Mitchell and Webb's Kitchen Nightmares

Brilliant and insightful sketch aimed squarely at Gordon Ramsey and the hordes of cookery shows on British television.
Do Mitchell and Webb a favour and buy their DVD for someone this Christmas. :)

[@Jack-lw5kh]

"King Lear is just English words put in order". What a line.

[@Jack-lw5kh]

+John Jones Basically, Webb says that the really difficult, ornate dish that he put together is "just local ingredients, simply cooked", which is basically oversimplifying a really complex thing...and so Mitchell retorts that on the basis of THAT logic, "King Lear is just English words put in order": Of course, like the dish, King Lear is far more complex and requiring of skill than just simply putting English words together.

[@John_McDonnell]

+High Koots Jesus wept, man.

[@John_McDonnell]

+John Jones You're American, right?

[@John_McDonnell]

High Koots While they may be more well known, Lear is regarded by critics as one of Shakespeare's supreme achievements, due it's greater comparative complexity and literary intricacy. Which I believe is the analogy being made by David's character.

[@John_McDonnell]

John Jones Ahem. Lovely. Well at least in that cesspool they've heard of King Lear.

[@DarkPhaaze]

As much as I still enjoy Kitchen Nightmares... this is definitely the truth right here.

[@setsers1]

DAMN XD

[@bsh819]

For some episodes maybe, but a lot of the time the head chef isn't the owner and can be replaced. So demonstrating that the chef is shit can actually help the business.

[@BluJean6692]

Except for that one family-run Caribbean place in London, to my memory its the one episode where he was polite and soft spoken the whole time. Tbf they were just wholesome and honest people but I think part of him knew he couldn't get away with it, or even couldn't bring himself to...

[@matta6088]

@@BluJean6692 from what I've watched, he always seemed much more calm and less confrontational on the British version. Presumably, the dialled-up aggression is how you get attention in the US market.

[@Pivitrix]

@@BluJean6692 The british version with Ramsay, was good. But guess what, it wasn't popular enough, without all the drama, shouting and flare that the American version has. It's staged and he is intentionally riling people up for the camera.

[@ronlittlejohn8046]

“You despise me!” The delivery of that line kills me everytime 😂

[@Lius525]

"Keep it up?! I havent't got it up!" LOL I love them

[@notinspectorgadget]

*SHUT UP YOU HAIRY BALLED PRICK!*

[@SlenderGuy16]

"As I'm surprised you weren't the first to say!"

[@toboe333]

David's acting breaks my heart. He sounds so sad.

[@masterpickles0188]

if i can prove that i never touched my balls

[@EvilSean62]

he married victoria ... as long as he can experience her in a human way ... even a hair follicle ... heaven

[@strider5119]

@@EvilSean62 you what?

[@Owen.Fallon]

I wish Good Sean was here

[@zakl940]

@@EvilSean62 what the fuck is wrong with you?

[@icicle241286]

1:44 "The only way any of this will help my restaurant is if you stay forever!" Unfortunately, Mitchell & Webb were right on the money here - of the 21 restaurants featured on the first two seasons of Kitchen Nightmares, only two of them were still open within three years of Ramsay leaving.

[@mikeox_is_small]

his most recent restaurant failed, so no him staying would not be a magic fix either.

[@jeremysalkeld8742]

I imagine this refers to the US version alone. Part of the issue is that the restaurants were already failing. The UK programme was based on turning the restaurant and management towards financial recovery, whereas the US programme marketed itself as a magic recovery scheme. In the UK version, Ramsay assisted four or so restaurants season, staying for a week and then checking up on progress a few months down the line, often revisiting one or two seasons later. Thus, the UK version actually had a greater success rate. Momma Cherri, who was featured in S2E2, actually became a small-scale celebrity chef in Brighton, for example. In the US, however, Ramsay stayed for barely two days per restaurant and implemented a quick makeover and some advice for the staff, which meant that owners often had little reason to maintain standards, and some joined the programme for the free makeover in order to sell off their businesses for more.

[@slothfromthegoonies8201]

Overall he has managed to save 40% of the restaurants featured on the show. Which is commendable given the fact that pretty much all of them were lost causes before he arrived.

