MST3k 312 - Gamera vs Guiron

This is - yes! - a most important and...breathtaking film. To watch...Gamera...is to...enjoy...the most...men in...rubber monster suits...of any...film...to see.
/ mst3k
mst3konline.blogspot.com - a list of every episode available for online streaming!

[@IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere]

A world with no wars, or traffic accidents, and preserved MST3k episodes, that's what we all wish for.

[@redsredemptionemporium2841]

#ItrumptedTrump

[@dmrr7739]

That, and Christmas lights on all the buildings year round… and also, a community wood shop, but one where you can reserve tools a day in advance.

[@scottydu81]

Also no Dutch

[@originalkingalpha5116]

....and an endless amount of fresh baked Smurf berry cookies.

[@Face2theScr33n]

I guess keeping cancer around is a fair trade.

[@The_Real_Rasha]

Cornjob is the hero of this story. Even though he's a "By the Rules" guy, he's insightful., and gives credit to the children.

[@thatswhatshesaid2777]

What's funny is that the guys call Guiron "Knifehead" at one point. Years later, a Kaiju named Knifehead was in Pacific Rim.

[@toddtyoung]

“Boo, it says.” Mike was BRILLIANT in that closing segment-and who knew he could play piano so well!

[@The_Real_Rasha]

I love that little bit, "Boo! is says." The whole end bit, including, "Kill him. Better yet, I'll kill him, you push the button" is a great piece. After what they did to Jack Perkins, I kind of expected it.

[@HylianFox3]

This is easily my favorite of the Gamera flicks. As Servo rightly points out, it's damn goofy.

[@edwardbrook2029]

Servo freaking Rules!!! 😎💪🏻

[@BoeingCrazy]

the facts that you continue to bless us with mst3k for over a decade warms my heart. its like youre trapped in the satilite of love with only mst3k and you share it with the world

[@kevhead1525]

Gamera is friend to children. Cornjob is the mad barber of children.

[@nonprofitgirl]

That made me laugh out loud, hard. My mom was our mad barber and it showed! Ouch. My bangs!

[@ZiggaRats]

that kid really does look like Richard Burton

[@archstanton9073]

You know, he should really tell his sister his name.

[@HylianFox3]

I became convinced that his name really is "Brother". Akio is just a nickname.

[@gregmark1688]

Man, was this like, the only time Mike showed off those amazing piano chops?? I had no idea!

[@Macrochenia]

This was the first episode of this show I ever watched.

[@analogkid01]

Pretty close then - mine was 311, It Conquered the World.

[@BryonYoungblood]

Tomoko to Officer Kondo: Good morning, Kon-chan! Joel: Cornjob??? And so it begins! 😂 Given how Tomoko’s dub VA sounded, I don’t blame Joel for rolling with it like that! It’s that kind of stuff that makes for good riffs in MST3K.

[@stoneyboyd]

39:46 “Hey it looks like Frankenstein, look at it!” “MMMMMRRRRR!”

[@YellowJeep]

Gamera is friend to children.

[@AlexanderPhipps]

Analogkid uploading Mst3k? Now all we need is Strong Bad answering an email, and all will be right with the world again.

[@nyarg33]

DONT TALK ABOUT OUR TURTLE, MARTHA

[@analogkid01]

You laughed your goddamn shell off, George!

[@WillieBeW3]

Thank you for the upload, your dedication knows no bounds!

[@billythemountainbear]

Thank you Hello!

[@twig8523]

Wow. New upload. Thanks! Yeah, I don't always go to the Gizmoplex to watch my MST3K.

[@bewdragon2908]

You kill him, I'll push the button.

[@graemesmith6721]

Mike does an amazing Michael Feinstein impression.

[@onkcuf]

Ah, look at the bones!

[@Double512]

this is probably the single most awful dub i've ever heard in my life i love it!

[@analogkid01]

Hello!

[@123milw]

Thank you!

[@winstonlarue]

It’s the “sandy frank” dub. Was disappointed when I ordered the dvd and they had re-dubbed it.. not as funny/bad. This had to be a first read thru and they just said “good nuff”.

[@sclerismockrey8506]

no kidding, it's f'ing HORRENDOUS. I'd never heard this version until MST3K. It wasn't nearly this atrocious the first few times i saw it on TV (those viewings were of Attack of the Monsters with the Titra dub since it was well before the time of this nauseating dub in the mid '80s). wow is it bad.

[@winstonlarue]

@@sclerismockrey8506 lol. My mother and I ran across this on tv one day on a local Memphis channel. I managed to record a lot of it on a video tape. It’s still one of most prized possessions!

[@graemesmith6721]

Japanese uses the same word for "star" and "planet," so the translation doesn't distinguish between them. Also, Tom is right, this is one goofy movie.

[@cory6266]

That doesn't explain why the people doing the dub kept switching between the two.

[@andrewcastellane7802]

I dont know Japanese but if what you say is true they were the only people on Earth who didnt differentiate between the two, could it be that stars and planets were heavenly bodies but planets were not stars?

[@graemesmith6721]

@@andrewcastellane7802 Planets were stars that moved.

