compulsory heterosexuality explained

[@MsDickerz]

Hi fam!! Let’s talk COMP HET! What are your thoughts on if? 💗 P.S can we get this video to 2k likes?!

[@youremyfavoritesong9868]

💖💜💙

[@vampirebl4des]

im thinking now that when i was younger i never even considered being attracted to girls when maybe i was all along due to comp het surprising it

[@livinggiraffe1420]

girlllll im binge watching ur videos rn! they so good!! 🌈

[@MsDickerz]

Thatgayone aw thank you!!! 💗💗

[@MsDickerz]

lucy yep mood!!! me too!

[@moss5538]

Quick fact bisexuality isn’t just liking men and women it’s just liking TWO different “genders”

[@MsDickerz]

Ya two or more 💗

[@moss5538]

Dutchy doesn’t it become omnisexuality or pan sexuality?

[@MsDickerz]

Romanie Goodwin nope! pansexuality is where you’re attracted to people regardless of gender & Omni is attracted to all!

[@moss5538]

Dutchy thanks 💖

[@Jubilant_Devil]

@@MsDickerz oh that makes alot more sense now bi, omni and pan are really confusing for me i think that i am bi or lesbian but i am having trouble firguring out which. :)

[@alyshaking]

Totally the whooooole reason I didn't accept that I wasn't straight until I was 34. It literally took a character in a book saying 'straight people don't spend this much time convincing themselves they're straight' for me to go 'well shit. I am so not straight'. Comp het was what kept me from thinking outside the straight box as a teen and essentially had me burying or ignoring any other feelings for the next decade and a half. So. Messed. Up.

[@leozelt2156]

Have you heard of hocd? It’s basically when you are obsessed about being a diff orientation and you reassure yourself your straight all the time, too

[@alyshaking]

@@leozelt2156 huh, I haven't! That was definitely me in highschool, though.

[@harryferguson1812]

Omg was the book Red, White and Royal Blue?

[@renreop769]

man.

[@kaseyford1490]

Same for me. I realised I wasn't straight until 34 too. Comp Het is such a societal BULLY!

[@ihavelemonade5640]

I'm glad internet exists so more kids can find out about lgbtq+ if their household is overflowing with COMP HET

[@MsDickerz]

Yesss!!!!

[@marka2158]

Yall some weirdos

[@tounsinour5907]

Can you talk about how much romance, sex and marriage is glorified in everyday life and it's almost like if you don't have sex or don't want a romantic relationship it's considered as if you didn't live a great life? I always see that everywhere. Like it's the end all be all of life and that it's the thing that everyone should strive to have

[@holyshinx6391]

We love some good aro/ace exclusion

[@tounsinour5907]

@@holyshinx6391 yep

[@tounsinour5907]

@@holyshinx6391 it's really frustrating

[@180chrissi]

Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy when they find out I don't like the idea of sex... and I hate this "once you find the right man..." 😑 as if this was the only thing that matters in life

[@hannahsmith4007]

Compulsory sexuality, leaving asexuals everywhere feeling like they’re wrong\broken\late bloomers

[@Emmalouiseflores]

closeted gay in the house😂🌈

[@MsDickerz]

Hiiiiiii cutie!

[@benhines6747]

Same here 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💜

[@uni5015]

Yasss 🏳️‍🌈❤️

[@em7385]

The ‘Am I A Lesbian?’ masterdoc that’s floating around the internet that explained CompHet literally made me finally realise that I’m a lesbian and not bi lol

[@mars-ip1zg]

same lol i read it and i was like oh yea um so i'm gay

[@kaitlynmaclean6508]

Same! I wish I knew about this when I was 13 uughhh

[@bluepeppermint3790]

I am still questioning but that doc turned everything I thought I knew upside down for sure

[@car_go_vroom_vroom_vroom]

Same this year, I finally realized I was lesbian.

