyag6]

Great advice

[@ishratjahan8627]

Man, this is the story of every Asian mom in law. Lol😂. We Asian are just so used to this crap that we just pretend they are nonexistent. I'm no married myself but my older sister is. Her mom in law is in late 50s. And she is driving her crazy. She is sweet one moment then extremely ridiculous in other. She says one thing then completely change it few minutes later. I this that lady is bipolar. However, as Asian daughter in law we just ignore 😅

[@adrianajimenez4342]

I love this ❤

[@ShawnCiaffarafa]

Mourning a fantasy! I got to get better at that

[@amidthephantomsrose]

In my situation, the roles are reversed. My mom is the toxic MIL and im always standing up for my husband and setting boundaries

[@SherryEllesson]

There is a virus afoot. "We love you and can't wait for this horrible disease to be past, but right now, we must ask you to respect our desire to keep our new bundle safe."

[@valned3776]

Men want to be protectors and providers but can’t even protect their wife from their parents.

[@jameswoods6900]

They can't be welcomed to join as they will cause trouble!

[@Val-yi9mb]

My ex mom didn’t agree that I went to culinary school, her daughter married a black man and 2nd daughter married a divorced man… She put a gun to her head, it wasn’t her dream.

[@bevbayb3029]

Maybe it's just me, but I've been having a hard time lately hearing what John is saying but the caller is very loud and clear

[@broadcastdiva1]

All these videos against mother-n-laws are one sided. It's about time we hear their side.

[@sylviagonzales1680]

Maybe if the majority of mother-in-laws weren’t so darn psycho there wouldn’t be so many calls like this. I know a good amount of people and I would say about 97-98% of them all have issues with their mother-in-laws. I even have issues with mine and my own mom hates my husband 😂…they bring the reputation upon themselves.

[@NataliesMommy]

I only hope my Hagatha sister in laws finally get married and they end up with sister in laws that treat them as badly as they have treated me. Spying on me, gossiping about me, backstabbing, telling me their brother is unhappy in our marriage, (funny, he never told me this, lol).

[@BEACHDUDE71]

My brother in law is a bum and my sister is an idiot for marrying him, my parents gave them 20000, and he is picky about the job he gets, he going to be 54

[@SpongeBobSquarePantsNickJr]

I’m getting a Dr Phil Show vibe 😂

[@nizhonichica2005]

Lucky woman to have a man that has his own mind, not a mamas boy, daddies boy, siblings boy... YOU ARE LUCKY!

[@richardw3470]

Oh yeah, Mom, I'm going to travel across a wide state with three pre-school children and one of them an infant (probably with bottles of breast milk) - weee, such fun. Only question would be grandparents' ages, driving ability.

[@jmcconne2003]

What if husband defends his mother?

[@subjecttochrist]

yeah - that's tough.

[@binadeen9078]

Your MIL is mad because you didn’t care about them and cared about moving very close to your own Parents

[@YomommazDaGame]

I have a question maybe you could help me my boyfriends mother-in-law started to tell me the first week of me meeting her that she has a crush on his friend who is about our age and I didn’t know what to say. She asked me to keep it private, which I didn’t. I told him, and he was shocked and then a few months ago we moved out of that house and staying over at my parents house. She was mailing my prescriptions in the mail because she was a trusted friend well she had stolen my $400 of my ADHD she only took two pills, but still that’s my medication. Now my boyfriend wants to be in contact with his mom after she tried to say she was sorry to us her excuse was she was sorry for being depressed and not sorry for what she did to me or to him. I told her that you are cut off and I’m not going to tolerate that kind of fucking behavior, I hope you find God in your life and that’s the last thing I said to my mother-in-law and she’s even had her daughter demand answers out of me as why we don’t speak to her anymore that’s because she was sleeping with his friend my boyfriends friend. So what do I do in this situation? I’m really angry about it and I can literally throw down on this woman because whenever she stole from me, my dad had cancer and I needed those medication‘s to prioritize on my scheduling of taking care of my dad and getting him diapers and his medication‘s etc. that’s why I’m this fucking angry. What do I do??? Please help me

[@YomommazDaGame]

Also, my boyfriend made amends with his mother secretively behind my back while I’m still getting mentally emotionally abused. My boyfriend wants to keep in contact with her but low contact. I’m not so sure he’s telling me the full truth about it, but he hasn’t stood up for me at all. He said he did but I don’t believe him because he asked his mother to apologize to me and for his sister to apologize to me for coming at me the way they did and they think that I’m the reason why he doesn’t want to talk to them anymore. I’m at the point where I just don’t know if I could be with my middle school sweetheart, because he can’t stand up to his mother and her shitty problematic behavior. She keeps enabling her abusive behavior. She also called my mom because she couldn’t get a hold of us and told my mother personal stuff and told my mom that I’m a drug addict.

[@YomommazDaGame]

Please for the love of God I’m begging for someone to respond to me. I don’t know what I’ve done, and I don’t know what to do. It’s literally destroying a relationship that I have loved since I was in middle school. I fell in love with my middle school crush, and I finally found him after all these years of looking for him, his mother has made my life a living hell. Please god help me

[@BG-nm5xt]

Ok when the caller first comes on, do you really have to pretend you are partying, or rocking or whatever. I get it, entertainment. Just say good since the person is about to tell you their problems.

[@jenniferm3572]

Why all the RERUNS lately??

[@rachelgooden9981]

Whew! Three kids during covid. Must have some god cash flow😁

[@mio.giardino]

I think the reason why this happens mostly with the guys parents is partly because women who are married tend to not put up with any decent from their moms…and their moms know their daughters will pull the plug…hence they behave.