[@edwardbrook2029]

@@cory6266True. But adds to the character. I mean it is Sandy Frank material! #theytriedtokillmewithaforklift!!

[@ellnats]

the dismemberment jokes are so bad they're good

[@UFO_computers]

Thank you

[@alistercaddy1208]

38:03 we all can control the laws of nature with electronic brains. It's no big deal.

[@chrisc6857]

Heh... 'Naughty?' ...I think this is beyond naughty...

[@JacobiusNH80]

8:34: LOL Joel's yell

[@ragohwhiteclaw7462]

This is the one episode I can think of, the only one, where the invention exchange features something that would actually be useful. I want one of those collapsible waste buckets! I would get miles of use out of that!

[@stubie1456]

“LA LA LA!”

[@brentroscoe9922]

Sometimes I wonder if some of these movies have caused actors when they die to have a nameless headstone

[@rackroll4405]

So the future of mankind is forever altered by this alien tech?

[@hizzy70]

Ahhh mst3k the pioneers of the double bass pedal

[@aakuster]

Hello, thank you

[@JW-do2wc]

Why did the corn started popping? It had a CORNJOB.

[@NameNotAlreadyTaken2]

This must be the worst english dub ever made. There's so many memorable lines.

[@HylianFox3]

When BotW came out I could not stop thinking of this movie "It's a CALAMITY!"

[@smulktis]

Ahh yea this the good stuff

[@yerabbit6333]

thank you for continuing to circulate the tapes

[@darthclaytor]

Best part was Mike at the end!

[@wjadam024]

this was sooo Beakman

[@videogamehunter820]

Anyone else find every scene with the little (50 year old) girl to be hilarious? She sounds like a character from Peanuts, and their riffs are superb.

[@davefletch3063]

Don’t ya hate it when people talk through the movie?

[@taterboob]

I remember being around six, and renting this based purely on the cover, being a colossal Godzilla fan. By the time it got to the Gamera song, I realized that I made a huge mistake. Even that young, I remember having the thought "This is dollar store Godzilla".

[@patrickv391]

This movie served it torturous purpose well.

[@ItsMrAssholeToYou]

Those poor women. Starving, barely surviving on a dying world, and those selfish brats (who stole their spaceship and broke into their home, btw) refused to share anything with them.

[@DeltaVTX]

Number 9? Number 9? Number… 9?

[@aarondavis8943]

The Watusi. The Twist. Eldorado.

[@janetrawlings1691]

Beatles

[@canonbehenna612]

Original guiron was a goofy kitchen knife monster and limited by distriction of a man in suit Rebirth guiron was like a living tetsusaiga if only he had the wind scar and backlash wave

[@docthemetalfreak]

so when Gamera took on Gyaos it took an entire movie to defeat him. Guiron takes on Gyaos taken down in mere minutes. yikes.

[@disconnected22]

It’s all about having that knife head

[@docthemetalfreak]

@@disconnected22 I wonder how often he has to sharpen it

[@cepson]

Surely this movie was made solely to fulfill some contractual obligation, or maybe the producers would lose the rights to the Gamera IP if they didn't make at least one movie every couple of years.

[@disconnected22]

The company was perpetually fighting bankruptcy

[@curtisdavis8261]

Aw, Joy!

[@cavalierfan1995]

tonight on the yuasa network a very special episode of swamp thing

[@SANTOSOSANTOS]

"What's the drinking age"?..😂

[@randez626]

1:19:30 over an HOUR for him to realize this...

[@AdmSkol]

Anal-ogkid thanks for the upload

[@rackroll4405]

6/10

[@wigglyennui]

These kids sound full grown lol

[@aarondavis8943]

This is very strange stuff lol

[@ooEVILGOAToo]

Richard Burton was 44 when this was filmed, that kid is NOT him.

[@analogkid01]

I'm not convinced.

[@ooEVILGOAToo]

i'm refering to the MST3Kversion, Rchard Burton is mentioned quite a bit@@analogkid01 this movie is 1969

[@agallimoreagallimore2126]

I’m like number 666!

[@jimtrack3786]

I'm sorry...I tried to watch. I got to the Gamara part, but the sing song crap brought on the voices in my head so I had to stop.

[@Pause321]

I want some Taco Bell

[@cindernubblebutt1340]

Whenever I watch a modern horror movie and there's people being stalked by a killer or an alien or a monster, I sing the "Cornjob song", much to the dismay of my kids.... and wife ....and dog... and two cats. Of course I must get the last word in with "And Cornjob will be...blamed". Then I lean back in complete satisfaction. But hey, at least the little girl doesn't constantly bug everyone for a coke. For those not in "the know" the refrain, "You die Joe!" is a common line in post WW2 comics depicting that conflict. My giant comic book nerd friend scoured his collection after seeing this episode and showed me at least 5 instances of that almost exact line in the books he had on hand.

[@KillswitchEngage2010]

talk talk talk talk

[@sammontanez6908]

1:19:31

[@yohannbiimu]

The dubbers could have at least put a LITTLE effort into their performances, but I guess its awfulness is part of its charm.