[@acatwiththumbs4819]

@@bluepeppermint3790 Yo I just want to toss out there, that document is actually super messed up and full of bi-erasure.

[@angeline808]

One thing I did to myself because of this. I wanted to be “normal” so I decided to date a guy. I wasn’t actually attracted to him, but I formed an emotional bond. So I was in a 3 year relationship where I didn’t like the guy but I was with him because I wanted to be “normal” and I had formed a friendship

[@Sidralovescrows]

Glad you have a friend tho

[@frostfeather6584]

That meme that’s like “I have feelings for you… I have feelings for you too… the feeling was friendship”

[@kiseikimomizuchiroku2258]

This is disgusting.

[@caramel7050]

@@kiseikimomizuchiroku2258 i agree. patriarchy and the way it forces lesbian women to comply to heteronormative dynamics is disgusting!

[@kaseyford1490]

Same here. I dated a guy coz of Comp Het, I wanted to fit in like my Heterosexual sisters. I was emotionally close to him sure but it was strictly platonic. I texted him to say 'Can we just be friends'? He didn't take that one very well. He ended up blocking and refused to talk to me 😅

[@gabbyperez8450]

The person who disliked this video is homophobic, but they have a crush on dutchy

[@izzyrose8377]

feel like i’ve low key know for ages that i’m bisexual but my brain keeps trying to convince me i’m straight because of this aaaa

[@bonzo319]

Earlier I came out to my friend and he said “I respect your choice” rip P.s. I don’t think he’s homophobic, I just think he’s not educated

[@randomperson1646]

F

[@MsDickerz]

At least he respects? Just unaware that sexuality is not a choice! Could be worse though💗💗

[@xoxoMotel]

I dont see anything wrong w that...? I dont think its about being educated or not

[@PGOuma]

@@Agent-cj5uk i gotta pretend 😪

[@PGOuma]

@@xoxoMotel because it's not a choice 😔

[@kristinahalsall9104]

I have always known I was attracted to girl from a very young age. However, I was always attracted to men too. I came out as bi at 17. Dated a few men, horrific relationships to say the least, always had the issue of not being able to emotionally connect to them or desire them like they were the best thing since sliced bread. Recently, I started looking into comp het more and more and had a huge realisation moment, seeking someone's attention is NOT attraction Kristina 🤦‍♀️ because every time you get attention, you either don't like it or don't know how to respond. I recently came out again as lesbian, but I feel the term queer suits me best. I know I can't love a man, but comp het has me questioning that everyday even though I have a valid list of reasons why I'm right. Comp het is the bane of my existence, but I can't wait until the day I get my first girlfriend. Thanks for the video 💕

[@Yohao88]

How did we go from a Roman emperor being made fun of/discriminated because he wouldn't sleep with guys to this? XD

[@karinashirley4236]

Hey Dutchy can you please make the “Confessions from the Closet” thing a series? I really like it ❤️

[@MsDickerz]

absolutely!!!

[@MsDickerz]

Jui [e-mail] 💗

[@Nicole-es5un]

@@MsDickerz please do this

[@eduardoalmeida2526]

Hey, if you are feeling down, I just want you to know that you are loved and supported (sorry for bad English)

[@universeoftrees3913]

💜

[@MsDickerz]

💗💗💗

[@lian7092]

it's good english

[@imboredlol2600]

That’s better English than most Americans I know I mean that you are really nice thank you You are also amazing!

[@kenziewenzieasmr9800]

Great English! And thank you for the positive vibes

[@ariawalker3284]

last time I was this early I thought I was straight

[@escopey]

lmao

[@karinashirley4236]

Same lmao

[@v.h.w.2580]

Same

[@moss5538]

What does str🤢🤮aight🤮🤮 mean I’m a full fledged normal person

[@christiansarewankers302]

@Pickle lover 328 you missed the joke

[@thatonerandombooknerd1632]

These videos are literally the only thing that can get me up on Saturday mornings (except my mother coming into my room and forcing me out of bed )

[@MsDickerz]

Aww!! Well I’m glad ❤️ happy to help!