[@Dumass88]

if you saw the episodes you'd see why. People in that show are so daft that it's a miracle they managed to start a business in the first place.

[@Spartan9095]

Exactly. He creates an entertaining show that has a 40% success rate, that's a net positive. Obviously he can't help everyone, but they all would have been fucked without him.

[@JeEhaO]

''You are much better at this than me'' Is a line that hit me hard and it takes balls to tell this to someone. Take away the fake laughter from this and it would be a pretty sad but true skit.

[@jb888888888]

Hairy balls?

[@davimurph]

It's more likely to be real laughter. They probably played it to a real audience and recorded their reaction. Fake laughter is something British program makers try to avoid. But you're right. This is treading a fine line between comedy and tragedy, and it's treading it very well

[@nthgth]

psh, I readily admit that to people all the time, basic humility isn't sad at all

[@Monotony619]

@davimurph I watched some shitty game show recently with the famous dwarf guy and I’m pretty sure they didn’t even have an audience. Heard laughing though hehe

[@reputablehype]

a lot of comedy without the laugh track becomes pretty dark

[@Panzer_the_Merganser]

His hands covered in bandages is a nice touch. My wife worked as a line cook and that got the biggest laugh from her.

[@AlexG-xl1cc]

They are blue as well. Gordan Ramsay's first show Boiling Point had a famous scene where he was reaming into a waiter who wore a blue plaster.

[@Panzer_the_Merganser]

@@AlexG-xl1cc Even funnier, thanks.

[@googleyoutubeaccount]

@@AlexG-xl1cc blue for chefs so it can be detected in food, skin tone for waiters so customers don’t notice

[@BadlyDubbed]

“FRESH, LOCAL INGREDIENTS SIMPLY COOKED.” said every tv chef crunt.

[@MijmerMopper]

I'm always suspicious of "local ingredients" in an urban area. The only herb I can see growing here is mold.

[@peterclarke7240]

EVERY KITCHEN HAS ONE OF THESE! (Waves ridiculous specialised gadget that arieates partridge kidneys at camera)

[@johnmartinez7440]

@@MijmerMopper Depends how you define "local". Drive 10 miles out of London and you're in farming country. I still think the focus on "fresh and local" is overblown though. If you can't cook, it doesn't matter whether your ingredients were flash-frozen in a lorry or came from the farm that morning.

[@XenoX101]

@@MijmerMopper And weed

[@syndromeofadown21]

I think you accidentally mistyped an "r" in your statement.

[@MattyMcCritic]

1:30 "And there's loads of things in there you didn't even mention, like the thing with the potato that might as well be magic as far as I'm concerned.." Lmao, By far my favorite part!

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

+Dav serban They are.

[@Anon-qp3kt]

They are just fresh ingredients simply cooked

[@BlueGangsta1958]

@Dav serban I fail at making normal crisps, so this fancy shape is definitely magic for me

[@MyKuL1990]

Hahaha I was looking for this comment just to like it "might aswell be magic" 🤣🤣

[@ZeranZeran]

this is how I feel watching anyone cook. Ive tried.. I'm awful at it. Practice makes burnt dinner.

[@Showsni]

The bit at the end about Linford Christie's sprinting nightmares was the funniest for me. Just summed up the whole sketch in one neat little line.

[@razor1uk610]

..at least it didn't mention any lunchbox blunders....

[@ZeranZeran]

WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING AS FAST AS ME!? _falls over_ Mitchell and Webb nailed American media 10+ years ago, and probably for 20 years to come. God it's awful. I'm looking for a gift for my aunt. YOU DONKEY!

[@agdgdgwngo]

"Keep up slow coach, why aren't you running as fast as me?!"

[@Logictrumpssuperstition]

Will you stay forever LMAO. This is one of the best they've ever done.

[@angelica3744]

I feel horrible for Mitchell's character in this! Lol the poor bastard.

[@angelica3744]

aidsbrigade Sounds like the kind of guy who is so insecure about his masculinity that he needs to publicly declare things like this.

[@clevelandbrown5709]

Yes, anytime anyone gives a woman a compliment it's because they're a huge fucking loser right?

[@littlechicken8443]

You people are fucking cancer.

[@JmantheCanuck]

Sounds like the kind of gal who is so insecure about her self worth that she needs to enslave her mind to a hateful ideology.

