Motherhood: Postpartum, Intimacy and Supportive Husbands with Natasha Heath | The Man Enough Podcast

[@julietteb.2649]

I wasn’t expecting this episode to be so deep and emotional. Thank you for your authenticity and bravery. Regarding the sleep thing - Jamey - I think you both are not looking at this issue the right way. You’re not getting up in the morning because your body isn’t getting enough sleep. Your body needs more. If you were getting all the sleep you needed, you wouldn’t have a problem getting up. How do you expect to give her something (more sleep) that you are not even allowing yourself to have? Of course, that would mean working on your sleep patterns and circadian rhythm, and getting educated there. Reed Why We Sleep. You CAN rewire yourself to go to bed earlier, even if that means taking melatonin at first to help your body. Which, in turn, would mean working a bit less at night. So maybe you would have to learn to delegate more or take less projects at the same time. And maybe lose 1/5th of your salary, who knows (I’m outlining the worst case scenario here just to show that everything is a trade-off! But the benefits you get from sleep usually outweigh all the rest). Right now you are self-flagellating because you think you can solve this problem in a week with your mind and stronger motivation. But a healthy and well-rested body doesn’t need any motivation, it just gets up, and the process to gets there is deeper and longer. I would work on the physical instead of the intellectual/spiritual aspects of this issue. A good coach can help you with that (I can think of one or two). I’m saying this with care and it’s my opinion only. Happy to be corrected where I’m wrong. xxxxxx

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this.

[@awardtour93]

Hands down one of my favorite episodes. Thank you to Natasha and Jamey for their vulnerability. Amazing.

[@IsaV.7]

I am in ALL kinds of heartfelt emotions about this episode. Natasha you are brave beyond words for sharing your intimate process for all of us, mothers or single women... being women enough / men enough is what you displayed so vividly. Such clarity and vulnerability was so inspiring. Thank you, and YOU ARE BRAVE!

[@JemmaLiberte]

As the Man Enough Collective, we must hold Jamie accountable.❤

[@glasiannaguadalupe6449]

I started watching this podcast and this episode speaks so many volumes to me on so many different levels. There’s so much to take in and think about but also speak about with my husband and friends. I just had my baby 2 months ago and she’s an amazing healthy little girl but she was a preemie and I had a very difficult pregnancy. So, talking about the 4th trimester and how hard breast feeding is because I exclusively breast feed and the emotions and the amount of work that society puts on us, it really speaks to me. I’m glad this conversation was had and being talked about because I watched this whole thing just nodded my head in agreement and thinking “Omg this is me!” I feel heard and seen through this conversation being had so thank you for speaking on the true aspects of motherhood and how it can really be. ❤️

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending love and healing energy.

[@ginoambroise6559]

I so looooove this episode, it made me cry. Now i know more about Postpartum and how to show up for mothers. Thank you Natasha for share your health situation with us. I am so happy that you guys brings back whole episodes to KZbin because i couldn't see them on the webside and it was frustrating because i love this show. Keep doing the good work

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks for sharing. Glad you're enjoying the full episodes.

[@Sheldon1411]

Thank you for sharing your story Natasha. It is appreciated😊. I say it and I'll say it again, childbirth is no joke! The list of side effects is endless. To bear a child, is a brave decision women make thus society needs to stop pressuring women to have children.

[@ellinan.espinosa2289]