[@moss5538]

Vibe but also the same ☺️

[@claudiag.s.9605]

If you do make a part two could you go deeper into internalised lgbt phobia. I've struggled with it in the past and i feel like it isn't talked about enough. I love you so much 😘🥰

[@tessandjonkou167]

Yes !!!! 🙌🏾

[@unicorntomboy9736]

That's a great idea

[@onyxsnowflake5696]

Fun fact: 68% of gen Z isn't heterosexual

[@MsDickerz]

Oooh love that fact!

[@loganmacgyver2625]

Almost perfection.... Sorry, i had to make that overused "joke"

[@kittynado758]

Wait really

[@wendiwasden7088]

I knew it was a high percentage, half of my friends are lgbtq

[@unicorntomboy9736]

That sounds like a bit of an exaggeration to me. I think you've greatly overestimated it a bit.

[@kileyslife7541]

So this vid isn't even out yet and it already has a dislike. Haters be earlyyyyyy😂 But seriously Dutchy ur the best!🏳️‍🌈

[@MsDickerz]

Aww thanks Kiley!! 💗💗

[@aggrococonut]

I mean, it’s been out for an hour and it still has only one dislike, so it’s just that one hater that’s early 😂

[@kileyslife7541]

@@aggrococonut that's good

[@yourrandominternettroll5311]

There aren’t any dislikes now

[@aggrococonut]

@Billie Eyelash Yay😄

[@aggrococonut]

The beginning of sixth grade, I came out to myself by basically hanging out with my best friend so much and becoming so close with her till she came out and I just kinda thought “Frick, me too” 😂

[@salamzander]

Aggro_Coconut _ a common gay experience lol

[@ihavelemonade5640]

The only COMP HET movies I can watch are Megamind and Shrek honestly. Call me a kid. But those films are masterpieces.

[@wormoncrack4276]

My dad calls the LGBTQ+ community the alphabet people yeah that’s uncomfortable for me

[@unicorntomboy9736]

Why did anyone even come up with that term anyway

[@caleighhhhh67]

ik it’s like geez we luv some ✨ *toxic masculinity* ✨

[@ApparationsOfGloom]

LMAOOOOOOO

[@alonianewcomb7739]

My mom does too

[@tessandjonkou167]

This looks FASCINATING omg 🤩

[@MsDickerz]

Thank you !! It’s a super complex topic!

[@Iminacoffin]

Me: Oh god this girl is sooo pretty, I can’t stop looking at her, her skin seems so soft, every time she smiles I feel so warm inside, her cute nose, eyes, her blonde hair ahhhh!!! Yeah I just think she’s pretty Oh this guy is cool, I don’t find him attractive and I don’t wanna kiss him, but he’s nice. I probably have a crush on him

[@salamzander]

SatansFish69 _ SAME GIRL

[@PGOuma]

YES

[@heiress.]

Samee.

[@sadetucker2094]

God, I used to say that internally without even realizing it.😔

[@catttyun]

This is so me it hurts

[@dawnshotoki4088]

I'm trying to learn as much as I can because unlike most people they just hate because they don't understand and I don't wanna be like that so thank you Dutchy (⺣◡⺣)♡*

[@MsDickerz]

You’re welcome great panda!

[@Gusielog]

I’m ONLY early to dutchy vids

[@MsDickerz]

YAYAYAYA

[@Gusielog]

Thanks for replying

[@fantasticfrances]

We’re all victims of CompHet wbk Thanks for making this Dutchy I learned a lot! I had heard of this before but couldn’t find much information about it and it’s nice to be educated on something that effects me and so many people.

[@anastasiashistoryproductio6791]

Oooo this is going to be interesting. Though any Dutchy video is interesting cause Dutchy is the best!

[@MsDickerz]

Awww thanks angel!