[@Kanelel]

The moral of the story is: don't read KZbin comments.

[@faritkamalov6567]

I saw this sketch long before I saw any footage of Gordon Ramsay. I knew of his existence, but cooking shows and youtube recipes were never of my interest, so I just never saw Ramsay moving and talking. I watched one of his videos for the first time yesterday, and Robert's impression is so on point! It's not direct mockery, but it's instantly recognizable, it's brilliant.

[@Thegbear]

This sketch is definitely exaggerated, Ramsay often tailors his recommendations of menu items to the cook he’s talking to, and usually they’re pretty decent already just need a bit of help or guidance. But in terms of a parody it’s spot fucking on, and hilarious. You don’t have to even like cooking to like Kitchen Nightmares, it’s the perfect junk food TV, seriously clear out an evening and just binge a top 10 list of them, if you don’t mind US reality TV fluffery it’s some grade A television.

[@Alan-xxxxxx]

​@@ThegbearExaggerated? - No shit Sherlock

[@Dilkingt0nne]

“King Lear is just English words put in order” is the argument I used when my gf described football as “just men kicking a bit of leather around”

[@paulzapodeanu9407]

I recommend the Mitchell and Webb Football sketch, that'll give you an idea of how your girl friend feels about football.

[@Dilkingt0nne]

@@paulzapodeanu9407 ITS GONNA MOOVE

[@Chebab-Chebab]

"And you are just a warm, wet hole."

[@paulzapodeanu9407]

@Tony Yeboah I have a mouth as well and I can also express ideas in writing, however I found that sketch expressed the idea better than I or anyone else had before, so I thought it worth sharing.

[@bobjimboob6920]

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[@thagamerzzz]

my god i fellt so bad for david's character in this sketch. The pitch of his voice and sound that he could break down crying any moment. This is better acting than I've seen in some movies

[@jozepedro27]

Coming from whom it does, i'm not sure how much of that is atually acting

[@Videosaurus_Wrex]

my hospitality teacher was like that "i'm a professional chef, why aren't you doing it as good as me?"

[@DanHarrisonKing]

0:58 when your work is selling tv's in retail, and a customer asks what the best price you can do is on a £1500 TV thats already had £500 knocked off it

[@hedgehog1965uk]

+Dan Harrison King Tell the cheeky fucker that, to him, the price is £1500. The £500 quid off isn't for arseholes.

[@jameskuckkan2326]

"King Lear is just English words put in order." is actually an amazing sentence.

[@georgecook6837]

The way he rotates the plate of terrible food slightly to try and present it at a better angle....

[@Nightopian1982]

"The fridges switched back on at the wall." That bit kills me, although to be honest, everything in this does. I can't believe I've only just come across it! Had me literally in tears the first time.

[@davidwhitfield7864]

"Keep it up? I haven't got it up, as I'm surprised you weren't the first to say."

[@somerelativleyuninterestin4763]

Bruh I was watching this while girlfriend tried cooking some onions of supper later, the fire alarm went off and I thought it was in the bloody skit

[@ChristmasCrustacean1]

I love how David started with no cuts on his hands, and by the time he is done he has at least one band-aid on every finger :p

[@curiousgemini]

Ramsey came to a restaurant in my hometown Norwalk, Ohio this summer. I don't think I want to eat there with him gone.

[@mmaven89]

"You despise me" Damn I love this sketch.

[@conradquek]

The multitude of blue stickers on Mitchell's hand adds to the detail

[@ReasonUPSB]

this one actually makes me kinda sad...

[@meganrobinson1179]

I know what you mean

[@Chance57]

My mans acting is too stronk

[@bigman25plus25]

you obviously need more hair on your balls

[@kenzito101]

@@bigman25plus25 some people don't even have balls to have hair on

[@ZeranZeran]

It's really accurate, Gordon just screams and berates people who are coming to him saying "I messed up.. I need help" and he just shoves it in their face, leaves, and then the restaurant goes under! He should really be called out more for this and take some responsibility. Apparently his ideas and cooking aren't as revolutionary as he likes to make them seem, he's just a prick. Same for that idiot John Taffer on Bar Rescue. Every place he "Rescues" goes under in 1-2 years.