I love Vanesa's mom's comment about how she can't wait to live in a world where everything would consider mothers and children. I was a mother and working in the corporate office for Rheem Manufacturing in their accounting department. My husband and I had an 18 month old toddler while I was currently pregnant with our 2nd child. The company was actually renting the building that we were working in and they were working on constructing a new state-of-the-art building. This new building would be finished during my maternity leave so upon returning to work I would be working in the new building. As my due date approached they had meetings about what the building would look like to get the employees excited... it was a very open floor plan. Extremely beautiful and modern looking. But all the office doors had frosted glass.. so I went to HR with a question.. "Where is the private location for me to pump breastmilk?"..😮😮😮😮 I was met with absolute crickets of Silence. Our HR Manager, a woman, was in such shock that this had been completely overlooked in the building's design. I probably told her that I will not pump milk in a bathroom. And at my cubicle is not a private location. 😢 she completely agreed and quickly wrote an email to her supervisors which lived in a different city. Their response was that I could use one of the conference rooms with the frosted glass.. so not completely private as people would be able to see my exposed body translucently thru the glass if they were to talk by.. 😢😢😢 I then asked her what what if the conference room is already booked with a meeting? There should be a place that is readily available and sanitary for a mother to pump milk. It doesn't need much mentioning that the upper supervisors were all men. So naturally they had overlooked women, mothers, and children in their building design. Shortly before I delivered our baby my husband switched jobs and got a major pay raise which completely covered my salary. It was by the grace of God❤ so I never had to return to work after maternity leave. And now and blessed to stay home raising our children and homeschooling.. that comes with its fair share of stresses. And my husband is definitely not on Jamie's level of helping out. But I have seen major growth in him ❤ I know the Lord is not finished doing a good work in my already wonderful husband. I do feel invisible a lot 😢 teaching as a full-time job, on top of all of the cooking all of the clean.. I even have to pick up after him. The majority of the discipline falls on my shoulders as well.. he definitely means well but doesn't see me when I'm in front of him. 😢 the children are you been conditioned to come to me when he is off work.. he could be sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone, I could be elbows deep in the dishes and the children will still come to me with any little request 😂😅😢 moments like that break my heart because they've already learned that Daddy doesn't really help. He's a wonderful provider but beyond finances I do feel like he needs to pull more of his weight to show that he values and cares for all that I do and appreciates me.. When I had our most recent child (baby #3), he got 12 weeks off work to "help me". However he did not cook me a single meal, nor did he cook for the family as a whole nor did he do any chores.. I still cooked and cleaned everything, I was up through the night nursing , and still managing to homeschool our older children. I would get frustrated and cry and ask him for help and ask him why does he think that my postpartum. Is his vacation.. he definitely responded with but he's here to spend time with the children and bond with them 😮 yeah Society has set women up for failure in a lot of ways. Like I said I do see growth in my husband but he has a long way to go.. I am however raising our boys to be better men.

[@meliawadelington2958]

Thank you so much for this! Giving an example of what healthy communication looks like and holding this space for vulnerability and acceptance of the experience of motherhood

[@lj9524]

Great discussion! Yes, the posrpartum period is such an adjustment. As an RN I have seen so women suffer from postpartum changes. Mothers can lose themselves with caretaking! ❤️👏🌷👏

[@JemmaLiberte]

You can see the hurt in her eyes and body language. She wants a couple mornings off, like you enjoy every morning. You are making the choice to read scripts/go to bed later. You can train yourself ( I was a former night owl too) to go to bed earlier. It’s much better for you to go to bed together. You can commit to yourself 2-3 nights a week maybe to read scripts/work. You can do it. She is still in the protection mode , not filled with resentment that portrays itself in anger/bitter. We as women are sad, hurt , kind , forgiving, understanding and then “out of nowhere” but it’s not since she has been sharing with you ; a woman will stop asking = then the roots of resentment bring forth a fruit that will not be eradicated easily. You can do this, but you have to want to. Or at least you have to not want to have another divorce enough , let that be your motivation.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks for your perspective and encouragement.

[@JemmaLiberte]

@@WeAreManEnough thank you for allowing me to share. I know I may have come off harsh in some parts of my comments & for that I’m a sorry. I apologize if I hurt you in anyway Jamie, truly. I think I was triggered for sure. You are had kept asking your wife what you could do better over and over and all she said more than once was the “not being able to have a morning off.” I think we ( me included) we look at an old version of ourselves or even a parent and say to ourselves,” whoa I’m not like that thank God.” But yet here we are denying something dear to our Beloveds. I love this show and respect you fully. I see beyond your potential and I know you can do better. If you can wake up for Golf_______________, right? 🥰

[@palomamartinez3494]

I also felt that of her so much… I really resonate with her. Thank you for this episode. It’s not easy to talk about this still TABOO topic and also about your relationship openly Thank you for your courage ❤

[@0kipanderz]

I relate so deeply with these feelings, this video voiced the feelings that I have a hard time putting into words. Do you have any videos with the perspective of the father experiencing feelings of anxiety and possibly depression? It has been a rough time because it’s almost as if HE has been going through postpartum anxiety/depression, and I’m going through the overload of not just being a first time mother and all that entails, but also navigating being a loving and compassionate wife while my husband is going through such complicated feelings.