[@lauratheexplorer6390]

Sex is not just for a man’s pleasure. I didn’t discover this till I had sex with a girl. But I didn’t accept the fact I was a lesbian until 30. I came out first as bisexual in my 20s.

[@jastheweeb5810]

dutchy im not sure how to come out to my friends and family.. they all think im straight but im a lesbian and im worried they wont believe me and say its a phase 🥺

[@MsDickerz]

hmm it can be a tough one! you can always wait a little while until you’re a bit older so they take you more seriously? unfortunately people think age does play a factor in figuring out your sexuality when it truly doesn’t xx

[@tarynriver]

Dutchy I’m 29 and my sister thinks because I’m a latebloomer even though I’ve probably known earlier than this but I realized at 23 I was 100% into girls @jas the weeb if they don’t believe you that’s their problem they will realize when your feelings don’t ever change but dutchy is right that does take time as I said my sister doesn’t believe me but that’s her problem not mine lol

[@jastheweeb5810]

@@tarynriver thank u :)

[@tarynriver]

jas the weeb of course 😊

[@reneewilliams3339]

This is really interesting. I had no idea that this existed

[@justinemitcham1037]

Holy shit I was just searching for comphet vids as I question my sexuality and I didn’t even realize that this was just posted! I’m early to a video I didn’t even know I needed! Thank you Dutchy!

[@universeoftrees3913]

This video was AMAZING I hope we get a part 2. You have made me more comfortable to be me. Thx Dutchy ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Edit: Also I would LOVE a podcast

[@MsDickerz]

Of course 💗💗💗 eeek okay!!!

[@starkid_potter9313]

Thanks for this

[@kenziewenzieasmr9800]

This is so interesting, I definitely felt like I had no other option. I never minded at all about others sexualities but because of growing up in the household that I did and being taken to church I just didn’t think I was “allowed” to like women. And now as an adult realize how absolute BS that idea is, but it seems to be brainwashed into our minds growing up.

[@katespaulding4563]

i'm so tired of people saying only lesbians experience compulsory heterosexuality. bisexuals, queer women, and other sapphics also experience compulsory heterosexuality, and it's wrong to deny that!

[@brianadelreal4979]

comp het is the reason why i, a lesbian, thought i was bi for a year

[@kayleygreen7602]

Your points are so strong and well spoken! Please do not feel the need to apologize for rambling because that was all wonderful and informative!

[@florenciaparedes2636]

i've heard of comp het before but i never seen someone with a platform talk about it! thank you so much 🥺🥺

[@randomperson1646]

Im feeling really upset because my brother was being transphobic today. Im not trans but i support trans people so much and it hurts to see him say things that can have such a horrible impact on others. Just want to remind everyone that you are all so valid and i love you 🏳️‍🌈 Edit: he just used gay as an insult :(

[@MsDickerz]

Aww I hope he changes his mind and educated himself xx

[@annafulgham]

my brother is also VERY homophobic, but the other day when i was talking about my future my brother said "when you get married and have a wife..." and it made me so happy. even if your brother doesnt change, you have a family in the lgbt community. it gets so much better ❤️

[@yougotmoxie571]

I use to tell people I'm 100% straight (not just "I'm straight"). Then I would crush on my female friends and say "this is just how girls act". I would also purposefully avoid looking at girls in porn and real life while forcing myself to look at attractive men. Then I thought I was bi and started accepting it. But the more I accepted it the more that straight to gay ratio dropped in the favor of being gay. After a long time I finally accepted the fact that I'm lesbian. I can't believe I went from saying/believing I was 100% straight when I'm barely straight at all.

[@federicagarofalo5606]

What a beautiful topic! Please part 2👏🏻👏🏻

[@MsDickerz]

For sure!