[@theoelliott5944]

I love how David keeps up the squeaky voice throughout the sketch.

[@aerialkate]

Owes a nod to an old Neil Simon gag: "How's the new play going Neil?" "Great - all the words are in the dictionary - I just gotta put them in order..."

[@otocan]

I'm playing all the RIGHT notes... just not necessarily in the right order.

[@ziggypop8106]

Mitchell tried hard to change his posh accent but it kept slipping through 😆 Love these two.

[@JRSRLN]

Robert Webb captured Gordon Ramsay's mannerisms perfectly 👌

[@paulbrozyna3006]

I never quite got past the fact that a person who couldn’t cook decided to open a restaurant.

[@gabesolomon4887]

Neither can Gordon Ramsay. That's why in every episode he looks like he's about to have a stroke.

[@standalone8202]

Well, they have to earn a living somehow.

[@pontiffdoppio2770]

@@gabesolomon4887 yeah lmao he can't cook Get real

[@mrman2415]

@@gabesolomon4887 your comment might be the most stupid thing I've ever read

[@paulinegallagher7821]

I think its a parody on the fakeness of these shows. The shows are manipulated to make the restaurant owners and chefs look like inept morons

[@animal0mother]

The song is "Break Me Gently" by Doves off their 2000 album, "Lost Souls" released by EMI Records Limited.

[@jacklin5419]

"Might as well be magic as far as I'm concerned" hahaha

[@dougiemac164]

this is the best acting performance i’ve ever seen david mitchell do

[@Juztastic]

"Do fish have balls?" kills me every time haha

[@davidbrent8031]

Haven’t seen this in ages. Priceless.

[@MelloraFraggle]

This is not only funny but so damn accurate

[@johnhill2495]

I would love to see Gordon Ramsey's reaction to this.

[@makaio9578]

Nailed it. I love kitchen nightmares but this couldn’t be more true

[@MaxwellGravelle]

Even though I’ve watched this so many times everytime your better than me comes up I always chuckle.

[@Gorvinhagen]

"Have you got balls!? Have you got hair on your balls!?" I can't even imagine how many times they cracked up while trying to film this take.

[@cabobs2000]

the fridges switched back on at the way is probably the best line in here.

[@agiar2000]

Brilliant. I had seen Kitchen Nightmares before, but I had never thought of it like this. And, of course, it seems so obvious, now, that the failing restauranteur in this sketch has it right on!

[@blaineselkirk9946]

When I lived in Mexico, I watched the original UK version of Kitchen Nightmares on the dish. Way better than the US version. Great sketch! Thanks

[@Maximillionaire666]

No one says the word "balls" like an angry Robert Webb, great sketch.

[@him050]

“King Lear is just English words put in order!” Is what I say whenever I’m not understanding something someone is trying to teach me and they say, "it's simple..."

[@nightcoreencore3956]

This is my favorite Mitchell & Webb sketch of all time! :-D

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

NightcoreEncore It's the brain surgeon sketch for me. I've watched it countless times and it still makes me laugh.

[@captainfantastic7643]

mine is corner shop

[@overlook237]

Yes, this and the Labatoire Garnier one

[@thomasvleminckx]

BMX Bandit gets revenge on Angel Summoner...

[@mokisan]

🤣🤣

[@flangecorp9789]

I love the look Webb pulls after Mitchell says "what'd you say after Dill?" Hilarious resent-ey face!

[@johnkiunke4508]

I've seen this on my recommended for like 5 years off and on.. finally watched it. Pretty funny.

[@ben6993]

“With the fridges switched back on at the wall” 😂

[@Yapity111]

The hug is what completes this

[@randomrants.1337]

So well done. So true. Acting was great the emotion I'm his voice when he opens up is amazing.

[@shanethrelfall416]

The emotional bit at the end, spot on

[@DigitalKpow]

I love how everyone tries to make sensible and intelligent responses to the humor in these kinds of videos

[@TokyoJoe703]

02:09 - I love that agreeing nod when David went “all you’ve done is boast”

[@mdaddy775]

Every character David Mitchell plays is David Mitchell in different clothes!

[@CherryBladeBun]

The blue bandaids are such a deep cut.

[@sam-psonsmith9951]

after watching tons of kitchen nightmares. this is so SO TRUE.