[@meldaliebt7109]

I mean sorry but this already reached me in Germany ! I could listen to this hours! Can you talk more about motherhood Natasha you are impressing with your story you touched my heart. I am alone pregnant and there is noone supporting. I can relate so much with this, in a way. Thank you for your honest. Also you two guys and head up the wonderful man - keep moving on !

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Glad you appreciated this.

[@Abcd-st8ej]

38:15 is the kind of vulnerability that is huge. The recognition that the absence of healing for a mom results in subsequent obstacles. Feeling heard ❤️ asking the question of consideration for moms hugeeee. Lastly, i think the fourth trimester is 2 years 🤣

[@georgiabrannon8991]

This listen is top on my list. Wow Thank you for this!!! Every new parents / couples should listen to this!!!

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you! We appreciate that.

[@Laiaalvarez1998]

thank YOU and thank you Natasha. Such a sweet and beautiful soul... Feeling so inspired

[@mihlali8416]

Amazing 🌻 she’s so wise and has been through so much

[@victoriacummins782]

Natasha - you were amazing in your sharing. Thank you for being so willing to be so open. Jamey, you’re right. You’re hella lucky 😉

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you!

[@GretchenHewitt]

Brilliant. So much to take in. And thank you for sharing your health concern. Liz, I appreciate your thoughts Gabor Mate expresses.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you!

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

Beautiful conversation❤. Thank you

[@eriknow3780]

Liz Plank - I love those slippers!!! Great Episode Man Enough!

[@Lita2all]

Wonderful Episode ❤

[@sahimsa1369]

To me it sounds Natasha is/ has to be fully committed to being a mother, still thinking what other things she can/has to cut in her life for that because it does not all fit in her life - while Jaimie sees himself rather as an supporter, a person being helpful, but having his main passion of the podcast central to his life and even time for golf? Maybe I got it wrong? Or they both had this kind of deal when they agreed to have babies together? Or is maybe this an issue that you both don't really take this couch of parenthood together? With all the issues I have with my partner and not having our child yet, I already feel he is ready to take on the same amount of load as me, with washing the dishes all the time, granting me lots of rest during my pregnancy, and probably taking the child as much as I do, without no difference of his role as a father from me as a mother (of course not in feeding the baby, but I feel sure he would then take over feeding me all the time). Experiencing this now, I wonder if this dynamic for those both could not be more equal from the bottom up?

[@aishaconnercreative]

POSSIBLE HELP FOR JAMEY - This was a REALLY hard episode to listen to. I'm so sorry to say that the husband Jamey Heath sounds very ignorant to the workload on his wife... I kept hearing him not understand how his marriage was functioning traditionally because he does a few things with his kids. Sounds like he does not understand the invisible mental load that responsible parents carry. If he hasn't already, wish he would read "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky that delves into this worldwide problem at length and offers actual solutions for couples to work out equitable ways to share their childrearing & household load. There's also a documentary. I know that has to be hard to be live on radio with your spouse and such delicate issues, and I appreciate everyone's vulnerability. Just really hoping this message might get to Jamey so that he can educate himself and thus become a beacon in his relationship... because without him stepping up in this area, he becomes a burden instead and I feel like that's what exacerbates a mother's complete overwhelm and exhaustion. Blessings to you all.