[@thesnekmaster4455]

im a cis female, but a few months ago I was like "hmmmm, do I fit as a female? Do I feel like a female?" and after that I decided yes lol, but hey I was open to questioning it so yay me :)

[@harryrocks44]

There's nothing that makes us "feel female" or "feel like a woman" if we want to be honest. We're female and we live in our body, that's it, the rest is sexist stereotypes

[@shay259]

I've seen a couple of videos on comp het, but none of them was really informative. I am keen on how you research everything that you choose to cover in your videos. It's amazing. I've always understood what comp het is, but I didn't have such a broad picture until today. Thank you. It has never crossed my mind that women didn't even have a choice to be with anyone who wasn't male, simply because their lifes depended on men and their income. And that explains a lot about why LGBTQ people started to be loud not so long ago. Because earlier it wasn't possible at least for economical reasons! Thank you for explaining it so perfectly. You gave me a food for thought. You are the best LGBTQ content creator on KZbin! Love from Poland ❤️

[@bubba283]

I'm glad these videos exist I deal with sexuality alot, but don't tell family

[@gabbyf4281]

Bless the notification, otherwise I would’ve missed this 😅 Going go learn something new and I’m all for it

[@MsDickerz]

Lucky you have your notifs on! 🤍🤍

[@liagem2087]

aaa i’ve been dealing with lots of internalized homophobia lately and this is just the video i needed! could you also make a video on micro labeling? :))

[@ericaliu3635]

i stand by every single thing in this video, but also, to everyone watching this, please don’t use comphet as a way to invalidate bisexuality!

[@islah7x]

Hi, This was really interesting and helpful to watch. You explained everything really well, making everything easy to understand. Thanks 😊

[@mep6302]

I'm a bi man (with a preference for men). I've also experienced comphet in my life. I thought I fell in love for a girl but I never thought about being her boyfriend or having sex with her. Later on, I realized she was just a very good friend of mine (we're not friends anymore) and I really enjoyed her company. And even now I find some women attractive but that doesn't always mean I'm attracted to them. The same happens when I find men attractive. It doesn't always mean I'm attracted to them. I'm just appreciating their beauty. The same thing about toxic masculinity. I thought having same sex attraction was wrong and thought I was not masculine enough because of this attraction. That's bullshit. I'm not 100% masculine and will never be but that doesn't mean I'm not masculine or I'm 100% feminine only because I like men. And I even thought I was gay because I thought my attraction to women was not real and it was because "society taught me I must be attracted to women and only women"

[@albieandfriends6518]

Comp het (which I have only recently learned of) is definitely to blame for my personal situation I believe. I am in my late 30’s been only in het relationships and married to a cis man for 12 years. I realised this year that I am attracted to females and not males, I want to come out and live my life openly and as the person I am meant to be but I am confused, anxious and scared. Everything we are shown to be ‘the norm’ that I am currently living will be flipped upside down and people will get hurt. I have considered just staying as I am, married to a man etc but I am so conflicted and my mental health is starting to suffer. Help 😩

[@scollaceyuri]

Any tips on coming out to your friends? I’m worried about what they would say or if they won’t support me. Here’s how I think it might go (over text btw) Me: sends a gif saying I’m bi Friend 1: ok that’s cool Friend 2: yea we don’t care who you like we just want you to be happy Me: aww thanks💖 Or I’m thinking of writing the definition of bisexual and pasting it on my friends lockers with the example being “Jenna is bisexual” or if we’re playing hangman or something during indoor recess I would make my word be, “I’m bisexual” Is this good? Tips and tricks are accepted💖💜💙

[@ghstwnn]

honestly just do it whichever way feels the most comfy for you :) it doesnt matter how you tell them, because if theyre really your friends they will love and support you unconditionally. best of luck friend

[@bilububb1133]

Hey, i really liked this video, definitely very informative. Part Two, please. And thank you. As well for all other videos, youre great :-*

[@annapuncher]

Yes, yes, yes. Had never heard of comp het until watching this video, thank you for opening my eyes to this. 💖😊

[@cathas7454]

I've thought about this a lot, and I genuinely don't think I would've ever realised I wasn't straight if I lived anywhere further back in time than the 50s or 60s.