[@ZeranZeran]

over 12 years ago, and they're still airing it and coming out with new seasons. They nailed this. Wow

[@ZeranZeran]

They even called out the failing restaraunts after the show! Yes! I think over 90% of the the places on Hells Kitchen end up closing within 1-2 years of airing. It's actually quite sad. They use and abuse people who really need help. Gordon Ramsay is nothing but a glorified Chav, and I'm an American that doesn't even know what that means. Bloody hell. This is willies, wonkers, and wobbles.

[@mrfreeman2911]

@@ZeranZeran I think 2/3 new restaurants don't even survive a year. Gordon is given an impossible task and most want listen. He gives them amazing advise for free. Not Gordon's fault if the restaurant is rat infested when he arrives. Gordon comes from the school of tough love. It isn't for show. He is actually like this and was raised like this. This is his DNA.

[@MrLTiger]

@@ZeranZeran kitchen nightmares was filmed during the depths of the great recession. nothing could have saved most of those places

[@ZeranZeran]

@mud6992 He can and does.. and it still doesn't save them. But you guys raise some good points.

[@ZeranZeran]

@@MrLTiger actually a very good point

[@nakedmaneatinginadumpster6242]

My absolute favorite sketch.

[@MrMmnngghh]

Lost count of the times I've used "are you pulling my BALLS?" as a response to a household repair request from the fair lady.

[@Elrond_Hubbard_1]

With the ants expelled from the pavlova and the refrigerators switched back on at the wall, Max turns his attention to the menu.

[@androc75]

Lol

[@pengo369]

Fridges turned back on at the wall lol

[@ASkepticalHumanOnYouTube]

"You need food with BAWLLS"

[@CaptainLumpyDog]

BALLS OF STEEL

[@RazeMengsk]

"Do fish have balls?"

[@CloneJFK]

Y-yes, I do have hairy balls.

[@AdamTheMan1993]

@@CloneJFK Shut up you hairy ball prick

[@AdamTheMan1993]

@@CloneJFK Shut up you hairy ball prick!

[@Ejay669]

Over 60 Percent of the Restaurants on ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ Are Now Closed.

[@slothfromthegoonies8201]

Jay667b The fact that 40% of them are still open is actually quite commendable. Especially when you take into account the fact that all of them were basically lost causes until Gordon turned up.

[@MrFox1231]

Probably because Ramsay can't fix people, which is the issues in most cases.

[@Mrlzman]

And if he hadn't been there, 100% of them would be closed.

[@roarblast7332]

That's actually pretty impressive. I wouldn't have expected such a high success rate.

[@redholm]

Even if it was just 10% success that would still be impressive. Did you see some of them? Like most of them are far in debt, can't cook or are just idiots. They weren't 4/5 restaurants before he came there.

[@BluJean6692]

I lost it at the forced hug lmao

[@GeneralCane]

"That's why you've got a TV show and I've got a failing restaurant!"

[@alanlo3678]

so true... that's why some chefs in the show were so fed up with Ramsay.

[@Spherehead123]

well, i guess i couldnt blame them now. still "some" of them are arrogant though

[@boiledelephant]

Words cannot describe how much I despise that man and the "rudness and arrogance are cool" culture he ushered in.

[@HrHaakon]

A lot of them, at least the US version, did shit that could kill people. Ramsay yelling at them was more than justified. The British show was much better though. Much less needless drama.

[@tdkage]

As they've commented, the british one was more helpfull and chill. He truly wants to help and the cooks and restaurant owners honestly have problems getting things to work. The american one... shit man....... WTF were those people thinking... It's even dangerous. I don't know how they even got arrested after the program being aired.

[@Galexlol]

so true my ass, all ramsay did was fixing a menu and give them easy stuff anyone can do, while chefs were pretending to be BETTER than him, never once they said "i suck" it was always the opposite, the people that made this sketch obviously never saw the actual show and just know it from hearsay.

[@bellyit]

Whole sketch is great, but I love that voiceover. It's uncannily close to the real Kitchen Nightmares.

[@londontrada]

Gordon did the voiceover himself for the original show

[@ilikezappa]

My friend had a mate who was the subject of Gordon Ramsey's failing restaurant show. She said it was a complete fabrication. There was a scene where Gordon was getting angry because she was late , when she had been there for hours.