[@yulikizler482]

I’m so sorry this was hard for you to listen to. I hope that it doesn’t trigger anything personal for you, and if it does I hope that you receive the help that you need/ can have conversations to start to change that. I do see your point and can see how you are feeling like he doesn’t do enough since he did himself even admit that he doesn’t do enough. I think that it’s fair to be frustrated when we see that a male is not fully aware of how they are doing enough + be excited that they are open to hearing that from their wife. I know it doesn’t fix the issue but there is definitely some credit that they as a couple should get for being willing to have that conversation. Don’t want to put you down at all and completely agree with what you are sensing here, but hope that it doesn’t disillusion you completely because there was some good accountability being taken here. I agree that it’ll be even more real that it actually means something if he makes the changes in their actual marriage and she seems to be the kind of person that can hold him accountable in that for sure. So we may not get updates and see the progress publicly but I hope and believe that they will privately make these changes. It’d be fun to hear them but so thankful that they shared what they did here because we didn’t need to know this intimate information but they have been generous in sharing. Again, no disrespect and I agree with you! Just want to spread some realistic positivity and hope here.

[@n.m.3981]

My dad used to take all of us kids to breakfast (blueberry muffins , etc) one weekend morning to allow my mom to sleep in. Maybe planning a ‘dad event’ with your kids will make getting up early easier, just as you are able to make yourself get up at 5:30am to play golf.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Great idea!

[@handmaiden9839]

so i will say this you also reached a greek mum with pretty much the same issues i think all women have and also mothers with their child’s fathers and also with an autoimmune in the same area for years but with different cause so you have no idea how empowering it is to listen to a woman having the same problems and not feeling alone also i feel like motherhood should be celebrated by all i the kin and by other mothers as a spiritual path an enlightenment a good run that God gives to couples women should not feel so disconnected from their womanhood but they should honour their transition with pride and help from others this is a backwards society that makes motherhood difficult all i the context of discouraging women to have kids and supposedly overpopulating the planet when the elites are having more than ten kids. also i recommend the women who run with the wolves as a book and of course the second sex the book thank you that was truly therapeutic more than any session i believe mothers are the most suited to help other mothers period.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing your perspective and those book recommendations.

[@gabrielasaenz-seitz6593]

This is so wonderful to share her health challenge. I believe hypnosis would benefit her.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you!

[@sandrabarrera2108]

So disappointed in Jamie on how he responded to his wife regarding helping out in the mornings… as if his time, his priorities, his sleep, was not only more important than hers but completely justifiable🤬 The icing on the cake is how he quickly shut it down when called out on what he can do to help her and he quickly changed the subject smdh. #typical man

[@dragonbeardable]

So men are supposed to put in all the effort at the start of the relationship by making the first move, keep and maintain those romantic date nights, then have a good paying job the whole time, AND do half of the housework? This whole podcast is just all about telling men they are NOT good enough. I am assuming your audience is mainly women??? Weird when you are trying to reach men.

[@nigelcardoso7653]

You got it.

[@LetsBendReality]

Hey brother, with respect to how you're feeling, I wanna respect your opinion and at the same time offer another perspective if I may...? I saw a man who wasn't aware of the times his partner was in distress go through the shock, denial, then acceptance of what his wife was going through and ASKING how could he support her better. So when helping with chores or kids in the morning is being requested because she is literally going through a depression or tough times and can't handle the usual workload she has sometimes mentally...it's perfectly OK for a man or a woman to take on a little bit extra workload or care to help their partner out if they can mentally/emotionally handle that load for the time being or shift things in their lifestyle to make that burden better for their partner. That's what I witnessed and saw through these moments of tough vulnerable dialogue. It wasn't expected of him...and it was specifically said he/she didn't know what was needed at the time to alleviate the depression she was feeling...but we as men I think take it upon ourselves that we "failed" or "need to do more" or "not good enough" and turn a woman's pain/expression/story into a personal attack on us or being "male" which this was not to me at ALL! 🙏🏿🤓 Please let me know if this perspective or a relisten to that segment in the conversation helps shift anything in your perspective...not forcing you to or trying to change your opinion, again, just genuinely hoping that's not the only thing you're leaving this podcast with and that there was more to it than maybe the initial interpretation. Let me know if there's any questions or other comments you want to let out too...Def want to hear and understand your perspective better too if I missed anything...!🙏🏿🤓💫🫡 Hope you have a good one!🙏🏿✨️

[@janeryan2709]

That's what you got out of this?