[@ericaliu3635]

i stand for everything said in this video but also, to everyone reading this, please don’t use this concept of comphet to invalidate bisexuality!

[@Sidralovescrows]

Asexualiity should be default at birth, because babies don’t have attractions yet

[@mep6302]

True

[@alextheentertainer8362]

Wow I’m actually kinda early, this video was so interesting your great at explaining things!

[@lucy_6987]

this video was so helpful and comp het is something that i relate to and im starting to become more passionate about and hope to pursue fighting and educating others on it :)) thank you !!

[@w1llboss508]

Still questioning my sexuality but I’m Bi and Proud 💗💜💙

[@ellierods1077]

Wow ive never heard about this before but i glad i am now! This is why your videos are so amazing, all the information i have gained from you is insane so thank you!

[@moss5538]

Dammit was gonna watch it now then I have to wait... hmm alarm it is I might actually wake up early?? cya soon🏳️‍🌈

[@MsDickerz]

💗💗💗

[@MsDickerz]

Glad you were able to make it!!

[@lucam9806]

I'm so confused I thought I was gay but now I'm sorta having really ... unusual crushes on men, it feels totally different from what I felt for women but also different from friendship or admiration. So now I'm not sure if it's bisexuality or comp het

[@melindamcgucken8482]

I'd love to see more videos on comp het! Thank you for this awesome video!

[@breecollins479]

this was great and really well said! I'd love a part 2 :)

[@sparkee.]

So true! I'm so grateful you made this video. Much Love 💖💫💖

[@danidecarlo9715]

THANK YOU so much for making this video

[@killjoytw1nk]

I can't wait! I was really curious about this! ❤️

[@MsDickerz]

I’m glad to provide 💗💗

[@claire_caton]

I’m Bi, but your videos have helped me figure out my sexuality! Thank you so much 🥰

[@indigoshyl]

My Default assumption is bi to everyone for a long time.

[@justalittlevoice]

Adrienne Rich was the real deal. Can't wait for the podcast!

[@bastos2414]

Thank you for this video! These educational bits are so interesting!

[@universeoftrees3913]

I CAN’T WAIT

[@MsDickerz]

LOVE U

[@gerardsleftsock3946]

Here from the dutchy fam discord server! XD

[@escopey]

what is it called cuz sum1 said they would put a link but i dont think u can put links in comments

[@adriag.9245]

@@escopey discord.gg/GeUjuHy

[@escopey]

@@adriag.9245 ty

[@MsDickerz]

Hoiii!!

[@riverbunce67]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! IT IS SO HELPFUL!

[@cutevibez9142]

Okay but I love your energy sm

[@MsDickerz]

aww thank you very much, I appreciate that 💗

[@cutevibez9142]

@@MsDickerz haha, you're welcome!! Thank you so much for always posting such awesome content, you've seriously helped me out so much 💕💕💕💕💕

[@paella8741]

When I was flirting with guys I used to look at myself in the mirror and imagin ourself hugging to see if we would look good together (I had to put some effort on it). But now that I finally question myself on my sexuality I see that I don't care if would look good with a girl, I just want to be with one, I just want to be loved by one and loving her ! I tried to do the same mirror thing while imagining a women, but I just looked at me, I didn't need to do that, I just knew. (Sorry if my English is bad.)

[@chloedrew-batty6178]

Thank you, this video was very educational!! ☺️

[@paolaarellano6493]

do u guys think me thinking I'm gay might be just a phase?!?!?