[@freddiet8639]

Oh you thought everything you see on TV was real? 🤭

[@ilikezappa]

@@freddiet8639 oh absolutely

[@christopherbowers7236]

gotta love reality TV, i remember seeing the one where they reposess stuff. and they repossessed a fucking biplane while being chased by the guy who owned it, but there was engine trouble and they had to land in the mountains and repair it. big tension. all completely ruined by the fact that there was a camera crew watching them take off and land each time. theoretically then left behind with A: the angry owner in Alaska somewhere. then B: on a desolate mountaintop

[@rubensanchezramirez7028]

My ex husband’s dog’s mother in law was in the show and says you are both correct

[@ilikezappa]

@@rubensanchezramirez7028 Well, that would depend on which breed of dog if you could trust her. Collies are very dependable , but if it was a Beagle, they are known for being bullshitters. Mine used to steal my Marlboro Lites.

[@cringememes3515]

WHY! WHY AM I DISCOVERING THIS NOW!?

[@pyrtwistPyrtwistWorldInMotion]

Love the Doves tune, Break Me Gently in the background

[@Schowski]

How did i discover this just now, this is total gem 😂

[@OhNotThat]

Robert Webb's Kitchen Nightmares looks awesome, i'll take 10 seasons

[@samuelstacey2309]

That look Robert gives David like “are you pulling my balls” lol

[@jazztom86]

when he looked that carbonized piece of salmon he should have screamed: "IT'S FUCKING RAW!"

[@robbabcock_]

This is literally perfect!

[@bobdole3418]

THe funniest part was when he said "cookery"

[@MrMaddox57]

lol it is so funny seeing the videos on the screen and the views on the MOST shocking, cute, etc. and the movies, lol. Never fails, rarely at least!

[@MichaeltheORIGINAL1]

That Webb actually almost sounds like Gordon Ramsay voice and tonaluty wise makes this so much better, hahaha.

[@clunky9072]

His voice isnt even close

[@nicholascrow8133]

These restaurants are on their last legs anyways, they come to kitchen nightmares as much for a payday as any advertisement. Funny skitch though, would love to see david with that hair without a hat 🤣🤣

[@DirectRealism]

Doves - break me gently is the song 👌

[@sowpmactavish]

Christ this bit always breaks my heart but I keep watching it anyway 😭

[@galexeqe]

Love to see Gordon Ramsey get that response at some stage on one of his shows

[@johnmartinez7440]

That would assume the owners/chefs have any desire to change their ways, which usually isn't the case (also because they're picked for the show if they'll cause more drama)

[@Huly241072]

“King Lear is just English words put In order” genius

[@davidfromgeo]

After watching some Mitchell/Webb, I discovered that English accent makes comedy much better, and laugh tracks can suck my balls.

[@stevenwebb3634]

Davit Lursmanashvili It gives comedy balls!

[@themowstudiosblair7468]

Do laugh tracks have balls?

[@mstandenberg1421]

Not a laugh track. These shows have live skits and prerecorded skits playing at a studio audience. What you're hearing is a live audience response to playback. Laugh tracks in Britain are extraordinarily rare.

[@JamesJuice321]

Everything English is better...

[@BlueGangsta1958]

@@JamesJuice321 Not your bread, german bread forever

[@GuyG2024]

Absolutely brilliant hit the nail on the head

[@trigtriggytrigga]

Why does the chef look like he's schooling Peter Parker on cooking rather than demanding pictures of Spider-Man?

[@wickedwifestre]

This sketch is so good I had to watch it twice

[@richardjw82]

His facial expression at 0:34 is so perfect.

[@awongabroad5520]

The advert on this video was Gordon Ramsay’s cooking masterclass 😂😂😂

[@Olallie]

even the camerawork is accurate

[@thekingstayking836]

this really is how kitchen nightmares is

[@markbradley6758]

Webb is fantastic

[@arifakyuz7673]

Mitchell and Webb are fantastic!

[@Rompster123]

King Lear is just english words put in order! Howling.

[@nemo6686]

Oh the irony of the algorithm now suggesting I watch a clip of David Mitchell on Bake Off...