[@lunamonir3073]

If you feel a certain way, then that’s how you feel. Give it some time, and if the feeling doesn’t go away, then chances are, it’s not a phase. Best of luck ❤️

[@paolaarellano6493]

​@@lunamonir3073 Thank you so much❤️

[@katemarie4567]

When I get tripped up on thinking "maybe it's a phase" I just try to re-approach the way I see it and look at it as "it's a part of my journey" because even if you end up figuring out it's not right for you, this time in your life is still valid and affects who you are in the future because you'll have a deeper understanding from your time reflecting and questioning. Plus, if you end up dating someone and turns out later you realized they're not part of who you're attracted to, a consenting healthy relationship is never a bad thing. Even if it doesn't work out. Be patient and love yourself and whoever you want to love ❤️

[@paolaarellano6493]

@@katemarie4567 thank you for that❤️

[@finnherrarte5827]

DUTCHY I CAME OUT TO MY MOM AND IM GETTING MY HAIR CUT IN A COUPLE DAYS AHHHH

[@MsDickerz]

I’m SO proud of you!!!

[@harryrocks44]

One of your most interesting videos ! Thank you for that ! I think it would be interesting to link the google document about compulsory heterosexuality and maybe make a video about it. Compulsory Heterosexuality is really about lesbians though, the weight that others feel when it comes to these norms is really the weight of our sexist heteronormative society, it's something that everyone go through, though most straight people might not be bothered by the heteronormative part. Whereas comphet is really the enforcement of heterosexuality and attraction to men on women who don't have this attraction at all, but are brainwashed into thinking they're into men when they're not and it never felt right.

[@maxkozak9702]

Watched 6 minutes and I've heard enough. Heterosexuality has nothing to do with patriarchy, it's simple probability that leads everyone to believe it's the default because at least 80 to 90% of humanity is not LGBT. Many of the academics tend to cluster around those numbers, so how can the claim be made that heterosexuality is not the default and is somehow artificially constructed to be oppressive? Bisexual people exist, but this is just going too far by attacking the default of humanity. It's not a matter of oppression, it's a matter of probability. if we don't assume people heterosexual what are we supposed to assume they are?

[@becmacey163]

this is hard .. u helped me feel alit more comfortable xx thankyouuuuu

[@mariannebrandon8891]

Comp hey is so real. Whenever I would say when I get married someday I would always a husband instead of husband or wife. My dad buys into comp het so badly. He said to me like a month ago that people are not truly gay. It goes against their biology to procreate. That anyone who is gay is just making a conscious choice and they are fooling themselves because only someone of the opposite sex can give them what they actually need It makes me so angry because he knows I’m bisexual and he doesn’t say anything mean to me but that is just as bad because you’re saying that if I was with a woman that I making a choice that I’m purposely choosing this knowing that I’m gonna be discriminated against and fetishized and knowing that it took me so long to even come out because I was so afraid of a negative reaction from my family and because I didn’t want anyone to think that I was doing it on purpose or doing it for attention it’s so disappointing how he thinks. And he had the nerve to say that if I did end up with the man he would be saying like I told you so and it’s like no dad if I was to end up with a man I would still be just as bi I will still be attracted to women there’s always a chance that if things didn’t work out I could end up with a woman ugh You would think I was a teenager arguing with him but now I’m a grown ass woman but he just makes me feel like a kid sometimes the way that he talks to me

[@youremyfavoritesong9868]

Love you Dutchy! 💖💜💙

[@MsDickerz]

Love you too!!

[@jojodanielle8600]

I hate this world . It’s so sad that you can’t even be yourself. People always say “ be yourself “, but can you really tho ? No...

[@leoabercrombie4375]

Hi Dutchy fam! I had an experience where up until 12 years old, I WAS straight...or so I thought? I only ever liked boys, and I never ever questioned my sexuality. It was only once I had a crush on a girl (and I easily recognized it as such) that I realized I wasn't straight. I've been wondering for a long time if this had to do with compulsory heterosexuality, or something with biology, or what...anyone else have experiences like this?

[@weronikaglinka2245]

I had a similar experience but I never really had a crush on a boy, I forced myself to have one because my friends would pressure me into telling them who I liked. I would basically pick a boy I thought was pretty or funny or nice and then force myself into having a crush on them. Then when I was 14/15 i started questioning, thinking that i wouldn't mind having a girlfriend and realised that i had completely fallen head over heels for my then best friend. Didn't last long (like a month and it took me a good year to get over her. Haven't spoken to her in years now), but I'm with my current girlfriend and couldn't be happier tbh.

[@leoabercrombie4375]

@@weronikaglinka2245 yeah I get what you're saying. I don't think I had quite the same experience--when I had a crush on a girl, I knew that it was a crush because it was the same way I had felt about boys for years. This was the reason I initially came out as bi, and then for almost a year I just completely lost my attraction to guys. So, I figured I was a lesbian, but now I'm kinda thinking I'm pan...honestly I'm chaos and sorry this isn't very helpful.

[@weronikaglinka2245]

@@leoabercrombie4375 yeah, I get where you're coming from and don't worry, just sharing my story! I've been questioning whether I actually like guys or not since I initially came out as bi too. I've just started sticking to labelling as queer but mostly sapphic and it's really calmed my fears of "lying to myself and everyone around me about my sexuality". Hope that maybe helps you out!

[@sarahlandry7857]

I have a situation, so I have grown up as a Christian and everyone in my family is Christian too including most of my extended family. I also go to a Christian school which makes the situation a bit more difficult. I realized I was bi a couple months ago and since then I’ve only come out to one person and I got a really good reaction from her so that was good. Since then I haven’t come out to anyone else, growing up as a Christian I have always been taught that women are only supposed to love men and men are only supposed to love women, buuuut we are also told to love/accept everyone around us. I have no idea how my family, friends and school are going to react. I have never seen anyone in my school who are also apart of the lgbt+ community soooooo I don’t really know what I should do and I feel like it’s wrong for me to like guys and girls but I do because like....women❤️

[@dolcebelcanto3626]

this is me....it took meeting another girl from the church, and then her coming out to me as bi and confessing she had a crush on me, to get me to really think about how I felt about that, specifically, and also my sexuality in general spoiler alert: I'm bi ✌🏻

[@EugeMarcos]

Thankyou!! Really enjoyed this video and info!

[@VLena_art]

5:30 Oh my feaking gawd! My mind blew into little tiny grains of sand! I Love to see more!

[@maggieo1683]

Comp het has got to end!! Love is love people. Happiness is happiness. I hope a day will come when for example Hallmark Channel, which is extremely annoying to me as a bisexual girl, will finally have an LGBTQ+ couple! I can't wait until heterosexuality and being cisgender being the default and what's assumed from people automatically can stop. You are valid no matter what your sexuality and gender identity is, and don't you dare let anyone tell you otherwise!!

[@mirthehohenstein45]

But uhm when are we gonne learn this in school? Honestly I think that would really help challenging comp het

[@Kamo766]

Let us stop denying People sexual self determination!

[@alexandrajones45]

This is why I’ve only just come out as bi at the age of 22 😂 any time I found a girl attractive I would just say well everyone has girl crushes and I’ve liked guys so why would I even think about it further than that

[@baruvesel4657]

i was always feeling that the word lesbian is something like a slur or just bad word. therefore i almost can't say to myself that i'm lesbian but i'm trying to work with it cause being a lesbian isn't something i should be ashamed of.

[@reshijeshi2124]

Totally the reason I'm scared to come out to my family.

[@fantasticfrances]

Did anyone else have a rose and Rosie ad before the video?

[@MsDickerz]

Omg that rocks!! I love that :)

[@fantasticfrances]

Dutchy ikr I bet they’d love you They’ve never answered me but maybe they’ll answer you :) I love that you try and interact with your fans so much I really feel lucky that I became a fan when you were at 2k because I got the luxury of you answering my DMs and stuff thank you so much it means a lot and makes my day x

[@rainyday3708]

Thank you for this video I really enjoyed it

[@wormoncrack4276]

Thanks for this video it really educational and well done

[@MsDickerz]

Thanks so much!!